Better Call Saul (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Amarillo - full transcript

Sorry about the hiccup, folks.

Won't be long.

You got five minutes.

Howdy, folks!

Can someone tell me if
Mrs. Alma May Urbano is on board?

Alma May Urbano?

There you are!

Hello, dear.

Very good to meet you.

My name's Jimmy.

I tried to visit
you at Sandpiper,



but they wouldn't allow me to.

Hey, you know what?
It doesn't matter.

I saw your bus broken down.
Here you are! Lucky me!

Do you prefer to be called

Mrs. Urbano or Alma May
or just plain Alma?

My last name is McGill,
but you can call me Jimmy.

Hey, everyone.
My name's Jimmy McGill,

I'm an attorney at law. But...

Don't mind me.

Just talk amongst yourselves.

Now, Alma May, do you recall responding
to a mailer from my law firm,

Davis & Main of
Santa Fe, New Mexico?

I... I don't know.

We were looking to help
any Sandpiper residents



who may have been overcharged for
basic goods and services.

Now, does that ring a bell?

Oh! Maybe. Was it yellow?

It's canary yellow.
I picked that color myself!

Well, ma'am, I'm here to make sure you
get your money back.

What're you talking about?
Who took Alma May's money?

Uh, well, that's a
very good question.

And thank you for asking, Mister...

Amos. Amos Lydecker.

Mr. Lydecker, Jimmy McGill.

Now, nobody took
anybody's money, exactly.

Okay? It's not like the
Sandpiper people, you know,

put on a ski mask and mugged
Alma May here at gunpoint.

So, I want you to put that mental
image right out of your head.

See, what we're talking about here

is more of a...
It's just a discrepancy.

It's just a little thing.
It's fairly innocent.

But, we need to fix it.

You follow me?

Well, put it this way.

Alma May, let's say you're out
on a date with your boyfriend.

You do have a boyfriend, right?

Ah! You don't? Come on!

Alma May's holding out on me.

Do you have a nephew?

Nephew? Oh, yes. Steve.

Okay, Steve,
is he a good guy?

Yes, very good.

Okay. So let's say you and Steve
go out to dinner at,

well, Birdie's.

That's where you're
all headed today, right?

All right.

So, both of you
have a great meal.

Chicken fried steak and
green beans, and it's all perfect.

Here comes the check...

"Hey, wait a dog-gone, 24 bucks
for a side of buttermilk biscuits?"

- That doesn't sound right now, does it?
- No.

No, it does not. It sounds like
something got added up wrong.

Well naturally, you send your nephew,
Steve, to talk to the manager.

And naturally, the manager
corrects the mistake.

And what's more,
he gives you a coupon

for a free meal next time you come in.
How about that!

Well, that same kind of thing is what
happened at Sandpiper Crossing.

And nothing makes me sadder

than to see people
of the Greatest Generation,

people like my
own Nana and Bobo,

getting overcharged
by some great big company.

Even if it was an accident.

Now, I know that
the good people

at Sandpiper want
to make this right.

Sooner or later.

But you know what?
Well, sometimes,

it's just easier

if you get your nephew, Steve,
to go take care of it for you.

And that's how I
want you to think of me.

Georgiana. Hey there, Georgie Girl.
Thank you.

Oh! It's all there,
everything I need.

Thank you so much.
Enjoy your lunch.

Alma May. You did it.
Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you, Henry.

All right. Hey, Sue...

Okay.

Beautiful penmanship!
A lost art...

Schweikart and Cokely are
pursuing an aggressive strategy,

but looking at
the relevant case law,

I don't think it's going to play
with this magistrate judge.

I've read over a dozen of
her rulings, all of which

have sided with the plaintiff
on cases like this.

I've included a memo to that
effect in today's materials,

which you can
peruse at your leisure.

Thanks, Erin. How about we
move on to client outreach?

Jimmy?

You still with us?

Uh...

I'm going to save you
from having to brag.

