Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 4, Episode 7 - Big Time Pranks 2 - full transcript

Kendall and Katie announce the return of Lord Prankerton's Day of Pranks, but Jennifer objects. The kids pull all the pranks while the adults clean up their messes. No more. Kendall amends the day to be kids versus adults, and if the adults win, they can abolish The Day of Pranks forever. Game on.

- Don't eat the cereal
- out of the box.

- It's soy milk.

Whoa.

Cool motorcycle for sale.

- The good boy in me says,
- "look away,"

But the bad boy in me says,

"hello."

- You know what?

I bet if we all pitched in,

we could buy it

and have the big-time ride



of our lives.

- Are you out of your mind?

If I ever see any of you

even think about getting

a motorcycle, I will...

- ♪ Make it count,
- play it straight ♪

- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪

- ♪ what you want,
- what you feel ♪

- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪

♪ If you want it all,

lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ♪

- Ah!



- And the mama's boy in me says,

"run!"

- And you...

Put the helmet back.

- James?

Did you get a motorcycle?

- I, uh...

- I love motorcycles.

And that is one killer bike.

- Yep.

It's my hog.

- Huh.

I never pegged you

for the biker type.

- I guess there is more to
- James diamond than I thought.

Oh, yeah.

We are gonna buy

the cool motorcycle.

- Sorry, b.B.

You guys are too late.

Hi, this is James diamond.

Yes, I'd like to buy your hog.

- Okay, mom said for us to put

all the groceries away.

And then...

You will pay for that!

- Hey.
- I need your help.

- Anything you want,
- you got it.

- I need you to teach me
- how to drive a stick shift

For my role in

the Danica Patrick movie.

- I play a young Danica
- before she does bad commercials.

- Oh.
- Cool.

- No.
- Why not?

- Because every time we try

and teach each other something,

we end up fighting.

A lot.

- No, we don't.

- Ow!
- It's just over and under.

- This is so stupid.
- Over and under!

- Men aren't supposed
- to braid hair anyway!

- Ow!

- Well, that's not gonna happen
- this time because...

It won't.

- Besides, the only car I know
- that has a stick shift

Is Gustavo's.

- And if we so much as get
- a scratch on it,

He would kill me.

- Well, I want to do this
- race car movie

- Because I'm sick of doing
- zombie movies,

And you're my boyfriend!

- I won't do it.

- Hey,
- did you overnight rush ship

A huge package from Minnesota?

- No!

- Well, according to this,

you signed and paid $938

for it.

- McConaughey!

An old red wagon?

Who did this?

- Both:
- Wagonie!

- Wait... did you guys forge
- Gustavo's signature

- And use the studio's
- shipping number for this stuff?

- No.
- Yes.

- What?

- Logan's mom said that she was
- gonna throw his old wagon out,

- And I said that that was like
- throwing out

Our greatest memories.

- Ooh, like that one time we
- broke our arms

On broken arm hill.

- And the one time that we both
- got mild concussions

On mild concussion curve.

- Yeah, and don't forget what
- happened on butt-chapped...

- we get it.

- And we're gonna restore

this once-proud monster

of the midwest

and take it for one more

glorious ride.

Whoo.

- Wrong!

- Because you're not
- in fifth grade anymore.

You're in a huge pop band.

- Now get this red piece of junk
- out of my studio,

Warm up your voices,

and get in the booth!

- We want to fix up wagonie.

- Out!

- Okay.

- Oh, tell me you didn't buy
- that motorcycle.

- Lucy's into it.

- Super bad idea.

Mom is ballistic about

motorcycles,

and this is gonna end

so badly.

I literally can't even imagine

how badly this is gonna end.

- No. This is gonna end with

Lucy giving me bike kisses.

Hide.

- Wow.

That is some suit.

- Yeah, well,

this is some bike.

- Hey, we should go for a ride
- sometime.

- How about when I get back?

- Seriously you will?

I mean, uh...

Cool.

I'll be back around 2:00.

- Starting a relationship with
- lies is never a good idea.

- No lies.
- Pre-truths.

- Pre-what?

- I told Lucy the bike was mine,
- when it wasn't,

Then I bought it.

Pre-truth.

- And what about that going
- for a ride lie,

- Because you've never ridden
- a motorcycle.

Because we have two hours

to learn.

- Keep the bike balanced

while placing the kickstand

in the ride position.

- Whoa!

- Ignition.

- Doesn't the car need to be on?

- No, because we are going

to practice

- using the stick shift so you get
- a feel for the gears

And so you don't get a scratch

on Gustavo's car.

- Well, aren't you the smart

driving instructor.

- Okay, so first,

second,

third,

fourth,

and up and over for reverse.

- I like this driving lesson.

We get to hold hands

and not one fight.

- We make a great couple.

Use the clutch, not the brake!

