Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 2, Episode 2 - Big Time Fans - full transcript
The boys struggle to live up to Carlos' promise to help a hometown friend become a singing sensation, but she's also the world's biggest and most destructive klutz. As Logan gets pulled into cleaning up her mess at the studio, James acquires an ardent fanboy half his size who wants nothing less than to inhabit James' big time life.
Guys.
Here's a little thing
we like to call...
Fan mail!
No way!
"Dear Kendell, can you please,
please, please, please,
please send a photo?"
"I love BTR, but mostly James."
Ha, she's wrong.
"Logan, you're my favorite.
P.S., please enjoy this
meatloaf I made for you."
Meatloaf!
"P.P.S., please give it to Carlos."
That is my meatloaf!
- No, you hate meatloaf!
Well I don't know about you guys,
but I'm sending my fan a photo.
Fan mail do's and don'ts.
Do keep it short and simple.
Write things like,
"you rock too" and "hey, thanks."
Do sign your name.
All fans love autographs.
Don't give out any personal
information or advice.
Otherwise some crazed fan will
show up on your front doorstep
and ask you to help make them famous.
Jenny Tinkler?
Guys, I did it!
I packed up everything,
and I moved to L.A.
So you can help me be
famous like you promised.
♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ where you go big time ♪
♪ what you know, what you feel ♪
♪ never quitin', make it real ♪
♪ when you're going big time ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ hey, hey listen to your heart now ♪
♪ hey, hey don't you feel the rush ♪
# oh-oh, oh-oh #
- # hey, hey #
♪ go and shake it up ♪
♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
♪ go and make your luck ♪
♪ with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it ♪
♪ big time ♪
So, fan girl,
which one of these lads
gave you advice,
and the address to my studio?
131, 132.
Yup, they're all here.
Get out. Ow, ow.
You told Jenny to come out to L.A.,
and we'll help her make
her dreams come true?
Not in those exact words.
"Jenny, come out to L.A., and we'll
help make your dreams come true."
I didn't think she would do it.
You wrote down the airline schedule
and turn-by-turn directions
to Rocque records.
Is the bad stuff over?
"P.S., we promise we'll help you."
What did we tell you about
making promises you can't keep?
But it's Jenny.
We love Jenny.
Plus, she said that
she was our biggest fan.
She did come all the way
to Chicago to come see us.
Yes, but it's Jenny.
You know what happens around Jenny.
Bad things, bad things.
Fine.
I'm gonna tell the girl who
we've been friends with,
since pre-k that you guys
don't want to help her,
and that she has to
go back to Minnesota.
Stop!
We are a team.
So if Carlos totally messes up
and promised we'd help her,
then we got to help her.
Yes.
Jenny!
Easy, Jenny, easy.
- Put it down. Put it down.
Wow, you do not hear trombone
playing like that every day.
Not if you can help it.
But it's time for the big finale!
Oh, no!
It's starting.
Sorry.
People say I'm a little accident prone.
Get this out of here before it
destroys the rest of my studio!
Jenny, come on. Let's go
make your dreams come true.
You guys are the best.
Stop it.
I can't believe I'm
at the famous Palmwoods!
Oh!
Sorry.
She's lot less clumsy
than I remember.
Yeah. But remember, we love Jenny.
Yeah, and remember the second grade
when she broke my arm playing marbles?
Or the fifth grade when she gave me
the first paper cut in history
that required surgery,
and then, eighth grade...
Lab partners.
It took almost a year
for your hair to grow back.
I'm out!
Here are your keys.
Have a Palmwoods day.
Ooh, what a nice stapler.
Put it down, Jenny!
Put that thing down.
Sorry about that, bitters.
This whistling is driving me crazy!
Oh, come on!
- Great news!
The super is on strike, but he said
that trombone girl's thermostat finale
probably shorted the fans.
What is this?
- It's a wrench,
and the manual.
We have to fix it ourselves.
- Yeah, I don't do wrench.
Hey, this whistling
is driving me crazy!
Who are you?
- Death smash.
