Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 4, Episode 8 - Big Time Rides - full transcript
While James buys a motorcycle in another attempt to win Lucy's heart, Kendall teaches Jo how to drive cars with manual transmissions.
- I'm going to go make
- a corn dog.
- Don't move.
- Hey,
- can you sign my shirt for me
- That I'm definitely not selling
- on the web.
Both: Shh.
- Is he ready?
- Whoo!
Both: He's ready.
- Today I take my first medical
college admissions test
- and the first step to being
- a doctor.
- You're supposed to take
- that test
After four years of college,
not before you enter college.
- Yes, but..
You're never too young
to prepare for your future.
- Exactly,
and once I ace this test,
- they'll probably ask me to skip
- college and go right to surgery.
Now... things.
- Healthy snacks to keep
your brain at it's peak.
- Four juice boxes
with convenient caddy
to keep your brain hydrated.
- Kendall.
- And all our positive energy.
- Positive energy,
- positive energy,
- Positive energy,
- positive energy,
Positive energy...
- Okay,
- I need more positive energy.
Where's James?
- Positive energy,
- positive energy,
Posi...
- Lucy left
- for a European tour.
She really won't be mine.
- No. No "uh-ohs."
- Positive energy.
- Positive energy.
- Positive...
- ♪ Make it count,
play it straight ♪
- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪
- ♪ what you want,
- what you feel ♪
- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪
♪ If you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪
- Fine, I'll take the test
- without his energy.
- You're gonna fail.
- Rude, and I won't,
- because I have Carlos.
- Wait.
Why do I have to take the test?
- Don't question the smart one,
- okay?
- And my car needs a smog test,
- but first, drop me off
- at rocque records.
- You got it.
- Good luck with that.
- Thanks.
- Okay,
- we'll get started once everyone
Has their test
and answer sheets.
- Thank you.
- Why am I even here?
I don't like tests.
We don't get along.
See.
- Stop that.
Stop it.
Stop.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
- I'm leaving
- unless you tell me why
You need me next to you.
- I... i think you're
my good luck chum.
- Go on.
- It's true; Look, when you're
- next to me, good things happen.
When Debbie Crawford said yes
to the sixth grade dance,
you were next to me.
- When I scored my first
- pee-wee hockey goal,
You were next to me.
And yesterday by the pool...
Hey.
- Hey?
How about a chum hug?
- Whoa.
Oh!
- Oh,
- so you want another chum hug?
- No, no.
- I want you to sit there,
- be lucky, and take this test.
- No, I don't want to take
- this test.
- I want to go home
- and eat corn dogs.
- Okay, I am the smart one,
- so you should listen to me now
And take it.
- Remember, some questions
have multiple answers.
- And the medical exams begin...
- Now.
- So you want talk about...
- Lucy told pop tiger she's
- looking for a sensitive guy.
Um, hello?
- You are, but Lucy's on a tour
far, far away,
and you have to move on.
- Which is why I'm taking the
"is he a bad boyfriend?" Test.
- I'm not sure I'm following...
- Why can't I have a meaningful
- relationship like you and Jo?
Am I doing something wrong?
And perhaps the answers
are right here.
- Okay,
or we could go skateboarding.
- "You've had a tough day,
- and you're upset.
"Your boyfriend, 'a, '
- "takes you out for cocoa
- and tells you to let it out.
"Or, 'b, '
- talks about himself and checks
- his hair in his phone."
Well...
- "'A, '
- takes you out for cocoa."
- Mm-hmm.
- I think in order to take
- that test,
You have to be... honest.
- That wasn't honest?
- No, it's just that I had
- a really tough day, and...
- Is this story gonna take long?
- Oh.
- Oh, okay.
- Well, then, why don't you be a
- girl and take the test for me?
- I'm not taking
a boyfriend test.
- I don't know what's wrong
- with me,
- And I want a serious girlfriend,
- and your honesty will help.
Please.
- I can't believe
I'm doing this.
- Okay,
number two.
"On average, does your man think
of 'a, ' himself,
or 'b, ' you?"
- Himself.
- I'm telling you,
- I don't know who emailed you
- From the studio to come here,
- but it wasn't us.
- Well, then, who was it?
- It was me.
And welcome, volunteers,
to our new product testing lab.
What?
- Secretly, I've installed
- throughout rocque records
The latest products
from rcm/cbt/globannet/sanyoid
- ready for you testing
- and approval.
