Beavis and Butt-Head (2022–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - The Day Butt-Head Went Too Far/Spring Break - full transcript
These garbage bags are wet.
I'm gonna slide first,
Butt-Head.
Me first, yeah.
This is going to be cool.
Uh, okay.
Okay. Here we go. Heh heh.
Wait a minute. Hang on.
I better back up so I
can get a running start.
I'm gonna back up some more
so I can go really fast.
Hurry up, dumbass.
We don't have all day.
- Heh heh heh.
- Okay.
Okay, here goes.
Go, butt-monkey, go.
That kicked ass!
Uh... get up.
It's my turn, dumbass.
Uh, are you, like,
dead or something?
Uh, oh, well.
I guess I'll never know.
Oh, no.
Ow.
Whoa.
Ow, ow!
That's, like, the
worst sunburn I ever saw.
I know. Heh.
It, like, hurts and stuff.
I'm sorry, Beavis.
That must be very painful.
Come on.
Don't touch my sunburn, please.
Uh, okay.
Aah!
I didn't touch it. I slapped it.
- Damn it, Butt-Head.
- Cut it out!
Uh, all right.
Oh, no. It's a mosquito.
Oh, no. Where is it?
It landed on you, Beavis.
Oh, really?
Would you, like,
slap it or something?
Because I don't want it
to bite me on my sunburn...
Uh, wait, no!
Aaaaah!
Got it.
Butt-Head, I'm only gonna
tell you this once.
I know I've said I'm gonna
kill you before,
and then I didn't kill you.
But if you ever do that again,
so help me God,
I am going to, for real,
seriously, going to kill...
Aaaaaah!
No!
Aaaaah!
Dumbass.
Well, see you later, Beavis.
Aaaaaaaaaah!
Good luck with the sunburn.
I warned him,
and he did not listen.
So now Butt-Head
is going to die.
How am I
going to kill Butt-Head?
Let's see.
I don't think I've ever
done any murders before,
so I'm gonna have
to hire a hitman.
Yeah. Let's see.
What's a hitman look like?
Probably looks like that
guy in "Goodfellas," yeah.
I don't remember
that movie that well,
but I think that guy
lived on that street,
and he had, like,
a tie all the time.
Um... yeah, yeah, like this guy.
Hey, how's it going?
Hee hee hee.
Uh, hello.
I'm looking for someone
to do a little job for me,
if you know what I'm saying.
I stole this picture from
Butt-Head's uncle's house,
so don't tell anyone.
Do I know you?
My name isn't important.
Now, let me ask you,
can you do this job or not?
If you've got a job needs doing,
why don't you go to
the Home Warehouse?
Plenty of people there
looking for a job.
Yeah, that kicks ass. Yeah.
Yeah, that's going to be cool.
Hee hee hee.
Okay, this looks like the place.
Hee hee hee hee.
I was told someone in here
could do a job for me.
Maybe. What kinda job
we talking about?
Here's a picture.
It's from Butt-Head's
uncle's house.
- Oh, yeah.
- This really needs it.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
He slapped my sunburn and stuff.
Wow. Now, no offense,
but you should have
taken care of this years ago.
- Yeah, really!
- Yeah, no kidding.
You know how many
square feet we're talking?
- I don't know.
- He's got, like, two, you know.
They're just, like,
normal foot shape.
- I don't know what you're...
- 2,000?
That's about right. Okay.
The whole thing'll
take about four days.
Yeah, good. Yeah.
I want it to be slow, yeah.
Heh heh heh.
Oh, almost forgot. What color?
- Uh, I don't know.
- I guess, um...
I guess white, or something?
Let me text my guys.
I'm not racist, I just
want to kill my friend!
Jesus Christ.
All right. So I'll see you
tomorrow at 8:00?
Oh, I'll be there, yeah.
I want to watch the whole thing.
Butt-Head is going to die.
Hee hee heh heh.
But here, we don't.
Welcome to Montero.
Uh, I think this is
supposed to be like
that garden in the Bible.
Where that chick Eve, or Eden,
or whatever her name is
eats that fruit that
she wasn't supposed to.
