Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 14 - Friend Con/Flimflammed - full transcript

[Cricket] So, grass,
you dare to stand in my way?

[fighting grunts]

Ha ha! Success! I rule.

Aah! Street goblin!

Oh, wait, it's just an ugly dog.

[coughs]

Where'd you come from, buddy?

[whimpers]

Aw, you must be lost.

You don't live
too far from here.

Better get ya home
before Tilly tries to keep ya.



[Tilly] Oh, I sense
an unfamiliar canine energy!

Come on, hurry! Let's go!

Hello! Hello, hello, hello!

Hello? Oh, my gosh!

You found my dog!

Sorry his face is all messed up,

but he was already like that
when I got him,

I swear.

Oh, he's supposed to be
like this.

[coughs]

Since my lost dog posters
promised a reward...

- A reward?
- Here ya go.

One hundred dollars,
as promised.

[stammering]



- Thanks! Bye!
- [stammers]

I didn't even know money
could go that high!

Cricket Green
has a hundred dollars!

♪ I got a hundred dollars! ♪

♪ Look at all my money! ♪

♪ Who's that guy on the bill?
Nobody knows ♪

Get down from there!

Sorry.

♪ I got a hundred dollars! ♪

Psst! Hey, moneybags!

- Over here.
- Huh?

Be careful waving
your money around like that.

You might attract
some shady characters.

Hey, thanks, mister!
Name's Cricket Green,
what's yours?

It's, uh...
It's, uh...
I'm John.

- Yeah, yeah, that's a name.
- Yes, it is!

You know what's better
than a hundred dollars?

Two hundred dollars.

Wow, that is better!

Gosh, now this
one hundred dollar bill

just looks like junk.

Listen, you give me
your hundred dollars,

I give you a product to sell.

- Product to sell?
- Sell some product,
double your money.

Hmm... "Skull Slimmers."

All right, let's see here...

[grunts] OK...

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Oh, it hurts!

That's how you know
it's workin'!

OK. [grunts]

Do you really think
I can sell these?

Listen, most people
aren't as, uh, ya know,

street smart as you and me.

They're easy marks.

Just tell 'em
whatever they wanna hear

and these will
practically sell themselves.

I don't know...
Isn't that kinda like lying?

Nah, that's just
how business works.

So, what do ya say?

Double my money, huh?

- This picture's broken!
- It's a puzzle, Gramma.

So now I'm supposed to do
the picture-maker's job
for him?

[Cricket]
Attention, family!

Get on my good side now,
because I'm about to be rich!

I present to you...
Skull Slimmers!

These babies are gonna
revolutionize heads!

Just, uh, put it on your head

and, uh,
twist the spinny thingy.

Like this?

This product is subpar.

Subpar or not,

I'm gonna sell 'em
for a big fat profit!

Seems a bit dishonest.

Tilly, you just don't understand
how business works.

And you think you do?

Wake up, boy,
ya been flimflammed!

- What's that now?
- Bamboozled!

Hoodwinked! Scammed.

How dare you!

I'm Cricket Green!

I'm no patsy, I'm a pats-er!

I'ma sell so many
of these Skull Slimmers,

I-I'll be able
to buy a new Gramma!

Yeah! And a new sister!

And they'll
appreciate my genius!

I always wanted a sister.

[Cricket]
Citizens of Big City!

Are you tired of hats
that don't fit?

Are you dissatisfied
with the diameter of your dome?

Tiny heads
are the hot new trend!

Don't be the last kid
on the block

with a big ol' noggin!

Benny, I'm looking
in your direction!

People are counting on you

to get their skulls ready
for bikini season!

So... what do ya say?

Uh, no thanks.
This is junk.

I don't appreciate you preying
on my perceived insecurities.

There's no shortcuts
to a slim head!

Only diet and exercise!

Aw, come on!

[Cricket]
Ugh, I don't get it!

Why won't people
buy this garbage?

John made it sound so simple...

Just tell 'em
what they wanna hear

and they'll practically
sell themselves.

Wait!
Is that what I wanted to hear?

Am I the easy mark?

Aw, Gramma was right!

A hundred smackeroos
right down the drain!

Sorry, Katelynn,
I can't afford to go
to the concert with you guys.

Have fun without me.
[sighs]

Money problems are the worst.

Tell me about it! I just
poured a bunch of money

into these Skull Slimmers.

The guy said
they'd sell themselves!

Sell... themselves?

That's what the guy said.

He told me I'd double my money.

Whoa! Wait!

- Can I get in on this?
- Uh, what now?

If I double my money
I can go to that concert
with my friends!

Wait, you want
to buy my Skull Slimmers?

Yeah! How much
for the whole box?

[clears throat] Well,
since we're such good pals,

I'd be willin'
to let them go for...

two hundred dollars?

Sold!

You really think
I can double my money?

I did.

This puzzle's impossible!
What's it even supposed to be?

It's a picture
called "Starless Night."

Why would you pick that?

Oh, family!

Guess who's not a sucker
after all?

I sold the whole lot!

Kiss my filthy bare feet!
Owie!

Who on earth is dumb enough
to buy that junk?

Why, if you must know,
our dear friend Gloria

saw the true value
of Skull Slimmers.

You scammed Gloria?

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

I simply offered her
the same business opportunity

I enjoyed.

- Scam!
- It's not a scam!

