Baywatch (1989–2001): Season 7, Episode 6 - Beachblast - full transcript
Mitch hires MTV VJ Jenny McCarthy to throw a "beach blast"; a live televised tournament to sponsor a Special Olympics tournament at the beach, in which Mitch, Donna, Cody, Jordan and Newman are competing with the MTV athletes for the benefits. Meanwhile, Cody moves in with C.J. and Caroline after being evicted from his apartment and soon finds himself in the middle of a major feud between the two women over living conditions.
[OPENING THEME PLAYING]
♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪
♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪
♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HELP SOMEBODY ♪
♪ THE EDGE
OF SURRENDER IN SIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T YOU WORRY
♪ IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ WHATEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
[PIANO PLAYING]
♪ BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ WHATEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE.
[DRAMATIC DRUMS]
-BOY: OIL, SUNBLOCK!
-HEY!
-HEY, WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
-WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
SUN TANNER, YEAH.
OKAY.
THANKS.
-HEY!
COME BACK HERE, HEY!
THIEF! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!
HEY! LIFEGUARD!
-COME ON, COME ON!
-GRAB HIM, PLEASE!
-HEY, MAN!
-HE'S GETTING AWAY!
DO SOMETHING!
[MAN CHEERS]
HE TOOK ALL OF MY MONEY!
PLEASE, HELP ME!
EVERYTHING IS IN THERE!
MY WHOLE LIFE.
-NEWMIE, NEWMIE!
[WHISTLES]
HOLD UP!
HEY, MAN.
-WHAT'S THE DEAL?
-COUPLE SNATCH AND RUN GUYS!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
OVER THERE!
-I GOT IT!
-FLOOR IT, NEWMIE!
-HANG ON!
-GOT TO GO FASTER, MAN!
-HANG ON!
-ALL RIGHT!
-WE GOT THE ANGLE!
-NEWMIE: WE'RE GAINING!
-CODY: GET THEM,
NEWMIE, GET THEM!
-DUDE, WE'RE STUCK, MAN!
-GO TO THE HARBOR!
-I THINK WE GOT THEM!
-MAN: COME
THROUGH THE RAILING!
YEAH, WHOO!
-CODY: GO AROUND, GO AROUND!
GO TO THE HARBOR,
WE GOT TO BLOCK!
SEE THEM ANYWHERE?
-NO.
-WHERE DID THEY GO?
BEHIND US, BEHIND US!
-GO, GO!
-DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!
[CHEERS]
-GOOD WORK, NEWMIE!
BIG BAD PURSE SNATCHERS, HUH?
BOOK 'EM, DANNO. WHOO!
-HEY GUYS, GOOD SETS, HUH?
-THIS IS JASON AND MAX, THEY'RE
100 YARD DASH SPECIALISTS,
AND THE MONEY MAN THERE
IS ALEX.
HE'S OUR HIGH JUMPER.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU
SAY THERE, ALEX?
-ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
GET ME SOME MONEY.
-ATTA BOY.
-GOSH, YOU'RE LOVELY.
-HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
-GOOD, WE'RE TRYING
TO GET SPONSORS
SO THESE ATHLETES CAN COMPETE
IN THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS.
-REALLY, HOW YOU DOING SO FAR?
-NOT GOOD, WE NEED MORE MONEY.
-NEED MORE MONEY, HUH?
WELL...
HEY, JENNY MCCARTHY HERE
AT THE MTV BEACH HOUSE!
NOW, WAIT A SECOND.
HEY, DARLING, WHAT
ARE YOU WATCHING?
-MTV.
-MTV.
YOU NEED EXPOSURE, YOU NEED
TO SPREAD THE WORLD FAST,
SPONSORS, YOU KNOW,
I GOT AN IDEA.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
-OKAY.
-YEAH, JENNY MCCARTHY, PLEASE.
-HEY, JENNY, IT'S MITCH
BUCHANNON, BAYWATCH.
YEAH, HOW YOU DOING?
I JUST SAW YOU ON TV.
LISTEN, THERE WERE
A COUPLE OF KIDS
FROM THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS
ATHLETES ON THE BEACH TODAY,
AND THEY'RE TRYING
TO RAISE SOME MONEY
AND BRING AWARENESS
TO THEIR PROGRAM.