And then it, like,
puts a curse on the Earth.
Yeah, see, that's one of
those stories
that has a moral, you know.
And the moral is fruit sucks.
- Yeah. Hee hee.
- Yeah.
And so do gardens.
Uh, then remember that
other part of the story
where, like, God takes
the rib out of that dude
and makes a chick?
You know, if I could do that,
I would have no rib cage.
Yeah, neither would I.
I'd just be a big blob of flesh
with a bunch of chicks
around me and no bones.
Hee hee hee.
Except I'd still have one bone.
You know, Lil Nas X
could probably score
with any chick in this video
that he wanted to, you know?
Heh heh. And he definitely
wants to, yeah.
- He's all about the ladies.
- Heh heh heh.
Did you know the X in Lil Nas X
stands for extremely
interested in chicks?
Wait, who's that?
Is that Satan?
No, it's Darth Maul. Heh heh.
Satan is like part
of the Marvel universe.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, remember that time that guy
wanted you to be a Satanist?
And then he said he'd take
you to the Satanic Church,
but it was just a room
over his mom's garage?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I thought there would
be, like, naked chicks
and like blood and stuff.
But he just wanted to sit around
and talk about low taxes and...
And libertarianism or
something, I don't know.
It's like, that's not evil.
It's just stupid.
And it's also boring, Beavis.
And I don't wanna
hear about it, either.
So shut up.
Oh, and-and remind me
to tell you later
what he said about
who controls the media.
You'd be surprised.
It's not who you think.
Oh, and, oh, you know what else?
Um, did you know that
7-11 was an inside job?
They don't want you
to know that.
They suck.
Look at him,
being all alive and stuff.
But today, he will be murdered.
Get me more Count Chocula,
butthole.
Hee hee hee.
Um, Butt-Head, ha, whatever
happens, just know that I'm...
I'm like, sorry, or something.
You're gonna be sorry
if you don't get me
some Count Chocula.
You know, it just... it had
to be this way, you know.
You know what I'm saying?
I... I had no choice.
What have I done?
It's kinda like
messed up or something.
Heh heh heh.
He said evacuate.
Damn it,
I don't think I can do this.
Stop, stop!
I-I changed my mind, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
- Don't do it.
- It's not worth it.
What are you talking about, man?
I came out here with my truck
and my whole crew.
Jesus Christ, what were you
gonna do to him?
- He's just one guy.
- Hey, man.
If you're canceling, I still
need my commencement check.
- How much is that?
- Like $5.00, or something?
No, 2,000!
Listen, you give me my
commencement check now,
or I'm gonna kick your ass!
Uh, what the hell's
going on out here?
I'm saving your life, Butt-Head.
Go back inside
while you still can!
Hee hee.
Uh, if you guys are
gonna beat up Beavis,
slap him on his sunburn.
He hates it. Heh heh.
Uh, wait-wait a minute, what?
And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
Hey, no, no. No!
Aaaaaah!
- No, no, no, wait, wait...
- Do it again.
Aah! No!
Aah!
No!
Hello. I'm Tom Anderson,
veteran of two foreign wars.
And believe you me,
I've got some stories to tell.
But none of them
are quite like what happened
one particular morning
during the Battle
of Heartbreak Ridge.
See, what you got here is
the wipers are all seized up.
If one wiper worked, I'd say
maybe this loosened up on you.
You could just
tighten this down.
But I'd wager we're dealing
with a mechanical issue here.
Sir, we have to
get to the battle.
You can win this war quick,
or you can win this war right.
Now, of course,
I could get this off
if the last guy who fixed it
hadn't stripped the threads.
Oh, boy.
- Sir...
- Uh, now you get
200 miles down the road
and it starts raining on you,
you're gonna be thanking me.
Bingo!
Now, inside the wiper motor
there's what I call
a park switch.
Yep, totally shot.
And I ended up having to
replace the whole wiper motor.
But that little tale
will have to wait
for another one of
Tom Anderson's War Stories.
And that's the reason
why human beings
have teeth in their mouth
and not in their buttholes.
