Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 7, Episode 15 - Brace for Impact - full transcript

Previously, on
"Below Deck Mediterranean"...

Why did you buy me a present?

What?

That's too much.

I see Storm as a friend
that I would love.

Maybe not a boyfriend.

That's just not the kind of vibe

that I kind of wanna
be around at the time.

If I don't see them being, like,
the father of my children,

then, like, I just don't see
the point in dating them.

Have a good day.



I think
the new deckie's arriving.

I graduated from the
University of Alabama in 2019...

roll tide.

You know how important
it is to pull fast?

- Yes, sir... ma'am.
- That's fine.

I'm just really good at
shoving my foot in my mouth.

Co-primary, Eric and Jonathan,
will be accompanied

by Jonathan's fitness
clients, also models.

Charter guests are
looking forward

to having a BDSM-themed evening.

- Are they uncomfortable?
- Not at all.

Okay, you ready?

Like, wow, what
the **** going on?

Can you guys do, like,
a sea bass baked in salt?



One of us needs to go
to the beach.

I'll go to the beach.

Gotcha.

Natalya, take everyone to
the beach while we relax

on the yacht with
no guests and no duties.

Cool pics.

I wanna go on a yacht
and drink.

I'll pose in the nude
for someone,

if that's what it takes.

Time limitations.

I know you always want
your cabin cleaned.

Do not say, "Sorry the head
of housekeeping

wasn't here to do your cabin."

No one blamed you.

No, because you just
said the head of housekeeping

was not here, Kyle.

If you think you're gonna
come for me like you come

for everyone else, you're
highly ****ing mistaken.

I'll put you right
in your place.

You're 24 ****ing years old...
act mature.

I'll switch that bitch off
in two ****ing seconds.

BELOW DECK MEDITERRANEAN*
Season 07 Episode 15

Episode Title: "Episode # 7.15"
Aired on: October 10, 2022.

She's having another scene again
where she's trying to attack me,

but trust me,
that's not gonna happen.

She's saying you and I need
to manage our time properly,

we're the most ridiculous
chief stews.

So I said, you know what...

Oh, wait, wait, wait...

don't talk about a
crew member in front of me...

- No.
- Behind their back.

So not okay.
You're a team.

Where'd the love go?

It's just a brother and sister's
tiff, they'll be fine.

What are you doing right now?

Yeah, that's it.

I did.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

Tomorrow morning
when we wake up...

Mm-hmm.

Wow, look at you!

Thank you, thank you.

Oh, my God!

- Yes!
- I love these clothes.

All right, now,
gimp, get in there.

- Nice.
- Where is everyone?

Where's Brett?

I don't know, we have a
bunch of casualties.

- Amanda's not feeling well.
- But is Brett not coming?

John's not feeling well.

Oh, no.

****

Oh ****ing hell, mate,

looks like there's a ****ing
creature in there.

Want a hand?

Whenever I'm cooking,
I'm always learning,

so I make mistakes too.

I've got this massive,
like, salt-baked fish

that was too big to
get it in there,

and it's gonna be
a nightmare for me

to hacksaw it out of the oven.

You have a little look
at the wine list.

So, let's do the
Louis Jadot Montrachet.

You definitely need
to decant that one.

Yeah.

Then we'll also have a tinto.

Oh, you got it, mate.

Sick!

Good job.

We only have four guests,
just so you know.

- Four for dinner?
- Yeah.

That's a big fish
for four people.

Kyle.

How are you tonight?

I'm fantastic.
How are you?

This is my voice.

Thanks for
the sparkling water.

You get dressed up like this
to perhaps go to a club,

a private event, perhaps.

But I have no idea why
you're willing

to put yourself through
the full-course meal.

You got in that suit
with no food.

I have no idea how
you're getting out of it

with a stomach full,
you know what I'm saying?

Kyle, do you wanna grab bread?

- Sure, hon.
- Thanks, hon.

Why?

Did you not see it?

No.

I'll tell you about it after.

Pretty cold.

I wanna see this.

Yeah, me too, we're all excited.

It's a rock.

So, do you light it
and then smash it?

Light it, carry it over,
wait for it to go out,

and then smash it.

- And then pray that it's cooked.
- It's cooked.