Over 200 new Sandpiper clients
signed over thepast three weeks.

Well done, Jimmy.
Thank you.

Thanks, Cliff.

Uh, right now,
we're in the process

of mapping out
the entire Southwest,

targeting the largest
Sandpiper facilities first.

Phoenix, Colorado Springs,
Fort Worth, Provo.

That's just for starters.

Ideally, my goal, another 200
by the end of the month.

With this many folks, we have an
excellent shot at a solid batch

of plaintiffs for the classes
in each district.

Excellent. Look forward
to the next report.

On to a stickier wicket,
coordinating actions.

Um, sorry.
Before we move on.

I'd like to go back to client outreach,
just for a moment.

Looking over
these numbers, here.

Really astonishing results,
Jimmy. Incredible.

Your last trip to Amarillo,

you came back
with 22 new clients?

Twenty-four.
Twenty-four.

I'm confused.

Um, how many people
out there actually

responded to
our direct mailer?

One.

Hmm. Oh, right, yeah.

A Mars Alma May Urbano.

But you got 24 new clients
from this one response?

That is...

Wow!

Well, you're welcome. I mean,
what, is there a problem?

Well, might not some parties,
the opposing counsel for example,

see this differential
and conclude that

there may have been some
solicitation involved?

I did not solicit.

I'm just wondering how you
account for your success.

Because it will definitely raise eyebrows
over at Schweikart and Cokely.

I'm sorry, but it will.

Particularly in a case
involving seniors

for whom
the ethical guidelines

on solicitation were virtually
created by the ABA.

Chuck, I'm sure that...

Jimmy, if you could clear this up
that would be helpful.

I went to Amarillo to
confer with the client

and to make sure that we had
a solid good-faith basis

for our case there.
Overall.

As many of you are aware,

I've visited more than
my share of retirement homes.

These are close-knit communities.
Let me tell you,

word gets around real fast.

Dorothy in Phase 2 gets a new
Rascal Scooter, well, it's big news.

So these other 23 residents,
they approached you?

Cliff, they heard the scuttlebutt
before I crossed state lines.

And I certainly didn't have
to go knockin' on any doors.

And is it any surprise
that they wanna

speak with
the guy who was there

to show them they may have
money coming their way?

I gotta tell ya, with all that in mind,
I should've done better.

Makes sense. Howard?

Chuck?

We good to move on?

And, Chuck, not incidentally,

it is absolutely vital
that we dot our I's

and cross our T's here.

Invaluable. So, thank you.

The price of excellence
is eternal vigilance.

Indeed.

Coordination. I believe
that's where we left off.

That's right. Brian, this is your thing,
so why don't you take this?

Sure.

Considering the dimensions
of these cases,

taken together
and individually,

it makes sense to designate
someone to handle the scheduling.

What I'm proposing is that we
create a small team at D&M

dedicated specifically
to coordinating

all elements of the
individual actions.

We'll loop in HHM
when anything...

Brian. I'm sorry.
Excuse me for interrupting.

I just want to say that
I take Chuck's point.

I do.

I mean, this is like a
"wife of Caesar" type thing.

There can't even be a hint of
solicitation, so I'm gonna pull back.

No more meet-and-greets
at Sandpiper facilities.

I'll find another way
to proceed.

Well, Jimmy,
we'll leave that up to you.

You know, client outreach
is your department.

Uh, where was I?
Okay, right.

If we have a more
consolidated nerve center

here in New Mexico,
where the...

Hey, Kim, where can I get a copy
of that Neiderman deposition?

I've got an extra Neiderman, Jimmy.
You can have one of mine.

Oh, wow, thanks, Erin.

No worries.

Shoot.
Where did I put that?

Thanks that's...

Man, can you believe
Chuck in there?

I mean, Jesus.
Solicitation?

Let me tell you, when we were
building this case,

I was chasing down
eighty year old mall walkers.

That was solicitation!
But did he say "boo"?

Bullshit, he did!

