Better Things (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Better Things - full transcript
Sam brings home a colleague for dinner.
God damn it!
Mother, you had me
but I never had you
I, I wanted you
you didn't want me
so do me a favor
and wake him up a bit.
Huh?
Just, it's on him now,
so I need you
to surprise him
because he's, he's
too controlled now.
Okay.
Do you mind?
No. Totally, I,
i think I got it.
All right, good.
Okay.
Okay, last looks, please.
So... it's the big
turning point now, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
This is on you,
this is real close.
We want to see
this thing hit you, right?
Yeah, I got it.
And, and... The feeling.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, uh...
Thanks, kunta.
Are you, uh, above this?
Because I want to...
You're tight.
You're tight.
All right,
all right.
All right,
finishing up.
Here we go.
All right, and
let's roll sound, please.
Rolling, rolling.
Quiet, please.
Sound speed.
Marker.
Uh...
Cameras are set.
Action.
So I'm really sorry.
There's nothing I can do.
You lost custody
of Maggie.
Oh, my god, Maggie.
Yeah.
You're never gonna
see her again,
and it's all your fault.
What?
Cut!
Why did you say that?
That's...
Sorry.
That's, that's
not in the script.
Sorry.
That's not in the script.
That felt...
That felt weird.
Big man, that was...
That was amazing.
Yeah?
It's a great, great day.
It's a great,
great day.
You're doing... yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Right.
Thank you.
Hey.
Hey.
How are you holding up?
I'm all right.
You know, it's, uh,
this is work, but, uh,
yeah.
I'm blessed to be working.
That is right.
I just want to say
I'm a fan from way back.
I mean, you are great.
Oh, no, no.
Well, then it's only
fair to tell you
that my brother
and I used to say
"oh, stop it"
all the time.
Oh, my god,
that's a nightmare.
No, no.
Seriously,
that show killed us.
And when you did
the sad episodes,
we'd both pretend
not to be crying.
Aw.
Yeah, the sad shows
were the best.
I don't need you.
I don't need anybody.
Well,
not to jerk
each other off too much,
but move down is my Bible.
And it formed me.
Really?
Yeah. It did.
I know it doesn't match,
but continuity's
for pussies, right?
Uh...
So teak's a Buddhist now.
Right? It's cool.
Or hindu.
Prayer-prayer beads?
Yeah.
He's...
Well... we used to both
do our own thing,
and, uh, now we're
doing his thing.
Yeah, but it's good to work
with good people, though,
along the way.
Well, that's what
keeps me going.
You doing okay?
Yeah. I mean,
it's hard for me
being out here.
I mean, i-i need
my-my home comforts
and, uh...
Living in a hotel
for a month,
you know, gets
old, but, uh,
yeah, of course it does.
I'm whining.
No, no. Everybody
needs to be home.
You should come
to my house for dinner.
Come have dinner
with me and my girls.
And my mom.
Just be
with a family for a night.
You could have
some home-cooked food
or some home-ordered takeout.
Come on, Mel, we're bros.
Seriously?
Because, I mean,
i mean, I'm-I'm tempted.
Yeah, you want
to come tomorrow?
Um, I could swing tomorrow.
Good.
You're coming.
Tomorrow.
You bet.
Wait. I'm sorry.
Was that Mel trueblood?
Yeah.
Are you having dirty
with Mel trueblood?
Oh, my god,
i love your life.
You love what you
pretend my life is.
And no, we're not doing
any dirty things.
You are.
You totally are.
How would I not tell you?
On what planet
am I not telling you?
Okay, so you're hoping.
No.
No, he's a nice guy.
And, uh,
he's also a genius.
Sunny, stop.
That's gross.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm
sorry for being gross.
Yeah. I mean,
he's cute,
he's sexy.
And I'm pretty sure
he's married.
Let's find out.
What are you doing?
Don't.
I'm googling your
genius new boyfriend.
No, no. Not while
you're driving.
We're gonna get
into an accident.
I hate this!
Dummy...
