Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 2, Episode 3 - Big Time Girlfriends - full transcript

James helps Camille run lines for an audition and they end up kissing. Elsewhere, as Gustavo tries to set up Carlos with his first girlfriend, Kendall and Jo try to balance their hectic schedules so they can see each other.

- ♪ And now I can't

find all the pieces ♪

- Cut! Cut!

Carlos, this is a song

about when a girl

destroys your heart.

So why are you singing

so happy?

- Uh...

Because I'm happy?

- Carlos, just try to remember
- the first time



A girl broke your heart.

- Uh, for that to happen,

- he'd have to have
- a first girlfriend.

- Die!

Oh!

- The new "stop fight" button
- works.

- I'll make some changes

to the breakup song,

and I'll record you all

later...

Separately.

Until then...

- The new "eject" button
- works too.

- Yep.



- ♪ Make it count,
- play it straight ♪

- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪

- ♪ what you want,

what you feel ♪

- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪

♪ If you want it all,

lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ♪

- Ooh.
- How about her?

- Marcy?

She has anger issues.

- Okay, how about her?

- That's a palm tree.

- And she's mine.

- Well, I'm desperate.

- Carlos, love isn't just going
- to run up

With a corn dog in one hand

and a hockey stick in the other

and throw itself at you.

- Well, I can't wait anymore.

- I'm going to go talk
- to Marcy.

- Hey, want to help me run lines
- for my audition?

- Can't.

- I'm going to the solar winds
- of Venus exhibit

At the planetarium.

You want to come with?

- It's a really big audition.

I play a Princess bot

- who falls for this super
- handsome hair model spy prince.

- I am in!

- Give me an hour to absorb
- the script

And get into character.

I don't care if she's a robot.

I'm in love with her.

- Good for you.

- Sorry.

My scene ran late.

- But we're together now,

and I got us

his and hers smoothies.

The pink one's mine.

- Ugh.

- They just moved up
- my next scene.

I have to go.

- But this means
- I'm free for lunch.

- Picnic in the park.

- It's a date.

- Ooh.

- Somebody better jump
- in the pool,

Because they just got burned.

- What are you talking about?

- She just made another date
- for lunch?

- Don't you guys have
- anything better to do?

- Cable's down till tomorrow.

- But watching
- your relationships

- Succumb to the pressures
- of Hollywood is pretty good.

- Wow.
- Something we actually agree on.

- "Love isn't just going
- to run up

With a corn dog

and a hockey stick."

What do they know?

I need a girlfriend bad.

Oh!

- Dude.
- Why don't you...

- I am so sorry.

- I should have known not to try
- to play roller hockey

While eating a corn dog.

- I'm Carlos.

- I like summer breezes,
- winter snowstorms,

- And seeing cats get
- what's coming to them.

- I'm Sasha,

and I love all those things too.

- We mustn't.

You're a hair model prince

who's spying on my country,

and I'm a robot.

- If it's so wrong,

then why were you programmed

to love?

- But what about the bomb?

Crash!

Then the explosion throws us

into each other's arms.

Boom!

Then we, uh...

Hmm.

What was that?

- It was in the script!

- Not that second one!

Both: Then why did you kiss me?

No, you kissed me.

No!

You...

- Hey, guys.

- How's rehearsal going?

- Uh, a bomb just went off

and then my character runs away.

Bye!

- Mine too.

Bye.

- Ooh, Venus.

- Hey, I'm at palm woods park.

- I'm still at the studio.

The show is doing really great,

- and they want me
- to go do some interviews.

I'm sorry.

- But I set up a really girly

picnic and everything.

- I'll be back
- as soon as I can.

Bye.

- Now, the scorned teen wonders

- if this relationship
- will survive.

- And rejection causes him

to lose his appetite,

- and now his picnic will go
- to waste

Unless...

- Just sit down and eat.

Is that Carlos?

In slow-motion?

