Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 4 - Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen - full transcript

Joao confides in Captain Sandy about his heartbreak while promising not to let his emotions get in the way of his work. Chef Mila continues to struggle in the galley, forcing Captain Sandy ...

- Previously on
"below deck med..."

- guess who's coming back?
- Who?

- My friend,
dr. Jennifer berman.

- My main focus this charter
is having all the girls

on service making sure
those glasses stay filled.

Would you like a bit more?
- Absolutely.

- There cannot be one mistake.

- Is that the crab, jen?
I'm gonna eat that.

It's a little fishy.

- I'm gonna get you
different food.

I'm making them take all
the fish off the table.

- No!

- It's quarter to 10.
- 20 to 10?

- I'm up. Colin's up.
All the girls are up.

You look like dickheads.

[ chuckles ]

- she knows she's embarrassing
herself and she doesn't care.

Like it's such a good quality.

- You never smoke, eh?
- Oh, not my thing.

I got along with
everybody last season.

This season's
a little different.

They're all nice people.

They're just not
my type of people

that I would hang out with.
- Goddamn, you're pure.

- How about I keep
anastasia in the galley?

- That's great.
- Yeah?

- For your main
course this evening,

you have a beef filet.

- Fine.
- Acceptable and fine is...

- People don't charter a super
yacht for just "fine" food.

- [bleep] me.
Where's my sponge?

- Let me get in that kitchen
and cook something, please?

- We did it!
- Oh, there it is.

[bleep] that.

- They don't like it.
- They don't?

- Okay, so we failed today
in the food sense.

- Yes.

They seem okay with the food?

- I didn't really hear
anything, but...

- Yeah.
- So...

- What can we do for tomorrow?

- We'll give them a
hearty breakfast.

- Okay. This is crazy.

- I'm gonna go change.

- How did it go anyway, mila?
How did it go tonight?

- Well, better than
the afternoon, huh?

- Was it sh--
in the afternoon?

- This is really slimy.
- I'm not eating that.

- What did you say when
they said that?

- What am I supposed to say?

- ----Ing quiet in here,
now, isn't it?

You'd feel pretty bad for her,
but it's also your own doing.

Like you don't, at
50 billion charter boat,

to go in as a chef
and when you're

completely incompetent,
I mean,

the size of the balls on
her is huge.

That's just ----ing
mental to do that, really.

- I've never washed so dishes
than I have in the last week.

- This is classic yachting.

- I think we're gonna
hit the sack.

- No!

- Where does that one go?

- I'll take it off
your hands.

- Put the little ones there.

[ chuckles ]
- absolutely not where it goes.

- Why not?

- When you put the plate away,

it's like the same size as the
one that you put it on top of.

[ laughs ]

jack is one of the people
that I feel closest to.

I think, right from the start,
I've been super drawn to him

just because our
personalities click so well.

But I'm not going out
of my way to find a guy

because I just have so much
more fun without it.

Did you like play those
shape games

when you were a kid like putting
the shapes into the box?

[ cell phone rings ]

- hey, how are you doing, honey?

- I'm tired.

I was sh---ing my pants
that entire dinner service.

I'm so happy that it's over.

So let me tell you
what we did for dinner.

I did a citrus carpaccio.
That was the starter.

And then mila did filet mignon.

You wanna say hi?
My mom.

- Aw!

[ chuckles ]

- goodnight.

- It was very nice
to speak with you.

[ speaking russian ]

- I'm off. Night, babe.
- Have a good sleep.

- Love you.
We'll see you in the morning.

- I don't eat breakfast.

- I'm like are you kidding me?

Joao and I are
becoming even closer

just by bashing
brooke's new boyfriend.

- I wake up this morning and
I want to show the captain

that I don't need any help.

- All right, guys.
I'm ready to depart.

Jack, you can start
hauling the anchor.

- Good morning.
Would you like a cappuccino?

- That's anchor home.

- Going into gear.

- Good morning.
- We've got a buffet coming up.

But would anyone like
anything else?

- Something special, you mean?
- Yeah.

- Yeah. Two eggs scrambled,
two eggs over easy,

few pancakes on the side,
regular buttermilk pancakes.

