Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 5 - 99 Problems But a Chef Ain't One - full transcript

A recording artist charters Sirocco with her family to shoot a music video and uses the crew as her production assistants. Jack begins to develop feelings for Aesha after growing a little ...

- Previously on
"below deck med..."

- how are we making
these pancakes?

- I use this american, what
everybody ----ing uses.

- Yeah, but if you're a chef
and you don't know how

to make ----ing pancake batter,
that's a bit of a problem.

- Aw, [bleep].

I think I'm getting signs that
maybe I shouldn't be here.

- She knows she's
embarrassing herself.

Like that's such a good quality.

- No one has ever like...
- Dirty laundry...

- Hey, thank you
for my clean bed.

Thank you for
my clean bathroom.

- Yeah.

- The dinner, because
anastasia is really good,

I'm gonna have her do that.

- I wanted to cook
the dinner tonight.

- But I really need her
to cook the dinner.

- ----Ing anastasia,
giving instructions?

- What is this for?

- Oh, just something
I want to cook.

- Tonight mila is my sous chef.

She can help me make
a simple salad.

If I'm gonna be the chef,
I can't take a risk.

- It's really good.
- It's really good.

The dressing is good.

- Just make them look nice.

- If she wants to serve
the dry meatballs,

yeah, go for it.

- Compliments to the chef.
- Yeah!

- Mila, please
come up to the bridge.

- I feel like throwing up.

- Mila, please come up
to the bridge.

- Oh, this is bad.

- Captain?
- Hey.

So your attitude
has been amazing.

You have passion in the galley.
I could see it.

- Of course, I do.
- Of course, you do.

- Hearing from captain sandy
that I have a great personality

is very pleasant.

I really want to show you the
third charter that I can do it.

- What do you think
is gonna happen here?

- We've all worked really
----ing hard to help her.

So now there's no excuses.

- Yep.
- The chef is a chef, man.

They have to be good or gone.
Just how it is.

- As a human being, I've all
the compassion in the world.

But as a captain,
I have to let you go.

- But I've worked
on boats this size.

People who have their own boats
and private planes were happy.

- I'm really sorry.

- Okay.

Your decision is your decision

and if there is
no chance then...

Thank you for your support.
- Of course.

- I really appreciate it, okay?

Thank you.
- Okay, thank you, all right.

- Of course,
it makes me feel awful.

People like me who have big ego

sometimes have to be
put down to earth.

But it makes me feel like
I want to work even harder.

- I hired mila because
she was cordon bleu trained.

I'm looking forward
to witnessing you

create your amazing meals.

- This is for the guests.

- That's what
the guests are eating?

You gotta make 'em
something else.

I just couldn't keep mila
because she's a liability.

What are we gonna do?


Can you please come
to the bridge?

- Roger that.

- Hey.

I have a question for you.
- Yeah?

- Okay, so I just
let the chef go.

- Okay.

- Do you think that
you could fill in as chef

for the next charter?

- Chef is...
It's a ----ing hard job.

I would rather stay
in hannah's team.

- Okay.

- But I would be more than happy
to step up and help out.

- That's all... Okay, then.
- Yes.

- Then that's what'll happen.
- Yeah.

- Okay.

I'm taking a risk, but I'm
willing to take that risk.

And she has proven
she has raw talent.

Well, that's great.
Thank you.

- Yeah.

- All crew?
All crew?

To the crew mess.

- So I just let mila go.

- When will she leave?
- She's leaving today.

- Okay.

- Anastasia, she's gonna fill
the position for this charter

while I look
for a replacement.

- Thank [bleep] she's gone!

But it kind of sucks
for me because,

once again,
I'm down a stewardess.

- So will we be one short?
- Just one charter.

I've heard someone in
the deck crew actually cooks.

- I worked as a crew chef.
- All right.

Thank you for your help
in the galley.

- Thank god for that.

- No, no, no.
- He's yours.

We got this.
- Yes! Let's go!

- Great.

- I'm gonna be extra cocky
now because I'm, you know...

- Oh, jesus!
Any more than you are already?

[ chuckles ]

- do you need any help?

- No, it's fine.
I'm just packing.

- You'll be fine.
You'll be amazing.

I'll miss you, though.

- I feel bad for mila
in the sense that her time here

has been cut short.

