Becker (1998–2004): Season 3, Episode 19 - You Say Gay Son I Say Godson - full transcript
Becker's godson seeks advice on how to tell his father that he is gay. Reggie feel threatened by a snooty acquaintance.
Louis, don't tell me
you have a lot on your mind.
I've got a lot on my mind.
I am buried in paperwork.
I've got an office full
of whining, annoying patients...
Sorry, just making a point.
And if that isn't bad enough,
now he's here.
Yeah, well,
good morning to you too.
Damn it, Louis, I bought
the present and I wrapped it.
All you had to do
was sign the card,
and even that
was too much trouble.
You know, Margaret,
I know you and Louis
are having problems,
but don't you think
you might be overreacting?
You already bought the card.
Why didn't you
just sign his name?
Because it's my damn birthday.
Oh, happy birthday.
Say, are we having cake?
Guess not.
Dr. Becker,
there's a kid in your office.
He says you're his godfather.
Oh, hey, you're kidding.
I know.
You're not even Italian.
Someone asked you
to be a godfather?
Yeah, my college roommate.
How many people did he ask
before he got to you?
Hey, I happen to care a lot
about that kid.
In fact, we have a very
special relationship.
Which is probably why.
Alex decided to follow
in my footsteps
and go pre-med at NYU.
His name is Adam
and he's at Columbia.
Well, I was pretty close.
Hi, ha, ha.
So, Adam, how are you?
Good.
Good.
Well, that's good.
Yeah, good.
Oh, I know.
Uh, wanna sit down?
Yes, that'd be good.
Okay.
So how are you?
Still good.
Good.
My dad's coming to town.
Oh, thank God.
You know, we'll be able
to get together and...
Yeah.
Yeah, look, you know, this...
This whole godfather thing,
I'm... I'm not really
very good at it.
Oh, hey, we're just talking,
right?
I'm not very good
at that either.
Well, you could ask me
how I like school.
If I'm dating anyone.
Okay. That.
School's fine.
And, yes, I'm dating someone.
And I like him a lot.
Well, that's great,
that's great.
You know, it's good that we're
catching up like this.
Didn't you hear me? I said him.
I'm dating a guy.
I'm gay.
Well, I-I heard you.
I just thought
that might be something
I was supposed to know already.
Actually,
that's the reason I'm here.
I was hoping for some advice
on how to tell my dad.
Oh, wow. Oh, jeez, um...
I always thought if you called
me, it'd be to ask me for money.
And I know the answer to that,
but...
boy, this... This...
This is big.
Maybe I could just get a Valium
to give Dad before I tell him.
Look... Look,
y-your dad loves you a lot.
And, uh, I just gotta figure
that it will all end up okay.
I mean, I think you've just
gotta come out and tell him.
Actually, you already came out,
didn't you?
I mean...
Hey, you're halfway there.
Is that a definite no
on the Valium?
Oh, look at all these people
walking into the Academy Awards.
I'd love to go
to a party like that.
The gowns, the jewelry,
the glamour...
This fork smells.
And then there's my life.
Come on, Bob,
show a little sensitivity.
I mean, can't you see
Reggie's just trying to dream?
My fork smells too.
It's not your fork, it's the...
Oh, well, you already ate it.
Oh, no, as if my morning
wasn't bad enough.
Look who just pulled up.
It's Sara from the bakery.
She thinks her life
is so much better than mine.
Everyone thinks her life
is better than yours.
Hey, I even think my life's
better than yours,
and that's saying something.
Well, get this.
She borrowed a dress from me
six weeks ago,
and she still hasn't
returned it.
I just hate her, the big phony.
Sara, hi!
Reggie, how are you doing?
Listen, I was just taking some
of my freshly baked doughnuts
to the homeless shelter
and thought maybe you had
food you'd like to donate.
Oh, I'd love to. If you can
wait, I'll go make something.
Reg, they're homeless.
Haven't they suffered enough?
Oh, don't listen to him.
They'll take anything.
Ooh, but I'm afraid
I really can't wait.
My new Lexus is double-parked.
Bye-bye.
Goodbye.
