Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 3, Episode 8 - Big Time Babysitting - full transcript

After Gustavo assigns the boys to babysit hard rock legend Babylace (an indulgent guitarist with multiple health issues), Jennifer tasks Carlos and James to babysit Katie for the afternoon, which they do with characteristic vigor. Meanwhile, as Gustavo deals with an arrogant, thieving young rapper, Kendall additionally labors to reconnect with Jo, which often does not go well.

- Dogs, this is

a very exciting time

for rocque records.

We are expanding

- and we are climbing
- to the next level.

- I'll say.

That coat check outside

is a nice touch.

- Uh, we don't have
- a coat check.

- Huh?

- And thanks to btr's success



and my amazingness,

I just signed a legend

to rocque records.

Babylace.

- Oh.

- Babylace?

- Rock magazine's fourth greatest
- guitarist of all time?

- Who holds the record for the

world's longest guitar solo?

- Who threw up

on the queen twice?

- The same.

- And you guys are gonna be
- working with him

Today.



- We get to sing with babylace?

- Yes!

- Close.

You're babysitting him.

- Babysitting?

- Why would a 50-year-old man
- need a babysitter?

- Guess who found

the time machine?

Now, how do I get back

to 1984?

- ♪ Make it count,
- play it straight ♪

- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪

- ♪ what you want,
- what you feel ♪

- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪

♪ If you want it all,

lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ♪

- Okay, babylace,

meet big time rush,

- who you'll be spending
- the day with.

- Oh, splendid.

And let's begin our day

with me going to the bathroom.

- Oh, uh, no.

The bathroom is this way.

- Ah, even better.

- Gustavo, we can't

babysit babylace.

He's famous for trashing hotels.

- Yeah, not just hotel rooms.

Entire hotels!

- Yeah, he's also being inducted

at the hall

of rock awards tonight,

- which means that Kelly and I
- have to go down to the theater

And make sure that his

dressing room is perfect,

or I'm gonna end up

like his last three producers.

Fired!

- Okay, but I need to spend

the day with Jo,

- 'cause things
- are kind of awkward,

Back together,

- but she was gone for so long,
- and I'm sensing...

- Stop your boy talk!

It's gonna take all of you

to keep him alive

and get him to the theater

by 5:00.

- And here is his medical kit.

In case his heart stops.

Again.

- Whoa, wait,
- what's wrong with his heart?

- Nothing!

I've got the heart

of a lion,

who is prone to heart attacks.

- For the last time,

I don't need a babysitter.

I'm in the seventh grade.

- Fine.
- You win.

No babysitter.

- Thank you.

- I need you guys
- to babysit Katie.

- Can't.

- We are already babysitting.

- Who?

- That's babylace.

- Madam.

- Yeah, and we got
- to get him

To the hall of rock by 5:00.

- I shall be on the balcony,

lads.

- Sounds good.

- Wait.
- We don't have a balcony.

- Ah.

The riviera.

- We're terrible babysitters.

- Whoa!

- Whoa! Hold it!

I need you two to babysit Katie,

- but she can't know
- that you're babysitting her.

- We can't...

- But we're babysitting
- for Gustavo.

- Well, if you babysit
- for me,

- Then I'll bring you back
- a toy.

Toys are cool.

- Very cool.

I'll be back at 4:30.

Do not let her leave

the palmwoods.

- Both: Stealth Katie-sitting
- commence!

- Well, how is he?

Are we good babysitters?

- His blood pressure
- and vitals are stable,

So, yes.

- Yes.

- Thank you, nurse.

- You know, you really
- should grow out your hair.

You'd be much prettier.

- You know I'm a guy, right?

- Nope.

- Oh, there's Jo.

Hey, look.

- I know we were supposed
- to hang out today,

But I have to babysit

a 50-year-old man.

Please don't ask.

- Oh, that's fine.

- I have a script I have
- to get through anyway.

- Great.
- It all works out.

So good-bye kiss?

Okay.

There's that awkwardness again?

