Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 7, Episode 2 - Episode #7.2 - full transcript

This season, for me,
it’s a new place,

a new boat, with
new department heads.


Oh, my gosh, hello,
how are you?

As a chief stew, I’m definitely
a lead by example kind of girl.

That sounds super cringe.

-I’m Tasha.
-Natalya, nice to meet you.

Is this, like, my sister,
is this my twin, like...

We’re like twins, almost, yeah.

-Hi, I’m Raygan!
-Welcome aboard.

These are your deck crew.

We gotta turn this boat around.

Malia’s shoes will
be hard to fill.

-Home, sweet, home.

Oh what the *bleep*!

I just did a month
charter with Natasha.


Dave, did you
choose your cabin?

You wanna share with...

I don’t care who I share with.

I’ve just been
through a break-up,

and I don’t
like being single.

Go in the forward cabin,
then, if you want.

We’re roomies?

I’m a service queen
from the get-go.

I don’t think
there’s any need for a rank.

I feel that I do
deserve my rank.

We can be joint second.


-Hi, everyone.


Billy and Chris will
be celebrating

their anniversary
during their stay.

There’s one suitcase left.

I can’t carry that,
it’s too heavy.

I’m getting
irritated with Raygan.

I feel like
I’m pulling more weight.

Oh, my ----ing God.

There’s nothing in the water.

-Who’s the bosun?

I am really sorry.

We left the dock
without two crew members,

so the deck team is
really struggling.

So then, like, make up for it.

I’ll take care of it.

-It’s so good to meet you.
-Storm, welcome.

Hello, Captain Sandy!

Myself and Storm,
we’ve been childhood friends.

That same moustache he has
today he’s had since he was 13.

-Storm, nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you, yeah.

Storm is super fit.


Tender, WaveRunners,
in the water.



I’m gonna fall.

All crew, all crew,
we have some

malfunctioning of
our stabilizers... hang on.

Hold everything, hold... oh!

The boat’s rocking.

Are we crashing?

What’s happening?

----ing hell!

Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.

Where’s the stabilizers?

We just lost our stabilizers.


All crew, all crew, hang on.

No! Hold everything!
Hold everything!

-All crew, all crew, hang on.


Where are the lifejackets?

No, no, no!

Oh sh--.

Gosh, we’re really tipping.

Stabilizers are fins
that stop the boat

from moving from side-to-side.

Losing stabilizers
is very dangerous.

The crew could get hurt,
a guest could fall over

and bop their head,
anything could happen.

Oh, God.

You all right?

Oh my ----ing word.

Can we use our stabilizers?

Well, we’re in a real pickle,
aren’t we?



Get up here quickly,
we need you ASAP.

Bring a vacuum cleaner
with a hard head.

There’s glass all over the
sky lounge upstairs,

bottles have all fallen
off the bar and smashed.

Okay, I’m gonna
run upstairs, then?

-Go ahead.

Oh, my God.

Wow, this is crazy,
that was bonkers.

This is a ----ing mess.

-These are the generators.

So, we lost that one.

But that’s not automatic,
you had to manually connect it?


-I mean, I...
-So, we had a glitch...


I heard glass smashing
everywhere, bro.

Brü, it was chaotic up there.

Should we drop that NautiBuoy?

Yeah, yeah, that’s cool.

-There she is.
-I’m going on vacation.


I’m waiting for someone
to tell me what happened.

-This boat is a hybrid.

One cooling system
for everything.

When the cooling system
starts to heat up,

it systematically
starts shutting units down,

which shuts down our

And thankfully, no one got hurt.

Again, I’m really sorry.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

You all right, Tash?

This is a joke.

Raygan, toys, WaveRunners,
in the water.

-There you go.

Okay, thank you.

It’s like ----ed up.

I’ve been on a boat
that fell on its side,

so I’ve got, like,
quite bad PTSD,

so this is really
screwing with me right now.

In 2019 I was on
a 90-meter yacht,

and the boat
tipped on its side.

I just remember crying, thinking
this is it, I’m gonna die.

I called to start taking
names of the crew lists,

and people weren’t answering.

There were electrical smells,
fuel spilling everywhere.

I couldn’t even get
out of the door; I tried.

We were really
lucky that nobody died.

I’m a person in general to put
on a brave face, you carry on.

You have no other choice,
otherwise, you’re gonna fail.