What happened in Texas?

Nothing. I did my job.

You didn't do a song and dance
in the day room for the old timers?

No! No.

Not in the day room.

Jimmy, you know solicitation can
get you disbarred. This matters.

Well, here's what
I think matters,

twenty-four senior citizens
now have representation.

Before I went they didn't even know
they were getting ripped off.

Now they have us in their corner.
How is that not a win?

You said in there
you'd find another way.

Did you mean it?

Sure. Absolutely.

Look, I...

I need you to understand
something very critical here.

Shoot.

I put myself on
the line to get you this job.

Okay.

I thought it was because I'm
sensational with old people.

Yeah, and who do you
think told them that?

So what
you threw me a bone?

No. Asshole.

You know
I believe in you.

But then I made my
beliefs known to them.

Now everything you do reflects
back on me. With Howard.

Because ultimately,
I talked him into

going out on
a limb for you, too.

Do you understand?
It's, it's my word. It's my judgment.

Yeah.

You and I both know
you can do this job.

But please,
you just have to do it right.

Well...

You wanna make sure you put
in the batteries the right way.

Or it won't work.

Then you close him up.

And...

I think...

I think you're good to go,
young lady.

Why don't you give
his foot a squeeze?

He's funny!

Oh, darling...

I think I'll name you...

Mr. Snuggles.

Are you hungry?

I'm gonna get you
some mashed potatoes.

That should get you
through to next month.

Mike, thank you.

But you shouldn't
feel that you need to...

Too late.

Something up?

Feels like something's up.

No. It's...
I didn't get much sleep.

My head's...

I'm sorry.

You tell me it's none
of my business, I'll drop it.

I don't want you to worry.

Not the worrying kind.

Last two nights,
I heard gunshots.

First night, they were maybe a
block or two over. Woke me up.

My first thought
was firecrackers,

I mean, that's what I
assumed at the time.

But then last night...

There's no mistaking it. There was
three of them. They were quick.

Pop, pop, pop Closer.

It was like they were
right outside the house.

You call the cops?

Yeah.

Took 'em over
an hour to get here,

then they looked around
for a whole two minutes.

But by then, of course,
there was nothing to see.

I'm staying here tonight.

No, Mike.
No, that's not necessary.

It is not a problem.
I'll take the couch.

Mike, you asked,
so I answered.

Please, don't make me sorry
I told you.

Kaylee, come, hmm?

Get your supper.

What about Colorado Springs?

Um...

Two hundred and eighty three
residents, and...

We sent out 283 mailers.

Yeah, and how many
response cards came back?

Zero.

Zero?

Son of a bitch.

Dana, Toni.
Have a good one.

You too, Mr. Main.

Cliff, uh,
can I have a second?

What's up?

Uh, it's those
Sandpiper mailers.

We should be getting
responses of like 12 to 15%.

But we're
getting ones and twos.

In Colorado Springs, zero.

Wow!
How can that be?

I'm thinking it's the staff.

They're tossing the mailers before
they can reach the residents.

Maybe they got told to do it
by the Sandpiper front office.

Which would be
actionable as hell.

If we could prove it.

Big "if."

And to do so would take more
manpower than I can spare.

For now, let's just stick with
getting those client numbers up.

Guess you'd better
think of another way.

I think I got it.

TV commercial.
Highly targeted.

Let me tell you, at Sandpiper,
the trains run on time.

Mussolini would be proud.

Every one
I've visited so far,

same exact schedule.

10:00 a.m., water aerobics,

2:00 p.m., line dancing.
So on, and so forth.

They always leave 3:00 p.m.
to 4:00 p.m. free.

Why? Murder, She Wrote.

It's been in syndication
since, like, the 1850s.

And let me tell you,
when that thing comes on?

It draws the blue-hairs
like moths to a bug zapper.

3:14 p.m., end of
the first act cliff-hanger.

First commercial up, Davis & Main.
Guaranteed eyeballs.

Lots of 'em.

There's nothing
Sandpiper can do about that.

We ran a commercial a few years back,
another class action case.

Kind of a new thing for us.
It's not exactly my go-to,

but generally speaking,
I'm open to it.

We will talk next week.

Great! Safe travels.

Mesothelioma is
a rare lung disease

usually associated with
exposure to asbestos,

a known human carcinogen.

Long-term inhalation
of asbestos fibers

can cause serious or fatal illnesses

including malignant lung cancer,
mesothelioma and asbestosis.

I remember they worked real hard
to get that just right.

To get what just right?

Oh, the swirl.

They wanted it kind of nebulous,
but not too nebulous.

Then there was
the issue of the speed.

I remember there were a lot
of meetings about that.

I'll bet.

For your free consultation,
call Davis & Main at 505-242-7700.

That's 505-242-7700.

Cliff signed off on this?

The partners were very happy.

What do you think?

I think...

Whatever happened
to showmanship?

Yo. Check it out.

Ricola!

Ricola!

Hey!

Would you two ass-clowns
act like the professionals

your parents are
paying for you to become?

This happens to
be very valuable.

Yeah?
What is it?

This one is
the Alpine Shepherd Boy.

It's for her nephew.
So, come on.

Join me. Production meeting.
Bring it in. All right.

Now look, teamwork
makes the dream work.

Together, we can make something,
dare I say it, bravura.

And this is a golden opportunity,
especially for you guys,

'cause it's gonna play
all around the Southwest.

So, who knows what
it could lead to?

Better lead
to 100 bucks each.

What is it with you
and money?

Saving up for a VX2000.

Hey! Pop quiz. What do we three
have in common with the greats?

Welles, Fellini, Bergman.
The biggies.

What?

All three of them, to a man,
worked in the highly lucrative,

creatively rewarding field,
of advertising.

And tonight, we join them.

This is heady stuff, right?

Okay. So, pay attention.

We open on granny,
and she is rocking.

So she's back and forth...

Just very back and forth.

And then, very slowly and
smoothly, the camera, uh...

Moves towards...
Dolly?

A dolly. Good, yeah.

You see a dolly here?

You guys
didn't bring a dolly?

Nope. No dolly.

You didn't ask for a dolly.

Gotta ask, dude.
Dolly's extra.

It's true.

Okay. No dolly. Um.

We will improvise then.

Stay with me.

She's rocking,
she's shivering,

she's clutching at
a tattered shawl.

They turned the heat off on her,
these evil bastards.

She's cold and hungry,
she's friendless.

This is
heart-rending stuff, man.

Okay. It's a one-er. And it's shot
in glorious black and white.

We can do that, right?

Yeah.

So, that's it? Old lady in a chair?
That's your commercial?

Does anybody like you?

I'm ready for my close-up,
Mr. McGill!

It wasn't exactly set because
Perez wasn't back up in time.

Low ball. Strike one out right now.
Dale Carey at the plate.

3-2.
Bottom of the ninth inning.

And the pitch.
Perez is going...

And it's over left,
third baseman Nick Johnson.

Perez goes into third,
he slides, safe!

Perez gets all the way
around the bases.

Perez to third base.
Dale Carey still at first.

Looking to get to second.
But he'll stay at first. A great play.

Hey, honey,
what's happening?

What's wrong?

What happened?

Where's Kaylee?
She's at school.

She's fine,
she doesn't know about it.

Are you all right?

Let me show you.

It's up,
it's up there.

You see it?
It's right up there.

You see that?
You see the shape of it?

You do see it, right?

I see it.

What time did
you hear the shots?

2:13 this morning.
I looked at the clock.

It was three of them,
It was exactly like last time.

And you didn't call
the police? Or did you?

No. I...
What's the point?

Um...

I'm thinking
outside the box, but...

Do you think maybe it's possible
that you dreamed it?

It happens sometimes.

I didn't dream it, Mike, because
I didn't sleep a wink last night.