But I don't feel bad
for her professionally

because she should be leaving.

She's gonna walk off this boat
and be like,

"I am the best chef
in the world... Still."

well, I'm proud of you
for taking it so well.

- It's okay.

- You're gonna be fine.
You're a strong woman.

- Yeah.

- You know, I just
feel weird about it.

That's life, yeah?

- Good luck.
Now [bleep] off.

I always feel like a winner.

That's why maybe I have
this pride and confidence

that I was always the best.

I never quit in this life.

It's a bit heavy.
- Oh, it's not heavy.

- Back to mother russia,


- Carpe diem!

- Oh...

- Let's hope she's the only one
that goes by the end of today.

[ chuckles ]

- really?

- This means that you've gotta
help me later on in life.

- Okay.

What do you want
for your birthday?

- How old is your sister?

- Only 18 months
younger than me.

- Oh, that's the difference
between me and my brother.

- Is it?
- They're all older.

Well, one of them actually
passed away five years ago.

- How come?
That's so sad.

Imagine at 24 finding out
that you've only got

like a year to live.

And then do you know his last
words just before he died?

- What?
- He said...

He said, "I. Love. You. All."

and that was his last words.

My brother's death has
shown me your life is so short.

Just do whatever
the [bleep] you wanna do

and go and fill the world.

Because one day,
you might not be able to.

[ chuckles ]

- sweet guys, well done.

- Yay, I don't need
to avoid mila in the car.

Girl's trip!

- You not gonna drink anything?

I don't have the experience
necessary for this role.

I'm gonna try my hardest,

but I'm very, very fearful
that it's not gonna be enough.

- Thank you!

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Cheers.
- Thank you.

- Could I have a margarita?
- Yes.

- May I please have an
espresso martini?


- ----Ing hell.

- I wanna get some snails
because I'm in France.

- Can we get chicken

- Can we have a drink
for our departed chef?

- Yes!
- A drink to mila.

- To mila!

- Yeah.
Look at this thing.

- Oh, I asked for
sour cream on the side.

- You can just scrape
it off the top.

- Yeah, I'll scrape it off.

[ speaking french ]

- yeah.
- Merci.

- You've been eating well.

- That's good sh--,
you know that?

Are you trying a snail?

- Garlic is ----ing okay.

- That was graphic.
You have it all over your face.

When I hang out with
my friends at home,

they're all married
and have kids.

A wild night is going
to a bar for a couple of drinks

and in bed by 10.

- Honestly, I could not be
happier with you and aesha.

- I'm so happy to hear that.

- Thank you so much.

- Bye.

- Let's go!

- Cheers.
- Colin, you bastard.

- Oh, my, yes!

- Gimme a guinness.

- Mila's the root cause
of so much sh--.

Now we could have fun for
the rest of this season.

- Well, that's one way to do it.

- I didn't know I was gonna
step in for the ----ing chef.

You know what I mean?

Like I'm not a ----ing
super yacht chef.

I'm so scared.

- I'm ----ing
working my ass off.

God, [bleep].

Okay, I'll talk to you
in the morning.

- Coming up...

- My son, the doctor,
he would like you to join him

at the family
thanksgiving dinner.

- I'm a third stew down,
I haven't had a break all day.

And now you want me
to [bleep] your son?

[ shouting ]

- oh!

- I love how we're like--

- okay, let's go, guys!

- Come on, we'll get
in this one together.

- No.

Come on, bro.
- I will shortly.

- I saw you and ----ing aesha
were grinding it, mate.

- Aw, mate, ain't she beautiful?

- Hey, you all right, love?

- Until she farted
in front of me.

- Don't you fart!
- [ farts ]


- I'm sorry.
I like a classy girl, mate.

Okay, you all right?

- Where's my phone?

- You okay?

- You good?
- Yep.

[ burps ]

- when a man shares
his mangina with you,

I know you're gonna
be friends for life.

[ chuckles ]

[ alarm clock rings ]

- a third stew does laundry.

She makes beds

and she has somebody
to look to for direction.

As a chef on the boat,
you are your entire team.

What am I gonna order?
What meals am I gonna make?

I'm the one doing everything and
I don't wanna let my team down.

- That is the land direction.

- ? bon jour ?

- I will.

- Do you remember last night?

- Yeah?

- Me and you had
that little kiss.

