Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011): Season 2, Episode 6 - Babes R Us - full transcript
Beavis and Butt-Head are determined to get inside Babes R Us, an adult club where patrons get to wrestle with gorgeous women in the mud.
Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
AT THE
SIDESHOW
I think birth control is a
very important issue in a women's life...
I'm looking at all the options and...
One week only! The
Stench Brothers traveling carnival!
Rides! Games!
That's stupid.
One for all!
If you're dead.
And the nastiest freaks
you'll ever see in this lifetime.
Wow, maybe they got one
of those dudes with 2 butts.
Yeah,
that would be cool.
We're there dude.
- Wow, these chicks are pretty tough.
- Yeah, I didn't know that girls were cool.
Wow,
check it out where is his penis?
It's in his hand
where it always is.
These guys are pretty cool.
- Even know there are 60.
- Yeah, that one guy is 69.
- He looks like Vanilli.
- Yeah.
- Hit him! Hit him! Hit him!
- Yeah.
- Just keep playing.
- Yeah.
Everything is cool.
- Uh, that sucked.
- Yeah he should've waited longer.
Yeah.
- Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Cool
- Airbag suck.
- Yeah.
Step right up
and see the gorilla boy...
- Once an ordinary everyday teenager.
- This suck's.
and now he is a football star.
Come right in here, folks.
Come on. See the half and half-women man.
Born with 2 perfect and infunctioning
sets of gender organs.
Folks, he is never lonely
on Saturday night.
Check this out.
Excuse me, sir.
Which way is the dude with 2 butts?
Hey, get lost!
That was cool.
She takes her legs behind the head
and walks on her hands
She twists and
turns like a human pretzel.
Fellas, a public promenade is
no place to describe what else she does.
But let me put it in this way:
the little lady bends north, south,
east, west and all points in between.
Born without a solid bone in her body
she's the rubber band lady.
- Wow, that looks cool.
- I'm there dude.
- Wow, cup a feel.
- Yeah.
Dude, I'm pitching a tent.
Thank you very much, folks.
Step to the left.
Plenty of other attractions still open.
Move it, folks.
Thank you, get out!
- We can't leave, dude.
- Yeah, we gotta meet this chick.
Come on in boys.
Now, why didn't you, boys, tell
me what brings you back here?
We wanna know how
you do that stuff.
- I'm double-jointed, hon.
- Double-jointed?
Come on, boys, I ain't got all night.
How do you want it?
Want what?
Come on, sonny,
nobody is that stupid.
Tell me what's your
pleasure and we'll negotiate.
What do you like, boys?
What do you like?
I like to blow up lizards.
Yeah,
I like to burn stuff.
These roobs bothering you, Tiffany?
- Wow, it's that gorilla dude.
- Yeah.
Their indecisiveness is
cutting in my work day.
Look, this is your
lucky day, fellas. Capish?
You seen the act, the lady does things
with the body,
that you still dream about when you are
95 and can't hold your water.
But she is short on patience and don't
like being joked around.
So, you got a special trick in mind
let's hear it, now!
- What..yeah.
- Yeah...maybe.
- That would be cool.
- That would be cool, yeah.
Could you pick your
butt with your nose?
Hey, where is Tito?
Isn't that jamain dude?
They are in a rubber.
Yeah.
This should've been a Super Bowl
half time show.
- Yeah, there would've been cool.
- Yeah.
They could've had anybody
get inside a big rubber.
Hey, Beavis, guess
where his hands been.
Yeah.
Where's Tito?
Tito!
Tito is cool.
Yeah,
Tito rules.
- He used to be in the "Village People".
- Yeah.
- This is torture. Change it.
- Yeah.
This is a very gay tune.
- Yeah, you mean, like, happy.
- Yeah.
- Hey, it's "Teddy Gibson".
- Yeah.
You are man?
- No way.
- He is not even a boy.
He is Boy George.
This video needs some,
like, car accidents.