This is nervous...
A Tesla.
It drives itself.
Can you please put
your hands on the wheel?
This gives me a terrible
feeling in my stomach.
I hate it.
Aw, man, he's
wicked married.
Okay, good.
Now you driving
and not the robot doing it.
Thank you.
Okay.
Do you have to
go right home?
Yeah, honey.
I don't want to go out.
No, just come over
for a little bit.
Fine.
Oh! You know, you still
could sleep with him.
Who?
Mr. mo' money
farouk back there.
You just have to promise
to tell me if you do.
You promise to tell
me if you do.
Pinky swear right now
before we go into the house.
I'm not gonna do it.
He's married.
Uh-huh.
Will you make me
a lemon drop?
Totally.
Hey, Sammy.
Hi, Jeff.
Hey, hon.
Hey, baby. Your I, uh,
deal keeps making noise.
Yeah, I know.
Can you look at it
like I asked you?
All my stuff is broken.
Oh, Jesus,
I'm so tired.
You know what, though?
Later, maybe.
So are you wasted right now?
Okay, eat shit.
Kidding.
You know, but eat you
some shit, though.
Right?
Baby!
Eh, women, huh?
Yeah.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
Seriously,
though,
she's often a psycho.
Right, Sam?
Yeah.
I mean...
I don't want to preach
to the choir.
No, totally.
I get it.
You're awesome, Sammy.
Yeah.
Hey, seriously,
for a second, though,
like, what would she
do without me?
You know?
Or you, for that matter.
I mean, I know I don't
have to tell you.
It's like you know...
You know her forever.
You guys go, like, way back.
Yeah.
We go way, way back.
You know this.
My dad and I got
in a fight, and, uh,
he kicked me
out of the house,
and I was so scared,
and she took me in,
and she got me a job.
Whoa.
Yeah, she was
19, she was already
taking care of people.
She was amazing.
She was full
of confidence.
She was so beautiful.
I mean, I never knew anybody
who had so much potential.
And then
she met you, Jeff.
Jesus, did she love you.
Yeah.
And here's sunny...
All right,
this woman who
loves so hard
and she tries so hard,
and she just ends up
pouring all of that love
into you for years.
Jeff, do you know
what that's like
to watch your friend,
someone you love,
someone who is
like a goddess
with the power
to fly to the moon
and shine a light
on the world,
and she ends up
using all of that power
just to keep
her fat, shit,
useless, boring
stoner husband
barely afloat?
It's just a shame, Jeff.
Well, here's the thing.
I know that you have...
Sucked your share
of dicks, huh?
I've heard about you.
That's okay, buddy.
Don't bother.
I don't care what you know.
Okay, well,
here's the thing.
I'm gonna have to say
that I cannot believe
that you just said
all of that to me.
Jesus, I'm offended.
Serious.
Don't worry about it.
You won't remember.
You know why I know that?
Because I said
all of this to you
five years ago,
and you don't remember
because you've smoked
10,000 joints since then,
so... good night, Jeff.
See you at the next thing.
All right, good night, Sammy.
Hello.
I'm home!
Mama, you're home.
I missed you.
Hi.
Oh!
Where were you?
Mommy had to work
today, remember?
Hey, come meet our guest!
Mel, this is Max,
and this little one
I'm holding is Duke.
She's very small.
Hiya, Duke.
Hi.
Sam?
Oh, this is
my sitter Lauren.
It's Mel.
Can I talk to you?
Yeah.
What's up?
It's just getting
really difficult the way
your girls talk to me
when you're not here,
and I just think that they
should learn some respect,
oh, okay.
And I don't know
anything about...
okay, I have
to cook good dinner,
and so thanks for coming.
I love you.
Bye.
Frankie, come here.
Mel, this is Frankie.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Wait, one more hi.
Hi.
Oh, then I got
to do this again
to make it even.
Hi.
Put on pants.
What?
Are you gonna marry him?
Hey, Duke?
Wait, so you're, like, an
actor in the movie mom's in?