[ gasps ]
- did we?

- Yeah.
We were like dancing?

You just gave me like a little
smack on the lips.

I was just like, "lovely."

- I don't remember
dancing with you at all.

- Oh, nice one mate!

You're a prick.

- Hannah, anastasia and joao,

meet me in the crew mess for
our preference sheet meeting.

- Roger that.

- So our next charter...
- Hello.

- Daniel and sheree funsch,
a power couple.

Daniel and sheree used to own
their own charter yacht.

Joining them on this trip
will be their son, daniel, 29,

and their 17-year-old daughter,
ashley brinton,

who is a recording artist.

Ashley plans on shooting parts
of her next music video.

And they are looking
for top-notch service.

- Daniel and sheree would
like to have a rap party dinner

to celebrate ashley's music
video on the second night.

- For me, it's like
they know service,

which I'm not worried
with hannah.

How are you feeling
headed into this?

- I'm confident in my menu.

I've taken time to
write every single step down.

- Do I question putting
someone in the position

with very little experience?

Of course, but if
she feels that I'm hesitant

about her ability
to pull off being a chef,

that's gonna take her down.

She needs to know
her captain believes in her.

- Cool.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Perfect.

- How are you?

- Oh, we got provisions already.

- So this is some fresh...
Okay, perfect.

- Do you mind grabbing that?

- We on a train?
- Yes.


- Did anyone do anything
wrong last night, do you feel?

- Yeah.
You know what bothers me?

- Tell me.
- All like the sex jokes.

All they're talking about
when we're out, is like...

- Smashing.

- Would you sleep with
a tiny person?

I mean, if I met a dwarf
and they were like sexy,

I'd probably still crack on,
to be honest.

- Instead of talking about
like how big someone's dick is.

- This gave me a bit of
a stiffy, to be fair.

- Has it? You have
a little semi on.

- I don't want you to ween
yourself out of the group, mate.

Maybe we can have a...

What do you call it when
you pull everyone together?

- Intervention?
- An intervention.

[ laughs ]
no more dick talk.

Oh, it'd be dead silent.

- Joao, joao? Hannah.

Would you mind meeting me
on the aft deck?

- Copy.
- [ humming ]

- oh, gosh.
- What's up? You all right?

- Yeah, yeah.

- I'm feeling a little
bit of pressure just 'cause

we're one down, of course.
- Perfect, yeah.

- I just want to kind of work
out what we're gonna do...

- Okay.

- 'cause I need aesha
to go to bed early

so that she can get up
and do anastasia's sh--

in the morning.
- Yeah.

- Oh, my god.

- I guess I'm a
little bit worried about

can a third stew
cook on a charter

with guests that
are this specific?

- Exactly.
- It's really, really risky.

- We'll have to back her up
as well, you know.

She is taking on a big role.
- Exactly, yeah.

- All crew?
All crew?

Guests' arrival is at noon.

Everybody in their uniforms.
Thank you.

- Aw, mate, they're
not even ironed?

- No. You don't need
to iron pants, bro.

- I need you in your uniform.

- Yes, I'm gonna
change right now.

- Okay.
- Go change. I'll do it.

- Okay, thanks.

I've never felt anxiety
like this before in my life.

- I like the blue hull.
- Yeah, gorgeous.

- I'm filthy!

- Big smiles, big smiles.

- Coming up...

- To start with, you have
an asparagus risotto.

- Okay, I want to
try your risotto.

- I guess.

- Big smiles, big smiles.

- Captain sandy.
- Daniel funsch.

My wife, sheree.
- Nice to meet you.

- Sheree. Nice to meet you.
- Welcome.

- Hi. Hannah.
- A pleasure.

- Hi, I'm ashley.
- Sheree. Nice to meet you.

- I'm joao.
- How are you? Travis.

Very nice to meet you.
- Welcome aboard.

Hannah's gonna show you
around the boat.

We're gonna anchor up and
head to our destination.

- That's so exciting.
- The sooner, the better.

- Right. Awesome.

- Hey, guys.
- Hello.

- We've got a great location.
- I can't wait.

- Welcome aboard.
- Thank you, thank you.

- Is this organic?
- Oh, it's not. I'm sorry.

It's just veuve.
- It's veuve.

- It doesn't really matter.
- Oh, my god, you scared me!

