Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 3, Episode 1 - Backstage Rush - full transcript
On the last leg of their world tour, BTR hopes to reach a few additional objectives. While all the boys hope to break N*Sync's quick change record, Logan hopes to finish his Stephen Hawking book. To further complicate the last show, Kelly gets locked out after learning of faulty stage equipment, and a French inspector dogs Carlos for smuggling wildlife out of France.
Big time rush! Big time rush!
- [High-pitched screaming
- and clapping]
- One minute, everyone,
- one minute.
Yes.
- One more minute
- till the last concert
Of our world tour,
which means no more contracts,
backstage pass requests,
and no more of that.
- It's also one minute
till our first concert
in Canada.
So let's give these canucks
a big-time rush.
Fine.
Take mine.
Tour's over.
I don't need it anymore.
- Why do people want
to come backstage?
- What, are they going
- to see this?
Or is it the gray hallways
with the big, ugly men
rolling crates?
Tonight is about
what happens onstage
with fireworks and trampolines
and my amazing music,
- not backstage,
- which is full of concrete,
Dubious stains, and...
Why aren't you dressed?
- Because we are about to break
n'sync's 3.9 second
backstage change record.
- Then, big time rush
joins the rock and roll legends
on Canada's wall of fame.
Go.
- Hit it.
- I can't breathe.
- See, now do our fans want to
watch backstage derangement
or onstage amazement?
- Maybe they want both.
- ♪ Make it count,
- play it straight ♪
- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪
- ♪ what you want,
- what you feel ♪
- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪
- Come on!
♪ If you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪
- ♪ baby blow,
your speakers out ♪
- Sign.
Sign.
- Ugh, I still say
- that trampoline is dangerous.
- And I say it's amazing,
like my fireworks.
Which you people just missed,
because nothing exciting
ever happens backstage!
- Ladies, no access
without a backstage pass.
Here is my backstage pass.
French inspector, Henri duchamp.
We are investigating
a very serious case
of smuggling by Carlos Garcia.
- ♪ Baby blow,
your speakers out ♪
[Wild applause
[and high-pitched cheering]
- Let's change.
- Go, go, go.
- 5.3 seconds.
Aw, come on!
- Okay, we still have three more
wardrobe changes left.
N'sync's record
is going down tonight.
- And you're back on stage
in 90 seconds.
- Snack time.
- Cash time.
- Really?
- I promised myself
I'd read this entire book by the
end of tour, and tour ends in an
hour.
- Who reads backstage?
- I do, okay?
- And Stephen Hawking's
- journey through physics,
- Black holes,
- and his days at studio 54
- Are both thrilling
- and inspiring.
And quiet!
I have 82 pages left to go.
- No, you should be
replenishing your fluids.
Ah.
And staying limber.
- Shh.
- What was that?
Was that a burn?
Did he just burn me?
- We should be figuring out
how to change faster.
- Well, we're not going to do
- that by reading.
- Oh, and your backstage
- limbering methods are genius.
- Hey, keep the muscles
and vocal chords loose.
Shing.
Waow, waow.
- Quiet.
Zsh, waow.
- Seriously, come on.
- Carlos Garcia.
Or should I say, smuggler.
- Uh...
- You do realize it is a crime
- to leave France
With any of our indigenous
wildlife, no matter how teeny?
- I didn't smuggle anything.
- Then how do you explain
- this scat-pod,
- Of the adventures
- of Jean-Pierre,
- The French cricket who
- you take on the big-time tour
Around the globe?
- Well, uh, i...
- it's a publicity stunt.
- His producer thought
- a fictional cricket
- Would be a fun way
- to promote the world tour.
- Uh-huh.
- I get it.
It is a ruse.
In that case, I apologize
for the inconvenience,
and I bid you adieu.
- You stole a cricket?
- I didn't know it was illegal.
- I just wanted my little buddy
- to see the whole world.
- We're back.
Protect him.
- Let's go-o.
