Benson (1979–1986): Season 1, Episode 11 - Ghost Story - full transcript

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(DOG BARKING)

Yeah, well, look,
Supervisor Adams,

the power's been off
three nights in a row.

I don't care if it was
on in the rest of the city,

it wasn't on here.

No, I don't want to
talk to your supervisor.

I've talked to three
different supervisors already.

I just want them to send a
guy out here with a wrench.

No, don't put me on hold,
please for God's sake,

no, no, no. Hello? Hello?



Benson, would you know...

(SHUSHING) Oh, hello,
who am I talking to now?

Supervisor Kingsley.

Yes, well, perhaps
you can help me.

There's no power in
the governor's mansion.

That's not funny, turkey.

How'd you like to
try to run the state?

You can't even get the power
to stay on! And what about...

I'd... I'd appreciate
it. Thank you.

Excuse me.

Am I in your way?

No, that's all right.

The Governor's misplaced his
dedication speech for Delaney Park.

Any idea where it might be?



Well, it's not
where it should be.

Look who I'm asking,

a man who wears pajamas to work.

Well, I overslept.

My alarm didn't go off because
the power went out again last night.

Ja, but some of us
get up with the sun.

After all, the early
bird gets the worm.

Well, if the early bird saw you,

he'd lose his appetite.

Where is it?

I don't know. I can't find it.

Are you looking for it, too?

Yeah, do you have any
idea where it might be?

Search me. No, thanks.

The Governor said
he left it in his room.

My teapot?

No, the Governor's speech.

The Governor's
speech is missing, too?

Good morning. Morning.

Miss Kraus, what's that?

Don't give her any hints.

See if she can
get it by herself.

Thank you, Katie.

Aren't you just a little curious

where Katie might
have found that?

Oh, I'm sure there's
some logical explanation.

I found it on the floor
just outside my door.

There, you see?

You didn't happen to find a
speech with the teapot, did you?

No, sorry.

It will turn up.

This is it.

The Governor's speech
is in the cupboard.

Great filing system. You
work it out by yourself?

Well, I'll see you later.
I've got to get to school.

What's your hurry? You're
over two hours late already.

I know, but if I don't
hustle, I'll miss recess.

I'd sure like to know

what this speech was
doing in the cupboard.

I'd sure like to know when
they're gonna get the power fixed.

Please, can't you just
leave well enough alone?

Are you talking to me?

Um, Benson, I have
some vacation time coming.

I need to get away for a while.

I'd love to see you get away
forever, but you'll have to wait.

We've got too much work to do.

Where were you planning to go?

I don't know. Anywhere but here.

Miss Kraus, is there
something wrong?

No, nothing.

Are you sure?

Come on, Miss Kraus, what is it?

My lips are sealed.

Promises, promises.

It's nothing, nothing at all.

Benson. Hmm?

Don't you think there's
something very strange here?

Not anymore, it just left.

KRAUS: (SHOUTING) I hear you.

Late again.

Why can't they get a crew
out here to fix the power?

They don't have a
crew. Just supervisors.

This state's got more
freeloaders than a freight train.

I think it has something
to do with those crows

that perch outside on the wires.

Crows? Yeah.

You know, the way they grip
the lines with their little feet.

Well, I have never been able to
understand how they keep from tipping over.

I've watched them for hours.

Must be fun.

Haven't you ever
wondered about that?

Never.

I'm sorry, Governor, I looked
through that cupboard twice.

I can't find the last page
of the speech anywhere.

Well, all I know is, I
left it on my night table.

So how on earth did it
get into the cupboard?

Oh, you probably went down to the
kitchen last night for some warm milk.

That's right, I probably did,

but wouldn't I remember that?

Not necessarily.

Well, there were just a
few lines on that last page.

Maybe we could just
think of what they were.

Well, I think it's just
the usual sort of thing.

"And, so my friends,

"in conclusion
this memorial park

"is to honor
Governor Delaney..."

"And all his wonderful
achievements."

Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.

I've heard that speech before.

I think I can remember
the rest, Governor.

Governor, here
is today's agenda.

Forget the first
two appointments,

you've already
slept through them.

Benson, this power
problem is still with us.

Can't you do something about it?

You're still with us

and I can't do anything
about you either.