- If it has alcohol,
I'm good to go, baby.

- Behind.

- If we tidy everything up,
then we're sound.

- Just slide it up here.

- So this is our
bridge deck aft

where we'll be doing
meal services.

- It's so nice to be outside.
- Yeah.

And then we've got
the forward area here.

- Oh, this is such a nice view.

- There's a nice sun pad
in the front.

- There is.

- You can shoot scenes
from the video

or something up there, right?
- Oh yeah, for sure.

- What do you think? 10 minutes
before we could leave?

- Yes.

- And this is your master suite.

- Oh, wow!
- Very nice.

- Could you please peel these?
- I can.

- This is the main salon.

- It's nice to have
the bar here, isn't it?

- Yeah.
- It's really nice.

- Yeah.

- Got it?
- Yeah, I got it.

- Oh, that works pretty well.
- Yeah, bud.

I worked on a backpacker boat
as a cook for a few months.

Learned three meals really
well to cook for,

you know, 60 people.

How you planning to do them?

- Dice them small, fry them up.

So anyone who is my friend,

I will try to help as much
as I possibly can.

Hey, joao, man, just let us
know when you want me out

and I'll run to the back.

- Copy, bro.
Three of us are good for now.

- Yeah, nice, mate.

- Here are the downstairs
guest cabins.

- Yeah, I like this one.

- Captain sandy?
Captain sandy?

Good to go.
- Release the ground lines.

- Copy.

- I don't know.

I'm gonna go and get
the bow line off now.

- Will you start
pulling that in?

- Need a hand, joao?
- It's all good, bro.

- Losing our lead deckhand
to the galley

puts joao in
a huge disadvantage.

So now he has jack
and jack is, you know...

He has colin.
He's strong.

But this is where joao's
gonna have to step up

and I'm gonna watch
how he leads.

- Okay, I'm gonna go to the
stern, take those ones off.

- You're all set, right, joao?

- Make sure you get this one!
- Yeah, pull it!

- Well, you couldn't
ask for more than this.

- Clear of the lines!
- Okay, going into gear.

Thank you.

- Okay, start wrapping up
these lines straight away.

- How are you guys hunger-wise?

- Hungry.
- Hungry?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Captain, you're gonna have
a little sail boat

following you out on
your starboard side.

- Just incredible, isn't it?
- Yeah.

- Um, they are hungry.

- Okay.
Trav, help me with crew meal?

- Hey, sure.

- I love that they
have m&ms here.

- [bleep] you.

- Oy, real nice and warm,
straight out of the oven.

- Oh, mate.
- Get around it.

- Cheers, man.

- Brie, can you hold this?
- I'll hold it.

- Okay.

- ? I woke up, like,
good morning ?

? time to get to the day ?

? work like... ?

? every day it's good morning ?

? feeling great, how are you? ?

- I'm excited to see
some of this video clip.

They're already
doing some shooting.

- ? focus, I be focused
on the money ?

? hold your opinion
I don't care if you love me ?

? you control your mind
every day ain't sunny ?

? I'ma keep on working
like I'm struggling ?

? I woke up like good morning ?

- what is she doing?

- She's just kind of
sitting up on the couch

just being like...

- ? working like
I'm scared to lose ?

? wake up good morning
good morning ?

? good morning ?

? good morning
good morning ?

- aesha, aesha? Hannah.

Can you set their
table for lunch?

- Copy! Coming!

- Where did everybody go?

- They're shooting the video.
- Oh.

- I'm gonna be
so drunk by lunch.

- Mind sitting that one
a little bit forward?

Two stanchions forward, yes.
Thanks, bud.

- Do you know how
to get this to work?

- Probably.

- yeah.

Just like a good old campfire!
- Classic teamwork.

- Can I lower at
starboard anchor toward land?

- Yes, and then
you can let it go.

- Copy. Open up.

Stop, stop, stop!
That's it.

That is all the chain out,
all the chain out.

- Okay, great.
We're good.

- Five to 10 minutes?

- 10, 15 minutes.

- You're such a boss.

- This charter, I am driving
in my safety lane.

Everybody said that they
like mexican food

on their preference sheet.

I'm making dishes
I know I have made before.

I know the flavors, I know
how to execute them.

- Okay, you guys can go
and sit down.

And we can get started on lunch.

- Thank you so much.

