Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 3, Episode 24 - Art for Sam's Sake - full transcript
Samantha has embarked on painting as a hobby, and plans on entering her still life painting into a charity art exhibit and competition. Endora will not allow Samantha to sully the family name by publicly displaying anything that is less than a masterpiece. Seeing that Samantha's own creation doesn't live up to that standard, Endora decides to exchange Samantha's painting temporarily until midnight for that of renowned French artist Henri Monchet. Samantha learns what her mother has done when her painting is revealed as the winning entry in the competition, the painting which will be auctioned off to the highest bidder. A further problem arises when perfumer Mr. Cunningham, a client of Darrin's, wants the painting, especially as he sees himself as an art connoisseur. Darrin and Samantha have to try and get him not to bid on the painting while they purchase it themselves. If they can't do so, they have to find a way to get the painting from him before the painting magically disappears at midnight.
Samantha?
[Timer Buzzing]
Oh, that's my own little witch.
Well done.
Darrin, you better hurry up.
Breakfast is almost ready.
I know. I just saw it in action.
That's very clever, the way the
pancakes flip-flop-flip-flop, no hands.
Welcome back
to the fold, darling.
I, uh, sort of broke training.
I noticed.
What about, uh, Dumbo?
Doesn't he object
to your using...
Yes, Darrin objects.
But it's a special occasion
because of the morning light.
I have to catch the morning
light so I can work on my painting.
Really? You're painting?
Mm-hmm! See? I've
almost finished the sketch.
I'm gonna enter it in
the exhibit next week.
Just paint the same way you flipped those
pancakes, and you'll have a masterpiece.
Mother, I am not
going to use witchcraft.
Well, remember, anything
less than a masterpiece...
will be a disgrace
to the family name.
And... I'll be watching.
Mother!
Mo... [Scoffs]
Okay, push. That's a good girl.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Mama. No. Now, come on.
No. As soon as I call your
daddy, I'll fix you something to eat.
Well, there you are. I've
been waiting for hours.
Well, I'm sorry, Mother, but I've
been very busy delivering my painting.
Your painting?
Yes. My painting.
For your information,
Mother dear, my painting
is gonna be hung
at the charity exhibit.
It might even win a prize.
Well, that wouldn't surprise me.
It wouldn't?
No. Of course not.
Talent runs in our family.
Your great-great uncle
Lorenzo was hung in the Louvre.
Mother, really, not
in front of Tabatha.
Not him, silly child.
His self-portrait.
And your second cousin Lucretia
has been working in stone for centuries.
I've often felt that Durwood
should lend her his head.
I have often felt that we
can do without the jokes...
about Darrin, D-A-R-R-I-N.
He, incidentally, thinks
my painting's great.
That is incidental.
What would Whatchamacallit
know about art?
If you want an opinion
of value, you should
go to someone who's
aesthetically equipped...
to give you a
critique of your work.
Whom did you have in
mind? As if I didn't know.
Oh, don't be flippant,
my dear daughter.
You know I frequently haunt
the avant-garde galleries.
As a matter of fact, I dropped in
at Jacques Gallery in New York...
to see the work
of Henri Monchet.
Who is Henri Monchet?
Henri Monchet!
Henri Monchet happens to
be the latest rage in Paris!
And mark you, soon he'll
be the rage in New York.
Well, I'm very impressed. Good.
Now let's see if I am. What?
Let me see your painting.
Uh-uh. No, it's too late.
It's already hanging in
the gallery at the university.
I told you I'd dropped
it off when I came in.
You mean it's going to appear in
public before your own mother sees it?
You bet. We artists
live dangerously.
Life with that mortal...
has made you
completely thoughtless.
How's that?
I got news. I think you
hung it upside down.
So what? Eggs is
better over easy anyhow.
Eggs makes me hungry. Let's eat.
It's too early for lunch.
Not when you been hanging eggs
all morning, it ain't. Come on. Let's eat.
Okay. Better lock the door.
Oh. Right.
What you got...
salami? Liverwurst.
Always liverwurst on Thursday.
Hey. How did she get in?
Uh, sorry, uh, lady,
but the show don't
start till tonight.
So if you don't mind,
will you please blow?
Of course. [Blows]
[Wind Howling]
[Laughs]
Lady, watch out!
