Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 11, Episode 16 - Y Tu Tina También - full transcript

♪

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

(Tina sighs)

Hi, journal.
Nothing interesting to report.

Just another rainy spring day.

Isn't spring supposed to be
full of promise

and new growth
and crap like that?

It's giving me nothing.

The most exciting thing
that's happened to me lately

is when I thought
we got a new bar of soap

in the kitchen,
but it was a peeled potato.



(excitedly): Oh.

(disappointed): Oh.

Didn't get my hands
clean at all.

Don't even think that.

Ah, the school fair's
not getting rained out.

Scott Baggs just said
the clouds will lift by Friday.

By the way, thank you so much

for assigning us
to a booth this year.

It's been three straight years
of cleanup committee.

So, what'd we get?
What'd we get?

Oh. Huh.

Well, it's no
temporary tattoo booth,

but I guess it's something.

All right, bye.



So, we're running a booth
this year? Which one?

- Water.
- There's a water booth?

We finally get to run a booth,
and it's the lamest one.

Well, at least you kids
could hang out

at the water booth with Mommy.

Oh... that sounds fun.

(Tina groans)

Aw, Tina,
I hate seeing you like this,

all poopy and droopy.

Here, now you don't
have to see me. (grunts)

You're gonna be okay.
You're just in a bit of a funk.

I believe she's suffering
from a case of moody-teen-itis.

She's got to get
her teen-itis booster.

(Tina sighs)

TINA:
Is this funk ever gonna go away?

I mean, it's spring.

It's supposed to be
a time of change, adventure.

- Hay fever.
- Taxes.

Hot spring flings where you
roll around in blooming flowers.

- Getting grass stains
everywhere.
- BOB: Hmm.

Well, you could be excited
about the school's spring fair.

Yeah, T, school fair equals
dunk Mr. Frond in the dunk tank.

- I guess there's that.
- Exactly.

The fair will get you
out of the "doll-drums."

Pretty sure
it's "doldrums," Lin.

No, "doll-drums."

Sad little dolls playing
with their sad little drums.

- Aw.
- Yup, right, never mind.

(groaning)

Man, Tina's losing a lot of air.

Do we still have her patch kit?

Tina, just imagine the look
on Mr. Frond's dumb face

when one of us
finally knocks him

into the dunk tank at the fair.

I mean, we've never
been able to do it,

so I feel like imagining it is
the closest we're gonna get?

Nuh-uh.
This is gonna be our year,

'cause this year,
we're gonna practice.

Practice?
That doesn't sound like us.

I found out the dunk tank is

getting delivered
to the school today.

So, for the next three days
at lunch recess,

I propose we sneak on over
to the dunk tank and practice.

I'll build some
upper body strength,

Tina's gonna tame
that wild arm of hers,

and Gene's gonna get a handle

on his possibly
too complicated windup.

It's less of a windup and more
of an interpretive dance.

And then on Friday, one of us
will finally dunk Mr. Frond,

into a pool of his own tears.

And mysteriously cloudy
tank water.

This week,
we're the Three Dunkateers.

Come on, dukes in.
Dunk our guidance counselor!

ALL:
Dunk our guidance counselor!

Actually, imagining all this

sort of is making me
feel better.

(splash)

(groans)

You guys go ahead.

I'll just live here.

"Red dress." Jocelyn?

Rojo... dress-o?

Vestido rojo.

That's what I said.

Jimmy Jr., how do we say
"green bicycle" in español?

Bicicleta verde?

Super.

"Orange scarf," Tina.

Tina... Tina!

Huh? Wh-What?

"Orange scarf."

Oh, sorry. Um, pass?

Bufanda naranja.

Yep, uh, that sounds right.

- Good job.
- (bell rings)

Adiós, estudiantes.

Tina, un momento, por favor.

I don't know what you said,

but you're looking at me
like I shouldn't go.

Now, I may have only received

my Spanish accreditation
last semester,

but I know a perro cuya cola
no se mueve when I see one.

A purple couch?