No, I'm the director.
There's my mom.
You're about
to meet my mother.
Hi, mom.
Hello, sweetheart.
Mom, this is Mel.
Mel, this is
my mother Phyllis.
Oh. Hello.
Oh, hello, Mrs. fox.
It's very nice
to meet you.
Yes, well.
Mom, did you take
our phone book?
Because I noticed
all the neighbors
have their phone books.
No, no.
Why would I take
your phone book?
I took my phone book,
which was left
at your step.
No, that's mine.
I always ask for
two phone books,
and they only brought one,
so the one at your
step must be mine.
Mom!
I learned a piano
song, come listen.
Come with me to the kitchen.
Okay, off you go.
I know this one.
Um, did you
not tell your mother
that you were bringing
home a black man?
What? Oh, no.
Of course not.
That's not...
No.
I mean...
What? No!
You should've told her.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm telling you,
that's not a thing.
My mother is just insane.
She makes people feel weird.
It's like her hobby.
No, Sam.
She's over 70, okay?
You warn her that
a black man's coming over,
even if it's
to fix the cable box.
Oh, my god.
I'm telling you,
my mother is not like that.
She marched for integration.
It doesn't matter, okay?
I'm not calling
your mother racist.
I'm calling her over 70.
You tell an old white lady
ahead of time, okay?
You warn her.
It's the right thing to do
for the old lady
and the black guy coming over.
Okay. No.
I think you're wrong.
Mm-hmm.
I'm hearing you,
and I know you feel
certain of this,
but I think that this
is your thing.
That's not real.
It's not.
Oh, yeah, we don't
have a mezuzah.
What's up with that?
We're not that.
Yeah.
Max was going to dance class,
and she had this
awful stomach virus.
Frankie, don't tell that story.
It was like a dress rehearsal
for a dance concert.
Right.
And she was wearing
this white leotard.
Okay, stop it.
Stop.
No, let her tell it.
Come on.
What?!
Mm-mm.
So she misses
the, the dress rehearsal.
She's gonna be dropped
out of the concert.
Mm-hmm.
Mom!
But she has
this stomach virus...
Frankie, you can't
tell this story
'cause we're eating.
Oh, come on. Mom...
No! Shut up!
Frankie, you're stopping.
Fine. Fine.
Fine.
Thank you.
Okay, I'm done.
You're welcome.
I'm done.
And then, right in the middle
of doing a big split,
brown poop squirted
out of her butt
all over the perfect
white leotard!
Mom!
Sorry, Mel.
We like that kind
of humor at dinner.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's-it's fine.
What are you doing?
Are you, uh, still
studying dance?
I do this thing.
It's-it's a modern class.
It's based on this thing
called Alvin ailey.
I don't know if...
Sure, i-i-i studied there,
actually.
You did?
Yeah, in New York
when I was in high school.
That's great that
you're doing that.
Even if you don't
dance, which,
you know,
i gave it up when I was 19,
but you'll never regret it.
I mean,
it's still a part of me.
Yeah?
Thanks.
No, you're lucky,
because when I was your age and
i was aching to be an artist,
I had to explain
that to my parents.
My father was a janitor.
My mom's still a nurse.
But they didn't
know from art.
You're lucky because
your mother is an artist.
Well, she's not,
like, an artist.
Yes, she is.
She's, like, an artist.
Well, thank you, Mel.
That's very nice of you, Mel.
The last time
i was in London,
I went to harrods
to buy pantyhose, and so,
I go to the lingerie department,
and harrods had their
own brand of pantyhose,
and they're
the only ones I wear,
and you can only buy them
at that counter.
And their hose
Nude, white,
and nigger brown.
That was the name
of the color.
And that's the color
i always buy.
So I go to the counter,
and the young woman
who was working there
happened to be black.
And I said to her, "i would
like medium-size hose."
And she says,
"what color, please?"
And so I said,
"nigger brown."
And she was shocked.
I said it just like that.
I could see she was upset.
I said to her,
"i did you the honor
"of not noticing your color.