- Oh, yeah?
- I never knew why that was.
Wow. Hee hee hee.
You're pretty smart, Butt-Head.
Heh heh heh.
Yeah. Ha ha.
Uh, Butt-Head,
the school is closed.
Ha. What's going on?
Uh... hmm.
It must be like
spring break or something.
Isn't spring break when
everyone, like, parties
on the beach and stuff?
How come we never do that?
Uh, I think you
got to go to, like,
the Jersey Shore or something.
Where's the Jersey Shore?
- Uh, I think it's in Florida.
- Hee hee hee.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, cool. Heh.
So like, um, how do
you get to Florida?
Uh...
I think most people go
with their bros or something.
Oh, cool, yeah. Hee hee.
Do we have bros?
Uh... no. Ha ha.
I think we're, like,
too cool or something.
Whoa.
Beavis, I think I just
thought of the coolest way
- to get to Florida.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Okay, Beavis.
We're gonna mail ourselves
to spring break.
Hee hee hee hee.
This is gonna be cool.
Spring break, here we come.
Just gotta put a stamp on it.
Aah!
Hurry up, I think
I hear the mail truck.
We're gonna party.
Spring break, here we come.
I can't believe
this actually worked.
And it only cost $0.58.
Uh, are we almost to
Florida, Butt-Head?
Uh... we better be,
or this mailman
is a real butthole.
Uh...
Ahh... heh heh.
Uh, whoa.
Heh heh. Florida's even cooler
than I thought.
Yeah. Feels really good
to be on the beach, you know?
Boy, the ocean really
smells terrible, doesn't it?
It's all the dumbass fish.
Well, um, where are all
the chicks, Butt-Head?
Uh, I think they all sleep late,
because they're tired
from scoring all night.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right.
Well, when they wake up,
they're gonna wanna see
a gun show.
So let's get down to it.
Here we go. Heh.
Come and get it. Yeah.
I'm just gonna lay down
here and catch me some rays.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, this is the life. Ow!
Ah!
I got, like, a nail in my back.
Ah! Ha.
This place just gets
cooler and cooler.
Ha ha. Now, let's go find some
Jell-O shots or something.
Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, spring break kicks ass.
- Yeah.
Today we are visiting
the Reptile Discovery Center,
located in DeLand, Florida.
This location is also
a Medtoxin Venom Laboratory.
- Good morning, Carl.
- Coyote, how you doing?
- Welcome.
- Good, how are you?
- Thank you for coming.
- Mara.
Hey, Coyote. Welcome.
Oh, God. His name is Coyote?
Coyote is, like, Native American
for "lives in his car."
We have the capability
to really pile it out...
- Oh, my gosh.
- When they need to.
We are returning these snakes
to their natural habitat,
a plastic box
from the Container Store.
Yeah, no, no, the snakes
really like it in there.
They do, yeah.
Check it out, Butt-Head.
You know what I
don't understand?
When they put the containers
in the Container Store,
what do they put them in?
Because, um... because
you know, really,
the Container Store itself
is a container, you know?
Hee hee hee.
What's with these people,
you know?
Heh heh heh heh.
Uh, are you trying to be funny?
Yeah. Yeah, I am. Heh heh heh.
I'm still working
it out a little bit,
you know what I mean?
You can store things
in the container,
and they sell it
at the Container Store.
What's that about?
Heh heh heh.
What about that, is that...
Well, there's something
there, you know 'cause... ha.
Because a store, you know,
and the container...
Let's see here.
Yeah.
So the container was in the...
- Uh...
- There's a...
What are you writing?
Oh this?
Oh, it's just a picture
of a schlong, see?
You know, it's like a
note to myself, you know.
I hope this snake
bites you... hee hee...
so you'll die.
Oh, yeah.
Wow, that is a big
eastern diamondback!
I think I just went
to the bathroom
in my pants a little bit. Holy...
There's a bathroom in his pants?
He went to the
bathroom in his pants
- more than a little bit.
- Whoa!
Yeah, yeah. The whole top part
of his pants is soaked.
I'm just going to
go like this, and...