- Okay, we got some orders.
- Yep.

- Two eggs scrambled,
two eggs over easy.

- Thank you.
- And pancakes.

- Copy that.
- Eating pineapple.

- Because it's good for your...
- Vagina?

- Yeah.
- It makes it sweeter.

- ----Ing sh--.

- Joao? Joao?

Can you please
come to the bridge?

- Copy that.

- Two eggs over easy,
two scrambled.

- And pancakes?
- Huh?

- See, I told you.
I wrote it down.

- Coming.

- Can you cover for me here?
- Absolutely, yeah.

- Okay, so we're 52 minutes out.

- No problem.
- Okay.

- Jack, do you mind doing
the crew job?

I'm on watch.

- Oh, start the job
and I'll finish it.

[ chuckles ]

- and we're doing a
buffet plate of pancakes.

- That's great, terrific.
Thank you.

- ----Ing sh--.

- What? We're waiting on
a stack of pancakes?

- It's like my jaw is locking.
I need to eat.

- How long until
everything will be ready?

- Um, good question.

- Sorry about your breakfast.
- I'm hungry.

- Can you...Uh. See?

Even in one pan,
it becomes like this.

- They're ----ing pancakes!
How hard can they be?

They want like american
fluffy pancakes.

- How are we making
these pancakes?

- I used a special
pancake batter, okay?

- Why are we using
the box batter, though?

- So that you don't tell me
I can't ----ing bake,

I use this american,
what everybody ----ing uses.

- Yeah, but if you're a chef
and you don't know how to make

----ing pancake batter,
that's a bit of a problem.

- Okay, hannah.
- That's insane.

- Maybe I should...Oh, honey,

you've already
got my third stew.

You want the chief
stew as well cooking?

- No. It's frustration and anger

because I'm serving absolute
sh-- to guests!

So you don't need to come at me
about anything at the moment.

[ sighs ]

you're now bringing
aunt jemima into this?

Like, leave her out of it!

If you're a chef
and you can't cook pancakes,

you're not a ----ing chef.

- Okay, I'm barely
out of breakfast.

- You're done?
- The pancakes are here!

- No, those aren't
pancakes, are they?

- They're like dollars.
- Okay.

These were one hour
in the making.

Someone else can eat it.
I'm bailing out.

- I'm going back to the bridge.

I've given mila
multiple chances.

That's what the
guests are eating? Tacos?

Was that for the guests?
- Yeah.

- Oh, my god, so bad.

- Nope. I'm not eating that.

- But she can't
even make pancakes.

Come on.
Holy sh--.

Awful chef.
- Yeah.

- Coming up...

- She's flirting with the guys.

- I'd be willing to risk
my life to bang

dr. Jen, never mind my job.

- I'm friendly, I'm kind,
but now I'm getting pissed.

- I'm really, really
sorry about breakfast.

- No, it's okay.
Yeah, it's fine.


- What I want to do instead
of doing lunch on the boat,

do lunch ashore,
and I'll come with you.

- Okay.
- All right, great.

Hannah, we are going
to make lunch reservations

to shore for 2:15,

and I'm going to be
joining them.

- That sounds perfect.

- Deck team, please come
to the bridge.

We're about to drop anchor.

- Crackin'?
Crackin', brother?

- You need to do something
with your hair.

I don't want to do this again.
- Okay, okay.

- I do not want to see
your hair like that again.

- Like this?
- That's good, okay.

- Understood.
- All right, back to work.

Thank you.

Set him down,
and it's not a joke.

- Yes.
- I'm friendly, I'm kind...

- 100%.
- But now I'm getting pissed.

- Okay.

- Aesha? Aesha?
- Go ahead.

- Um, what are you up to?

- Oh, my god, okay, copy that.

- Anchor down.

- Four shackles.

- We are sitting
at four shackles.

- Okay, you can lock it down.

Hannah, hannah,
to the bridge?

- Copy that.
On the way.

- Hey, we need her.

- Anastasia?
- Yes, to stand in as chef.

- Okay.

- I gotta have
the quality of food.

- Last season, I went home
and really had to have

a hard look at what was
causing my anxiety.

And I think the biggest thing
I took out of it is

anything I can't control,

there's no point
stressing about.