This is ----ing crazy.

This is ridiculous.


I haven’t eaten,
and I’m just, like...

Yeah, I’ve not...
I’m not even fazed.


I just want to heave some water.

There’s just so much to do,
like, it’s just too...


...much to kinda think
about eating.

I heard you guys had a
bit of a tumble earlier,

-I heard it from the tender.

Sounded like Armageddon
earlier on.

Did you hurt yourself?

I’m all right,
it’ll be all right.

-I’m sorry about that.
-That’s all right.

-It’s terrible.
-It is what it is.

Are you okay?

Oh, God, just got a few cuts
and stuff,

just from cleaning glass up,
but we’re all good.

-I’m sorry.

Never experienced that before,
that was gnarly.

I had a boiling pan of water
that went into the fryer,

and I had to try and catch it.

I was prepping for dinner,

but now all my food’s
all over the place.

I have so much to do.

This is a nightmare.

I’ll just work as quick as
I can and do what I can.

One of us wash, one of us dry,
one of us put away.

Let’s get the big stuff in

Well, we need to put our
banisters in, quickly.

-I’m in.

Okay, guys, listen, we’ve
gotta put toys in the water.

Do you want me to
go housekeeping

you can serve or just...

Can you kinda jump
into cabins for now?

Yeah, yeah, no worries.

I’m just living sex fantasies
with a Walmart reality.


It’s going.

It’s okay, I wanna listen.

I wanna know
what’s going on in...



I was with my ex in a very
long-term relationship for,

like, four and a half years.

So, now I’m single.

I can flirt with
people if I want to.

There’s not too much difference,

if I’m honest, of me flirting
or just being myself.

It’s actually just me.

I am just that warm,
bubbly, bright person.

We can make you one.

Should we just do a left
toward starboard?


I need infused cucumber vodka.

Thank you so much.

Sorry, I’m getting to
the cabins straightaway.

Oh, no, no, I don’t think
anyone’s worried about it,

-thank you so much.
-Thank you.

I have never been
passionate with anything to do

like, I’ve never been,

like, I wanna be a doctor,
I wanna be a vet.

People are passionate about
saving lives and being doctors.

I don’t know how people
don’t enjoy cleaning.

It’s very relaxing.

I’m very passionate
about cleaning.

Sweaty sweaty.

There you go.

Okay, let’s make this a
strong one, actually...

very strong.

Yeah, yeah, you’re going away,
you’re going away.

Oh, no.

Don’t go anywhere.

Chuck it, chuck it.


I wanna see how this is.




Yeah, we’re just ready to
be in the water now.

Someone rescue him!

Really, really
----ing frustrating.

This is so embarrassing.

-Help him!
-Oh, no.

Storm, don’t go!

Someone rescue him!

Jason, can you jump in there
and get him, please?


-Oh, what was that?

It seems like a malfunction
and a delay in our enjoyment.

A Raygan situation

She’s winning all of the awards.

Okay, pull in, let’s go.

Thanks, buddy.

There’s gotta be a more
convenient way to do that.

What’s that?

Usually, what we would have done
is before putting that out,

put this in the middle
of those two

and then push them
off in one go.


Got out of bed at
like, 5:00, 5:00-ish.

Did you?

You’re, like,
the quietest roomie.


Come on!

I’ve got some gifts for you.

-I wish it was a...

-Is it just one?
-...nicer gift.

-Is it many?
-It’s several.



Are you guys done talking sh--

while the rest of us
work our asses off?

We’re actually flirting
without you, sorry.

Okay, are you flirting?

Yeah, why did you have
to gate-crash?

Why the hell?

You could have come
in quite nicely,

it would have joined
you into the trifecta.


-Can I be in the middle?


I’m one-handed.

Grab it!

You guys gotta organize
your lockers and stuff.


Because when we get our
slide and our pool,

we have to have
a place to put it.

I’ll have to go look, but I...

Okay, I’m gonna come
look with you.

Thought there was more.


You go.

Oh, my God,
you got tons of stuff.

I wanna be a floating resort.

-Gonna put that one up?

Let’s get these toys
blown up really fast.

Natalya, Natalya, Tasha.

The master will be finished
in one minute.

My management style,
I’m very trusting.

I will try and go back where
I can and check things,

but luckily, I’ve got
such a great team

that I trust them 110 percent.