AND I WAS JUST KIND
OF WONDERING MAYBE
WE COULD DO SOMETHING
TOGETHER TO HELP THEM.
-JOEY, THAT WAS YOU BEST TIME
YET IN THE 200 YARD DASH.
AMY, LET'S SEE, I'M GOING
TO HAVE YOU DO THE LONG JUMP.
YOU'RE DOING REALLY WELL THERE.
-HEY GUYS, LISTEN UP,
WE GOT A DEAL!
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
-WE'RE GOING TO BE ON MTV!
[CHEERS]
-ALL OF US?
-MITCH: ALL OF US.
-YOU'RE KIDDING.
-NO, I'M NOT KIDDING,
I JUST TALKED TO JENNY MCCARTHY,
AND SHE SAID WHAT ABOUT
A COMPETITION BETWEEN
THE MTV BEACH HOUSE AND THE
BAYWATCH LIFEGUARDS, RIGHT?
WE GET SOME SPONSORS
AND ALL THE MONEY
GOES THE SPECIAL
OLYMPICS ATHLETES.
WE CALL IT BEACH BLAST!
[CHEERS AND CLAPS]
-MTV, MTV, MTV!
-YEAH, LET'S HEAR IT
FOR CAT ON THE LOOSE!
-WHAT'S UP, JENNY?
-WE'RE GOING TO KICK BUTT!
-YES, WE ARE.
I ONLY HAVE A FEW WORDS
FOR THE LIFEGUARDS,
WE'RE GOING TO SHUT
THEM DOWN, BABY!
-RIGHT ON, BROTHER!
DALLAS, BABE, COME ON OUT!
-GIRL, YOU KNOW I'M
READY FOR A FIGHT, YOW!
-YOW, JOHN SENCIO,
COME HERE BABY!
-I GOT A MESSAGE FOR CODY,
MR. FLAT STOMACH.
YOU'RE JUST FRONTING, MAN.
THE VJS, L KID, WE'RE
REPRESENTING, BABY!
-YEAH, WE ARE!
ALL RIGHT,
LAST ONE, SIMON REX!
-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I GET TO WRESTLE
WITH CAT ON THE LOOSE, RIGHT?
-OH, YEAH.
-OH, ALL I GOT TO SAY IS,
CJ., YOU'RE GOING DOWN, BABY!
-OKAY, THEM THE
HUNKS FROM BAYWATCH.
LET'S MEET 'EM, YOU GUYS!
[SIREN BLARES]
-THEY'RE VIOLATING A BUNCH
OF MOTOR VEHICLE REGULATIONS
BEING ON THE TOP OF
THAT THING AND THE BACK!
OH, THAT GIRLY LITTLE
RIDE THEY HAVE.
-HERE THEY COME, THE THEM TEAM,
THE LIFEGUARDS OF BAYWATCH!
-HEY, HEY, HEY,
GET BACK COWBOY!
-BREAK IT UP, IT'S ALL
ABOUT FUN, FUN ONLY!
MITCH BUCHANNON,
THE CAPTAIN OF THE TEAM!
-THAT'S RIGHT, AS YOU CAN SEE,
I'M WEARING A BLACK ARMBAND
IN MEMORY
OF THE MTV LOSS.
-NO! NO WAY!
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
-HEY, I'M DONNA AND I'M
HUNGRY FOR A VJ SANDWICH.
-CODY MADISON AND YOUNG
JENNIFER, YOU ARE ALL MINE.
-WHATEVER!
-I'M JORDAN TATE, AND MTV,
YOU GUYS ARE GOING DOWN!
-OH, JOHN, JOHN, JOHN!
-I'M NEWMIE AND
I'M GOING TO HATE
TO SEE PARTS OF VJ
ALL OVER THE BEACH.
-OH, NO, HUNK AND
HUNKETS, ONE AND ALL,
YOU GUYS, LET'S
HEAR IT FOR THEM!
[CHEERS]
-JENNY, LET ME TALK TO THIS
YOUNG LADY OVER HERE, JORDAN.
SO YOU SAYING IF I WAS DROWNING
YOU COULD REALLY SAVE ME?
