Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 3, Episode 23 - I Remember You... Sometimes - full transcript
After an embarrassing encounter with important client Ed Pennybaker where he couldn't remember his name, Darrin laments his failing memory. Darrin tries to improve his memory with the help of a book on the issue, believing better memory will help him in life. Endora thinks differently, so without Darrin's knowledge, she places a spell on his watch, its wearer who will have perfect memory. What happens is that perfect memory Darrin comes across as a know-it-all to anyone around him, which irks both Larry and Samantha to no end. But Darrin's know-it-all attitude irks Pennybaker even more, as without realizing it, Pennybaker himself likes to think himself an authority on any and every subject, he who doesn't like to be corrected by someone seemingly more knowledgeable than him. Samantha has to figure out what has caused this change in Darrin and hopefully rectify not only the rifts it has caused between himself and both her and Larry, but also Pennybaker and his lucrative account.
Hi, sweetheart! Hi, honey.
Oh, is something the matter?
Yeah, Larry and I ran into
an important client today,
and I couldn't remember the
man's name... and he knew it.
Oh, sweetheart, that happens to
everyone once in a while. It's natural.
Well, it's been happening too often,
and it's not going to happen again.
I'm going to do something
about it. In fact, I already have.
I bought this book.
I read the first two chapters on the
train on the way home. It's fascinating.
Oh! Instant Memory Can Be Yours.
That's nice. You start your
homework. I'll start dinner.
Chapter three.
[Laughing]
Ah, testing your memory,
dear? Do you remember me?
I wouldn't mind
forgetting you, Endora.
A perfect memory! [Scoffs]
It's ridiculous. What's
so ridiculous about it?
Well, the ability to forget is
very important to you mortals.
You do so many stupid things, a perfect
memory would be impossible to live with.
Is that so?
Total recall can only be
handled by a strong, mature mind.
And where does that
leave you, Dawson?
It leaves me wishing that you
would mind your own business.
Excuse me if I ignore you.
[Chuckling] So you want
a perfect memory, huh?
- Cynthia! - [Samantha] Who?
The wife of the man whose name I
couldn't remember! Cynthia Pennybaker!
That's it! Isn't that
marvelous? Wonderful!
I-I... My memory's working. I
remember a lot of things about him.
He loves Beethoven,
hates Wagner.
He raises parakeets.
He's got three children...
Mark, age 14, Sylvia, age 11,
and a little 3-year-old named Willie!
- Fascinating.
- Yes, isn't it?
And I only just began
the third chapter.
Good morning,
sweetheart. Mmm! Hi.
Hey, hot cakes and
blueberries! Mm-hmm.
Thought I'd give you
something different.
Oh, it's not different. You
fixed them once before.
No, I don't think so.
It was, uh, September
14, raining, Saturday.
You were wearing the yellow
dress with white polka dots.
That yellow dress. I wonder
what ever happened to it.
I liked it. I'll
have to look for it.
Mm-mmm. You gave it away to
Mrs. Dumont for the rummage sale.
That's right. I did.
That was the same
rummage sale that you
whipped up that enormous
chocolate cake for.
It was an emergency. It
was also a very good cause.
Five minutes
after I'd told you no
witchcraft, and you
had faithfully promised.
Darrin, while you're remembering,
do you also remember that...
every time you bring up that
chocolate cake we get into an argument?
How about forgetting it, hmm?
I'll drop the subject.
But I'll never forget it.
[Intercom Buzzes] Yeah, Larry.
Darrin, Mr. Pennybaker
is here. Mr. Pennybaker.
I wonder if you'd mind
coming in. My pleasure.
And every parakeet... Or
budgie, as we call them...
That I've got, I've practically
hand-raised from an egg.
How about that.
Your average bird isn't very
intelligent, you know. [Door Opens]
But those little budgies...
Oh, Ed, I don't know whether you
remember Darrin Stephens or not.
Oh, yes, yes. I
remember Stephens,
but I'm not too sure
whether he remembers me.
Well, of course I do,
Mr. Pennybaker. How are you?
Fine, fine, thank you.
And how are the children...
Mark and Sylvia, your
little three-year-old Willie?
Well, they're just fine.
And, uh... call me Ed.
Huh? Well, thank you, Ed.
Ed was just telling me some
fascinating things about his parakeets.
Yes. I've got a bird that picks
up a new word every week.
There's no telling how
far that bird can go.
I remember reading in the
dentist's office about a budgerigar...
Or a budgie, as they're called...
Owned by an English woman.
That bird knew 12
nursery rhymes by heart...
and had a vocabulary
of over 300 words.
Oh, come off it, Darrin.
No. No, no. He's right.
I know about that bird.
I didn't know you
were a budgie man.
I'm not, I'm not. I just remember
reading about it in the dentist's office.
- Oh.