Ah, Namaste, Namaste.

Hey, so we have the parmesan
with the pine nut salad.

Healthy and tasty and light.

Look at this party, I love it.

It's not gimmicky,
it's very classy.

Mm-hmm.

Ooh, is that burrata?

Here he comes.

Oh, that looks so cool!

- Look at that!
- Oh, wow.

What's on fire, did you
put liquor on that?

We put some vodka on there.

And what does the salt
do for the process?

So, basically,
it creates an oven.

Oh...
wow, very cool.

I'm so glad I'm wearing
a tight, black outfit.

So, we can literally
just pull it away.

Oh.

That looks amazing.

That's impressive, David.

It's gotta be so good.

Thank you.

Thanks, Dave,
this looks fantastic.

- Wow.
- It's really good.

Mm-hmm.

So cool.

I mean, all I need's vodka
and the torch?

Yeah.

I don't know, everything's
so good,

it's, like, perfectly seasoned.

The spiky choke collar
is making it

a little more difficult to eat.

You girls look lovely, yum.

Are you coming back?

Uh, maybe.

Okay.

Well, I've gotta run up,

so you can tell me about
it later, if you will.

All right.

So many bowls.

Mm, it's a major meal.

All right,
I'll have a little more pesto.

I think actually
that was my favorite.

I liked the milky...
what's it-ciana.

Yeah, that was pretty
impressive, actually.

I am full, I think.

You're throwing in the towel?

What's up?

I'd hug you, but you're
covered in oil.

No, I'm fine now.

Thank you.

It's just murdering you?

I called you a bitch behind
your back, number two.

- Who'd you to, Tash?
- To David.

I knew Nat and I were gonna get
into a situation eventually.

I just vomit everything out;
She does, too.

But even with that said,
I screwed up.

That's not the person
I need to be.

Thank you for coming down.

I look like fat Batman...
Fat man!

- Fat man and Robin.
- Fat man.

Good night.

I'm going to get out
of my outfit.

I wanna tell you something
real quick.

I went down to Nat now,
just to inform you.

I apologized for
the miscommunication

that we had here,
and I wasn't even thinking.

I can't ****ing think
with this.

No, but the thing is, like,

if you're in housekeeping
on a trip,

I'd be like, oh, Kyle,
who's housekeeping, la, la, la.

That's what it tried to say,
and it went downhill.

Yeah, I won't worry
about that, really.

No, but everything's
been sorted and hugged it out

- and everything.
- Okay, good.

I'm like, Kyle, what
are you apologizing for?

Natalya's getting more
and more difficult.

She doesn't respect us.

The boat's gotta be clean
in the morning

or breakfast has got to
be fully pulled...

it's gotta be one or the other.

They really needed help
with lifting that stuff down.

I'm making the drinks
for the guests.

Bullsh** Kyle's setting
the table right now.

That doesn't need to be done.

Don't speak to me like that.

I haven't spoken to you
in any way, Tash.

No, don't disrespect me.

I don't stand for that.

The apology should not be
coming from Kyle.

Kyle, you're very sweet,
but there's certain things

you do not need
to apologize for.

I just don't want you
to get walked all over,

and I won't stand for getting
walked all over, either.

Oops...

baby steps, baby steps.

Sweetest dreams.

Good night.

All guests down.

Interesting tactic
for a break-up...

jump into bed again, so...

Yeah.

I was really annoyed,
but obviously, I just smiled

and waved and act
like everything

was rosy on the service.

But really, I'm **** off.

We all know Natasha
hates confrontation.

When we had trouble between us,

she would never
approach me about anything.

Coming up...

Come in just straight to me.

**** kill it, kill it...
reverse, reverse...

- ****.
- Whoa.

I've got nothing else more to
explain to you than what I did.

If you're looking for attention,
you're not gonna get it from me.

- Kyle pipe down.
- Bullsh**

****

It's rosemary.

- Morning.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Something that I thought of.

- What?
- You distracted me.

- I attracted you?
- Distracted.

Mm... whatever you
wanna call it.

Same thing?

I think Courts
is finding her feet

really well as lead deckhand.

I think Courtney deserves it.

All of the disappointment,
I think, is going away from me.