Sorry, I have to wash it.

How’s it going so far?

Yeah, I think once we get
familiar with everything,

that things will be
a lot better.

Mm-hmm, I haven’t been able
to organize something.

Like, on who wants
what hours and what hours.

Like, Storm,
he was supposed to rest.


And you’re supposed to be
resting right now, but...

No, it’s...
that’s fine.

I don’t know what Raygan’s style
of management is, actually.

Guys, if you’re ever
setting up the swim platform,

this is what I like.

All right, let’s throw
this bad boy.

David, Malia,
let’s get the jet-skis off

the sled right away.


It just doesn’t seem
like there’s much direction

or structure.
But at the same time,

I don’t wanna question
and, like,

step on her toes,
because she’s the bosun.

I’m gonna go and
write down a schedule

and stuff like that and
arrange things now.

-I’ll be back in a bit.
-All right.


Chef, are we doing plated
tonight, or family-style?

-Well, the sushi will be...
-Oh, we’re doing sushi.

Okay, never mind.



...know who’s capable
of doing what.

Okay, so, where’s your schedule?

-For people’s...

like, what...
I need that, they need that.

I’m not able to plan
my obviously schedule

because I don’t know
who’s capable of what.


So, where are you guys
off to after this?


Oh, it’s so tough.

I’m so sorry you
have to do this.


I thought, you know what, let
me go to Venice after this.

I’m still searching
for love in

between all of
this nonsense, yeah.


How long ago was this
when you guys met?

-Seven years ago.
-Seven years, okay, got you.

I really wanna wait for that.

I’ve only had
a 12-year relationship.

He left me for a woman.

We started in high school,
he asked me out in high school.

Wait, we need to unpack this.

-How long ago was this?

-Oh, Leslie.
-This is crazy!

It was two years ago,
because I came out last year.


-Girl, can we get some...

Thank you, thank you.


It’s my first time
getting guests which

are part of the LGBTQIA+
community, such as myself,

and having also the chance
to celebrate the anniversary,

something that’s also so dear
to me,

is finding true love,
like it was meant to be.

I’m honestly
so happy for you two.

Very jealous, but happy.

Jason, hook the jet-ski up

and then come to the bridge
deck as quick as possible.

You’re gonna help
me place it, easy-peasy.


He’s impressive.

Sandy, Sandy, Raygan.

Can you please
meet up in the crew mess?

Ah, this is so nice.

It’s beautiful.


That’s great.

That’s awesome.

Thank you.

I’ll be back now for that one.

Yep, yeah.


You fancy bringing
this up with me?

Okay, let’s go, babe.

It’s so quiet now.

Maybe on the arm of the sofa.

There’s loads of happy
anniversary stuff as well.


This is what we
are talking about.

-Oh, my God.

Can I please use
this after the set-up?

Pink penis.

It’s gonna be a good
party-starter, trust me.

-Big, pink penis.
-You know what I’m gonna do?

I’m gonna walk out like
this for service tonight.


Come on.

I’m only joking...
this is what I’m gonna do.

Hold there.


Your mum’s gonna be proud, guys.

Should I just ask the guests
if they want some drinks?

I just think that the gays
are gonna appreciate it,

and I want these guests
to leave with a memory.

-Let’s go.
-I need to watch.

A long, veiny, girthy,

pink, vibrating memory.

Did you guys want
something else to drink?

-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God!

Do you need something to drink?

You guys are good.

Everyone around...

Can you point to Malta, please?

Where’s due north?

That was amazing.

Or that big.


What time do I go on?

How do I read this?


Okay, and then...


Raygan’s schedule kinda
just looks like a math problem

that just doesn’t
have a solution.

Is that 1:00 am to 2:00 a.m.?

Oh, that’s tomorrow.

I was in commodity trading
for 11 years,

so I’ve done a lot of equations
and formulas and spreadsheets,

and I don’t think there’s
an algorithm

that would be able to solve this
puzzle that she’s constructed.

Coming up...

-Okay, here.
-Okay, put this on.

-Good night, all.
-Good night.

-Welcome home.
-Oh, my God!

One, two, three, jump!


I’m not doing that,
are you crazy?

So messed up!

Ah, the guests are calling.

Actually, do you wanna
get this one first?

Tell them I’m on my way
with the espresso martinis.

Raygan, Raygan, are we able
to have just one deck crew?

Okay, you can go now.

Thank you.

Thank you so much
for all your help.

-Espresso martini.
-Thank you so much.

You’re welcome.


So, if you wanna start setting
up those lanterns...

Yeah, mm-hmm.

That’s gonna go behind you.

What is the party?

It’s their anniversary.

We’re making it super romantic,
and they want a Japanese night.

Can you jump in,
get the lever out, yeah?

Why am I jumping in?

Jump on the dock, not in.

-On the dock.


Because you’re wearing
this, and...

No, no, no, but what’s the...

before we do it, can we
talk through the process?

Because you need to
bring the anchors in.

Because today...
there’s anchors?

Yeah, these bags.

So, are they just,
like, hooked on?

-Yeah, hold on.
-No, no, no, I’ll do it.

I’m definitely missing some
of the aspects of

skipping my own boat, being
the captain and being in charge.

It’s frustrating, because
I’m a very strong type A.

I just want somebody to manage.

I would love to, I’m used to it,

but with my position being

the low man on
the totem pole, I can’t.

So literally, you just pull it,
and then stick it down.

-That’s it?


Are you going?


The sushi is so time-consuming.

So, what’s the plan tonight?

I honestly don’t know.

That’s fine, you are amazing.

Today is the day I was meant
to be making up for yesterday.

He’s just asking do we have any
other beef without cinnamon in.

It’s a little more rare.

It’s just Billy.

He’s just asking if
we can go a tiny bit

more on the medium side.


Tonight’s the night.

Tonight’s the party night.

Chris, so, how many brothers
and sisters do you have?

We have 12, but me and Billy
are the only ones

that share the same mother
and father, unfortunately.


Okay, let’s pull it up.

Should we go and eat
and get changed?


Natalya, Kyle, Tasha,
do you wanna start

rotating out for dinner and
getting into your blacks?


Can I take some ginger
for the condiment tray?

That one, there.

Are we gonna put bets on this?


If it’s not here, you owe
me a bottle of tequila.


What do you want it if is here?

Nah, I can’t say it.

Oh, my God!

Is this what I think it is?

I told you it was there.

Go on, then,
you can have one slap.

Not in the nose!

Wait, I...

Damn, that was quite a slap.

Kyle, can you just
fill this with ice?


We have to just bring
heaps of ice from the laz.

I’m gonna bring bags, actually.

Look how exciting.

I’m so excited for
them to see it.

That actually looks really good.

So, where were you before this?

Have you, like, taken a vacay?


Also, I’ve just
been back at home.

-Where’s home?
-Cape Town.

Where are you from?


Are we close to each other?


I don’t know geography.

I’m just gonna put these
bottles on the table, aren’t I?

Straight up.

Are you gonna wear your ascot?

I’m gonna... no, I’m not.

You’re not?

Can I come with you guys

when you take the guests
to the tables?


Because I wanna
see their reaction.

-Of course, it’s your table.
-Oh, my God.

Hey, the decorations
are absolutely beautiful.

-Thanks, Cap.

Thanks, guys, for all your help.

-Okay, are we ready?
-We’re ready.

Yeah, there we go,
that’s much better.

-Like this?

This prom king and
queen right here.

Go on with your bad self.

* Happy anniversary to you *

* Happy anniversary to you *

Oh, this is beautiful!

Oh, this looks amazing.

This is beautiful.

So, what are we sending out?

Tuna nigiri, salmon,
Japanese tuna tartare.

Then we got salmon maki rolls
and a vegetarian maki roll.

There’s a lot of pressure
on with dinner tonight.

Yeah, we’ll take some stuff now.

So, gonna be hard on myself, and
fingers crossed, they like it.


So nice.

I liked the steak
last night, but...

The steak was good.

The whole meal
wasn’t consistent.

Thank you.

Can we start eating?

No stress.

Get out of here with
how delicious this is.

It’s so good.

It’s so incredible.

It’s so amazing.

-So incredible.


So lovely.

I’ve got a soup.



Holy ----ing sh--.

It’s so good.

All right, I’ve gotta
do this cake.


Were you a bosun
on your last boat?

Oh, yeah?

And literally everything,
all the equipment,

like, just came on,
and was in interior,

we helped the interior a lot.


I’m feeling a bit disappointed
with not being able

to get everything in place,

and nothing’s
how it should be.

Once we have a system, I mean,
you as an officer know...


Like, systems are put
in place for a reason, so...

I don’t panic
about things either.

Like, I was a chief stew, I was
a housekeeper, I was a deckhand.

I’ve been a chief officer,

second officer,
and I’ve been a captain.

Everyone can have different
experience in different areas.

So, obviously, I know for
a fact I am capable of my job,

and I know what I’m doing.

It’s just I’m only one person,

and I can’t be
everywhere at the same time.

All right,
time to clock off for...

Let’s go.

An hour or two.

Your colors are pink and pink.

-That’s great.
-Do you know that?

You don’t get that quote?


-It’s from "Steel Magnolias."

You really never?

Okay, so, we have to
run through

the catalogue of gay movies
that you have to watch.

You’ve seen "To Wong Foo, Thanks
for Everything, Julie Newmar?"


We are watching
that tonight.

Oh, "But I’m a Cheerleader,"
have you seen that?

-So good.

Oh, yeah, have you
seen "Mommie Dearest?"


I would take your gay card
if you had one, but you don’t.

-Imagine that, yeah.
-That’s terrible.

We’re gonna usher you
into the community.

Tash, Tash, Dave.
Can we run dessert?

Okay, copy.

----ing well done, sir.

That looks a delight.
It’s my birthday soon, eh?

Is it?
Let me know, man.

-I’ll make you a cake.

You gonna present that?

Do you want me to present it?

-I think you should.
-All right.




Coming up...

So, again, thank you
all for everything.

Deck crew, it took a little
time to get the toys out.

Just, it didn’t feel connected.




That would have been

Well, happy anniversary.

-Thank you so much.

All right.


I’m looking for
a big, pink penis.

-It’s really good.
-It’s delicious.


Where is the pink penis?
We know you took it.

-Excuse me?
-We know you took it.

I have no idea what
you’re talking about.

He’s more of a red rocket.

But if you did don’t ----ing
talk to me like that again...

I’m gonna go and make a display
on the owner’s bed now.

These guests seem like
so much fun,

so the typical
turn-down chocolate

is not gonna work for them.

We need to step this up a notch.

Feathers, eye masks,
edible underwear.

Going from being solo stew to,

having to work with a team, I’m,
like, super excited about it.

Love being around people,
and like good vibes.

I don’t even know
what that means.

This is our lives.

Storm, to the bridge.

Can we change now?


-Okay, here.
-Here, put this on.

-Are you gonna do PJs?

-PJ party!

Welcome home.

-Oh, my God.
-No, look.

Your every seduction
will be tantalized.

What is happening right now?

That’s the worst accent
I’ve ever done in my life.


Have a great anniversary,
all right, guys.

Thank you guys so much.

It’ll be tricky tomorrow
going into the marina.

How are you at
calling distances?

We gotta go through two
very narrow dolphins.

Yeah, I’ve seen.

Yeah, so it’s like driving in.

This marina, basically
it’s a wind tunnel,

and on top of that,
there’s a current.

Plus, you have dolphins placed
really close together,

which makes it more
difficult to dock.

So, I need two people
calling distances.

I’m choosing to put Raygan
on the bow because

I can actually see the down the
side of the boat to the stern,

but I can’t see to the bow.

I liked how Storm
took charge on deck,

and I wanna see how he does
calling distances on the stern.

There’s no room for error.

-I’m gonna go to bed.
-All right.


This is cute!

Look at you, queen.


Next project.

The reason I love
working on boats is

because you’re
always around people.

At home, my home
is the party house.

I’m the last one to bed,

just because I love
to keep people up all night

with my cocktail making.

On boats I’m also the one
who loves to be on nights

because I just love
to see the guests party.

A raspberry vodka
mixed with curaçao.

I love this.

Even though I
might not be drinking, like,

I’m still having fun.

Oh, it’s delicious.


That’s exactly
what I was gonna say.

Ah... oh!

I’ve never had
a relationship longer than,

like, a couple months.

I’m super picky.

Like, I would never live
with a guy unless

he can have his own
separate bedroom where he can,

like, you know, mess up
his own bathroom and stuff,

and like, that can
get cleaned once a week.

I bring a lot to the table,
so if they don’t wanna meet me

halfway with anything, like,
I’m pretty happy being alone.

How is it, big guy?

Are you on com?

I’ve written a list down here.

Come get me
if you need me, yeah?

Yeah, sure.

-Good night, all.
-Good night.

-Good night.
-Good night.

I’m going to bed now.

Did they like your gift?

Which one?

Oh, yeah.

-Oh, my God.
-No, look.

What is happening
right now?

Kyle was sitting on the chair
in the master,

and I was, like, posing next
to him with a feather,

just tickling him,
while he wore the mask.

And I would turn, I was like,
"Oh, my God, I’m so sorry."

Natalya’s really gorgeous.

She’s got a lot of energy.

Aussies are my kryptonite.

I actually had an
Australian girl’s name

tattooed here on my leg,

but now there’s a big
panther face on it, so.

You’ve really gotta be
on their game in terms

of banter to even get
anywhere near them.

I ----ing love it, it’s so good.

Sleep well.

All right, I’ll see you
in the morning.

See you in the morning.



-Good morning.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

Deck crew, deck crew,
meet me on the aft deck.


Can I get some water?

For this first docking,

I’m gonna be on the
leeward side of the wind.

-You just gotta...

the dolphins.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, basically, I’ll be
able to see the one.

Going into this docking,
I’m concerned

with the wind direction and
the current direction.

It makes it difficult
to maneuver,

and unlike the other
marina last season,

we had tenders that
would pull the dolphins apart

so I could fit through.

We don’t have that here.

-So, you two are on the bow.
-Me and Jason.

He’s on the aft deck, yeah.

After all, I don’t hit things.

We’re gonna get underway now.

I’m gonna start ’em up, and
we’re gonna haul the anchor.

-Good to go?


Okay, start
hauling the anchor.


One shackle at the water.

-Anchor is at home.
-Thank you.

All crew, all crew,
we will be getting underway.


-How did you sleep?
-Morning, love.


Deck crew, deck crew,
are you guys ready?

All fenders are ready.

All fenders and lines are ready.

First docking with
this crew, new marina,

and it’s critical that
everyone do their job.

Raygan, Raygan,
you’re just gonna

use your hands on the bow.

I’m gonna swing it to starboard.

All clear.

Raygan, is it all clear
to swing the bow?

Yeah, it’s all clear.

Storm, Storm,
what’s the distance

off my port with the dolphins?

Port stern, you’re
about 20 meters.

Okay, get your lines ready.

Twenty meters
off your port beam.

Ten meters and closing.

-Pretty tight squeeze.

One meter and holding.

They need a valet
that’ll bring these boats in.

Hold it there.

The port line is...

Okay, pull it in.

Well done, everyone,
thank you very much.

----ing thank God.

We are secure in our berth at
the Grand Harbor Marina, over.

Did you get
everything out of the bathroom?

All crew, all crew,
get into your whites.

What time do the fumigators come
in and spray the deck down?

All crew, all crew, meet on
the dock for guest departure.

I have such a wedgie right now.

Are we going?

-Thank you, sir.

-Thank you guys so much.

It was a pleasure.

We’re both running to hug you.


If I have to.

-Give us a hug?
-Yes, thank you.

You’re incredible.

Oh, thank you so much.

-You’re incredible.
-Appreciate it.

-Thank you.
-Sandy, you’re the best.

No, you are.

So, again, thank you
all for everything.

Interior, you’re incredible.

Like, we travel
around the world,

and the best service
we’ve ever had.


And then deck crew,
it didn’t feel connected.

It took a little time to
get the toys out, you know?

Anyway, this is for you...
thank you.

-Thank you.
-Thank you very much.

-Thank you guys so much.
-And bon voyage.

-Bon voyage!
-Bon voyage!

Bye, guys, thank you.


All right, everyone, out of
your whites and into your reds,

and let’s meet in the main salon
for our tip meeting.

Dah, dah, dah!

Ooh, I can’t wait to put
something cold in my mouth.

-Good start.


I just wanna say

Down two deck crew,
boat malfunctioning,

the fact that we were able
to pull it off is incredible.

Interior, you guys really
carried us through the charter

and I just want
to acknowledge that...

thank you.

And you’re an awesome chef,

and I feel really grateful
to have you on board.

Excited to be here.


The food for us, you killed it.

So, okay.

You guys, on deck, we definitely
have some training to do there.

The client made that known.

We were down two, it wasn’t
really fair to the deck crew,

but I feel like
we should have pulled it up

another notch, okay?

Next charter,
I want it organized.

Okay, so, $27,000.

Holy sh--!

Which is $2,454 per person.


Well done, everybody.

Well done, cheers!

Thank you.

That’s all you’re
drinking, guys.

-Work, work, work.

You smell like updog, brü.


You smell like updog.

-I smell?
-Like updog.

What’s updog?

I got it.

Don’t do it, go do
your other stuff.

You have tons of stuff to
do, don’t touch it.

Don’t even look at it.

I think we’re all done,
aren’t we?

-Almost, just that side.

You all right?

Well done, you.

I fell into your arms...
good catch.

Just like us,
catching our drinks

and cake and whatever else.

Kyle, are you going glam?

Yeah, hon.

Sexy, but cute
but like broody?

Like take me home
and shag me filthy.

Okay, cool, I’m glad we’re
on the same page.

It’s a woman’s blouse,
so everything’s backwards.

I’m obsessed with that blouse.

I feel like I haven’t
got dressed up for years.

The crazy side of me
would come from my mom.

When I was about 16...

So, yeah, it’ll be
interesting to see what mischief

will be going on.

But tonight, we’re drinking
from the...

Dah, dah, dah


Guys, I’m so excited
to get wasted.

Can I say this is
the best-looking crew

I’ve ever worked
with in my life?

Never have I ever banged two
crewmembers on the same boat.



-Did you... what?
-You are.

No, we’re not.

Why is everyone looking at me?

You completely are.

No, we’re not,
bro, we’re not dating.

You’re not dating?

But you’re in love.

You’re in love,
but you’re just not dating.


no, like, five weeks.

So, we just did a month
together on a charter.


Coming up...

I want to be a couple,
but we’re not a couple.

Oh, my God,
that place looks great.

Here you go, lovely.

Thank you.

How are you?

Eight tequila shots
to start, please.

Yes, please.

Okay, guys, what about food?

The risotto, yeah.


The Thai beef salad.

Thank you.

Since you’ve joined the boat...

Since you’ve joined the boat,

I’ve actually been really upset,
and I’ve...

I didn’t finish my sentence.

Sorry, I got distracted.

She always steals my thunder.

I get lost in her
----ing Goddamn eyes.

I’ve got a thing for
Australians, man.

You do?

*bleep* me.

Storm’s got this rugged, pirate,
homeless, hot look to him.

I’m into it.

But Storm’s moustache
needs to go.

No, no, no.


I don’t think I have I top lip.

I’m an Australian
absolute lover.

Do you wanna go down...
no, I’m kidding.

-You wanna get down under?
-Let’s go!


-Thank you.
-You’re a legend.

-Cheers, guys.

A salute to the new family.

First trip of the season.

Let’s see who rips each
other’s eyes out at the end.

Everyone’s just got such a
different vibe going on, like...

Do you know what, I didn’t
realize you had long hair

until you got in the water.

-After, he’s like, ugh!
-Well, it’s annoying.

You’re, like, Catwoman,
Veronica, is, like,

hot, like, mm...

Then what’s your vibe?

Someone tell me what my vibe is.

-Oh, that’s a good one.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, 100 percent.

This is ----ing delicious.

Mine’s really good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, that’s really good.

-Yeah, we need to go for a wee.
-Come on.

I heard.

If we were a couple,
then we would be a couple.

Okay, so, Storm
is the most experienced.

How do you know? Oh.

No, but you’re
in a cabin together

and you work together,
and we think you are.

No, you’re wrong.

I want to be a couple,
but we’re not a couple, so...

Oh, my God.

But hang on...
but one sec.


Nah, nah, it’s all good, bro.

*bleep* it.

On our last boat, me and
Tash, we had, like, this...

and we have had this connection,

and that’s when
we got together.

Tash asked me to keep it
a secret,

because she was
still with her boyfriend.

But she said they’re basically,

like, broken up,
they’re not getting on.

There’s a lot of stuff
going on there.

So, now I’m struggling
with keeping it a secret.

Like, it’s really,
really difficult.

You stay right there.

I’m gonna do this.

This might take days...
it might take weeks.


Oh, my God, hi.

We’re back.

What is he doing?

I’ve made it clear that
I don’t want anyone to know.


It’s only a matter of time

before he tells everybody that
we hooked up.