- The bird was called Sandy,
and was owned by Mrs. Irene
Pauls of Staines, in Middlesex.
Yes, yes. Beautiful
country, Middlesex.
You know, I drove through there on my
way down to London from Manchester. Oh.
Excuse me for correcting you, Ed, but
that would be the Midlands, not Middlesex.
Thank you very much, Stephens.
Well, do you suppose it's possible to
do a little constructive work around here?
Oh, sure, Ed. Sure!
That's no good. Mm-mmm.
Wait a minute.
Now here's something I like!
Simple, plain, almost Baroque.
Oh, excuse me, Ed, but,
um, if memory serves me,
the Baroque period in
art was highly ornamental.
It followed the Renaissance and found
its extreme expression in the rococo.
What are you doing, taking
extension courses in everything?
Knock it off, will you,
Darrin? Sorry, Larry.
Just popped into my mind.
Art 101. Professor Eckhart.
Monday, Wednesday
and Friday at 10:00.
I got a B-minus. He had
a good-looking daughter.
[Chuckles] Darrin, you're flunking
your postgraduate course in advertising.
Sorry. Uh, sorry, Ed.
[Chuckles] Here we are.
Well, I'll tell you something
I discovered about Larry.
He doesn't like for
me to charge things.
He'd rather give me the
cash. It seems to give him...
a sense of power and
of being charitable to me.
Very interesting. Louise!
[Louise] Hi! How are you, dear?
I know what you want.
Just tell me how much.
Oh, this is Mr. Pennybaker,
our favorite client.
My wife Louise and Mrs.
Stephens. How are you?
How do you do? How do you do?
Darrin was telling me about you last night.
I hear you have three wonderful children.
Oh, yes, I do indeed.
And you know,
it's a pleasure working
with your husband.
Will this be enough,
darling? Without looking, no.
Mr. Pennybaker, if you
and your wife aren't busy,
why don't you join
us for dinner tonight?
- Well, that would be fine.
- Oh, good, good.
Samantha, we'll expect
you and Darrin too.
Just a minute. I
believe it's our turn.
Oh, oh, yes. Yes,
please let us do it.
Darrin, it isn't
your turn at all.
You still have a rain check from
that Thursday a month before last...
when we invited you
and you didn't show up.
I didn't hear a thing about it. Next
time you want us for dinner, just call me.
Don't tell your husband
to tell my husband.
Wait a minute. Darrin didn't tell me
about a dinner date. I'd never forget that.
Are you trying to say I
didn't tell you? Sweetheart,
even if you did, it doesn't
make any difference.
I tell you, I told
him! Let me see.
Now I remember! After I
told him, he made a note of it...
in the margin of a sketch we were
working on for the McCollins account.
Marvelous! He even remembers
things that never happened.
Oh, Larry. If that's
the way it's going to be.
You want proof, huh? Okay.
Okay, okay.
[Woman] Yes, Mr. Tate?
This is Mr. Stephens, Betty.
Will you please send in the
McCollins account? Yes, sir.
Oh, Darrin, don't! Louise,
I really wasn't upset.
I just assumed that
Darrin forgot to tell Larry.
That's another reason I
want to get this settled.
Oh, men! Men! Thank you, Betty.
Oh, there we are.
"Dinner with the
Stephenses, Thursday, 7:00."
Let me see that.
Hmm, that is your handwriting,
dear. Well, what if it is?
What does that prove? See,
I did remember to tell him.
Oh, Samantha, it was our
fault. I'm dreadfully sorry.
Oh, don't be silly, Louise. This
whole thing is ridiculous. Larry?
I'm sorry, Samantha.
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you, Louise.
Mr. Pennybaker, in
case you're wondering...
where you're going to have
dinner tonight, it'll be at our house.
All right, Louise? Anything,
but let's go shopping.
Yes, well, I... I think
I'd better go too.
I'll walk you ladies out.
You know, not too long ago,
a dispute like this could have
ended on the dueling field.
Everything according
to the code duello.
Ladies, you probably
don't know this, but the
dueling code has a
very interesting history.
Now you take the age of chivalry.
A gentleman in those days...
Pleased with yourself?
Well, I'm sorry, Larry.
But you've been bugging me about my
memory. I've been trying to improve it.
I know Ed Pennybaker. He considers
himself an authority on everything.
He likes to be on!
I didn't notice. How could you?
You were talking all the time.
Larry, you've got to admit that I did
remember every detail of his account.
Yes. Yes.
Now I wish you would go to your
office and practice a little forgetting.
I can't. That's the
wonderful thing. I can't.
And, Larry, I want to thank you for
insisting that I improve my memory.
Thanks, Lar.
Oh, I'm slow.
English literature, room
314, new annex building.
"The Destruction of
Sennacherib," by Lord Byron.
"The Assyrian came down
like the wolf on the fold,
his cohorts were gleaming
in purple and gold..."