Did you see what I saw?
No. Good. Neither did I.
Oh! My stars and satellites.
It looks like she's
painted it with a broom...
A whisk broom.
Well, we can do
better than that.
Oh, wizards and warlocks
of arts of the ages.
Oh, palettes of paint
and classical sages.
This dreadful still
life, just take it away,
and bring me a landscape
by Henri Monchet!
Ah. Well, that's more like it.
Oh, fiddley-faddley,
I almost forgot!
There!
Now.
Well, now that's what
I call an excellent job.
Where did that
lady go? What lady?
That's the one.
Darrin, it's almost 5:00.
How's that perfume layout
coming along? Here, have a sniff.
Oh, these look fine,
Darrin. There are a few
changes to make before
Cunningham sees it.
Well, take your time.
He can see it tomorrow.
You can tell him
about it tonight.
What do you mean, I can
tell him about it tonight?
He arrived in town early.
You're taking him to dinner.
Not tonight, I'm not.
I have very special
plans tonight. I'm
taking my wife to dinner.
By all means bring Sam along. She's
always a plus in client relationships.
Larry, you're not
paying attention.
Sam has a painting entered in
the art exhibit at the university.
We have to go
there. But that's great!
Cunningham considers
himself a connoisseur of the arts.
He'd jump at the chance
to go to an art exhibit.
An amateur art exhibit?
This is the first thing
Sam's ever painted!
Darrin, have I ever steered you
wrong? You wanna stand on your record?
No. Why don't you take
him to dinner tonight?
Because Louise and I have other plans, and
because the Cunningham perfume account...
can be the most lucrative we've ever
had, and taking him to the art exhibit...
can be the one
surefire way of getting it.
So, call Sam and
give her the good word.
Okay. First I have
to think of one.
What? A good word.
Why don't you tell her it's a favor
for the president of the company?
That's a good word.
Good evening, madam. Your
chief babysitter, reporting for duty.
Not a minute too soon.
If I don't leave right
away I'm gonna be late.
There's something else
I had to do. What was it?
Yes. Mr. Cunningham's perfume.
He sent some to Louise and me.
Fifty dollars an ounce. Mmm.
Ooh, Mother, look at me. I'm
so nervous, it's like stage fright.
Don't worry, darling.
I'll be with you in spirit.
Wish me luck. It's been wished.
What does that mean?
Oh, really, Samantha!
It's getting so you
question everything I say.
Sorry.
Bye-bye.
Fifty dollars an ounce?
Ew.
Ugh.
[Radio Announcer] On
the local side of the news,
[Shower Running] art critic Arthur
Bryan has completed his judging...
in the annual charity art show
on view at the university tonight.
The winner of the first prize
is Samantha Stephens. Larry!
In making the decision, Mr. Bryan
said that Mrs. Stephens showed...
an amazing color sense and
style for an amateur painter.
Larry! Samantha won first prize!
[Radio Continues]
[Larry Shouting, Muffled]
Well, hurry up. We
must go to that exhibit.
Now for a rundown
in the world of sports.
What is it? She
won! Samantha won!
Stunned a capacity crowd, setting a
new world's record for the high jump.
Yeah? How high did she jump?
And so you say, "What is art?"
Some say look in the
dictionary, but I say...
what does a man who writes
a dictionary know about art?
If he knew anything about art, would he
be writing a dictionary in the first place?
No, I say. I say go to a man who
has created something himself.
Even if that man
is only a man like I.
A man who has created a
perfume, go to him, I say.
That man knows
art as I know art.
"What does it take
to know art?" you ask.
No, I didn't. She
didn't say anything.
That is not an easy
question to answer. Thought
you'd hit me with a
toughie, didn't you?
For the ordinary man,
that is a difficult question.
But... and I use the
word "but" advisedly...
But for a man like I, who
has a sense of recognition,
a man who can sniff a fragrance or walk
up to a painting and say, "I know you,"
there is the essence
of knowing art.
- Fascinating.
- Yes, isn't it?
Uh, I'm afraid
that our exhibit...
is considerably below your
speed, Mr. Cunningham.
I mean, it's for kitchen
creators, patio painters, like I.
I mean, we wouldn't be on
exhibit at all if it weren't for charity.