No, it means
a dog whose tail does not wag.

So what's up, amiga?

Do you ever just feel like
every day is the same

and nothing new ever happens?

Well, not since I joined the
Applesauce of the Month Club.

But, Tina, you've got
to get it together,

because your last couple
of quizzes have been caca, okay?

So I signed you up
for the language lab.

Wagstaff has a language lab?

Well, we have cassette tapes
on a shelf in the library

that someone donated
in the 1980s.

It's really more
of a language shelf.

Okay, so what do I have to do?

You'll practice
with the Spanish tape

this week
during after-lunch break.

Oh, man.

En español, please.

Oh, uh... oh, hombre.

Pass the weekly quiz
on Thursday,

and you'll get
your after-lunch break back.

Bueno. This is just bueno.

So, right after I eat,
I got to go to

the el stupido library
and work on Spanish.

So I guess you'll just
have to practice without me.

See? This is why I hate school.

It gets in the way
of really important things

like humiliating Mr. Frond
in the dunk tank.

Sorry, guys.

Ugh, but you're our best shot.

You at least throw hard,
with your raw pube power.

Raw pube power is
what got us to the moon.

Well, well, well, look who
we have here... the Belchers.

The school fair's coming up.

Please tell me you're gonna
waste all your tickets again

on trying to knock me
into the dunk tank.

It would make me so happy.

Not all our tickets.
I'll need three

for the snow cone booth,
minimum.

They're not gonna be wasted.
We're gonna waste you.

You're never getting this wet.

Ne-ver.

- Huh!
- Aah!

Mr. Ambrose,
can you tell me where...

- Shh!
- What?

Oh, sorry, that's just a reflex.

Okay, um, can you tell me
where the language lab shelf is?

Far corner, next to the window.

Okay, thank you, Mr. Am...

Oh, my God,
are we still talking?

(sighs)
Let's get this over with.

NARRATOR (on tape):
Welcome to "Pack Your Bags,"
Spain Edition.

Are you ready to pack your bags
and head to Spain?

This is a Spain in the butt.

Great. Now let's meet
your host family.

And try to respond in Spanish.

Meet Señor Balthazar.

- SEÑOR BALTHAZAR: Hola.
- Hola.

NARRATOR:
Now say hello to his wife,
Señora Balthazar.

- SEÑORA BALTHAZAR: Hola.
- Hola.

NARRATOR:
And meet their two children,
seven-year-old Maria...

- MARIA: Hola.
- TINA: Hola.

NARRATOR:
...and 15-year-old Rodrigo.

- RODRIGO: Hola.
- Hola, Rodrigo.

NARRATOR:
Your first practice conversatin
will be with Rodrigo.

Okay.

RODRIGO: Hola. Me llamo Rodrigo.

¿Como te llamas?

Hello. My name is Rodrigo.

What is your name?

Tina. I mean, me llamo Tina.

RODRIGO: ¿Cuantos años tienes?

How old are you?

I'm...
diez, once, doce, trece...

I'm trece años.

Just two little years
younger than you, Rodrigo.

RODRIGO:
Estoy emocionado que te estás
quedando con nosotros.

I am excited
that you're staying with us.

Um, estoy emocionado
to be staying with you, Rodrigo.

RODRIGO:
Vamos. Te mostraré la plaza
y te compraré una paleta.

Something about if I'm single?

Come. I will show you the
plaza and buy you a Popsicle.

Oh, just you and me? Okay.

Muchas gracias, Rodrigo.

- Hace calor. It is hot out.
- Yeah, it is.

Oops. Mi paleta se derritio
sobre mi camisa.

My Popsicle dripped
onto my shirt.

Sure did. And a little got
on your chest. Oh, wow.

Look, Rodrigo,
I mean, I know we just met

and you're just
a voice on a tape,

but you're feeling this,
too, right?

Vamos a caminar por la plaza.

Come, let's take a walk
around the plaza.

I'm so "plazzed" you asked.
(chuckles)

Rodrigo, you just turned
my blahs into ooh-la-las.