"The stockings were hung
by the chimney with care...
in hopes that St. Nicholas
soon would be there"?
It's not total recall yet.
[Betty] Mr. Stephens?
Yes, Betty?
I have this international
products letter for you to sign.
Oh, good.
Betty, uh, you have
a semicolon here...
in the fourth sentence
where I dictated a colon.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's all right. You can
fix it with an eraser.
Oh, fine.
Send that right out. Thank you.
Which reminds me. That's
the fourth time this year...
you've made the same mistake.
The first time was in February
in a letter to the Frisbee account.
Then the second time was
concerning the Rawback account.
That was on April 12.
And most recently it was in a
letter to Clyde, Burke and Weil.
Only this time you made
the same mistake in reverse...
A colon instead of semicolon.
Better watch that. Yes, sir!
It's coming back.
It's coming back.
Oh! Let me guess.
[In Deep Voice] Go
ahead. The milkman?
Right. How 'bout
payin' your bill, lady?
There. Where's my change?
Oh, Darrin, they're lovely!
What's the occasion?
It's an anniversary.
Of what? Our first quarrel.
Oh. How very thoughtful of you.
I was remembering how nice
it was making up afterwards.
Yes, that was nice.
Thank you.
I remember I took you to dinner,
the theater and dancing afterwards.
Oh, yes. You were so
charming and gallant.
Remember the funny little waiter with
the toupee? You were very romantic too.
And the bandleader who
was smashed out of his skull?
No, but I remember
how sweet you were...
Oh, honey, you
must remember him.
They had him propped up
between two music stands.
It was the night we had
the fight. It all started...
Oh, Darrin, I can't even
remember what the fight was about.
I can. It was the time you were going
to meet me outside my office building...
and you were waiting at the wrong
entrance, which left me standing...
for one solid hour
in the pouring rain.
You do remember that, don't you?
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
Why did you go to
the side entrance?
You always go to the front
entrance, and that's where I waited.
I was waiting there because
you asked me to meet you there.
Why would I do a thing like
that? You made a mistake.
You were just too wet
and irritable to admit it.
It was for your
convenience that I was there!
You were doing some shopping in
that dress store on the side street!
That's ridiculous, Darrin. That
shop never had anything I wanted.
For your information, that was the
day and the place where you bought...
that yellow dress that you gave
to the rummage committee...
along with that chocolate
cake that you whipped up!
Don't you raise your voice
like that to me. There, you see?
You always say that whenever
I'm right, and I'm right, aren't I?
All right. You're right.
Here. Take your raggedy
old flowers and press
them in your dumb old
instant memory book!
Well!
If it's wrong for a man
to try to improve himself...
To study hard to
get ahead in his job...
so that he can do better
by his wife and child, well...
Darrin... I'm sorry.
Don't you think you've
improved your memory enough?
Can't you just forget
about the rest of the book?
Samantha, if it weren't for that
book, I wouldn't have remembered...
about our first quarrel and I wouldn't
have brought you these flowers.
And we wouldn't be
having this brand-new fight.
I'm sorry.
They're lovely.
And I love you very much.
I love you very
much. [Both Chuckle]
Oh, that makes
it all worthwhile.
Which reminds me of the time...
Listen. But none of you
remember the really early cars.
Now I mean the first ones.
For instance, who remembers...
the Lexington Minuteman?
Now, there... It
was a four-cylinder,
four-passenger
sports car, early 1900s.
But the interesting thing
is it had bucket seats.
My Great Aunt Emma had
one. Hadn't thought of it in years.
[Giggles] Now that's all
right, as far as you went.
But the valve system...
Ed, to be completely accurate,
the Lexington was hardly
one of your first cars.
After all, the internal
combustion engine...
The first patent was taken
out in 1886 by Gottlieb Daimler.
And credit is generally
given to a man named Krebs...
for all the features that we
find in today's modern car.
He designed the
Panhard in 1894 which...
Right! Would you
mind refilling my glass?
Uh, darling, since when have
you been so interested in old cars?
Yes, I was
wondering that myself.
Well, I'm not. But I was doing
some research in automobiles...
for a motor car campaign
back on June 16, 1963,
and I just picked up a little
information here and there.
Picked up? You
made a career of it.
My refill, please?
Yes.
Ed. Ed, Darrin tells me that
you're quite a music lover.
Yes, Ed. Tell us about it.
Well, I must say I do pride
myself on my knowledge of...
Does your husband
know music, Samantha?
- Not really, no.
- We hope.
Well, you see, I'm
particularly interested...
in that creative giant,
Ludwig van Beethoven.
[Sighs]
Beethoven? How nice!
You know, there's
an enduring vitality...
in all the great music
of the classical period.
Now you take Beethoven...
Uh, excuse me, Ed,
but as I understand it, Beethoven
was what we call a transition composer.
- Darrin...