The world's most destructive band.
When we rented out the rehearsal space,
we didn't request an
idiot in a track suit
and whistle noises.
Huh?
You told me to make more
money for the studio, so...
If you don't fix the fan right quick,
we're going to show you
how destructive we can get.
And fix it we can!
Whistle be gone soon there, mates.
We know exactly how to fix the problem.
What is this thing called again?
Whoa, you're James
diamond from Big Time Rush.
I'm your biggest fan.
I don't think so.
Many of my fans are well over five feet.
Can I have your autograph?
Would you like futuristic postman,
or overeager haberdasher?
Actually, I was just wondering
if you could sign this?
Anything for my biggest fan.
James, can you please tell me
how you got to be so awesome?
Well, I was told not
to give fans advice.
But I like your style.
Awesomeness is 15% tan,
40% good attitude, 20% bad attitude,
and 50% imported hair care products.
That's 125%.
You bet it is.
I would love to be just like you.
What do you say you go get
us some low fat soy shakes,
and I give you more
tips on being awesome?
You got it, Mr. diamond.
Be careful of fans.
It comes from the word "fanatic,"
as in, "nut job."
I get what you're saying.
You have a huge crush on me,
and you're jealous
of my new biggest fan.
I don't have a crush on you.
I'm just saying that
you're 30% ignorant,
30% arrogant,
and 40% idiot.
So be careful of fans.
She so has a giant crush on me.
Okay, so Jenny's dream is to
become a lead singer of a band.
And L.A. is full of bands
looking for lead singers.
Yeah, there's just one problem.
She can't sing!
Do you remember freshmen choir?
♪ and birds will fly! ♪
right, so just need to find a band
who's looking for a horrible singer,
who may have been sent from
Voltraz to destroy the earth.
Whoa!
That always happens
when I make toast.
Can I make you some?
We're good.
- We're fine.
It's so exciting being in L.A.
And being neighbors.
Aw.
Oh, and now we have connecting rooms!
She's gonna kill us!
Not if we kill her first.
Nobody is killing anyone.
We can do this.
We never break a promise.
So stop promising stuff!
Get rid of it.
Your friend has been here for two hours,
and so far has trashed an elevator,
broken a water main,
ruined my favorite pen,
and started two fires.
What?
Make that three fires.
What?
Awesomeness takes
perspiration and inspiration,
which is why I always work out...
In front of my heroes.
I couldn't agree more.
Whew!
All right, now it's off to the salon
to get my number one fan his
own personal hair care system.
Wow! My own system!
I'm telling you,
there's something not
right in that kid's head.
Trust me. I have an
eye for these things.
Oh, yeah?
What do you see about me?
Besides great muscle tone.
You're too trusting,
and if you're not careful,
the next thing you know,
super fan is smacking you upside
the head with a frying pan
and stealing your identity.
Or, your crush has
gotten bigger on me,
and now you're following me.
I don't have a crush on you!
Katie, your words do say "no,"
but your eyes say...
Flaven!
Why do I have to go in the ducts?
Because you fit!
Now disconnect the
bobbin from the stator...
In English!
I can't read manuals!
Just hit it with the wrench a few times.
Whoa!
Oh.
Well, the whistle's gone!
But now my studio is a wind tunnel!
No, no, no.
Don't worry.
We know someone that can
read manuals and fix stuff
and is really, really smart.
Call Logan.
- Got it.
So you guys wanted to
talk to me about my dreams?
Yes!
Gustavo needs me. I got to go.
Bye, Jenny!
Good luck.
Jenny, sometimes dreams change.
We wanted to be
professional hockey players,
and now we're singers.
You want to be a singer,
but maybe you should
be one of those people
who blows up buildings when
they need to make new ones.
But, guys, I'm a
much better singer now.
I've been taking lessons.
Want to hear?
Uh, sure.
Just give us one second.
Go ahead.
♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ I'm gonna shine for you ♪
♪ ah, ooh, ooh ♪
you're amazing!
Told you we'd make you a star!
Yes!