Okay, love me love me,
with lots-o-trampoline.
And super awesome steam,
which you can't see
'cause you're backstage!
- ♪ Love me, love me
say you're gonna love me ♪
- ♪ jaw drop, heart stop,
the eye lock ♪
♪ I must be dreaming,
don't hit the alarm clock ♪
- ♪ under the lights,
coming alive ♪
- ♪ one dance, two dance
- is not enough ♪
♪ You got that glow in the dark
so I'm not giving up ♪
- ♪ I'm reading your mind,
- you know I'm a psychic ♪
♪ Why you try to hide it,
hide it ♪
- ♪ Go, go, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go ♪
- ♪ love me, love me
say you're gonna love me ♪
- ♪ love me, love me
say you're gonna love me ♪
♪ don't leave me out
on the floor ♪
♪ Love me, love me
say you're gonna love me ♪
- We can do it.
- Street look!
- We've got to beat
3.9 seconds!
Off with my legs.
Did not need
to see that.
- Yeah, I said street look,
not sheik look.
Go, go, go.
- Yeah, that's
the fresh beat look.
- Unbelievable.
Ah.
- Yeah, that's the first look.
- But wear it again before you
- kill yourselves.
- 12.6?
- Okay, we need to work
on getting limber-er.
- Quiet, okay.
- Stephen's just about to confirm
- the heaviness
Of fundamental particles.
- Stop please.
- Trying to read here.
Trying to read.
- Let me warn you
of the penalties
of smuggling wildlife
out of France.
You will not be allowed
to perform in France...
- Or to eat French toast...
- Or French fries.
- Dude, we don't have a cricket.
What you heard were squeaky
crate wheels.
- The tone is similar.
So we will search
in every nook in the venue
until we have looked
in every nook
in the venue.
- You can spit it out now.
You really shouldn't do that.
- Let's go-o.
Break over!
Go, go, go, go, go.
Oh, you thought the back side
of curtains was exciting,
you should see the fax machine
in the production office.
'Cause nothing happens there
either!
- "Urgent fax.
- "Please immediately suspend
- the use
Of all metal tuff trampolines
due to faulty welding."
No, nothing exciting
ever happens backstage.
How about stopping
the trampoline of death?
- All right, that's it, ladies.
- I'm sorry.
- No one gets backstage
- without a pass.
- I need to get backstage.
The trampoline is gonna break.
- What?
- I need you to bring me
- a backstage pass.
- I got trapped outside
- of the arena.
- You got slapped
and you have amnesia?
- Don't let the boys jump.
- The trampoline is going
- to break.
- I know the trampoline
looks great.
- It actually looks a lot better
- if you're in your seat.
- No, break.
Break.
- Yes, we're gonna take a break
after this song.
And remember, you're Kelly.
- Don't!
Don't throw your phone away.
Ah.
- [Thunderous cheering
- and applause]
- We can do this.
- Street look.
- My face!
- That's your face?
- 3.8 seconds.
Whoo!
- It's a new record.
- Yeah, you forgot your pants.
- I thought I felt a draft.
- Got to go.
Got to go.
- Perhaps to become legends, we
should break a different record
on the wall.
Come on.
- Okay, um, high-stage dive,
red hot chili peppers, 25 feet.
- The stage is only
20 feet high.
- Oh, snoop dogg, largest beard
of bees.
- Carlos is allergic.
- Okay, we can beat
n'sync's record.
- Yes, but not by reading
word-pages.
- They're called books, James,
- and they hold the answers
- to everything.
- Oh, hmm, do they hold
the answer to this?
Waow.
- Don't.
We need him.
- You just had to fight me
for the terrarium.
- You wanted to put Jean-Pierre
- in a crate.
- Reading.
- Hide him in a crate,
so we could get him
on the bus to america.
- You know what?
He doesn't need your help.
- You know what?
He's not getting it.
- Looking for something?
Like Jean-Pierre the cricket
perhaps?
Katie.
K.