- But we didn't volunteer
- for this.
- Then volunteer.
Because I want people
that won't sue us
as we test the latest products
for today's finicky tweens,
- the modern working woman,
- and anyone who wants to lose
20% of their body size.
- Wait, who are you looking at?
- I'm asking who wants to be
the first one to test
sanyoid's multipurpose
massage chair.
- 7 hidden
- surround sound speakers,
27 massage settings to roll
the day's tension away,
- and neural enhancers
- that stimulate the mind's monads
To keep you at peak performance.
- Forget it,
- 'cause no one wants to test
Your stupid massage chair.
- But Katie's already sitting
- in it.
- Okay.
I could get used to this.
- Okay, out.
I want to test it.
- ♪ Picture this, first kiss
beneath the moonlight ♪
- Ahh!
- Make a note that the
neural enhancers shock people.
- Well, for those of you who
- waited for your test results,
Many of you did great,
some of you not so great,
and one of you
got every answer correct.
- And that would be...
- What?
- A 38.
- Yeah, you're not ready
for medical school yet.
And you...
- Okay,
I'm took the pencils.
I'm so sorry.
They're just so yellow.
- You scored 100%.
- What?
- What?
- Yeah, it's amazing.
- Tell me, does your friend wear
- that helmet
To protect his massive brain?
- Come on.
- It's the last one.
- No.
- I don't want to answer it.
- Hey, you're Mr. Honest.
Now, "it's your biggest
gymnastics meet of the year,
"and your boyfriend is 'a, '
"in the front row
with your parents, or 'b, '
- "shows up late,
- because he stopped at the mall
To buy a new shirt."
- New shirt.
- What?
- James, a pop tiger test
- is not going to answer
- Whether you're a good boyfriend
- or not.
You're a great guy.
- Really,
- 'cause according to this,
We shouldn't even be going out.
- Um, we're not going out.
- Oh, oh, just because I'm so
- terrible to be around, huh?
Yeah, thanks.
- Okay,
- maybe this was a mistake.
- Really, this whole thing
- since kindergarten
Was a mistake.
- Uh...
- No, no, no, no.
- Have it your way,
- 'cause I'm out of here.
- What was that all about?
- I think James and I just broke
- up.
- Oh,
- that is disgusting.
- No, that's rcm food's new
power juice in that juice box
made with vitamins, minerals,
and tiny chunks of fish.
We should improve the flavor.
- Globalnet's new auto bright
- light switches
Save time and energy.
- Ahh!
My... my eyes!
- Hmm, too bright.
- Sanyoid's new 4-d tvs
are so real,
you will jump out of your seat.
- Ah! Bats!
- Bats!
- Get them away from me!
They're everywhere!
Ahh!
- Bring down the realness
down 30%.
- Ahh!
Griffin.
- We are done testing
your products.
- Your products are bad.
Test over, and you can't keep us
here against our will.
- No, but the rcm remote
family security
home control system can.
It keeps unwanted intruders out
and unruly teenagers in.
And you're not going anywhere
until we finish our tests.
Ahh.
- Oh.
Oh, honey,
did you do badly on the test?
- I did terrible.
- Okay, okay, well,
it was your first try,
- and it's the hardest test
- in the world.
- Oh.
- Oh, really?
- Okay, well, then,
- how come Carlos aced it?
- Come again.
- 'Sup, mama knight?
I'm gonna be a doctor.
- I'm the smart one.
Okay, so you hit a bump
in the road,
- but sitting on the couch
- depressed
Is never the answer.
- Depression, huh.
Hmm, take two corn dogs,
and call me in the morning.
- Corn dogs are not the answer
- to everything.
- Oh, trust me, it is.
And who's the smart one?
Me.
Nurse,
send in my next patient.
- I'm not a nurse,
- and you don't have a patient.
- Then I'll go find
my next patient.
- Don't actually touch anyone.
- Got it.
- What am I gonna do,
- Mrs. Knight?
My future doctor dream is dashed
oh, and...
Carlos is smarter than me.
- Here's what you're gonna do.
- You're gonna pick yourself up.
And you're pick another
exciting future for yourself,
like an airline pilot
or a politician or a lawyer...
- A stunt man.
- No, that wasn't on my list.
- But it would be exciting.
- All you've got to do is break
- a few plates over your head
And fall from the sky
and stuff.