It's very early.

I've grown up
with four siblings.

I'm used to not always
getting what you want.

- Did you do ballet?
- Yeah.

Storm, what's your location?

I'm in the pantry, Cap,

I can meet you in the bridge
if you'd like.

Good morning.

I'm gonna need to work out
later, can we do that?

Let's do it.

We can do something
just, like...

We can go to the sundeck or
the...

or underneath, right?

The sundeck, the very top one,
yeah.

Okay.

We can start to put
breakfast on the table now.

That'd be great.

You can put
the paddle boards out

and then set up
the swim platform.

Yes, ma'am.

Wack on, Johnny, wack on.

So heavy.

Oh! Oops.

- 942.
- Mm.

The guests are gonna
sit down now for breakfast.

- Sorry about that.
- No, don't be.

They're gonna work out,

which will give us time
to put all the toys in.

- Yeah.
- Thanks, Cap.

Can you stand up?
I wanna appreciate this outfit.

Sure.

You always dress so nice, I
always love the way you dress.

She is hot.

Okay, turn the other way,
I think... yeah.

These women are supposed to
be the primary's clients,

but in actual fact,
the client

might be the primary
charter guest.

So, you need to learn to make
googly eyes at the camera.

Something is fishy.

It's not the ocean that I'm on.

Oh, my God, your hair
looks so luscious.

What'd you do to it?

You should try that again.
I think that would help.

Gross.

Natalya, Natalya, all cabins
are available for your services.

- How are you?
- Well.

- I'm nearly ready to serve.
- Okay.

Bacon on them two.

I've got John and Brett.

I'll take Eric.

I should actually
capture your hair,

because it does
look really cool.

Kinda weird that it
looks so cool.

Okay, this is cool.

We need to get the skis out.

Thank you so much.

You got more hollandaise
sauce than me.

This is what happens when
you pay for the trip.

So, what's the plan?

So, aerobics class.

I think we'll finish
with water sports.

And then I'll take some
pictures up there.

Yeah.

I wanna go sit up
on the sundeck.

You can't just jump in,
you gotta do something.

Dive in.

Bomb-drop in.

That was sh**!

Can Kyle help me just for
two minutes in the double?

Copy, babe, I'm on my way.

How long you guys gonna
work out?

Probably 45 minutes.

Perfect, perfect, man,
thank you so much, enjoy.

- Okay, thanks, buddy.
- Is it bad?

Let me just remove my shoes.

Oh, yes... okay, stay lying
down, stay lying down.

We're gonna start out
with some lying down.

Can you do some glutes?

Why is it so hot?

Because I'm, like,
boiling in here.

And it smells like noodles.

Squeeze your glutes,
tighten those abs, good.

So, all the cabins are
done now, after this one.

Okay, now, let's just
go to your hip thrusts,

and just relax your head.

Look like you're
enjoying life.

High-camera quality photos.

Three, excellent, you guys.

Finish strong.

Is tonight the African theme?

It is, yeah.

Day two.

Safari-themed dinner,
where they can

bring out their inner animal.

- I got some cod.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna do that
milk tart.

Oh, for dessert?

Last dinner I tried
to blow them away.

Half of them ****ing missed it.

I just have to be ****ing
amazing again.

Courtney, where does this go?

Just down there.

You'll notice most
things on this boat

don't really have a home.

Kinda ironic, given the name.

It's a funny joke!

I don't know.

- Sure.
- Peckers.

When I join a new boat,

I've always struggled
with banter, quick wit.

How do you twerk, Mzi?

Let's see...
oh, my God.

I'm out.

Guys!

I think this crew got
really close before I got

Look, she can do it
like a mother... er.

It's intimidating,

but I definitely appreciate
and love

the kind of personality
that they have.

- Can you see a storm coming?
- It's a bit windy.

Fill out, you guys are awesome.

Woo!

- Oh, wow.
- Go, team!

- That was awesome, yay!
- Nicely done.

Ooh, these are really nice.

- Aren't they?
- I like a big bottom.

No!

- Hey.
- Hi, what do we have here?

- What are these little minis?
- Seabobs.

Shush!

And obviously the jet-skis,
paddle boards.