I would like to have it fixed.

I'd like to have you fixed.

Voila. Oh, thank you, Marcy.

Oh, that's funny, I don't
remember saying that.

May I see that?

Oh, Governor,

how many times have I asked you

not to end a speech with a poem?

You already have that boring story
about your wisdom teeth in there.

A poem?

"Once upon a midnight dreary

"While I pondered weak and weary

"Over many a quaint and
curious volume of forgotten lore"

That's Edgar Allan
Poe's, The Raven.

The Raven. You see,
it's those crows again.

I didn't write that.

Of course not. Poe did.

No, I mean, that
isn't what I typed.

How could that happen?

Carelessness.

I know what I typed and
it certainly wasn't this.

Sure, it just typed itself.

Oh, I don't think
that's possible.

But there is something
very bizarre here.

Miss Kraus.

Oh, you can't get much
more bizarre than that.

No, Benson, the teapot,
the speech in the cupboard.

The power going
off and now this.

Now, there's got
to be a connection

and I'll bet you Miss
Kraus knows what it is.

Oh, come on, Marcy,
it's all a coincidence.

No, I've heard of people
having experiences like this.

Yeah, but fortunately most of
them are under a doctor's care.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

You wish to see me?

Yes, come in, Miss Kraus.

Please, sit down. Make
yourself comfortable.

Thank you.

Come on, Miss
Kraus. Let's have it.

Have what?

You know. I do not.

Oh, come on.

I can tell when somebody's
hiding something.

I wasn't born yesterday.

You could have fooled me.

What am I accused of?

We're not accusing you
of anything, Miss Kraus.

It's just that Marcy
here seemed to feel

that there was
something that you said...

Well, actually, something
that you didn't say

about a certain matter that you
said you didn't know anything about

that would explain to me how...

What is it we're asking her?

Miss Kraus, it's about all these things
that have been going on in the house.

I know nothing!

Miss Kraus, we don't have
all day to spend with this.

Whatever it is you can't say,
say it and let's get on with it.

You will think
that I am a lunatic.

In that case, you've
got nothing to lose.

Come on, Miss
Kraus, now what is it?

A ghost.

A ghost?

A ghost?

A ghost?

Get out of here.

You doubt the existence of
things you cannot explain?

Not since I met you.

Is this ghost a personal friend
or just a casual acquaintance?

May I go now?

You're already gone.

And that goes
for the rest of us,

standing here
listening to this stuff.

Now, Miss Kraus, what do
you know about this ghost?

Well, since the time
of Governor Hartwick,

the story has been passed down

by the people who
have worked here.

It was over 100 years ago

that Governor
Hartwick was murdered.

Right here in this very house.

(EXCLAIMING)

Taylor, act your age.

He is.

Well, you're saying
that Governor Hartwick's

ghost is what's
causing all this?

Oh, it's him all right.

This has happened before.

It would seem his
ghost is destined

to walk these halls forever.

Oh, I think I'd rather
leave when my term is up.

The voters might like that, too.

How was Governor
Hartwick murdered?

Rumor has it he was
poisoned by an ambitious aide.

Well, that makes sense to me.

A hundred-year-old ghost
is rattling around here

trying to get revenge
by hiding the teapot.

Und the speech
und the electricity.

And don't forget the poem.

Und who knows what will be next?

Well, I suppose we could
put an end to all this conjecture

by just calling in an expert
and having him check it out.

Governor, you call
in an expert on ghosts

and the public
finds out about this,

you might as well leave
in the taxi that brings them.

Then I guess we'll
just have to live with it.

Why not? It doesn't
take up much room.

In the past his pranks have
stopped after a couple of days.

Usually.

Well, if this were to be true,

why has Hartwick stayed
here for over 100 years?

Well, maybe he promised to stick
around until he balanced the budget.

(EXCLAIMING)

Come on, Taylor,
that ain't funny.

Losing your sense of humor?

Losing your will to live?

Benson, you promised to
read me a bedtime story.

So I did.

What have you got here?

The Evil and the Awful.

"The green hand oozed
out of the purple slime."

They're right. This
is evil and awful.

What ever happened
to Cinderella?

That's kid stuff.

I want to be scared.