- No, there will be no
- breaking plates or falling
In this apartment.
- Okay, well, then I will
practice my career elsewhere.
- So... bombed your test
- and looking for
An exciting fall-back career?
- I'm rethinking stuntman.
- Oh, I always wanted to be
a stunt man.
- You stay a janitor.
- You... the palm woods is offering
- a manager trainee program.
It's the ultimate job
when your dreams fail.
- Never.
- I'm smarter than Logan.
And here are two frozen corn
dogs to stop the swelling.
- Corn dogs are not the answer.
- Okay, everybody,
stop falling on my desk.
- Oh, there you are.
I've got some of your things.
Here's your hockey magazine
that I borrowed,
- your dress shoes,
- which I polished,
- Oh, and your snap-tight
- rescue ranger fire truck.
- The wheel was missing
- when I borrowed it.
- Okay,
it was a boyfriend test,
which we are not.
We are best friends.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Then you won't mind taking
last month's
"are you really besties?" Test?
- I'm leaving.
- Best friends don't leave
- best friends.
Hit me.
- "Do you know your besties
- favorite color?"
- Purple.
- Correct.
- "Have you been on campouts
- or vacations together?"
- We live in the same apartment.
- I'll count that as a yes.
- "What is
- your b-f-f's birthday?"
- September 3rd?
- Eh!
4th.
"Where did you meet your b-f-f?"
- Kindergarten?
- Danny craven's
- fifth birthday party.
- Bald eagle?
- Eh!
- Cream rinse and conditioner?
Apples...
No, grapes.
- More purple-y stuff.
Chewbacca.
Three... nine.
- No.
- Wrong.
- Eh!
- No.
Wrong again.
- So how'd I do...
Best friend?
- You scored an "a,"
as in a person
who is no longer my bestie.
- It's no use.
- We're trapped.
Trapped in our own studio.
- And we're surrounded
- by Griffin's crazy tests.
- And they could be anywhere.
- Actually,
there's only two tests left.
One, rcm's innovative wall
conferencing system,
which works great.
And two, this thing.
Now, who wants to try it?
- Sweetie,
- you don't have to decide
On your future career today.
Please.
- So far today I've failed
- at stuntman,
Books on tape narrator,
pet psychic, and now chef,
which I thought would be like
a doctor in the kitchen.
I'm calling it.
Time of death:
Now.
- You and me are a lot alike,
- Logan.
- Please don't say that.
- We both failed
at our dream jobs.
- You'll never be a stuntman.
- Don't you crush my dreams.
- Look, life doesn't always turn
- out the way you'd like it to.
Like, how you failed
the biggest test of your life,
and...
I'm coming down with a cold.
- Huh.
Hmm, yep, you do sound warm.
You know what you need?
A corn dog.
- Oh, come on.
- Corn dogs are not the answer.
- I do feel better.
- Oh, he's feels better.
You failed.
I passed.
Smart one.
- You know,
maybe you'd feel better
if you had a solid future
like Carlos.
- Don't be too nice
- to the residents.
They will walk all over you.
- Hey, can I get a new key card?
- Ahh!
- You're a natural.
- Take two of these,
and you'll feel better.
- Okay, so I failed
the best friend test.
But you would have too.
What's my favorite color?
- Blue.
- Your favorite food
- is veggie pizza.
- If you could own any animal
- in the world,
It would be the occelot.
- The nectarine
- is your favorite fruit.
- Your first crush was Elin fekete
- because of her cute laugh,
- And, oh,
- do I know your biggest secret,
And I'd tell you,
- but I swore that I'd speak
- those words out loud.
- Okay, that's good.
But this is not about me.
- It's about you and how a girl
- that you had
A big crush on left.
- And you want to take a test
- to deal with it,
We'll take a test.
- What magazine?
- Best friends illustrated.
True or false:
James diamond is amazing
- and never feels sorry
- for himself.
- True.
True or false:
Lucy stone was also amazing
- but is not the only amazing girl
- in the world.
True.
- When James diamond
- is in the crib,
And there is a pool full
of amazing girls
just downstairs, he "a,"
fights with his best friend
over pop tiger tests, or "b,"
runs down there
and gets his pool on.
- "B," pool on!
Look, out ladies.
James diamond is back.
Ha-ha-ha!
- So are you and James
- are back together?
- Yep.