I guess it's good to have
a bathroom in your pants
if you live in your car,
you know.
Heh heh heh heh.
Oh, wait a second.
Wait, I think
I got something here. Heh.
Yeah, yeah, you know,
there's a bathroom in my pants,
and I'm in the
Container Store, so my...
No, that's not it.
Oh, oh, yeah.
My pants contain a bathroom.
It's a container of...
Of pee, or something.
I-I'll work it out later
on the road, you know.
But, um, heh, wanna...
yeah, but there's
something here.
This is good, yeah.
Gotta draw another schlong
here so I won't forget.
Now, Butt-Head, how come
there's still no chicks
here at spring break? Hee hee.
They'll be here soon, Beavis.
And when they get here, they're
gonna wanna chicken fight
with two hot dudes in the pool.
And then everyone
falls in the water,
and one thing
leads to another...
Oh, yeah. Ha.
Um, Butt-Head?
The water's, like, stinging
my legs really bad.
Uh, do you need
another Jell-O shot?
Uh, I don't think that
was Jell-O, 'cause it was,
like, in an old milk carton.
And it was, like, gray.
Uh, I think it was gray
'cause it had
so much vodka in it.
Then I guess
I'll have another one.
But, um, but Butt-Head, um,
what if the chicks
aren't coming?
What if they're at
a different beach,
having a wet T-shirt contest
or a foam party or something,
and we're missing it?
Damn it, that butthole mailman
took us to the wrong beach.
Ugh. Oh, boy.
Well, Jersey Shore has gotta
be around here somewhere.
Whoa, Butt-Head!
Let's take that car
to Jersey Shore.
Oh, yeah. Hee hee.
Arrive in style.
In our new set of wheels, yeah.
Uh, chicks, here we come.
Do you think it'll start?
Who cares? Heh heh.
When the chicks see that
we have our own car,
it won't even matter if it runs.
Whoa!
Whoa, here we go! It works.
And I think it's flying, too.
Yeah.
Beavis, we are on our way
to party our asses off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Spring break kicks ass.
Yeah. Heh heh.
Ladies, here we come.
Chirp.
I'm gonna slide first,
Butt-Head.
Me first, yeah.
This is going to be cool.
Uh, okay.
Okay. Here we go. Heh heh.
Wait a minute. Hang on.
I better back up so I
can get a running start.
I'm gonna back up some more
so I can go really fast.
Hurry up, dumbass.
We don't have all day.
- Heh heh heh.
- Okay.
Okay, here goes.
Go, butt-monkey, go.
That kicked ass!
Uh... get up.
It's my turn, dumbass.
Uh, are you, like,
dead or something?
Uh, oh, well.
I guess I'll never know.
Oh, no.
Ow.
Whoa.
Ow, ow!
That's, like, the
worst sunburn I ever saw.
I know. Heh.
It, like, hurts and stuff.
I'm sorry, Beavis.
That must be very painful.
Come on.
Don't touch my sunburn, please.
Uh, okay.
Aah!
I didn't touch it. I slapped it.
- Damn it, Butt-Head.
- Cut it out!
Uh, all right.
Oh, no. It's a mosquito.
Oh, no. Where is it?
It landed on you, Beavis.
Oh, really?
Would you, like,
slap it or something?
Because I don't want it
to bite me on my sunburn...
Uh, wait, no!
Aaaaah!
Got it.
Butt-Head, I'm only gonna
tell you this once.
I know I've said I'm gonna
kill you before,
and then I didn't kill you.
But if you ever do that again,
so help me God,
I am going to, for real,
seriously, going to kill...
Aaaaaah!
No!
Aaaaah!
Dumbass.
Well, see you later, Beavis.
Aaaaaaaaaah!
Good luck with the sunburn.
I warned him,
and he did not listen.
So now Butt-Head
is going to die.
How am I
going to kill Butt-Head?
Let's see.
I don't think I've ever
done any murders before,
so I'm gonna have
to hire a hitman.
Yeah. Let's see.
What's a hitman look like?
Probably looks like that
guy in "Goodfellas," yeah.