Yeah, yeah
with lots of fire.
Then it would be cool.
Hey, Beavis,
is this suppose to be, like, in the future?
Yeah,
the future sucks.
Change it.
I'm pretty cool, Beavis.
But I can't change the future.
Experience an unforgettable lesson in
mother nature's cruel sense of humour,
I know you've seen Siamese twins,
I know you've seen geeks,
butt heads of chickens.
But not since the collapse,
South Korea's Mung Dynasty
in the year 467 BC.
As the world seen the rare and
terrifying combination,
of chicken head butting
Siamese twin geeks.
- This costume sucks
- Yeah.
Ow, watch it, dude.
You're pulling my stitches.
Sorry.
Pass the ketchup, dude.
- This reminds me of "The love boat".
- Yeah.
Remember that time
"Kristy McNichol" was on?
Yeah, Pickrel did the wild thing.
And then captain Stubing got her.
- This video is confusing.
- Yeah. It's all, like, complicated.
- This video is over my head.
- Yeah. It's under my butt.
I don't like videos that suck.
Yeah,
me too.
- What is this commercial for?
- It's that deodorant commercial.
- Yeah that's 'cause this guy stinks.
- Yeah and he suck too.
Hey, Butt-Head,
isn't that dude,
- On some soap opera?
- Yeah.
He is on
"As the world sucks"
This video should have
a warning label:
"Parental advisory:
what you about to see sucks".
Yeah, yeah ... sucks.
Let's see if we can find a video
that, like, doesn't suck.
That's pretty cool, Beavis.
You should be one of those synthesisers.
Yeah, yeah...yeah.
- Wow, it's that Paul Shaffer dude.
- Yeah, matching.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yes!
- Harder! Harder!
Check it out: they punch the guy
and they bringing the dancing chicks.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Interigation is cool.
- I didn't know you know any big words.
I do and the words are cool.
Like Diarrhea.
And, like, Recreation.
Yeah,
and feminapiouse tubio.
Wow.
- That was pretty cool, Beavis.
- Yeah.
---
AT THE
SIDESHOW
I think birth control is a
very important issue in a women's life...
I'm looking at all the options and...
One week only! The
Stench Brothers traveling carnival!
Rides! Games!
That's stupid.
One for all!
If you're dead.
And the nastiest freaks
you'll ever see in this lifetime.
Wow, maybe they got one
of those dudes with 2 butts.
Yeah,
that would be cool.
We're there dude.
- Wow, these chicks are pretty tough.
- Yeah, I didn't know that girls were cool.
Wow,
check it out where is his penis?
It's in his hand
where it always is.
These guys are pretty cool.
- Even know there are 60.
- Yeah, that one guy is 69.
- He looks like Vanilli.
- Yeah.
- Hit him! Hit him! Hit him!
- Yeah.
- Just keep playing.
- Yeah.
Everything is cool.
- Uh, that sucked.
- Yeah he should've waited longer.
Yeah.
- Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Cool
- Airbag suck.
- Yeah.
Step right up
and see the gorilla boy...
- Once an ordinary everyday teenager.
- This suck's.
and now he is a football star.
Come right in here, folks.
Come on. See the half and half-women man.
Born with 2 perfect and infunctioning
sets of gender organs.
Folks, he is never lonely
on Saturday night.
Check this out.
Excuse me, sir.
Which way is the dude with 2 butts?
Hey, get lost!
That was cool.
She takes her legs behind the head
and walks on her hands
She twists and
turns like a human pretzel.
Fellas, a public promenade is
no place to describe what else she does.
But let me put it in this way:
the little lady bends north, south,
east, west and all points in between.
Born without a solid bone in her body
she's the rubber band lady.
- Wow, that looks cool.
- I'm there dude.
- Wow, cup a feel.
- Yeah.
Dude, I'm pitching a tent.
Thank you very much, folks.
Step to the left.