- Okay, we are not testing
- that thing
Till you tell us what it does.
- The weight-i-ator is
- an internal cell accelerator
That vibrates excess weight
at such hyper speeds,
it reduces your body size
up to 20% instantly.
Now, who's first?
- Come on.
- It's revolutionary.
- And nobody leaves
until we test it?
- That's right.
- Then let's test it.
Great.
Full power.
Three, two...
Now!
Yes, the weight-i-ator
is a huge success.
- So we can go now.
- Sure.
- You might want to get
working on a "reverse" setting.
- Duly noted.
Both: Move out.
- Okay, what is going on?
- Well, I'm over Lucy leaving.
- And James and I
are besties forever.
- But Logan bombed
- his medical test,
And Carlos is a doctor.
- Oh.
- Hello, I hope you're having
- a palm woods day.
How can I help you?
- Look, I'm prescribing you
- to take off that jacket
And try and be a doctor again.
- No, you're the smart one.
You're the doctor now.
- Dr. Carlos,
- I still a bit achy.
- Did he just prescribe a...
Yep.
- Carlos,
- for the last time,
- Corn dogs are not the answer
- to everything.
- Yes, it is.
- What?
You guessed on the entire test?
- Are you serious.
- Well, I mean,
he always did say
that I was the lucky one.
And you still get to be
the smart one.
- And you'll just study harder
and take the test again.
- Yeah, well, maybe I'm not
cut out to be a doctor?
- Well, I know I'm not.
- Yeah, I mean, bitters is red
- in the face
- And holding his throat, and he
- has no idea what that means.
Oh! He's choking.
- He's choking.
- He's actually choking.
- Is there a doctor
- in the house?
- Okay, everyone, stand back.
- Oh.
- Oh!
- Are you okay?
- You saved my life.
Thank you.
- And I am taking you out of that
- training program,
- So you can continue studying
- for that test.
- I guess I did kind of
spring into action
- it was spring-tastic.
- I guess saving people
is in my blood.
- And I'll be there
right by your side.
- Great.
- Great?
Doncha mean chum hug!
All:
Don't be a stuntman.
- Fine.
- ♪ Step it up,
- get in gear ♪
- ♪ go for broke,
- make it clear ♪
- ♪ make it work,
get it right ♪
♪ Go and make your luck
with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪
- a corn dog.
- Don't move.
- Hey,
- can you sign my shirt for me
- That I'm definitely not selling
- on the web.
Both: Shh.
- Is he ready?
- Whoo!
Both: He's ready.
- Today I take my first medical
college admissions test
- and the first step to being
- a doctor.
- You're supposed to take
- that test
After four years of college,
not before you enter college.
- Yes, but..
You're never too young
to prepare for your future.
- Exactly,
and once I ace this test,
- they'll probably ask me to skip
- college and go right to surgery.
Now... things.
- Healthy snacks to keep
your brain at it's peak.
- Four juice boxes
with convenient caddy
to keep your brain hydrated.
- Kendall.
- And all our positive energy.
- Positive energy,
- positive energy,
- Positive energy,
- positive energy,
Positive energy...
- Okay,
- I need more positive energy.
Where's James?
- Positive energy,
- positive energy,
Posi...
- Lucy left
- for a European tour.
She really won't be mine.
- No. No "uh-ohs."
- Positive energy.
- Positive energy.
- Positive...
- ♪ Make it count,
play it straight ♪
- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪
- ♪ what you want,
- what you feel ♪
- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪
♪ If you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪
- Fine, I'll take the test
- without his energy.
- You're gonna fail.
- Rude, and I won't,
- because I have Carlos.
- Wait.
Why do I have to take the test?
- Don't question the smart one,
- okay?
- And my car needs a smog test,
- but first, drop me off
- at rocque records.
- You got it.
- Good luck with that.
- Thanks.
- Okay,
- we'll get started once everyone
Has their test
and answer sheets.
- Thank you.
- Why am I even here?
I don't like tests.
We don't get along.
See.
- Stop that.
Stop it.
Stop.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
- I'm leaving
- unless you tell me why
You need me next to you.
- I... i think you're
my good luck chum.
- Go on.
- It's true; Look, when you're
- next to me, good things happen.
When Debbie Crawford said yes
to the sixth grade dance,
you were next to me.
- When I scored my first
- pee-wee hockey goal,
You were next to me.
And yesterday by the pool...
Hey.
- Hey?
How about a chum hug?
- Whoa.
Oh!
- Oh,
- so you want another chum hug?
- No, no.
- I want you to sit there,
- be lucky, and take this test.
- No, I don't want to take
- this test.
- I want to go home
- and eat corn dogs.
- Okay, I am the smart one,
- so you should listen to me now
And take it.
- Remember, some questions
have multiple answers.
- And the medical exams begin...
- Now.
- So you want talk about...
- Lucy told pop tiger she's
- looking for a sensitive guy.
Um, hello?
- You are, but Lucy's on a tour
far, far away,
and you have to move on.
- Which is why I'm taking the
"is he a bad boyfriend?" Test.
- I'm not sure I'm following...
- Why can't I have a meaningful
- relationship like you and Jo?
Am I doing something wrong?
And perhaps the answers
are right here.
- Okay,
or we could go skateboarding.
- "You've had a tough day,
- and you're upset.
"Your boyfriend, 'a, '
- "takes you out for cocoa
- and tells you to let it out.
"Or, 'b, '
- talks about himself and checks
- his hair in his phone."
Well...
- "'A, '
- takes you out for cocoa."
- Mm-hmm.
- I think in order to take
- that test,
You have to be... honest.
- That wasn't honest?
- No, it's just that I had
- a really tough day, and...
- Is this story gonna take long?
- Oh.
- Oh, okay.
- Well, then, why don't you be a
- girl and take the test for me?
- I'm not taking
a boyfriend test.
- I don't know what's wrong
- with me,
- And I want a serious girlfriend,
- and your honesty will help.
Please.
- I can't believe
I'm doing this.
- Okay,
number two.
"On average, does your man think
of 'a, ' himself,
or 'b, ' you?"
- Himself.
- I'm telling you,
- I don't know who emailed you
- From the studio to come here,
- but it wasn't us.
- Well, then, who was it?
- It was me.
And welcome, volunteers,
to our new product testing lab.
What?
- Secretly, I've installed
- throughout rocque records
The latest products
from rcm/cbt/globannet/sanyoid
- ready for you testing
- and approval.
- But we didn't volunteer
- for this.
- Then volunteer.
Because I want people
that won't sue us
as we test the latest products
for today's finicky tweens,
- the modern working woman,
- and anyone who wants to lose
20% of their body size.
- Wait, who are you looking at?
- I'm asking who wants to be
the first one to test
sanyoid's multipurpose
massage chair.
- 7 hidden
- surround sound speakers,
27 massage settings to roll
the day's tension away,
- and neural enhancers
- that stimulate the mind's monads
To keep you at peak performance.
- Forget it,
- 'cause no one wants to test
Your stupid massage chair.
- But Katie's already sitting
- in it.
- Okay.
I could get used to this.
- Okay, out.
I want to test it.
- ♪ Picture this, first kiss
beneath the moonlight ♪
- Ahh!
- Make a note that the
neural enhancers shock people.
- Well, for those of you who
- waited for your test results,
Many of you did great,
some of you not so great,
and one of you
got every answer correct.
- And that would be...
- What?
- A 38.
- Yeah, you're not ready
for medical school yet.
And you...
- Okay,
I'm took the pencils.
I'm so sorry.
They're just so yellow.
- You scored 100%.
- What?
- What?
- Yeah, it's amazing.
- Tell me, does your friend wear
- that helmet
To protect his massive brain?
- Come on.
- It's the last one.
- No.
- I don't want to answer it.
- Hey, you're Mr. Honest.
Now, "it's your biggest
gymnastics meet of the year,
"and your boyfriend is 'a, '
"in the front row
with your parents, or 'b, '
- "shows up late,
- because he stopped at the mall
To buy a new shirt."
- New shirt.
- What?
- James, a pop tiger test
- is not going to answer
- Whether you're a good boyfriend
- or not.
You're a great guy.
- Really,
- 'cause according to this,
We shouldn't even be going out.
- Um, we're not going out.
- Oh, oh, just because I'm so
- terrible to be around, huh?
Yeah, thanks.
- Okay,
- maybe this was a mistake.
- Really, this whole thing
- since kindergarten
Was a mistake.
- Uh...
- No, no, no, no.
- Have it your way,
- 'cause I'm out of here.
- What was that all about?
- I think James and I just broke
- up.
