Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Welcome Home/Raccooned - full transcript

Cricket Green and his family move from the country to Big City to live with Gramma. Cricket and Bill accidentally disturb some raccoons in the garage, and they invade the house!

( whistling )

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Movin' to Gramma's house,
oh, movin' to Gramma's house ♪

♪ Oh, we're movin' to
Gramma's... ♪

- ♪ House... ♪
- ( coughing )

Bug flew in my mouth.

Oh, man, I am
super excited
about the city.

Livin' in the country
was great and all,

but I was
a big fish
in a little pond.

I'm ready for
a bigger pond.

It'll be great
to see Gramma again.

"It'll be great
to see you, too, Tilly,

and give you
lots of chocolates."

I know things have been tough
since losin' the farm,

but livin' in the city will
be a fresh start for us.

It'll be great.
In fact, it's gotta be great.

If this doesn't work out,
I don't know where we'll end up.

- Papa.
- Thanks, sweetie.

Dad, don't worry about it.

I know a lot
about the city.

In fact, you might
call me an expert.

Cricket Green,
city expert.

But you've never
been to the city.

I flipped through
a book once.

Did I miss our exit?

Kids, help Dad out.
Help Dad out!

Dad, there it is.
Pull over here, Dad.
I'll help.

Cricket, get your
hands off the wheel.

( blows whistle )

Boy, thing sure are
different around here
since I was a boy.

This area used to be
all rollin' farmland.

Yes, sir, this is
the place for me.

BOTH: Wow!

It's more beautiful
than I thought.

Dad, Dad, we gotta
pull over.

There's so much
happenin' around here.

No, Cricket,
I'd rather not.

Drivin' around here
is freakin' me out.

- ( horns honking )
- I'm doin' my best, pal!

Look at that thing.
Oh, missed it.

Oh, that's cool.
Aw, missed it.

Come on, Dad, can't we
get out for just
a little bit?

I can show you two around.

Boy, let me concentrate.

- ( yells )
- ( blowing whistle )

I'll sure feel a lot better
once we get to Gramma's house.

- Huh?
- Hey, Dad.

Cricket, why can't you
be good like your sister? Huh?

- Hi.
- Dad, you've gotta
come check this out.

All right, fine.

"No parking except
on weekdays.

Holidays and Sundays
in between the hours..."

It don't make no sense.

Let's see.
Mm-hm, mm-hmm.
Looks good.

- Come on, Dad,
hurry up.
- Well, okay.

This ain't nothin'
like back home, Dad.

Look around ya.

Welcome to Big City!

- Neato!
- Yay!

Oh, boy.

- Sure is impressive.
- ( car alarm blares )

Well, whoop-whoop
to you, too.

Are these really free?

Yeah, man. I've had,
like, 11 of these today.

Look, Dad,
free sody pops.

Compliments of that
very radical dude.

( yells )

Ooh-whee, Tilly,
over there.

Look, a noble
city bird.

I wonder what
he's thinkin'.

Here, city bird,
have some crumbs.

Huh. Ah!
Move, move, move, move!

I'm not so sure
about this.

Ah, what are
you talkin' about?

It's not so bad.

Why, with an expert
like me by your side,

we'll be able to handle
this city, no problem.

Our truck!
No, no, no, no!

Excuse me, sir.
I think there's
been a little mistake here.

Come back!

- Ho...
- Ly...
- Moley.

My map was in that car.

I don't know how to get to
your gramma's house without it.

What the heck are we
supposed to do now?!

Be calm,

Tilly's right.
Be calm, Papa.

This is nothing more
than a minor setback.

Cities are full of
options and possibilities

I'm sure we can find our way
to Gramma's house.

How big can Big City be?

Ew. Just felt a chill
go down my spine.

Come on,
Gramma's house...

- BOTH: Gramma's house,
Gramma's house.
- Oh, boy.

If we can't drive,
we'll just start walkin'.

Easy squeezy.