The idea is to turn them over
and get their swimsuits off.

That's the whole point.

Okay.

For the jet-ski, I will need
you to wear a life jacket.

Okay.

But you're pretty
good at this?

- Yeah.
- Whoa.

Go, Hannah!

Ah!

Hannah, look over
here, woo-hoo!

- Ah!
- Don't kill anybody!

sh**

Courts? Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Way to go, Diana!

- Don't start it until I...
- Okay.

...say, just because
there's a line behind you.

Yeah.

- Anybody else want the jet-ski?
- I do.

Yeah?

Okay, wait, yeah.
Just come in, so yeah.

And then just kill it,
kill it, kill it.

- ****.
- You all right?

Okay, are you coming on?

Come in just straight to me.

Wait a second...

Stop, stop, stop,
reverse, reverse...

oh ****.

Whoa.

**** me, like, this is my
first time as lead deckhand.

Storm feels like he can
trust me enough

to leave me kind of in charge,

and I have ****ing
guests smacking

against the side of the boat.

- Oh **** me.
- Oh, no.

Just wait there two seconds.

Just be careful.

How's the side of the boat?

Thank ****.

I'm off, so just keep
eyes on them.

I'm just gonna go
and swap my radio,

just because it's died.

- You got it, you got it.
- I'll be back in two secs.

**** man.

They just ****ing drove into the
side of the boat on a jet-ski.

- What?
- Are you serious?

Yeah...
it's okay, the jet-ski's fine.

They're back out on it now,
so you can't see.

- Everyone's okay?
- Yeah.

There wasn't actual damage.

- Wow.
- I know.

All right, that's okay,
it was a mistake.

- Go down for an hour.
- Yeah.

- Way to go, girls.
- Nice job.

- How you guys going?
- What time is it?

Nap time.
Could be nap time.

It's nap time.

It is, eh?

Cap, I wanted to ask you how
to do an incident report

with one of the guests
on the WaveRunner.

What happened?

One of the guests
pushed on the stern,

but she just came around.

Like, you know, when she was
trying to come to the NautiBuoy,

she just missed it.

- They were all fine.
- Oh.

There's no damage to
the boat that I can...

I know that...
oh, you don't... no, it's not?

Okay.

That's called "chartering."

All right, I just wanted
to make sure.

- It's called normal.
- Copy that.

We're gonna make mistakes.

In this case, no one's hurt,
nothing's damaged,

it's not a big deal.

But at the same time, that's how
communication should happen.

That's how you gain trust.

I'm just happy
that nothing happened.

Yeah.

Yeah I thought tonight, like
green and the color green...

Is tonight the jungle?

Yeah, but we're just gonna
do the table jungle theme,

so we don't need to
do two decks.

Tash and I still haven't
resolved, like, our conflict

with everything going
on with work.

I just don't agree
with her management style.

But you know, I'm here
to get my job done,

she's here to get her job done,

so we can put that aside and
deal with it at a later stage.

It's just about work
communication at this point.

No décor has arrived besides
this, besides costumes.

- It's like, that's...
- That's not at all...

This is the safari hat.
This is the safari hat.

I still need to do
cabins, laundry.

Mother****.

Meow.

Hello!

I like the ears.

I don't know, which ears
do you think?

Honestly, if you have
a big trunk,

then I would suggest
the elephant one.

Call me Dumbo.

Pretty nice.

This is great.

This is so great, oh, my gosh.

Would you like to start with
a white wine this evening?

Yeah?

- Still.
- Still?

So, what do you think
the nickname's gonna be,

Dumbo or Floppy?

Dumbo.

Better than Floppy, I guess.

Natalya, Tash.

The cabins are free,
if you need to get in.

Copy.

- Hi.
- What's happening?

- Not much.
- How are you?

Mm, I feel bad.

Try and pick you up... dance?

Hello?

I love this one.

Wait, leave it on...
put it on again.

Deck crew, deck crew,
can you please get someone

to clear the upstairs bin bag

and the lower stairs
bin bag, please?

Deck crew, can you
please get someone

to clean upstairs pantry?

It makes me really happy

that we've got such
a good friendship.

Obviously, we both kind of
wanted to be lead deck,

but even if he didn't get it,

he never, like,
takes it out on me.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God, what did I miss?

Can I take this for you?

Do you have to go,
can you support me?

All right, what do you need?

It's a secret.

No ways.

I have moments sometimes, like,
stuff just triggers me.

Yeah.

Whoa, what has been
used in here?

It's, like, oily.

All right, I'm gonna
throw this up there.

What time are you finishing,
same same?

Same, yeah.

Yeah, well, after I finish,

I've got two more cabins
and then I've gotta go to...

I'll try and wrap up when
you do, so we can hang.

We can bang, more like.

Nat is so confusing, man.

Like, she needs to decide,
you know, does she wanna be,

like, a really good friend,

or does she wanna lie in bed
and kiss all night?

I mean, I can have
a conversation with her,

but I know that she's not
gonna respond to that.

I'm kind of stuck.

Coming up...

Do you fancy anybody on
board, other than me?

No, I'm joking.

You have an undiagnosed
case of narcissism.

Wow.

Be careful what you
say to people.

That actually works for you.

Yeah, do it... be really
still, oh, that's great.

It's the little bangs
and the hat, yeah.

- That's so cute!
- Yeah, it's the little bangs.

Can I do anything to help?

You can.

I just need to get the fish,

and then I need the
asparagus to go...

So, you want me to do
the asparagus?

- Kind of like that.
- Yeah?

I feel like Dave is in a good
space on the boat right now.

It feels like he's back
to his old self.

It's, like, a nice energy,

and we have each other's
backs, which is great.

I'm gonna blowtorch.

Are you not blowtorching
at the table?

No, it's taking too long,
it's gonna be cold.

Okay.
We're ready.

Dude, that looks ****ing
ridiculous, dude.

I mean, that's average,
I've seen good things before.

Ready to rock?
Yeah?

Oh, look at that!

That's what you ****ing want.

It's gonna be a winner.

- Whoa.
- Oh, wow.

That is a big plate.

Okay, guys, got butternut squash
puree in the base,

we got some spinach,
some grilled asparagus,

and then we've got
grilled black cod

with a citrus hollandaise.

- Love it.
- Mm, it's good.

Oh, my God,
it's Saturday.

I'm missing the 'Bama
game right now.

No!

We're playing Ole Miss.

- What is that?
- American.

Oh, American football...

- I don't understand it.
- I don't understand it either.

I just know that they
wear big shoulder pads.

Does that turn you on?

No, it really doesn't,
actually.

Okay, I'm done.

Oh, my God.

- Almost.
- Chaos.

That was really good.

I'm glad.

Because it's so
tender and tasty.

Yeah.

Clear, Dave.

Clear?

Are you gonna come and announce?

Yep.

This is a South African classic.

It's called a milk tart.

Thank you, Dave.

You'll definitely enjoy it.

- I'm in my happy place.
- I'm exhausted.

Tash, can I do a beer again?

Yeah, sure.

Did everyone eat it?

Completely finished, the master
devoured it like an animal.

Hey.

- Hey!
- Hey, sis.

I woke up around 1:00.

No, I tried to,
but I haven't adjusted.

My home town, Decatur,
Alabama, it's a small town.

Everyone knows each other,

everyone knows each
other's business.

It's just not for me.

I do wanna travel,
I do wanna see the world,

and I can't really do that from
Decatur.

It'll always have
a special place in my heart,

but I need to be somewhere
where I can one, be someone,

and do something big, but
also...

be able to have fun.

Yeah, I would
like to think so.

I just wanna touch base.

I know I hadn't talked
to you all day.

I love y'all.

Ah, I'm cramping... ow!

I need potassium.

You're welcome.

Another hefeweizen?

It's a lot of head, though.

Any time I get all head,
that's always great.

Thanks so much for dinner.

Oh, you're welcome.

Thank you.

Retreat to the lair.

I'm so tired.

All right, I'll see
you mañana, JT.

See you in the morning.

It's 11:20 now.
Shall I leave 11:40?

Yeah, just the moment
that you're done.

I could fold those napkins
and get that sorted.

It takes forever.

Anyway, we'll just do it
as we normally do.

Yeah.

All right.

Natalya's frustrating at times,

because I don't wanna feel
like I'm on eggshells

with someone I'm working
so closely with.

It's like she wants to be
the boss, but she's not.

I'm gonna wipe and vacuum,

so hopefully you at least
clear the...

- I'll clear the pantry.
- And I'll just vacuum here.

Babe, I'm going to bed.

- Reid.
- What's up, my friend.

So, you're on the bow.

Your yellow line's gonna go
first to the tender buoys,

and then make sure
that you lock it,

because as soon as
you lock this one...

You've gotta drop
your other lines.

Okay.

And by that time, hopefully
I can send someone out

to come get you,
or we'll come help you.

Is she gonna tell me...

who's gonna tell me which one to
go first?

Either one of us will tell you.

Yellow lines first, not black.

- Yellow.
- Yellow lines.

Yes.

Deck crew, deck crew, anchor up,
we're headed back to the dock.

Copy, cap.

Good morning, Eric, how are you?

All right, how you doing?

Yeah, very well, thanks.

Anchor at the waterline.

Anchor home.

Nice work, Courtney and Mzi.

ETA to the dock is 37 minutes.

All right, chow down.

Yummy.

Fruits, chocolates, pastries,
it's really good.

If the wind's coming from
the starboard side,

whoever's on the starboard
is gonna lock it off

round the capstan,
around the cleats,

and then you're gonna help
him on the bow,

because he's gonna need help.

A new crew is kind of
like a recipe

for something to go wrong.

From what I've spoken to
Reid about his experience

on boats before, he seems
to be aware of the procedures

that need to happen,

the speed in which things
need to work on the bow.

I guess the only way that
we can find out is just do it.

Thirty meters, thirty meters
off your port.

Coming up...

Captain Sandy stepped in
and she said

don't speak like that.

I've got nothing else more
to explain to you.

- Own your bullsh**
- Kyle, pipe down.

You've been attacking Tash.

I'm literally the most
calmest person here.

Switching to starboard wing,
switching to starboard wing.

Copy, Captain, copy.

- Fenders ready.
- Just in case, yeah, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Your stern is clear to swing.

Your on line, you're on line,

you can start backing
up, Captain.

Ten meters.

Kick to starboard, Captain.

Light boat, man,
it blows around like crazy.

Captain, if you
can kick to port,

we need to align
ourselves at the dock.

Hey, Reid.

We need to kick to port to
align with the bollards.

Eight meters cable to stern,
you're straight.

Okay, Courts, you can throw
the first spring line, please.

Mzi, get your line out, please,
get your line out.

We're secure on the bow, Cap.

Mzi, you can stop locking and
just let it loose a little bit,

and then re-go.

Okay, Captain, you're good,
engines are down.

Thanks, everyone.
Excellent work.

That was good,
thank you so much.

Just go give Reid
a hand, please?

She's a ****ing weapon.

- Great job.
- Thanks, buddy.

Okay, Reid, you good?

I gotta drop
them this black one.

Yeah.

So, yeah, put that through.

Yeah, we're good, homie.

**** oh, these lines.

Some of these lines are
super slippery anyway.

But we have to come up
and get that as well.

Hey, how did you
feel on the bow?

It felt great.

- You did a good job.
- I appreciate that, Cap.

Nice work
back there, Courtney.

Thanks.

There's luggage
in the crew hall,

be careful while
you're up there.

**** me.

Sweating my ****ing
tits off, brü.

All crew, all crew, let's meet
on the dock for guest departure.

Copy.

Oh, no, I don't wanna leave.

Lifesaver over here.

Hey, thank you so much,
my packing elf.

My little packing elf.

You were great, oh, my God.

And you didn't pack yourself in
my suitcase, like I asked.

It's not too late,
it's not too late.

You gotta find room.

Yuck.

Thank you so much,
Captain Sandy,

you are the most bad ass lady
I think I've ever met.

Just like to thank all of you,
you guys did a great job.

Everyone was really helpful

and I thought the food
was spectacular.

On the hike, I loved
the location,

the color was beautiful.

I really appreciate it.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you so much.

- Thank you, guys.
- Bye!

Bye, guys, thank you.

All right, guys, out of
our whites, into our reds,

and we're gonna meet in the main
salon for our tip meeting,

and we're gonna turn
the boat around.

- Woo!
- Yes.

- All right.
- Great.

- Good job, good job.
- Thank you, Cap.

Nothing, honestly for nothing.

Yeah, yeah, take it
to the candy shop,

it's just a lollypop.

Dude, it was good.

I'm glad it was
only three days.

I know, yeah.

All crew, all crew,
let's meet in the main salon

for our tip meeting.

All crew to the main salon
for our tip meeting.

Everyone just give me space.

All right, so,
great charter, honestly.

And David, the fish**

the fish was really
freaking cool.

Yeah, that was awesome.

Interior, you guys killed it,
as always.

You had a growth moment,
which I totally love.

Yeah.

Reid, welcome,
you did a great job.

- Thanks, Cap.
- Yeah, that's awesome.

I think the crew...

I've loved working
with everyone so far.

Man, we're killing it.

It feels so good,
it feels so good.

Okay, so, this is the biggest
tip of the season...

- Whoa!
- Woo-hoo!

$27,500.

- Oh, my God.
- Yay!

Twenty-five hundred dollars a
person, 1,970 euros per person.

- Woo-hoo!
- Wow.

Congrats!

The whole situation
was a little weird.

The nude photo shoots
were, uncomfortable.

Whatever...

I'm here to make money
and not cause problems.

Turn the boat around.

Then you can drink
all you want.

Thank you!

So, should we whack...

- Sundeck, bridge deck aft.
- Sundeck, bridge deck aft.

Two teams.

Look how organized you are.

I love it in here.

This is all today's uniform

that got literally taken
off a minute ago.

I know, like, you're killing it.

Yes!

The tuck goes that way, below.

Oh, so, all of a sudden now...

see, this is why I say
"head of housekeeping,"

because you're good
at what you do.

Me and you discussed
because then it goes

- with the fold of the...
- We discussed?

It goes with the fold
of the blue mat.

The door?

Says head of housekeeping staff.

No, you see, every time...

you're never allowed
to say that again,

because I got sh**
For that comment.

You will understand...
you understand.

So, you're not allowed
to say it again.

You know, I'm really waiting
for things to kick off tonight.

It's gonna be good.

Yeah, I have a feeling
there's gonna be kick-offs.

- Yeah.
- Tequila, tequila.

- Shot, shot.
- Tequila, tequila.

Do you fancy anybody on board,
other than me?

No, I'm joking.
No, I'm joking...

You have an undiagnosed
case of narcissism.

I think this is Greek mythology.

So, basically, narcissism,
by definition,

it's a love of oneself so
great that it kills you.

Wow.

Ing hell.

Yeah.

I don't love myself, so you can
pack that one away right now.

It's not necessarily
loving the inside,

it's the exterior,
it's the vainness.

I don't love
my exterior, though.

I don't.

So, that's why...

You may not love
your exterior...

I... but you sure
do love your posterior.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

Those words have never
come out of my mouth.

Okay.
Sorry, then I misheard.

I, like, literally the
last person that loves myself.

Okay, that's
extremely depressing

and we can unpack that later.

Body image, it's really hard
for me to,

like, suppress that part down,

and he's literally just,
like ****ing let it roar

in my ****ing brain.

And what pisses me off is he's
met me for what, three days?

So, he has no idea of
who I am or,

like, what I think of myself.

Be careful what
you say to people.

I'm gonna go dry
the rest down there.

I was, like, how many
other people can think that?

No, I promise you, nobody
thinks that, like...

I really don't think that.

I know, but that's...
you know yourself.

I'm the least person
who ****ing thinks it.

Don't take everyone
so seriously, okay?

Maybe I should change
the way I act.

No, man, you don't need
to change yourself at all.

I'm gonna nap for 30 minutes.

Oh, watch out.

I wanna shag on this bed,
to be honest.

- Quick, let's go.
- Okay, let's go.

Is this how it works?

- I thought it...
- Ah!

- ****
- Yo.

Can we talk?

No, honestly,
I'm just being stupid.

- I'm really sorry.
- It's okay.

No, it's not, it's not,

because you really are
an awesome person.

I've, like, had so much
fun with you so far,

and I'm really sorry.

I don't wanna hide it...
I messed up.

I feel like I may have
just gone ahead

and thrown away a relationship
building with Courtney and Mzi,

and I need to admit that
and then try to make amends.

And I feel so bad.

Okay.

You're crying.
Why are you crying?

Do you wanna come up here?

So, we were on the sundeck,
and he was, like...

he basically like...

Yeah.

I think I was more of
a tomboy, actually,

growing up,
to my mum's dismay.

She always wanted me
to be, like, super-girly

and I'd be wearing all
my brothers' old clothes.

I don't know.

Let's go out.
We'll have a good time.

Mi amor!

Baby.

Got a gift for you.

Oh, thanks, babe!

This is too nice.

Courtney.

What the ****?

Woo!

I've gotta hide my boner,
hold on.

- Oh, wow.
- It's the queen of the night.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

Get in, losers,
we're going shopping.

This is like an ear candle.

You burning up?

Oh, my God, my whole nipple's
sticking out, **** me.

If you ever see my nipple
exposed, can you say something?

- Sure.
- That'll be great.

Courtney!

Oh, look at
this beautiful place.

Good.

Thanks for fingering me.

I needed that, guys.

Oh, my God, look at these!

Can we order some drinks
to begin with?

I'm gonna stick
to water tonight.

Two beers, three Aperols,
three espresso martinis.

Guys, this is so peaceful.

We're gonna ruin
this peace so good.

Hi.

I wanted you to know
I appreciate you.

Yeah.

And I've only known you for
three days.

I don't know what you're facing,
I don't know what problems,

and I do regret that
I caused any upset with you.

It's honestly fine.
Like, you had no...

yeah, I mean, you wouldn't
know that, like, and...

Hold on...

let's pause here, because
you should love yourself.

- But...
- You are awesome.

- But...
- You are great.

But that's the thing,
like, it...

You are amazing, and
look at yourself...

you're ****ing beautiful.

Recognize that, love that.

You didn't mean to...

you didn't mean any harm,
and yeah, it's all G, man.

I mean, I accept his apology.

He didn't know how bad
it was gonna affect me.

I struggle, like, on
a daily basis to, like,

like what I see in
the mirror and stuff.

Maybe it's a good thing that
he sees how much

it can affect somebody.

Like, that "one joke."

Just don't joke about it,
because I'll cry.

- Cheers, guys.
- Cheers.

Cheers to you being a cheeky
mother ****ing bitch,

but at least you
speak your mind.

- So, you know what he...
- No... love, love...

- Do you know what he...
- Love, love.

Thank you.

He comes up to me yesterday,
he goes,

"I just wanna tell you now,
I went up to Dave

and I called you a bitch,"
and I was like, "Okay."

No, I wanted to be honest,

because that came out,
like ugly.

I'm glad you're honest.

No, I told her, I hate like, it
really irritates me, and...

He what?

- Now you're being a bitch.
- You and Captain Sandy?

- Now you're being a bitch.
- Who and Captain Sandy?

She stepped in and
she said, "No."

Well, wait, wait, wait...

Don't talk about a
crew member in front of me.

- No...
- Behind their back.

- No.
- Are you okay, babe?

- Okay.
- Are you okay?

We're not discussing work.

We don't care for discussing
work right now.

Tash, I literally said that
one second ago,

I said I will speak to you guys,

whatever you wanna speak about,
in work hours tomorrow.

No, I've got nothing
to speak about.

I told you what
I told you, facts.

- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.

You mentioned...
you missed...

you didn't mention a few
other things, though.

I've got nothing else more to
explain to you than what I did.

Okay.

And you're getting
nothing else from me.

If you're looking for attention,
you're not gonna get it from me.

Looking for attention?

Yeah I told you facts, whatever
Storm told you is bullsh**

- Kyle, pipe down.
- You've been attacking Tash.

I'm literally the most calmest
person sitting here.

- Kyle...
- I'm ****ing calm. Read me.

- Kyle. Kyle.
- Look at you now.

"Look at you now."

- Nat, stop, stop.
- Look at you now, hon.

Don't... don't.

This needs to stop,
this needs to stop.

Face your own sh**