-ABSOLUTELY, I'M A LIFEGUARD,
I SWIM FOR A LIVING AND YOU?
-OH, I'M GOING
TO THE POOL, BABY!
-YOU GOT HERE GOING ON, MAN!
SO MITCH, WE GOT
SOME SPECIAL GUESTS.
THE SPECIAL OLYMPIC
ATHLETES ARE HERE.
-AS YOU KNOW, ALL THE
PROCEEDS FROM THIS CONTEST
WIN OR LOSE GO TO THE
SPECIAL OLYMPICS TODAY!
WE ARE HONORED TO HAVE
THE SPECIAL OLYMPIC ATHLETES!
COME ON, GIVE IT UP
FOR THE ATHLETES!
COME ON UP HERE!
LET'S GO, BABY!
ALL THE PROCEEDS
FROM THIS CONTEST
GO TO THE SPECIAL
OLYMPICS, COME ON IN!
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, LET'S GIVE
IT UP FOR THE ATHLETES!
-ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS,
MAKE SURE YOU STAY TUNED
BECAUSE WHEN WE COME BACK,
WE'RE GOING TO GET
READY TO RUMBLE!
DON'T GO ANYWHERE, YEAH!
-BAYWATCH, BAYWATCH!
-PICKLED EEL, VERY HEALTHY.
-I ACTUALLY DON'T THINK THAT
PICKLED EEL IS ON MY DIET.
-OH, WHAT DIET IS THAT?
-THE EARTHLING DIET, CJ.
[LAUGHTER]
-TRY IT, YOU'LL LIKE IT!
WELL?
-MMMM!
-WELL, I HAVE A BIG SURPRISE!
-I DON'T THINK
ANYTHING COULD BE
A BIGGER SURPRISE
THAN THAT PICKLED EEL!
-ACTUALLY, IT COULD'VE
BEEN A PROBLEM,
BUT I LIKE TO THINK OF
PROBLEMS AS CHALLENGES.
YOU WANT TO TELL HER, CODY?
-NO, WHY DON'T YOU?
-CODY GOT EVICTED.
-NOT EVICTED, ASKED
POLITELY TO MOVE.
-COME ON, EAT, YOU GUYS!
YOU WANT BREAD?
-MMM...
-YEAH, CODY'S
LANDLORD GOT HER MOTHER
TO MOVE INTO THE APARTMENT.
-OH, THAT'S TOO BAD,
WHEN'D YOU FIND OUT?
-TODAY.
-WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE?
-THAT'S THE SURPRISE. HERE!
-HERE, WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, WITH US?
-YEAH, WE COULD SPLIT
EVERYTHING THREE WAYS.
JUST THINK OF ALL THE
MONEY WE'RE GOING TO SAVE.
WHAT, WE'VE HAD THREE
PEOPLE LIVE HERE BEFORE.
-BUT WE HAD THREE
GIRLS BEFORE, CJ.
CODY, CODY IS NOT A GIRL.
-SO?
-SO IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO LIVE
WITH ONE OTHER PERSON.
-WE GET ALONG FINE.
DON'T WE?
-YEAH, I MEAN
MAYBE THERE MIGHT BE
ONE OF TWO THINGS THAT YOU DO
THAT I DON'T PARTICULARLY LOVE.
-LIKE WHAT?
-NOTHING, NEVER MIND.
-NO, NO, CJ, SHE'S RIGHT.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW EVERYBODY
HAS THOSE LITTLE THINGS
THEY DO THAT DRIVE
OTHER PEOPLE CRAZY.
-ME, WHAT COULD I DO?
-WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU INSIST.
TEA BAGS!
-TEA BAGS?
-YEAH, TEA BAGS.
HERBAL, USED, AND OH,
YEAH, IN THE SINK.
THAT IS GROSS!
-WELL, I COULD SEE HOW
THAT COULD BOTHER YOU.
-YOU DO?
-BUT HONEY,
I HAVE NO PROBLEM
PICKING THEM UP AND
PUTTING THEM IN THE TRASH.
-WHERE THEY BELONG, THANK YOU!
-ARE YOU CALLING ME SLOPPY?