I don't remember
that movie that well,
but I think that guy
lived on that street,
and he had, like,
a tie all the time.
Um... yeah, yeah, like this guy.
Hey, how's it going?
Hee hee hee.
Uh, hello.
I'm looking for someone
to do a little job for me,
if you know what I'm saying.
I stole this picture from
Butt-Head's uncle's house,
so don't tell anyone.
Do I know you?
My name isn't important.
Now, let me ask you,
can you do this job or not?
If you've got a job needs doing,
why don't you go to
the Home Warehouse?
Plenty of people there
looking for a job.
Yeah, that kicks ass. Yeah.
Yeah, that's going to be cool.
Hee hee hee.
Okay, this looks like the place.
Hee hee hee hee.
I was told someone in here
could do a job for me.
Maybe. What kinda job
we talking about?
Here's a picture.
It's from Butt-Head's
uncle's house.
- Oh, yeah.
- This really needs it.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
He slapped my sunburn and stuff.
Wow. Now, no offense,
but you should have
taken care of this years ago.
- Yeah, really!
- Yeah, no kidding.
You know how many
square feet we're talking?
- I don't know.
- He's got, like, two, you know.
They're just, like,
normal foot shape.
- I don't know what you're...
- 2,000?
That's about right. Okay.
The whole thing'll
take about four days.
Yeah, good. Yeah.
I want it to be slow, yeah.
Heh heh heh.
Oh, almost forgot. What color?
- Uh, I don't know.
- I guess, um...
I guess white, or something?
Let me text my guys.
I'm not racist, I just
want to kill my friend!
Jesus Christ.
All right. So I'll see you
tomorrow at 8:00?
Oh, I'll be there, yeah.
I want to watch the whole thing.
Butt-Head is going to die.
Hee hee heh heh.
But here, we don't.
Welcome to Montero.
Uh, I think this is
supposed to be like
that garden in the Bible.
Where that chick Eve, or Eden,
or whatever her name is
eats that fruit that
she wasn't supposed to.
And then it, like,
puts a curse on the Earth.
Yeah, see, that's one of
those stories
that has a moral, you know.
And the moral is fruit sucks.
- Yeah. Hee hee.
- Yeah.
And so do gardens.
Uh, then remember that
other part of the story
where, like, God takes
the rib out of that dude
and makes a chick?
You know, if I could do that,
I would have no rib cage.
Yeah, neither would I.
I'd just be a big blob of flesh
with a bunch of chicks
around me and no bones.
Hee hee hee.
Except I'd still have one bone.
You know, Lil Nas X
could probably score
with any chick in this video
that he wanted to, you know?
Heh heh. And he definitely
wants to, yeah.
- He's all about the ladies.
- Heh heh heh.
Did you know the X in Lil Nas X
stands for extremely
interested in chicks?
Wait, who's that?
Is that Satan?
No, it's Darth Maul. Heh heh.
Satan is like part
of the Marvel universe.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, remember that time that guy
wanted you to be a Satanist?
And then he said he'd take
you to the Satanic Church,
but it was just a room
over his mom's garage?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I thought there would
be, like, naked chicks
and like blood and stuff.
But he just wanted to sit around
and talk about low taxes and...
And libertarianism or
something, I don't know.
It's like, that's not evil.
It's just stupid.
And it's also boring, Beavis.
And I don't wanna
hear about it, either.
So shut up.
Oh, and-and remind me
to tell you later
what he said about
who controls the media.
You'd be surprised.
It's not who you think.
Oh, and, oh, you know what else?
Um, did you know that
7-11 was an inside job?
They don't want you
to know that.
They suck.
Look at him,
being all alive and stuff.
But today, he will be murdered.
Get me more Count Chocula,
butthole.
Hee hee hee.
Um, Butt-Head, ha, whatever
happens, just know that I'm...
I'm like, sorry, or something.
You're gonna be sorry
if you don't get me
some Count Chocula.
You know, it just... it had
to be this way, you know.
You know what I'm saying?
I... I had no choice.
What have I done?
It's kinda like
messed up or something.
