Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Fill Bill/Critterball Crisis - full transcript

♪♪ [whistling]

♪♪

♪ One, two,
one, two, three, four ♪

♪ La la la la,
la la la la ♪

♪♪

♪ La la la la ♪

♪♪ [whistling]

[hen clucks]

[Bill and kids] Wowwwww!

[Cricket] We didn't have
restaurants like this
back in the country!

I don't like it.
Feels too city-fied!



That's the point!

I figured we'd all enjoy

a genuine Big City
dining experience!

Plus I've got a gift card,
so it's free!

Niiiiice.

Hi there!
Welcome to Sea Fusion!

-Howdy!
-Ooh!

Where are you all
visiting from?

Visiting from?

[chuckles] Oh, no,
we live here.

And we'll die here, too!

Cricket, please.

Alrighty then,
if you'll follow me,

I've got a table
for you.



What the heck kinda food
is sea fusion?

It's takin' two different types
of food and blendin' them
together to make one.

Like if you put
an egg on a donut?

Yeah, but with fish.

[gasps] I want it!

Here you are.

[all straining]

Here are your menus,

and your waiter
will be with you shortly.

[Bill and kids]
Ooooooh!

I'm gonna order the craziest,
wackiest thing here!

That won't be hard.
It's all garbage!

[man] Ow!

What kind of restaurant
doesn't serve pizza?!

They do! In smoothie form!

See? The Shrimpy-
Pizzy Smoothie.

Yuh! Pizza's for eatin',
not drinkin'!

Huh?

What the...

Where have I seen
that trident before?

Good evening, folks.

Have you decided
on what you'd like to order?

Yes, I think I'll have
the fish and chips.

Ah, yes, a popular dish
for tourists.

No, now ya see,
I'm not a tourist.

I live in Big City.

Oh, really?

Then in that case,
you should order what
all the locals order.

The Seafusion Tsunami!

A 12-course meal
of our most creative
sea-fusions.

Well, then, as a local,
I will have that.

Very well.
And for you, sweetie?

I will have
the Seahorse Salad.

And I'll have
the phony baloney
or whatever.

Ah, fantastic.

Our phony baloney comes
with two sides.

-Gaaaagh!
-Listen, buddy.

I'm gonna shoot
straight with you here.

The stuff on the menu
looks a bit tame.

I'm lookin'
for somethin' wild.

Off menu. You follow?

Oh, I follow.

Janine?

This gentleman
will be having
the Sea Monster Burger.

[gasps] Mm-hmm.

I'll be back
with your drinks.

Did you guys hear that?!
A sea monster!

Soon to be in my tummy!

That's it! I remember!

I knew that trident
looked familiar.

It was mine!

-[thunder]
-Back when I was
sailing abroad,

my trusty trident and I tamed
all manner of sea creature!

Until those protesters
made us stop.

After that, it went missin'.

You all enjoy
your dinner of wackadoo.

I'm gonna go get it back!

Ma, please don't
cause a scene.

Here's
your first course, sir.

Our sushi starter.

And here
are your chopsticks.

As a local, surely you know
how to use chopsticks.

Don't you?

Oh. Uhh... ha ha!

Of course! Thank you!

[struggling]

Ow!

Sir? I see
you're having trouble.

If you like,
we do provide a service.

Our trained
chopstick professionals

can assist you in getting
your food into your mouth.

It's a big hit
with the tourists.

I think I'll be just fine
on my own, thank you.

Of course!

[grunting]

Ha! I did it!

Not too bad, eh?

[groaning]

Many tourists are put off
by the bitter jellyfish jelly,

but not us locals,
right? [chuckles]

Mmmmmm!

Fantastic! I'll get
your next course.

[gulps] Ohh!

Ohh, watchin' you eat is
givin' me the hunger pains!

[Ted] Sorry for the wait.
Here's your meal.

-Finally!
-I hope you enjoy your...

Sea Monster Burger!

Well,
I wanted to get wild.

So let's get wild.

Sorry, fella.
Nothin' personal.

Food chain and what not.

Hm. Now let me see.

What's the best way
to do this?

Ahhh...

Oh, no!

[struggling] Aah!

Aaaah!

I got you now!

-[slaps]
-[grunting]

[groans] Aah!

[gasps]

You're showin' me mercy?

You're all right,
sea monster!

How's your dinner,
Cricket?

I eat him, Tilly.

This li'l feller's
gained my utmost respect.

You've lost a meal,
but you've gained a friend.

I shall call him Ringo.

From now on, all octopi
are friends of Cricket Green!

Order up!
One Sea Monster Burger!