-CJ, I DON'T THINK...
-CAROLINE: YES.
-WELL, AT LEAST
I'M NOT A NEAT FREAK.
-OH, WHAT, LIKE ME?
-WHO ELSE COLOR CODES
THE VEGETABLE BINS
AND PUTS THE DAIRY PRODUCTS
IN THE REFRIGERATOR
BY EXPIRATION DATE.
-WELL, I JUST DO THAT
SO YOU DON'T DRINK BAD MILK!
-I DON'T DRINK MILK!
-HEY, HEY, HEY!
WELL, I THINK WE'VE MADE SOME
REAL PROGRESS HERE TONIGHT.
-SHUT UP, CODY!
-OW.
-YEAH, THIS IS A GREAT
PLACE TO PRACTICE.
THE MTV BEACH HOUSE CLIFF
IS JUST ABOUT THIS HIGH.
-YEAH, YOU SEE THE
YELLOW FLOWERS DOWN THERE?
THAT OUGHT TO BE ABOUT
WHERE THE SWIMMING POOL IS.
-SEE THE BIG BOULDER?
WHY DON'T WE TARGET
THAT AS WHERE
THE MTV CAMERA
IS GOING TO BE.
-PARACHUTING OFF CITY HALL,
BUNGEE JUMPING
OFF THAT BRIDGE, CRASHING
A TV SHOW PRIME TIME.
-NOTHING TO DO BUT DO IT.
SO FLASH THOSE PEARLY
WHITES FOR THE CAMERA,
AND READY,
JENNY, HERE WE COME!
GO!
I'M GOING FOR IT.
[SIREN BLARING]
-HEY, THERE'S NO HANG
GLIDING OFF THESE CLIFFS.
-HEY, SORRY, OFFICER,
WE DIDN'T KNOW.
-I SWEAR I SAW THOSE LIFEGUARDS
EATING TONS OF DONUTS.
HEY, DOES IT HURT HAVING TO
SUCK YOUR GUT IN THAT HARD?
-WHAT SIZE GIRDLE,
IS THAT VELCRO?
-WATCH IT, THAT'S MY MAN.
-OH, DIVER DARLING,
I'M A DIVA, GET IT RIGHT.
-DIVA, COME ON!
-YOU KNOW, LET'S
JUST LET THEM BE.
THEY NEED SOME WORK, THEY
NEED TO WORK ON THE PUSH UPS
AND SOME SIT UPS.
WE'LL GO OFF AND
KIND OF MODERATE.
-HEY, DONNA, ARE WE STILL
GOING OUT TONIGHT OR WHAT?
-GOOD LUCK!
-YEAH.
-HEY EVERYONE, JENNY MCCARTHY
HERE AT THE MTV BEACH HOUSE.
THE SUN SHINING
AND WE'RE HAVING FUN
AND IT'S BEEN BEACH
BLAST ALL WEEK LONG.
US VERSUS THEM,
WHO DO WE GOT OVER HERE?
CAT, CAT, COME ON
OVER HERE, HONEY!
OOH, LOOK WHO SHE'S WITH.
HI, HONEY, ARE YOU EXCITED
TO PLAY ON OUR TEAM?
-I CAN'T WAIT, I'M SO EXCITED.
-WHO ARE THESE HUNKS
YOU GOT WITH YOU?
-THESE ARE MY BOOKENDS.
[LAUGHS]
-WOW, NOT BAD FOR BOOKENDS.
OKAY, HONEY,
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
-ALL RIGHT.
-LISTEN, DALLAS, I KNOW
WE WORK TOGETHER AND EVERYTHING,
BUT I THINK WE COULD
GO GRAB A MOVIE,
MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER,
YOU KNOW, HANG OUT.
-HEY, GUYS, I'M GOING TO CATCH
YOU LATER, SEE YOU TOMORROW!
-MAN: ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU
LATER, DALLAS, TAKE CARE.
-MITCH, HI.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER, DO YOU?
-REMEMBER WHAT?
-SORRY, IT'S BEEN
A REALLY LONG TIME,
I-I CAN'T EXPECT YOU
TO REMEMBER.
-NO, IT'S OKAY,
GIVE ME A HINT.
-NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY LAME.
IT'S REALLY STUPID.
-NO, COME ON, IT'S GOT
TO BE IMPORTANT, WHAT?
-NO, TOMORROW WE'RE
GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT.
THAT'S WHAT I GOT
TO SAY, SEE YOU!
-FIRST OF ALL, ALL YOU
HAVE TO DO IS WALK OUT
HERE ON THIS
WONDERFUL LOG, RIGHT?
-OKAY.
-YOU GET TO THE MIDDLE,
YOU GOING TO TAKE
THIS PUNCHY STICK,
AND YOU'RE GOING
TO DEFEND YOURSELF, OKAY?
-OKAY.
-AND WHATEVER YOU DO, YOU
DON'T FALL IN THE WATER.
YOU GOT IT, CAN YOU DO IT?
-OF COURSE I CAN DO IT.
-ALL RIGHT, HEY, IF I WIN, THINK
WE CAN GO FOR A LITTLE SWIM?
-WE'LL SEE.
-GOOD TIME, BUT
WE'LL BEAT YOU HERE
WITH THE ICED TEA BY NINE
AND A HALF SECONDS, SORRY.
-THAT'S NOT ONE OF
THE BEACH BLAST GAMES.
-OH, NO, BUT IT'S ONE OF
MY PERSONAL FAVORITES.
-BAD KITTY!
-I KNOW.
-HEY, IT'S WATER
JOUSTING TIME, WHOO!
OH, OH, OH,
THERE GOES SIMON.
YEAH, SHE WINS IT!
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO!
DONNA FACES
THE NEW CHALLENGER,
BILL BELLAMY OR BUFFALO BILL!
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO CALL HIM!
COME ON, BILLY,
DO IT FOR MTV!
OH, NO, OH NO, YES!
BAYWATCH GOES DOWN!
NEWMIE IS GOING TO
GET HIM RIGHT NOW!
OH, GOD, OH GOD,
BELLAMY GOES IN!
MTV DOWN!
KATANA, THE MTV US TEAM
IS GETTING READY
TO FACE NEWMIE ON THEM
TEAM FOR BAYWATCH!
COME ON, KAT WOMAN, HERE WE GO!
THEY'RE COMING CLOSE!
-COME ON, KITTY!
-JENNY: NEWMIE, NEWMIE HAS
GOT THE RIGHT STUFF, I THINK!
GET HIM IN THE
BUTT, THAT'S RIGHT!
OH, GOD,
HE GOT HER IN THE BUTT!
THERE WE GO, YEAH!
THAT'S RIGHT,
KAT WOMAN DOES IT!
MTV RULES!
WE GOT SENCIO VERSUS CODY!
THERE'S BEEN A LOT
OF FRICTION GOING ON
BETWEEN THOSE TWO!
UH-OH, SENCIO IS DOING
SOME FLAT TALKING!
OH, THEY BOW TO EACH OTHER!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
WE GOT TWO COMEDIANS
ON OUR HANDS!
UH-OH, UH-OH, OH NO!
THEY BOTH GO IN, RIGHT ON!
-HEY, NOT BAD FOR A WIMP, MAN!
-YEAH, MAN!
-HEY, MITCH!
-HEY.
-APRIL 9TH, 1986.
-APRIL 9TH, 1986,
NOW WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
-WELL, YOU'RE
GOING TO HAVE TO GO
TO THE WAY BACK MACHINE
AND THINK ABOUT IT.
-APRIL 9TH.
-HEY, I'M WITH A GROUP
OF WINNERS RIGHT NOW.
THE SPECIAL OLYMPIC
ATHLETES WILL BE
PASSING OUT THE MEDALS
TO THE CHAMPIONS
OF THE BEACH BLAST GAMES,
BUT WE ALL KNOW WHO
THAT'S GOING TO BE, RIGHT?
WHO'S GOING TO WIN?
MTV, YEAH, MTV,
YOU GOT IT, HONEY!
-MTV.
-WHOO!
HELLO EVERYONE, IT'S
TIME, SO GET READY FOR
BIG GLOVE BOXING!
[CROWD CHEERING]
-ALL RIGHT, I GOT ONE, ONE,
TWO, TWO, THREE, THREE!
