Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 12, Episode 9 - FOMO You Didn't - full transcript

♪ ♪

Ugh, so filthy.
Us or the house?

Both, kind of. No offense.
None taken. Oops.

Listen, don't forget, we got
to keep the apartment clean

for when Violet comes.

Who's Violet, again?

The woman who wrote us
that letter,

who grew up in the apartment.

She's coming over this afternoon
to see the old place.

She's gonna be disappointed
when she remembers it's this.

Dad, can you take another bite,
but this time, look more alive?



Huh?
It's for my photography class
assignment.

The theme is life.
Why is me eating eggs life?

Um, because it's due today
and I kind of waited

till the last minute, so smile?

Hmm.
Thattagirl.

I mean, I'm not
totally confident

with the school camera.

A lot of the pictures
I take are kind of blurry

sometimes a lot blurry
but at least I don't skip class

like everyone else.
Oh.

And by "everyone," I mean Tammy,
Jimmy Jr., Jocelyn and Zeke.

Ah, the teenage pubin'
ninja turtles.

Yeah, they sneak off
during class and get slushies

at the convenience store
down the street.



And then they hang out
at an abandoned house

that's partly demolished.

They call it Half House.

I've never gone with them,
but it sounds great.

Counterpoint: sounds terrible.
Except for the slushies part.

We used to skip school and go
to the driedup sewer tunnel.

It smelled a little,
but it was fun.

But you shouldn't skip.

No, I know. I don't skip class.

But I feel like I miss out
on all the fun.

Well, you probably miss out
on a lot of tetanus.

Hey, T, take a picture of this.

I'm Glenn Toast.

Gene! You're getting crumbs
all over the floor.

Sorry. It's for art.

Oh, my God.

Half House was so fun yesterday.

Remember when some
of the ceiling fell down

and we pretended we were
putting in a skylight?

Yeah.
So much natural light.

I wouldn't mind
seeing natural light.

Hey, have you guys noticed
Mr. Branca's been mopping

that same spot
for a really long time?

Maybe he's lost in thought,

remembering all the tricky
spills he's cleaned up.

And all the spills
that got away.
Oh...

Oops, it rolled over there.
You better go get it.

Odd.
Yeah. Why does he hate
pencils so much?

Because they taunt you with
their deliciouslooking erasers

that actually
don't taste that good?

And here's the living room
that always looks this clean.

Oh, my goodness.
It's just like I remembered.

The wall?
The whole room.

Except we had
the couch over there,

'cause it just made
the most sense.

But the couch over there

is what you did.
Oh. Uhhuh.

So in your letter,
you mentioned you're in town

for your mom's 90th birthday?

Yep. We've got
a big family party planned.

All the cousins are coming.

Ooh, fun. Kissing cousins,
maybe? Right?

No.

Right, right. Yuck.
Could I look at my old room?

Of course.
Just don't look under the bed.

Not because
anyone stuffed a bunch

of dirty clothes under there.

So you got the closeup,

the medium shot
and my favorite,

the long shot.

This is the one
that came in very handy

in my work
as a private investigator.

Caught a lot of dirty dogs
with the long shot.

Did I mention
I used to be a P.I.?
Yes.

Okay, remember, the photography
show is this Friday,

and the theme is
different perspectives.

Can I use this picture
of Jocelyn

I just took on my phone
for the show?

No, no cell phone pictures.

This is afilm photography
class.

Like it's been since I gave you
the film cameras to use.

And all that film?

And no slacking off
for this show, people.

Look, I know I'm a fun teacher.

Everyone wants to take
De Santo's class.

"He's an authority figure
but he's also cool."

Yeah, you are.

But you know what's not cool?

Slacking off, like some of you
have been doing.

Not you, Susmita.
You're nailing it.

Yeah, I was gonna say.

So step it up,
because right now,

it looks like a lot of you
are riding the D train.

Oh, no. Mr. De Santo,
how do we know

if we're currently
on the D train?

When I hand you back your work
and it usually has D's on it,

that's a pretty good sign.

Oh, yeah,
that's sounding familiar.

Okay, go explore
and take some pictures.

I'll see you here
before the bell rings.

I don't want
to get stuck on the D train.