- Now,
the composers of your classical
period were Haydn, Mozart.
Your romantic composers...
Chopin, Schumann.
Beethoven and Schubert...
They came in between,
therefore, transition... Q.E.D.
Y-Your husband doesn't
know music? [Chuckles]
I don't. Uh, just
something I picked up...
from the notes
on a record album.
You remember, Louise... that
album of symphony favorites...
you gave to me on my
birthday eight years ago.
So now it's our fault, huh?
Ed, Larry's been thinking
of putting in a wine cellar,
and we don't know
anything about it.
I just wondered if you could
advise us on anything we should get.
Oh, boy! [Sighs]
As a matter of fact...
There's something about French
wines I'll bet none of you know.
In 1875... Darrin!
In a moment, dear. There was a
terrible blight in the French vineyards.
Darrin, I'd like to
see you in the kitchen.
Right now.
Oh. Well, excuse me, folks.
Back in a minute. Why
don't you take over, Ed?
Thank you.
Now, about that wine cellar.
Now that's something I really
know. We built one, you know.
Well, what has gotten into you?
Honey, isn't it marvelous? Only a
few sessions with that great little book,
and already my memory's
increased a thousand percent!
I can't imagine what it'll be like
after I finish it. I dread the thought.
What do you mean? Don't you see
that Ed's just about ready to kill you?
Why? We have so many
interests in common!
Honey, can't you
see? Isn't it exciting?
It's total recall.
That's what it is.
And your mother thought
I couldn't handle it. Ha!
My mother?
I haven't seen my
mother in two weeks.
But Darrin has.
Mother?
Mother!
Well! Unbearable, isn't he?
You did it, didn't you?
I warned him he'd be
impossible to live with.
You mean, he asked
you for the power?
No, no. He thinks he's doing the whole
thing with that little pointed head of his.
And may I say...
he's on the way to becoming...
the champion bore of the world.
You take that spell off him.
But, Samantha, I didn't
put the spell on him.
Witch's honor!
If you didn't put
a spell on him,
then it must be something
he has with him... some object.
What? That's for me to
know and you to find out.
There's a nice little
challenge for you, dear.
Something he's wearing?
Something he has
with him all the time?
Let me know how it comes out.
I'm taking off to Rio.
Really!
Something, something.
Tsk!
No, no, Ed. It wasn't that
way at all. If you'll excuse me.
Columbia came to the
Rose Bowl to play Stanford.
Nobody gave 'em a chance. They
played the game in a pouring rain.
It was a scoreless tie
in the fourth quarter.
My Uncle Max told me all
about it when I was a little kid.
Columbia's coach, Lou Little,
had worked out a key play.
At the right moment,
Columbia's quarterback...
faded back with the
ball, and he threw it!
Oh, I'll get it, Darrin.
You tell Ed all about it.
Well, he threw
it to, uh... Um...
Uh, what's his name? It's
right on the tip of my tongue.
Um, what is his
name, Ed? Help me!
His name was
Barabas... Al Barabas.
He scored a touchdown, they converted,
the final score was seven to nothing...
and you lost $35 to Jess
Wallach when you couldn't afford it.
How about that? Yes!
Well, how'd you know that,
Cynthia? Well, I don't know.
Yes, I do. I've
heard that story...
Let's see. Ed and I have
been married 15 years.
He's told the story
at least twice a week.
That means I would have
heard it at least 1,560 times.
- What?
- Oh, I know his fishing story
almost as well.
He's only told that 1,422 times.
All right, Cynthia. Oh,
just a minute, darling.
How would you like to
hear about orchid raising?
He just started that 10 years ago,
so he's only told that 836 times.
I didn't realize that I
monopolize the conversation.
Oh, but you do, darling. Oh, let me
tell you about our 10th anniversary.
We decided to go back to
Niagara Falls to recapture romance.
We had a lovely
view of the falls.
I saw them, but I
never heard them.
There was something
drowning them out.
Cynthia!
Oh, I'm sorry, Ed.
I shouldn't have said all that.
But suddenly something
came over me...
and, all of a sudden,
everything came back.
Was I as bad as
that? I didn't realize.
You mean I go on and on and
on about anything, everything?
The way he does?
Oh, gee, everybody,
I'm sorry if I was
talking too much.
Sam, was I?
Uh, Samantha, why don't
you give Darrin and Ed...
something else to think about...
like maybe some food for thought?
Oh, that's an
excellent idea, Larry.
Well, if memory
serves, dinner is ready.
Morning, sweetheart. Morning.
Honey, where's my
instant memory book?
Darrin, after all we've been through,
what do you want that thing for?
I misplaced my
watch. I thought a quick
review would help me
remember where I left it.
Oh, well, I took it.
The strap was broken.
I'm gonna have it
fixed. I forgot to tell you.
You see? It's my
memory, not yours.
I have a strange feeling there is
something wrong with my memory.