Just do the best you can
and hold on for the ride.

- Thanks, hannah.
- Thank you.

- Bon jour. I was hoping to
make a reservation

for lunchtime today
for eight people.

- What time do you
need the table?

- Uh, 2:00 p.M. Would be great.
- Okay.

- Thank you so much.

- Anastasia, can you please
come to the bridge?

- Copy.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Is everything out?
- Almost everything's out, yeah.

- Okay. I want you to run
with the dinner for me.

- Yes. Okay.

- Because I want their last meal
to be an amazing meal.

- Yep. I feel awkward.

I am a third stew being told
I'm in control of the galley.

That's a lot of pressure.

But from what I've seen,
I think I'm a better chef.

- Captain sandy,
all toys are good to go.

If you don't have to be
in the galley, like don't...

- Avoid it like the plague.

- So the water toys are
in if you want to go.

- Oh, sure!

- Oh, I missed her.

- She's flirting with the guys.

- Have fun!

- I definitely do know
where the line is

when flirting with
charter guests.

- Oh, thank you so much.

[ chuckles ]

- mila? Mila?

Can you please come
to the bridge?


Okay, so here's
where I am as the captain.

I think you're overwhelmed.

It's a lot and
I'm being brutally honest.

The dinner, 'cause
anastasia's really good,

I'm gonna have her do that.

- I wanted to cook
the dinner tonight.

- I'm really sorry, but I really
need her to cook the dinner.

- I mean, like,
okay, yesterday...

- No.
- They weren't?

- No.

The steaks had no flavor,
they weren't seared.

- But they ate them.
- They're hungry.

- We can work together, but...

- Yeah, but I need her
to take point on this.

- All right.

I'm more than happy
to work together

in the galley for tonight.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

But I'm not a quitter.

[ crying ]

- I hate to be a bitch,
but I really couldn't eat

any of that ----ing food.

- We're gonna leave here
in 20 minutes.

- I'm starving.
- Can we do italian for dinner?

- Is that what
they would prefer?

- Let me have a look
at their preference sheet.

Italian, italian, italian.
- Italian!

Do you think they would
all like meatballs?

- I don't think the
meatballs is a bad idea.

And affogato for dessert.

- If you don't want
to discuss it with me,

you can cook
everything by yourself.

- I'm not the chef.
That's not what I get paid for.

Every time I take food out,
I'm sending it back

or it's getting sent back
by the guests, so...

- Every time, okay.

- I can't stand there

and listen to the two
of 'em go at it.

- Well, it's good, hannah,

that you are doing your job
with a perfect standard.

The best chief stew
I've ever seen in my life.

- The guests are happy
with the service

when I have my third stew.

The guests are not
happy with the food.


- Hannah, let's just end
this conversation.

- Then don't even talk to me.
- No, you're the one.

I'm sitting here and you don't
say everything in my face.

- I'm saying it to your face.

Anastasia needs to cook
because your food is sh--!

Boom! There!

- Ready to roll?
- We're ready.

- So we proceed over
there to that marina.

Jennifer, will you
take our photo?

- Suck in your stomach
a little more!

- Oh, shut up!

- Very picturesque.

- Hi.
- Hi. Thank you.

- Trivian.

- Oh, my god,
look at the sunglasses.

- And hats too.
- I'll sit here.

- Oh, yeah, look at
that villa there, mate.

I can see me perched in there.

- Just find yourself
a rich milfy, mate.

- A girl on each arm.
- Yeah?

- Captain sandy gave you
sh-- about your hair?

- I can't be doing
my hair every day.

- You have to.
- What?

With a hair dryer and a brush?
No chance.

- Just a brush.
You have to, bud.

- My hair's always been
a mess, I'll be honest.

But I've worked on ships
in the engine room,

so it's never been an issue.

- It has to be proper, bud.

- Like what's proper, though?

Clean? Slick?

I'm not having it slick!

- Just do it on the top
just so it looks good.

- Just business at the front,
party at the back?

- Yes.

- So like this?
Go like that?

- Yes, like that.

[ bleep ], you're impossible.

- I'm used to being
third stew who's just like,

"what are we doing today?"