- You think that's awkward?

Try seeing the boy

you never forgot about

kiss another girl

in an elevator,

- then wait around while he takes
- all day

To decide whether he

wants you back or not.

- Uh-oh.

Someone's got bird trouble.

- First up on the show,

- puppy dog will sing
- his monster hit

Throw 'em up,

your hands.

And after that,

babylace comes onstage

to accept his award.

- Okay, five guitars,

four leopard outfits,

and...

Where are the jelly beans?

- Jelly beans?

What jelly beans?

- Uh, the 1,000 imported

green kiwi jelly beans

that babylace demands

be in his dressing room?

- No beans means babylace

will fire his new producer.

Which is me!

- I tried to stop him,

- but he has
- a very big babysitter,

And they don't pay me enough!

- Whoa, whoa,

wait, wait, wait! Who's him

and... what?

Yes, hello.

We were wondering if puppy dog

may have taken some jelly beans

from the dressing room

next door.

- Puppy dog,

you seen any jelly beans?

- Naw, I haven't seen

any jelly beans.

- Yeah, he hasn't seem them.

- What?

- Hey, what are you guys
- doing here?

- Just hanging out
- in the crib,

You know, getting our puzzle on.

- Hey, you want in?

This is gonna take us

until, like, 4:30.

- No, thanks.

- Uh, whoa, wait.

We're having so much fun.

Not leaving the palmwoods.

Neither should you.

Leave.

- Wait.

Are you guys babysitting me?

- Naw.
- What? What are those words?

- No, I mean, what's more fun

than hanging out

and puzzling?

- Everything.

- So I'm headed down the street
- to the convenience store

- To check out
- the new arcade game.

Both: Oh.

Yeah.

We can't let you do that.

- Now, this is just a precaution

- to make sure you didn't fracture
- anything when you fell.

- Oh, but nurse,

you've attached me to the chair.

- Exactly.

- Now, Jo's not responding

with text kisses.

I used to get an xo

after every text.

Now there's no xs.

Just os.

- Kevin,

- I couldn't be there
- for you growing up,

But I'm here for you now.

- You know you're not
- his dad, right?

- Madam, please.

Now, when a girl sees you

kissing another bird,

- all she can think about is
- you kissing the other bird,

So what you've got to do

is get Jo to stop thinking about

you kissing the other bird.

- How?

- Heart attack.

- Huh?

- I'm having a heart attack.

- Wait, what?

- Side pouch, paddles.

Passing out.

- Oh, oh!

- I don't know how
- to work these things.

- Uh, button, press, rub,

and clear me!

- Okay, uh, button,

press, rub.

Clear him!

- Now,
- what we've go to do

- Is blast away that bad memory
- of you

- And replace it with
- a great new memory.

So what was her favorite thing

for the two of you

to do together?

- Uh, we used to love

going on picnics together.

- Oh, then you are going
- to make her

The mother of all picnics.

Heart attack.

Nurse!

- Oh, okay, uh...

Button, press,

rub,

clear you!

- Oh! That's the stuff.

- Babylace-sitting

is awesome.

- Just so you know,

- I will be playing
- that arcade game

At the convenience store today.

- Switch!

- And just so you know,

- you won't be playing
- that new arcade game

At the convenience store today.

Switch!

- Because we are gonna have

our eyes on you

constantly,

taking turns every five seconds.

Switch!

- Good method.

Impressive.

- Whoa, look,
- you finished a border.

Both: We did?

- That was your shift.
- No, dude, that was your job.

- No, it wasn't.
- Come on. Katie!

- Going somewhere?

- You can't stop me.

- Oh, really?

Katie cage!

- All right, this is the lamest
- thing you guys have ever done.

- Oh, yeah?

Mobile Katie cage.

- Okay, grilled cheese.

Grilled.

Cold salad?

I don't think so.

Grilled.

Shrimp?

Grilled.

- And nothing says
- a little romance like...

A little candlelight.

Picnic is served.

- This will definitely help Joe

- forget all about
- the kissing Lucy thing.

- Plus, who doesn't like shrimp?

Pity I'm allergic.

- Wait, what?

- Throat swelling.

Shock setting in.

- Wait, wait!
- No, no!

- Nurse!

- On it!

- Hey, hey, hey.

- There's been a small
- complication with the picnic.

- Oh.

Did you not want to have it?

- No, no, no, no, it's not
- that, Lucy, it's just...

- My name's Jo.

- I know, Jo.

I know.

- Jo.
- Jo, Jo.

Jo, not Lucy.

Jo.

- Clear, clear.

- Why isn't he up and singing?

- They're out of power.

- They're what?

- I don't know. I think I used
- them too much, okay?

Clear.

Clear.

We're terrible babysitters.

- We've got to do something.

- Don't look at me.

- You're the future doctor with
- all the knowledge and stuff.

- Okay, uh, first, um,

we diagnose the problem.

He looks dead.

- Okay.

- Secondly, uh, the search

for the cause of injury.

- Shrimp?

- And so I should, uh,
- administer...

An allergy injection.

Whoo!

That was close.

- So do it!

- Oh, right.

- Oh!

Oh.

Thank you, nurse.

You're as strong

as you are female.

- You know I'm a guy, right?

- That's the spirit.

Son.

Son.

Your picnic.

Looks like it went amazing.

- Actually didn't go at all.

- Oh.

- 'Cause you sort of died
- on it.

And then in a panic,

I called Jo Lucy.

- Oh, there's plenty

of time to fix things.

First, we'll need more

of these green leg sticks.

- Why?

- Because I've realized

that I love shrimp.

- Don't eat that.

- Here comes the swelling.

- Look, puppy dog,

you're very talented.

But babylace is very fond of

imported kiwi green jelly beans.

- And if those are not
- in his dressing room,

Then he will fire me.

Now, give me those jelly beans!

- Here you go.

- Yeah, there you go.

- Forget babylace.

- The only thing that matters
- about tonight

Is me.

Hit it.

- ♪ Throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- throw 'em up ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- ♪ that's right,
- that's right ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- throw 'em up ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- ♪ that's right,
- that's right ♪

- Okay, that kid

is a total brat.

- Who fell right into my trap,

because I caught every rudely

thrown jelly bean.

And combined with the ones

that we found on the floor...

Babylace has his bowl of

imported kiwi green jelly beans.

- Yeah, that's not gonna work.

- I know that!

- I don't need a babysitter.

- I have every emergency contact
- on my speed dial,

And if I'm hungry,

I'm perfectly capable

of making a sandwich.

- Katie, we are men
- with orders form your mom

- To keep you from leaving
- the palmwoods.

- And if we follow those orders,

we get toys.

Both: Toys.

- I'm leave the palmwoods

- and playing
- that arcade game today.

- Bring it on.

- How does she do that?

- Oh!
- Come on!

Go, go, go, go!

- Hey, guys.

Cool. Babylace.

- Where have you guys been?

- Gustavo said we have
- to babysit babylace together.

- Mama knight told James and me
- to watch Katie.

- You want to switch?

Tell us now.

Both: No, we're good.

- Yeah.
- Katie!

- Right.

I figured everything out.

We're going to write Jo

a love song.

- A love song could work.

- When she hears it,

all she'll think about is you

- and not all the stupid things
- you've said and done all day.

- We can't write a love song

- because we have to get you
- to the hall of rock awards

In one hour.

- I met, married,
- and divorced my third wife

In less time than that.

Now kiss me.

- What?

- The songs got to have
- the words "kiss me" in it.

And it starts like this.

Hello, Fiji!

Oh, just remembered.

Can't swim.

Nurse!

- Unbelievable.

Wait.

He's in the shallow end.

Come on.

- Ooh, that was fun.

Both: Trick or treat!

- Oh.

I didn't know it was Halloween?

Do you kids like jelly beans?