- All the more reason.
- All the more reason, what?
To know what you
want and go after it.
Once I say "I know you," the
next step is, "I must have you."
I have never, never in my
entire life said "I know you"...
to a painting or
fragrance I didn't buy.
I will say that for me. I
always get what I want.
Always. Wow.
That is why my art
collection is second only
to about three or
four hundred others...
in the United States.
Wow.
Uh, d-don't you think
it's getting a wee bit late?
Yes! Uh, waiter?
They're putting the prize-winning
paintings up for sale this evening.
You might see
something you like.
At an amateur
exhibit, I doubt it.
But who knows, I'm always on
the lookout for new discoveries.
[Chuckles] Well, I'm
afraid mine won't be one.
[Muttering] I don't know.
[Louise] Oh, Samantha. Samantha,
how wonderful! [Larry] Sam, Darrin.
I'm so thrilled for you!
Mr. Cunningham, good to see you again.
I wouldn't have missed
this for the world!
Darrin, you must
be very proud of her.
When Louise heard the news, we canceled
our engagement and came right over!
What news? Yeah, what news?
You mean you don't know?
Samantha won first prize. [Gasps]
They're unveiling her painting any
moment. Well, now, this is interesting.
Oh! Louise, are you sure?
I can't believe it! You're
positive? I'm numb.
Who wouldn't be? I'm dying
to see your masterpiece.
They've been waiting
for you before they start
the auction. [Larry]
We saved some seats.
Here, Mr. Cunningham.
Mrs. Stephens, as
chairman of the art committee,
I just want to say how proud we
are to have you here this evening.
Thank you.
Hang on, I may go
right through the floor.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, as
we promised you, the first painting...
to be auctioned for charity is
the painting that won first prize.
[Applause]
Oh, it's beautiful.
We invite our guests to come up and examine
the painting before the auction begins.
Sam, that isn't yours.
I-I know. Mr. Chairman...
Honey, honey. The signature.
Look at the signature.
I want to tell you, Mrs. Stephens,
I'm not used to paintings...
at amateur art exhibits
saying "I know you,"
but that one definitely
is speaking up.
I wish it'd say where
it came from. Darrin!
All right, now. Your
attention, please.
The bidding is about to
commence. Now, do I hear an offer?
- I have an awful feeling...
- Twenty-five dollars.
That he's going to
bid for it. He just did.
[Man] Thirty. Thirty-five.
I have a bid of $35. That may be my
signature, but it's Mother's handwriting.
You bid against him. I'll
see if I can figure this out.
Thirty-five once.
Thirty-five twice. Uh, 36!
Ah, now I have a bid for $36.
You people in the back
there, I haven't heard from you.
Mr. Higgins, do you
have a bid? Mother?
Oh, I get the hint, Stephens.
I forgot it was for charity.
Don't worry, Stephens.
I'll go along. $200.
Now I have a bid for
$200! Do I hear more?
Two hundred once.
Two hundred twice.
Three hundred dollars.
Three hundred dollars.
- Do I hear four?
- Four hundred dollars.
- Stephens,
I want that painting.
- Yes, Darrin. What is this?
He wants that painting.
I'm sentimental.
You weren't sentimental a while ago
when you could have had it for $25.
I'm a man of many moods.
Four hundred once.
Four hundred twice.
410! I have 410.
Do I hear 500? Five hundred.
I know you can hear me!
How could you do such a thing?
Will you please
answer me? It's urgent!
Oh!
Oh, Mother, you are
such a stubborn witch.
I have $800. Do I hear 850?
I don't think so. Eight fifty.
Darrin, couldn't you be
sentimental over her next painting?
Please keep out of this, Louise. I thought
you people wanted my account... $900!
We do. But that's
business. This is art.
This is nonsense, Darrin. You can
have all the paintings Sam can paint.
Why do you have to have this
one? You'd never understand. $925.
I could leave town tonight. Me without
the painting, and you without my account.
$950.
$950!
Do I hear a thousand?
Where are you gonna get a
thousand dollars without a job?
One thousand dollars.
$1,005.
$1,005. Going once.
Going twice.
Sold, for $1,005...
to the art lover
in the gray suit.
I told you I get what I want
if I have to say so myself.
