Being Human (2008–2013): Season 4, Episode 8 - The War Child - full transcript
Cutler greets the Old Ones led by Snow as Annie tells Alex and the boys of her meeting with Eve,who asked her to kill her. She says that she cannot and destroys Cutler when he comes to the house to harm the baby girl. Tom plans to kill the Old Ones by means of a suicide bomb,a fact which becomes known to Milo,a werewolf who is part of Snow's entourage and whom Tom rebuffs,just as Hal refuses Snow's offer to join him in his conquest of the world. Hal and Tom visit the vampires' lair with the baby,latterly joined by Annie. Snow tells her that he wants Eve but has no intention of killing her,merely keeping her hidden as she is the figurehead of resistance. As a consequence it is down to Annie to take the drastic action needed to save civilisation and to shape her own destiny. In a coda Mr Rook,leader of the men who disposed of Alex's corpse,also brings the filmed evidence of Tom's transformation into a werewolf to a vault for tidying away.
I'm really dead, aren't I? This is
all actually happening. Come with me.
How do you make humans love vampires?
You show them something worse?
I was protected all my life
and humanity fell.
What is it that you want me to do?
Kill me.
The Old Ones are going to be
here any day now.
To stop them, we might have to do
terrible things.
What choice do we have?
You're welcome. You're welcome!
Who's hungry?
Do you know who I am?
I was in the area, as they say.
What about you, Isaac Daniels?
Why are you in the area?
We're on our way back
from seeing my father.
He's in one of the resettlement
camps in London West.
Do you know what tomorrow is?
Of course, sir.
11th April. Ten years ago tomorrow,
you killed the prime minister live
on television.
He was appealing for calm.
He looked so pale.
His tie was askew.
We've got parades planned, curfews,
executions, so...
a curious day to go visiting
relatives.
Don't you think?
My father's sick.
There's a letter there
from his medical officer,
along with our identification papers
and our internal travel visas.
I just wanted Zoe to see her
grandfather
one last time before he passes.
Zoe.
She's my daughter.
She's 11. She was born before the
pregnancy embargo.
Is she the one in the car?
She looks exhausted, poor poppet.
It's been a long day.
Well, I won't detain you any longer.
Oh, one last question.
Your daughter...
What colour are her eyes?
Come, Mr Daniels.
It's hardly a complex question.
What colour are your daughter's eyes?
You don't remember, do you?
I daresay when the other agent
handed her over with her fake papers,
you looked her up and down and
thought,
"Is this what all the fuss is about?
"This is the War Child?"
But the one thing you didn't take in
was the colour of her eyes.
And, now, of course, you're thinking
that you've taken too long to reply,
so, instead, you're calculating
the chances of fighting your way out
and which of us to disable first.
You won't win, you know!
I think we already have.
Humanity will survive somehow.
You can't kill us all.
I don't intend to.
You're delicious.
Run, Eve, run!
Follow her at a distance.
Make sure she reaches
her rendezvous safely.
She's a very precious cargo.
Be seeing you, Eve.
Why am I still here?
Does everyone just become a ghost
for a wee bit?
No.
No, you must have unfinished
business.
Something we must resolve,
before you can pass over.
Well, we can poke around my business
later.
First, I want to beat seven shades
of shite out of Cutler.
Hey, maybe that is my unfinished
business?
Unfinished business tends to be
something
more life-affirming
than beating someone up.
Not if you're Scottish.
She's right.
We get Cutler. First we try the
docks.
If he ain't there, we go to his
office.
But we don't stop until we find him.
Um... I'm just going to
go and sit in the van for a bit.
You're her first werewolf. We
forget. It's a lot to process.
I ain't never felt frightening
before.
Thank you.
I could've killed all those people.
I could've killed you.
Alex got the people out.
I just lured you into the van.
I can't believe I let it happen!
I'm always dead stealthy
with my transformations.
I've taken a step backwards too.
I've been drinking blood.
The first time was genuinely to gain
Cutler's trust, Tom, the second
wasn't.
Where are you now?
Leo once said that we were on the
outside of humanity so that we might
guard it.
He made it sound like a privilege,
rather than a burden.
I don't think any of us deserve that
job any more.
Then we must earn it back.
And you are?
Er, Cutler.
Nick Cutler.
There was no-one here to greet us,
Cutler, Nick Cutler.
We... We weren't sure
when you were arriving. It's been...
I'm all that's left. Everyone else
ran away or got proper dead.
How?
Werewolves.
We had a bit of an infestation.
Do you hear that, Milo?
Your brothers have been causing a
rumpus.
So...
You're the last man standing?
A tribute must be paid, nonetheless.
I last came to Britain
in 1779.
My people took me to a village.
They'd killed all the adults
and used the bodies to create a
tableau of scenes from our history.
The children sang to me.
And then we made wine from their
blood.
I was so touched.
What do you have for me, Cutler,
Nick Cutler?
Ooh.
Only the world.
I was planning just to take the
world.
I didn't realise I needed you
to give it to me.
Oh. Something to ease the transition
then.
OK. Advances in technology have
given humanity
the means to coordinate and marshal
their forces in a way they never
could before.
But, more than that, they're so used
to having the run of the place,
I don't think they'll
capitulate... What's the matter?
He's here.
And taking the world by force
may entail decimating
a significant part of
our future food stocks.
But what if we could make them
welcome us?
Is that even possible?
We have to get out of here!
Yes.
By presenting them with something
worse.
Worse than me?
Well...
Not worse, of course, but something
less elegant, perhaps.
Werewolves.
What was that, you little fuck?
What are we doing?
Please, just keep moving.
Who was that guy? Big cheese guy?
He's called Mr Snow.
And he's the very worst thing
in the world.
Why are we running away? Did he see
you?
I wouldn't be here if he had!
Why, cos he'd have killed you?
No!
Because he'd have told me to join
him and I would.
Nice to know.
You don't understand.
Snow was one of the first.
The blood that's passed from vampire
to recruit, generation after
generation,
you can trace it back to him.
He's in our DNA.
We have to get away from here.
But we were gonna get Cutler?
Cutler doesn't matter any more.
Well, maybe not to you.
God's sake!
Mr Snow is here.
That changes everything.
The longer I stay here,
the more chance there is of me...
of him finding me.
Last night, humanity saw the
beginning of the end of its reign.
Welcome to Britain, Mr Snow.
The revolution is being televised.
Judging by this, we'd be doing them
a favour.
In 2001,
William chose to study geography...
Am I missing something?
Is he giving me a television set?
I don't understand.