♪ BABY IT'S A PARTY WHEN IT COMES TO BLOWS
-AND THE WINNER IS MTV, YEAH!
♪ SO TURN IT UP, BRING IT ON
YA KNOW THAT IT'S GOOD FOR THE SOUL ♪
♪ WANNA TAKE YOU HIGHER
THAN YOU'VE EVER BEEN ♪
♪ AND IN THE MORNING LOOK LIKE
WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN ♪
♪ WE'RE DOING THIS THING
CALLED ROCK AND ROLL ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
OUT UNDER THE SUN ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
GONNA HAVE SOME FUN ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
OUT ON THE WAVES ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
THROW THE RULES AWAY ♪
♪ THAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME
THIS SUMMER DAY ♪
-MITCH, WEAR THIS
FOR GOOD LUCK.
-OKAY!
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO!
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
OUT UNDER THE SUN ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
GONNA HAVE SOME FUN ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
OUT ON THE WAVES ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH...
-AT THE END OF THE FIRST
PERIOD OF COMPETITION,
THE LIFEGUARDS HAVE 45,
BEACH HOUSE IS 38, BOO-WHOO!
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY ♪
♪IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
♪ THAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME
THIS SUMMER DAY ♪
-THIS IS GREAT.
IT IS ISN'T IT?
-IT'S ONLY BEEN 10 MINUTES,
BUT SO FAR SO GOOD.
-I'M GLAD CAROLINE CAME AROUND.
-YEAH.
-IT'LL BE GREAT, WON'T IT?
-IT'S GOING TO BE
FANTASTIC, BABY.
[DOOR SLAMS]
[DOOR SLAMS]
[BASKET SLAMS]
-I... I FOUND YOUR
NEW GREEN SWEATSHIRT.
YOU LEFT IT IN THE WASHER.
-OH, THANK YOU, CAROLINE.
-SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT,
SO I...
I WASHED IT WITH MY WHITES.
WHAT, WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE ELECTRICITY?
-OH, WE'RE A MONTH
BEHIND, AREN'T WE?
-WHAT, NO, NO, NO,
WE GOT A FINAL NOTICE BILL.
-DID YOU PAY IT?
-DID I PAY IT?
I WROTE THE CHECK, I PUT
THE STAMP ON THE ENVELOPE,
YOU JUST HAD TO MAIL IT.
-I DIDN'T SEE IT!
-CJ, WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU DIDN'T SEE IT?
I LEFT IT RIGHT ON
THE KITCHEN COUNTER.
-NEAR THE OLD
STACK OF NEWSPAPERS?
-NO, I DON'T LEAVE OLD
NEWSPAPERS HANGING AROUND.
-I DID, IT MUST BE
UNDER THE OLD NEWSPAPERS.
-NO, NO, NO, I...
I THREW THEM OUT IN THE TRASH...
ALONG WITH THE OLD TEA BAGS.
[DOOR SLAMS]
-BAD DOG.
-ROOF.
[CROWD CHEERING]
-OKAY, GIRLS, YOU ALL SET?
OKAY, ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!
ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!
[HUFFING]
-HOLD ON, LET ME
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
CJ AND I HAD
A REAL SPECIAL TIME
ON THE DANCE FLOOR LAST NIGHT.
-YOU WERE OUT DANCING WITH CJ?
-YEAH, MAN, WHAT DO
YOU THINK OF THAT?
-THAT'S NOTHING,
JENNY MCCARTHY AND I
WERE OUT AT MALIBU UNTIL
SIX IN THE MORNING.
-WAIT, MY LITTLE J?
-JENNY MCCARTHY!
-STOP TALKING TRASH.
-YEAH!
-STOP TALKING TRASH.
LET'S GO, BABY, COME ON!
-OKAY, TAKE IT
OUT ON THE COURSE!
-ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!
-SUPER SENCIO, MAN,
I'M IN THE TRIATHLON!
OH, JEEZ, HEY LOOK, ROUGH
BEAT, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
-ALL RIGHT, SUGAR BUMPS, LUCKY
FOR YOU I'M A GENTLEMAN.
-YOU JUST TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF, GENTLEMAN.