Hmm? All that total recall.
That couldn't have been entirely
from that book. What conversation...
did I have with your mother
that slipped my mind...
like I wish every conversation
I had with your mother would?
You suspect my mother?
Tsk! Why, Darrin, I
find that hard to believe.
I bet you find it
harder to deny.
Hmm, much harder.
But I love you,
so could you try and
forget about Mother...
and memory...
and remembering... And
concentrate on that, hmm?
Cinch.
Oh, is something the matter?
Yeah, Larry and I ran into
an important client today,
and I couldn't remember the
man's name... and he knew it.
Oh, sweetheart, that happens to
everyone once in a while. It's natural.
Well, it's been happening too often,
and it's not going to happen again.
I'm going to do something
about it. In fact, I already have.
I bought this book.
I read the first two chapters on the
train on the way home. It's fascinating.
Oh! Instant Memory Can Be Yours.
That's nice. You start your
homework. I'll start dinner.
Chapter three.
[Laughing]
Ah, testing your memory,
dear? Do you remember me?
I wouldn't mind
forgetting you, Endora.
A perfect memory! [Scoffs]
It's ridiculous. What's
so ridiculous about it?
Well, the ability to forget is
very important to you mortals.
You do so many stupid things, a perfect
memory would be impossible to live with.
Is that so?
Total recall can only be
handled by a strong, mature mind.
And where does that
leave you, Dawson?
It leaves me wishing that you
would mind your own business.
Excuse me if I ignore you.
[Chuckling] So you want
a perfect memory, huh?
- Cynthia! - [Samantha] Who?
The wife of the man whose name I
couldn't remember! Cynthia Pennybaker!
That's it! Isn't that
marvelous? Wonderful!
I-I... My memory's working. I
remember a lot of things about him.
He loves Beethoven,
hates Wagner.
He raises parakeets.
He's got three children...
Mark, age 14, Sylvia, age 11,
and a little 3-year-old named Willie!
- Fascinating.
- Yes, isn't it?
And I only just began
the third chapter.
Good morning,
sweetheart. Mmm! Hi.
Hey, hot cakes and
blueberries! Mm-hmm.
Thought I'd give you
something different.
Oh, it's not different. You
fixed them once before.
No, I don't think so.
It was, uh, September
14, raining, Saturday.
You were wearing the yellow
dress with white polka dots.
That yellow dress. I wonder
what ever happened to it.
I liked it. I'll
have to look for it.
Mm-mmm. You gave it away to
Mrs. Dumont for the rummage sale.
That's right. I did.
That was the same
rummage sale that you
whipped up that enormous
chocolate cake for.
It was an emergency. It
was also a very good cause.
Five minutes
after I'd told you no
witchcraft, and you
had faithfully promised.
Darrin, while you're remembering,
do you also remember that...
every time you bring up that
chocolate cake we get into an argument?
How about forgetting it, hmm?
I'll drop the subject.
But I'll never forget it.
[Intercom Buzzes] Yeah, Larry.
Darrin, Mr. Pennybaker
is here. Mr. Pennybaker.
I wonder if you'd mind
coming in. My pleasure.
And every parakeet... Or
budgie, as we call them...
That I've got, I've practically
hand-raised from an egg.
How about that.
Your average bird isn't very
intelligent, you know. [Door Opens]
But those little budgies...
Oh, Ed, I don't know whether you
remember Darrin Stephens or not.
Oh, yes, yes. I
remember Stephens,
but I'm not too sure
whether he remembers me.
Well, of course I do,
Mr. Pennybaker. How are you?
Fine, fine, thank you.
And how are the children...
Mark and Sylvia, your
little three-year-old Willie?
Well, they're just fine.
And, uh... call me Ed.
Huh? Well, thank you, Ed.
Ed was just telling me some
fascinating things about his parakeets.
Yes. I've got a bird that picks
up a new word every week.
There's no telling how
far that bird can go.
I remember reading in the
dentist's office about a budgerigar...
Or a budgie, as they're called...
Owned by an English woman.
That bird knew 12
nursery rhymes by heart...
and had a vocabulary
of over 300 words.
Oh, come off it, Darrin.
No. No, no. He's right.
I know about that bird.
I didn't know you
were a budgie man.
I'm not, I'm not. I just remember
reading about it in the dentist's office.
- Oh.
- The bird was called Sandy,
and was owned by Mrs. Irene
Pauls of Staines, in Middlesex.
Yes, yes. Beautiful
country, Middlesex.
You know, I drove through there on my
way down to London from Manchester. Oh.
Excuse me for correcting you, Ed, but
that would be the Midlands, not Middlesex.
Thank you very much, Stephens.
Well, do you suppose it's possible to
do a little constructive work around here?
Oh, sure, Ed. Sure!
That's no good. Mm-mmm.
Wait a minute.