Oh, boy, maybe it's a ghost.

Do you think we'll see him?

I don't think so, Katie.

Oh, there you are, Katie.

Oh, I was worried about you.

Were you frightened?

You poor thing,
you're trembling.

I'm not the one who's trembling.

Maybe... Maybe
you better sit down.

Stop that!

I meant, that I wish

whatever was causing those
lights to go out would stop it.

There, you see?

Now what do you think?

He is really upset this time.

KATIE: Oh, boy!

Oh, come on, everybody.
They'll come back on in a minute.

(DOOR CREAKING OPEN)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Haven't you ever
heard of knocking?

I was afraid something
would knock back.

The only thing knocking
around here is people's knees.

(THUNDER CRASHING)

Come on, come
on, come on, relax.

There's a perfectly
logical explanation

for everything that's
going on in this mansion.

Oh, ja?

Und how do you explain that?

I'm thinking.

Feel better?

I'm fine, Benson,
I'm... I'm just fine.

Just fine? Well, what
was that in there?

Oh, that was just stark terror.

Well, Katie's all tucked in.

She wanted me to leave some
milk and cookies for the ghost,

but I told her there was
no such thing as a ghost.

That must have disappointed her.

Yes, but it made me feel better.

TAYLOR: It's only me. Taylor.

I'm about to come into the room.

I am in the room now,
so don't anybody panic.

And this, my friends, is a nail.

A bent nail, to be precise.

You see, the vibrations
from the thunder

caused the picture to
separate from the bent nail.

Oh, that explains it.

No, it doesn't.

Too bad.

I went to the hall of
records this morning

und learned a
very interesting fact.

After Hartwick was murdered,

his wife married
Governor Delaney.

So?

So, I'm not so sure the
aide poisoned Hartwick.

Well, who did?

Governor Hartwick's
ghost just told us.

I guess I wasn't listening.

Don't ask him to repeat it.

Of all the pictures in the room,

the one that fell was
Governor Delaney's.

Fiendishly clever, Inspector!

I dare say you had us
all completely baffled,

but once again your piercing eye

and your razor-sharp mind,

not to mention that
disarming smile,

have uncovered the truth!

Bravo, Inspector!

Now, can we all go beddy-bye?

So, do you think that Delaney killed
Hartwick for his office and his wife?

He killed for the office.

The wife came
with the furniture.

No, he must have killed for
the wife. Nobody'd kill for this job.

But what I don't understand is

why Hartwick's
taking it out on us.

Governor!

Just for the sake of argument.

There is a way to find out.

What's that?

Ask him.

Ask who, the ghost?

I'm telling you, there is a way

to communicate with the dead.

You mean a seance.

Exactly.

Absolutely not.

Hear me out!

I'd rather throw you out.

Look, nothing's happened.

A picture fell from
the wall, that's all.

What have we got
to lose by trying it?

I admit, it seems a
little silly to me, too,

but if you all are willing,
I'll go along with it.

What do you say, Benson?

Well, let me put it this way.

Are you all out of your
cotton-picking minds?

Do you know what you're saying?

You're asking me if I
want to talk to a ghost.

How do you talk to a ghost?

I will explain
it. Listen to this.

Oh, come on,
Benson, let's try it.

Oh, for crying out loud, Marcy!

Aren't you coming, Taylor?

Of course not. And you should
all be ashamed of yourselves.

Oh, all right.

Now we will all join hands,

right hand over left hand.

With each other.

Sorry.

In order for this to work,

we must maintain
complete silence.

Do not be surprised
if I go into a trance.

How will we know if you do?

My head will drop forward,

my tongue will hang out,

my eyes will roll wildly,

und I'll speak in
a strange voice.

Right, and how will we know
when you go into a trance?

If you are all
through, I will begin.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Can you hear me?

Yes.

Not you, Governor.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

Shall we try again?

I am speaking to the
spirit of Governor Hartwick.

Are you upset?

We know he's upset.

I thought you
didn't believe in this.

I don't.

But if we're going to ask
questions, ask him something

we don't know the answers to.

Ask him what
Xerox is going to do.

He will not answer unless
we take this seriously.

(THUNDER CRASHING)

Someone go and shut the window.

Benson, shut the window.