Gloria just has to find
someone dumber than her
to buy them!

But then what about that person?

[grunting]
We don't even know them.

Well, be forewarned, Cricket.

The deceitful lifestyle
is a dark and endless void.

Much like this puzzle!

Which we will now have
to start over because of you.

Gah! At least
let me do the edge pieces.

There are none!

Like outer space, this puzzle

is amorphous
and without borders.

[sputters] Gah!

Listen, aren't you interested in

a thinner, lighter skull?

I just wanted a refill!

No, wait! A think skull
is a healthy skull!

Hey, Gloria!
How's the sales going?

Cricket Green!

What pack of lies
did you sell me?

That's a heck of a way
to say good morning
to your li'l business buddy.

Nobody wants
these stupid things.

You totally conned me!

Con is such a strong word.

I never said
people didn't want any...

and you didn't ask
if people did.

So in a way,
didn't we con each other?

- [screaming]
- [grunts]

Gloria, please,
let's just talk this out!

[screaming]

Aah! Stay back, Gloria!

You know, if you put
this kind of energy

into your sales pitch...

- [grunts]
- [screams]

[grunts] Aah!

Come here, Cricket!

[screams]

Oh, man,
Gloria's finally lost it!

[grunts]

Ahh, home free.

- [grunts]
- Somebody save me!

- [grunting]
- [screaming]

Huh?

Cricket Green,
you come back here!

He probably deserves it.

Gloria, no, please!
I'm your friend!

Enough! Cricket,
just give me my money back
and this all stops.

I spent it
already! Gah!

What?

I may, or may not, have decided

to spend the money
you gave me on this.

You spent all of my money
on a wedding cake?

It's just the biggest cake
I could buy.

I don't care
if it's for a wedding.

Then what are those?

Well, excuse me if I wanted
to feel special on my big day.

[grunts]

Cricket,
that two hundred dollars

was from my rent fund.

If I don't make my money back,
I won't be able to pay my rent!

Oh. Gee, I-I didn't know that.

Cake?

Ha.

[sighs]

I'm really sorry, Gloria.

I was just so desperate
not to look like a fool

when I got flimflammed

that I ended up
passin' my burden on to you.

Yeah, well, scamming
someone else isn't the best way
to get out of a scam, dummy.

[gasps] Or is it?

I think I know a way
to get your money back.

But we'll need some help.

Ahh. Really brightens up
the office.

- [Gloria] Hey!
- [gasps]

Would you happen to be John?

Might bees, might beesn't.

I'm Gloria Hightower,
executive VP of acquisitions
for ThingieCorp Incorporated.

Heard you're the man to see
about Skull Slimmers.

Well, you're in luck.
I got tons of 'em!

Hmm... No, this isn't
the model I'm looking for.

- The model? What do you mean?
- Haven't you heard?

There's a new version
of the Skull Slimmer

that makes you super smart.

If you had the new model,

I would have
paid handsomely for them.

Someone's selling Skull Slimmers
that make you smarter?

Boy, I sure was
a real dumb-dumb before
I bought my Skull Slimmer Plus!

I purchased mine
with every dollar I had!

Ho!

Hey, kids,
where'd you get those?

Why, from a young chap

down the alley
on Grantham Avenue.

He bought it!

Yes, well, your acting
has really improved.

Ooh. Huh? It's that kid.

Yes, young man.
Here is my life savings
for the Skull Slimmer.

[whispers] You owe me.

Kid, I gotta hand it to ya.

You were able to turn
that junk I sold ya

into somethin'
people actually want.

But now I'm gonna need
those Skull Slimmers back

with whatever mods
you made to them.

Here's your hundred bucks back.

Sorry, John. The price
has gone up. [slurps]

Fine. Two hundred bucks.

Eh, nah. [slurps]

Let me save us both some time.
What do ya say?

That's a lot of money.

- So we got a deal?
- Absolutely.

Fantastic. Oops.

Whoopsie-daisy.

- Here ya go.
- Thank you, sir.

Pleasure doin' business with ya!

What the...? Hey!

This is just a bunch of napkins!

- Pete never pays full price!
- I thought your name was John!

Yeah, that's what I meant.
John never pays full price!

- [laughs, gasps]
- Stop right there!

Agent William Walker,
Fraudulent Business Division.

-[gasps]
-Just as I suspected.
Skull Slimmers.

Somebody's been selling these
all over town under false claims
that they'll make you smarter.

He sold these to me!
I'm the victim here!

- That true?
- Gee, I'm just a kid,
holdin' a bag of napkins.

Nothin' illegal about holdin' a
bag of napkins, right, Officer?

Checks out.
Hope you like jail!

Wait, wait, wait!
If I get away,
it's all yours.

In all my years on the job,
I've never taken a bribe!

Always wanted to see
what it's like.

Go on, get outta here.

You'll never see me again!

Nice work, "Agent Walker."

Finally,
theater classes pay off!

Yeah! We flim-flammed
the flim-flam man!

- Here. This is for you.
- What?

But, Cricket,
don't you want your share?

Nah, I feel bad
for scamming ya, Gloria.

I even feel kinda bad
for scamming John. Or Pete?

- Yeah, don't.
- You're right. I don't.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go to a concert
and pay my rent. Whoa!

Uh, do you guys have any more
of those Skull Slimmers?

♪ I've got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got bit
by a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Bit by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
in seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪♪