Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011): Season 2, Episode 7 - Friday Night - full transcript
A female biker involves Beavis and Butt-Head in one of her crimes.
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CUSTOMERS
SUCK
"Here's the story
of a lovely lady".
- Wow check it out The "Bunch".
- "Who was bringing up three very,
lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold,
like their mother.
The youngest one in curls"
"Here's the story,
of a man named Brady."
- "The Bunch" sucks.
- Yeah.
I don't like stuff that sucks.
Let's watch something cool.
She is beating her carpet.
Yeah, we should do that.
It looks cool.
You're white?
He's got a hair stiffy.
Old people.
You're wrong?
Yeah,
he is all wrong.
And his hair is orange.
You think those guys
sleep in separate beds?
No way.
Why are these guys so snotty?
- Yeah, they looked all pissed off.
- Yeah, and tired.
What's that guy doing back there?
He's Wang Chungy.
That guy is peeing.
That's cool.
I peed in the gym once.
Really?
You're pretty cool, Beavis.
Where're the women in this video?
Yeah, they need some chicks too.
Hey, Butt-Head, I feel a seizure coming on.
Cool!
Let's fry something.
Yeah, check it out...
Cook, cook, cook.
Grease is cool.
Hello? I'll have a
cheeseburger with no ketchup.
And I'll also have....
a chicken sandwich...
with no tomatoes...
and...
with extra mayonnaise...
and some onion rings
with no salt and....
Shut up!
I also want...
a large orange soda...
with no ice....
- And...
- Shut up!
Go away!
Did you get all that?
We're, like, closed
or something.
Go away!
- That was cool.
- Yeah.
Custumers suck.
Check this out...
Please hang up now.
This is a recording.
Welcome to the world.
May I help you?
You're pretty cool, Beavis.
Are your shakes made with real
milk and ice cream,
or do you use that reconstituted
shake mix stuff?
Yeah.
What did you mean: yeah,
you use the shake mix,
- Or yeah, you use the real stuff?
- Yeah.
Let me talk to the manager.
Yeah.
I'm an assistant manger, sir.
Is there something
I can help you with?
Yes, I'm trying to ask a very
simple question here.
Are your shakes made from shake mix
or from ice cream and milk?
We have vanilla, chocolate
and strawberry.
- Yeah.
- Forget it, forget it...
God, can you, idiots, answer
a simple question?
I'll go somewhere else...
God, morons!
Jesus, couple of imbeciles!
- Let's go break something.
- Yeah.
What's this?
He's smiling at
you, Beavis.
Shut up, Butt-Head!
This guy always likes
to show off his butt.
Yeah,
his butt sucks.
Oh, yeah?
- How do you know?
- Shut up, Butt-Head!
I'll kick your ass!
This is one of those
workout tapes.
While makes you workout to this tape,
you'll be pooping like a wuss.
Yeah.
This video is making me sick.
What?
I hate words.
Yeah!
Words suck!
If I wanted to read,
I go to school.
This is college music.
Yeah.
College music sucks!
- He said "dangle".
- Yeah, yeah.
The angle of the dangle is inversely
proportional to the heat of the meat.
Wow!
That was pretty cool!
- You're pretty smart, Beavis.
- Yeah.
Pull my finger!
Pull my finger, dude!
No way.
Come on,
pull my finger!
Nothing?
SBD
(Silent but deadly).
That was cool.
Yes!
This kicks butt.
- "Nirvana" is cool.
- Yeah.
Beavis's dad.
Is this, like, grudge music?
Grudge music is that stuff
those guys from Seattle play.
Where is Seattle?
Hey, Butt-Head, where's Seattle?
You don't know?
It's this place where,
like, stuff is, like, really cool.
Hello? Hello?
Hello, may I help you?
Hey, Butt-Head, what is "Teen spirit"?
Dude, if you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell you.
Dumbass!
Look, this video has symbols.
Yeah, is that what they mean
when they say "videos have symbolism"?