Would you do me the honor
of getting my item for me?"
So she went and got them,
and after that,
i paid for the hose.
Just so you know.
Oh, I need to use the loo.
You know, you have
a really nice family.
Thank you. They love you.
And I am sorry
about my mom.
No, no, no. don't be
sorry about your mom.
Never be sorry
about your mom.
No, Mel. I'm very sorry
about my shitty mother.
Okay, well, I don't know her.
No, you don't.
Um...
Yeah.
I...
You know, I have a friend
who is very invested
in wanting us to have sex.
Really?
She needs us to do it.
It's pretty bad.
Well...
But I'm not about to get into
a thing with a married guy.
That's just not,
that's not me.
Well, I mean, I'm going
through a divorce right now,
and I've been
going through a divorce,
and we've been
separated for months.
But I, uh, you know,
am going back
to New York tomorrow.
Yeah.
And as much as my brother
would want me to throw down
with Sammy fox, I mean...
Hey.
Hey. You know.
I don't know. I mean...
I mean, I like you.
But I don't want
to hook up with you.
I mean, actually,
i really like you.
Yeah, me, too.
I mean, there's...
No.
Yeah.
A feeling there.
Uh, it's...
It's a nice feeling.
Yeah.
But me, too.
I-I'm...
I don't want to...
I mean...
No, i...
Just like...
That's...
There's your ride.
That's my ride.
Yeah.
Come here.
Mm.
Oh, baby, in this world
you can't
count on nothing
one moment it's clear...
can I just tell you this was
the first peace I've felt
in a very long time?
Same.
Maybe the next one
bye, Sam.
See things always changing
see you, Mel.
Each day some new song
on the radio station
but baby, I always
will be standing
by your side
sure as the ocean
and a shoreline entwine
sure as the sun sets
in the hillside every night
I'll be by your side
lovely wife,
come with me
I'll be the same
oh baby, in this world
nothing stays
the same now
you learned
all the old rules
but it's a whole
different game.
So embarrassing!
Shut up!
I'm coming!
Mother, you had me
but I never had you
I, I wanted you
you didn't want me
so do me a favor
and wake him up a bit.
Huh?
Just, it's on him now,
so I need you
to surprise him
because he's, he's
too controlled now.
Okay.
Do you mind?
No. Totally, I,
i think I got it.
All right, good.
Okay.
Okay, last looks, please.
So... it's the big
turning point now, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
This is on you,
this is real close.
We want to see
this thing hit you, right?
Yeah, I got it.
And, and... The feeling.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, uh...
Thanks, kunta.
Are you, uh, above this?
Because I want to...
You're tight.
You're tight.
All right,
all right.
All right,
finishing up.
Here we go.
All right, and
let's roll sound, please.
Rolling, rolling.
Quiet, please.
Sound speed.
Marker.
Uh...
Cameras are set.
Action.
So I'm really sorry.
There's nothing I can do.
You lost custody
of Maggie.
Oh, my god, Maggie.
Yeah.
You're never gonna
see her again,
and it's all your fault.
What?
Cut!
Why did you say that?
That's...
Sorry.
That's, that's
not in the script.
Sorry.
That's not in the script.
That felt...
That felt weird.
Big man, that was...
That was amazing.
Yeah?
It's a great, great day.
It's a great,
great day.
You're doing... yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Right.
Thank you.
Hey.
Hey.
How are you holding up?
I'm all right.
You know, it's, uh,
this is work, but, uh,
yeah.
I'm blessed to be working.
That is right.
I just want to say
I'm a fan from way back.
I mean, you are great.
Oh, no, no.
Well, then it's only
fair to tell you
that my brother
and I used to say
"oh, stop it"
all the time.
Oh, my god,
that's a nightmare.
No, no.
Seriously,
that show killed us.
And when you did
the sad episodes,
we'd both pretend
not to be crying.
Aw.
Yeah, the sad shows
were the best.
I don't need you.
I don't need anybody.