- Yeah!
Easy, Jenny!
Sorry.
We can fix that.
Come on.
Okay, let's look at the Palmwoods'
message board to find you a band.
Guitarist looking for female vocalist
to accompany him on Canadian tour.
I've always wanted to go to Canada!
And we've always wanted
you to go to Canada.
Call.
Hello, I'm calling about
your ad for a female vocalist.
You don't sound female, dude.
Guitar dude?
I've been saving up for
this van for, like, three years
and I can finally go on tour!
Will you come see us in concert?
We promise.
We'll try.
I'm a singer!
Canada, here we come!
No, no, don't touch that!
So close.
Oh, Logan! Great, you're here.
Yeah, am I singing a new song?
Close.
Whoa.
Oy!
Are you the fan fix-it bloke?
Yep.
Comb!
Spray!
Mirror!
Not frying pan, dude.
Mirror.
I cannot believe that
we forgot about the hole.
That is it!
Either she's out today, on you're out.
Well, you can't kick us out,
because we have the
lease thing... stuff.
Yeah. Well, I've hired a
lawyer to break your lease
and thug to throw you out!
Ironically, the huge guy is the lawyer.
We promised we would
help make her a singer.
Break your promise.
Or...
So, guys, what's next?
Uh, Jenny.
We, um.
Kendell?
Uh, Jenny...
There's really not much
else we can do to help you.
We're really sorry.
Oh.
I understand.
But you were so great
trying to help out a friend
who should probably
to back to Minnesota.
Why do I feel like I've been slammed
into the boards 19 times?
'Cause when you break a promise,
you can also break a heart.
Oooh, bumming, sadness.
Talk to me.
I promised a friend that
we'd help her become a singer,
which I will never do again.
And she's really accident prone,
she almost killed us,
and we really just want
to find her a singing job.
Preferably on another continent.
Oh, well have you tried calling
any international agents?
International... wha?
Yeah, there's a huge demand for
American talent all over the world.
We're an entertaining people.
You get the agent cards.
I'll get Jenny.
Move!
You are not gonna get away with this!
And what is it that you're
trying to get away with?
I'm gonna take your
place in Big Time Rush.
We tour the world, and I go solo,
start a movie career,
marry a super hot model,
buy a yacht and call
it the s.S. Awesome.
That's my plan!
Wait, they're gonna
ask what happened to me.
Ha!
Not after they read
this letter you signed
which says you're off to Antarctica
to save the caribou.
I'm three feet taller than you!
I'm gonna wear a lot of socks.
Darn, I taught you well.
♪ I wanna be famous ♪
hey, get back here!
♪ I wanna be the... ♪
they haven't invented a dog
cage that can hold James diamond!
Ooh, biscuits.
Hello, Jenny Tinkler.
Have a good night.
Hi, thank you so much
for coming this evening.
Jenny Tinkler. Enjoy the show.
Okay, so since you're
a bit accident prone,
and we'd putting L.A.
in danger by taking you
to see the international agents...
We're bringing the
international agents to you.
And you're sure this bubble wrap look
is the hottest thing in Europe?
Yes.
Remember, do it
just like we rehearsed.
Right! Just sing, and
don't touch a thing.
Break a leg.
No, don't break a leg.
Don't break anything.
And finally, an explosion
at the famous Palmwoods
has hospitalized Hollywood's
top international agents.
This news has sent global
stock markets plummeting
on fears of a shortage of American
night club talent overseas,
since we are such an
entertaining people.
Where's James?
You're looking at him.
And I know you like what you see.
I meant the real James.
This is prime sun tanning time,
and James should be in his favorite
chair destroying skin cells.
It's all in this letter James signed
which says he's going to
Antarctica to save the caribou.
First off, there are
no caribou in Antarctica.
And, second, tell me where
James is, you little freak.
I'm James now.
Get used to it, 'cause there's
nothin' you can do about it.
Ow, ow, ow!
He's in the basement. He's in the
basement, he's in the basement!
Thank you, Katie.
Oh, thank you so much.