- I am using the clutch!
- Now the brake!

- I also stole Gustavo's car
- for you!

- Stop yelling!
- Don't rev the engine.

- You know what?
- Just go forward.

- Do you care about me

or Gustavo's car?

- Kelly!

Have you seen my keys?

- I'm afraid to go in there.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo.

Cool noise, right?

- What is this?

- It's a wagonie restoring
- super shop.

- I said no wagons!

- Gustavo,

as Logan and I

face the responsibility

and maturity of adulthood,

we've decided we don't want to.

- This is more than a red wagon.

It's a...

A time machine

- to take us back to the year
- 2000-and-fun.

Whoo!

- Okay, tell me the studio
- didn't pay for all of this too.

- It didn't.

- But it did.

- Well, if rocque records paid

for all of this,

then Gustavo rocque owns that,

and I'm taking it away.

- But...

- come on, really?

- Careful.

Well, there she goes.

- The last piece of our innocent

yet dangerous childhood.

- Now to second.
- You're doing it again.

Yelling at me doesn't help.

You yell at me all the time.

You're gonna make me crash!

We are a terrible couple.

- No, we're not.

We just, you know, fight

a lot.

- Well, it hasn't been
- a smooth ride lately,

And we're kind of stalled.

- And maybe we're feeling...

Neutral about things.

- So should we break up?

- I don't know.

Should we break up?

- But don't you feel like

- sometimes we're
- moving backwards?

- We're not moving backwards.

We're just...

We're moving backwards.

We're moving backwards.

- The wheel is locked.

- Start the car.
- Start the car.

Start the car.

- I'm trying to start the car.

Where is the emergency brake?

- You're gonna hit a pole!

- We're gonna scratch
- Gustavo's car!

Pull the brake up!

- I'm trying to brake up!

- We got to brake up!

I think we just broke up.

- How to brake.

- Think I'm getting

the hang of it.

- So I've been trying to imagine
- how this thing ends,

And here's what I got.

- Lucy gets on the bike,
- you admit you can't ride,

- She laughs,
- doesn't kiss you,

- And then my mom kills you
- for buying a motorcycle.

- Or you actually go for a ride,
- you crash,

She slaps you for lying,

- while on the ground badgers
- arrive and eat your jacket,

And then my mom kills you

for buying a motorcycle.

- Not lying,
- pre-truths,

- Because I still have time
- to learn.

- Wrong again, because it's been
- two hours,

And here comes Lucy.

- Wait. What?

- Hey.

I'm ready for that ride.

- Hey.

Yeah, about that ride...

- Let's go.

- Okay.

Let's go!

- Well, are we going or not?

- Uh, yeah...

Yeah... no, we're going.

I just... i need to check

the thing and, uh...

- James!

Those motorcycle parts

you ordered just came.

You know, the ones

to bore the heads

and increase the air fuel mix

for Max hog power?

- Oh, right!

Those parts.

- Oh.

What's going on?

- Sorry, lady leather,

but you know us bikers...

Always customizing.

- So I suggest you wait
- on that ride.

So instead of 3.7 seconds,

I can take you from zero

to thrill in 1.5.

- A man who's good with tools.

Okay, Mr. Diamond.

I will wait for that ride.

- Whoo! Good thing I ordered
- those parts.

- It's empty, genius.

- Right.

Hey, thanks for saving me.

- I didn't save you.
- I saved her.

- And everyone else out there
- from you.

And I figured out how

this is gonna end.

- You tell Lucy you had to sell
- the bike

Because mom would kill you

if she found out

you bought a motorcycle.

- Fine.
- I'll sell the bike.

Pre-truth.

- So this is what it's like

to be just friends.

- Yeah, it's a little weird.

- Oh, so what about that movie
- we're supposed to go to

Tomorrow night?

- Uh, well, people

who are just friends

go see movies together.

- How about we order
- separate popcorn?

- And I'll pay for my ticket.

- You know what?

- This might be the best breakup
- ever.

- You know what else

just friends do?

- What?

- Teach each other how to drive
- a stick shift

- So one can get a movie role
- that's not a teen zombie movie.

- Of course.

And since we don't have all that

boyfriend/girlfriend pressure,

we won't fight.

- No fighting.

- Told you so!

- Doesn't help me when you yell!

- Stop the car!
- Stop it!

- It stopped.
- Just do it.

- And it's going!

- You're the worst just friend
- ever!

- Ah!

- Okay, after the beat,

I need you guys to give me

a "yeah!"

Both:

Yeah.

- Okay, like it or not,

you are professionals,

and you have a job.

And instead of refinishing

an old red wagon,

we need to finish this album

and get ready to go on tour

all summer long.

Got it?

- We got it.
- We got it.

- Count us down.
- We'll get it this time.

- All right, let's try something
- different.

