Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011): Season 2, Episode 5 - Yogurt's Cool - full transcript

Tantalized by a sexy yogurt advertisement on television, Beavis & Butt-Head decide they have to try some as soon as possible. Whey they get to the yogurt store they find the yogurt leaves a lot to be desired and the staff is less than sympathetic to their problems with it.

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BEWARE OF THE BUTT

Change it.

"Biological processes for $800".

"Part of the body responsible
for the creation and organisation,

of electronic impulses which, when,

processed, form the
basis of Intelligence".

What is the Butt, Alex?

Change it.

"Sure I'll share my mothers scarf.
But my mothers tampon..."

No way!

Change it.



"The base of evil,
the soul of terror,

The body of a babe".
"Fleshmonster!"

"The bone chilling story
of a motorcycle riding,

eye-gouging, brain eating
zombie sex kitten.

Who just happens to be insane."

"Now playing at a crappy driving in,

a second riding multiplex near you."

- Wow! We're there dude.
- Yeah.

I can't believe it okay,

My honeymoon night, okay.

I will probably only have 3 or 4
more of these in my wholly entire lifetime.

And you, you, changing more than talking...

- This is big fat dude with hairy shoulders
- Yeah.

It's cool.



He's gonna buy some candy.

Can I help you?

Oh. Breath mint.

Our lips are so close?

Not if you was the last immigrant
grows on Earth, honey!

Son of a biscuit.
My interests spit on you haircut.

Can you help me!?

My doctor says I have
to take a Laxative!

Not in my store, you don't!

Look at all those big thingies.

I like we can see
the bottom of the thingies.

That is cool.

- Wow
"Give me a bottle of anything...

and a glazed doughnut...

- to go"
- This is boring.

- Is this "The Bangles"?
- No it's the "Go-Go's".

- These are like grudge chicks.
- Yeah.

Grubby chicks are cool.

I'm gonna get
a ring in my nose.

I had a ringworm in my nose once.

- It was pretty cool.
- Yeah, I remember.

Hey Beavis, let's pretend we're Dead.

Yeah, that would be cool.

DRIVE - IN
TUCKER CL ASS ACT

No it's only 3 dollars,
if you got a car.

- Look.
- What?

Look.

Look, I'm stroking my Wiener.

Oh, man. Get a napkin, pun.

Gym teacher's, handkerchief.

That's cool.

Nothing in here.

No.

No.

Bingo.

If this van's a rockin' don't
come a-Knockin'.

Wow, Beavis look.

That's a biggest, fattest, hairiest
worst covered butt I've ever saw.

Yeah,
and it's pretty ugly too.

You boys think you got a
problem with my butt!?

I will kick your butts all
over this caveat.

This spawn of hell sucks.

Yeah, he is not nearly
as scariest this butt.

No way, I can't believe it.
All my sorority sisters are naked.

And like decapitated.

Something is not right here.

- Duh
- Boy, she's stupid.

I hope nothing like bad is
gonna happen to me.

- I know, I take a shower.
- Yes!

You boys ready to die!

Buttwomen!

Help!

Help!

This sucks.

Yeah.

You screwed it up dumbass.

No way.
You screwed it up, bunghole.

Shut up Beavis.
Or you want me to kick your ass again.

Hey Beavis,
you know how these guys call themselves?

Helmet

Yeah,
helmet, yeah.

- That drummer looks like a regular guy.
- Yeah

If you, like, saw these guys on the street

You wouldn't even know that they are cool.

Yeah,
they look like normal guys, like us.

- Faster
- Yeah, yeah

- Faster!
- Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster!,

Faster! Faster! Faster!

- Hey Beavis.
- What?

- Your butt's weird looking.
- Shut up.

Kinda looks like baloney.

- Shut up, dude.
- With pimples on it.

Hey Butt-Head,
why are you so interested in my butt.

Did you heard that new "Gwar" album?

These chicks look like guys.

Yeah,
That one's not wearing a bra.

Hey Butt-Head, I've heard that these chicks
grandpa is "Ozzy Osbourne".

No way asswipe.

- They're "Elvis's" kids.
- Oh yeah.

I'll get the one on the left.

You'll get the ugly one.

All right Gwar.

Yeah,
Gwar is cool

Gwar, gwar, gwar.

Gwar, gwar, gwar.

- Gwar kicks ass.
- Yeah.

Gwar!