- Of course we saw a cricket,
because Canada has them too.
Hey, is that one on the ground?
- That is a dubious stain.
- Huh, then I guess
we haven't seen a cricket.
Sorry.
- Let's go-o.
You, book.
You, stupid toys.
And all of you, smile.
Your fans showed up tonight
to see their onstage idols,
not backstage idiots.
- Maybe they've come
- to see both.
- [Thunderous cheering
- and applause]
- ♪ Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
make some noise ♪
♪ hands up kids,
you are on camera ♪
- ♪ have you ever had
the feeling ♪
- ♪ and it isn't anything
they could've said or done ♪
- ♪ and every day
I see you on your own ♪
♪ and I can't believe
that you're alone ♪
♪ but I overheard your girls,
and this is what they said ♪
- ♪ she's looking
- for a boyfriend ♪
♪ Give me time,
you know I'm gonna be there ♪
♪ don't care or know
what you've done before ♪
♪ all I really want is
to be your ♪
- ♪ B-b-b-b-
- looking for a boyfriend ♪
♪ All I really want
is to be your ♪
- OMG, I heart b.T.R.,
- and I think I can get backstage
- over this fence.
Help me, rushers.
OMG, I heart b.T.R.,
- and I think I can get back
- over this fence.
Help me, security guards.
Thud!
- ♪ I know we can turn it up
all the way ♪
♪ my cover girl,
whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
- Elevate look.
- Wait.
- This is our last chance
- to beat n'sync's record,
- And we haven't figured out
- the secret of quick-changing.
- Right.
- Let's all stay here
- and think about ways
We can increase
our clothes-changing speed.
- Totally agree, ha ha ha,
- see ya!
- Got to go.
- I hate them.
- Where's my book?
And the couch?
- We were told to start
loading the truck.
- I only had one page
left to go.
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
I got to find my book.
No book.
No book.
- But a cricket
in a world-tour terrarium.
Arrest him
for illegal smuggling.
Ugh.
I cannot arrest because
we are "in Canada."
But big time rush
will never be allowed
to perform again in France.
- What?
What is going on here?
- Carlos smuggled
- a cricket out of France,
And we just got busted.
- Okay, how did we miss that?
- Well, at least let him
say good-bye.
- Oh, bye-bye, little buddy.
You almost made it to L.A.
But we'll always have Paris,
Barcelona
and Berlin
and now Canada.
No other cricket has
ever seen so much.
- I'm so sorry that
- I'll never see you again.
- You know, we French
don't understand many things...
Space travel,
bikini tops,
soap...
But there's one thing
we do understand...
Love.
Be good to him.
- Yes.
My cricket is staying.
- My book is gone.
I had one page left to go, man.
Why, why, why?
My book... i can finish.
Quiet, reading.
- Okay, why did they get
happy endings, but we don't?
- Because we still haven't
figured out
- how to beat
- n'sync's quick-change time.
- How to slow down time
by creating a rip
in the fabric of time.
Ha, done.
- Wait, slowing down time?
Ripping.
Fabric.
- We're back.
- Let her rip.
- 3.7 seconds.
- We're on
- the wall of fame!
- Woo-hoo-hoo.
- Now get out there,
hit that trampoline,
and let's elevate!
♪ Mo-move your feet
until you levitate ♪
♪ I know a place
where we can go-o-o ♪
- ♪ Here we go,
here we go-o ♪
- No one backstage.
- And besides, nothing exciting
- happens backstage.
- That's what you think.
Sorry, boys.
I got to save the day.
The trampoline's gonna break!
Hey, Jean-Pierre.
You, you get out.
- ♪ Levitate,
come on, let's celebrate ♪
- Thank you
for an amazing night.
- Love you, guys.
- We've had a blast.
We'll see you soon.
- Hold it, boys.
Kendall.
Logan.
James.
Carlo-o-o-s.
- Thank you.
- Whew.
Ah.
- You know, this backstage
can be very exciting.