Well,
not to jerk
each other off too much,
but move down is my Bible.
And it formed me.
Really?
Yeah. It did.
I know it doesn't match,
but continuity's
for pussies, right?
Uh...
So teak's a Buddhist now.
Right? It's cool.
Or hindu.
Prayer-prayer beads?
Yeah.
He's...
Well... we used to both
do our own thing,
and, uh, now we're
doing his thing.
Yeah, but it's good to work
with good people, though,
along the way.
Well, that's what
keeps me going.
You doing okay?
Yeah. I mean,
it's hard for me
being out here.
I mean, i-i need
my-my home comforts
and, uh...
Living in a hotel
for a month,
you know, gets
old, but, uh,
yeah, of course it does.
I'm whining.
No, no. Everybody
needs to be home.
You should come
to my house for dinner.
Come have dinner
with me and my girls.
And my mom.
Just be
with a family for a night.
You could have
some home-cooked food
or some home-ordered takeout.
Come on, Mel, we're bros.
Seriously?
Because, I mean,
i mean, I'm-I'm tempted.
Yeah, you want
to come tomorrow?
Um, I could swing tomorrow.
Good.
You're coming.
Tomorrow.
You bet.
Wait. I'm sorry.
Was that Mel trueblood?
Yeah.
Are you having dirty
with Mel trueblood?
Oh, my god,
i love your life.
You love what you
pretend my life is.
And no, we're not doing
any dirty things.
You are.
You totally are.
How would I not tell you?
On what planet
am I not telling you?
Okay, so you're hoping.
No.
No, he's a nice guy.
And, uh,
he's also a genius.
Sunny, stop.
That's gross.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm
sorry for being gross.
Yeah. I mean,
he's cute,
he's sexy.
And I'm pretty sure
he's married.
Let's find out.
What are you doing?
Don't.
I'm googling your
genius new boyfriend.
No, no. Not while
you're driving.
We're gonna get
into an accident.
I hate this!
Dummy...
This is nervous...
A Tesla.
It drives itself.
Can you please put
your hands on the wheel?
This gives me a terrible
feeling in my stomach.
I hate it.
Aw, man, he's
wicked married.
Okay, good.
Now you driving
and not the robot doing it.
Thank you.
Okay.
Do you have to
go right home?
Yeah, honey.
I don't want to go out.
No, just come over
for a little bit.
Fine.
Oh! You know, you still
could sleep with him.
Who?
Mr. mo' money
farouk back there.
You just have to promise
to tell me if you do.
You promise to tell
me if you do.
Pinky swear right now
before we go into the house.
I'm not gonna do it.
He's married.
Uh-huh.
Will you make me
a lemon drop?
Totally.
Hey, Sammy.
Hi, Jeff.
Hey, hon.
Hey, baby. Your I, uh,
deal keeps making noise.
Yeah, I know.
Can you look at it
like I asked you?
All my stuff is broken.
Oh, Jesus,
I'm so tired.
You know what, though?
Later, maybe.
So are you wasted right now?
Okay, eat shit.
Kidding.
You know, but eat you
some shit, though.
Right?
Baby!
Eh, women, huh?
Yeah.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
Seriously,
though,
she's often a psycho.
Right, Sam?
Yeah.
I mean...
I don't want to preach
to the choir.
No, totally.
I get it.
You're awesome, Sammy.
Yeah.
Hey, seriously,
for a second, though,
like, what would she
do without me?
You know?
Or you, for that matter.
I mean, I know I don't
have to tell you.
It's like you know...
You know her forever.
You guys go, like, way back.
Yeah.
We go way, way back.
You know this.
My dad and I got
in a fight, and, uh,
he kicked me
out of the house,
and I was so scared,
and she took me in,
and she got me a job.
Whoa.
Yeah, she was
19, she was already
taking care of people.
She was amazing.
She was full
of confidence.
She was so beautiful.
I mean, I never knew anybody
who had so much potential.
And then
she met you, Jeff.
Jesus, did she love you.
Yeah.