- That's French.
- Oh, right. (sighs)

That's so great
you guys finally get

to run a booth
at the school fair.

Who cares if it's just
the water booth?

I mean, I don't drink the stuff,
but I've heard good things.

Well, I'm gonna turn
the water booth

into "what a cool booth."

- And how are you gonna do that?
- Like this.

BOB: It says "rad."

- Oh, that's cool.
- Yeah.

- "Rockin'."
- Mm... (chuckles)

- Super very cool.
- This one says "skateboard."

Yeah, dude.

A kid can't drink water
out of that

- and not feel cool, huh?
- (Tina sighs)

Someone's feeling better.

Yeah, she's been cleaning
that one spot for, like,

- half an hour.
- (Tina humming a tune)

(yelps, resumes humming)

Tina, you snapped out
of your funk, huh?

Funk yeah, I did. (sighs)

(gasps)
Wait, I recognize that sigh.

You're having a spring fling.
Who is it?

(tape fast-forwarding)

(whispers): Popsicle.

No. (chuckles)
No spring fling for me.

Okay, Little Miss
Dreamy Droolin' Face.

There actually is
a little drool.

Me? Oh, her.

Well, whatever it is, I'm just
glad you're out of the dumps.

Uh, me, too, but maybe don't
do that with the broom?

It's just...
you know, get a room.

A broom room.

- To make boom-boom.
- Gene.

Hey, I know your name's Duncan,

but you're not gonna be
dunkin' this guy.

Okay.

Ugh. Frond.

Lunchtime. Come on.

Let's hit the slop line
and chow down real fast

so we can squeeze in a bit
of you-know-what practice.

- What?
- The dunk tank? Hello.

Right, yeah, dunking. Dunk tank.

Young lady,
are you huffing glue?

- No, it's just I already ate.
- You did?

Yeah, I packed a lunch and snuck
bites during social studies.

Tuna time.

(students sniffing, groaning)

So I could spend
the whole lunchtime

listening to that
totally dumb Spanish tape.

Cram today so I pass
the quiz tomorrow. (chuckles)

- Okay...
- But it's corn dog day.

That only happens once a week.

NARRATOR (on tape):
In lesson six,

Maria will teach you
how to play hopscotch.

¿Quieres jugar brinca-scotch?

- Nope.
- (tape fast-forwarding)

- And that's how you make flan.
- (singsongy): Rodrigo...

¿dónde está?

A picnic in the park? Sí.

¿Te gusta el pan con queso?

Me gusta cheese and bread.

And I think me gusta you,
Rodrigo.

Yo te enseñare como jugar
con el Frisbee.

I will show you how to play
with the Frisbee.

Oh, oh, okay.

Si lo liberas aquí,

se irá a la izquierda.

If you release it here,
it'll go left.

Izquierda, left, yep.
So, about what I was saying...

Si lo liberas aquí,
se irá a la derecha.

If you release it here,
it'll go right.

Derecha, right, got it.
Um, about how me gusta you...

Para que se vaya recto,
debes apuntar recto.

To go straight,
you must point straight.

Recto, straight, got it.

Look, I know I'm only
in España for the week,

but I feel like
we've really connected.

Iré a buscarlo.
I will go get it.

I hate to see you vamos,
but I love to watch you vamos.

(Gene grunting)

Ah... blammo!

(whimpers)

- Better. Better.
- I know, right?

Hey, do you think
Tina's acting kind of weird?

I mean, weirder than normal?

Yeah, she missed corn dog day.

I'm still trying to wrap
my head around that.

Maybe Mom was right.
Maybe it is new-boy related.

(gasps) And maybe that boy
is also studying

in the library at lunchtime.

Worst date ever.

Let's go see if Tina's
having a librar-affair.

Hmm.

Mr. Ambrose, have you seen our
sister Tina with a boy in here?

Being all teenager-y,
swapping hormones?

Ew, gross. No.

Tina studies alone
in the language lab.

- And where is the...
- Ugh!

Far corner, near the window.