He was so tiny and evil!
And if there anything I can do for you,
let me know.
Actually...
Can I have your autograph?
Anything for my biggest fan.
Great!
You just agreed to let me be
your manager when you go solo,
endorse a line of hair care
products to be developed later,
and swear that I don't, nor
have I ever, had a crush on you.
I've got to stop signing autographs.
Ah, no!
Whoa, whoa!
You are now officially
thrown out of the Palmwoods.
I never want to see her here again.
Have a Palmwoods day!
No, no, no.
My dreams are crushed, so
now I'll sleep on the streets.
Welcome to Hollywood.
Nobody is sleeping
on the streets tonight.
You can crash at Rocque records.
By "crash," he means "sleep."
Is that a dog biscuit?
You know, it's really quite tasty.
Is that bacon and cheese?
All right, I've boosted
the power off the main grid,
which should create a reverse thrust
from the building's primary fan,
which will then...
Just push the button!
Okay.
It's a little bit sensitive.
That's it!
Now it's time to fix that
fan death smash style!
Whoa, what's going on?
What's going on?
Shut it off!
Shut it off!
Shut it off!
I'm going to destroy you!
It worked!
Yeah, all right!
We did it, we did it, we did it!
Oy!
Please kill us gently.
Eh, we hated Johnny.
He made me smash guitars.
He made me
speak with a British accent.
But without him I guess we'll
have to cancel the European tour.
Unless an amazing lead singer
who's super destructive
just falls from the sky.
Sorry.
Jenny, are you okay?
Is she okay?
She's amazing!
Quick, Jenny, sing!
♪ I've been falling through the roof ♪
♪ I just fell down from the roof ♪
♪ whoa! ♪
you know, she can help us get that
younger audience we're looking for.
Welcome to death smash!
No, Jenny!
- Hey, hey, hey!
Come on, Jenny, let's go get
permission from your mum.
Well, it looks like this story
is wrapping up quite nicely.
And I will never, ever
over promise again.
I promise.
Buddy Simmons?
Hey, guys!
Carlos promised me he'd help
with my dream of becoming
a famous jazz tuba player.
He said he was our biggest fan.
Synch by Benfo.
Here's a little thing
we like to call...
Fan mail!
No way!
"Dear Kendell, can you please,
please, please, please,
please send a photo?"
"I love BTR, but mostly James."
Ha, she's wrong.
"Logan, you're my favorite.
P.S., please enjoy this
meatloaf I made for you."
Meatloaf!
"P.P.S., please give it to Carlos."
That is my meatloaf!
- No, you hate meatloaf!
Well I don't know about you guys,
but I'm sending my fan a photo.
Fan mail do's and don'ts.
Do keep it short and simple.
Write things like,
"you rock too" and "hey, thanks."
Do sign your name.
All fans love autographs.
Don't give out any personal
information or advice.
Otherwise some crazed fan will
show up on your front doorstep
and ask you to help make them famous.
Jenny Tinkler?
Guys, I did it!
I packed up everything,
and I moved to L.A.
So you can help me be
famous like you promised.
♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ where you go big time ♪
♪ what you know, what you feel ♪
♪ never quitin', make it real ♪
♪ when you're going big time ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ hey, hey listen to your heart now ♪
♪ hey, hey don't you feel the rush ♪
# oh-oh, oh-oh #
- # hey, hey #
♪ go and shake it up ♪
♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
♪ go and make your luck ♪
♪ with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it ♪
♪ big time ♪
So, fan girl,
which one of these lads
gave you advice,
and the address to my studio?
131, 132.
Yup, they're all here.
Get out. Ow, ow.
You told Jenny to come out to L.A.,
and we'll help her make
her dreams come true?
Not in those exact words.
"Jenny, come out to L.A., and we'll
help make your dreams come true."
I didn't think she would do it.
You wrote down the airline schedule
and turn-by-turn directions
to Rocque records.
Is the bad stuff over?
"P.S., we promise we'll help you."
What did we tell you about
making promises you can't keep?