- Anastasia, all guests
are seated.

We're good to go.
- Okay.

I'm gonna come with
the food, hannah.

Oh, god.
This plate is very hot.

- And I'm gonna
come up with this.

- And you got the tongs?
- Yes.

- Just be careful
with that corn.

- I know.

- You like a tortilla?
- Yes, please.

- I'll just do a quick
run-through what everything is.

This is chicken and
spinach enchilada.

Citrusy white fish
with cajun dressing.

Mexican street corn,
ground beef,

lettuce, pico de gallo,
spanish rice.

And these are
homemade corn tortillas

and whole wheat
flour tortillas.

Enjoy, guys!
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
Thank god!

- We're gonna try everything.

- Coming up...

- Colin, just put that down
and pull the slide in.

That's more dangerous.
- I need a...

- Travis, can you come up
to the bridge

and help pull the
slide in, please?

- Oh, this is a disaster.

- Honey, we're
gonna try everything.

This is amazing!
- This is so good.

- Nailed it!
- Good?

- Kudos to the chef!

- I'm really proud of anastasia
because she's killing this.

I just wish it was
a chef that was killing it

and not my third stew.

- They're super lovely
and lunch looks great.

- Yes.

- They were like
stuffing their faces.

"it's so good!"

- I can't believe
how difficult it was.


- You busy?
- No, mate, let's go.

Let's smash this, boys.

- Let me know when you
want me to lower?

- No, not yet.

He hasn't put the pins in
any of the rollers.

- Yeah, there we go.
- Yeah.

- I think you got it.

- This is wank.
I'm sick of this.

- I can't stop!

- Is anything set up
for the slide?

- I'm gonna help travis
just throw the slide over.

- Yeah, yeah, sweet.

- Oh, my god, this is amazing!

- Hey, bruno, it's
captain sandy, I need a chef.

Anastasia did great, but what's
her next meal and her next meal?

A super yacht chef
has to perform

different meals on the fly.

So I'm gonna continue
looking for a chef.

- Hell, yes!

- Joao, joao? Hannah.

Could I borrow one of
the boys for clearing?

- Roger.
Coming up now.

- And you go forward.
Yep, there you go.

- On my way here. I'm busy.


- That was quick.
- It was.

- ? go, gris ?

- ash, wake up.

-? I woke up, like,
good morning ?

? I'm a get to the day ?

- I majored in music
in college.

I'm a music nerd and,
considering how

I've been feeling lately,
having ashley and her music on

this charter has been a
really nice pick-me-up.

- All right, ready, boys?
Show some skin. Come on!

- Yeah!


- Can you just pull two more
bottles of pinot noir?

It's in the bar fridge.
- Yeah.

Let me give it like 10 minutes.

- I'm gonna go down now
for a bit.

- Yeah, go down.

I'm going down for a bit.
- Uh-huh.

- Holy crap!

- Oh, my god.
- Holy sh--.

- All right, we're gonna move.
It's too rolly here.

Deck crew! Deck crew!

I'm going to move the vessel
in a calmer location.

We're gonna just bring
the slide in.

And we'll tow all the other toys
with the castoldi.

- Copy that.
- Weather forecast,

expected wind to come.
It came earlier.

The swell's really bad.

Yes, I got a man down,
but safety first.

We're gonna move the boat.
- I feel the boat like...

- It's starting to pick up.

- It'll take us a couple minutes
to deflate this, joao.

Just give us a sec.

Stern door is closed.

I'm just gonna take
the tender off now.

- We're gonna use that?
We're gonna lift it?

- If we can try and hook it
up to one of the handles,

we can just lift it up
and then bring it in.

- Why are you lifting it?

- Now? We're rolling.

That's more dangerous.

Not a good time
to use the davit.

That's a little heavy ball
on the end of that.

Colin, just put down and
pull the slide in. Thank you.

- All righty.
I need a...

- Is travis on deck?
- He's in the galley.

- Travis, can you come up
to the bridge

and help pull he
slide in, please?

- I'm stuck on the side.

- Anyone from interior,
please get travis.

- He's on his way right now.
- Thank you.

This is where I need a leader.

Clearly, these two
can't figure it out.

- Jesus christ!
- What's up?

- They need help.

I don't know what's going
on out there.

- Okay.

What's happening?
- We need help lifting it.