You said "Is him"
Pep rallies suck.
Yeah.
---
CUSTOMERS
SUCK
"Here's the story
of a lovely lady".
- Wow check it out The "Bunch".
- "Who was bringing up three very,
lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold,
like their mother.
The youngest one in curls"
"Here's the story,
of a man named Brady."
- "The Bunch" sucks.
- Yeah.
I don't like stuff that sucks.
Let's watch something cool.
She is beating her carpet.
Yeah, we should do that.
It looks cool.
You're white?
He's got a hair stiffy.
Old people.
You're wrong?
Yeah,
he is all wrong.
And his hair is orange.
You think those guys
sleep in separate beds?
No way.
Why are these guys so snotty?
- Yeah, they looked all pissed off.
- Yeah, and tired.
What's that guy doing back there?
He's Wang Chungy.
That guy is peeing.
That's cool.
I peed in the gym once.
Really?
You're pretty cool, Beavis.
Where're the women in this video?
Yeah, they need some chicks too.
Hey, Butt-Head, I feel a seizure coming on.
Cool!
Let's fry something.
Yeah, check it out...
Cook, cook, cook.
Grease is cool.
Hello? I'll have a
cheeseburger with no ketchup.
And I'll also have....
a chicken sandwich...
with no tomatoes...
and...
with extra mayonnaise...
and some onion rings
with no salt and....
Shut up!
I also want...
a large orange soda...
with no ice....
- And...
- Shut up!
Go away!
Did you get all that?
We're, like, closed
or something.
Go away!
- That was cool.
- Yeah.
Custumers suck.
Check this out...
Please hang up now.
This is a recording.
Welcome to the world.
May I help you?
You're pretty cool, Beavis.
Are your shakes made with real
milk and ice cream,
or do you use that reconstituted
shake mix stuff?
Yeah.
What did you mean: yeah,
you use the shake mix,
- Or yeah, you use the real stuff?
- Yeah.
Let me talk to the manager.
Yeah.
I'm an assistant manger, sir.
Is there something
I can help you with?
Yes, I'm trying to ask a very
simple question here.
Are your shakes made from shake mix
or from ice cream and milk?
We have vanilla, chocolate
and strawberry.
- Yeah.
- Forget it, forget it...
God, can you, idiots, answer
a simple question?
I'll go somewhere else...
God, morons!
Jesus, couple of imbeciles!
- Let's go break something.
- Yeah.
What's this?
He's smiling at
you, Beavis.
Shut up, Butt-Head!
This guy always likes
to show off his butt.
Yeah,
his butt sucks.
Oh, yeah?
- How do you know?
- Shut up, Butt-Head!
I'll kick your ass!
This is one of those
workout tapes.
While makes you workout to this tape,
you'll be pooping like a wuss.
Yeah.
This video is making me sick.
What?
I hate words.
Yeah!
Words suck!
If I wanted to read,
I go to school.
This is college music.
Yeah.
College music sucks!
- He said "dangle".
- Yeah, yeah.
The angle of the dangle is inversely
proportional to the heat of the meat.
Wow!
That was pretty cool!
- You're pretty smart, Beavis.
- Yeah.
Pull my finger!
Pull my finger, dude!
No way.
Come on,
pull my finger!
Nothing?
SBD
(Silent but deadly).
That was cool.
Yes!
This kicks butt.
- "Nirvana" is cool.
- Yeah.
Beavis's dad.
Is this, like, grudge music?
Grudge music is that stuff
those guys from Seattle play.
Where is Seattle?
Hey, Butt-Head, where's Seattle?
You don't know?
It's this place where,
like, stuff is, like, really cool.
Hello? Hello?
Hello, may I help you?
Hey, Butt-Head, what is "Teen spirit"?
Dude, if you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell you.
Dumbass!
Look, this video has symbols.
Yeah, is that what they mean
when they say "videos have symbolism"?
You said "Is him"
Pep rallies suck.
Yeah.