Oh, no! It broke.

You can just screw it back on.

Oh, cool trick.
Thanks, Susmita.

It's not really a trick.
It's just how cameras work.

Right, right.
Wink.

Thanks, Bob.
I mean, it's not

how Linda pours coffee
you know, with a little flair

but it's fine.
Sorry, Teddy.

Geez, Linda's been upstairs
for a while.

I mean, how long
does it take for someone

to look at our apartment?
It's not that big.

Oh, there they are.
Bob, come here and meet Violet.

She's leaving.
Linda, Bob poured
the coffee weird.

What?
II'll tell you
when you come in.

Bob, Violet says this place
used to be a donut shop.

Did we know that?
I don't think so.

It always smelled
so good out here.

And now it smells...

So, I should get going.

Oh.
Thank you both
for letting me come.

Of course.
You come back anytime, okay?

All right, bye.
Bye.

OOur place smells okay, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Wow, so that was
some heavyduty stuff

about us needing
to step it up in class.

Maybe no one should ditch
and we should all just have fun

doing our photography
schoolwork?

Nah. We're still
getting slushies

and going to Half House.
Yeah.

I want to play Is That
Gonna Give Me a Splinter?

I love that game.

Except that time I got
a really bad splinter.

But, guys, I mean,
I'm pretty sure none of us

can afford to get a D
in this class, right?

Eh, I'm getting A's and B's
in all my other classes.

One D is not gonna pee
on my GPA.

Me, too.
Same.
Yeah.

Wait, you guys are all
getting A's and B's?

Even you, Jocelyn?
I mean, you, too, Jocelyn?

Yeah. I'm brainy.
Come on, you guys.

Let's get in touch
with some slush.

Have fun.

Look at them go.

They're gonna have
the best time.

How the hell is Jocelyn
getting A's and B's?

Hey, Tina.
Aah!

Sorry to interrupt you doing
whatever it is you're doing.

Wait, why are you here?
I was in study hall

and I saw you out here
so I got a bathroom pass.

Listen, I got a Branca update.

Hey, I saw you guys talking,
so I told Coach Blevins

that I lost a ball over here
'cause I kicked it so hard.

I'm a jock.
So, guess who's still mopping

the same spot.

Mr. Branca.
Interesting.

Maybe he's a robot
and got stuck in a mop loop?

Oh, sorry,
I'm in the photo zone.

You know what I mean.
Oh, yeah. Totally.

Well, I guess I should
take some pictures, too.

Of different perspectives.

Is that why you're holding
your camera upside down?

What? Dang it.

Susmita, how are you so good
at this stuff?

Tina, if you want, I can show
you some photography basics.

Really?
Yeah, I mean,
turning the camera

the right way
gets you halfway there.

Sort of.
Right. Halfway.

Half. Half House.

This is the most fun

I've had in my whole life!

Tina?
Huh? Yeah?

You ready to take some pictures?

Uh, yes, so slush.
I mean so much.

I mean, yay.

So, how was everyone's day
at school?

Anyone pass any fun notes
during class?

Give Mama the gossip.

Well, let's see.
Mr. Branca's brain broke

and he mopped
the same spot all day.

Also, I kicked a ball
really hard in P.E.

No, I didn't.
Tina, what about you?

How did my egg picture work out?

Everybody see life in it?
I don't know. You tell me.

It's good.
It's blurry.

They're all blurry.
And apparently you can get a D

in photography class
when you take pictures

that aren't "in focus."

So now Susmita's helping me.

Aw, that's the one you took
of everyone watching TV.

You're not in it,
but you can't tell

'cause everyone's
kind of blobby.

I'm putting this one
on the fridge.

Oh, I just got a text
from Violet.

She wants to come tomorrow
and bring her brother.

Huh, I'm surprised
she wants to come back.

Well, yyou did say
"Come back any time."

So maybe, not that surprising?

Oh, boy.
I got to clean again.

No one get anything
on the floor.

In fact, let's eat
over the toilet

so we can flush away the crumbs.

Yay!
Wait, wait, never mind.

Bad idea, bad idea.
Too late, I'm doing it.

So that looks like
a leaf, right?

Yeah. Wait is this
a trick question?