- Oh,
- that is disgusting.
- No, that's rcm food's new
power juice in that juice box
made with vitamins, minerals,
and tiny chunks of fish.
We should improve the flavor.
- Globalnet's new auto bright
- light switches
Save time and energy.
- Ahh!
My... my eyes!
- Hmm, too bright.
- Sanyoid's new 4-d tvs
are so real,
you will jump out of your seat.
- Ah! Bats!
- Bats!
- Get them away from me!
They're everywhere!
Ahh!
- Bring down the realness
down 30%.
- Ahh!
Griffin.
- We are done testing
your products.
- Your products are bad.
Test over, and you can't keep us
here against our will.
- No, but the rcm remote
family security
home control system can.
It keeps unwanted intruders out
and unruly teenagers in.
And you're not going anywhere
until we finish our tests.
Ahh.
- Oh.
Oh, honey,
did you do badly on the test?
- I did terrible.
- Okay, okay, well,
it was your first try,
- and it's the hardest test
- in the world.
- Oh.
- Oh, really?
- Okay, well, then,
- how come Carlos aced it?
- Come again.
- 'Sup, mama knight?
I'm gonna be a doctor.
- I'm the smart one.
Okay, so you hit a bump
in the road,
- but sitting on the couch
- depressed
Is never the answer.
- Depression, huh.
Hmm, take two corn dogs,
and call me in the morning.
- Corn dogs are not the answer
- to everything.
- Oh, trust me, it is.
And who's the smart one?
Me.
Nurse,
send in my next patient.
- I'm not a nurse,
- and you don't have a patient.
- Then I'll go find
my next patient.
- Don't actually touch anyone.
- Got it.
- What am I gonna do,
- Mrs. Knight?
My future doctor dream is dashed
oh, and...
Carlos is smarter than me.
- Here's what you're gonna do.
- You're gonna pick yourself up.
And you're pick another
exciting future for yourself,
like an airline pilot
or a politician or a lawyer...
- A stunt man.
- No, that wasn't on my list.
- But it would be exciting.
- All you've got to do is break
- a few plates over your head
And fall from the sky
and stuff.
- No, there will be no
- breaking plates or falling
In this apartment.
- Okay, well, then I will
practice my career elsewhere.
- So... bombed your test
- and looking for
An exciting fall-back career?
- I'm rethinking stuntman.
- Oh, I always wanted to be
a stunt man.
- You stay a janitor.
- You... the palm woods is offering
- a manager trainee program.
It's the ultimate job
when your dreams fail.
- Never.
- I'm smarter than Logan.
And here are two frozen corn
dogs to stop the swelling.
- Corn dogs are not the answer.
- Okay, everybody,
stop falling on my desk.
- Oh, there you are.
I've got some of your things.
Here's your hockey magazine
that I borrowed,
- your dress shoes,
- which I polished,
- Oh, and your snap-tight
- rescue ranger fire truck.
- The wheel was missing
- when I borrowed it.
- Okay,
it was a boyfriend test,
which we are not.
We are best friends.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Then you won't mind taking
last month's
"are you really besties?" Test?
- I'm leaving.
- Best friends don't leave
- best friends.
Hit me.
- "Do you know your besties
- favorite color?"
- Purple.
- Correct.
- "Have you been on campouts
- or vacations together?"
- We live in the same apartment.
- I'll count that as a yes.
- "What is
- your b-f-f's birthday?"
- September 3rd?
- Eh!
4th.
"Where did you meet your b-f-f?"
- Kindergarten?
- Danny craven's
- fifth birthday party.
- Bald eagle?
- Eh!
- Cream rinse and conditioner?
Apples...
No, grapes.
- More purple-y stuff.
Chewbacca.
Three... nine.
- No.
- Wrong.
- Eh!
- No.
Wrong again.
- So how'd I do...
Best friend?
- You scored an "a,"
as in a person
who is no longer my bestie.
- It's no use.
- We're trapped.
Trapped in our own studio.
- And we're surrounded
- by Griffin's crazy tests.
- And they could be anywhere.
- Actually,
there's only two tests left.
One, rcm's innovative wall
conferencing system,
which works great.
And two, this thing.
Now, who wants to try it?
- Sweetie,
- you don't have to decide
On your future career today.
Please.
- So far today I've failed
- at stuntman,
Books on tape narrator,
pet psychic, and now chef,
which I thought would be like
a doctor in the kitchen.