Taylor, shut your face.

All right, all right, leave it.

(SHUSHING)

I feel he is very close.

Spirit of Governor Hartwick,

were you poisoned
by Governor Delaney?

That's kind of
ambiguous, Miss Kraus.

Let me take a crack at it.

What we want to know
here, Governor Hart...

May I call you Roger?

Silence.

I feel he is trying
to get through.

He is trying to get through.

(PHONE RINGS)

He got through.

Benson, don't answer
the phone. Why not?

Because we don't want
anybody to know what we're doing.

It's a telephone, Taylor.

People talk through it,
they don't see through it.

Good evening.
Governor's mansion.

No, Taylor can't come to the
phone right now, he's busy.

He's holding hands
with the Governor.

Give me that.

Hello? Oh, hi.

Uh, listen, can I call you back?

We're, uh, we're waiting
for a long-distance call.

Not me, I'm not
waiting for anything.

For all I care, you
all can spend the rest

of the evening down
here with the bat lady.

That does it.

Your total lack of cooperation
has offended the ghost

und it has offended
me. I am leaving.

I don't blame you. Why don't
you both go haunt another house?

I think I'm going to go, too.

Taylor, would you
give me a ride home?

Why? Your car is here.

Under the circumstances,

I'd like a little companionship.

Well, you'd be better
off buying a goldfish.

Well, I'm really disappointed.

This doesn't prove anything.

Did you think it would?

I don't know exactly
what I expected.

I gather you don't
believe in ghosts.

You gather right, sir.

Well, as it turned out,

the whole thing was
a total waste of time.

All we did was get
Miss Kraus upset.

Well, in that case, it
wasn't a total waste of time.

Okay, that's it.

Now, look,

it's not as if I
think you're here,

but if you are here,

how you doing?

I'll tell you what you do.

You come on over
here and have a seat

and you and I will
have a conversation.

Sort of man to...
Well, a conversation.

Now if you're trying to scare
me, you are wasting your time

because I've been
scared by some of the best.

I'm talking about a car

full of guys with white
sheets and it ain't Halloween.

You hear what I'm saying?

Now let us say that it is true,

that you're the ghost
of Governor Hartwick,

and let's say
that it is also true

that Governor Delaney
did a number on you

to get your wife and your job.

Now, I can understand
you being ticked off,

but scaring these people
is not gonna solve that.

What is it with you, anyway?

Are you sore because the Governor
named the park after Delaney?

Well, why don't you just say so?

You know how to type.

Benson? What?

Who are you talking to? Myself.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to interrupt.

Oh, no, no, Governor,
wait. Can we talk?

Yeah.

Uh, don't sit there.

Look, Governor, about what's
been going on around here.

Would there be any harm in not
naming the park after Delaney?

Well, we'd have to change
the sign. Besides that.

No, I don't see any harm in it.

What are you thinking, Benson?

Well, what I'm thinking is,

why take the chance
of naming the park

after a guy who
could have been a rat?

So, what would I call the park?

Well, in honor of all the
governors and their contributions,

why not call it Governors' Park?

The Governors' Park.

Well, that has
a nice ring to it.

I think I will.
Thank you, Benson.

Good night. Good
night, Governor.

Okay?

I mean, that's the
best we can do.

Now why don't you talk
this over with your people?

And if that's cool,

then you can go about your
business and we can go about ours.

Rest in peace,
Governor Hartwick.

I know I'd sure like to.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Come in.

Oh, good morning, Benson.

Good morning, Governor.
Did you have a good night?

Well, I don't really know.
I slept through most of it.

That's the third
night in a row for me.

Good.

Well, I got the final report
on that electrical problem.

Oh, what did they find?

The main lead to the
circuit breaker was bad

and they couldn't tell before
because the insulation looked okay.

Well, well, well. I guess
we all overreacted a bit.

I guess.

An electrical problem

and I was letting myself get
rattled by the idea of a ghost.

Well, we're only human.
We all have our fears.

Oh, well, that's true.

Would you believe I'm still a little
afraid of me being the governor?

I think we all are.

Well, now that we know
what the problem is,

I guess we can name that
park anything we want to.

Then again, maybe not.

NARRATOR: Benson is videotaped

before a studio audience.