I need shoes!

And I'm like, "oh, [bleep],
I need to write a menu."

- what's mila doing?
- I have no idea where she is.

- So we don't know
where the chef is.

No idea?
- No.

- And we've got one chance
to redeem ourselves.

- Can you help me, please,
to bring this one?

I'm kind of being
tolerant with anastasia.

My jacket, my galley,

but my tolerance
is not limitless.

- What is this?
Why are you giving me this?

- Mila gave me those.
- Why?

- I don't know.
Is she making them?

- She's not making
anything, so...

Oh, my god.

Um, mila?
What is this for?

- Oh, that's just something
I want to cook.

- Well, I'm getting stressed out

because I'm just trying
to make some space.

And this sh-- just keeps

- Thank you.
- Look at that.

- Beautiful.

- I gotta take a
picture of this.

- Are those tomatoes,
fresh tomatoes?

- What a great restaurant.
- Excellent.

- Good stuff.
- Delicious.

[ cell phone rings ]

- hi, colin.

- Hey, what's going on?

- Nothing much.
How are you?

- In the ferry world, you know,

you work with whoever for
those eight to 10 hours a day.

And get to go home, hang out
with your friends and family.

Yachting, you're
thrown into random people

that you don't really know.

- Oh, it's so good
to hear your voice.

- Oh, you too.

It's something I just
have to get used to.

- Bye, colin.
- All right, bye-bye.

- So nice here.

There's no wind,
I can see the boat.

I don't know if
putting anastasia

in the galley is a solution.

It's a massive jump
from third stew to chef.

And I hope anastasia doesn't
crack under pressure.

We're gonna have a
good meal tonight.

----Ing no.

- Coming up...

- I'm gonna go skinny dipping.
- We gotta take this off.

- Here you go.

- Nothing like feeling water
all over your peen.

- Wow.
- And later...

- Managing the staff,
dealing with all our concerns

and then we were
talking about the food.

- I feel like throwing up.

- Oh, this isn't
too bad, actually.

Oh, my nuggets can't get
any tighter right now.

- Oh, yeah.
I lost my ball sack!


- What is the yellow lime?

- Coconut tiramisu.
- Lemony.

- Have you got a skirt for me?
I'd rock it.

- I'm sure you would.

If you want to just
wipe it down...

- Yes, everything.
- In here, yeah.

- I need those dishes
to be washed.

I need this trash
to be taken out first.

- Okay.

- You know, having to deal
with mila's incompetence,

I feel like we're all
just doing the time

for someone else's crime.

Gosh, what a morning.

- Hopefully, that's
conditioner on the floor.

- Oh, god, you never know
with this group, do you?

- Do we have tomato paste?

The dish is italian,
but the meatball recipe

is actually my mom's.

I don't know if it's georgian,
but she's georgian.

So I guess
they're georgian balls.

----Ing anastasia
giving instructions,

I would never expect.

[ chuckles ]

I would be the one also getting
instructions from her.

I feel like throwing up.

- Oh, what'd I do wrong?

- Nothing, ----ing...
It's just such...Hmm.

[ laughs ]
- oh, god.

- Joao, you're not even drunk.

- Brooke and I's
breakup wasn't clean.

And being able to open up to
hannah is extremely surprising.

- Ew!

- That was smooth,
that was smooth.

One of the guests said,
"why don't hannah and joao

give it up and just
[bleep] it off?"

[ laughs ]

- what is peoples'
obsession with that?

- Tonight mila
is my sous chef.

She can help me make
a simple salad,

but that's about the extent
that it's gonna go to.

Because if I'm gonna be
the chef, I can't take a risk.

- Deck crew?
Deck crew?

Can you please come
collect us at the dock?

- Copy.

- Bye. Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

- Thank you.
It was very good.

- Au revoir.

- Mila, do you think you could
see if this has enough salt?

A little bit more.
- A little bit more salt?

- The food was great, right?
- Yeah.

- How was lunch?
- Really good.

- Very good, thank you.

- Really beautiful,
really special.

- I'm a vegan, but I still
try everything I make.

As a chef, you have to make sure
that everything tastes good.

They're good.
They're spiced well.

- You mean this one?
- Yes.