I'm calling it.
Time of death:
Now.
- You and me are a lot alike,
- Logan.
- Please don't say that.
- We both failed
at our dream jobs.
- You'll never be a stuntman.
- Don't you crush my dreams.
- Look, life doesn't always turn
- out the way you'd like it to.
Like, how you failed
the biggest test of your life,
and...
I'm coming down with a cold.
- Huh.
Hmm, yep, you do sound warm.
You know what you need?
A corn dog.
- Oh, come on.
- Corn dogs are not the answer.
- I do feel better.
- Oh, he's feels better.
You failed.
I passed.
Smart one.
- You know,
maybe you'd feel better
if you had a solid future
like Carlos.
- Don't be too nice
- to the residents.
They will walk all over you.
- Hey, can I get a new key card?
- Ahh!
- You're a natural.
- Take two of these,
and you'll feel better.
- Okay, so I failed
the best friend test.
But you would have too.
What's my favorite color?
- Blue.
- Your favorite food
- is veggie pizza.
- If you could own any animal
- in the world,
It would be the occelot.
- The nectarine
- is your favorite fruit.
- Your first crush was Elin fekete
- because of her cute laugh,
- And, oh,
- do I know your biggest secret,
And I'd tell you,
- but I swore that I'd speak
- those words out loud.
- Okay, that's good.
But this is not about me.
- It's about you and how a girl
- that you had
A big crush on left.
- And you want to take a test
- to deal with it,
We'll take a test.
- What magazine?
- Best friends illustrated.
True or false:
James diamond is amazing
- and never feels sorry
- for himself.
- True.
True or false:
Lucy stone was also amazing
- but is not the only amazing girl
- in the world.
True.
- When James diamond
- is in the crib,
And there is a pool full
of amazing girls
just downstairs, he "a,"
fights with his best friend
over pop tiger tests, or "b,"
runs down there
and gets his pool on.
- "B," pool on!
Look, out ladies.
James diamond is back.
Ha-ha-ha!
- So are you and James
- are back together?
- Yep.
- Okay, we are not testing
- that thing
Till you tell us what it does.
- The weight-i-ator is
- an internal cell accelerator
That vibrates excess weight
at such hyper speeds,
it reduces your body size
up to 20% instantly.
Now, who's first?
- Come on.
- It's revolutionary.
- And nobody leaves
until we test it?
- That's right.
- Then let's test it.
Great.
Full power.
Three, two...
Now!
Yes, the weight-i-ator
is a huge success.
- So we can go now.
- Sure.
- You might want to get
working on a "reverse" setting.
- Duly noted.
Both: Move out.
- Okay, what is going on?
- Well, I'm over Lucy leaving.
- And James and I
are besties forever.
- But Logan bombed
- his medical test,
And Carlos is a doctor.
- Oh.
- Hello, I hope you're having
- a palm woods day.
How can I help you?
- Look, I'm prescribing you
- to take off that jacket
And try and be a doctor again.
- No, you're the smart one.
You're the doctor now.
- Dr. Carlos,
- I still a bit achy.
- Did he just prescribe a...
Yep.
- Carlos,
- for the last time,
- Corn dogs are not the answer
- to everything.
- Yes, it is.
- What?
You guessed on the entire test?
- Are you serious.
- Well, I mean,
he always did say
that I was the lucky one.
And you still get to be
the smart one.
- And you'll just study harder
and take the test again.
- Yeah, well, maybe I'm not
cut out to be a doctor?
- Well, I know I'm not.
- Yeah, I mean, bitters is red
- in the face
- And holding his throat, and he
- has no idea what that means.
Oh! He's choking.
- He's choking.
- He's actually choking.
- Is there a doctor
- in the house?
- Okay, everyone, stand back.
- Oh.
- Oh!
- Are you okay?
- You saved my life.
Thank you.
- And I am taking you out of that
- training program,
- So you can continue studying
- for that test.
- I guess I did kind of
spring into action
- it was spring-tastic.
- I guess saving people
is in my blood.
- And I'll be there
right by your side.
- Great.
- Great?
Doncha mean chum hug!
All:
Don't be a stuntman.
- Fine.
- ♪ Step it up,
- get in gear ♪
- ♪ go for broke,
- make it clear ♪
- ♪ make it work,
get it right ♪
♪ Go and make your luck
with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