Whoa, coulda died.

Hey, look,
a little ghost man.

Ghost means go.

Ah... ah.

Ah... ( giggles )


Oh, gosh, my personal space.
My personal space!

( all exhale )

- Move it!
- Watch it!

Get outta the road!

Taxi. Taxi!

- Where to?
- Anywhere away from Kyle.

Let's get in
one of those.

Come on, Papa.
Just wave your
hand in the air.

Tilly, you know how
I feel about parading
my finger around in public.

That hay baler took
the best part of me.

I got this, Dad.
The yellow cars are
the hardest to catch.

So leave it to me.

- Taxi!!
- Sacre bleu!

They don't stop
for nothin'.

Hey, guys, I found a feller
who's offerin' us all a ride.

Come on and hop in
my creepy van.

Whoa, whoa, no.

No. Thank you
very much, sir.

Eh, probably a good decision.

What now,
Mr. City Expert?

Well, let's see.

Aha. I know a secret way
people in the city get around.

( growling )

Nope. Never mind.
Follow me.

♪ This day is A-OK as long
as I am here with you ♪

♪ Morning, noon and evening ♪

♪ I can see now that
this life is so beautiful ♪

♪ Never will I think about it ♪

♪ All I wanna do is shout ♪

♪ This day is A-OK ♪

Gramma's house,
Gramma's house.

Gramma's house.

Cricket, would you
just stop?

Please be water.

CRICKET: That's it.
We'll take

the best form of
public transportation available.

The city bus.

Ah, ridin' to Gramma's
house in comfort and safety.

Oh, no. The bus
is full of weirdos.

We should get
outta here.

No, it's fine.

Oh, hey, that guy
looks friendly.

Just mindin'
his own business.

Rats, rats, he's made
of rats!

( panting )

MAN 1: Are you sure
we're in the clear?

MAN 2: Don't worry. Anyone
sees us, I'll take care of 'em.

( chainsaw buzzes )

Okay, come on,
let's go, go, go, go, go.

Ugh, some fresh start.

First we lost the farm,
then we lost our truck,

huh, and now,
we're lost.

City ain't no place
for us.

We'll just have to
live somewhere else.

( sighs ) Maybe
you're right, Dad.

I was sure I knew
everything about the city,

but it turns out,
I don't know nothin'.

I thought I could
handle a bigger pond.

Well, if we're gonna
live on the streets,

might as well get comfy.

This cardboard box will
make a handsome breakfast nook.

Or maybe a rug.

Oh, look, there's another
poor soul the city's
workin' against.

That's the same towin' company
that took our truck.

Dad, I made a big mistake.

I've been tryin' to
show you how great
the city is,

but I shoulda been
remindin' you how
great we are.

We're tough.

We're resilient.

We're the gol dang
Green family!

Now we've got a chance here
to get our truck back,

and if we can do that,

then we can surely
make it in Big City.

- Come on!
- Wait, Cricket!

Is this legal?

Sh. There it is.

Just as beautiful
as the day we met.

- Come on, let's go.
- Cricket, wait.

It's just like we left it.

Ketchup stains and melted
crayons and everything.

Okay, okay, don't
make so much noise.

Move slowly and quietly.

( barking )

Never mind. Scatter!

( yelling )


- ( barking )
- ( yelling resumes )

- Phew!
- ( growling )

I got the keys.

Oh, we shoulda never
come here.

We don't know anything
about the city.

You're wrong, Dad.

There's a lot we may not
know about this city,

but there's a few things
we do.

( alarm blaring )

Have some free sody pop.

Compliments of the house.

Now, Tilly,
release the crumbs.

Now's our chance.

Come on, come on, come on!

( screams )

- Dad, what
are you doin'?
- Go!

Sorry, I just gotta
make this right.

There we go.
Always do
the right thing, kids.

- BOTH: Dad!
- ( whimpers )

Heh. Hay baler. Ha!