But look what happens
when you go in really close.

Oh, cool. It's like
I'm on an airplane

looking down
at a really neat ground.

I'd call that perspective
a little different, right?

Yeah, sure, sure.
Oh, hey, guys.

Later, tater.
It's ditching hour.

I'm gonna stay here.
You know, like I usually do.

Oh, they're already gone.

Um, do you want to take
some pictures?

What? Uh, sure.

Maybe I'll take some pictures
of this fence.

Lens cap.
Huh? Who's Len Scap?

No, your lens cap is on.

Oh, whoops.
Good eye, Susmita, good eye.

I can't stay long.
I got to get back to P.E.

and hopefully not get hit
too hard in my pee place

with a dodgeball.
Shh.

Look, there's Branca,

buffing the cleanest spot
in school.

Come on. Let's go get
the downloadian

from that custodian.

Keep moving.
I'm buffing here.

Speaking of, Mr. Branca,
seems like you've been cleaning

this same spot
for the past two days.

Hey, I don't come
to your classroom

and tell you how to do
your algebras, do I?

I mean, I wish you would.
Wait, did we get

a new Wagstaff Whaler
model ship thingy?

Ring, ring, ring.
That's the bell.

You got to go.
Byebye.

Aah! If you're hinting
for us to leave,

you're not being
very subtle about it, FYI.

I'm back!
Lin! Bob and I
missed you so much.

Yeah.
You were gone a long time.

I know, I know,
but Violet and her brother

were telling me stories
about when they were little.

We were laughing
and looking around the place.

Oh, and they saw
your underwear drawer.

I'm sorry, it just happened.
Uh, okay.

Well, it's nice that Violet
got to see the apartment, again,

but I'm glad you're back.

I mean, I kind of miss
when both of us worked here.

Yeah, yeah, uh...
Oh, no. What?

They're coming back tomorrow
and bringing a lot of cousins.

They're coming again?
Their whole family's in town

for their mom's 90th,
and they want to see

the apartment, too.
Hey, Lin, I have an idea.

What if I go upstairs
with them tomorrow

and you stay down here,
and it'll be a short visit

'cause I'm not that good
at talking to people

and they'll get uncomfortable
and leave?

Aw, sweetie, people don't get

that uncomfortable
talking to you.

Eh...
I promise I'll keep it short.

Oh, and don't use the bathroom
upstairs until then, okay?

Oh, my God.

All right, people.

So, as a former P.I.,
I notice things.

For instance, I just noticed
something in my garbage can.

Four empty slushie cups.

This makes me suspect
that some of you have been

leaving school
during class time.

What?
Nobody's leaving school.

But if someone
was leaving school,

would that even be a problem?

I mean, 'cause this
is such an understanding,

super cool, relaxed vibe
kind of class.

Thank you, it is. But if you
were leaving school grounds

during this cool class,

I'd have to send you
to the principal's office,

and you could be suspended.

Oh.
Oh, my God.

Looks like those little ditches
are gonna have

to ditch the ditching.
Huh?

Nothing.
Should we hit the darkroom?

I brought a flashlight.
Just kidding.

I know that ruins pictures.
I mean, I know that now.

♪Pictures ♪

♪Taking pictures ♪

♪Where is Linda? ♪

♪Take more pictures ♪

♪Try to focus,
pictures, pictures ♪

♪Take more pictures ♪

♪Click, click, camera, click ♪

♪Trying to solve
a really weird mystery ♪

♪Pictures. ♪

The photography show

is tonight
and I'm still not sure

which picture I should use.
I mean, this one's

too blurry, that one's too dark,
that one is darkand blurry.

Tina, that one's pretty good.
Really?

The picture I took of Tammy
and all those guys ditching?

And not at all because I was
super jealous of them ditching?

Yeah. The fence against
the blurry background, it's...

Did you mean to do that?
Oh, uh, yeah?

I think this one is gonna
get you off the D train.

You think?
D, for "definitely."

I mean, you can't
really tell who they are.

Yeah, they're all blurry blobs.

So I can use this in the show.

It really is my best picture.

Yeah, it is.
Let that puppy dry out

and get ready to get
an average grade in this class.

Um, I don't think so.