Mr. Cunningham. I call
this good sportsmanship,
Darrin inviting us all
over for a cup of coffee.
Yes, he's a gracious loser, and
I'm a gracious winner for $1,005.
$1,005?
Well, I suppose I can't really blame you
for wanting your wife's painting so badly.
I suppose. Samantha and I'll
get things started in the kitchen.
Yes. Let me!
Oh, no, Louise. You and
Larry entertain Mr. Cunningham.
Mother. Dear.
I'm desperate.
Mother, I have to talk to you.
Now, for the last time,
you materialize, or else!
Well, why didn't you
answer me before?
You knew I was here babysitting.
I also know you could've gotten
Aunt Hagatha as a substitute.
Oh, I knew you were going to
make a great to-do over nothing,
and you are, aren't you?
Where did you get that painting?
Oh, that? That's
Henri Monchet's.
Henri Monchet? You stole it!
[Gasps] Samantha!
That's a tawdry accusation.
Of course I haven't.
I just borrowed it.
It'll pop back to
Jacques at midnight.
Midnight! But it's
close to that now.
Oh, really? Oh, I am late.
Mother, you are going to sit right there on
that table until this mess is cleared up.
Mr. Cunningham is in there,
and he bought that painting!
- Don't tell me that
scent maker is here!
- Mm-hmm.
I tried some of his perfume. It
burned a hole right through my robe.
You should try some of
my perfume, Samantha.
It's irresistible.
It was made especially
for me by a warlock in Tibet.
Irresistible? Completely.
But I'll need it for tonight.
Oh, no, Mother, I'll
need it for tonight.
Oh, please? Please let
me borrow it. Hmm? Please?
Oh, fiddle-faddle.
Whew!
Mr. Cunningham, why don't you leave
the painting here? We'll have it reframed,
show it off a little better. You really
don't want to part with it, do you?
Louise?
Larry? No, thanks.
Mrs. Stephens... I'm terribly
sorry, Mr. Cunningham.
Uh, cream and sugar?
That perfume you're
wearing! What is it?
Oh, that. Uh, my
mother makes it.
Homemade perfume? Well, it's an
old formula. Been in the family for years.
What a unique
fragrance. That scent...
Remarkable, fabulous aroma.
It's speaking to me.
I'm glad you like it.
- Like it? I must market it!
- Great!
What are the ingredients? Oh,
Mother would never tell anyone.
Well, I'm prepared to make a very generous
offer to her if she'll sell it to me.
She'd never sell it for
money. What else is there?
I happen to know that Mother
would love Darrin to have that painting.
Perhaps we could
work out a trade.
No, no. I don't think so.
Cookie? That
scent is irresistible.
Are you sure your mother won't accept
a very large payment? Oh, absolutely not.
You have a very unusual
mother-in-law, my boy.
Indescribable.
Louise. [Inhaling]
And so is that perfume.
It's a deal.
The painting for the formula. Darrin,
why don't you take the painting in the den?
- Now?
- Before Mr. Cunningham
changes his mind.
[Inhaling]
Why, with this new fragrance,
I may start a whole new line.
Naturally, Mr. Cunningham.
I'll have Stephens
get started on a new
layout right away.
That sounds like fun.
I'll want excitement,
something that will make it impossible
for a woman not to buy it when she sees it.
We'll need a name that will
make it as irresistible as it is.
I have an idea.
How about "I Know You."
Brilliant!
Stephens, what did you ever
do to deserve a woman like this?
Mr. Cunningham, I'll never know.
Well, good night! Darrin,
see you bright and early.
Right, Larry. Mr. Cunningham.
Better get right on the ball.
Believe me, sir, I've got a lot of ideas.
I think it's just wonderful the
way everything worked out.
So you didn't get the painting,
but you got the perfume,
and McMann and Tate got the account, which
is all Larry was worried about, right?
Just a minute. Just
a gosh darn minute!
[Cunningham] Louise, will you
ever learn to keep your big fat...
And were you going to
keep this a secret from me?
Keep what a secret from
you, Mr. Cunningham?
"Samantha Stephens." So
that wasn't your only painting.
Or your only style!
This one I've got to have, because
this one is talking up a storm.
It's shouting at me.
This one I know.