Now here's something I like!
Simple, plain, almost Baroque.
Oh, excuse me, Ed, but,
um, if memory serves me,
the Baroque period in
art was highly ornamental.
It followed the Renaissance and found
its extreme expression in the rococo.
What are you doing, taking
extension courses in everything?
Knock it off, will you,
Darrin? Sorry, Larry.
Just popped into my mind.
Art 101. Professor Eckhart.
Monday, Wednesday
and Friday at 10:00.
I got a B-minus. He had
a good-looking daughter.
[Chuckles] Darrin, you're flunking
your postgraduate course in advertising.
Sorry. Uh, sorry, Ed.
[Chuckles] Here we are.
Well, I'll tell you something
I discovered about Larry.
He doesn't like for
me to charge things.
He'd rather give me the
cash. It seems to give him...
a sense of power and
of being charitable to me.
Very interesting. Louise!
[Louise] Hi! How are you, dear?
I know what you want.
Just tell me how much.
Oh, this is Mr. Pennybaker,
our favorite client.
My wife Louise and Mrs.
Stephens. How are you?
How do you do? How do you do?
Darrin was telling me about you last night.
I hear you have three wonderful children.
Oh, yes, I do indeed.
And you know,
it's a pleasure working
with your husband.
Will this be enough,
darling? Without looking, no.
Mr. Pennybaker, if you
and your wife aren't busy,
why don't you join
us for dinner tonight?
- Well, that would be fine.
- Oh, good, good.
Samantha, we'll expect
you and Darrin too.
Just a minute. I
believe it's our turn.
Oh, oh, yes. Yes,
please let us do it.
Darrin, it isn't
your turn at all.
You still have a rain check from
that Thursday a month before last...
when we invited you
and you didn't show up.
I didn't hear a thing about it. Next
time you want us for dinner, just call me.
Don't tell your husband
to tell my husband.
Wait a minute. Darrin didn't tell me
about a dinner date. I'd never forget that.
Are you trying to say I
didn't tell you? Sweetheart,
even if you did, it doesn't
make any difference.
I tell you, I told
him! Let me see.
Now I remember! After I
told him, he made a note of it...
in the margin of a sketch we were
working on for the McCollins account.
Marvelous! He even remembers
things that never happened.
Oh, Larry. If that's
the way it's going to be.
You want proof, huh? Okay.
Okay, okay.
[Woman] Yes, Mr. Tate?
This is Mr. Stephens, Betty.
Will you please send in the
McCollins account? Yes, sir.
Oh, Darrin, don't! Louise,
I really wasn't upset.
I just assumed that
Darrin forgot to tell Larry.
That's another reason I
want to get this settled.
Oh, men! Men! Thank you, Betty.
Oh, there we are.
"Dinner with the
Stephenses, Thursday, 7:00."
Let me see that.
Hmm, that is your handwriting,
dear. Well, what if it is?
What does that prove? See,
I did remember to tell him.
Oh, Samantha, it was our
fault. I'm dreadfully sorry.
Oh, don't be silly, Louise. This
whole thing is ridiculous. Larry?
I'm sorry, Samantha.
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you, Louise.
Mr. Pennybaker, in
case you're wondering...
where you're going to have
dinner tonight, it'll be at our house.
All right, Louise? Anything,
but let's go shopping.
Yes, well, I... I think
I'd better go too.
I'll walk you ladies out.
You know, not too long ago,
a dispute like this could have
ended on the dueling field.
Everything according
to the code duello.
Ladies, you probably
don't know this, but the
dueling code has a
very interesting history.
Now you take the age of chivalry.
A gentleman in those days...
Pleased with yourself?
Well, I'm sorry, Larry.
But you've been bugging me about my
memory. I've been trying to improve it.
I know Ed Pennybaker. He considers
himself an authority on everything.
He likes to be on!
I didn't notice. How could you?
You were talking all the time.
Larry, you've got to admit that I did
remember every detail of his account.
Yes. Yes.
Now I wish you would go to your
office and practice a little forgetting.
I can't. That's the
wonderful thing. I can't.
And, Larry, I want to thank you for
insisting that I improve my memory.
Thanks, Lar.
Oh, I'm slow.
English literature, room
314, new annex building.
"The Destruction of
Sennacherib," by Lord Byron.
"The Assyrian came down
like the wolf on the fold,
his cohorts were gleaming
in purple and gold..."
"The stockings were hung
by the chimney with care...
in hopes that St. Nicholas
soon would be there"?
It's not total recall yet.
[Betty] Mr. Stephens?
Yes, Betty?
I have this international
products letter for you to sign.
Oh, good.
Betty, uh, you have
a semicolon here...
in the fourth sentence
where I dictated a colon.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's all right. You can
fix it with an eraser.
Oh, fine.
Send that right out. Thank you.
Which reminds me. That's
the fourth time this year...
you've made the same mistake.