Tammy.
You can go ahead
and drown that puppy,

because you are not
using it in the show.

I'm sorry I said that thing
about drowning puppies.

Susmita's the one who brought
up puppies. It's her fault.

No, Tina, you can't use
that photo in the show.

I'm in it, and I don't
give you permission,

I'm not signing a release
and I will sue your boobs off.

It's not of you.
It's of a fence.

AAnd it's the only picture
I took

that's good enough for the show.

Well, then, crop me out of it.

You can't really be cropped out.

You're in the middle.
Sorry, can't use it.

But I really...
Tina, I can't get
suspended for ditching.

My parents are gonna
let me visit

my cousin in Greece this summer.

BFOG.
Boys From Other Greece, Tina.

And if I get suspended, there's
no way they'll let me go.

Hey, girls.
Oh, hey, Mr. De Santo.

I got to step out
for a few minutes.

The new blazers for
the debate team just arrived,

and apparently the shoulder pads
are out of control.

Leave any pictures
for the photography show

on that shelf over there.

I'm gonna put them up in a bit.

Okay.
Got it.
Mine's already there.

Sorry, Tammy, but I really think
I got to use this picture.

Hmm, you know what?
I'm looking at it again,

and you're right,
you can hardly tell

that beautiful person is me.

Wait, so does that mean
you're okay if I use it?

Yeah. It's fine.
Really?

Yeah.
Hey, I just got an idea.

Let's get afterschool slushies
and go to Half House.

Afterschool slushies
and afterschool Half House?

Okay, that's legal.
Susmita, you coming?

Eh, I was gonna stay here
and do some more developing.

Oh, Susmita, you have to come.

Um, why?

Uh, because
you're gonna love it.

Put the school work down for
once and let loose, you goose.

Yeah, come, Susmita.
It'll be fun, I assume.

Come with us. We'll have fun.

Come with us.
We'll have fun.

At the house wh...
Oh.

Okay, I'll come.
Mmkay, great.

So, you think there's gonna
be broken glass there?

If we're lucky.
Oh, I just remembered

I have to do this one thing
that I forgot I had to do

and I really have to do it,

but you guys go ahead and
I'll meet up with you in a bit.

Okay.
Go, go, go.

They sell out of
the red slushies sometimes,

and the red slushies
are the best.

Come on, Susmita.
Wehalf to go.

Get it? Like Half House.
Yeah, I get it.

See?
We're alreadyhalfing fun.

Okay, I'll stop.

Oh, you're Violet's
cousin Lewis.

I've heard so much about you.

Did you pass
the kidney stones yet?

Uh, working on it.
Oh, good for you.

Look at this picture.

Doesn't this remind you
of the one we took

when we were kids?

You know, from Thanksgiving
when Victor was showing us

his juggling and he hit
Mom's boob with an orange?

Aw.
Oh, yeah.

Except the couch was
on the other side of the room.

And for the record, that was
my first time juggling oranges.

And Mom's boob was fine.
Hey, you know what?

Everybody from that picture
is here right now.

Except Mom.
You know
what you should do?

Recreate your family photo.

Like that guy
on the Internet did

where he wore a onesie
and he sat on his dad's lap.

Ooh, that's a great idea.

We could get Mom
and bring her here.

Linda, would it be okay
if we moved the couch?

Just shift it a little bit
across the room.

Just for the picture.
Oh, yeah, we got to move
the couch.

You guys go ahead,
and I'm gonna text Bob

and tell him I'll be up here
a little longer.

"Coming back soon.

Doing a quick thing first."

We'd have to move the TV, too.

And the coffee table.
Yeah, yeah.

"Lin. Please no."

"It'll just take
a few minutes to an hour.

Love, your great wife,
who you love, Linda."

And send.

Look! Tina!

You can see the toilet
from the living room,

and I can see you when
I'm sitting on the toilet.

Now, that's an open floor plan.
That's, uh, great.

This is uh, all really great.
Tammy's taking a long time,

so I'm gonna take a sip
of her slushie.

Don't tell.
Where is Tammy?

She said she was gonna go
to the darkroom for some reason.

And she said something
about a negative,

and I was like,
"Just be positive, girl."

I knew
she was up to something.