(Tina chuckling)

TINA: Rodrigo, you.

Rodrigo?

I don't know how this works,

but I'm ready for a kiss,
un beso.

Maybe we could incorporate
that into the lesson?

Tu te acuerdas cómo
conjugar el verbo "caminar"?

Do you remember how to conjugate
the verb "to walk"?

- Are we doing this?
- LOUISE: Tina?

This is why you missed
our after-lunch

break time practice time?

Do you have the hots for a boy
on your language tape?

-No.
-Then why were you
a making a kissy-face

and saying all that stuff?

It's, uh, it's gonna be
on the test?

I can't believe
you're in love with the boy

- on your Spanish tape.
- I can. Rodrigo seems amazing.

And his mom's paella
sounds delicious.

Look, guys, I know
he's just a voice on a tape.

And I'm not in love
with Rodrigo.

We're just hanging out,
seeing where it goes.

Uh-huh. Sure. Super normal.

Tina, what's the plan here?
How does this end?

Are you gonna run off
with Rodrigo? I get your room.

No, it's just, I was in a funk
and now I'm not in a funk,

and that's 'cause of Rodrigo.

So I want to keep
being non-funky with Rodrigo.

Look, I'm glad you're feeling
better, and who cares

if it was some boy's voice
on a tape?

Velvety voice, I assume.

- Muy velvety.
- The point is, you're back.

After you pass
your Spanish quiz tomorrow,

then we can focus
on the Dunkateers.

(sighs)
I guess you're right. Dang it.

He said he was gonna
take me to the beach

in lesson ten tomorrow.

- But like, not really.
- I know.

It's just,
this language immersion

can be very immersiony.

Seems like Rodrigo
is a sloppy Popsicle eater, huh?

Oh, yeah. (chuckles)

LINDA: Hey.

I found your old baseball hat.

- Uh, yep, there it is.
- Put it on.

- Okay. Why?
- Put it on backwards.

- Um, no.
- Turn it, flip it, do it.

- Yeah, Bob, turn it backwards.
- It'll look cool.

I don't want to do it.
Stop pressuring me.

I-I'll do it with mine. See?

Oh. Still, huh?

- Yeah. Very cool.
- Super cool.

Hey, maybe you could,
I don't know,

- wear it like that
to the school fair.
- That's a great idea.

Lin, we don't need to try
and make our booth seem cool.

We just need
to give people water.

Besides, I-I don't think there
are cool booths at this thing.

Oh, really? There's a booth
that has goldfish.

You give them tickets
and you can win a goldfish.

A live goldfish.

- To eat?
- Whatever you want.

- So cool.
- Oh, my God.

GRANT: Buenos días,

estudiantes.

Buenos días, Señor Grant.

So, Tina, are you ready
for the quiz today?

La paella contiene azafrán?

"Does paella contain saffron?"
Yes, it does.

Someone's immersion course
is working.

And that someone is yo.

And good thing, too,
'cause Jacob Weber

needs that Spanish tape,
like, yesterday.

He's been out of school
with that broken tailbone

and now he's behind. Ha.

TINA: "Translate the following:

I saw a little
brown dog in the park."

"Vi un perrito moreno
en el parque." Aw, parque.

That's where Rodrigo taught me
my right from my left.

And how to feel alive again.

Oh, man, I don't know
if I'm ready

to say adiós to Rodrigo.

There's so much more
he can teach me.

And we almost got into
some serious beso-ing.

Ah! But as soon
as I pass this quiz,

Jacob Weber will move in
with la familia Baltazar.

Unless...

All right, it's the last day
for dunk tank practice

and we finally have all
Three Dunkateers. Shall we?

Actually, I can't.

I, um, flunked my Spanish quiz.

Got to stick with
the old language lab

during my lunchtimes.
(tongue clicks) Darn it.

- Seriously?
- (sighs) See for yourself.

But we've heard you, your
Spanish has gotten way better.

And so has your skin.
Are you exfoliating?

Hey, I'm as P.O.ed about this
as you guys.