- I think he needs to
do some pushups.

- You ready?
One, two...

- Ready, one, two...


- My dock.

- Can you start hauling
the anchor in?

And thank you
very much, travis.

- We did see a little love
connection here onboard with...

- With who?
- What's up, girlfriend?

- Hey!

- We are talking about
love connections

and we want to know about you.

- I'm an independent woman!

[ chuckles ]

- oh, I love that!
Cheers to that!

- The last time I had a
relationship was two years ago.

I'm very picky with guys.

- Girl...

- I got through a bit
on my own

but it was very lonely
without you last night.

- You went to bed alone?
- No.

I got through a lot.

- Oh, the washing?
- Yeah.

- I was gonna say,
yeah, bed's quite lonely.

Okay, ready?
- Just watch behind.

I'm gonna be in the locker.

- Anchor home.

- Okay, going into gear.
Thank you.

- Oh, pizza pie!

That's amore!

At dinner tonight,
I want gnocchi.

People say I'm a little
too much with the gnocchi.

But when you love something...

- It bothers me when guests
come into the galley.

But at this point,
I'm like so nervous

like I will do anything
to please you.

- Stay away from me.
I'm having gnocchi.

- Sheree's not my wife.
- Oh...

- She's my wiiiife.

- You look like you
need some more wine.

- That is true because...
You know, let's follow her.

- They're getting smaller,
right? The swells?

- Yeah, they seem a little lower
than where we were before.

- Yes.
- Look at that.

- Oh, that's beautiful.
- Oh, wow, that's gorgeous.

- Are you ready on
the starboard anchor?

- Yep, we're on it.

- Okay, anchor down.

- You know what would be
good as decorations?

A bunch of smashed glass.

- Sounds wonderful.

- Good?
- Yeah.

- All right, thank you.

- What's going on?
- Making gnocchi.

- Fresh and sh--.

- Yeah.

- It is so hard to be me
because you have henry

who wants to be the
center of attention.

You've got little a.B.
Doing a rap song: Attention.

And then you have dr. Dan
who just gets the attention.

And then there's me.

- And there's no attention
left for you?

- No.

- Okay.
Are you happy with that?

- Uh, yep. It's okay.

- You done risotto a lot?
- Yeah.

- Nice.

My ex, he worked in like a
two-michelin star restaurant.

And he did all the meat and fish

and he never touched
the pasta and rice.

I was like, oh, my god.
- Yeah?

- From now on, I cook all the
pasta and rice because you suck.

[ chuckles ]

being with my ex-boyfriend,
I started picking up

on knife skills and the way
to cut certain fruit,

the way you need to cut fish,
ways to spice meat,

a lot of technical skills
that I wouldn't have learned

because I didn't go
to culinary school.

- I'm gonna go outside briefly
unless you have something.

- Nope.
You do what you need to do.

- I'm gonna leave you
in cabins alone tonight, okay?

- No worries.

- Tired?
- Little bit.

- All right, we have
15 minutes.

- So we are ready to go, eh?

- I get so impatient.
I just want it.

- Mm-hmm.

- They're all big
italian cuisine fans.

So I'm gonna start off with
an asparagus lemon risotto

followed by spinach gnocchi.

My heart is racing.

- Oh, god!

I've been drinking so much,
my fingers are swollen.

- Dinner ready lips.
- Here we go.

He's been looking for you.
- I've been looking for...Oh!

- Oh, hello.
- Whoa!

- Hannah, hannah, we've got
some guests at the table.

- Copy.

Would you like still
or sparkling?

I'm thinking sparkling.

- All right, I'm going down
to the dungeons if you need me.

- Anastasia, hannah.
- Go ahead.

- We've gotten
the guests seated.

- I'll start plating.

- Copy, copy.
- Cheers.

- These are good to go.

- Killing it, dude.
- I can only do two.

- I am.
- Travis, are you coming?

- [bleep] yeah, I'll come.
- Thank you.

- [bleep] yeah, I'll come.
I love your enthusiasm.

- Thank you.

- To start with, you have
an asparagus risotto.

- Oh, wow.
- Thank you.

- Enjoy.

- Okay, I want to
try your risotto.

- Coming up...

- Captain, some of
the anchor's on deck.

Oh, [bleep] me.

- So to start with this evening,

you have
an asparagus risotto.