Heh heh heh.
He said evacuate.
Damn it,
I don't think I can do this.
Stop, stop!
I-I changed my mind, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
- Don't do it.
- It's not worth it.
What are you talking about, man?
I came out here with my truck
and my whole crew.
Jesus Christ, what were you
gonna do to him?
- He's just one guy.
- Hey, man.
If you're canceling, I still
need my commencement check.
- How much is that?
- Like $5.00, or something?
No, 2,000!
Listen, you give me my
commencement check now,
or I'm gonna kick your ass!
Uh, what the hell's
going on out here?
I'm saving your life, Butt-Head.
Go back inside
while you still can!
Hee hee.
Uh, if you guys are
gonna beat up Beavis,
slap him on his sunburn.
He hates it. Heh heh.
Uh, wait-wait a minute, what?
And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
Hey, no, no. No!
Aaaaaah!
- No, no, no, wait, wait...
- Do it again.
Aah! No!
Aah!
No!
Hello. I'm Tom Anderson,
veteran of two foreign wars.
And believe you me,
I've got some stories to tell.
But none of them
are quite like what happened
one particular morning
during the Battle
of Heartbreak Ridge.
See, what you got here is
the wipers are all seized up.
If one wiper worked, I'd say
maybe this loosened up on you.
You could just
tighten this down.
But I'd wager we're dealing
with a mechanical issue here.
Sir, we have to
get to the battle.
You can win this war quick,
or you can win this war right.
Now, of course,
I could get this off
if the last guy who fixed it
hadn't stripped the threads.
Oh, boy.
- Sir...
- Uh, now you get
200 miles down the road
and it starts raining on you,
you're gonna be thanking me.
Bingo!
Now, inside the wiper motor
there's what I call
a park switch.
Yep, totally shot.
And I ended up having to
replace the whole wiper motor.
But that little tale
will have to wait
for another one of
Tom Anderson's War Stories.
And that's the reason
why human beings
have teeth in their mouth
and not in their buttholes.
- Oh, yeah?
- I never knew why that was.
Wow. Hee hee hee.
You're pretty smart, Butt-Head.
Heh heh heh.
Yeah. Ha ha.
Uh, Butt-Head,
the school is closed.
Ha. What's going on?
Uh... hmm.
It must be like
spring break or something.
Isn't spring break when
everyone, like, parties
on the beach and stuff?
How come we never do that?
Uh, I think you
got to go to, like,
the Jersey Shore or something.
Where's the Jersey Shore?
- Uh, I think it's in Florida.
- Hee hee hee.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, cool. Heh.
So like, um, how do
you get to Florida?
Uh...
I think most people go
with their bros or something.
Oh, cool, yeah. Hee hee.
Do we have bros?
Uh... no. Ha ha.
I think we're, like,
too cool or something.
Whoa.
Beavis, I think I just
thought of the coolest way
- to get to Florida.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Okay, Beavis.
We're gonna mail ourselves
to spring break.
Hee hee hee hee.
This is gonna be cool.
Spring break, here we come.
Just gotta put a stamp on it.
Aah!
Hurry up, I think
I hear the mail truck.
We're gonna party.
Spring break, here we come.
I can't believe
this actually worked.
And it only cost $0.58.
Uh, are we almost to
Florida, Butt-Head?
Uh... we better be,
or this mailman
is a real butthole.
Uh...
Ahh... heh heh.
Uh, whoa.
Heh heh. Florida's even cooler
than I thought.
Yeah. Feels really good
to be on the beach, you know?
Boy, the ocean really
smells terrible, doesn't it?
It's all the dumbass fish.
Well, um, where are all
the chicks, Butt-Head?
Uh, I think they all sleep late,
because they're tired
from scoring all night.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right.
Well, when they wake up,
they're gonna wanna see
a gun show.
So let's get down to it.
Here we go. Heh.
Come and get it. Yeah.
I'm just gonna lay down
here and catch me some rays.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, this is the life. Ow!
Ah!
I got, like, a nail in my back.
Ah! Ha.
This place just gets
cooler and cooler.