- Yeah, I guess so.
- ♪ Step it up,
- get in gear ♪
- ♪ go for broke,
- make it clear ♪
- ♪ make it work,
get it right ♪
♪ Go and make your luck
with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪
- [High-pitched screaming
- and clapping]
- One minute, everyone,
- one minute.
Yes.
- One more minute
- till the last concert
Of our world tour,
which means no more contracts,
backstage pass requests,
and no more of that.
- It's also one minute
till our first concert
in Canada.
So let's give these canucks
a big-time rush.
Fine.
Take mine.
Tour's over.
I don't need it anymore.
- Why do people want
to come backstage?
- What, are they going
- to see this?
Or is it the gray hallways
with the big, ugly men
rolling crates?
Tonight is about
what happens onstage
with fireworks and trampolines
and my amazing music,
- not backstage,
- which is full of concrete,
Dubious stains, and...
Why aren't you dressed?
- Because we are about to break
n'sync's 3.9 second
backstage change record.
- Then, big time rush
joins the rock and roll legends
on Canada's wall of fame.
Go.
- Hit it.
- I can't breathe.
- See, now do our fans want to
watch backstage derangement
or onstage amazement?
- Maybe they want both.
- ♪ Make it count,
- play it straight ♪
- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪
- ♪ what you want,
- what you feel ♪
- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪
- Come on!
♪ If you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪
- ♪ baby blow,
your speakers out ♪
- Sign.
Sign.
- Ugh, I still say
- that trampoline is dangerous.
- And I say it's amazing,
like my fireworks.
Which you people just missed,
because nothing exciting
ever happens backstage!
- Ladies, no access
without a backstage pass.
Here is my backstage pass.
French inspector, Henri duchamp.
We are investigating
a very serious case
of smuggling by Carlos Garcia.
- ♪ Baby blow,
your speakers out ♪
[Wild applause
[and high-pitched cheering]
- Let's change.
- Go, go, go.
- 5.3 seconds.
Aw, come on!
- Okay, we still have three more
wardrobe changes left.
N'sync's record
is going down tonight.
- And you're back on stage
in 90 seconds.
- Snack time.
- Cash time.
- Really?
- I promised myself
I'd read this entire book by the
end of tour, and tour ends in an
hour.
- Who reads backstage?
- I do, okay?
- And Stephen Hawking's
- journey through physics,
- Black holes,
- and his days at studio 54
- Are both thrilling
- and inspiring.
And quiet!
I have 82 pages left to go.
- No, you should be
replenishing your fluids.
Ah.
And staying limber.
- Shh.
- What was that?
Was that a burn?
Did he just burn me?
- We should be figuring out
how to change faster.
- Well, we're not going to do
- that by reading.
- Oh, and your backstage
- limbering methods are genius.
- Hey, keep the muscles
and vocal chords loose.
Shing.
Waow, waow.
- Quiet.
Zsh, waow.
- Seriously, come on.
- Carlos Garcia.
Or should I say, smuggler.
- Uh...
- You do realize it is a crime
- to leave France
With any of our indigenous
wildlife, no matter how teeny?
- I didn't smuggle anything.
- Then how do you explain
- this scat-pod,
- Of the adventures
- of Jean-Pierre,
- The French cricket who
- you take on the big-time tour
Around the globe?
- Well, uh, i...
- it's a publicity stunt.
- His producer thought
- a fictional cricket
- Would be a fun way
- to promote the world tour.
- Uh-huh.
- I get it.
It is a ruse.
In that case, I apologize
for the inconvenience,
and I bid you adieu.
- You stole a cricket?
- I didn't know it was illegal.
- I just wanted my little buddy
- to see the whole world.
- We're back.
Protect him.
- Let's go-o.
Okay, love me love me,
with lots-o-trampoline.
And super awesome steam,
which you can't see
'cause you're backstage!