- Oh, wow. Thank you.
- Enjoy.

- That's amazing, yeah.
- Mm.

- Wow.

- That's so good.
- Amazing.

- You know what you're doing.

There is an art to making
basic food taste good.

Anastasia's risotto
is delicious,

probably one of the best
I've ever had.

- Oh, hannah,
we'd like to know

what you're doing
for thanksgiving.

- When is that?
- My son, the doctor,

he would like you
to join him

at the family
thanksgiving dinner.

- I'm a third stew down,
I haven't had a break all day.

And now you want me
to [bleep] your son?

Like I don't have enough
time to brush my hair,

let alone [bleep] your son.

- I love when guys ask me
out through their dad.

[ laughs ]

- hannah's running!

We won't see hannah
for the rest of the trip.

- Probably not.

- Aesha, anastasia?
All plates cleared.

- Will you tell her I copy?
- Copy that.

- So I'm gonna say
homemade spinach gnocchi?

- Yep.

- And, boom, take it!
Get outta my face!

- God, she's sounding
like a chef.

You have homemade spinach
gnocchi with sun-dried tomatoes,

pork belly in a white wine
cream sauce with petite arugula.

- Wow.

- Oh.
- Wow.

- Oh, that is one good...

- Oh, I love to hear
those sounds, yum-yum.

- It is really good.
- So good!

- She's outstanding.
- It's like music to my ears.

- Delicious!
- So good.

- Thank you so much.

- I can't even...I...Phew!

- They loved their dinner.

- I'm happy.
I'm so happy.

- Me too.

- Yeah, I don't want
this position.

But I still kind of get off on
the fact that I'm doing good.

- I wanna go in the hot tub.
- Yeah? Okay.

- Empty plates, baby.
- Woo!

- Deck crew? Deck crew?

Could you uncover the jacuzzi?

- You're really weird.

- Go to bed then.
I'll do this.

- Goodbye.
- Oh, god.

- Cool. 'night, guys.
- Cheers.

- Thanks for the help, travis.
- Good job.

- Guys, I'm going
to captain snooze city.

- I love thee to
the depths and the breadths

of a heart my soul can reach...

- That's amazing.
- I was a drama kid.

- You're the least person
I'd expect

to be quoting
billy shakespeare.

Aesha's got more layers
to her than what you think.

One minute, she's talking about
sticking her finger up her ass.

Next minute,
she's reciting shakespeare.

But I do like her a lot.

- You see, I've got
a lot of surprises in me.

- I'm sure you do.

- If I'm single when I'm 30,

I don't want to go
online because...

- You're not gonna
be single when you're 30.

- I'll see you
tomorrow, brother.

- Peace out, brother.

- Is there anything more
than you'll need jack for?

- I thought I wasn't doing this
late shift with jack anymore.

- It's had to work like this.
I'm sorry.

- Joao, I'm really not

- I'm sorry.
- Have a good night.

- Sleep tight. Later.

- Sweet dreams, baby girl.

I love you.
- I love you, too.

- All right, ash.
I'll see you in the morning.

[ bell rings ]

- what is going on here?

Captain sandy?
Captain sandy? Jack.

So this one changed.

- So weird.

Go get joao for me.
- Okay.

- We have to move anyway.
- [bleep].

I'm so tired.

We're all working our asses off.

And now I'm like,
"what the [bleep]?"

- this has just been updated.
That's some serious wind.

The harbor in cannes
is much safer.

- Okay.

- When a boat's really rocky,

I don't want my clients
uncomfortable or seasick.

So I move the boat
in the middle of the night

because that's what we do.

Colin, colin? Joao.

Can you meet me on
the swim platform?

- Be right up there.

- Coming?
- Yeah, he's coming.

- You can start pulling
in on the anchor.

- Copy that.
Taking up now.

- Yeah, right there.
- Got it.

- I can't see sh--.
Stop when I say.

- Anchor's home.

- Eta, 25 minutes.

- Who's on now?
Colie wally?

- Cheers, bro.

- Are you supposed
to be on watch?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- This is the first time
I'm dropping anchor by myself

in the middle of the night.

And I'm feeling
like a duck right now.

- All right, you're gonna
get ready to drop anchor.

- Like ducks like on the water,
they're like chillin'.

But like their feet like
underneath, they're like...

You know?