But it's Jenny.
We love Jenny.
Plus, she said that
she was our biggest fan.
She did come all the way
to Chicago to come see us.
Yes, but it's Jenny.
You know what happens around Jenny.
Bad things, bad things.
Fine.
I'm gonna tell the girl who
we've been friends with,
since pre-k that you guys
don't want to help her,
and that she has to
go back to Minnesota.
Stop!
We are a team.
So if Carlos totally messes up
and promised we'd help her,
then we got to help her.
Yes.
Jenny!
Easy, Jenny, easy.
- Put it down. Put it down.
Wow, you do not hear trombone
playing like that every day.
Not if you can help it.
But it's time for the big finale!
Oh, no!
It's starting.
Sorry.
People say I'm a little accident prone.
Get this out of here before it
destroys the rest of my studio!
Jenny, come on. Let's go
make your dreams come true.
You guys are the best.
Stop it.
I can't believe I'm
at the famous Palmwoods!
Oh!
Sorry.
She's lot less clumsy
than I remember.
Yeah. But remember, we love Jenny.
Yeah, and remember the second grade
when she broke my arm playing marbles?
Or the fifth grade when she gave me
the first paper cut in history
that required surgery,
and then, eighth grade...
Lab partners.
It took almost a year
for your hair to grow back.
I'm out!
Here are your keys.
Have a Palmwoods day.
Ooh, what a nice stapler.
Put it down, Jenny!
Put that thing down.
Sorry about that, bitters.
This whistling is driving me crazy!
Oh, come on!
- Great news!
The super is on strike, but he said
that trombone girl's thermostat finale
probably shorted the fans.
What is this?
- It's a wrench,
and the manual.
We have to fix it ourselves.
- Yeah, I don't do wrench.
Hey, this whistling
is driving me crazy!
Who are you?
- Death smash.
The world's most destructive band.
When we rented out the rehearsal space,
we didn't request an
idiot in a track suit
and whistle noises.
Huh?
You told me to make more
money for the studio, so...
If you don't fix the fan right quick,
we're going to show you
how destructive we can get.
And fix it we can!
Whistle be gone soon there, mates.
We know exactly how to fix the problem.
What is this thing called again?
Whoa, you're James
diamond from Big Time Rush.
I'm your biggest fan.
I don't think so.
Many of my fans are well over five feet.
Can I have your autograph?
Would you like futuristic postman,
or overeager haberdasher?
Actually, I was just wondering
if you could sign this?
Anything for my biggest fan.
James, can you please tell me
how you got to be so awesome?
Well, I was told not
to give fans advice.
But I like your style.
Awesomeness is 15% tan,
40% good attitude, 20% bad attitude,
and 50% imported hair care products.
That's 125%.
You bet it is.
I would love to be just like you.
What do you say you go get
us some low fat soy shakes,
and I give you more
tips on being awesome?
You got it, Mr. diamond.
Be careful of fans.
It comes from the word "fanatic,"
as in, "nut job."
I get what you're saying.
You have a huge crush on me,
and you're jealous
of my new biggest fan.
I don't have a crush on you.
I'm just saying that
you're 30% ignorant,
30% arrogant,
and 40% idiot.
So be careful of fans.
She so has a giant crush on me.
Okay, so Jenny's dream is to
become a lead singer of a band.
And L.A. is full of bands
looking for lead singers.
Yeah, there's just one problem.
She can't sing!
Do you remember freshmen choir?
♪ and birds will fly! ♪
right, so just need to find a band
who's looking for a horrible singer,
who may have been sent from
Voltraz to destroy the earth.
Whoa!
That always happens
when I make toast.
Can I make you some?
We're good.
- We're fine.
It's so exciting being in L.A.
And being neighbors.
Aw.
Oh, and now we have connecting rooms!
She's gonna kill us!
Not if we kill her first.
Nobody is killing anyone.
We can do this.
We never break a promise.
So stop promising stuff!
Get rid of it.