[gasp]
That could be Ringo's mom
or dad or ex-girlfriend!

We have to go save 'em!

[grunts]

All right... time to
sneak up and take it back,

sneaky style.

-[grunting]
-[place settings clatter]

Time for baby to come home.

Whoa there!
So sorry, ma'am!

But our decor is not meant
to be played with.

However, if you're
craving some fun,

we do offer
some table-side
entertainment!

-[egg sizzling]
-[patrons] Ooh! Ahh!

Meh... Whatever...

I need a different approach.

Oh, boy.

All right,
up next we have

our famous whole-wheat,
whole-fish taco.

Wow, it really is
an entire fish.

Uh-uh. Hold on.

We're supposed to cover it
in our traditional
fish-milk powder.

Who doesn't love fish-milk?

Ahh...

Oh, yeah. I love it.

[Ted] Your next course,
our famous spagett-eel.

Just like Mom used to make.

[Ted] Our blow fish will
surely blow you away.

Sooo good.

Huh?!

I have to say,
I'm pretty impressed.

But let's
see if you can handle...

dessert.

I'll be back in a minute!

[whimpers]

Terry, will you hurry up
and order already?

I've already got my food!

-Hello.
-Oh, my gosh!

-I'm an employee.
-Hello.

I'm here to tell you
some fun facts about your meal.

Oh, my gosh, wonderful!

Isn't that wonderful,
Terry?

Great!
Let's get started!

Did you know octos
are beautiful and cute?

[Alexander] Oh, my gosh,
I had no idea.

-Uhhhh...
-What is it?

Check out these diagrams!
Aren't they great?

Aah! Oof!

Tilly! Let's go!

That concludes
the presentation.

Thank you, bye!

Well,
she was really sweet.

What the--?!
Terry, why'd you eat
all my octopus?!

[groaning]

You can do this, Bill.

You gotta show 'em you're just
like everyone else in Big City.

Your dessert, sir.

-Voilà!
-Huh?

The Seven Seas Seven-Layer
Poseidon Slayer.

Good luck.

[gulps]

[both panting]

All right, Tilly,
let's send 'em home!

Whoa there!
These don't belong here!

They belong in the tank!

Tank!?

Oh, good golly,
Tilly.

We've gotta save 'em all!

I'm comin' for you,
trident.

[grunting]

Ooh!
Are you a performer?

Is this a show?

You bet yer tuchus it is.

Yee-haw!

[patrons] Ooh!

Gotcha!

-Hey!
-Biscuits!

Get back here!

Oooooh! Oof!

[groans] Huh?

[dramatic music stingers]

Oh, so you
wanna fight, huh?

-Fight? No!
-What are you...

I'll swab the deck
with ya!

Aah!

[gasps] What the--

Where am I?

Huh?

Beautiful!

This place is so... peaceful.

[deep echoing voice]
Bill...

Who said that?

I did.

Who are you?

I... am a fish.

Oh.

But who are you,
Bill?

Well, I'm a fish, too.

Hmm. Are you sure?

I don't really know anymore.

Hey, there are
a lot of different
creatures in the sea.

Not all of us are fish,
and that's okay.

It's our differences that make
the ocean a wonderful place.

You don't have to change
who you are to fit in.

I don't?

[gasps]

You fit in
because you're different.

Wow. Thanks, fish!

Goodbye, Bill.

[gasping]

[coughing]

I belong in Big City!

All right! Be free!

We have granted
your independence!

Good luck out there,
you squishy sea spiders!

Hey... hey!

What the heck do you
think you're doing?!

Excuse me, waiter?

I've got a bone
to pick with you.

I came here wanting
to try new things,

but instead I got treated
like I don't belong.

Okay, fella,
back to where you belong.

And that felt
like a slap in the face.

Ooh!
[straining] Yaah!

I don't need to change
who I am to fit into Big City,

'cause I already fit in!

This is what you get
for ruinin' pizza!

Ooh! [grunting]

So I'm proud to finally
come clean and tell you.

I don't like the food here,

and I won't be finishing
my dessert.

Because it's gross.

Well, good riddance!

The intricacies
of sea fusion are wasted

on a country bumpkin
like you!

[patrons screaming]

And another thing-- Aaah!

I shouldn't have...

put off those...

swimming lessons!

Bye, Ringo!

Wait. Bye, Ringo.

Hold on. Bye, Ringo.

Wheeeee!

[Cricket] Grab on!

We did it, Tilly!

We saved the octopuses!

We're hero-- My goodness.

[patrons gasping
and groaning]

[woman]
What just happened?