- ♪ Love me, love me
say you're gonna love me ♪
- ♪ jaw drop, heart stop,
the eye lock ♪
♪ I must be dreaming,
don't hit the alarm clock ♪
- ♪ under the lights,
coming alive ♪
- ♪ one dance, two dance
- is not enough ♪
♪ You got that glow in the dark
so I'm not giving up ♪
- ♪ I'm reading your mind,
- you know I'm a psychic ♪
♪ Why you try to hide it,
hide it ♪
- ♪ Go, go, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go ♪
- ♪ love me, love me
say you're gonna love me ♪
- ♪ love me, love me
say you're gonna love me ♪
♪ don't leave me out
on the floor ♪
♪ Love me, love me
say you're gonna love me ♪
- We can do it.
- Street look!
- We've got to beat
3.9 seconds!
Off with my legs.
Did not need
to see that.
- Yeah, I said street look,
not sheik look.
Go, go, go.
- Yeah, that's
the fresh beat look.
- Unbelievable.
Ah.
- Yeah, that's the first look.
- But wear it again before you
- kill yourselves.
- 12.6?
- Okay, we need to work
on getting limber-er.
- Quiet, okay.
- Stephen's just about to confirm
- the heaviness
Of fundamental particles.
- Stop please.
- Trying to read here.
Trying to read.
- Let me warn you
of the penalties
of smuggling wildlife
out of France.
You will not be allowed
to perform in France...
- Or to eat French toast...
- Or French fries.
- Dude, we don't have a cricket.
What you heard were squeaky
crate wheels.
- The tone is similar.
So we will search
in every nook in the venue
until we have looked
in every nook
in the venue.
- You can spit it out now.
You really shouldn't do that.
- Let's go-o.
Break over!
Go, go, go, go, go.
Oh, you thought the back side
of curtains was exciting,
you should see the fax machine
in the production office.
'Cause nothing happens there
either!
- "Urgent fax.
- "Please immediately suspend
- the use
Of all metal tuff trampolines
due to faulty welding."
No, nothing exciting
ever happens backstage.
How about stopping
the trampoline of death?
- All right, that's it, ladies.
- I'm sorry.
- No one gets backstage
- without a pass.
- I need to get backstage.
The trampoline is gonna break.
- What?
- I need you to bring me
- a backstage pass.
- I got trapped outside
- of the arena.
- You got slapped
and you have amnesia?
- Don't let the boys jump.
- The trampoline is going
- to break.
- I know the trampoline
looks great.
- It actually looks a lot better
- if you're in your seat.
- No, break.
Break.
- Yes, we're gonna take a break
after this song.
And remember, you're Kelly.
- Don't!
Don't throw your phone away.
Ah.
- [Thunderous cheering
- and applause]
- We can do this.
- Street look.
- My face!
- That's your face?
- 3.8 seconds.
Whoo!
- It's a new record.
- Yeah, you forgot your pants.
- I thought I felt a draft.
- Got to go.
Got to go.
- Perhaps to become legends, we
should break a different record
on the wall.
Come on.
- Okay, um, high-stage dive,
red hot chili peppers, 25 feet.
- The stage is only
20 feet high.
- Oh, snoop dogg, largest beard
of bees.
- Carlos is allergic.
- Okay, we can beat
n'sync's record.
- Yes, but not by reading
word-pages.
- They're called books, James,
- and they hold the answers
- to everything.
- Oh, hmm, do they hold
the answer to this?
Waow.
- Don't.
We need him.
- You just had to fight me
for the terrarium.
- You wanted to put Jean-Pierre
- in a crate.
- Reading.
- Hide him in a crate,
so we could get him
on the bus to america.
- You know what?
He doesn't need your help.
- You know what?
He's not getting it.
- Looking for something?
Like Jean-Pierre the cricket
perhaps?
Katie.
K.
- Of course we saw a cricket,
because Canada has them too.
Hey, is that one on the ground?
- That is a dubious stain.
- Huh, then I guess
we haven't seen a cricket.
Sorry.
- Let's go-o.