Mr. Cunningham.
That one you may have.
You mean it? Quick, say good
night before she changes her mind.
Good night. Call you tomorrow!
Good night, good night.
Sam, what about that painting?
Is it gonna disappear on him?
Is it real? Or was
that witchcraft too?
I told you this
morning it was real.
Oh, boy. It's getting
harder and harder to
tell what's real and
what isn't around here!
[Chuckles] Come here.
This is real.
Wow!
[Timer Buzzing]
Oh, that's my own little witch.
Well done.
Darrin, you better hurry up.
Breakfast is almost ready.
I know. I just saw it in action.
That's very clever, the way the
pancakes flip-flop-flip-flop, no hands.
Welcome back
to the fold, darling.
I, uh, sort of broke training.
I noticed.
What about, uh, Dumbo?
Doesn't he object
to your using...
Yes, Darrin objects.
But it's a special occasion
because of the morning light.
I have to catch the morning
light so I can work on my painting.
Really? You're painting?
Mm-hmm! See? I've
almost finished the sketch.
I'm gonna enter it in
the exhibit next week.
Just paint the same way you flipped those
pancakes, and you'll have a masterpiece.
Mother, I am not
going to use witchcraft.
Well, remember, anything
less than a masterpiece...
will be a disgrace
to the family name.
And... I'll be watching.
Mother!
Mo... [Scoffs]
Okay, push. That's a good girl.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Mama. No. Now, come on.
No. As soon as I call your
daddy, I'll fix you something to eat.
Well, there you are. I've
been waiting for hours.
Well, I'm sorry, Mother, but I've
been very busy delivering my painting.
Your painting?
Yes. My painting.
For your information,
Mother dear, my painting
is gonna be hung
at the charity exhibit.
It might even win a prize.
Well, that wouldn't surprise me.
It wouldn't?
No. Of course not.
Talent runs in our family.
Your great-great uncle
Lorenzo was hung in the Louvre.
Mother, really, not
in front of Tabatha.
Not him, silly child.
His self-portrait.
And your second cousin Lucretia
has been working in stone for centuries.
I've often felt that Durwood
should lend her his head.
I have often felt that we
can do without the jokes...
about Darrin, D-A-R-R-I-N.
He, incidentally, thinks
my painting's great.
That is incidental.
What would Whatchamacallit
know about art?
If you want an opinion
of value, you should
go to someone who's
aesthetically equipped...
to give you a
critique of your work.
Whom did you have in
mind? As if I didn't know.
Oh, don't be flippant,
my dear daughter.
You know I frequently haunt
the avant-garde galleries.
As a matter of fact, I dropped in
at Jacques Gallery in New York...
to see the work
of Henri Monchet.
Who is Henri Monchet?
Henri Monchet!
Henri Monchet happens to
be the latest rage in Paris!
And mark you, soon he'll
be the rage in New York.
Well, I'm very impressed. Good.
Now let's see if I am. What?
Let me see your painting.
Uh-uh. No, it's too late.
It's already hanging in
the gallery at the university.
I told you I'd dropped
it off when I came in.
You mean it's going to appear in
public before your own mother sees it?
You bet. We artists
live dangerously.
Life with that mortal...
has made you
completely thoughtless.
How's that?
I got news. I think you
hung it upside down.
So what? Eggs is
better over easy anyhow.
Eggs makes me hungry. Let's eat.
It's too early for lunch.
Not when you been hanging eggs
all morning, it ain't. Come on. Let's eat.
Okay. Better lock the door.
Oh. Right.
What you got...
salami? Liverwurst.
Always liverwurst on Thursday.
Hey. How did she get in?
Uh, sorry, uh, lady,
but the show don't
start till tonight.
So if you don't mind,
will you please blow?
Of course. [Blows]
[Wind Howling]
[Laughs]
Lady, watch out!
Did you see what I saw?
No. Good. Neither did I.
Oh! My stars and satellites.
It looks like she's
painted it with a broom...
A whisk broom.
Well, we can do
better than that.
Oh, wizards and warlocks
of arts of the ages.
Oh, palettes of paint
and classical sages.
This dreadful still
life, just take it away,
and bring me a landscape
by Henri Monchet!
Ah. Well, that's more like it.