Oh, okay.

Here you go.

Oops.

All gone.

- You ate 1,000 jelly beans?

- Those are for babylace!

- Nobody cares

about that dinosaur.

- The only thing people
- are gonna remember about tonight

Is me.

Puppy dog.

Singing my smash hit.

- ♪ Throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- throw 'em up ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- ♪ that's right,
- that's right ♪

- That's it.

I'm dead.

- You're really gonna keep me

in the Katie cage until 4:30?

- After your attempts
- to escape us

- Through the window,
- the fireplace,

And air ducts...

Which was impressive...

- You have left us no choice.

- Okay.

- But can I at least
- wash my hands?

The air ducts were filthy.

- Story checks out.

- Well, I guess you're too big

to fit through the drain, so

we'll allow it.

- We're really great
- babysitters.

- The best.

- Hey, how long has she
- been washing her hands?

- Uh, 22 minutes.

- Hm.

- Oh, Katie!

How did she do that?

- Hey, guys.

- But you...

The wall...

- escaped?

- Now back?

- Here?

- Well, I was in the lobby
- with a clear shot at freedom

When it hit me.

- It's way more fun hanging out
- with you guys

Than playing some stupid arcade

game at a convenience store.

- So you'll stay here
- with us

Until your mom comes back?

- Why not?
- Now, let's go.

This puzzle isn't

gonna finish itself.

- So how did you remove the...

- don't worry about it.

- Now, we're going
- with the sweet love song, right?

- Right.

- Not the rocking love song.

- No rock!

Just love.

Now, go get your bird.

- Right.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Is that babylace?

- Yeah.

And, uh, I haven't been

the best with words today,

so I wanted to try

and do better with a song.

- Yes.

We have written it

especially for you.

And it starts like this.

Heart attack.

- Oh, come on.

Nurse.

- Yep.

Hey, Jo.

Clear!

- Oh!

Did the song work?

- We haven't played it yet.
- Oh.

- We were gonna play you a song

- that might make you forget about
- the things that I said and did,

But he keeps dying.

- Sorry.

- We got to start over.

Look, we need to start over.

Look, baby...

You and I could just...

Start over.

- How do we do that?

I noticed that you just moved

into the palmwoods.

Would you...

Like to go out sometime?

Like, tonight?

- That sounds really nice.

- Daddy's so proud of you.

- He's not my dad.

- Okay, great.

You're smooshy-smooshy again.

You get dressed.

You get James and Carlos,

- and let's get him
- to the hall of rock awards.

- Hall of rock!
- Let's go!

- This is such an honor!

Thank you!

- Okay, puppy dog goes on

in 30 seconds,

but we still have no babylace.

Repeat, no babylace.

- Well, on the bright side,

if the dogs can't get him here,

at least we can't get fired.

- Yeah!

- Here he is.
- Here he is.

We got him.

And he's alive.

- We're pretty much

the best babysitters ever.

- Oh, yeah?

- Where are your toys?

Whoo!

- Gustavo, I am thrilled

to be part

of the rocque records family,

- and I can't wait to hang out
- in the dressing room

After the show and share

my jelly beans with everyone.

- Yeah, the thing about

the jelly beans is, uh...

- Okay, lights up.

Puppy dog is ready to go.

And kick it!

- ♪ Throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- throw 'em up ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- Oh, I love this song.

- ♪ Throw 'em up,
- throw 'em up ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- ♪ that's right,
- that's right ♪

- He doesn't look so good.

- ♪ Throw 'em up,
- throw 'em up ♪

- ♪ throw 'em up,
- your hands ♪

- ♪ that's right,
- that's right ♪

All: Oh!

- Gustavo,

on second thought,

remove all the green jelly beans

from my dressing room.

- Done.

- ♪ Step it up,

get in gear ♪

- ♪ go for broke,
- make it clear ♪

- ♪ make it work,

get it right ♪

♪ Go and make your luck

with the life you choose ♪

♪ if you want it all,

lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ♪