- How did you try it?
- I spit it out.

- Oh, okay.
Jesus, this ----ing vegan.

- Yeah, it's good because
my sauce is very simple.

And these have a nice flavor.

- Damn it!

- Can I get you anything?
- Yeah.

- Sure thing.
- We've decided...

- Aw, thanks!

- Whose phone is that?

- Who's tinder? Woo?
- That's mine.

- Margaritas?
- Thank you so much.

- My pleasure.
- What's your bio?

- Yeah, what's your...Come on.
- Small dick, big heart.

[ laughs ]

- okay.
If you don't have fun, you die.

Keep passionate about, laugh
my little a-cup tits off,

and stranger danger.

- How many matches
does that get you?

- About 17 a year.

- I like the odds of that!
- Yeah.

- I've never really thought
that I needed anyone.

Ideal scenario is just
in the old peoples' home.

Me and the lads, just
bunch of wheelchairs

just ----ing about nonstop.

Did you ever have
a stranger danger as a kid?

- Yeah. My code word
is snuffleuffagus.

- That's what you'd say
if you ever felt in danger?

- Yes.
I said, "mom, I'm 29, all right?

Enough. I'm a big boy now."

- dinner's at nine.

We gonna do a black
and gold theme?

Black tie formal.

- I'll be back at like eight,
so then we've got an hour.

- Go have a nap.

[ chuckles ]

- vegan.
- Vegan?

- Vegan.

- All crew! All crew!

Dinner is down in
the crew mess.

- What would each of you
say at my funeral?

- Oh, my god!

What the [bleep] are you
saying right now?

- I wanna know how
fabulous I am.

- All good, bud?
- Yep. You can turn off.

- Hey, how are you?

- I'm all right.

A good old cry in the shower
always fixes things.

[ chuckles ]
- yeah. I'm sorry.

- Yeah, that's fine.

- You're a good person.

You did nothing wrong,

- Having never trusted anyone

and then giving that trust,

that's the hard part.

[ chuckles ]

- it's okay.

You should...You're got to
feel it, joao, you know.

Go have your cry again
because that's healing.

- As much as I can try and hide
how I feel about brooke,

unfortunately sometimes
I can't bottle my emotions.

And when it comes to someone
I can trust, I do.

I open up.

It's all right.
I'll learn...

- You can trust me.
- I know.

[ laughs ]

- we're not gonna sleep
together, but you can trust me.

- I'm so privileged and
humbled by working

with captain sandy again.

She reminds me of my mum.

It's just, yeah.

- I'm here any time.

- I appreciate that, honestly.
I know that. Thank you.

[ chuckles ]
- I love you.

- Thank you, sandy.
- You're welcome.

- Coming up...

And sandy doesn't either.

- Could you just go and
pop those deck towels

in the wash for me?

- Yes.
- Thank you.

- Can we do this on a piece
together like really fast?

- Yes.

- And I want you to get
a bunch of candles

and scatter them around kind
of like we did last time.

We gucci.

- ? yeah ?

- where are my earrings?
- I'll get 'em.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Tonight I want to keep
aesha in the cabin.

- Yep.

- So if you guys
could do service with me...

- No problem.
- That would really help.

- No worries.

- But it's actually worth trying
to keep her down there...

- No, no...Just kidding.

- And take you boys
a lot longer...

As it does with
everything with boys.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was gonna say.

- What's happening? I didn't
hear any of that sh--.

- We got service.
Who's on from 9 until 10:30?

- I'm on until 11.
Me and jack can do it.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Um, you're not eating
with them tonight, are you?

- No, I am.
- Oh, you are?

- Yeah.

- Do you have white pepper?

- I don't think so.

- Sandy's eating with them.

- Ugh! Ah!

I can't do anything
about her dietary requirements

at this point.
I've already cooked everything.

It's just another
person to judge me

who also happens
to be my boss.

- Okay.

- Should I fling on down
to the cabins now then?

- Yes.

- I'll see you when
I get admitted into

the psychiatric ward.
- Okay.

- After my stint down there.

- Bye.

- I think this is beautiful.

- No, I don't think so.
I want it to be different.

- There's the man
of the hour now.