Enjoy your new car.
I hope it blows up.
Can you believe her? She still
didn't mention my dress.
Maybe she forgot.
Oh, she didn't forget.
She wants me to think she forgot
so I'll mention it.
And then I'll look
like the petty one.
But I'm gonna keep quiet
until she brings that dress
back to me.
And then she'll be
horribly embarrassed
at how long it took her.
Which means I win.
Do you hear yourself?
Hey, I am the better person.
And if I have to humiliate
that phony bitch to prove it,
I will.
I'm sorry I'm an hour late,
but I have a really good excuse.
Huh? Oh, that's all right.
Don't you wanna hear it?
No, not really.
All right,
you'll hear it tomorrow.
Margaret, are you all right?
As a matter of fact, I'm not.
When I woke up this morning,
Louis was gone.
Dead?
No.
He left the house
before I woke up.
I found this note.
"We need to talk.
Meet me at Angelo's at 6:30."
Well, what's wrong with this?
He obviously wants to make up
for missing your birthday.
Then why did he sneak out
of the house?
I tell you, Linda, he's been
moody and secretive for months.
This can only mean one thing.
He wants a divorce.
Oh, come on, Margaret,
don't jump to conclusions.
Maybe he just has a girlfriend.
The way I figure it,
he's taking me to a public place
because he's afraid
that I will make a scene.
Why would he think that?
He knows me.
Mr. Berman, next time you wanna
pet an animal, try a dog.
New York squirrels have way
too much attitude.
Hey, John. Ha, ha.
Hey.
Yeah.
Adam told me you were coming.
Nice to see you.
You too, you too.
Well, this is great.
They're still letting you
practice medicine, huh?
He doesn't have a real
medical degree.
Mr. Walters, he's kidding.
We were college roommates.
So, uh, seen Adam yet?
No, not yet.
We'll get together later.
Oh, good.
I stopped by to see if you
wanted to have lunch with me.
I thought maybe we'd go over
to the Four Seasons. How's 1:00?
Oh, Four Seasons. Uh...
Do you really wanna go
all the way into the city
and pay 30 bucks for a burger?
We can go to Ming's right here.
Okay. It's my treat.
Oh, you know, if you really like
the Four Seasons...
No, no, if you want Ming's,
you got it.
Okay, it's my way of saying
thank you
for keeping an eye on Adam.
No problem. Glad to do it.
Yeah.
Hey, you know, he's a great kid.
Don't you forget that.
John, quit sucking up. I already
said I'm paying for lunch.
Ha, ha.
I'll see you at 1.
Hey, I wasn't kidding.
Get out while you can.
You're an idiot. Ha, ha.
You passed up lunch at the
Four Seasons to eat at Ming's?
Mr. Walters,
your wife and your girlfriend
are both patients of mine.
Watch who you call an idiot.
Wow, she's hot.
Yeah, if you like fake breasts.
For your information,
those are real.
Those, on the other hand,
are fake.
Real. Real.
Fake. Real.
Real fake.
Oh, my God, who cares?
A, you're disgusting.
B, this is so unfair to me.
Here, pretend it's Braille.
I gotta get back to the building
to turn off the heat.
Why?
I do it every couple of days.
Then I wait an hour
and I turn it back on.
It gives the tenants
the illusion
that I've actually
fixed something.
Hey, Reg,
Sara's car just pulled up.
Well, if she doesn't have
my dress,
I'm gonna rip the one she's
wearing right off her body.
Then again, what's my rush?
You know what?
This is stupid.
Just ask her for the dress
and be done with it.
I told you,
I don't wanna seem petty.
Well, then make up some story
why you need the dress back.
Good idea. I'll tell her
I have a date.
Well, it's gotta be something
she'll believe.
Reggie, hi. Could I have
change for a dollar?
Father Tendrick's
parking meter expired,
and I'd hate for him
to get a ticket.
Here. My treat.
Are you sure you can spare it?
Yeah.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, Sara, I almost forgot.
I have a date tonight.
Well, fingers crossed.
My point is, you borrowed
a dress from me and...
Oh, I know.
I'm late in getting it back.
It's at the dry cleaners.
Well, I kind of need it tonight.
Oh, no problem.
I'll go right over and get it.
I just need to rearrange
my schedule.
Let's see,
volunteer at the Senior Centre.
Meeting at the church.
My daughter's dance recital.
Oh, she'll cry
if she doesn't see me there.
Oh, but... Ha, ha.
Give me the ticket.
Pardon?
Give me the ticket. I-I'll just
pick up the dress myself.
Oh, you're the best.
Oh, I have just enough time
to get to the hospital
for the blood drive.
Don't you just hate that they
only let you donate one pint?
Bye-bye.
It's unbelievable.
She screwed you again.
No, she didn't.
Reggie screwed herself.
Now, if she hadn't lied
about the date,
she'd have gotten
her dress tomorrow,
picked up and paid for, ha, ha.
But it was your idea to make up
the story in the first place.
It was his idea to open up
a newsstand.
You saw how that turned out.
Ming, can I have another
fortune cookie?
I'll tell you your fortune.
If you don't
order something soon,
a tall dark man
is gonna throw you out
on your cheap white ass.
And I keep telling you,
Ming was the last owner.
I'm Bill.
Yeah, well,
you remind me of Ming.
He didn't like me either.
Ooh, noodles.
Hey.
Oh, what?
You gonna serve these again?
You know, I was in Nam.
I could kill you
with this chopstick.
I thought you
were never gonna make it.
Excuse... Uh, could I have
some water, please?
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna retire
off you two.
Boy,
y-you look terrible.
I just talked to Adam,
and he just told me something
that really threw me.
Oh, so you know, huh?
You know? Well, how come
you didn't tell me?
Well, it wasn't my place.
You know,
Adam thought it'd be best
if he told you he was gay.
He's gay?
Isn't that what he told you?
No.
Um, he told me
that he was quitting pre-med.
He's quitting pre-med?
It's 5:15. You're gonna be late
for your dinner with Louis.
Believe me, I'm in no hurry.
You know, Linda,
I have been imagining
this conversation for months,
but now that it's about
to happen, I'm scared to death.
If Louis wants a divorce,
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't know what to say.
I know, Linda. Thanks.
No, I don't know what to say
because I've never been dumped.
Good luck with it.
Is Dr. Becker here?
Uh, yes, he's in his office.
Yeah, I know the way.
How could you tell my father
I was gay?
Yeah, I didn't know
I was telling him.
I thought
you'd already told him.
I tried to, but he got
so pissed off about med school,
I chickened out.
Yeah, about med school.
I can't tell you
how much that hurt me.
What are you talking about?
You barely know me.
Yeah, and if you were a doctor,
we'd have much more
to talk about.
What?
You're right.
I-I'm sorry. I...
Sit down. I-I'm sorry
about this whole thing.
I-I didn't mean for it
to turn out like this.
Well,
now he won't talk to me at all.
Y-You think it would help
if I talked to him?
Why?
Because you're so good at it?
Show me a little respect. You
know, I am your godfather, Alex.
Adam.
Adam.
She did it to me again.
The ticket that Sara gave me
wasn't just for my dress.
It was for half
of Bloomingdale's. Ugh.
Why didn't you just pick up your
dress and leave the rest there?
Because that's what she'd want.
If I just picked up my dress,
I'd look petty.
How much did it cost
not to look petty?
Seventy-eight dollars
and 37 cents.
Which didn't leave me
enough money for the bus,
so I had to walk for ten blocks
carrying all these
stupid hangers.
And my feet are killing me
and my fingers are deformed.
Well,
at least you don't look petty.
You may not like Sara,
but you have to admit,
she's got good taste.
Silk, cashmere...
Cheap synthetic.
Now how'd that get in there?
That's mine.
Margaret, where have you been?
I'm dying to hear what happened
with you and Louis.
Are you okay?
I'm fantastic.
Really?
Things couldn't have
worked out better.
Louis lost his job.
That pretty much
rules out alimony.
No, Linda, I was wrong.
I thought that Louis wanted
a divorce, but he doesn't.