Tina, I bet she went back
to the darkroom

to mess up your picture.
Oh, my God.

I got to go.
I'm coming with you.

Uh, bye. Half House
is a whole lot of fun

and not boring at all.

Ah. Whoa, what was that?

You guys having a thunderstorm
in your apartment?

It doesn't sound good,
whatever it is.

Okay, I'm gonna
find out what's happening,

and if I can make it stop.

Teddy, do you mind
if I lock you in?

What? Now you're going
upstairs, too?

No, no, no.
Just eat your burger

and I'll be right back down.

Uh, okay. I can do that.
Like this?

Teddy, just eat the burger
the way you normally eat it

and I'll be right back.

Uh, Linda?
WWhat's going on?

We're recreating
the old living room

so they can recreate a family
photo that was very funny.

And Violet's mom
is on her way here.

And they're gonna surprise her
for her 90th birthday.

And it's great
and you're totally on board.

Thanks for letting us
do this, Bob.

You're gonna make my mom's
birthday so special.

Also, doesn't the couch
look better over there?

I think it does.
Isn't it great?

Look at that couch
where it's meant to be.

Oh, I love all of this so much.

Okay, well, I guess
I'll go back downstairs

and you guys
will keep doing this.

Mom's here.
Victor's bringing her up.

Everyone, hide!
Okay, good luck.

Wait, Bob,
you can't go down yet.

You'll ruin the surprise.

But her mom
doesn't even know who I am.

She's coming.

But Teddy's alone
in the restaurant

and you know I can't crouch.

SShush.
Ow, I hate crouching.

Well, this is Branca's
favorite spot, but no Branca.

I thought our plan of spying
on him after school

when there were no kids around
was a good one, but where is he?

I don't know,
but this floor is really clean.

Oops, not anymore.

The Whaler ship
definitely looks different.

Hmm.
I'm not great with ships.

I know the cloth things
are called boat flaps.

Wait, shh. Do you hear that?

Come on, glue. Be more sticky.

What's he doing?
Gene, don't lean on me. Whoa!

Who's there?

What? This isn't
the afterschool program

for gifted
and talented children.

Wait a minute, is that
the Wagstaff Whaler ship?

No, this is aa cleaning device
shaped like a ship.

It's from Sweden.

Ooh.
Uhhuh.
Uh, fine.

This is the Wagstaff's
precious Whaler model ship.

Then what's the ship
in the case?

It's a decoy ship
I put in there.

I was cleaning the Whaler's case
a few days ago

and it accidentally
dropped on the floor.

Some of its little pieces broke
and II'm repairing it.

Why didn't you just
tell people what happened

instead of mopping
everyone away?

Are you kidding me?

Have you seen the way
the principal looks at it?

It's his pride and joy.

So, this is your plan?

You're rebuilding it and then
you're gonna switch it back?

Yes.
It's a good plan.

I mean, it looks
a little different,

but all the right pieces
are there.

Mr. Branca, you little rascal.

This is the most work
anyone's ever put

into anything at this school.

I know.
Hey, your secret's safe
with us.

Yeah.
We can swap secrets.

Mine is that I'm not the best
at keeping secrets.

Tina, we found out
what's up with Branca.

Can't talk.
I think Tammy's in the darkroom

destroying the negative
of the only good picture

I've ever taken.
What?

We're coming.
Come on, Gene.

And I'm out of breath.

Tammy, no!
Tina, I'm sorry,

but you left me no choice.
Oh, my God.

At least she said sorry?

Tammy, I can't believe
you did that!

I had to cut up your picture
and the negative, Tina,

which took me a really long time
to find, by the way.

Negatives are so small.

Ugh, Tammy,
that was my best picture.

I can't get suspended, Tina.

My parents would kill me,
which means I wouldn't be able

to go to Greece,
with Greek BFOG boys, remember?

Ugh!
Think about what's important.

Tina, you want us
to mess her up?

Lock the door and make her
eat the negative?

And maybe some of us take
a taste, too? Just to see?

Okay, I'm gonna go 'cause it's
feeling kind of hostile in here.

And I'm leaving and goodbye.
Have a good show.

Aah!
Tammy.