And here's sunny...
All right,
this woman who
loves so hard
and she tries so hard,
and she just ends up
pouring all of that love
into you for years.
Jeff, do you know
what that's like
to watch your friend,
someone you love,
someone who is
like a goddess
with the power
to fly to the moon
and shine a light
on the world,
and she ends up
using all of that power
just to keep
her fat, shit,
useless, boring
stoner husband
barely afloat?
It's just a shame, Jeff.
Well, here's the thing.
I know that you have...
Sucked your share
of dicks, huh?
I've heard about you.
That's okay, buddy.
Don't bother.
I don't care what you know.
Okay, well,
here's the thing.
I'm gonna have to say
that I cannot believe
that you just said
all of that to me.
Jesus, I'm offended.
Serious.
Don't worry about it.
You won't remember.
You know why I know that?
Because I said
all of this to you
five years ago,
and you don't remember
because you've smoked
10,000 joints since then,
so... good night, Jeff.
See you at the next thing.
All right, good night, Sammy.
Hello.
I'm home!
Mama, you're home.
I missed you.
Hi.
Oh!
Where were you?
Mommy had to work
today, remember?
Hey, come meet our guest!
Mel, this is Max,
and this little one
I'm holding is Duke.
She's very small.
Hiya, Duke.
Hi.
Sam?
Oh, this is
my sitter Lauren.
It's Mel.
Can I talk to you?
Yeah.
What's up?
It's just getting
really difficult the way
your girls talk to me
when you're not here,
and I just think that they
should learn some respect,
oh, okay.
And I don't know
anything about...
okay, I have
to cook good dinner,
and so thanks for coming.
I love you.
Bye.
Frankie, come here.
Mel, this is Frankie.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Wait, one more hi.
Hi.
Oh, then I got
to do this again
to make it even.
Hi.
Put on pants.
What?
Are you gonna marry him?
Hey, Duke?
Wait, so you're, like, an
actor in the movie mom's in?
No, I'm the director.
There's my mom.
You're about
to meet my mother.
Hi, mom.
Hello, sweetheart.
Mom, this is Mel.
Mel, this is
my mother Phyllis.
Oh. Hello.
Oh, hello, Mrs. fox.
It's very nice
to meet you.
Yes, well.
Mom, did you take
our phone book?
Because I noticed
all the neighbors
have their phone books.
No, no.
Why would I take
your phone book?
I took my phone book,
which was left
at your step.
No, that's mine.
I always ask for
two phone books,
and they only brought one,
so the one at your
step must be mine.
Mom!
I learned a piano
song, come listen.
Come with me to the kitchen.
Okay, off you go.
I know this one.
Um, did you
not tell your mother
that you were bringing
home a black man?
What? Oh, no.
Of course not.
That's not...
No.
I mean...
What? No!
You should've told her.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm telling you,
that's not a thing.
My mother is just insane.
She makes people feel weird.
It's like her hobby.
No, Sam.
She's over 70, okay?
You warn her that
a black man's coming over,
even if it's
to fix the cable box.
Oh, my god.
I'm telling you,
my mother is not like that.
She marched for integration.
It doesn't matter, okay?
I'm not calling
your mother racist.
I'm calling her over 70.
You tell an old white lady
ahead of time, okay?
You warn her.
It's the right thing to do
for the old lady
and the black guy coming over.
Okay. No.
I think you're wrong.
Mm-hmm.
I'm hearing you,
and I know you feel
certain of this,
but I think that this
is your thing.
That's not real.
It's not.
Oh, yeah, we don't
have a mezuzah.
What's up with that?
We're not that.
Yeah.
Max was going to dance class,
and she had this
awful stomach virus.
Frankie, don't tell that story.
It was like a dress rehearsal
for a dance concert.
Right.
And she was wearing
this white leotard.
Okay, stop it.
Stop.
No, let her tell it.
Come on.
What?!
Mm-mm.
So she misses
the, the dress rehearsal.
She's gonna be dropped
out of the concert.