- Look at those beautiful boys!

- Now we've got anastasia
in the galley.

That means I'm down
in the cabins

and I hate cabins so much.

I'm the people master.

I try sometimes.
They don't talk back.

- Beautiful.

- Um, are you doing
the foam now?

They're not seated, hey?

- Okay. It'll stay.
- Okay, cool.

- Cheers!
To our fabulous friends.

- I can't wait to get these
----ing people--

- I see that.
It's angering me.

I'm so ----ing
annoyed right now.

- The foam is already down.

Anatasia's panicked.

- Oh, my god!

- Wine service is done.
On the way down.

- Great.

- We've got to start
bringing these.

Hey, we need someone
to help run!

- To start with, you have a beef
carpaccio with horseradish foam,

parmesan crisp and
hawaiian black salt.

Bon appetit.

- Hey, hannah.
Sorry, I don't eat raw meat.

- No? Okay.
- Okay, thank you.

- Horseradish.

- No?
- Sorry.

You don't have to eat it.
Don't eat it.

- Don't eat it if
you don't want to.

- Here you go, honey.

- We're gonna go beef,
salad, beef.

- Whatever.
- Here's the salad.

Put this on top.
Or no, put the salad...

Sandy doesn't either.

- Carpaccio is a staple
of italian cuisine.

And that's what they
all put down, so...

- This is a culinary experience.

- Well, they can have salad,
so that'll be fine then.

- Yeah.

- If they don't like my food,
then that's on them.

- Are you all done?

- Yes, thank you.

- Did you like it?
- That's pretty good.

- That's the approval I need.

- Oh!

- Plates are ready.
- Sweet.

- Ladies first at the table.
And in life.

- What do we have, hannah?

- Your second course
this evening,

you have a romaine salad with
a lemon dijon vinaigrette

and shaved parmesan.
- Mmm.

- It's really good.
- It's really good.

The dressing is...

- I'm so proud of you.

- Yeah.

- Hannah, how far are they
with their salad?

- We've got five out of the
eight that have finished eating.

- All right, I'm gonna go.

Can somebody come and help
me run plates, please?

Just make them look nice.

[ whistles ]

- spinning them.

- I need you guys
to please be quiet.

I'm trying to concentrate.

- Anastasia throwing her weight
around in the galley.

Quite attractive, the girl
who bosses me around.

- I'm all done.
- Come with me, please?

- Mains are ready to go.

- Can I help?
- Yes.

- Yes?
- They can?

- Thank you, guys.
My heart's...

- If she wants to serve
the dry meatballs,

yeah, go for it.

- Look at that beautiful.

- Thank you.

- For your main course,

it's a classic italian
meatballs with spaghetti.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Enjoy.

- Now it's really gonna go down

because I am a
big meatball critic.

- She's a meatball expert.

- Oh, I'm a...
Oh, yeah.

- It's not groundbreaking having
spaghetti and meatballs.

I am nervous about every meal
that comes out of that galley.

- Coming up...

- Do you have a
little thing for jack?

- I like watching him.

- Want me to help
you put it in?

- I think I'm more attracted
to him as a brother.

- You're not supposed to
be attracted

to your brothers, right?

- Now it's really gonna go down

because I am a
big meatball critic!

- She's a meatball expert.

- Oh, I'm a...Oh, yeah.

- Perfecto!
Compliments to the chef.

- Well done, chef!

- Let me tell you,
very, very good.

- Whoa! Yes!
- Wow.

- Mikey likes it!

- Anastasia and mila work
well together in the galley,

and the guests are happy.

It's like, oh, my gosh,
thank you.

- All right, guys, this is
how we're gonna do this.

This dessert is in three parts.

I'm gonna have you guys
run the ice cream up.

I need to do something that
I know is gonna taste good.

So for dessert,
I am making affogato.

And it's like a little
bit of smoke and mirrors

because it's interactive.
The guests get to pour things.

Those are good to go.

You know, like a wizard, be
distracted by its simplicity.

- Delicious meatballs.

- Thank you.

- Espresso. Nice.

- Tonight for dessert,
we have affogato.

An affogato is a chocolate
gelato with a shot of espresso.