( all laughing )

ALL: Wow!

Ya know, we did
pretty well back
there, didn't we?

Yeah, we did.

Gramma's house...

Gramma's house.

ALL: Gramma's house,
Gramma's house,

Gramma's house!

Gramma's house,
Gramma's house!

BOTH: Whoa!

Well, at least
this place
hasn't changed.

( cows mooing )

It's just like home.

We get to
live here, Papa?

DAD: That's the plan.
What do you think?

It's perfect.

Hey, Ma, we're here.

Ma? Ma!

( all screaming )

Yah! That'll teach you
to be late.

I coulda died.

Now give me a hug.

BOTH: Gramma!

( all talking
and laughing )

DAD: Real funny, Ma.

Oh, welcome home.

[grunts] All right,
let's get started.


Wait, what are we lookin' for?

Your Gramma's
old teddy bear.

I'm hopin' it'll
calm her restless spirit.

She's been having
her nightmares again.


You think poison can kill me?!

Now kiss me, you fool.



All right! Let's go find it!

Hey! Wait a second!

Not here. Not here.
Not here.

Not here. [shudders]

Not in here.


Maybe in here...

-[Bill] Cricket!

Well, you're not gonna find it
randomly rummaging
through everything.

It's best if we take a slow,
methodical approach.

-[Cricket] Found it!

Gramma's teddy.
I found it! See?

Hmm. Lucky find I guess.

All right,
let's think this through.

I could get a ladder and--

Ow! Cricket!

get off of there!
You're making a mess!

Don't worry! I've got light feet
and perfect balance!

Whoa! Ooh! Ow!


Dang it, boy,
it's not a race! Ugh!

Cricket, I'll get it.

No, it's okay!
I'm almost there!

-No, no, no, let me...
-Dad, I got it.

Cricket, just let me do it.

-Huh? Come on.

-I spotted it first.
-You're gonna hurt yourself.

[both yelling]

[both scream]

[both groan]

Cricket! You okay?


Aw, look at these little cuties.

Cricket, no! Raccoons are awful,
vile creatures!

Nonsense. You wouldn't hurt
a fly, now would you?



Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!



Oh, my gosh,
Dad, you're right!

Those horrible, beady eyes.

Snarling, wet mouths.

Gross, grabby hands.

I thought Gramma
took care of them years ago.

They've been here all along,
getting stronger.


Ow! They're trying
to kill us!

Cricket, stand up! We have
to assert our dominance!

[both yelling]


-No way, it worked! Whoo!

[both gasp]

Oh, no, they're everywhere!


I saw a crow this mornin.'

I knew it was a bad omen.

Oh, jeez, this is bad.

If we can't get them vermin
out of our house,

we may not even have a house!

We'll have to live
in the garage.

And that's where
the raccoons live!

Get out of here, you mangy rats!


Oh, man, they're goin' deeper
into the house!

Dad, what are we gonna do?!

I've got a plan.

Those raccoons
won't know what hit 'em.

You're gonna hit 'em?

What? No. We're gonna--

Ooh, boy,
gonna fight a raccoon!

Cricket, that's not the plan.

Gonna mutilate some--

Wait, that's not the plan?
What's the plan?

[Cricket] Peanut butter?
What the heck is that for?

We'll use it as bait
to trap those varmints.

Ooh, bait!
I like the sound of that.

Gotta make sure the cage
is nice and sturdy.

Ooh, yeah. Sturdy!

Then we hide around the corner.

Hiding! Oh, yeah!

Then... we wait.

All right! We--


We wait, and we wait.

Tick tock.
The passage of time.

Any minute now.
Or could be hours! Who knows?

Round and round goes the clock,
but we stay still.

-Tick, tock, tick, tock.

[Bill] Wonder if we
got anything yet.

Nope, not yet.

But that's okay.


Ooh, hold on.
Here comes one now.

[gasps] Finally! It's happening!


Dad, he's not goin' in!
The trap's not workin'!