[groaning]

You and your family
are banned for life!

I'm so sorry. I--

Get out!

[whimpers]

[all panting]

I guess we all learned
an important lesson,
right, family?

-[Tilly] I don't think so.
-[Gramma] Nah, not really.

I saved an octopus.

This isn't even my trident
after all.

But I'm keepin' it
'cause it's awesome.

Oh.

Well, you guys wanna
go get some pizza?

Yeah!

All right, Tilly!
Give me one straight down
the middle and don't hold back!

-[grunts]
-[grunts]

[Cricket]
Home run!

Here's your latte, sir.

[both scream]

Oh, I am so, so sorry.

Come on, Jeffrey the scarf.
We have a scathing review
to write!

[Cricket]
Did you see that, guys? [laughs]

I can't believe it! Home run!

I'm making critterball history!

[oinks]

[chuckles]

[both grunt]

[coughs]
Good hustle, Tilly.

Thank you.
Anything goes in critterball.

Man, I've been watching
this game for about an hour
and I still don't get it.

Go team!

Hey! You kids better keep these
on your side of the fence!

And a good day to you too,
Gloria!

Don't you
"Good day, Gloria" me.

It would be a good day
if this ball hadn't just
torpedoed into the cafe!

Oh, no worries,
home runs like that
are super rare.

Besides, what's a critterball
or two between neighbors?

Keep it on your side
of the fence.

Obviously Gloria has no idea
how important critterball is.

So... game on!

♪♪

[grunts]

[grunts, chuckles]

Uh-oh. Looks like we're
all out of critterballs.

Let's go see Gloria!

Gloria!

Ooh, my...

Boy, I hope she ain't too mad.

Gloria! Just the person
I was looking for!

Can we please have
our critterballs back?

Excuse me?

Our critterballs!

Would be real nice
to get them back!

Let me fill you in
on a secret.

Okay!

I don't ever wanna see you
or your stupid face again.

What the hey diddle diddle
is her problem?!

Well, she did kinda ask us
not to kick any more balls
over the fence.

We kicked a lot of balls
over that fence, Cricket.

I mean, sure, okay, if you
wanna get technical about it.

She just needs
a little convincing is all.

Just watch, a little charm
from ol' Cricket Green,

and we'll have our critterballs
back in no time.

-Well, hi, Gloria!
-Get out.

Well, hold on now.
I'm not here to cause trouble!

See? I'm a payin' customer!

Keep the change.

Okay... what'll it be?

Oh, some of that jitter juice.

You know, some of that
mornin' thunder.

A little bit
of the devil's bean brew.

All right,
here's a cup of dark roast.

Oh, you know me so well.

[slurps]

[gags]

[gulps]

Neato.

Hmm...

Hey, I like your hat.

Every employee has one.

But that apron is all you,
right?

Nope. Standard issue.

You got big teeth though,
and that's good for spittin'!

Uh, excuse me?

Uh, uh, uh...

I like how you decorate!

What a fun antenna thingy!

Oh, no, no, no,
don't touch that.

This is the Eiffel Tower.

Someday I'm going to live
in Paris near the real thing.

Hmm...

Well, I don't know nothin'
about Paris.

Tell me more.

Well, I've only ever
read about it.

But simply put,
everything seems better there.

The food is spectacular,

the art is unparalleled...

and the architecture
is breathtaking.

[honks]

Bonjour.

It's a place where people
are kind and poetic.

A place that recognizes
true talent...

and embraces the romantic!

[speaking French]

I have no idea
what you just said...

but yes, Marcel,
yes, I'll marry you!

[speaking French]

This little reminder
keeps me going.

Work now, fun later.

See now? This is great.

Look at us. We're connecting.

Now can we have
our critterballs back, please?

Did you seriously just try to
emotionally manipulate me into
giving your critterballs back?

Uh...

Okay, okay, I can see your busy.

But if I could just get
my critterballs back--

Oh, you'll get
those critterballs back,

over my dead body!

Aah!

My spleen!

All right, here comes
the pitch, Cricket.

[grunts] Ow!

Dang, that smarts.

Doesn't Gloria
see how important
critterball is to us?

-[sighs]
-[hen clucks]

There, there, brother.

Here, eat this.

Uh, thank you.

How are we supposed to finish
our legendary game?

[clucks]

Hey, you can't just take that--

That's it!

I tried bein' friendly
and that got us nowhere.

If Gloria won't give
our critterballs back,

then we'll just have
to take 'em back.

All we need is a diversion.

Consider it done.

Rupert!
You broke my heart!

Ugh, what now?