Mm-hmm.
Mom!
But she has
this stomach virus...
Frankie, you can't
tell this story
'cause we're eating.
Oh, come on. Mom...
No! Shut up!
Frankie, you're stopping.
Fine. Fine.
Fine.
Thank you.
Okay, I'm done.
You're welcome.
I'm done.
And then, right in the middle
of doing a big split,
brown poop squirted
out of her butt
all over the perfect
white leotard!
Mom!
Sorry, Mel.
We like that kind
of humor at dinner.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's-it's fine.
What are you doing?
Are you, uh, still
studying dance?
I do this thing.
It's-it's a modern class.
It's based on this thing
called Alvin ailey.
I don't know if...
Sure, i-i-i studied there,
actually.
You did?
Yeah, in New York
when I was in high school.
That's great that
you're doing that.
Even if you don't
dance, which,
you know,
i gave it up when I was 19,
but you'll never regret it.
I mean,
it's still a part of me.
Yeah?
Thanks.
No, you're lucky,
because when I was your age and
i was aching to be an artist,
I had to explain
that to my parents.
My father was a janitor.
My mom's still a nurse.
But they didn't
know from art.
You're lucky because
your mother is an artist.
Well, she's not,
like, an artist.
Yes, she is.
She's, like, an artist.
Well, thank you, Mel.
That's very nice of you, Mel.
The last time
i was in London,
I went to harrods
to buy pantyhose, and so,
I go to the lingerie department,
and harrods had their
own brand of pantyhose,
and they're
the only ones I wear,
and you can only buy them
at that counter.
And their hose
Nude, white,
and nigger brown.
That was the name
of the color.
And that's the color
i always buy.
So I go to the counter,
and the young woman
who was working there
happened to be black.
And I said to her, "i would
like medium-size hose."
And she says,
"what color, please?"
And so I said,
"nigger brown."
And she was shocked.
I said it just like that.
I could see she was upset.
I said to her,
"i did you the honor
"of not noticing your color.
Would you do me the honor
of getting my item for me?"
So she went and got them,
and after that,
i paid for the hose.
Just so you know.
Oh, I need to use the loo.
You know, you have
a really nice family.
Thank you. They love you.
And I am sorry
about my mom.
No, no, no. don't be
sorry about your mom.
Never be sorry
about your mom.
No, Mel. I'm very sorry
about my shitty mother.
Okay, well, I don't know her.
No, you don't.
Um...
Yeah.
I...
You know, I have a friend
who is very invested
in wanting us to have sex.
Really?
She needs us to do it.
It's pretty bad.
Well...
But I'm not about to get into
a thing with a married guy.
That's just not,
that's not me.
Well, I mean, I'm going
through a divorce right now,
and I've been
going through a divorce,
and we've been
separated for months.
But I, uh, you know,
am going back
to New York tomorrow.
Yeah.
And as much as my brother
would want me to throw down
with Sammy fox, I mean...
Hey.
Hey. You know.
I don't know. I mean...
I mean, I like you.
But I don't want
to hook up with you.
I mean, actually,
i really like you.
Yeah, me, too.
I mean, there's...
No.
Yeah.
A feeling there.
Uh, it's...
It's a nice feeling.
Yeah.
But me, too.
I-I'm...
I don't want to...
I mean...
No, i...
Just like...
That's...
There's your ride.
That's my ride.
Yeah.
Come here.
Mm.
Oh, baby, in this world
you can't
count on nothing
one moment it's clear...
can I just tell you this was
the first peace I've felt
in a very long time?
Same.
Maybe the next one
bye, Sam.
See things always changing
see you, Mel.
Each day some new song
on the radio station
but baby, I always
will be standing
by your side
sure as the ocean
and a shoreline entwine
sure as the sun sets
in the hillside every night
I'll be by your side
lovely wife,
come with me
I'll be the same
oh baby, in this world
nothing stays
the same now
you learned
all the old rules
but it's a whole
different game.
So embarrassing!
Shut up!
I'm coming!