It turns out that he was
laid off months ago,
and he was too ashamed
to tell me.
Poor guy, every morning
he was getting dressed,
fixing his lunch, and then just
pretending to go to work.
That's the job I want.
Hey, Margaret,
tell Dr. Becker the good news.
Louis lost his job.
Isn't that fantastic?
You know,
I always hoped that you
would be an influence on her.
Okay, I'm here.
You wanna talk,
let's talk in your office.
Oh, boy.
Now,
what the hell's your problem?
Adam told me you
won't even speak to him.
That's because I don't know
what to say.
Well, I-I know you're upset,
but don't you think
you're overreacting?
My son just told me he's gay.
You wanna tell me what
the appropriate reaction is?
Well, I know it's not
to stop talking to him.
Oh, boy, here we go again.
John Becker, the expert
on everybody else's life.
Somebody needs to tell you
how to behave.
What the hell happened to you?
You used to be open-minded.
Well, I'd like to see
how open-minded you would be.
John, you don't even have kids.
You don't know
what it feels like.
Yeah, you know, that has to...
And you know what?
You're his godfather.
You were supposed
to look after him.
I sent you a perfectly straight
med student,
and look what happened.
Jeez. Come on,
now listen to yourself.
I know, I know, I know. I'm not
supposed to feel this way.
It's wrong.
But this is the way I feel.
You know, I...
I had these pictures in my head
of everything that was
ever gonna happened to him.
His graduation, his wedding,
his children.
And then today, in an instant,
every picture I had changed.
Frank, believe me,
I know how you feel.
John, believe me,
you don't have a clue.
Real. Real.
Fake.
Wow, look at that, one of each.
Reggie, hi.
I got your message.
What is it you wanted...?
Oh, my, what's all this?
I thought since I was there,
I might as well pick up
all of your clothes
and save you the trip.
That is so thoughtful.
How much do I owe you?
Oh, gee,
I don't really remember.
I think it was something
like $78 and 37 cents.
Here you go.
Here's 20, 30, 40 in cash,
and $40 in coupons.
That makes 80.
Coupons? I paid cash.
Well, that may be, but I was
gonna use those coupons.
But you didn't pick up
the clothes.
But I was going to,
and I don't see
why I should be out $40
just because you did something
you weren't,
let's be honest,
really asked to do.
What?
Well, I wanna be fair,
so forget the change, ha, ha.
Well, gotta go.
Oh, my gosh, I just remembered.
This jacket is yours.
I borrowed it months ago.
Reggie, if I ever do something
like that again,
for heaven's sake, remind me.
Well, bye-bye.
My life just sucks.
Look, I appreciate
you calling my dad,
but he's not gonna show up.
Oh, now we don't know that
for sure. It's only been...
An hour and 20 minutes.
You know what?
Maybe we should order.
He was in Nam.
I shouldn't have said anything.
I should've kept this to myself.
Oh, come on,
you can't live like that.
Your dad will come around.
He just needs some time.
Adam, I'm sorry.
I wish things had gone better.
Sounds like your father hasn't
grasped the choices you've made.
We're having
a private conversation here.
I know, I'm trying to move this
thing along. I wanna close up.
Look, my father had hopes
and dreams for me too.
He worked hard so that I could
get an education.
I did.
He hoped that one day
I would have
one of those big offices
over on Wall Street.
Well, I did.
And he wanted me
to make a million dollars.
I did that too.
What the hell happened?
I took the money
and started a business
selling shoelaces
over the Internet.
Oh, good one.
Well, everyone needs shoelaces.
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
How does this relate
to what we were talking about?
My point is, I didn't exactly
realize my father's dreams,
and he still loves me.
Yours will too.
Thank you.
Thanks, Ming, that really helps.
Thanks, Ming?
I said the same thing to you
like an hour and a half ago.
Well, it sounded better
coming from him.
We Chinese are very wise.
So you ready to order?
I'm not really hungry. Are you?
No. I'm kind of filled up
on these noodles.
I don't suppose
you want any Pok?mon shoelaces.
Huh.
I'm gonna die with those things.
Well, what do you say, Adam?
You know what?
I'm gonna wait around
a little bit longer.
My dad might still show up.
All right,
I'll wait with you.
you have a lot on your mind.
I've got a lot on my mind.
I am buried in paperwork.
I've got an office full
of whining, annoying patients...
Sorry, just making a point.
And if that isn't bad enough,
now he's here.
Yeah, well,
good morning to you too.
Damn it, Louis, I bought
the present and I wrapped it.
All you had to do
was sign the card,
and even that
was too much trouble.
You know, Margaret,
I know you and Louis
are having problems,
but don't you think
you might be overreacting?
You already bought the card.
Why didn't you
just sign his name?
Because it's my damn birthday.
Oh, happy birthday.
Say, are we having cake?
Guess not.
Dr. Becker,
there's a kid in your office.
He says you're his godfather.
Oh, hey, you're kidding.
I know.
You're not even Italian.
Someone asked you
to be a godfather?
Yeah, my college roommate.
How many people did he ask
before he got to you?
Hey, I happen to care a lot
about that kid.
In fact, we have a very
special relationship.
Which is probably why.
Alex decided to follow
in my footsteps
and go pre-med at NYU.
His name is Adam
and he's at Columbia.
Well, I was pretty close.
Hi, ha, ha.
So, Adam, how are you?
Good.
Good.
Well, that's good.
Yeah, good.
Oh, I know.
Uh, wanna sit down?
Yes, that'd be good.
Okay.
So how are you?
Still good.
Good.
My dad's coming to town.
Oh, thank God.
You know, we'll be able
to get together and...
Yeah.
Yeah, look, you know, this...
This whole godfather thing,
I'm... I'm not really
very good at it.
Oh, hey, we're just talking,
right?
I'm not very good
at that either.
Well, you could ask me
how I like school.
If I'm dating anyone.
Okay. That.
School's fine.
And, yes, I'm dating someone.
And I like him a lot.
Well, that's great,
that's great.
You know, it's good that we're
catching up like this.
Didn't you hear me? I said him.
I'm dating a guy.
I'm gay.
Well, I-I heard you.
I just thought
that might be something
I was supposed to know already.
Actually,
that's the reason I'm here.
I was hoping for some advice
on how to tell my dad.
Oh, wow. Oh, jeez, um...
I always thought if you called
me, it'd be to ask me for money.
And I know the answer to that,
but...
boy, this... This...
This is big.
Maybe I could just get a Valium
to give Dad before I tell him.
Look... Look,
y-your dad loves you a lot.
And, uh, I just gotta figure
that it will all end up okay.
I mean, I think you've just
gotta come out and tell him.
Actually, you already came out,
didn't you?
I mean...
Hey, you're halfway there.
Is that a definite no
on the Valium?
Oh, look at all these people
walking into the Academy Awards.
I'd love to go
to a party like that.
The gowns, the jewelry,
the glamour...
This fork smells.
And then there's my life.
Come on, Bob,
show a little sensitivity.
I mean, can't you see
Reggie's just trying to dream?
My fork smells too.
It's not your fork, it's the...
Oh, well, you already ate it.
Oh, no, as if my morning
wasn't bad enough.
Look who just pulled up.
It's Sara from the bakery.
She thinks her life
is so much better than mine.
Everyone thinks her life
is better than yours.
Hey, I even think my life's
better than yours,
and that's saying something.
Well, get this.
She borrowed a dress from me
six weeks ago,
and she still hasn't
returned it.
I just hate her, the big phony.
Sara, hi!
Reggie, how are you doing?
Listen, I was just taking some
of my freshly baked doughnuts
to the homeless shelter
and thought maybe you had
food you'd like to donate.
Oh, I'd love to. If you can
wait, I'll go make something.
Reg, they're homeless.
Haven't they suffered enough?
Oh, don't listen to him.
They'll take anything.
Ooh, but I'm afraid
I really can't wait.
My new Lexus is double-parked.
Bye-bye.
Goodbye.
Enjoy your new car.
I hope it blows up.
Can you believe her? She still
didn't mention my dress.
Maybe she forgot.
Oh, she didn't forget.
She wants me to think she forgot
so I'll mention it.
And then I'll look
like the petty one.
But I'm gonna keep quiet
until she brings that dress
back to me.
And then she'll be
horribly embarrassed
at how long it took her.
Which means I win.
Do you hear yourself?
Hey, I am the better person.
And if I have to humiliate
that phony bitch to prove it,
I will.
I'm sorry I'm an hour late,
but I have a really good excuse.
Huh? Oh, that's all right.
Don't you wanna hear it?
No, not really.
All right,
you'll hear it tomorrow.
Margaret, are you all right?
As a matter of fact, I'm not.
When I woke up this morning,
Louis was gone.
Dead?
No.
He left the house
before I woke up.
I found this note.
"We need to talk.
Meet me at Angelo's at 6:30."
Well, what's wrong with this?
He obviously wants to make up
for missing your birthday.
Then why did he sneak out
of the house?
I tell you, Linda, he's been
moody and secretive for months.
This can only mean one thing.
He wants a divorce.
Oh, come on, Margaret,
don't jump to conclusions.
Maybe he just has a girlfriend.
The way I figure it,
he's taking me to a public place
because he's afraid
that I will make a scene.
Why would he think that?
He knows me.
Mr. Berman, next time you wanna
pet an animal, try a dog.
New York squirrels have way
too much attitude.
Hey, John. Ha, ha.
Hey.
Yeah.
Adam told me you were coming.
Nice to see you.
You too, you too.
Well, this is great.
They're still letting you
practice medicine, huh?
He doesn't have a real
medical degree.
Mr. Walters, he's kidding.
We were college roommates.
So, uh, seen Adam yet?
No, not yet.
We'll get together later.
Oh, good.
I stopped by to see if you
wanted to have lunch with me.
I thought maybe we'd go over
to the Four Seasons. How's 1:00?
Oh, Four Seasons. Uh...
Do you really wanna go
all the way into the city
and pay 30 bucks for a burger?
We can go to Ming's right here.
Okay. It's my treat.
Oh, you know, if you really like
the Four Seasons...
No, no, if you want Ming's,
you got it.
Okay, it's my way of saying
thank you
for keeping an eye on Adam.
No problem. Glad to do it.
Yeah.
Hey, you know, he's a great kid.
Don't you forget that.
John, quit sucking up. I already
said I'm paying for lunch.
Ha, ha.
I'll see you at 1.
Hey, I wasn't kidding.
Get out while you can.
You're an idiot. Ha, ha.
You passed up lunch at the
Four Seasons to eat at Ming's?
Mr. Walters,
your wife and your girlfriend
are both patients of mine.
Watch who you call an idiot.
Wow, she's hot.
Yeah, if you like fake breasts.
For your information,
those are real.
Those, on the other hand,
are fake.
Real. Real.
Fake. Real.
Real fake.
Oh, my God, who cares?
A, you're disgusting.
B, this is so unfair to me.
Here, pretend it's Braille.
I gotta get back to the building
to turn off the heat.
Why?
I do it every couple of days.
Then I wait an hour
and I turn it back on.
It gives the tenants
the illusion
that I've actually
fixed something.
Hey, Reg,
Sara's car just pulled up.
Well, if she doesn't have
my dress,
I'm gonna rip the one she's
wearing right off her body.
Then again, what's my rush?
You know what?
This is stupid.
Just ask her for the dress
and be done with it.
I told you,
I don't wanna seem petty.
Well, then make up some story
why you need the dress back.
Good idea. I'll tell her
I have a date.
Well, it's gotta be something
she'll believe.
Reggie, hi. Could I have
change for a dollar?
Father Tendrick's
parking meter expired,
and I'd hate for him
to get a ticket.
Here. My treat.
Are you sure you can spare it?
Yeah.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, Sara, I almost forgot.
I have a date tonight.
Well, fingers crossed.
My point is, you borrowed
a dress from me and...
Oh, I know.
I'm late in getting it back.
It's at the dry cleaners.
Well, I kind of need it tonight.
Oh, no problem.
I'll go right over and get it.
I just need to rearrange
my schedule.
Let's see,
volunteer at the Senior Centre.
Meeting at the church.
My daughter's dance recital.
Oh, she'll cry
if she doesn't see me there.
Oh, but... Ha, ha.
Give me the ticket.
Pardon?
Give me the ticket. I-I'll just
pick up the dress myself.
Oh, you're the best.
Oh, I have just enough time
to get to the hospital
for the blood drive.
Don't you just hate that they
only let you donate one pint?
Bye-bye.
It's unbelievable.
She screwed you again.
No, she didn't.
Reggie screwed herself.
Now, if she hadn't lied
about the date,
she'd have gotten
her dress tomorrow,
picked up and paid for, ha, ha.
But it was your idea to make up
the story in the first place.
It was his idea to open up
a newsstand.
You saw how that turned out.
Ming, can I have another
fortune cookie?
I'll tell you your fortune.
If you don't
order something soon,
a tall dark man
is gonna throw you out
on your cheap white ass.
And I keep telling you,
Ming was the last owner.
I'm Bill.
Yeah, well,
you remind me of Ming.
He didn't like me either.
Ooh, noodles.
Hey.
Oh, what?
You gonna serve these again?
You know, I was in Nam.
I could kill you
with this chopstick.
I thought you
were never gonna make it.
Excuse... Uh, could I have
some water, please?
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna retire
off you two.
Boy,
y-you look terrible.
I just talked to Adam,
and he just told me something
that really threw me.
Oh, so you know, huh?
You know? Well, how come
you didn't tell me?
Well, it wasn't my place.
You know,
Adam thought it'd be best
if he told you he was gay.
He's gay?
Isn't that what he told you?
No.
Um, he told me
that he was quitting pre-med.
He's quitting pre-med?
It's 5:15. You're gonna be late
for your dinner with Louis.
Believe me, I'm in no hurry.
You know, Linda,
I have been imagining
this conversation for months,
but now that it's about
to happen, I'm scared to death.
If Louis wants a divorce,
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't know what to say.
I know, Linda. Thanks.
No, I don't know what to say
because I've never been dumped.
Good luck with it.
Is Dr. Becker here?
Uh, yes, he's in his office.
Yeah, I know the way.
How could you tell my father
I was gay?
Yeah, I didn't know
I was telling him.
I thought
you'd already told him.
I tried to, but he got
so pissed off about med school,
I chickened out.
Yeah, about med school.
I can't tell you
how much that hurt me.
What are you talking about?
You barely know me.
Yeah, and if you were a doctor,
we'd have much more
to talk about.
What?
You're right.
I-I'm sorry. I...
Sit down. I-I'm sorry
about this whole thing.
I-I didn't mean for it
to turn out like this.
Well,
now he won't talk to me at all.
Y-You think it would help
if I talked to him?
Why?
Because you're so good at it?
Show me a little respect. You
know, I am your godfather, Alex.
Adam.
Adam.
She did it to me again.
The ticket that Sara gave me
wasn't just for my dress.
It was for half
of Bloomingdale's. Ugh.
Why didn't you just pick up your
dress and leave the rest there?
Because that's what she'd want.
If I just picked up my dress,
I'd look petty.
How much did it cost
not to look petty?
Seventy-eight dollars
and 37 cents.
Which didn't leave me
enough money for the bus,
so I had to walk for ten blocks
carrying all these
stupid hangers.
And my feet are killing me
and my fingers are deformed.
Well,
at least you don't look petty.
You may not like Sara,
but you have to admit,
she's got good taste.
Silk, cashmere...
Cheap synthetic.
Now how'd that get in there?
That's mine.
Margaret, where have you been?
I'm dying to hear what happened
with you and Louis.
Are you okay?
I'm fantastic.
Really?
Things couldn't have
worked out better.
Louis lost his job.
That pretty much
rules out alimony.
No, Linda, I was wrong.
I thought that Louis wanted
a divorce, but he doesn't.
It turns out that he was
laid off months ago,
and he was too ashamed
to tell me.
Poor guy, every morning
he was getting dressed,
fixing his lunch, and then just
pretending to go to work.
