Becker (1998–2004): Season 3, Episode 20 - Nocturnal Omissions - full transcript

Jake, I'm trying out
a new recipe.

Do me a favor and taste it.

Oh, Reg, I hate
when you make me do this.

Oh, come on, I'm trying to add
something new to the menu.

All right.

Ugh.

Mm.

Is this apple pie you make with
crackers instead of real apples?

It's meatloaf.

It looks like tuna salad.

But it tastes like apple pie.



Hmm, meat that looks like fish
but tastes like dessert.

You know, Reg,
you're getting better.

Last week, you made pudding
that looked like meat,

but tasted like fish.

Large coffee to go, please.

I need lots of caffeine.
I was awake all night long.

Couldn't sleep, huh?

No, I was up wishing
upon a star.

Yes, I couldn't sleep.
It's been going on for a week.

I wake up in the middle
of the night

and I need to watch TV
to go back to sleep.

So what's the problem?

The problem is
my TV doesn't work.

Ah, that piece
of crap never works.



Look, Becker, as your super,
I'm begging you.

Buy a new one.
When I bring friends

to your apartment,
it's embarrassing.

What?

And get some better snacks, huh?

It's not that bad.

It's temporarily out of order.

Uh, John, my eyes
are temporarily out of order.

Your TV is dead.

Yeah, Becker,
why don't you just get a new TV?

It says here in the paper

that Tech Town
is having a cheap bastard sale.

Oh, sure, you know,
just get a new one.

That's your answer
for everything.

If it doesn't work,
don't fix it.

Just throw it away.

You know, that's the trouble
with our whole society.

Everything's disposable,
you know.

Nothing lasts. Nothing's valued.

And remind me,
if I'm ever on life support,

not to have you in charge
of pulling the plug.

Like I could get to the front
of that line.

Linda, what's going on?

Oh, just the usual patient
stuff:

"My head hurts, my back hurts."
Bunch of whiners.

Is it too much to ask
to have a little coffee

waiting for me when I get in?

Yeah, no kidding.

That's what I said
when I got in.

Fine, I'll make
the damn coffee myself.

Cool. Let me know
when it's ready.

Where is the damn coffee?

Margaret, I can't make coffee
just appear out of nowhere.

I'm not a magician.

Abracadabra.

I take it by
your sunny disposition

and the eight-piece set
of luggage under your eyes

that you didn't sleep
again last night.

No, I didn't.

I've gotten three hours
in the last two days.

I can't... How do you make
this stupid thing work?

Give me that
before someone gets hurt.

And you have a patient in 1.
Who?

Mrs. Recinos.

No, no, not that lunatic.
Not today.

All right,
what's wrong with her?

I mean, that I can fix.

I have no idea.

You didn't ask her?

Mm-mm. I know better.

Hi, Dr. Becker.

Mrs. Recinos, what is it?

You know when you told me
I need to drink

eight glasses of water a day?

Yes.
Well, I'm finding it difficult

to drink all eight glasses
of water.

How about if I drank
seven glasses of water

and ate a big slice
of watermelon?

Would that count?
No.

How about seven glasses of water
and a can of water chestnuts?

No.
How about a water bagel?

No. No, not a water bagel.

Not watercress.
Not a water buffalo.

Just drink the water.

You know, when I go swimming,
I always swallow a little water.

Does that count?

No.

You know, you're probably right,

because when I swim,
I get leg cramps.

Do you have anything for that?

I have some samples
of a new drug that might help.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah, and I'll try to find
something for you too.

Margaret, I need to get
into the drug cabinet.

Give me the key.
I don't have it.

Yes, you do.
I gave it to you yesterday.

And I gave it to Linda.

And I gave it back to you.

No, you didn't.

Do you have any idea
what could happen

if we lose the key
to the drug cabinet?

Our patients would have to buy
all their drugs on the street?

How can you be so irresponsible?
This is important.

I want you to stop doing
what you're doing

and go find the damn key.

Margaret, I want you to phone

this prescription in
for Mrs. Recinos.

And will somebody please
get me some coffee?

I can't function like this.
I can't concentrate.

Look, my hands are shaking.
I barely know where I am.

I'm running on fumes here,
Margaret.

Okay, who's next?

Hey, I'm Clay.
Welcome to Tech Town.

You think tech, think Tech Town.
Totally tech all the time.

That last part was mine.

What can I do for you?

Well, I'm having trouble
with my TV.

Cool. We sell TVs.
We have a full line...

No, no, no,
I don't want a new TV.

Just give me a new one of these.
I'll be on my way.

What is that?

It's a tube.

How old are you?

Hey, listen...

Okay, okay, look,
forget your old TV.

Check this out.

Sixty-one-inch,
HDTV upgradeable,

digital comb filter,
80 watts of audio,

two-tuner picture-in-picture.

Oh, my God.

On sale, only 2600.

Dollars?
Yup.

My car didn't cost $2600.

Now, why doesn't that
surprise me?

Okay, you and I
need to communicate.

Why don't you tell me how much
you're thinking of spending?