Your friend has been here for two hours,
and so far has trashed an elevator,
broken a water main,
ruined my favorite pen,
and started two fires.
What?
Make that three fires.
What?
Awesomeness takes
perspiration and inspiration,
which is why I always work out...
In front of my heroes.
I couldn't agree more.
Whew!
All right, now it's off to the salon
to get my number one fan his
own personal hair care system.
Wow! My own system!
I'm telling you,
there's something not
right in that kid's head.
Trust me. I have an
eye for these things.
Oh, yeah?
What do you see about me?
Besides great muscle tone.
You're too trusting,
and if you're not careful,
the next thing you know,
super fan is smacking you upside
the head with a frying pan
and stealing your identity.
Or, your crush has
gotten bigger on me,
and now you're following me.
I don't have a crush on you!
Katie, your words do say "no,"
but your eyes say...
Flaven!
Why do I have to go in the ducts?
Because you fit!
Now disconnect the
bobbin from the stator...
In English!
I can't read manuals!
Just hit it with the wrench a few times.
Whoa!
Oh.
Well, the whistle's gone!
But now my studio is a wind tunnel!
No, no, no.
Don't worry.
We know someone that can
read manuals and fix stuff
and is really, really smart.
Call Logan.
- Got it.
So you guys wanted to
talk to me about my dreams?
Yes!
Gustavo needs me. I got to go.
Bye, Jenny!
Good luck.
Jenny, sometimes dreams change.
We wanted to be
professional hockey players,
and now we're singers.
You want to be a singer,
but maybe you should
be one of those people
who blows up buildings when
they need to make new ones.
But, guys, I'm a
much better singer now.
I've been taking lessons.
Want to hear?
Uh, sure.
Just give us one second.
Go ahead.
♪ whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ I'm gonna shine for you ♪
♪ ah, ooh, ooh ♪
you're amazing!
Told you we'd make you a star!
Yes!
- Yeah!
Easy, Jenny!
Sorry.
We can fix that.
Come on.
Okay, let's look at the Palmwoods'
message board to find you a band.
Guitarist looking for female vocalist
to accompany him on Canadian tour.
I've always wanted to go to Canada!
And we've always wanted
you to go to Canada.
Call.
Hello, I'm calling about
your ad for a female vocalist.
You don't sound female, dude.
Guitar dude?
I've been saving up for
this van for, like, three years
and I can finally go on tour!
Will you come see us in concert?
We promise.
We'll try.
I'm a singer!
Canada, here we come!
No, no, don't touch that!
So close.
Oh, Logan! Great, you're here.
Yeah, am I singing a new song?
Close.
Whoa.
Oy!
Are you the fan fix-it bloke?
Yep.
Comb!
Spray!
Mirror!
Not frying pan, dude.
Mirror.
I cannot believe that
we forgot about the hole.
That is it!
Either she's out today, on you're out.
Well, you can't kick us out,
because we have the
lease thing... stuff.
Yeah. Well, I've hired a
lawyer to break your lease
and thug to throw you out!
Ironically, the huge guy is the lawyer.
We promised we would
help make her a singer.
Break your promise.
Or...
So, guys, what's next?
Uh, Jenny.
We, um.
Kendell?
Uh, Jenny...
There's really not much
else we can do to help you.
We're really sorry.
Oh.
I understand.
But you were so great
trying to help out a friend
who should probably
to back to Minnesota.
Why do I feel like I've been slammed
into the boards 19 times?
'Cause when you break a promise,
you can also break a heart.
Oooh, bumming, sadness.
Talk to me.
I promised a friend that
we'd help her become a singer,
which I will never do again.
And she's really accident prone,
she almost killed us,
and we really just want
to find her a singing job.
Preferably on another continent.
Oh, well have you tried calling
any international agents?
International... wha?
Yeah, there's a huge demand for
American talent all over the world.
We're an entertaining people.
You get the agent cards.
I'll get Jenny.
Move!
You are not gonna get away with this!
And what is it that you're
trying to get away with?
I'm gonna take your
place in Big Time Rush.