That came from a bullet.

I mean,
it must have, it wasn't there

before last night,
I promise you that.

And I,
I don't know what to...

Okay.

Okay.

Jesus.

I mean, I was here.
I was here and you weren't.

I believe you.

I believe you.

All right.

That's it. We're getting you
and Kaylee out of this house.

End of story.

You ever wonder
about these things?

What things?

This. Like,
what's the story with these?

Who was it who first said,
"Hey, I know, a big bowl of balls!"

I don't know.
They came with the place.

No shit.

They're in every corporate
apartment in the world.

They're like the
Gideon Bible.

Hey. Don't be jealous of my big
bowl of balls. It's unbecoming.

Why do they all have
to have empty vases?

Well, it's the law.
Plus, it's a metaphor.

I gotta say, I will miss the
nail salon's vibrating chairs.

For you, I can make any chair
in this place vibrate.

You ready for this?

Okay, here it goes.

You're 86 years old,
you're a resident

of Sandpiper,
Colorado Springs.

You just finished your
afternoon snack, lime Jell-O.

Lime. Got it.

You're in the day room, you're
watching your favorite TV program.

And what's this? There's been
another murder in Cabot Cove?

No!
Yes!

The sheriff is
in over his head.

And once again, Jessica Fletcher
has to put aside the novel

she's been writing,
and assist law enforcement.

Shocker! The killer
left behind a cryptogram.

And commercial.

My husband and I scrimped
and saved for so many years.

We did our best to
build a nest egg,

so that we wouldn't be
a burden to our family.

After Ronald passed, I moved
to an assisted living facility.

A nice place.

They told me they'd take
care of everything. But...

Then one day, they said
all my money was gone.

How could that be?
Where did it all go?

That's not a real tear is it?

It's Visine.

If you or a loved one is a resident

of a Sandpiper Crossing facility

or other associated retirement
community, you may be eligible

to receive compensation.
For a free consultation,

call the law offices of
Davis & Main at 505-242-7700.

That's 505-242-7700.

Well?

You made that?

With some film students?

I directed.

It looks professional.

And?

And if I were an 86-year-old
Sandpiper resident,

I'd be dialing.

Yes! Up top.

And all made in accordance
with the rules and regulations

of the American
Bar Association.

Good.

I can't believe
Davis & Main went for it.

Well, I'm in charge
of the department.

Yeah,
but still you know...

Cliff Main was fine with this.

Why wouldn't he be?

No, it's...
No, It's fantastic!

Let's celebrate. I'm getting more wine.
You want some?

Absolutely.

Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Yeah, I'd like the number
for KKTV Channel 11.

Omar!
What's the cut-off for FedEx?

I need to get a package out
tout de suite.

Oh.

Uh, yes, can you connect me
to your ad sales department?

Thanks.

Gums look good.
No recession.

Tongue looks good, too.

Eyes are clear.

This little
lady's in fine fettle.

I could have one of the girls
trim her nails, if you like.

No. Some other time.

What do you got for me?

Bodyguard job. 200 bucks.

What else?

For you,
that's the best fit I've got.

I know a loan shark, always needs
enforcement and recovery.

Pays good
and it's steady work.

Most of the time, we're just
talking intimidation.

Strictly verbal.

"Most of the time."

I'm not breaking legs.
What else?

Look, we discussed this.

You want next-level pay,
you gotta do next-level work.

I respect where you're
coming from on this thing,

I do.
But that's just how it goes.

All right.

She's gonna need a DHPP shot.

In six months. We'll send
you a reminder card.

Until then.

Give me the bodyguard job.

For 200?

I'll call you with
the where and the when.

So everybody knows to...

They know.

Every line starting with 7700 has
been re-routed to the bullpen.

Plus your office.

All the assistants
know to keep them open.

So if you're on a call
and another call comes in,

the call doesn't go to
an answering machine, right?

Because, very important, old people
don't like talking to robots.