Okay, Mom, hold your boob
like you just got hit

with an orange.
Like this, Ma. There you go.

Good.
Now, everyone look surprised.

Beautiful.
Look at that.

Aw.

What a wonderful birthday.

We used to live here.
That's right, Ma.

Well, we kept it clean
when we were here, though.

Okay.
They really let
this place go, huh?

Oh, you're fun.

Linda's back. Bob,

Linda's back.
I know, Teddy.

I see her.
Violet and her family left.

So, we'll see them tomorrow?

When they come and repaint,
I'm guessing?

No, I don't think so.
It's just so sweet.

A family coming back,
reliving memories and the life

they built together.

That's gonna be us someday, pal.

We're gonna move out
and come back

and take a family photo.

And I hope whoever's living here
helps us move the furniture.

Where are we moving?

I mean, we can't move
somewhere smaller.

Oh, Bob.
Okay, Lin, yes,
it's actually very sweet.

You're right.
But just so you know,

if we move out and come back,

I will never be able
to climb those stairs.

I'll come by and give you
a hand up the stairs.

Teddy, you'll also be old.
Why are you in such good shape?

Diet, exercise
and I take a multivitamin.

You got to take
care of yourself, Bob.

Mmm.
Can I get more fries?

All of these pictures

are terrible.
I can't use any of them.

He may as well give me a D,
'cause I'm done.

If I hadn't been so obsessed

with going to Half House
and finally having all the fun

I thought I was missing out on,

then Tammy wouldn't have been
able to trick me.

What am I gonna do?

Well, what if you try to put
the negative back together?

What do you mean?
I mean, it'll look
a little different,

but all the right pieces
will be there.

Oh, you Branca it.

Yeah. And maybe
it'll be more interesting?

You mean in, like,
a "different perspective" way?

That might work.
Louise, hand me that garbage.

Don't call me that!
Oh, right.

Wow.

It's good.
It's like

an artsyfartsy puzzle.

I love it.
Thanks.

Louise, Gene
and Susmita helped me.

We get 50% if it sells.

The price is a $150,000.

Tina, nice twist on the theme.
Very interesting.

Thanks, it was always my plan
to do this, the whole time.

So, no D train?
No D train for you, Tina.

What's D train?
Oh, uh, just
a photography term.

I'm a great student.
Uh, hey, look, there's Susmita!

Hey, Susmita, no D train for me.

Nice.
You know, taking pictures
with you this week

was way more fun than the fun
I imagined having at Half House.

Yeah, it's a half
torndown house.

And I sat on a bunch
of cigarette butts.

Yeah.

Psst.
Louise, Gene.

The Whaler is fixed. I've got
to get it back in its case

but everyone's gonna be looking.

Just wait until after the show
and put it back then.

I can't.
I heard the principal's coming.

He'll want to see his baby.
Okay, got it.

Gene, get ready.

Hey, everyone,
look how much cheese

my brother can fit in his mouth.

Yeah!

He's a marvel of science!

Thank you.

Hey, Tina,
no hard feelings, right?

I mean, some hard feelings.

Is that your picture, Tammy?
Yeah.

It's a selfportrait.
What's in your nose?

Is that a booger?
What? No.

Gross.
It's a shadow.

A boogershaped shadow.

Shut up! Stop!
Nobody look!

♪Does the couch
look better over here? ♪
♪No, it doesn't ♪

♪Does the couch
look better over there? ♪
♪I don't think so ♪

♪Does the couch
look better over here? ♪
♪No, it doesn't ♪

♪Does the couch
look better over there? ♪
♪I don't think so ♪

♪Does the couch
look better over here? ♪
♪No, it doesn't ♪

♪Does the couch
look better over there? ♪
♪I don't think so ♪

♪Does the couch
look better over here? ♪
♪No, it doesn't ♪

♪Does the couch
look better over there? ♪
♪I don't think so ♪

Oh, my back hurts.
Oh, my legs hurt.

Oh, my arms hurt.
Everything hurts.

Are we dying?
Oh, God. Oh...

♪Does the couch
look better over here? ♪
♪No, it doesn't ♪

♪Does the couch
look better over there? ♪
♪I don't think so. ♪

Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

and TOYOTA.