He'll go inside.
Just be patient.

I don't got time to be patient!

Cricket, wait!

Huh? My pants!



Dang it! He got away!

I almost had him, Dad!
Why did you trip me up?

The trap was gonna work,
but you got in the way!

You got in my way.

[door closes]

Y'all have more
of these crackers?

Well, Dad,
your traps ain't workin'.

So I'm sorry, but I'm just
gonna have to cut ya loose
and handle this myself.

Oh-ho, is that so?
Well, fine by me.

I'd do better on my own.

Oh, yeah? Well, we'll see.

Yeah, I think you will.

Oh, it's on.

You bet it is!

Can I help?

-Of course, sweetie.
-Yeah, fine, that's okay.






I am now one of them.

[laughs] I'm gonna get you!


[chuckles] Gotcha cornered.





Hey. I don't know
if you've noticed,
but I am also a raccoon.

[both screaming]


I got a funny question.

What are your weaknesses?

I definitely won't use that
information against you later.


You can just write it down
if you're shy.


[gasps] No!
That's Ma's room!



Oh, my gosh!
Gramma, I'll save you!

Cricket, no!



Which one of you fools
let raccoons into my house?!


Stay here!
Grammy's got this!


Ma, wait!



Come here, you varmints!



Huh? My trap--
it's working!


Hooray! I caught it!

What are you talking about?!
My cage trapped it!

Well, sure,
after I slowed him down!

He was literally
in my trap!

Oh, humans. They're crazy.
Am I right?


You didn't see nothin'.

[Bill and Cricket
continue arguing]



[screeching continues]

Oh, no. It's happening.

[screeching continues]




Oh, my gosh!
We're surrounded!



Wow. Kicked out of our own house
by a bunch of raccoons.
Nice work, Dad.

Me? You're the one
who kept messin' up my traps,
which would've worked if--

Oh, really?
Maybe in fantasy land!

Don't you dare, boy.
You're bein' about as helpful
as another raccoon.

Shut up!
It's both your dang faults!

Your squabblin'
ain't getting us anywhere!

If only we were
more like the raccoons.


I lived amongst them.

I learned
how organized they are.

When they work together,

they can accomplish
truly amazing things.

And you know what else
we could be more like?

A river.

A river flows and flows.
It never--

All right, Tilly, we get it.

Okay, Gramma.

The girl's right.

There was a bit of nonsense
at the end there,

but a lot of truth.

We gotta work together
as a team!

We'll need to combine
Gramma's experience,

my overwhelming
physical strength,

Cricket's assertiveness,
and Poppa's patience.

-Fine, if I must.
-Worth a shot, I guess.

That's the spirit!

And I'm a fresh lollipop
as well!

Now can we get a move on?

All right, gang. Suit up!



It's garbage day!


And it's time to take out
the trash eaters!




Wow! I did it! [chuckles]

Wow! I did it!






Looks like
I trapped 'em all up!

You mean
I rounded 'em all up.


Nice lasso work, I guess.

I suppose it was strategic
to have a trap there.

You could say
we trapped them all.

Yeah, sure.

Um, I think you both missed one.

[all] Tilly!

Help! My disguise was too good!

He wants to marry me!

He's trying to escape
out the back door!

[Cricket] Quick!
He's heading for that hole!

We gotta work together!

You're right.
Let's do this!


Take your time!
Choose your shot!









Well, Dad,
we did it.

We make
a pretty good team, son.

Agreed. Although, I don't know
why we argue so much.

Probably 'cause we both
think we know best.

No, no, that's not it.

It's probably 'cause
we both think we know best.

Hmm... Well, anyway, time to do
what's best for these raccoons.


Back to the wild with ya!

We did a good thing, Dad.

We sure did, son.
We sure did.

-[tires screech]

[people screaming]


♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet
and got bit by 100 flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch
and scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
at seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow,
I'll do it all again ♪