Oh, fiddley-faddley,
I almost forgot!
There!
Now.
Well, now that's what
I call an excellent job.
Where did that
lady go? What lady?
That's the one.
Darrin, it's almost 5:00.
How's that perfume layout
coming along? Here, have a sniff.
Oh, these look fine,
Darrin. There are a few
changes to make before
Cunningham sees it.
Well, take your time.
He can see it tomorrow.
You can tell him
about it tonight.
What do you mean, I can
tell him about it tonight?
He arrived in town early.
You're taking him to dinner.
Not tonight, I'm not.
I have very special
plans tonight. I'm
taking my wife to dinner.
By all means bring Sam along. She's
always a plus in client relationships.
Larry, you're not
paying attention.
Sam has a painting entered in
the art exhibit at the university.
We have to go
there. But that's great!
Cunningham considers
himself a connoisseur of the arts.
He'd jump at the chance
to go to an art exhibit.
An amateur art exhibit?
This is the first thing
Sam's ever painted!
Darrin, have I ever steered you
wrong? You wanna stand on your record?
No. Why don't you take
him to dinner tonight?
Because Louise and I have other plans, and
because the Cunningham perfume account...
can be the most lucrative we've ever
had, and taking him to the art exhibit...
can be the one
surefire way of getting it.
So, call Sam and
give her the good word.
Okay. First I have
to think of one.
What? A good word.
Why don't you tell her it's a favor
for the president of the company?
That's a good word.
Good evening, madam. Your
chief babysitter, reporting for duty.
Not a minute too soon.
If I don't leave right
away I'm gonna be late.
There's something else
I had to do. What was it?
Yes. Mr. Cunningham's perfume.
He sent some to Louise and me.
Fifty dollars an ounce. Mmm.
Ooh, Mother, look at me. I'm
so nervous, it's like stage fright.
Don't worry, darling.
I'll be with you in spirit.
Wish me luck. It's been wished.
What does that mean?
Oh, really, Samantha!
It's getting so you
question everything I say.
Sorry.
Bye-bye.
Fifty dollars an ounce?
Ew.
Ugh.
[Radio Announcer] On
the local side of the news,
[Shower Running] art critic Arthur
Bryan has completed his judging...
in the annual charity art show
on view at the university tonight.
The winner of the first prize
is Samantha Stephens. Larry!
In making the decision, Mr. Bryan
said that Mrs. Stephens showed...
an amazing color sense and
style for an amateur painter.
Larry! Samantha won first prize!
[Radio Continues]
[Larry Shouting, Muffled]
Well, hurry up. We
must go to that exhibit.
Now for a rundown
in the world of sports.
What is it? She
won! Samantha won!
Stunned a capacity crowd, setting a
new world's record for the high jump.
Yeah? How high did she jump?
And so you say, "What is art?"
Some say look in the
dictionary, but I say...
what does a man who writes
a dictionary know about art?
If he knew anything about art, would he
be writing a dictionary in the first place?
No, I say. I say go to a man who
has created something himself.
Even if that man
is only a man like I.
A man who has created a
perfume, go to him, I say.
That man knows
art as I know art.
"What does it take
to know art?" you ask.
No, I didn't. She
didn't say anything.
That is not an easy
question to answer. Thought
you'd hit me with a
toughie, didn't you?
For the ordinary man,
that is a difficult question.
But... and I use the
word "but" advisedly...
But for a man like I, who
has a sense of recognition,
a man who can sniff a fragrance or walk
up to a painting and say, "I know you,"
there is the essence
of knowing art.
- Fascinating.
- Yes, isn't it?
Uh, I'm afraid
that our exhibit...
is considerably below your
speed, Mr. Cunningham.
I mean, it's for kitchen
creators, patio painters, like I.
I mean, we wouldn't be on
exhibit at all if it weren't for charity.
- All the more reason.
- All the more reason, what?
To know what you
want and go after it.
Once I say "I know you," the
next step is, "I must have you."
I have never, never in my
entire life said "I know you"...
to a painting or
fragrance I didn't buy.
I will say that for me. I
always get what I want.
Always. Wow.
That is why my art
collection is second only
to about three or
four hundred others...
in the United States.
Wow.
Uh, d-don't you think
it's getting a wee bit late?