- Ugh, it's the worst.
- You got, like,
every question wrong.

Hold on a sec.
You erased this answer

and wrote something else.

And this one, and this one.

Tina, did you purposely flunk
this quiz

-so you don't have to stop
listening to Rodrigo?
-(gasps)

What? No? (scoffs)

You're choosing Rodrigo

over the Three Dunkateers?

Ugh, I can't believe you.
Rodrigo is not real.

What are you gonna do, marry him
and have his not-real babies?

I don't want to be
a not-real uncle.

I'm not-real ready.

I know Rodrigo's not real.

But the way
he makes me feel is real.

It's not real. It's a tape.

From before you were born.

Well, it's more real
than our chance

of actually hitting
that dunk tank target.

- What did you just say?
- Uh-oh.

Face it, Louise, none of us
are good enough throwers

- to dunk Mr. Frond.
- (laughs): Wow. Okay.

Well, if that's the way
you feel,

maybe you shouldn't
go to the fair tomorrow.

Fine. Maybe I'll just stay
in the library during the fair

and Rodrigo and I can throw the
Frisbee at the frickin' playa.

Fine. Gene and I will dunk
Frond without you.

But we'll be the Two Dunkateers
because it wouldn't make sense

to be the Three Dunkateers
with only two people.

No, I totally get the need
for the name change!

Why don't you Rodri-go-on
and get out of here?

Okay, I will.

- Hermana, hermano.
- Ugh.

Are we really losing our sister
to some Frisbee-throwing,

Popsicle-eating boy
on a cassette?

Seems like it. We always knew
it would end this way.

Gene, we got to do something.

- How? She won't listen to us.
- Huh.

I've got an idea
how we can get through to Tina.

Slap her and say,
"Snap out of it"?

It works for Cher.

Water here. Get your water
from what some people

are calling the coolest booth
at the fair.

Bob, make sure all the cups
are facing out,

so the kids can see all
the cool words I wrote on them.

Mm-hmm, cups are facing out.

Well, we're bringing it.
Ball's in their court.

Hey, why aren't
you wearing the hat?

Oh, so I'm actually doing that?

Put it on.

Now put on
the fingerless gloves.

- I'm not doing that.
- (groans)

And you wouldn't let me
pierce your ear.

You got to work
with me here, Bob.

Peter Pescadero
didn't dunk me? Shocker.

Oh, you gonna
cry about it? Next.

Seth Feldman? Oh.

With those little twig arms,
you couldn't dunk a breadstick.

Mr. Frond has turned into
a real dunk punk.

Ugh, I want to dunk him so bad.

So, Tina should be
in the library by now.

Let's just hope our totally
slapped-together plan

does the trick.

Well, Rodrigo,
let's hit la playa.

¿Tienes tu traje de baño?

Do you have your bathing suit?

Traje de baño, sí.

Tus lentes de sol?
Your sunglasses?

Lentes de sol, sí.

Y tu aceite bronceador?
And your suntan oil?

Sí. Mucho, mucho
aceite bronceador.

LOUISE: In the next lesson,

look out the window
of the library...

- What the...?
- ...and notice your brother

and sister near the dunk tank.

How do you say,
"I bailed on my siblings

for a voice on a tape"
in Spanish?

What's Louise doing on here?
What did she do?

(sighs) Fast-forwarding.

Los plátanos se ven maduros.

- The bananas look ripe.
- Such ripe plátanos.

Y también las uvas.

- So do the grapes.
- Uvas.

Hey, Rodrigo, it's me,
your American friend.

I'm gonna hang out
with you guys all day.

Here, let me stand
in between you two and sing.

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la. ♪

Oh, come on. Fast-forwarding.

Más queso?

Sí, I'll take some more cheese.

- Oh, no, an alligator
- (Rodrigo screams)

is eating Rodrigo and he died.

- That's so sad.
- (yells)

Hey, sorry about Rodrigo,
but he lived a full life.

So healthy, lot of fruit.