- ♪ Whoa-oh,

whoa-oh ♪

♪ whoa-oh,

whoa-oh ♪

- ♪ we could be onto something
- so good ♪

- ♪ I know, you know,
- you got my heart pumping ♪

♪ I know, you know,

we know we got something ♪

♪ but what if

you're my soul mate? ♪

- ♪ We can party

like the weekend ♪

- ♪ you got me thinking
- we could be a thing, yeah ♪

- ♪ I know, you know,
- I got your heart pumping ♪

♪ I know, you know,

we know we got something right ♪

♪ so let's party

like it's '99 ♪

♪ whoa-oh,

whoa-oh ♪

- Yes.

Operation "break Carlos' heart"

is going exactly as planned.

- Operation what?

- Operation nothing.

- Don't tell me that you hired
- an actress

- To make Carlos fall in love
- with her

So she would break his heart

- so that he could perform
- better on the breakup song?

- Is that wrong?

- We have to tell Logan.

- See, that would be wrong,

because then he'd know about it.

- James, relationships
- are nothing without honesty.

Logan needs to know

that his best friend

and his girlfriend kissed.

Now go.

- Why me?

- Your lips weren't exactly
- innocent bystanders.

- Please don't make me
- tell him, James.

I can't!

I can't take the heartache!

- Okay.
- Fine.

I'll do it.

- Great.

- I don't know why I don't book
- more acting parts.

Let's go.

- Hey, anything new
- on the Kendall and Jo front?

- Forget that.

- Wait till you hear what's going
- on with James and Camille.

- Get out!

- Hey.

- Hey, buddy.

What's up?

- Did you know that Venus

- is considered
- earth's brother planet

- Because of its similar size
- and shape?

Kind of like galactic best buds

who never let each other down.

- Yeah, listen.

- There's something
- I have to tell you,

Something that I'm really,

really sorry about.

- Then, dude, come on.
- You can tell me anything.

We're best friends.

- Okay, good.

Good.

Then here it goes.

I...

I...

I...

Used your toothbrush.

- Oh, what?

- If that girl you hired

breaks sweet Carlos's heart,

I will break every single one

of your music awards.

- You wouldn't dare.

- Mm.

- Ah!

- Hey, guys.

I want you to meet

my new girlfriend, Sasha.

- Yeah, actually, Carlos,

there's something

I need to tell you.

- You're thirsty, right?

Carlos, be a gentleman

and get your lady friend

a beverage from the pantry.

- Anything for my sweetums.

- New plan.

Do not break up with hm.

And do not break this.

- Well, if you don't want me
- to break up with him,

Then what do I do?

- Don't look at me.

- Sorry?

- Hey.

- So are you mad

about what James told you?

- We're cool.

- I mean, I was a little upset
- at first,

But he was honest with me.

- You were only a little upset?

- Hey, if he wants to put
- his mouth

On something worn-out and gross,

that's his problem.

- Excuse me?

I was about to dump it anyway.

- Oh, well, if you were going
- to dump me anyway,

- Maybe I'm glad
- James and I kissed.

- You and James kissed?

- Look on the bright side,

- now you don't need
- a new toothbrush.

Ha.

- Ooh, this is getting good.

Look...

- Logan, hey, come back, man!

Let's talk!

- Boo!
- What a rip-off.

- No, this is better.

- See, the rejected male
- storms off,

While the backstabbing friend

- fears for the future
- of their friendship.

- Hmm.
- What about Logan and Camille?

- Oh, they are toast.

- Hello?

I'm standing right here.

- It's simple.

Just don't break up with him.

- But I can't just keep
- pretending

To be his dream girlfriend

for the rest of my life.

- Why not?

- Another fruit water

for my fruit cup.

- Oh, could you get me another,
- sweetie?

I'm so thirsty.

- Okay. Okay.

- Wait a minute.

- What if we can get Carlos
- to break up with her?