The first time was in February
in a letter to the Frisbee account.
Then the second time was
concerning the Rawback account.
That was on April 12.
And most recently it was in a
letter to Clyde, Burke and Weil.
Only this time you made
the same mistake in reverse...
A colon instead of semicolon.
Better watch that. Yes, sir!
It's coming back.
It's coming back.
Oh! Let me guess.
[In Deep Voice] Go
ahead. The milkman?
Right. How 'bout
payin' your bill, lady?
There. Where's my change?
Oh, Darrin, they're lovely!
What's the occasion?
It's an anniversary.
Of what? Our first quarrel.
Oh. How very thoughtful of you.
I was remembering how nice
it was making up afterwards.
Yes, that was nice.
Thank you.
I remember I took you to dinner,
the theater and dancing afterwards.
Oh, yes. You were so
charming and gallant.
Remember the funny little waiter with
the toupee? You were very romantic too.
And the bandleader who
was smashed out of his skull?
No, but I remember
how sweet you were...
Oh, honey, you
must remember him.
They had him propped up
between two music stands.
It was the night we had
the fight. It all started...
Oh, Darrin, I can't even
remember what the fight was about.
I can. It was the time you were going
to meet me outside my office building...
and you were waiting at the wrong
entrance, which left me standing...
for one solid hour
in the pouring rain.
You do remember that, don't you?
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
Why did you go to
the side entrance?
You always go to the front
entrance, and that's where I waited.
I was waiting there because
you asked me to meet you there.
Why would I do a thing like
that? You made a mistake.
You were just too wet
and irritable to admit it.
It was for your
convenience that I was there!
You were doing some shopping in
that dress store on the side street!
That's ridiculous, Darrin. That
shop never had anything I wanted.
For your information, that was the
day and the place where you bought...
that yellow dress that you gave
to the rummage committee...
along with that chocolate
cake that you whipped up!
Don't you raise your voice
like that to me. There, you see?
You always say that whenever
I'm right, and I'm right, aren't I?
All right. You're right.
Here. Take your raggedy
old flowers and press
them in your dumb old
instant memory book!
Well!
If it's wrong for a man
to try to improve himself...
To study hard to
get ahead in his job...
so that he can do better
by his wife and child, well...
Darrin... I'm sorry.
Don't you think you've
improved your memory enough?
Can't you just forget
about the rest of the book?
Samantha, if it weren't for that
book, I wouldn't have remembered...
about our first quarrel and I wouldn't
have brought you these flowers.
And we wouldn't be
having this brand-new fight.
I'm sorry.
They're lovely.
And I love you very much.
I love you very
much. [Both Chuckle]
Oh, that makes
it all worthwhile.
Which reminds me of the time...
Listen. But none of you
remember the really early cars.
Now I mean the first ones.
For instance, who remembers...
the Lexington Minuteman?
Now, there... It
was a four-cylinder,
four-passenger
sports car, early 1900s.
But the interesting thing
is it had bucket seats.
My Great Aunt Emma had
one. Hadn't thought of it in years.
[Giggles] Now that's all
right, as far as you went.
But the valve system...
Ed, to be completely accurate,
the Lexington was hardly
one of your first cars.
After all, the internal
combustion engine...
The first patent was taken
out in 1886 by Gottlieb Daimler.
And credit is generally
given to a man named Krebs...
for all the features that we
find in today's modern car.
He designed the
Panhard in 1894 which...
Right! Would you
mind refilling my glass?
Uh, darling, since when have
you been so interested in old cars?
Yes, I was
wondering that myself.
Well, I'm not. But I was doing
some research in automobiles...
for a motor car campaign
back on June 16, 1963,
and I just picked up a little
information here and there.
Picked up? You
made a career of it.
My refill, please?
Yes.
Ed. Ed, Darrin tells me that
you're quite a music lover.
Yes, Ed. Tell us about it.
Well, I must say I do pride
myself on my knowledge of...
Does your husband
know music, Samantha?
- Not really, no.
- We hope.
Well, you see, I'm
particularly interested...
in that creative giant,
Ludwig van Beethoven.
[Sighs]
Beethoven? How nice!
You know, there's
an enduring vitality...
in all the great music
of the classical period.
Now you take Beethoven...
Uh, excuse me, Ed,
but as I understand it, Beethoven
was what we call a transition composer.
- Darrin...
- Now,
the composers of your classical
period were Haydn, Mozart.
Your romantic composers...
Chopin, Schumann.
Beethoven and Schubert...
They came in between,
therefore, transition... Q.E.D.
Y-Your husband doesn't
know music? [Chuckles]
I don't. Uh, just
something I picked up...
from the notes
on a record album.
You remember, Louise... that
album of symphony favorites...
you gave to me on my
birthday eight years ago.
So now it's our fault, huh?