Someone must have reported it.
Because I already have a television
the size of a bed sheet.
They must be suppressing it somehow.
There were witnesses!
Witnesses to what?
I had a werewolf,
I let him loose in a nightclub,
I saw them filming him.
The world would've found out about
them, they would've been terrified,
they'd want us to save them.
Thanks to you, breweries the world
over are safe from piss-ups.
But I've been working on this!
My own blood.
It'll sting.
A tribute must still be paid, Cutler,
Nick Cutler.
It's a question of protocol.
Or there'll be consequences.
The War Child. The
human saviour, the child from the
myth - she's here.
I know where they're hiding her. I
could go there now and I could kill
her for you.
No-one touches that child.
But the skin parchments
say she'll destroy vampires.
That's the final piece.
Death of the Godhead.
Humanity lives.
What?
To save humanity,
she must be killed.
And, therefore, she must live.
But we didn't know.
These eyes have looked upon pharaohs
and the son of the carpenter.
And, now, they must look at you...
proudly showing me your idea,
like a child with a handful
of its own excrement.
I have never known humiliation,
failure or obscurity.
How does it make you feel?
Like coming home, I imagine.
I've already forgotten your name.
My name's Cutler.
I'll make sure you remember that!
You're nothing but a relic.
I'll make sure you remember my name!
Oh, yeah, meant to say. Annie's back.
Where have you been?!
To the future.
Annie, the Old Ones have arrived.
We saw them at the warehouse.
Yeah, Eve said they'd be here soon.
Eve's been here the whole time.
Grown-up Eve.
She died an adult.
She travelled back through purgatory
to find me,
because there was something
I needed to know.
She took me into her corridor...
"Took me into her corridor"!
Sorry, misjudged the mood.
Who is that?
Um, this is Alex.
THAT drank my blood.
It had to happen, I guess.
I saw it in the future,
what happens to all of us.
Where I go.
How Tom dies.
And how you...
Revert...
to what I once was?
So much worse.
Each time it tends to amplify.
But this was a momentary blip,
nothing more.
What a minute...
Baby Eve took you to the future?
That's crackers.
Before Mitchell could bring me back
from purgatory,
he had to revisit moments from his
past.
The places that Eve took me
were moments from her past,
just moments that hadn't happened to
us.
Yet.
I had to see... how terrible
the future is...
because what I have to do to stop
it is really, really hard.
Eve must die.
It's the last part of the myth.
Eve saves humanity...
by dying.
Does the Nemesis...
Whoever it is with the burn,
is that who kills her?
She is the Nemesis.
She has the burn.
I'm just... the weapon.
Right, first off,
we need to get her out of here.
This is not a group decision.
I saw the future. Me. And Eve made
it very clear that if she lives,
then I'm responsible and nobody
else.
You don't believe it, do you?
I don't know! Everything else
on that bloody parchment's come
true!
Annie.
Are you saying you might hurt Eve?
How could you even say that to me?
I could never, ever hurt a child!
But if someone else tried to harm
her...
what would you do then?
Jesus.
OK, look.
If we can concentrate our energies
on destroying the Old Ones,
perhaps we can remove Eve
from the equation entirely.
We blow 'em up.
Of course, brilliant.
Do vampires die if you blow them up?
Most things die, if you blow them
up.
Sadly we can't, what with us, ha,
not living in a cartoon.
Well, actually, Mr bloody Radio 4,
we can.
And I'll show you how. My
team, with me.
Look, I'm still not comfortable
leaving them alone together.
We could take Eve with us.
To your explosives workshop?!
No way. Uh-uh.
Eve needs protecting.
Yeah, but by me?!
I'm dead.
Yet I've never met anyone so
unaffected by their own mortality.
You've got one hour.
By which time, I'll have worked out
whether that was a dig or not.
What do you think? I've been putting
a bit aside every day.
It's the cooking oil?
You can make explosives
out of cooking oil?
Well, there's a bit more to it than
that.
What's all that junk you've been
gathering?
You didn't really think I was
building a swimming pool in the back
garden, did you?
How long have you been planning
this?!
Not really been planning anything.
Just picked it up off McNair.
Always be kind and polite
and have the materials to build a
bomb.
So, what do we do?
We make 'em.
Then I strap 'em to myself, walk into
the vampires' nest and set 'em off.
Need to get some more bits. Pass us
the order pad, I'll write 'em down
for you.
Wait a minute.
Tom... then you'll get blown up too.
Well, I don't know how to build a
remote detonator. McNair always did
'em.
I just knocked out the explosives.
Tom!
Well, what else do we do?!
Even you said, if we target the Old
Ones, we take Eve out of the
abrasion.
You really are one of the most
remarkable people I've ever met.
All right, calm down!
Let me come too.
Well, then, you'll cop it and all.
I've had a good innings.
What if Mr Snow tells you not to?
Then... you must bring matters
to a swift conclusion.
I didn't think you liked shaking
hands?
Well, today is a day of firsts.
And lasts.
So...
Make-up!
What do you use?
Avon?
Do they still make Avon?
And shoes!
Ha! Got to love shoes!
What's your favourite... shoe?
God, I love your...
woolly...
welly... th...
Oh, I have no idea
what I am talking about.
I've spent the last seven years
with four smelly men.
I've completely forgotten
how to talk to other women.
Don't worry.
Look,
I'll be out of your hair soon
enough.
When Hal gets back,
we're gonna go and do my...
unfinished business thing
and then I...
climb through a magic window,
or something.
Do you have any idea what it might
be?
He thinks it's about someone
finding my body,
giving my family closure.
What about you? You're still here.
What's your unfinished business?
I think my unfinished business ship
has sailed.
I think I'm here to stay. I think...
I think that they're scared of me.
"They"?
They're the men with sticks and
ropes. I saw them when I died.
Thought they were evil morris
dancers.
What are they?
Your basic agents for the afterlife,
but...
they're all bluff.
I mean, just stay... stay frosty,
and you'll be fine.
How'm I doing? You know, girl talk?
Yeah. You're doing fine.
Well, you're just like a bloke,
really.
Well, a bloke with tits.
Or, to put it another way, my dad!
Great!
Well, hopefully, Hal and you will
get your body back to your family
and that'll be that. But, um...
just in case you're here for a
while,
why don't I teach you some of the
tricks of the ghost trade, hmm?
Come on. I think we could both
do with the distraction.
Right, nearly done!
All we need are those two
rucksacks...
It's Tom, isn't it?
What do you want?
Well, I suppose a bacon sandwich
is out of the question?
Kitchen's closed, mate.