- Yes.

- Yeah, but Carlos

is really in love with me.

So far he's given me

a seven-page love poem,

a bouquet of corn dogs,

and a coupon book

for Carlos hugs.

- Aww.

- Just be the worst girlfriend
- ever.

- Be bossy,
- spend all of his money on shoes,

Cry about everything,

and hate all of

his best guy friends.

- Okay, and if all that
- doesn't work?

- Be disgusting.

- Here you go, honey.

- Ugh, I'm sick of all this

fruit water!

- Just buy me shoes.
- Now!

- Okay.
- Anything you...

- Ugh!
- Take me shoe shopping now!

- Okay!

Ah!

- Yeah, I give him
- about two hours tops.

- Okay, we wrapped for the day.

I'm totally free.

Now how about that date?

- You blew me off at the pool,

then at the park,

then again at the pool.

- And I'm sorry.

- I mean, I love that my career
- is taking off.

- I just hate
- how it's making things so...

- unbelievable.

- Uh, that was your phone.

- I have to go to the studio.

Oh, my one to your three.

- What did I miss?

- Now Kendall blew her off.

- Ooh.
- Nice twist.

Pass me a soda.

- Popcorn me.

- Logan, we need to talk
- about this.

- Ooh, hey, there, pal.

- You're just in time
- to see asteroid James

Crash into Venus,

the planet of love.

- We got caught up
- in the acting.

I mean, there was a bomb!

- Then tell me what I can do to
- get back to being your friend.

- I don't know, okay?

- I've never been cheated on
- before.

- What if we even the score,
- huh?

Go ahead.

Break my lucky comb.

- Hi, sorry to interrupt.

Big fans.

- But we were thinking

- that the storyline
- might benefit from more action.

- Like, say, a duel.

- I like that.

Broadswords at dawn.

- Isn't dawn really early?

Broadswords at 11:00.

- Sorry.
- No blood.

Palm woods rule.

Both:

Then what do we duel with?

- Tell them why we came back

to rocque records, Carlos.

- I just wanted a place

to put down your shoes

so I can buy you some more.

Turns out I love shoe shopping.

Oh, sweet!

- What's wrong, pumpkin?

- I don't know.

I just cry all the time

and for no reason at all.

- And that's how I know
- you care.

- Really?

- Okay.
- I'm here.

- And your session
- is cancelled,

Carlos's friend.

- Ugh!

I hate all of your friends.

Only spend time with me.

- And I will,

- until you see what nice people
- they are.

That was me.

No more beans

with that corn dog, please.

Let's get some shoes, huh?

- That boy is so sweet.

- And that girl is going to win
- best actress someday.

- Ah!

- Oh, you're back.

- Yeah, Gustavo didn't need me,

- Carlos's new girlfriend
- scares me,

And now we can...

What's with the glamour?

- You said you had to go
- to rocque records,

- So I told my agent she could
- book another interview.

- We can't keep doing this.

- But I have to focus
- on my show,

And you need to focus

on your music.

- And it's only going
- to get worse.

- Whoa. Whoa.
- What happens next?

- The troubled couple realize

that having no time

for a relationship

means that there is

no relationship

and, I guess, end it.

- Did you really think this was
- going to be easy, big brother?

Jo's going to be a TV star.

You're going to be a pop star.

You're both really busy.

But what's worse,

- seeing Jo for one minute
- at a time

Or never seeing her at all?

- That 59 seconds is longer

than any of my dates.

- You know what, baby sister,

you are right again.

- What do you want me
- to bring to the duel?

- Surprise me.

- All right.

- Didn't have to end this way.

- Didn't it?

Draw.

- Ugh!

- Oh!

- Ooh!

- Whoa.

The 3-d on this is amazing.

- It's like the spit balls

are coming right at you.

Ow!

- I can't hurt you.

You're my friend.

- Same here.

Plus, I don't...

I don't have any spit left.