Ed, Larry's been thinking
of putting in a wine cellar,
and we don't know
anything about it.
I just wondered if you could
advise us on anything we should get.
Oh, boy! [Sighs]
As a matter of fact...
There's something about French
wines I'll bet none of you know.
In 1875... Darrin!
In a moment, dear. There was a
terrible blight in the French vineyards.
Darrin, I'd like to
see you in the kitchen.
Right now.
Oh. Well, excuse me, folks.
Back in a minute. Why
don't you take over, Ed?
Thank you.
Now, about that wine cellar.
Now that's something I really
know. We built one, you know.
Well, what has gotten into you?
Honey, isn't it marvelous? Only a
few sessions with that great little book,
and already my memory's
increased a thousand percent!
I can't imagine what it'll be like
after I finish it. I dread the thought.
What do you mean? Don't you see
that Ed's just about ready to kill you?
Why? We have so many
interests in common!
Honey, can't you
see? Isn't it exciting?
It's total recall.
That's what it is.
And your mother thought
I couldn't handle it. Ha!
My mother?
I haven't seen my
mother in two weeks.
But Darrin has.
Mother?
Mother!
Well! Unbearable, isn't he?
You did it, didn't you?
I warned him he'd be
impossible to live with.
You mean, he asked
you for the power?
No, no. He thinks he's doing the whole
thing with that little pointed head of his.
And may I say...
he's on the way to becoming...
the champion bore of the world.
You take that spell off him.
But, Samantha, I didn't
put the spell on him.
Witch's honor!
If you didn't put
a spell on him,
then it must be something
he has with him... some object.
What? That's for me to
know and you to find out.
There's a nice little
challenge for you, dear.
Something he's wearing?
Something he has
with him all the time?
Let me know how it comes out.
I'm taking off to Rio.
Really!
Something, something.
Tsk!
No, no, Ed. It wasn't that
way at all. If you'll excuse me.
Columbia came to the
Rose Bowl to play Stanford.
Nobody gave 'em a chance. They
played the game in a pouring rain.
It was a scoreless tie
in the fourth quarter.
My Uncle Max told me all
about it when I was a little kid.
Columbia's coach, Lou Little,
had worked out a key play.
At the right moment,
Columbia's quarterback...
faded back with the
ball, and he threw it!
Oh, I'll get it, Darrin.
You tell Ed all about it.
Well, he threw
it to, uh... Um...
Uh, what's his name? It's
right on the tip of my tongue.
Um, what is his
name, Ed? Help me!
His name was
Barabas... Al Barabas.
He scored a touchdown, they converted,
the final score was seven to nothing...
and you lost $35 to Jess
Wallach when you couldn't afford it.
How about that? Yes!
Well, how'd you know that,
Cynthia? Well, I don't know.
Yes, I do. I've
heard that story...
Let's see. Ed and I have
been married 15 years.
He's told the story
at least twice a week.
That means I would have
heard it at least 1,560 times.
- What?
- Oh, I know his fishing story
almost as well.
He's only told that 1,422 times.
All right, Cynthia. Oh,
just a minute, darling.
How would you like to
hear about orchid raising?
He just started that 10 years ago,
so he's only told that 836 times.
I didn't realize that I
monopolize the conversation.
Oh, but you do, darling. Oh, let me
tell you about our 10th anniversary.
We decided to go back to
Niagara Falls to recapture romance.
We had a lovely
view of the falls.
I saw them, but I
never heard them.
There was something
drowning them out.
Cynthia!
Oh, I'm sorry, Ed.
I shouldn't have said all that.
But suddenly something
came over me...
and, all of a sudden,
everything came back.
Was I as bad as
that? I didn't realize.
You mean I go on and on and
on about anything, everything?
The way he does?
Oh, gee, everybody,
I'm sorry if I was
talking too much.
Sam, was I?
Uh, Samantha, why don't
you give Darrin and Ed...
something else to think about...
like maybe some food for thought?
Oh, that's an
excellent idea, Larry.
Well, if memory
serves, dinner is ready.
Morning, sweetheart. Morning.
Honey, where's my
instant memory book?
Darrin, after all we've been through,
what do you want that thing for?
I misplaced my
watch. I thought a quick
review would help me
remember where I left it.
Oh, well, I took it.
The strap was broken.
I'm gonna have it
fixed. I forgot to tell you.
You see? It's my
memory, not yours.
I have a strange feeling there is
something wrong with my memory.
Hmm? All that total recall.
That couldn't have been entirely
from that book. What conversation...
did I have with your mother
that slipped my mind...
like I wish every conversation
I had with your mother would?
You suspect my mother?
Tsk! Why, Darrin, I
find that hard to believe.
I bet you find it
harder to deny.
Hmm, much harder.
But I love you,
so could you try and
forget about Mother...
and memory...
and remembering... And
concentrate on that, hmm?
Cinch.