So, look Tina,

uh, Gene wanted me
to tell you something,

and it's that he really, really
wants you to be at the fair.

Because even if somehow Gene
and I miraculously dunk Frond,

it won't matter 'cause
you weren't there to see it.

I don't know, it was
just something Gene said.

- You think it's working?
- Can't tell.

Should we give her
the finger or...?

LOUISE: Crap.

- FROND: Next.
- That's us.

All right,
these tickets represent

all the money
we have in the world.

And all the change we found
under Dad's seat in the car.

(laughs): Oh.

Well, the Belchers.

Can somebody hand me my phone?

I'm gonna read my e-mails,

'cause there's literally
no chance

of going in the water right now.

And I definitely have e-mails.

I sent you a recipe
for the ultimate cinnamon rolls.

- Gene, uh, you go first.
- Okay.

(wails)

(grunts) Ow.

Did I do it?

You know what?
I'm gonna do my taxes.

Mr. Branca, will you hand me
that manila folder?

It's okay,
we got lots of tickets,

and we've been practicing.

We just got to hit
that target once.

(both grunting)

♪ ♪

(laughs)

(both grunting)

Hey, at least you didn't use
up all your tickets.

Oh, wait, you did. Womp-womp.

We still have one ticket left.

Save it for a snow cone. Next.

Mind if I use that ticket?

- Tina.
- You're here.

Yeah, I realized
I'd rather be here

with my two real siblings
than on a playa

with one super-hot,
not totally real

but also sensitive
Spanish teenage boy.

- You sure you'd rather be here?
- I'm 90% sure.

Will one of you Belchers hurry
up and throw your turn away?

Come on, T.
You're our last hope.

I believe in you.
Just use your arm

- to throw the ball.
- (exhales)

Mr. Branca,
get me my new laptop.

- Mr. Frond, no.
- Get it.

- You got this.
- RODRIGO: Sí, es verdad.

Yes, it's true.
Your arm is wild,

like your heart.

Pero debes apuntar derecho
cuando lo sueltes.

You must point straight
when you release.

You might want to put your phone
somewhere dry, Mr. Frond.

- Is that so?
- (grunts)

(slow-motion): No!

(whoops)

Oh, no. Help!
My phone is drowning!

Yes, yes, yes! An adult is wet.

Why is this so satisfying?

Dukes in, Three Dunkateers.

Now let's eat snow cones
like champions.

- Aren't we out of tickets?
- That's what your
babysitting money's for.

Oh, I give up.

There's no way
to make the water booth cool.

Stupid water. I hate you.

No, there's not.
But maybe that's okay?

I mean, water's water.

It's better than cool?
We need it to live?

- All right, Planet Earth.
- Whoa.

Um, I think you're all
at the wrong booth?

We had chili at the chili booth
and it was so spicy.

Way too spicy. (shouts)

Let me have another one.

This water's so good.
It's so cold.

- (gasps) He said cool.
- He said "cold," but...

Yay, spicy chili. Bob, we win.

- We do?
- Look at all these kids.

Why does my cup
have a cigarette drawn on it?

- Linda.
- Here, here, never mind that.

Let me give you another one.
Yay, up top.

Oh, you want water.
Okay, here you go.

- TINA: Wow.
- Is there a waiting list

- to get a cup of water?
- Hi, kids.

Check us out.
We're the cool booth now.

Eh, let the woman have it.
Way to go, Mom!

Water here, get your
super cool water here.

(whoops)

- ♪ Popsicle ♪ - ♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ Running down your chest ♪

- ♪ Popsicle ♪ - ♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ Making such a mess ♪

- ♪ Popsicle ♪ - ♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ Should we take off
your shirt? ♪

- ♪ Popsicle ♪ - ♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ I mean, it couldn't hurt ♪

♪ Trying to focus
on this language lab ♪

♪ But all I can see
are those sticky Spanish abs ♪

♪ Our fruit market rendezvous,
I'll always savor ♪

♪ I still can't believe
that you were eaten ♪

♪ By an alligator. ♪

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.