I'm not thinking
of spending anything.

But if I were, ahem...

Well, what could I get
for 200 bucks?

Four years of TV Guide.

Now, how about this?

Thirty-six-inch,
full AV and S inputs,

picture-in-picture.
Picture-in-pic...

I can't think
of two things on TV.

I like to watch
in the same week,

let alone at the same time.

Look, I don't want a new TV.

I just want a new one of these
so I can fix my TV.

And it only has one picture.

You know, no inputs,
no surround sound.

One TV, one picture.

Sometimes my boss is,
like, insane.

I swear, every time
I turn around, he's on my ass.

It's like he's everywhere.

Oh, I shouldn't have had
that last margarita.

Give me something,
anything, a picture.

A flicker. Anything.

Ah, thattagirl.

Well...

All right.

Hello?
Hey, Jake, what's up?

Who is this? John?

What the hell,
it's the middle of the night.

No, it's early.
It's like 2:30.

Listen, I was just thinking.

Do you wanna come over
and watch some TV?

Are you crazy?

Yeah, you're right,
you're right.

You've got the big screen.

Hey, I know,
why don't I come over there?

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh, for...

Is John here?
Yep.

What were you thinking,
calling me at 2?

He's at the table, Jake.

Don't you think
about anyone else?

More to your right.

John, okay, other people
have to sleep...

Too far right.

All right,
I know he's here somewhere.

Now, John, I'm only gonna
tell you this once.

You either get yourself
a new TV

or you get a new friend,

because if you pull
this crap again,

I'm gonna come to your house
and club you unconscious.

Oh, would you?
I'd really appreciate it.

Like I could get to
the front of that line.

Yeah, Becker, this no-sleep
thing is getting chronic.

I mean, maybe it's not
just about your TV.

Often, insomnia
is the physical manifestation

of some deep-seated
psychological issue.

Yeah, you see,
this is how bad my insomnia is.

Even your psychobabble
isn't putting me to sleep.

All I'm saying is

there could be something
going on in your subconscious.

Whatever's in my subconscious
is none of my business.

Well, well, I see all the flies

have gathered
around the dumpster.

You know, Bob, you're my super.

I've called you, like,
12 times to fix my window,

so don't give me
any of your lame excuses.

Would my mother having surgery
be a lame excuse?

No, I guess it wouldn't be.

Well, then that's what happened.

Becker, there are other things
you can try to get to sleep.

Yeah, like yoga.
That helps people sleep.

I know it helps Bob relax.

You do yoga?

No, but the girl in 4-C does.

One time Bob got so relaxed,
he fell off her fire escape.

John, you should do
like my grandmother used to do.

She used to take a hot towel,
dip it in lavender,

and then wrap it
around her head.

Yeah, is that the same
grandmother

used to put garlic cloves
in your shoes?

Hey, she was protecting me
from evil spirits.

So we've got yoga and voodoo.
Anything else?

Well, you could get
one of those relaxation tapes

where some boring guy
talks you to sleep.

It's not working now,
why should it work later?

Oh, where is my head? Unh.

John, you look awful.

This is crazy. You can't
function without sleep.

Oh, please, Margaret,
when I was in medical school,

I used to go without sleep
for weeks at a time.

No problem.

And 20 years ago,

I could dance all night
in a halter top and hot pants.

Things change.

Margaret, I'm fine.

You are not fine.

Let me cancel the patients.
Go home and get some sleep.

No, no, no,
don't cancel the sleep.

I'll get some patients soon.

Well, well, well,
guess what I found this morning.

I'm not in the mood
for guessing games. Get up.

Well, then I'll get
right to the point.

It's not so easy when the shoe's
on the other foot, is it?

That can't possibly be
the point.

I'm talking about this.

It's the key to the drug cabinet
that you accused me of losing.

I was home making coffee
this morning,

and I found it
in the same bag of coffee

that you used here yesterday.

What was office coffee
doing at your apartment?

If I hadn't stolen the coffee,

we'd never have found the key.

So the next time you assume
something's my fault,

just remember,
when you "assume,"

you make an ass out of me.

John?

John, Dr. Regozy stopped by.

He wants to talk to you

about that patient
you referred to him.

Oh, but I gotta warn you,

he's a little hard to
understand, so...

Margaret, I'm a doctor.

I know how to talk
to another doctor.

We have our own
medical shorthand.

For God's sake.

Ah.
Ah, Dr. Regozy.

Sorry to...in...neighbourhood

and...wanted...

that Mr. Carver...

I'm sorry. What?

The liver...
is working perfect...

Well, I'm, ahem,
more tired than I thought.

Margaret?
Uh-uh.

Don't look at me. I'm lost
in the medical shorthand.

No, no, no,
it's just...accent.

Sometimes people...
hard time understanding...

Huh. Well, bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Uh, thanks
for dropping by.

I'll do that.
Ha, ha.

Hell of a nice guy.
He left a chart.

Yeah, I know that.
He, uh... He mentioned it.