- We cool?

- Yeah, we're cool.

- So in the end,

friendship prevails,

- but Logan still has to confront
- his relationship with Camille.

- Hmm.
- Could you do it after 3:00?

I've got some paperwork to do.

- Carlos, Gustavo has something

that he needs to tell you.

- You didn't meet Sasha
- by accident.

I hired her to make you

fall in love with her

and then break up with you

so you could sing

the breakup song better.

And I'm sorry.

- Is that true?

- No. No.
- No. No.

I mean yes, but no.

I mean, look,

when I was acting so awful,

you were so sweet.

And, look, I know this might

sound strange,

- but do you think we could
- try again,

For real this time?

- Well, then.

- Would you like to have lunch
- with me?

- I would.

- Come on, Kelly.

Let's get back to work.

- On what?

- A new song.

- I don't understand.

You forgive me but you're

breaking up with me?

- Camille, 96% of all first

romances end in breakups.

- You kissing James gives us
- the perfect opportunity

For us to get ours

out of the way now.

- And you're not sad about that?

- Yes.

But I'm going to mask my pain

- by buzz-cutting my hair,
- joining a gym,

And nicknaming myself

"the island."

- But can we be friends?

- Friends it is.

- Um, maybe would could hug too?

I mean, friends hug, right?

- It is the friendly thing
- to do.

Ah, yep.

Friends it is.

- So are they back together?

- Hard to say.

- Must be one of those on-again,
- off-again things.

- Hmm.
- Ooh!

Kendall and Jo!

- The studio pushed up my scene.

- Gustavo's making us record
- a new song.

Both: Let's go.

- This was fun.

- Best one minute date ever.

That was so sweet.

- Oh, stop your blubbering.

- Thank you.

- Okay, with all the recent

big-time "love" around here,

I've decided to dump

the breakup song

for the boyfriend song.

- But I'm not anyone's
- boyfriend.

- Don't start.

Just sing.

♪ Your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

- ♪ have you ever had
- the feeling ♪

♪ Yeah, and there isn't anything

they could have said or done? ♪

- ♪ I don't know what kind

of guy that you prefer ♪

♪ but I know I gotta put myself

or worse ♪

- ♪ see, I think I got the kind

of love that you deserve ♪

- ♪ you're looking for
- a boyfriend ♪

- ♪ give me time,
- you know I'm gonna be there ♪

♪ Don't be scared to come,

put your trust in me ♪

♪ can't you see

all I really want to be ♪

- ♪ let me down,
- you know I'm coming right back ♪

♪ I don't care at all

what you done before ♪

- ♪ if you tell me where,

I'm waiting here ♪

♪ every day like

slumdog millionaire ♪

♪ bigger then the twilight

love affair ♪

- ♪ looking for,
- looking for ♪

- ♪ that you're looking for
- a boyfriend ♪

♪ Give me time,

you know I'm gonna be there ♪

♪ don't be scared to come,

put your trust in me ♪

♪ can't you see

all I really want to be ♪

♪ is your boyfriend,

can't fight that ♪

♪ let me down,

you know I'm coming right back ♪

♪ I don't care at all

what you done before ♪

♪ all I really want

is to be your ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ your boy, boy,

b-b-b-b-b-boyfriend ♪

♪ all I really want

is to be your ♪

- I can't believe that you were
- acting the whole time.

- Are you kidding me?

I hate shoe shopping,

I never cry, and I try not to be

too disgusting.

- Two corn dogs, please.

And you know the best part?

Is that now I get to know

the real you.

- Yeah.
- One more thing.

I hate corn dogs.

- Yeah.

This isn't going to work out.

- ♪ Step it up

get in gear ♪

♪ go for broke

make it clear ♪

- ♪ make it work,
- get it right ♪

♪ Go and make your luck

with the life you choose ♪

♪ if you want it all,

lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got

so you gotta live it big time ♪