-I WILL.
-TAKE YOUR MARKS. GET SET. GO!
-OW, GOD!
-GOOD THING YOUR
HEAD WAS THERE!
WHOO!
YEAH!
-THIS IS A WORKOUT FOR ME.
-OH, AH!
-HEY, LOOK OUT!
-YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
-HEY, LET GO OF ME!
-HEY, GET OFF ME,
THAT'S CHEATING!
-LOSER!
-HEY, WAIT UP, I'M
GOING TO WIN THIS RACE!
-HEY, GOOD FEET, SAYS YOU!
KEEP DANCING, TWINKLE TOES,
TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME!
-WHOO!
-HEY, COME BACK HERE!
-HEY, YOU'RE NO GENTLEMAN!
THAT'S OKAY,
BECAUSE I'M NO LADY!
-OH, HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR!
-OH!
-COME HERE, OH,
YOU'RE IN DANGER!
-WHOO!
YEAH, WHOO, VICTORY!
-MITCH, YOU'RE THE MAN.
-THANKS.
-ARE YOU READY?
-HEY, I WAS BORN READY.
-KIND OF EXTREME,
DROPPING IN UNINVITED.
-EXTREME IS MY MIDDLE NAME.
-GO, GO!
GO, GUY!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
GO!
-HERE I COME!
LET'S DO IT!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
-OKAY, EVERYONE,
PLEASE GATHER AROUND!
PLEASE GATHER AROUND, WE'RE
ABOUT TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER
OF THE BEACH BLAST MTV GAMES!
AND THE WINNER IS, BAYWATCH!
YOU'RE RIGHT!
[CHEERING]
BAYWATCH, COME ON UP!
THE SPECIAL OLYMPIC
ATHLETES WILL BE PRESENTING
YOU WITH MEDALS!
OKAY, PLEASE PRESENT THE MEDALS
TO THE BAYWATCH WINNERS!
WINNERS SALUTING...
-WHOO, BAYWATCH,
BAYWATCH, BAYWATCH,
BAYWATCH, BAYWATCH!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
-MAN: YOU'RE TOO CLOSE!
GO!
OH, OH, PULL IT BACK, AH!
-I CAN'T, I'M GONNA TO FALL!
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
-NEWMIE, CODY, JORDAN, COME ON!
-YOU GUYS, THIS IS
NOT A BEACH BLAST GAME.
THIS IS THE REAL THING!
-AH!
[MAN SCREAMS]
-WOMAN:
HELP! OVER HERE! HELP!
-THERE'S A REAL LIFE
RESCUE GOING ON RIGHT NOW.
THE BAYWATCH LIFEGUARDS
ARE SWIMMING OUT
INTO THE OCEAN TO
SAVE THE TWO VICTIMS.
-I'LL UNHOOK HIM.
-GET HIS HEAD UP!
[GASPS]
-LET'S GET HIM IN,
GET HIS LEGS UP!
-THE BAYWATCH LIFEGUARDS
HAVE REACHED THE VICTIMS
AND THEY ARE BRINGING
THEM TO SHORE RIGHT NOW.
-DONNA, MAKE SURE
WE'RE CLEAR!
-OKAY!
-THEY'LL PROBABLY
HAVE TO DO CPR!
WE SHOULD GO OVER THERE
AND FIND OUT, COME ON!
-CAREFUL, CAREFUL!
-LET'S PUT THEM DOWN.
-NO PULSE. BEGIN CPR.
-ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, BREATHE!
ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, BREATHE!
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE!
-YOU GUYS, ARE THEY ALIVE?
-BREATHE, ONE!
[COUGHING]
[CHEERING AND CLAPPING]
-YEAH, THAT'S FINE.
OKAY, OKAY. YEAH, THANKS.
[SLOW JAZZ MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
-MAN 1: YES'M, GILLIGAN,
YOU WERE RIGHT!
THIS IS A LOT BIGGER
INSIDE THAN IT IS OUTSIDE.
MAN 2: TOLD YOU!
MAN 3: GET TO BED, LITTLE BUDDY,
LOT OF WORK TO DO TOMORROW.
[BALL BOUNCING]
-CAN YOU TURN IT DOWN, PLEASE?