Yes! Uh, waiter?
They're putting the prize-winning
paintings up for sale this evening.
You might see
something you like.
At an amateur
exhibit, I doubt it.
But who knows, I'm always on
the lookout for new discoveries.
[Chuckles] Well, I'm
afraid mine won't be one.
[Muttering] I don't know.
[Louise] Oh, Samantha. Samantha,
how wonderful! [Larry] Sam, Darrin.
I'm so thrilled for you!
Mr. Cunningham, good to see you again.
I wouldn't have missed
this for the world!
Darrin, you must
be very proud of her.
When Louise heard the news, we canceled
our engagement and came right over!
What news? Yeah, what news?
You mean you don't know?
Samantha won first prize. [Gasps]
They're unveiling her painting any
moment. Well, now, this is interesting.
Oh! Louise, are you sure?
I can't believe it! You're
positive? I'm numb.
Who wouldn't be? I'm dying
to see your masterpiece.
They've been waiting
for you before they start
the auction. [Larry]
We saved some seats.
Here, Mr. Cunningham.
Mrs. Stephens, as
chairman of the art committee,
I just want to say how proud we
are to have you here this evening.
Thank you.
Hang on, I may go
right through the floor.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, as
we promised you, the first painting...
to be auctioned for charity is
the painting that won first prize.
[Applause]
Oh, it's beautiful.
We invite our guests to come up and examine
the painting before the auction begins.
Sam, that isn't yours.
I-I know. Mr. Chairman...
Honey, honey. The signature.
Look at the signature.
I want to tell you, Mrs. Stephens,
I'm not used to paintings...
at amateur art exhibits
saying "I know you,"
but that one definitely
is speaking up.
I wish it'd say where
it came from. Darrin!
All right, now. Your
attention, please.
The bidding is about to
commence. Now, do I hear an offer?
- I have an awful feeling...
- Twenty-five dollars.
That he's going to
bid for it. He just did.
[Man] Thirty. Thirty-five.
I have a bid of $35. That may be my
signature, but it's Mother's handwriting.
You bid against him. I'll
see if I can figure this out.
Thirty-five once.
Thirty-five twice. Uh, 36!
Ah, now I have a bid for $36.
You people in the back
there, I haven't heard from you.
Mr. Higgins, do you
have a bid? Mother?
Oh, I get the hint, Stephens.
I forgot it was for charity.
Don't worry, Stephens.
I'll go along. $200.
Now I have a bid for
$200! Do I hear more?
Two hundred once.
Two hundred twice.
Three hundred dollars.
Three hundred dollars.
- Do I hear four?
- Four hundred dollars.
- Stephens,
I want that painting.
- Yes, Darrin. What is this?
He wants that painting.
I'm sentimental.
You weren't sentimental a while ago
when you could have had it for $25.
I'm a man of many moods.
Four hundred once.
Four hundred twice.
410! I have 410.
Do I hear 500? Five hundred.
I know you can hear me!
How could you do such a thing?
Will you please
answer me? It's urgent!
Oh!
Oh, Mother, you are
such a stubborn witch.
I have $800. Do I hear 850?
I don't think so. Eight fifty.
Darrin, couldn't you be
sentimental over her next painting?
Please keep out of this, Louise. I thought
you people wanted my account... $900!
We do. But that's
business. This is art.
This is nonsense, Darrin. You can
have all the paintings Sam can paint.
Why do you have to have this
one? You'd never understand. $925.
I could leave town tonight. Me without
the painting, and you without my account.
$950.
$950!
Do I hear a thousand?
Where are you gonna get a
thousand dollars without a job?
One thousand dollars.
$1,005.
$1,005. Going once.
Going twice.
Sold, for $1,005...
to the art lover
in the gray suit.
I told you I get what I want
if I have to say so myself.
Mr. Cunningham. I call
this good sportsmanship,
Darrin inviting us all
over for a cup of coffee.
Yes, he's a gracious loser, and
I'm a gracious winner for $1,005.
$1,005?
Well, I suppose I can't really blame you
for wanting your wife's painting so badly.
I suppose. Samantha and I'll
get things started in the kitchen.
Yes. Let me!
Oh, no, Louise. You and
Larry entertain Mr. Cunningham.