That's the job I want.
Hey, Margaret,
tell Dr. Becker the good news.
Louis lost his job.
Isn't that fantastic?
You know,
I always hoped that you
would be an influence on her.
Okay, I'm here.
You wanna talk,
let's talk in your office.
Oh, boy.
Now,
what the hell's your problem?
Adam told me you
won't even speak to him.
That's because I don't know
what to say.
Well, I-I know you're upset,
but don't you think
you're overreacting?
My son just told me he's gay.
You wanna tell me what
the appropriate reaction is?
Well, I know it's not
to stop talking to him.
Oh, boy, here we go again.
John Becker, the expert
on everybody else's life.
Somebody needs to tell you
how to behave.
What the hell happened to you?
You used to be open-minded.
Well, I'd like to see
how open-minded you would be.
John, you don't even have kids.
You don't know
what it feels like.
Yeah, you know, that has to...
And you know what?
You're his godfather.
You were supposed
to look after him.
I sent you a perfectly straight
med student,
and look what happened.
Jeez. Come on,
now listen to yourself.
I know, I know, I know. I'm not
supposed to feel this way.
It's wrong.
But this is the way I feel.
You know, I...
I had these pictures in my head
of everything that was
ever gonna happened to him.
His graduation, his wedding,
his children.
And then today, in an instant,
every picture I had changed.
Frank, believe me,
I know how you feel.
John, believe me,
you don't have a clue.
Real. Real.
Fake.
Wow, look at that, one of each.
Reggie, hi.
I got your message.
What is it you wanted...?
Oh, my, what's all this?
I thought since I was there,
I might as well pick up
all of your clothes
and save you the trip.
That is so thoughtful.
How much do I owe you?
Oh, gee,
I don't really remember.
I think it was something
like $78 and 37 cents.
Here you go.
Here's 20, 30, 40 in cash,
and $40 in coupons.
That makes 80.
Coupons? I paid cash.
Well, that may be, but I was
gonna use those coupons.
But you didn't pick up
the clothes.
But I was going to,
and I don't see
why I should be out $40
just because you did something
you weren't,
let's be honest,
really asked to do.
What?
Well, I wanna be fair,
so forget the change, ha, ha.
Well, gotta go.
Oh, my gosh, I just remembered.
This jacket is yours.
I borrowed it months ago.
Reggie, if I ever do something
like that again,
for heaven's sake, remind me.
Well, bye-bye.
My life just sucks.
Look, I appreciate
you calling my dad,
but he's not gonna show up.
Oh, now we don't know that
for sure. It's only been...
An hour and 20 minutes.
You know what?
Maybe we should order.
He was in Nam.
I shouldn't have said anything.
I should've kept this to myself.
Oh, come on,
you can't live like that.
Your dad will come around.
He just needs some time.
Adam, I'm sorry.
I wish things had gone better.
Sounds like your father hasn't
grasped the choices you've made.
We're having
a private conversation here.
I know, I'm trying to move this
thing along. I wanna close up.
Look, my father had hopes
and dreams for me too.
He worked hard so that I could
get an education.
I did.
He hoped that one day
I would have
one of those big offices
over on Wall Street.
Well, I did.
And he wanted me
to make a million dollars.
I did that too.
What the hell happened?
I took the money
and started a business
selling shoelaces
over the Internet.
Oh, good one.
Well, everyone needs shoelaces.
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
How does this relate
to what we were talking about?
My point is, I didn't exactly
realize my father's dreams,
and he still loves me.
Yours will too.
Thank you.
Thanks, Ming, that really helps.
Thanks, Ming?
I said the same thing to you
like an hour and a half ago.
Well, it sounded better
coming from him.
We Chinese are very wise.
So you ready to order?
I'm not really hungry. Are you?
No. I'm kind of filled up
on these noodles.
I don't suppose
you want any Pok?mon shoelaces.
Huh.
I'm gonna die with those things.
Well, what do you say, Adam?
You know what?
I'm gonna wait around
a little bit longer.
My dad might still show up.
All right,
I'll wait with you.