- After the beat,
- I'll go to the basement,

- You'll get me some coveralls
- too,

And together we'll fix up

your stupid wagonie.

- Both:
- Yeah!

- Yeah, somehow I imagined this

ending way worse than this.

- If you've got that
- "for sale" sign,

- Don't even bringing it out,
- missy,

Because this biker boy...

Ow!

Well, there goes my only shot

at getting a date with Lucy.

- If she dates you,
- it should be the real James...

Who can be amazing,

by the way.

Not the lying biker James

who's a danger to society.

Ooh!

Are you selling the motorcycle?

- Yes.

- Give us a sec to get some cash
- from the atm.

- And by atm, I mean
- the coin-filled pillowcase

Under my hammock.

- Oh.
- Hey, James.

So I was thinking about

that ride.

- Hey, Lucy, about that ride...

- Instead of just going

for a ride,

maybe you could, I don't know,

take me on a date on it.

- A date?

- Yeah.

You can drive me on the bike.

Meet you at your place at 7:00?

- Oh, I'll be there.

I can feel you glaring at me,

and it's not helping.

- There you go.
- One motorcycle please.

- The bike isn't for sale

anymore.

- Why, this wagon could be

dyno-mite.

Out of sight.

Make you feel all right.

- Both:
- Why, it's wagon lightning.

- You guys have no idea how all

of this stuff works, do you?

- Nope.

- Got any suggestions?

We did it!

Yeah!

- No, I did it.

You idiots have been singing

for the last two hours.

- Never mind that,
- because it's time

To take the ride of our lives.

- And all it's missing

is a dangerous hill.

- But we're in the heart of L.A.

- Where are we gonna find
- a hill?

- Down shift on the hill.

- What's down shifting?

- It doesn't help me
- when you yell!

- Pull along the big pole!

- Oh, that pole.

- You're gonna scratch
- Gustavo's car.

- Oh, there's a pole there.
- Ah!

- You know, the more I think
- about it,

The more this script stinks.

- Do the zombie movie.

Zombies don't drive stick.

They eat them.

- Hey, um, can I talk to you

about something?

You know, as a friend?

- Sure.

What's up, friend?

- Well, I dated this girl once,

and we broke up,

but I still like her.

- Oh, that's a tough one.

Well, as your friend,

- I'd say it was a real stupid
- move letting each other go,

And you should maybe go back out

with her.

- Hey, what do you say we get
- out of here

- And go on a little "we're back
- together" milkshake date?

- I say, "let's go."

- Hey, you're doing it.
- You're driving a stick!

- And not a scratch on it.

- We should break up more often!

- No!

- Hey, Mrs. Knight.

I'm here to meet James.

- Oh.

- They're going on a date.

Their first date.

- Well, come in.

- Although I'm not really sure
- where he is right now.

- Oh, I'm sure he's just
- a little nervous

- But getting ready to get
- the big night in gear.

- All right, diamond,

you got this.

Just, you know, drive around

the parking lot a couple times

and then pick up Lucy.

Okay.

Now to put it in gear...

- 7:00,
- right on time.

- Yeah, the date's off.

- I knew I couldn't have
- imagined

How bad this is gonna end.

I mean, who could

have predicted this?

- We must have gone up, what,
- two flights of stairs

To pull this off?

- I'm gonna kill him!

- This is not a hill;

it's a parking garage.

- It's an L.A. hill.
- Now push.

- No!

- There is no way you will make
- that turn.

- Oh, you mean the parking lot

lamp pole pass?

- Besides,
- crashing is the best park.

- Okay, one last ride,

and then we are going back

in the recording studio.

- You know, we'd get there
- a lot faster if you...

- Both:
- Give us a push!

- Fine.

- Carlitos, you ready?
- Yeah!

- Three, two, one.

- Both:
- Blast off!

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- Oh!

- Turn! Turn!
- Next turn!

Whoo!

- We didn't crash!

Whoo!

- Both:
- What was that?

- Hey, it's wagonie.

- Both:
- Whoo-hoo!

- Is that my car?

- No.

Yes.

See you later.

- I hate you dogs!

- Not a scratch.

- Nope.

- Ahh!

- You're gonna pull a muscle.

- I'm running all the way back
- to the palm woods.

- Get back here!

- Stay back!

I have to end the show!

Sorry we hit you

and crushed wagonie.

- Don't be sorry.

It was the greatest crash

of our lives.

- Wagonie would have wanted
- to go out that way.

- And it looks like James

had an interesting ride.

- Don't worry.

Maintenance will be up shortly.

- Hey, so what did you end up
- doing with that motorcycle?

- I made him sell it.

To who?

- ♪ Step it up,
- get in gear ♪

- ♪ go for broke,
- make it clear ♪

- ♪ make it work,
- get it right ♪

♪ Go and make your luck

with the life you choose ♪

♪ if you want it all,

lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ♪