Mother. Dear.
I'm desperate.
Mother, I have to talk to you.
Now, for the last time,
you materialize, or else!
Well, why didn't you
answer me before?
You knew I was here babysitting.
I also know you could've gotten
Aunt Hagatha as a substitute.
Oh, I knew you were going to
make a great to-do over nothing,
and you are, aren't you?
Where did you get that painting?
Oh, that? That's
Henri Monchet's.
Henri Monchet? You stole it!
[Gasps] Samantha!
That's a tawdry accusation.
Of course I haven't.
I just borrowed it.
It'll pop back to
Jacques at midnight.
Midnight! But it's
close to that now.
Oh, really? Oh, I am late.
Mother, you are going to sit right there on
that table until this mess is cleared up.
Mr. Cunningham is in there,
and he bought that painting!
- Don't tell me that
scent maker is here!
- Mm-hmm.
I tried some of his perfume. It
burned a hole right through my robe.
You should try some of
my perfume, Samantha.
It's irresistible.
It was made especially
for me by a warlock in Tibet.
Irresistible? Completely.
But I'll need it for tonight.
Oh, no, Mother, I'll
need it for tonight.
Oh, please? Please let
me borrow it. Hmm? Please?
Oh, fiddle-faddle.
Whew!
Mr. Cunningham, why don't you leave
the painting here? We'll have it reframed,
show it off a little better. You really
don't want to part with it, do you?
Louise?
Larry? No, thanks.
Mrs. Stephens... I'm terribly
sorry, Mr. Cunningham.
Uh, cream and sugar?
That perfume you're
wearing! What is it?
Oh, that. Uh, my
mother makes it.
Homemade perfume? Well, it's an
old formula. Been in the family for years.
What a unique
fragrance. That scent...
Remarkable, fabulous aroma.
It's speaking to me.
I'm glad you like it.
- Like it? I must market it!
- Great!
What are the ingredients? Oh,
Mother would never tell anyone.
Well, I'm prepared to make a very generous
offer to her if she'll sell it to me.
She'd never sell it for
money. What else is there?
I happen to know that Mother
would love Darrin to have that painting.
Perhaps we could
work out a trade.
No, no. I don't think so.
Cookie? That
scent is irresistible.
Are you sure your mother won't accept
a very large payment? Oh, absolutely not.
You have a very unusual
mother-in-law, my boy.
Indescribable.
Louise. [Inhaling]
And so is that perfume.
It's a deal.
The painting for the formula. Darrin,
why don't you take the painting in the den?
- Now?
- Before Mr. Cunningham
changes his mind.
[Inhaling]
Why, with this new fragrance,
I may start a whole new line.
Naturally, Mr. Cunningham.
I'll have Stephens
get started on a new
layout right away.
That sounds like fun.
I'll want excitement,
something that will make it impossible
for a woman not to buy it when she sees it.
We'll need a name that will
make it as irresistible as it is.
I have an idea.
How about "I Know You."
Brilliant!
Stephens, what did you ever
do to deserve a woman like this?
Mr. Cunningham, I'll never know.
Well, good night! Darrin,
see you bright and early.
Right, Larry. Mr. Cunningham.
Better get right on the ball.
Believe me, sir, I've got a lot of ideas.
I think it's just wonderful the
way everything worked out.
So you didn't get the painting,
but you got the perfume,
and McMann and Tate got the account, which
is all Larry was worried about, right?
Just a minute. Just
a gosh darn minute!
[Cunningham] Louise, will you
ever learn to keep your big fat...
And were you going to
keep this a secret from me?
Keep what a secret from
you, Mr. Cunningham?
"Samantha Stephens." So
that wasn't your only painting.
Or your only style!
This one I've got to have, because
this one is talking up a storm.
It's shouting at me.
This one I know.
Mr. Cunningham.
That one you may have.
You mean it? Quick, say good
night before she changes her mind.
Good night. Call you tomorrow!
Good night, good night.
Sam, what about that painting?
Is it gonna disappear on him?
Is it real? Or was
that witchcraft too?
I told you this
morning it was real.
Oh, boy. It's getting
harder and harder to
tell what's real and
what isn't around here!
[Chuckles] Come here.
This is real.
Wow!