Really?
Cos you're cooking something back
there.
Is that...
muriatic acid?
And peroxide?
Tom...
What are you up to?
Let's start again. I'm Milo.
I think you saw me at the warehouse.
And I think I saw you.
We need to talk about Eve.
Now, Tom, it's very important
that you answer this question.
Is she safe?
I'm not telling you where she is.
I didn't ask you that.
I asked if she was safe.
She's with her mum.
But is it secure there?
Do you really think
she's the humans' saviour?
Are you being sponsored
to avoid answering my question?
Whether she is or not is immaterial.
The vampires believe it.
Now, Tom, can Eve's mum protect her?
You need to give her to us.
To me and the vampires.
Why would I do that?
Cos once the other werewolves, the
ghosts, any vampires with human
sympathies,
once they find out Eve's death
is the key to humanity's survival,
they'll fall on that house like a
plague.
And even you
won't be able to fight them all off.
Well, maybe I've already got a plan.
Oh, yeah.
Your home economics bomb. Or I'll
run away. Look after her myself.
They'll find you
and they'll kill you both.
What are you doing, hanging around
with a load of vampires?
Because there's nothing noble
about being on the side that loses.
I bet you support Manchester United
as well, don't you?
You know, they're an incredibly
skilful team...
Do you know what vampires do to
us? They don't do it to me.
They will.
Then I'll review the situation.
How can you look at yourself
in the mirror?!
There's not much call for mirrors
in our bit of Bolivia.
There's one in the back.
Go and have a look, I dare you.
It's simple survival, Tom.
You find the biggest kid
in the playground...
and you stand next to him.
I didn't know cowards
had their own school.
You have no idea what I had to do
to be accepted by them.
So you can call me an opportunist,
you can even call me a traitor...
but never, EVER call me a coward.
Kill her, keep her, hand her over.
I'll survive whatever you do.
I'm telling you this as a...
favour, from one werewolf
to another.
Everyone in the world
wants that baby dead.
Except the vampires.
Yes!
Ah, you learn quickly, Skywalker.
I thank you.
Rentaghosting's still my favourite
though.
Oh... What's the biggest thing
you've ever Rentaghosted with?
Er, hey, listen.
This is not a party trick. This is
an invaluable defensive weapon.
An armchair.
OK, I know.
But, listen, you cannot Rentaghost
with a living thing.
That's the only rule.
Shit! That's him!
That's the vampire that killed me.
Oh, OK. Um...
I want you to go upstairs and wait
in one of the rooms until...
Well, until it's all over.
And what are you going to do?
I, um...
I don't know.
That looks a lot easier in films.
Hey.
Didn't I kill you?
Believe me, I'm as surprised that
we're having this conversation as
you are.
Ask me in.
No, I can't.
I can't.
Ask me in!
Argh!
Argh!
Annie!
Please, Annie, do something!
Argh!
Annie, let him.
Please, let him do this.
Who's that?
Argh!
Oh, my God.
OK, I don't really know
what I am talking about here,
but apparently the baby needs to
stay alive for the vampires to do
their thing,
so, you hurt her and you will get
struck by lightning or fall down a
well.
Something. I know.
Right, good.
What?
The baby dies, the vampires die.
That's why I'm here.
I tried to help, but you wouldn't
even let me explain.
Annie, let him do it, please!
No!
Please, this has to happen.
I always knew I'd make history.
Least no-one will forget me now.
You know, I...
I should say something.
I am signing the death warrant
for my entire species.
I should mark the occasion somehow.
So...
This is how it ends...
This is what it was all for.
No!
Annie, no!
Annie, what have you done?
Oh, God, Eve! I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry!
Shh, shh!
I'm so sorry.
Shh, shh! Shh.
I'm sorry.
Sorry? Annie, you saved her!
No. No, you don't understand.
I've betrayed you all.
I'd rather let the world burn
than hurt her.
I let the vampires win
and I'm always gonna let them win.
You, er...
You need to get Hal.
And find your body.
And pass on, because things are
going to get very bad, very, very
quickly.
Trust me.
Trust me, you don't want to be here
for what happens next.
Tell me something.
Am I totally invisible?
What are you doing?!
You're supposed to be looking after
Eve.
Fine. Annie had a change of heart.
Cutler came back to kill Eve
and Annie kebab-ed him.
What, Cutler's dead?
If we nipped back to my caravan now,
where my family are, would they see
me?
Cos I would really like to get
a change of clothes.
I mean, I wore them for our date,
which, frankly,
was a mixed success.
Are you OK?
Yes, sorry.
It's just there was a time
when Cutler and I were friends.
Thin ice, Hal. Hm?
Thin... ice.
You can't change clothes.
Ghosts are stuck in whatever they
died in.
I'm stuck like this?
For ever?!
But I look like a girl!
OK, OK.
That's it. We are finding my body
and I am totally passing over.
The policeman said there was a bomb
scare.
No mention of werewolves, no panic.
All very routine and unexciting.
Have they found my body?
I don't understand. Cutler
wouldn't have prepared a cover
story.
He was too sure his plan would work.
It's like somebody's tidying this
up. Hal.
Did you ask about my body?
No. I thought that might have looked
a little suspicious.
They can't arrest you
for asking a question.
No, but it would imply I was
involved.
You were involved.
Tangentially. I was involved
tangentially.
You weren't drinking my blood
"tangentially"!
How many times
are you going to bring that up?!
I don't know, I mean, you're the
expert. What's the usual amount, hm?
Anyway...
There was no mention of a body.
Well, we should go and have a look.
You can Rentaghost in. What about
me?
I can't just walk past the
policemen.
Cutler took me in
through a different door.
Come on.
Before anyone finds me, can you
do something with my body, please?
Um... like...
take away all those tubes and stuff?
I don't want my family to think that
it was any more brutal and weird as
it was.
So, um... what do we do next?
Alert the police.
That will begin the process
and, if that completes your
business, your door will appear.
Shit.
They must have heard us.
Turn off the lights.
Certainly a little neater
than we're used to.
Shall we say 45 seconds, gentlemen?
Sir?
37 seconds.
Very deft, gentlemen, very deft.
But let's not dally.
I think we've got company.
Who the hell were they?!
I've no idea.
But they weren't vampires,
or they'd have seen you.
You should follow them.
What if my door comes?
I'll stall it.
I thought it was a momentary blip.
Your cafe is cleaner
than most operating theatres
and yet, here you are,
licking congealed blood off a floor.
Is that the hold it has over you?
That must suck spectacularly.
It's been a very long...