You put my heart
in a meat grinder,

and then you shaped it
into patties,

and ya threw 'em
on the grill!

Well, I ain't
just gonna stand here

and eat my heart burgers
with no bun!

You held hands with
my identical twin sister
and I'll never forgive you!

What is this?

Yeah, I don't know,
but I can't look away.

[evil laughter]

What do you have to say
for yourself, Rupert?!

Uh... uh... line.

You can't even come up
with your own apology?!

-[cat meows]
-Shh, shh.

Come on,
I need a do-over.

There are no do-overs
in love!

Critterballs, critterballs...

If I was a bag of critterballs,
where would I be?

Ah-ha! There you are!

[grunts]

Aah! Oof!

Rats!
Gloria's one step ahead of me!

There's gotta be some way
to get our critterballs back.

[evil laughter]

Bingo bango.

Out! Out, out, out, out, out!

[groans] Lousy kids.

Hmm? My Eiffel Tower?

My Eiffel Tower!

Where is it?!

-It's gotta be here somewhere!
-Ow!

[bell dings]

Ooh.

[Cricket]
Hello, Gloria.

It would seem that we both have
something the other wants.

I propose a trade:

My critterballs
for your antenna thingy.

It's called the Eiffel Tower!

Gloria.

Cricket.

May I see a critterball?

I need to know they're safe.

[groans]

See? Your stupid balls are fine.

Where's my tower?

Remy.

See, it's safe.

Oh, thank goodness.
Now please, hand it over.

Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Toss me a ball first.

Ugh, fine...

-Uh...
-[gasps]

Oh, my gosh, Gloria,
I'm so sorry!

No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

You... You're a horrible,
horrible little boy!

I didn't mean to, honest!
It was an accident!

[groans]

Now, Gloria, we can--

Aah!

That's fair, I broke
something of yours

and you broke
something of mine.

So we're even now, right?
Right?

Guys! This is bad!
How did this get so bad?

I think it had something to do
with you shattering
that lady's dreams.

[gasps] The critterballs!

She's killing them!

We gotta put an end to this.

Assemble the team!

[rumbling]

[moos]

Gloria! Show yourself!

Cricket! Get those filthy,
disgusting monsters
out of the cafe!

-First of all, how dare you.
-[moos]

Second of all, we'll leave
just as soon as you give us
back our critterballs.

Fine. You want 'em? You got 'em!

Uh-oh.

[groans]

Critters, attack!

-[bleats]
-[gasps]

-[oinks]
-[clucks]

-Hiya!
-[grunts]

It's go time.

[grunts]

[yells]

[grunting]

-[grunts]
-Whee!

[chuckles]

[grunts]

[grunts]

-Beans!
-[groans]

Die!

Huh?

Ha! You're out!

Shoot. Guess I am.

Anyone else feelin' brave?!

[maniacal laughter]

You had a good run, Remy.

Aah!

[oinks]

[grunts]

End of the line, sweater vest!

No, no, no, no, no!

Aah!

Two down, one to go...

[bell dings]

[growls]

Uh, Ms. Boss!
I mean, Ms. Cho!

I-I didn't think
you'd be in today!

[growls]

-[grunts]
-[clucks]

I can explain! I can fix this!

[growls]

No, please! You can't fire me,
I need this job!

[Gloria] Without it,
I'll never make it to Paris!

Paris! Paris!

Oh, my gosh.
Paris and critterball
are the same thing!

Please, just give me
another chance!

Um, Ms. Boss Lady?
Ma'am?

Listen, this is all my fault.

Gloria had nothing to do
with it. Sorry, Gloria.

[Cricket] I got carried away
thinking something I cared about

was more important
than what you cared about.

So, Ms. Boss Lady,
don't fire Gloria.

Instead, fire me!

Cricket, that's nice...
but it doesn't make any sense.

No, listen! You could hire me
and once I work off the damages,
then ya fire me!

[inhales]

[exhales]

Yes! Oh, my gosh!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I got a job!

[growls]

[bell dings]

[grunts]

[bell dings]

Huh, I guess this
makes us coworkers!

[sighs] Yep.

Here you go, sir. Thanks for
stopping by Big Coffee.

[Cricket] Gloria. Hey, Gloria.
Gloria. Gloria, over here.

[groans] What?!

Ta-da!

Le Eiffel Tower 2.0!

Oh, that's sweet.

Thanks, I thought
you'd like it.

Mm...

I'll make another one!
A better one!

Get back to work!

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet
and got bit by 100 flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch
and scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
at seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow,
I'll do it all again ♪