- You can go ahead and
drop the starboard anchor.

- But I do want to prove that
I can do the job myself.

- Just let it out. Go ahead.
I'm backing now.

- I got about four
and a half, cap.

- Go ahead and lock it down.

- You're straight up
and down, cap.

- Thank you.

- Nailed it.

- I'm just gonna try and
get the deck sorted

for the lads and stuff.

- I'm solid up here.
You do what you need to do.

- We'll be here the whole day.

So we're gonna start throwing
the toys off quickly.

- Is it slide as well?
- Yep.

- Although we're nailing
this charter.

I've got a lot
of pressure on me.

I'm tired, but I'm
looking forward to it

all going back to normal where
I have my lead deck back.

And anastasia's
back to third stew

and everything runs
smoothly again.

- I just don't understand how
this was so difficult for mila.

- Yeah.

- Morning, ladies.

- Could I bother you
for some tea?

- Like english breakfast
or something?

- Perfect.
- Tip it.

- Okay, mother----ers,
breakfast is ready.

- Thank you, love.
- There you are.

- Thank you so much.

- Oh, mate!

- Oh, how beautiful!
- Holy god!

This is amazing!

- Thank you.
- It's awesome, it's awesome.

- It's a pleasure. Enjoy!

- I'm gonna destroy
a bunch of things here.

- I'll never go starving
on this boat.

- And everything is amazing.

Joao, joao, can you please
come to the bridge?

- Copy.

- You were great setting us up.

But I don't want to
have the same look.

This isn't really beautiful.
- Okay.

- I would like to
head over across the bay.

Now that the swells
have calmed down,

I'm gonna move the vessel

because the client's
making a music video.

And a backdrop in cannes
isn't as great

as the backdrop
across the harbor.

It's like beautiful rocks
and old forts.

They're going to love it.

You could deflate this
and hang it on the side?

- Yeah, cool.
We'll get on it now.

I never bitch about work,
but this is insane.

Attention, deck team,
we are going to be moving.

Get the trampoline in and then
we'll tow the rest of the toys.

I'm gonna start
pulling up the slide.

- Copy that.

[bleep], no.

- Ola!
- Ola.

- Good morning.

- This is bullsh--.

- Good morning, sir.
Would you like some water?

- Uh, no.

What I would like is
vodka and orange juice.

- Are you serious?
- Nice!

- Right now?
- Let's do this!

- Start to prime my body,
letting it know what's coming.

- Deflate the trampoline,

bring the toys around the
trampoline to the las.

I will tie the jet skis.

- Whoa!

- Had a red bull yet?
- No, not yet.

- Damn it.

- It's exhausting
without a break.

But we're in this situation, so
you've just got to push through.

- I might be speaking too soon,
but it's kind of going well.

- I got skills.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- ? good morning, good morning
good morning ?

- okay, when you're ready,
start hauling the anchor.

- Copy that, cap, I'm on it.

- Woo! Thank you.
- Oh, you got a bloody!

- Woo!

- You're up and down, cap.
- Thank you.

- Oh, my god!

- You good?

- It's just the toaster.
- Oh.

- Can you keep that closed?
Can you keep that closed?

I hope the fire alarm
doesn't go off.

- This is the most yoga as
I ever done in my life, cap.

- Don't fall in.

- That ----ing toaster
is a piece of sh--!

- Gonna fan it out.
- That was a close call.

- Hold on, captain,
you're not in yet.

I gotta check the locker.

Oh, [bleep] me.

Cap, some of the anchor
is on deck.

- What?

- I need someone down here, cap.

- I'll help.
- Oh, [bleep].

- Holy sh--!
You bent this whole thing!


- next on "below deck med"...

- It's not up to you
to decide

whether you're ----ing
finished or not.

It is not up to you.
- It is...

- No, it's not!
He doesn't want to learn.

He is here for the money
and a good time.

- If you do it again,
then that's your paycheck.

That sounds really kinky.
- Yes, I do.

- Hannah is an absolute honey.

Check her out in her
little ----ing pencil skirts.

- The thing is that
people who've never been

in that position
don't understand.

They're like,
"oh, you just cook."

it's like, no,
it doesn't just ----ing happen.

- Where are you going?

- Anastasia, can you please
come to the bridge?

- I'm not a third stewardess.
I'm the ----ing chef.