Plenty of other attractions still open.
Move it, folks.
Thank you, get out!
- We can't leave, dude.
- Yeah, we gotta meet this chick.
Come on in boys.
Now, why didn't you, boys, tell
me what brings you back here?
We wanna know how
you do that stuff.
- I'm double-jointed, hon.
- Double-jointed?
Come on, boys, I ain't got all night.
How do you want it?
Want what?
Come on, sonny,
nobody is that stupid.
Tell me what's your
pleasure and we'll negotiate.
What do you like, boys?
What do you like?
I like to blow up lizards.
Yeah,
I like to burn stuff.
These roobs bothering you, Tiffany?
- Wow, it's that gorilla dude.
- Yeah.
Their indecisiveness is
cutting in my work day.
Look, this is your
lucky day, fellas. Capish?
You seen the act, the lady does things
with the body,
that you still dream about when you are
95 and can't hold your water.
But she is short on patience and don't
like being joked around.
So, you got a special trick in mind
let's hear it, now!
- What..yeah.
- Yeah...maybe.
- That would be cool.
- That would be cool, yeah.
Could you pick your
butt with your nose?
Hey, where is Tito?
Isn't that jamain dude?
They are in a rubber.
Yeah.
This should've been a Super Bowl
half time show.
- Yeah, there would've been cool.
- Yeah.
They could've had anybody
get inside a big rubber.
Hey, Beavis, guess
where his hands been.
Yeah.
Where's Tito?
Tito!
Tito is cool.
Yeah,
Tito rules.
- He used to be in the "Village People".
- Yeah.
- This is torture. Change it.
- Yeah.
This is a very gay tune.
- Yeah, you mean, like, happy.
- Yeah.
- Hey, it's "Teddy Gibson".
- Yeah.
You are man?
- No way.
- He is not even a boy.
He is Boy George.
This video needs some,
like, car accidents.
Yeah, yeah
with lots of fire.
Then it would be cool.
Hey, Beavis,
is this suppose to be, like, in the future?
Yeah,
the future sucks.
Change it.
I'm pretty cool, Beavis.
But I can't change the future.
Experience an unforgettable lesson in
mother nature's cruel sense of humour,
I know you've seen Siamese twins,
I know you've seen geeks,
butt heads of chickens.
But not since the collapse,
South Korea's Mung Dynasty
in the year 467 BC.
As the world seen the rare and
terrifying combination,
of chicken head butting
Siamese twin geeks.
- This costume sucks
- Yeah.
Ow, watch it, dude.
You're pulling my stitches.
Sorry.
Pass the ketchup, dude.
- This reminds me of "The love boat".
- Yeah.
Remember that time
"Kristy McNichol" was on?
Yeah, Pickrel did the wild thing.
And then captain Stubing got her.
- This video is confusing.
- Yeah. It's all, like, complicated.
- This video is over my head.
- Yeah. It's under my butt.
I don't like videos that suck.
Yeah,
me too.
- What is this commercial for?
- It's that deodorant commercial.
- Yeah that's 'cause this guy stinks.
- Yeah and he suck too.
Hey, Butt-Head,
isn't that dude,
- On some soap opera?
- Yeah.
He is on
"As the world sucks"
This video should have
a warning label:
"Parental advisory:
what you about to see sucks".
Yeah, yeah ... sucks.
Let's see if we can find a video
that, like, doesn't suck.
That's pretty cool, Beavis.
You should be one of those synthesisers.
Yeah, yeah...yeah.
- Wow, it's that Paul Shaffer dude.
- Yeah, matching.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yes!
- Harder! Harder!
Check it out: they punch the guy
and they bringing the dancing chicks.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Interigation is cool.
- I didn't know you know any big words.
I do and the words are cool.
Like Diarrhea.
And, like, Recreation.
Yeah,
and feminapiouse tubio.
Wow.
- That was pretty cool, Beavis.
- Yeah.