And I've added
a shot of grand marnier.

- Are you sure
you're not italian?

- Not italian.

- Are you sure
you're not italian?

- Forget about it!

[ laughs ]

enjoy, guys.

- I'm gonna get
my dance on.

- This is very good,
the best part of the meal.

- I love this.
- Mm-hmm.

- This dessert is really good.

- You ----ing knocked it
out of the park today.

- You did too, babe.
Thank you so much.

If I was in mila's position,
I wouldn't really be happy

to have someone else coming
in to help me do my job.

And I've gotta say
she's definitely taking it

in her stride, which means
she's either really patient

or she's used to it.

- How are things going outside?

- Good. Yes.
- Yeah?

- Are you feeling
a bit homesick yet?

- Oh, a little bit.

- Yes. It's normal.

I say I don't feel it anymore,

but that's 'cause it's
like nine years later...

- Well, you've done
it forever, yeah.

That's crazy.

- Kids, we're dancing outside.

- We're going to bed?

- Oh, there you go!

- I think they
enjoyed their dinner.

- What the [bleep]
are you doing right now?

- I'm gonna go skinny dipping.
- Don't go swimming away.

Otherwise, I'd have to jump
in and save your ass.

- Oh, easy-peasy, mate.

- Oh, it's so good!

- Everybody likes
skinny dipping.

It's a ----ing universal love.

Nothing like feeling
nice smooth salty water

all over your peen.

Good stuff.

- I'm going.

- We gotta take this off.

- Getting back to
nature a little bit.

- Come on, colleen.

- She's in shape
for an old bird.


- They don't wear pants
in south France!

- Wow.

- We're going to have
so much fun tomorrow.

- Don't think like that.
Think positive.

- Woo!

- Here you go, bud.

- We're going to have
a great night.

- Aw, [bleep]!

- Oh.

- Morning.

- It's not part of
my nature to give up.

So, what?
Like a russian person,

I'm supposed to sit and
cry about this now or what?

You have to adapt
to different things.

So I don't see it as a problem.

- How are you this morning?
- Morning. Bon journo.

Where's everyone?
Are we the first two?

- Hey!
- Yes, we are.

- I feel like tonight's
just gonna be like

a yelling fest at mila.

- I just know that.

- I do this thing.

I get two starbursts and I stick

a couple of
sour patch kids in between.

It's delicious.

So if there are any
struggles with dessert.

- That movement, hey?

- Good morning.
- Hi.

- Is that your pancake batter?
- Yeah.

- It's way too thin.
- No, it's the russian pancake.

- Oh.
- What are russian pancakes?

- Like french crepe...

- Like a french crepe,
but it's...

- A russian flour.
- Yes.

- Okay.

- Take command.
- Port wing. Okay.

- Test your bow thruster.
- Bow thruster to port.

Deck crew? Deck crew?
You can start hauling anchor.

- Copy that.
- These are russian pancakes.

- They are good.
Yeah, good.

- There are people who were
born to be natural leaders.

Joao is that person.

I'm very excited to see
where he can go in his life.

Because I know how hungry he is

and how grateful he is
for every experience.

- Anchor home.

- Copy switching
from wing to bridge.

- It is beautiful
out there today.

Oh, my god.

- Perfect.
- I'm sad we're leaving.

- That baby's done.

- Colin, you're next on this.

- Yeah, I need a little steam.
- All about the steam, me.

- Woo, baby!
Now it's a party!

- That is a lot better,
isn't it?

[ imitating drum machine ]

- you're really gonna
enjoy that drink later, boys.

- Oh, yes.

- I think the only saving grace

will be that
it's sandy's friends.

- Yeah.

- And I wouldn't like, honestly,
if they'd left us nothing...

- You think she might get fired?

- Yes.

- Look at her in action.

- Drop those two.

- Let's make frank jealous.
- What's better than this?

- Mimosas?

- We have 70 on our port
to the breakwater.

Captain sandy, you are clear
to start swinging to port.

- Great. Thank you.

- We are 10 from our dock.

Five meters to the dock.
- I need more.

- One meter to the dock
on our port quarter.

- Great job calling it, joao.

- Thank you, captain sandy.

- Well done, everyone.