500 years.
Who are those men?
Did you see where they went?
They took me and put me in a van
they had parked round the back.
What, an ambulance, a police van?
Just a van van. And then they drove
off.
Great! No fucking door then?
By the pricking of my thumbs...
something wicked this way comes.
I want you to run Britain for me.
When the hurly-burly's done.
The devil showed him all the
kingdoms of the world and said,
"All this I will give you
if you will bow down and worship
me."
You think I'm tempting you?
Surely the point of temptation
is to prompt a decision
that's not yet been made?
What do you mean?
What do you stay alive for?
That endless scurrying from bad to
good to bad again?
Must've been exhausting.
And each return to bad brought with
it a little flurry of deaths.
Tell me...
if you admired humans so much...
why did you keep inflicting
your failures upon them?
Because I think... one day, I'll win.
And if the lion wishes hard enough...
perhaps one day, he'll become a
lamb.
You have a whole army.
Why this interest in me?
For time spent. Services rendered.
Blood shed.
But it's not just that.
Having one of the Old Ones on the
outside,
I don't like the aesthetic.
Then I could flee.
I've hid from you for 55 years.
I could do it again.
Back to Southend?
With a new werewolf and ghost,
like Leo and Pearl and Tom and Annie?
Something about that format
clearly appeals to you.
How did you know?
Oh, Hal...
You weren't hiding.
I was just giving you the afternoon
off.
What are you waiting for?
Just tell me to join you.
Why did you move to this city?
My friend came here to die.
And you stayed?
There was stability.
Of sorts.
And us, in time.
I don't want any part of this!
A man who wants to stop gambling
doesn't move to Las Vegas.
Never was someone so tortured for so
long,
so needlessly.
But it's over now.
We've come to rescue you.
As you knew we would.
Why haven't I told you to join me?
Because I have you already.
Heart and mind.
Shh, shh, shh.
I have a condition.
I stay with her.
With you.
To make sure nothing happens to her.
You'll be given chores.
You won't like them.
You don't have to take her.
I'm not going anywhere.
A quick cuddle.
It's fine.
You're all right.
Look at her.
So soft.
So cruel.
Hail! Hail!
Hail!
Hail! Hail!
Hail!
You were right.
I stayed here
because I knew you were coming.
No, Hal, don't do this.
But not to join you. There was
something else I had to do.
Tom, get the baby and get out.
It'll never end.
I'll never be free until I do this.
There's no shame in this.
I want you to know that.
Get back!
It's just the death rattle
of your humanity.
Mercy's last hurrah.
Let it fade and decay, Hal.
Fade and decay.
Untangle yourself...
from its grip.
Celebrate and be glad.
For this, your brother, was dead
and is alive again.
He was lost...
and is found.
Give me back my fucking baby.
Get out of my way!
You need to stay out here.
I'm so pleased to finally meet you,
Annie.
Can I just say...
it was an honour watching
you in action.
I think you'll be a worthy guardian
for this precious cargo.
What?
Surely you must know by now
that we want her kept alive?
And who better to safeguard our
future than you.
Is this a joke?
Change of plan, that's all.
I had considered... raising her
myself.
She's have been fed, worshipped,
kept safe in a tower of bone.
Oh, I think we'd have got
a good 80 years out of her,
before she passed of her own accord.
By which time, any remaining humans
would have been docile or...
utterly demented.
But now I'm not so sure.
Of course, you'll have to keep
the truth about her
secret from any remnants of
resistance.
Become furtive, lie to your friends.
Let them die to keep her alive.
But at least she'll live.
So...
can we get you a taxi?
I don't understand.
How does keeping her alive save you?
I've often wondered that myself.
Perhaps the remaining humans
wait so long for her to save them
that they never build a cohesive
defence.
That's the funny thing about
saviours.
It can make one a little...
dependent.
And what will you do... to the world?
Pluck it apart.
Like a child with a spider.
Hal isn't a living thing.
What?
Hal isn't a living thing.
I love you.
Where's Annie? Where's Eve?
No!
Eve? Eve!
Oh!
Oh!
You did it, Annie!
So, am I really here?
That was your unfinished business.
All you had to do was save the world.
And I can't go back? No.
But, then, you never were one
for following rules.
Go on.
They're expecting you.
Who?
Who do you think?
Oh, come with me!
I want them to meet you.
I can't.
There isn't time.
Eve, you're...
you're fading.
I never happen now.
I never grew up.
I never saw the things I saw.
That's the only me now.
I'm sorry. Don't be!
You saved us all.
There are things that should be
seen.
And things that should remain
hidden.
Last night, in that nightclub,
you caught a glimpse of something
you shouldn't have.
Like when Dorothy sees the wizard
behind the curtain.
That wasn't your fault.
You weren't to know.
But see those things you did.
And that means you have been noticed.
By me.
And you don't want to be noticed by
me.
They're not new things.
They're very, very old.
And you're not the first to see them.
So why were they a surprise?
Why didn't you know about them years
ago?
Because, for as long as there have
been creatures like that...
there have been men like me.
Silent, modest men, whose job it is
to keep the secret things
secret.
Think of us as the domestic staff
of the world.
We appear in the dead of night
and sweep up the mess and bury the
bodies,
so the world is clean and smart
for you the next day.
We don't work for these creatures.
Most of them don't know we even
exist, now.
We work for you.
But men like me...
are magicians too.
And, if we need to,
we can make people disappear
in a puff of smoke.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Now...
I believe you captured the
creature on your phone?
I would very much like to have that
phone.
Mr Rook!
We haven't seen you down here
in quite a while.
Busy as the veritable bee, Arthur.
Are you well?
Fine, thank you, sir.
And the weather's on the turn,
finally.
My primroses are out.
Zhivago's Nightclub, Barry.
Type one, query, types two and three.
That's a new file, isn't it, sir?
Might be on my list of drop-offs.
I could take it for you.
Er, Barry...
Bristol...
63... No. I'm afraid not, sir.
Drop it on the trolley.
Save you the bother.
Wouldn't dream of it, Arthur.
Um... Aisle 209, sir.
Right you are.
Thank you, Arthur!
Time for a cup of tea, sir?
Another time.
I've got a five o'clock
with the Secretary of State.
You know what they say,
no rest for the wicked.
I wasn't ready. You crept up on
me.
You shouldn't have had your music so
loud and you'd have heard us coming,
wouldn't you?
Let's start tomorrow,
I need to defrost the freezer.
We've started already, mate.
Hey.
Untie me, you fucking hound,
or I will tear your throat out!