We tour the world, and I go solo,
start a movie career,
marry a super hot model,
buy a yacht and call
it the s.S. Awesome.
That's my plan!
Wait, they're gonna
ask what happened to me.
Ha!
Not after they read
this letter you signed
which says you're off to Antarctica
to save the caribou.
I'm three feet taller than you!
I'm gonna wear a lot of socks.
Darn, I taught you well.
♪ I wanna be famous ♪
hey, get back here!
♪ I wanna be the... ♪
they haven't invented a dog
cage that can hold James diamond!
Ooh, biscuits.
Hello, Jenny Tinkler.
Have a good night.
Hi, thank you so much
for coming this evening.
Jenny Tinkler. Enjoy the show.
Okay, so since you're
a bit accident prone,
and we'd putting L.A.
in danger by taking you
to see the international agents...
We're bringing the
international agents to you.
And you're sure this bubble wrap look
is the hottest thing in Europe?
Yes.
Remember, do it
just like we rehearsed.
Right! Just sing, and
don't touch a thing.
Break a leg.
No, don't break a leg.
Don't break anything.
And finally, an explosion
at the famous Palmwoods
has hospitalized Hollywood's
top international agents.
This news has sent global
stock markets plummeting
on fears of a shortage of American
night club talent overseas,
since we are such an
entertaining people.
Where's James?
You're looking at him.
And I know you like what you see.
I meant the real James.
This is prime sun tanning time,
and James should be in his favorite
chair destroying skin cells.
It's all in this letter James signed
which says he's going to
Antarctica to save the caribou.
First off, there are
no caribou in Antarctica.
And, second, tell me where
James is, you little freak.
I'm James now.
Get used to it, 'cause there's
nothin' you can do about it.
Ow, ow, ow!
He's in the basement. He's in the
basement, he's in the basement!
Thank you, Katie.
Oh, thank you so much.
He was so tiny and evil!
And if there anything I can do for you,
let me know.
Actually...
Can I have your autograph?
Anything for my biggest fan.
Great!
You just agreed to let me be
your manager when you go solo,
endorse a line of hair care
products to be developed later,
and swear that I don't, nor
have I ever, had a crush on you.
I've got to stop signing autographs.
Ah, no!
Whoa, whoa!
You are now officially
thrown out of the Palmwoods.
I never want to see her here again.
Have a Palmwoods day!
No, no, no.
My dreams are crushed, so
now I'll sleep on the streets.
Welcome to Hollywood.
Nobody is sleeping
on the streets tonight.
You can crash at Rocque records.
By "crash," he means "sleep."
Is that a dog biscuit?
You know, it's really quite tasty.
Is that bacon and cheese?
All right, I've boosted
the power off the main grid,
which should create a reverse thrust
from the building's primary fan,
which will then...
Just push the button!
Okay.
It's a little bit sensitive.
That's it!
Now it's time to fix that
fan death smash style!
Whoa, what's going on?
What's going on?
Shut it off!
Shut it off!
Shut it off!
I'm going to destroy you!
It worked!
Yeah, all right!
We did it, we did it, we did it!
Oy!
Please kill us gently.
Eh, we hated Johnny.
He made me smash guitars.
He made me
speak with a British accent.
But without him I guess we'll
have to cancel the European tour.
Unless an amazing lead singer
who's super destructive
just falls from the sky.
Sorry.
Jenny, are you okay?
Is she okay?
She's amazing!
Quick, Jenny, sing!
♪ I've been falling through the roof ♪
♪ I just fell down from the roof ♪
♪ whoa! ♪
you know, she can help us get that
younger audience we're looking for.
Welcome to death smash!
No, Jenny!
- Hey, hey, hey!
Come on, Jenny, let's go get
permission from your mum.
Well, it looks like this story
is wrapping up quite nicely.
And I will never, ever
over promise again.
I promise.
Buddy Simmons?
Hey, guys!
Carlos promised me he'd help
with my dream of becoming
a famous jazz tuba player.
He said he was our biggest fan.
Synch by Benfo.