All crew? All crew?
To the dock.

- Thank you.
- Thank you!

- You guys were great.

- Thank you so much.
- Bye, frank.

- Bye.
- I love you.

- I love you.
- Thank you so much.

I was so impressed to see
you managing the staff,

dealing with all our concerns.

And the boys, all three of them
were in the water

helping, teaching, engaging.

That was fun.

Then we were talking
about the food.

And then last night I saw you
real time during our charter,

make changes that made the
experience so much better.

- Whatever.

- Let me give you that.
- I'll miss you.

I'll miss you so much.
- Bye. Bye, guys.

- Have a safe trip.
- Thank you.

- All right, everyone.
Back to work.

Let's turn it around.

- Cover's on, men.

All covers on so we can rush.

- I'm gonna start vacuuming.
- Okay.

- Leave this side undone in
case we come back tonight.

But you can't bring any
loose strangers

that you find along the way.

- Why would I need
loose strangers

when we've got a loose crew?

- I'm just so excited
for tonight.

- Are you?
- Yeah.

- Do you have a
little thing for jack?

- No!

- Not even like a drunk
make-out thing for jack?

- I like watching him
'cause he's so entertaining.

- Come on, you [bleep].
- Want me to help you put it in?

[ chuckles ]

- I think I'm more attracted
to him as a brother.

- You're not supposed to be
attracted to your brothers.

- You know what I mean!

- I know it's new zealand
and it's a small island.

- All crew? All crew?

Meet in the main salon
for our tip meeting.

- Charter two.
We made it.

Obviously, we all know we were
challenged in the galley.

Deck team, thank you
for your diligence on deck

and on the swim platform.


Hannah, you're doing
an amazing job

and I want to
thank you for that.

- Thanks, sandy.

- Anastasia, I loved
the dessert last night.

It was amazing.
It was delicious.

Well done.

Okay, so the combination
of everything that happened,

this is why this is so great.

It's $18,000.
Isn't that great?

I did not expect this tip.

$1,430 per person.
It's a nice tip!

- I thought
we were gonna get like $500.

Yay! Thanks!
- Thank you very much.

- That's it.
All right, thank you.

- [bleep], yes.

I can't help but feel that
it's because our team

really pulled it together,

and it wasn't just
based on the chef.

Cheers, boys.

- That is not what
we were gonna get.

- They did not need
to leave a tip like that.

- I'm just kind of sitting
there wondering

who would accept their tip

when they almost singlehandedly
----ed up the entire charter.

- Can I come hang out?

- Yes, please.
- Yeah.

Don't you ----ing fart!
I will...

- Oh, it's right there!
----Ing can't push it out!

Oh, sh--. Oh, wait!

[ farts ]
- oh!

- You're so disgusting!

You're like the dirtiest bitch
I've ever met in my life!

- Do you mind just popping that
in the bosun's locker for me?

- Yep.

- You know, no matter how
many times I come to mila,

she's always,
"yes, captain."

she always has that
respect for me.

Mila, please come up
to the bridge.

[ vocalizing ]

- we need a new chef.

We've all worked really
----ing hard to help her.

- Your attitude has
been amazing.

You have passion in the galley.
I could see it.

- Of course I do. Yeah.
- Of course you do.

Every time I walk in the galley,
it's a pleasure.

- I've been on boats
where the food was great,

but I had problems
with the captain.

And maybe I thought there is

something wrong with
my personality.

But hearing from captain sandy
say that I have

a great personality
is very pleasant.

I really want to show you the
third charter that I can do it.

- Right now, to find a chef,

considering it's like midseason,
it's very difficult.

I don't have a backup,
but if I don't have a chef,

I don't have a charter.

What do you do?

- Next on "below deck med"...

- That's some serious wind.

- I'm scared!
I'm so scared.

- Jack and aesha suit each

They're both classy as [bleep].

- You know, right now I'm just
now really fitting in with them.

Come on, bro.
- I will shortly.

- I heard someone in
the deck crew actually cooks.

Do you think that you could
do the charter season as chef?

- You okay?

Oh, my god!

- Oh [ bleep ] me!

- Captain.
The anchor's on deck.

- Holy sh--.