Ooh, language!
Untie me, bitch! Do it! Now!
Hal, shush, you're being rude
now.
I'm sorry.
Alex, I'm very sorry.
It goes in cycles.
50 years, then 55, from good to bad
to good to worse.
Maybe we can stop the cycle.
Force you to stay good
and then you'll break it?
Like a fever. But I'll scream.
And I'll shout and I'll plead
and I'll threaten you.
We don't understand
most of what you're saying anyway.
Then why are you doing this?
Cos you're my best mate.
all actually happening. Come with me.
How do you make humans love vampires?
You show them something worse?
I was protected all my life
and humanity fell.
What is it that you want me to do?
Kill me.
The Old Ones are going to be
here any day now.
To stop them, we might have to do
terrible things.
What choice do we have?
You're welcome. You're welcome!
Who's hungry?
Do you know who I am?
I was in the area, as they say.
What about you, Isaac Daniels?
Why are you in the area?
We're on our way back
from seeing my father.
He's in one of the resettlement
camps in London West.
Do you know what tomorrow is?
Of course, sir.
11th April. Ten years ago tomorrow,
you killed the prime minister live
on television.
He was appealing for calm.
He looked so pale.
His tie was askew.
We've got parades planned, curfews,
executions, so...
a curious day to go visiting
relatives.
Don't you think?
My father's sick.
There's a letter there
from his medical officer,
along with our identification papers
and our internal travel visas.
I just wanted Zoe to see her
grandfather
one last time before he passes.
Zoe.
She's my daughter.
She's 11. She was born before the
pregnancy embargo.
Is she the one in the car?
She looks exhausted, poor poppet.
It's been a long day.
Well, I won't detain you any longer.
Oh, one last question.
Your daughter...
What colour are her eyes?
Come, Mr Daniels.
It's hardly a complex question.
What colour are your daughter's eyes?
You don't remember, do you?
I daresay when the other agent
handed her over with her fake papers,
you looked her up and down and
thought,
"Is this what all the fuss is about?
"This is the War Child?"
But the one thing you didn't take in
was the colour of her eyes.
And, now, of course, you're thinking
that you've taken too long to reply,
so, instead, you're calculating
the chances of fighting your way out
and which of us to disable first.
You won't win, you know!
I think we already have.
Humanity will survive somehow.
You can't kill us all.
I don't intend to.
You're delicious.
Run, Eve, run!
Follow her at a distance.
Make sure she reaches
her rendezvous safely.
She's a very precious cargo.
Be seeing you, Eve.
Why am I still here?
Does everyone just become a ghost
for a wee bit?
No.
No, you must have unfinished
business.
Something we must resolve,
before you can pass over.
Well, we can poke around my business
later.
First, I want to beat seven shades
of shite out of Cutler.
Hey, maybe that is my unfinished
business?
Unfinished business tends to be
something
more life-affirming
than beating someone up.
Not if you're Scottish.
She's right.
We get Cutler. First we try the
docks.
If he ain't there, we go to his
office.
But we don't stop until we find him.
Um... I'm just going to
go and sit in the van for a bit.
You're her first werewolf. We
forget. It's a lot to process.
I ain't never felt frightening
before.
Thank you.
I could've killed all those people.
I could've killed you.
Alex got the people out.
I just lured you into the van.
I can't believe I let it happen!
I'm always dead stealthy
with my transformations.
I've taken a step backwards too.
I've been drinking blood.
The first time was genuinely to gain
Cutler's trust, Tom, the second
wasn't.
Where are you now?
Leo once said that we were on the
outside of humanity so that we might
guard it.
He made it sound like a privilege,
rather than a burden.
I don't think any of us deserve that
job any more.
Then we must earn it back.
And you are?
Er, Cutler.
Nick Cutler.
There was no-one here to greet us,
Cutler, Nick Cutler.
We... We weren't sure
when you were arriving. It's been...
I'm all that's left. Everyone else
ran away or got proper dead.
How?
Werewolves.
We had a bit of an infestation.
Do you hear that, Milo?
Your brothers have been causing a
rumpus.
So...
You're the last man standing?
A tribute must be paid, nonetheless.
I last came to Britain
in 1779.
My people took me to a village.
They'd killed all the adults
and used the bodies to create a
tableau of scenes from our history.
The children sang to me.
And then we made wine from their
blood.
I was so touched.
What do you have for me, Cutler,
Nick Cutler?
Ooh.
Only the world.
I was planning just to take the
world.
I didn't realise I needed you
to give it to me.
Oh. Something to ease the transition
then.
OK. Advances in technology have
given humanity
the means to coordinate and marshal
their forces in a way they never
could before.
But, more than that, they're so used
to having the run of the place,
I don't think they'll
capitulate... What's the matter?
He's here.
And taking the world by force
may entail decimating
a significant part of
our future food stocks.
But what if we could make them
welcome us?
Is that even possible?
We have to get out of here!
Yes.
By presenting them with something
worse.
Worse than me?
Well...
Not worse, of course, but something
less elegant, perhaps.
Werewolves.
What was that, you little fuck?
What are we doing?
Please, just keep moving.
Who was that guy? Big cheese guy?
He's called Mr Snow.
And he's the very worst thing
in the world.
Why are we running away? Did he see
you?
I wouldn't be here if he had!
Why, cos he'd have killed you?
No!
Because he'd have told me to join
him and I would.
Nice to know.
You don't understand.
Snow was one of the first.
The blood that's passed from vampire
to recruit, generation after
generation,
you can trace it back to him.
He's in our DNA.
We have to get away from here.
But we were gonna get Cutler?
Cutler doesn't matter any more.
Well, maybe not to you.
God's sake!
Mr Snow is here.
That changes everything.
The longer I stay here,
the more chance there is of me...
of him finding me.
Last night, humanity saw the
beginning of the end of its reign.
Welcome to Britain, Mr Snow.
The revolution is being televised.
Judging by this, we'd be doing them
a favour.
In 2001,
William chose to study geography...
Am I missing something?
Is he giving me a television set?
I don't understand.
Someone must have reported it.
Because I already have a television
the size of a bed sheet.
They must be suppressing it somehow.
There were witnesses!
Witnesses to what?
I had a werewolf,
I let him loose in a nightclub,
I saw them filming him.
The world would've found out about
them, they would've been terrified,
they'd want us to save them.
Thanks to you, breweries the world
over are safe from piss-ups.
But I've been working on this!
My own blood.
It'll sting.
A tribute must still be paid, Cutler,
Nick Cutler.
It's a question of protocol.