Ha ha. Now, let's go find some
Jell-O shots or something.
Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, spring break kicks ass.
- Yeah.
Today we are visiting
the Reptile Discovery Center,
located in DeLand, Florida.
This location is also
a Medtoxin Venom Laboratory.
- Good morning, Carl.
- Coyote, how you doing?
- Welcome.
- Good, how are you?
- Thank you for coming.
- Mara.
Hey, Coyote. Welcome.
Oh, God. His name is Coyote?
Coyote is, like, Native American
for "lives in his car."
We have the capability
to really pile it out...
- Oh, my gosh.
- When they need to.
We are returning these snakes
to their natural habitat,
a plastic box
from the Container Store.
Yeah, no, no, the snakes
really like it in there.
They do, yeah.
Check it out, Butt-Head.
You know what I
don't understand?
When they put the containers
in the Container Store,
what do they put them in?
Because, um... because
you know, really,
the Container Store itself
is a container, you know?
Hee hee hee.
What's with these people,
you know?
Heh heh heh heh.
Uh, are you trying to be funny?
Yeah. Yeah, I am. Heh heh heh.
I'm still working
it out a little bit,
you know what I mean?
You can store things
in the container,
and they sell it
at the Container Store.
What's that about?
Heh heh heh.
What about that, is that...
Well, there's something
there, you know 'cause... ha.
Because a store, you know,
and the container...
Let's see here.
Yeah.
So the container was in the...
- Uh...
- There's a...
What are you writing?
Oh this?
Oh, it's just a picture
of a schlong, see?
You know, it's like a
note to myself, you know.
I hope this snake
bites you... hee hee...
so you'll die.
Oh, yeah.
Wow, that is a big
eastern diamondback!
I think I just went
to the bathroom
in my pants a little bit. Holy...
There's a bathroom in his pants?
He went to the
bathroom in his pants
- more than a little bit.
- Whoa!
Yeah, yeah. The whole top part
of his pants is soaked.
I'm just going to
go like this, and...
I guess it's good to have
a bathroom in your pants
if you live in your car,
you know.
Heh heh heh heh.
Oh, wait a second.
Wait, I think
I got something here. Heh.
Yeah, yeah, you know,
there's a bathroom in my pants,
and I'm in the
Container Store, so my...
No, that's not it.
Oh, oh, yeah.
My pants contain a bathroom.
It's a container of...
Of pee, or something.
I-I'll work it out later
on the road, you know.
But, um, heh, wanna...
yeah, but there's
something here.
This is good, yeah.
Gotta draw another schlong
here so I won't forget.
Now, Butt-Head, how come
there's still no chicks
here at spring break? Hee hee.
They'll be here soon, Beavis.
And when they get here, they're
gonna wanna chicken fight
with two hot dudes in the pool.
And then everyone
falls in the water,
and one thing
leads to another...
Oh, yeah. Ha.
Um, Butt-Head?
The water's, like, stinging
my legs really bad.
Uh, do you need
another Jell-O shot?
Uh, I don't think that
was Jell-O, 'cause it was,
like, in an old milk carton.
And it was, like, gray.
Uh, I think it was gray
'cause it had
so much vodka in it.
Then I guess
I'll have another one.
But, um, but Butt-Head, um,
what if the chicks
aren't coming?
What if they're at
a different beach,
having a wet T-shirt contest
or a foam party or something,
and we're missing it?
Damn it, that butthole mailman
took us to the wrong beach.
Ugh. Oh, boy.
Well, Jersey Shore has gotta
be around here somewhere.
Whoa, Butt-Head!
Let's take that car
to Jersey Shore.
Oh, yeah. Hee hee.
Arrive in style.
In our new set of wheels, yeah.
Uh, chicks, here we come.
Do you think it'll start?
Who cares? Heh heh.
When the chicks see that
we have our own car,
it won't even matter if it runs.
Whoa!
Whoa, here we go! It works.
And I think it's flying, too.
Yeah.
Beavis, we are on our way
to party our asses off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Spring break kicks ass.
Yeah. Heh heh.
Ladies, here we come.
Chirp.