MAN
The key to a restful sleep

is total relaxation,

easing the tension
in your body,

one muscle at a time.

Let's start with your feet.

All right, okay.

Now relax your calves.

Good. That's good.

Now relax your thighs.

Now, wait a minute,
I didn't say...

Now relax your buttocks.

I don't know which is worse,
you dressed like Norma Desmond

or that some guy's telling you
to relax your ass.

It happens to be
a lavender head wrap.

Oh, my mistake, Coco.

What are you doing here?
Gonna build you a tree house.

What do you think I'm doing?
I'm here to fix your window.

Well, hurry up, will you?
I need to get some sleep.

You're floating on a pillow
of air.

Everything is calm and
peaceful.

Get out, Bob.

I can't stand looking at you.

Come on, Tammy.
You promised I could stay, baby.

It's our honeymoon.

Come on, give me something.

You know, a crappy movie,
an infomercial.

Anything.

Oh, no, don't die.

Come on. Live.
Live, damn it. Live.

I don't believe this.

JAKE
Hi, this is Jake.

Look out the window,
then look in the mirror.

If it's dark outside
and you're John Becker,

do me a favor, go to hell.

Rude, but you've gotta admire
the effort.

Hello?
Hey, Reg.

Huh?

It's Becker. What do you need?

What?

Well, it's 2 in the morning.

You must have wanted something.

I... I didn't call you.

What's the difference?
We're talking.

Yeah. Hey, as long
as you're up,

you mind if I come over
and watch your TV?

How do you know I'm not here
with someone else?

Are you?

Okay, come over.

But this is gonna end tonight.
We're gonna go buy you a new TV.

What, now?

Those places are open all night.

You think you're the only idiot
in New York?

All right, I'll be over
in 20 minutes.

Bob, get out of here, will you?
Go sleep in your own bed.

Okay...

Will you just listen to me?

You know, Bob was there
to fix my window.

He fell asleep on the couch.
That's all.

Hey, don't ask, don't tell.

Hey, look who's back.
And you brought the wife.

She's not my wife.
I'm not his wife.

You mean you're on a date
and you brought her here?

Wow, you are cheap.

We're not on a date.

You know,
she happens to be the...

Why am I explaining
myself to you?

All right, so are you here
to buy a TV this time?

Or are you just gonna take
another peek into the future?

Yes, I wanna buy a TV,
but just a normal one, you know.

No gadgets.
Okay.

How about 36 inches,

picture-in-picture,
on-screen display?

No, I said no gadgets.

But I can't help it, man.
They all do stuff.

Give him a break.
He's just trying to help you.

Thanks, ma'am.
Ma'am?

Skippy, over here.

Look, I want a TV,

but just don't go nuts,
all right?

Okay, man, you broke me.

Here, 27-inch,
discontinued model, 450.

It's too expensive.

Okay. Floor model, 20-inch,

375, out the door.

It's still too much.

I'll kick in 20 bucks of my own.

Please just take it and go.

Becker, what is your problem?

He's practically giving it away.

I don't care. You know,
at least my TV has character.

These TVs have no souls.

And I'll tell you
something else.

I don't like the way
they're looking at me.

Is he okay?

We're gonna need a minute.

Huh. What?

What is going on with you?
Where is this coming from?

I don't... Look,
I just wanna go home, please.

You're not gonna get a TV?

I have a TV.

Your TV's dead. Let it go.

I don't want to.

I've had that TV
ever since I went to college.

You know,
my mother bought it for me.

I've watched the moon landing
on that TV,

the 1969 Mets win the Series,
Nixon's resignation.

You know, lots of good times.

Hold it a second.

Did you say your mother
bought it for you?

Oh, jeez.

You psychology types
hear the word mother

and you start to salivate.

Believe me,
she has nothing to do with it.

Well, maybe she does.

She's gone now, right?

Oh, all right, fine, doctor.

You know, yes.

My mother passed away years ago.

Well, when did your TV
start to break?

Well, I don't know.

Last week, I guess.

And when did you start
losing sleep?

Last week.

Well, did you ever think

that when
your TV started to break,

it might have brought up
a lot of feelings

about your mother?

I mean, maybe you felt
like you were losing

an important connection to her.

Maybe, uh, that's
what's been bothering you

and keeping you awake.

I don't know. Maybe.

I know that
since my father died,

the strangest things
remind me of him.

I mean, it happens all the time.

It's kind of sweet, really.

My...

My mother could barely afford
my tuition,

and she still bought that damn
TV.

You know, I dragged that
through apartments,

dorm rooms, two marriages.

And no matter what changed
in my life,

that-that TV was always
there for me.

Well, you know,
just because you get a new TV,

doesn't mean you have to lose
the memories of your mother.

Yeah, I know.

God, I'm screwed up.
I hate that.

So it was psychological.

I was right.

I hate that even more.

Thank you, but...

Oh, man, you know,
uh, I can buy a TV anytime.

I'm really exhausted.
I need to sleep.

So make a decision?

Think you're gonna
like that one.

Damn Becker.