You, book.
You, stupid toys.
And all of you, smile.
Your fans showed up tonight
to see their onstage idols,
not backstage idiots.
- Maybe they've come
- to see both.
- [Thunderous cheering
- and applause]
- ♪ Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
make some noise ♪
♪ hands up kids,
you are on camera ♪
- ♪ have you ever had
the feeling ♪
- ♪ and it isn't anything
they could've said or done ♪
- ♪ and every day
I see you on your own ♪
♪ and I can't believe
that you're alone ♪
♪ but I overheard your girls,
and this is what they said ♪
- ♪ she's looking
- for a boyfriend ♪
♪ Give me time,
you know I'm gonna be there ♪
♪ don't care or know
what you've done before ♪
♪ all I really want is
to be your ♪
- ♪ B-b-b-b-
- looking for a boyfriend ♪
♪ All I really want
is to be your ♪
- OMG, I heart b.T.R.,
- and I think I can get backstage
- over this fence.
Help me, rushers.
OMG, I heart b.T.R.,
- and I think I can get back
- over this fence.
Help me, security guards.
Thud!
- ♪ I know we can turn it up
all the way ♪
♪ my cover girl,
whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
- Elevate look.
- Wait.
- This is our last chance
- to beat n'sync's record,
- And we haven't figured out
- the secret of quick-changing.
- Right.
- Let's all stay here
- and think about ways
We can increase
our clothes-changing speed.
- Totally agree, ha ha ha,
- see ya!
- Got to go.
- I hate them.
- Where's my book?
And the couch?
- We were told to start
loading the truck.
- I only had one page
left to go.
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
I got to find my book.
No book.
No book.
- But a cricket
in a world-tour terrarium.
Arrest him
for illegal smuggling.
Ugh.
I cannot arrest because
we are "in Canada."
But big time rush
will never be allowed
to perform again in France.
- What?
What is going on here?
- Carlos smuggled
- a cricket out of France,
And we just got busted.
- Okay, how did we miss that?
- Well, at least let him
say good-bye.
- Oh, bye-bye, little buddy.
You almost made it to L.A.
But we'll always have Paris,
Barcelona
and Berlin
and now Canada.
No other cricket has
ever seen so much.
- I'm so sorry that
- I'll never see you again.
- You know, we French
don't understand many things...
Space travel,
bikini tops,
soap...
But there's one thing
we do understand...
Love.
Be good to him.
- Yes.
My cricket is staying.
- My book is gone.
I had one page left to go, man.
Why, why, why?
My book... i can finish.
Quiet, reading.
- Okay, why did they get
happy endings, but we don't?
- Because we still haven't
figured out
- how to beat
- n'sync's quick-change time.
- How to slow down time
by creating a rip
in the fabric of time.
Ha, done.
- Wait, slowing down time?
Ripping.
Fabric.
- We're back.
- Let her rip.
- 3.7 seconds.
- We're on
- the wall of fame!
- Woo-hoo-hoo.
- Now get out there,
hit that trampoline,
and let's elevate!
♪ Mo-move your feet
until you levitate ♪
♪ I know a place
where we can go-o-o ♪
- ♪ Here we go,
here we go-o ♪
- No one backstage.
- And besides, nothing exciting
- happens backstage.
- That's what you think.
Sorry, boys.
I got to save the day.
The trampoline's gonna break!
Hey, Jean-Pierre.
You, you get out.
- ♪ Levitate,
come on, let's celebrate ♪
- Thank you
for an amazing night.
- Love you, guys.
- We've had a blast.
We'll see you soon.
- Hold it, boys.
Kendall.
Logan.
James.
Carlo-o-o-s.
- Thank you.
- Whew.
Ah.
- You know, this backstage
can be very exciting.
- Yeah, I guess so.
- ♪ Step it up,
- get in gear ♪
- ♪ go for broke,
- make it clear ♪
- ♪ make it work,
get it right ♪
♪ Go and make your luck
with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