If I'm on a call and
another call comes in,

they'll roll over to Maida.

After that, Iris will get
the next one, and then Julian,

and then Barbara and Yvon.

Yeah.
Right on down the line.

Good.

Let's make that the plan,
then.

Oh, so...

What time do you have?

Uh, quarter after.
It should be running now, right?

Is there anything else?

No, thanks.

It's...
I'll just be in my office.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, Colorado Springs...

Come on.

Good afternoon, Davis & Main.
Attorneys at law.

How may we help you?

Yes, ma'am. Yes,
ma'am, that is unfortunate.

Now, to get your case started,

may I ask for a name
and a number

for one of our
attorneys to reach you?

Good afternoon, Davis & Main,
attorneys at law.

How may we help you?

Good afternoon, Davis & Main,
attorneys at law.

Yes, sir. That is correct.

Good afternoon, Davis & Main.

One of our attorneys...

Good afternoon,
Davis & Main...

...one of our
attorneys get back to you.

Give me one second,

I'm just going to take down...
Yes. That is correct...

And you're
currently a resident

at the Colorado
Springs facility?

Good afternoon,
Davis & Main...

Yes, ma'am.

We'll be happy to send an information
packet right out to you.

May I ask,
are you currently a resident

of the Sandpiper
Crossing facility?

Bingo.

I'll just need a name
and a phone number.

Yeah?

Something came in this evening
and it's definitely next level pay.

Yeah?

It's probably a long shot
given your selectivity.

What's the job?

I asked,
the guy wouldn't tell me.

But whatever it is,
it's serious money.

And the guy,

he specifically asked for you.

And who's the guy?

I can't hold it, sir.

No control on the planes, Captain.
We're going down and fast.

"We're going down and fast."

Check this out,
this is a good part.

So do they all die?

Tell me that much.
Shh, shh, shh, shh!

Does Rock Hudson run
'em into an iceberg?

Is this before or after
he did McMillan & Wife?

Shut up. Watch the movie.

What is this weird
fascination you have

with stories of men trapped
on the North Pole?

Ice Station Zebra
is on the North Pole.

The Thing takes
place on the South Pole.

They literally could not
be any more different.

My Dad loves this one.

Yeah, him and Howard Hughes.

I know, right?

Can't get two finer
reviews than that.

How much pressure left
in the air banks?

Down to 800 pounds, sir.

Secure after group blow.

Mmm-mmm.

It's the boss.

At this hour?

Yeah.

Well, it's never too
late for congratulations.

Cliff! Jesus,
you're still at the office?

You ran a commercial?

Yeah. And, oh, my God, let me tell you,
the response has been...

You ran a commercial without
ever showing it to me?

Without first consulting
me and my partners?

Did you actually think
that was going to fly?

I was planning on
telling you in the morning.

The day after it aired!

I only ran it once.
Just in one small market.

It was kind of an experiment,
all right

kind of under the radar.

And in all fairness,

you did tell me client outreach
was my department.

Don't be disingenuous.

This commercial, I take it my firm's
name is mentioned?

Yes. Yeah.

Jesus.

Howard said you were
a little eccentric.

He didn't tell me you were
a goddamn arsonist!

Cliff, to be fair,
I don't think...

Uh...

I apologize if there was any misreading
of the situation on my part.

But there's a very
positive headline here.

We got 103 phone calls today.

Off a measly $700 ad buy!

Now, that kind of return on
investment, you can't...

Tomorrow morning. 8:00.
My office, with the partners.

And we want
to see this thing.

Cliff, when you see this,
I know you'll...

Yeah, Cliff.

Thank you. Yeah, you too.

Okay. See ya.

Golden Boy.

That's me.

So, what'd I miss?
Anything blow up yet?

Feeling cautious?

You going to tell me
what we're doing here?

I've got a problem.

Okay.
This problem,

I can't solve it myself.

This problem,
is it a who or a what?

There's a guy.

I need him to go away.