Or there'll be consequences.
The War Child. The
human saviour, the child from the
myth - she's here.
I know where they're hiding her. I
could go there now and I could kill
her for you.
No-one touches that child.
But the skin parchments
say she'll destroy vampires.
That's the final piece.
Death of the Godhead.
Humanity lives.
What?
To save humanity,
she must be killed.
And, therefore, she must live.
But we didn't know.
These eyes have looked upon pharaohs
and the son of the carpenter.
And, now, they must look at you...
proudly showing me your idea,
like a child with a handful
of its own excrement.
I have never known humiliation,
failure or obscurity.
How does it make you feel?
Like coming home, I imagine.
I've already forgotten your name.
My name's Cutler.
I'll make sure you remember that!
You're nothing but a relic.
I'll make sure you remember my name!
Oh, yeah, meant to say. Annie's back.
Where have you been?!
To the future.
Annie, the Old Ones have arrived.
We saw them at the warehouse.
Yeah, Eve said they'd be here soon.
Eve's been here the whole time.
Grown-up Eve.
She died an adult.
She travelled back through purgatory
to find me,
because there was something
I needed to know.
She took me into her corridor...
"Took me into her corridor"!
Sorry, misjudged the mood.
Who is that?
Um, this is Alex.
THAT drank my blood.
It had to happen, I guess.
I saw it in the future,
what happens to all of us.
Where I go.
How Tom dies.
And how you...
Revert...
to what I once was?
So much worse.
Each time it tends to amplify.
But this was a momentary blip,
nothing more.
What a minute...
Baby Eve took you to the future?
That's crackers.
Before Mitchell could bring me back
from purgatory,
he had to revisit moments from his
past.
The places that Eve took me
were moments from her past,
just moments that hadn't happened to
us.
Yet.
I had to see... how terrible
the future is...
because what I have to do to stop
it is really, really hard.
Eve must die.
It's the last part of the myth.
Eve saves humanity...
by dying.
Does the Nemesis...
Whoever it is with the burn,
is that who kills her?
She is the Nemesis.
She has the burn.
I'm just... the weapon.
Right, first off,
we need to get her out of here.
This is not a group decision.
I saw the future. Me. And Eve made
it very clear that if she lives,
then I'm responsible and nobody
else.
You don't believe it, do you?
I don't know! Everything else
on that bloody parchment's come
true!
Annie.
Are you saying you might hurt Eve?
How could you even say that to me?
I could never, ever hurt a child!
But if someone else tried to harm
her...
what would you do then?
Jesus.
OK, look.
If we can concentrate our energies
on destroying the Old Ones,
perhaps we can remove Eve
from the equation entirely.
We blow 'em up.
Of course, brilliant.
Do vampires die if you blow them up?
Most things die, if you blow them
up.
Sadly we can't, what with us, ha,
not living in a cartoon.
Well, actually, Mr bloody Radio 4,
we can.
And I'll show you how. My
team, with me.
Look, I'm still not comfortable
leaving them alone together.
We could take Eve with us.
To your explosives workshop?!
No way. Uh-uh.
Eve needs protecting.
Yeah, but by me?!
I'm dead.
Yet I've never met anyone so
unaffected by their own mortality.
You've got one hour.
By which time, I'll have worked out
whether that was a dig or not.
What do you think? I've been putting
a bit aside every day.
It's the cooking oil?
You can make explosives
out of cooking oil?
Well, there's a bit more to it than
that.
What's all that junk you've been
gathering?
You didn't really think I was
building a swimming pool in the back
garden, did you?
How long have you been planning
this?!
Not really been planning anything.
Just picked it up off McNair.
Always be kind and polite
and have the materials to build a
bomb.
So, what do we do?
We make 'em.
Then I strap 'em to myself, walk into
the vampires' nest and set 'em off.
Need to get some more bits. Pass us
the order pad, I'll write 'em down
for you.
Wait a minute.
Tom... then you'll get blown up too.
Well, I don't know how to build a
remote detonator. McNair always did
'em.
I just knocked out the explosives.
Tom!
Well, what else do we do?!
Even you said, if we target the Old
Ones, we take Eve out of the
abrasion.
You really are one of the most
remarkable people I've ever met.
All right, calm down!
Let me come too.
Well, then, you'll cop it and all.
I've had a good innings.
What if Mr Snow tells you not to?
Then... you must bring matters
to a swift conclusion.
I didn't think you liked shaking
hands?
Well, today is a day of firsts.
And lasts.
So...
Make-up!
What do you use?
Avon?
Do they still make Avon?
And shoes!
Ha! Got to love shoes!
What's your favourite... shoe?
God, I love your...
woolly...
welly... th...
Oh, I have no idea
what I am talking about.
I've spent the last seven years
with four smelly men.
I've completely forgotten
how to talk to other women.
Don't worry.
Look,
I'll be out of your hair soon
enough.
When Hal gets back,
we're gonna go and do my...
unfinished business thing
and then I...
climb through a magic window,
or something.
Do you have any idea what it might
be?
He thinks it's about someone
finding my body,
giving my family closure.
What about you? You're still here.
What's your unfinished business?
I think my unfinished business ship
has sailed.
I think I'm here to stay. I think...
I think that they're scared of me.
"They"?
They're the men with sticks and
ropes. I saw them when I died.
Thought they were evil morris
dancers.
What are they?
Your basic agents for the afterlife,
but...
they're all bluff.
I mean, just stay... stay frosty,
and you'll be fine.
How'm I doing? You know, girl talk?
Yeah. You're doing fine.
Well, you're just like a bloke,
really.
Well, a bloke with tits.
Or, to put it another way, my dad!
Great!
Well, hopefully, Hal and you will
get your body back to your family
and that'll be that. But, um...
just in case you're here for a
while,
why don't I teach you some of the
tricks of the ghost trade, hmm?
Come on. I think we could both
do with the distraction.
Right, nearly done!
All we need are those two
rucksacks...
It's Tom, isn't it?
What do you want?
Well, I suppose a bacon sandwich
is out of the question?
Kitchen's closed, mate.
Really?
Cos you're cooking something back
there.
Is that...
muriatic acid?
And peroxide?
Tom...
What are you up to?
Let's start again. I'm Milo.
I think you saw me at the warehouse.
And I think I saw you.
We need to talk about Eve.
Now, Tom, it's very important
that you answer this question.
Is she safe?
I'm not telling you where she is.
I didn't ask you that.
I asked if she was safe.
She's with her mum.
But is it secure there?
Do you really think
she's the humans' saviour?
Are you being sponsored
to avoid answering my question?
Whether she is or not is immaterial.
The vampires believe it.
Now, Tom, can Eve's mum protect her?
You need to give her to us.
To me and the vampires.
Why would I do that?
Cos once the other werewolves, the
ghosts, any vampires with human
sympathies,
once they find out Eve's death
is the key to humanity's survival,
they'll fall on that house like a
plague.
And even you
won't be able to fight them all off.
Well, maybe I've already got a plan.
Oh, yeah.
Your home economics bomb. Or I'll
run away. Look after her myself.
They'll find you
and they'll kill you both.
What are you doing, hanging around
with a load of vampires?
Because there's nothing noble
about being on the side that loses.
I bet you support Manchester United
as well, don't you?
You know, they're an incredibly
skilful team...
Do you know what vampires do to
us? They don't do it to me.
They will.
Then I'll review the situation.
How can you look at yourself
in the mirror?!
There's not much call for mirrors
in our bit of Bolivia.
There's one in the back.
Go and have a look, I dare you.
It's simple survival, Tom.
You find the biggest kid
in the playground...
and you stand next to him.
I didn't know cowards
had their own school.
You have no idea what I had to do
to be accepted by them.
So you can call me an opportunist,
you can even call me a traitor...
but never, EVER call me a coward.
Kill her, keep her, hand her over.
I'll survive whatever you do.
I'm telling you this as a...
favour, from one werewolf
to another.
Everyone in the world
wants that baby dead.
Except the vampires.
Yes!
Ah, you learn quickly, Skywalker.
I thank you.
Rentaghosting's still my favourite
though.
Oh... What's the biggest thing
you've ever Rentaghosted with?
Er, hey, listen.
This is not a party trick. This is
an invaluable defensive weapon.
An armchair.
OK, I know.
But, listen, you cannot Rentaghost
with a living thing.
That's the only rule.
Shit! That's him!
That's the vampire that killed me.
Oh, OK. Um...
I want you to go upstairs and wait
in one of the rooms until...
Well, until it's all over.
And what are you going to do?
I, um...
I don't know.
That looks a lot easier in films.
Hey.
Didn't I kill you?
Believe me, I'm as surprised that
we're having this conversation as
you are.
Ask me in.
No, I can't.
I can't.
Ask me in!
Argh!
Argh!
Annie!
Please, Annie, do something!
Argh!
Annie, let him.
Please, let him do this.
Who's that?
Argh!
Oh, my God.
OK, I don't really know
what I am talking about here,
but apparently the baby needs to
stay alive for the vampires to do
their thing,
so, you hurt her and you will get
struck by lightning or fall down a
well.
Something. I know.
Right, good.
What?
The baby dies, the vampires die.
That's why I'm here.
I tried to help, but you wouldn't
even let me explain.
Annie, let him do it, please!
No!
Please, this has to happen.
I always knew I'd make history.
Least no-one will forget me now.
You know, I...
I should say something.
I am signing the death warrant
for my entire species.
I should mark the occasion somehow.
So...
This is how it ends...
This is what it was all for.
No!
Annie, no!
Annie, what have you done?
Oh, God, Eve! I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry!
Shh, shh!
I'm so sorry.
Shh, shh! Shh.
I'm sorry.
Sorry? Annie, you saved her!
No. No, you don't understand.
I've betrayed you all.
I'd rather let the world burn
than hurt her.
I let the vampires win
and I'm always gonna let them win.
You, er...
You need to get Hal.
And find your body.
And pass on, because things are
going to get very bad, very, very
quickly.
Trust me.
Trust me, you don't want to be here
for what happens next.
Tell me something.
Am I totally invisible?
What are you doing?!
You're supposed to be looking after
Eve.
Fine. Annie had a change of heart.
Cutler came back to kill Eve
and Annie kebab-ed him.
What, Cutler's dead?
If we nipped back to my caravan now,
where my family are, would they see
me?
Cos I would really like to get
a change of clothes.
I mean, I wore them for our date,
which, frankly,
was a mixed success.
Are you OK?
Yes, sorry.
It's just there was a time
when Cutler and I were friends.
Thin ice, Hal. Hm?
Thin... ice.
You can't change clothes.
Ghosts are stuck in whatever they
died in.
I'm stuck like this?
For ever?!
But I look like a girl!
OK, OK.
That's it. We are finding my body
and I am totally passing over.
The policeman said there was a bomb
scare.
No mention of werewolves, no panic.
All very routine and unexciting.
Have they found my body?
I don't understand. Cutler
wouldn't have prepared a cover
story.
He was too sure his plan would work.
It's like somebody's tidying this
up. Hal.
Did you ask about my body?
No. I thought that might have looked
a little suspicious.
They can't arrest you
for asking a question.
No, but it would imply I was
involved.
You were involved.
Tangentially. I was involved
tangentially.
You weren't drinking my blood
"tangentially"!
How many times
are you going to bring that up?!
I don't know, I mean, you're the
expert. What's the usual amount, hm?
Anyway...
There was no mention of a body.
Well, we should go and have a look.
You can Rentaghost in. What about
me?
I can't just walk past the
policemen.
Cutler took me in
through a different door.
Come on.
Before anyone finds me, can you
do something with my body, please?
Um... like...
take away all those tubes and stuff?
I don't want my family to think that
it was any more brutal and weird as
it was.
So, um... what do we do next?
Alert the police.
That will begin the process
and, if that completes your
business, your door will appear.
Shit.
They must have heard us.
Turn off the lights.
Certainly a little neater
than we're used to.
Shall we say 45 seconds, gentlemen?
Sir?
37 seconds.
Very deft, gentlemen, very deft.
But let's not dally.
I think we've got company.
Who the hell were they?!
I've no idea.
But they weren't vampires,
or they'd have seen you.
You should follow them.
What if my door comes?
I'll stall it.
I thought it was a momentary blip.
Your cafe is cleaner
than most operating theatres
and yet, here you are,
licking congealed blood off a floor.
Is that the hold it has over you?
That must suck spectacularly.
It's been a very long...
500 years.
Who are those men?
Did you see where they went?
They took me and put me in a van
they had parked round the back.
What, an ambulance, a police van?
Just a van van. And then they drove
off.
Great! No fucking door then?
By the pricking of my thumbs...
something wicked this way comes.
I want you to run Britain for me.
When the hurly-burly's done.
The devil showed him all the
kingdoms of the world and said,
"All this I will give you
if you will bow down and worship
me."
You think I'm tempting you?
Surely the point of temptation
is to prompt a decision
that's not yet been made?
What do you mean?
What do you stay alive for?
That endless scurrying from bad to
good to bad again?
Must've been exhausting.
And each return to bad brought with
it a little flurry of deaths.
Tell me...
if you admired humans so much...
why did you keep inflicting
your failures upon them?
Because I think... one day, I'll win.
And if the lion wishes hard enough...
perhaps one day, he'll become a
lamb.
You have a whole army.
Why this interest in me?
For time spent. Services rendered.
Blood shed.
But it's not just that.
Having one of the Old Ones on the
outside,
I don't like the aesthetic.
Then I could flee.
I've hid from you for 55 years.
I could do it again.
Back to Southend?
With a new werewolf and ghost,
like Leo and Pearl and Tom and Annie?
Something about that format
clearly appeals to you.
How did you know?
Oh, Hal...
You weren't hiding.
I was just giving you the afternoon
off.
What are you waiting for?
Just tell me to join you.
Why did you move to this city?
My friend came here to die.
And you stayed?
There was stability.
Of sorts.
And us, in time.
I don't want any part of this!
A man who wants to stop gambling
doesn't move to Las Vegas.
Never was someone so tortured for so
long,
so needlessly.
But it's over now.
We've come to rescue you.
As you knew we would.
Why haven't I told you to join me?
Because I have you already.
Heart and mind.
Shh, shh, shh.
I have a condition.
I stay with her.
With you.
To make sure nothing happens to her.
You'll be given chores.
You won't like them.
You don't have to take her.
I'm not going anywhere.
A quick cuddle.
It's fine.
You're all right.
Look at her.
So soft.
So cruel.
Hail! Hail!
Hail!
Hail! Hail!
Hail!
You were right.
I stayed here
because I knew you were coming.
No, Hal, don't do this.
But not to join you. There was
something else I had to do.
Tom, get the baby and get out.
It'll never end.
I'll never be free until I do this.
There's no shame in this.
I want you to know that.
Get back!
It's just the death rattle
of your humanity.
Mercy's last hurrah.
Let it fade and decay, Hal.
Fade and decay.
Untangle yourself...
from its grip.
Celebrate and be glad.
For this, your brother, was dead
and is alive again.
He was lost...
and is found.
Give me back my fucking baby.
Get out of my way!
You need to stay out here.
I'm so pleased to finally meet you,
Annie.
Can I just say...
it was an honour watching
you in action.
I think you'll be a worthy guardian
for this precious cargo.
What?
Surely you must know by now
that we want her kept alive?
And who better to safeguard our
future than you.
Is this a joke?
Change of plan, that's all.
I had considered... raising her
myself.
She's have been fed, worshipped,
kept safe in a tower of bone.
Oh, I think we'd have got
a good 80 years out of her,
before she passed of her own accord.
By which time, any remaining humans
would have been docile or...
utterly demented.
But now I'm not so sure.
Of course, you'll have to keep
the truth about her
secret from any remnants of
resistance.
Become furtive, lie to your friends.
Let them die to keep her alive.
But at least she'll live.
So...
can we get you a taxi?
I don't understand.
How does keeping her alive save you?
I've often wondered that myself.
Perhaps the remaining humans
wait so long for her to save them
that they never build a cohesive
defence.
That's the funny thing about
saviours.
It can make one a little...
dependent.
And what will you do... to the world?
Pluck it apart.
Like a child with a spider.
Hal isn't a living thing.
What?
Hal isn't a living thing.
I love you.
Where's Annie? Where's Eve?
No!
Eve? Eve!
Oh!
Oh!
You did it, Annie!
So, am I really here?
That was your unfinished business.
All you had to do was save the world.
And I can't go back? No.
But, then, you never were one
for following rules.
Go on.
They're expecting you.
Who?
Who do you think?
Oh, come with me!
I want them to meet you.
I can't.
There isn't time.
Eve, you're...
you're fading.
I never happen now.
I never grew up.
I never saw the things I saw.
That's the only me now.
I'm sorry. Don't be!
You saved us all.
There are things that should be
seen.
And things that should remain
hidden.
Last night, in that nightclub,
you caught a glimpse of something
you shouldn't have.
Like when Dorothy sees the wizard
behind the curtain.
That wasn't your fault.
You weren't to know.
But see those things you did.
And that means you have been noticed.
By me.
And you don't want to be noticed by
me.
They're not new things.
They're very, very old.
And you're not the first to see them.
So why were they a surprise?
Why didn't you know about them years
ago?
Because, for as long as there have
been creatures like that...
there have been men like me.
Silent, modest men, whose job it is
to keep the secret things
secret.
Think of us as the domestic staff
of the world.
We appear in the dead of night
and sweep up the mess and bury the
bodies,
so the world is clean and smart
for you the next day.
We don't work for these creatures.
Most of them don't know we even
exist, now.
We work for you.
But men like me...
are magicians too.
And, if we need to,
we can make people disappear
in a puff of smoke.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Now...
I believe you captured the
creature on your phone?
I would very much like to have that
phone.
Mr Rook!
We haven't seen you down here
in quite a while.
Busy as the veritable bee, Arthur.
Are you well?
Fine, thank you, sir.
And the weather's on the turn,
finally.
My primroses are out.
Zhivago's Nightclub, Barry.
Type one, query, types two and three.
That's a new file, isn't it, sir?
Might be on my list of drop-offs.
I could take it for you.
Er, Barry...
Bristol...
63... No. I'm afraid not, sir.
Drop it on the trolley.
Save you the bother.
Wouldn't dream of it, Arthur.
Um... Aisle 209, sir.
Right you are.
Thank you, Arthur!
Time for a cup of tea, sir?
Another time.
I've got a five o'clock
with the Secretary of State.
You know what they say,
no rest for the wicked.
I wasn't ready. You crept up on
me.
You shouldn't have had your music so
loud and you'd have heard us coming,
wouldn't you?
Let's start tomorrow,
I need to defrost the freezer.
We've started already, mate.
Hey.
Untie me, you fucking hound,
or I will tear your throat out!
Ooh, language!
Untie me, bitch! Do it! Now!
Hal, shush, you're being rude
now.
I'm sorry.
Alex, I'm very sorry.
It goes in cycles.
50 years, then 55, from good to bad
to good to worse.
Maybe we can stop the cycle.
Force you to stay good
and then you'll break it?
Like a fever. But I'll scream.
And I'll shout and I'll plead
and I'll threaten you.
We don't understand
most of what you're saying anyway.
Then why are you doing this?
Cos you're my best mate.