-IT WAS A GREAT DAY
AT THE BEACH HOUSE!
[BALL BOUNCING]
-CAN YOU TURN
THAT DOWN, PLEASE?
-WHY DON'T YOU TURN IT DOWN?
-THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHOW!
-CJ, I WAS IN HERE FIRST!
-YEAH, WELL YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE ON A DATE RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A SPECIAL.
-WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES THAT MAKE?
IT DIDN'T WORK OUT,
I'M HERE, SO WHAT?
WHY DO YOU HAVE
TO BE LOUDER THAN ME?
-SPEAK UP!
-YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT,
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
-CAROLINE!
-WHAT!
-HEY!
[WHISTLES]
-WHAT?
-I CAN'T HEAR!
-YEAH.
[TV AND RADIO TURN OFF]
WHERE?
WE'RE ON IT!
POOL FIRE IN THE MARINA.
DISPATCH IS CALLING THE
WHOLE ROSTER, LET'S GO!
-CODY: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
YOU GUYS, BUT I'M BEAT.
-WHO PUT AN EMPTY
BAG OF POTATO CHIPS
BACK IN THE CUPBOARD?
-"WE'RE SCOLDING
THE LOUSY TILFI"?
CAN YOU DECIPHER THIS
MESSAGE PLEASE, CAROLINE.
IT'S IN YOUR HANDWRITING.
-"THEY'RE HOLDING
THE BLOUSE UNTIL FIVE."
-"THEY'RE HOLDING THE
BLOUSE UNTIL FIVE"?
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT
BLOUSE FOR THREE WEEKS,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
NOW THEY PROBABLY
SOLD IT TO SOMEBODY ELSE!
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
-I DID TELL YOU, IT'S WRITTEN
THERE IN PLAIN ENGLISH.
OH, GOD!
NO DRINKING FROM
THE CARTON, YOU SLOB!
-MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT A SLOB.
-FINE, WHY ARE
YOU DEFENDING HIM?
I THINK YOU'VE KNOWN
ME A LITTLE BIT LONGER.
-HEY, HEY, LET'S JUST
HOLD IT FOR A MINUTE.
GUYS, WE JUST SAVED
FOUR LIVES TOGETHER.
I THINK WE SHOULD BE
ABLE TO LIVE TOGETHER.
-YEAH, REALLY.
-YEAH.
-NO, NO DRIBBLING IN THE HOUSE!
-AND KEEP THE TOILET SEAT DOWN!
[LAUGHING]
-OH, GROUP HUG.
-CANDY GRAM!
-WHOO. HEY, MITCH,
WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S THIS?
-MAIL GRAM.
-MAIL GRAM, HMM.
-I CHECKED THE OLD
INCIDENT REPORT.
ON APRIL 9TH, 1986,
A LITTLE 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL
WAS PULLED FROM
A RIP CURRENT BY TOWER 12.
-14-YEAR-OLD GIRL
WITH A BRACES
AND A BODY LIKE
AN IRONING BOARD.
-WELL, SOME THINGS DO CHANGE.
[LAUGHS]
DO YOU KNOW, I FOUND
THAT DRAWING IN MY TOWER,
I KEPT IT ON MY BULLETIN
BOARD IN MY OFFICE
ALL THESE YEARS AND I NEVER KNEW
WHO IT WAS FROM.
HOW COME YOU NEVER SIGNED IT
AND LET ME KNOW IT WAS YOU?
-ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I HAD A HUMONGOUS CRUSH ON YOU.
I WAS EMBARRASSED!
-HOW ABOUT NOW?
-WHAT, AM I EMBARRASSED OR
DO I STILL HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU?
[LAUGHS]
GIVE ME A PEN,
I'LL SIGN IT FOR YOU.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT YOUR BACK?
-WELL, THAT CONCLUDES
OUR BEACH BLAST WEEK
FOR THE MTV BEACH HOUSE.
WE LOST, BUT THAT'S OKAY,
ISN'T IT, JOHN?
-WELL, THEY USED AN ILLEGAL
AMOUNT OF SUN TAN LOTION,
THOSE DARN LIFEGUARDS,
BUT IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE,
SO IT'S ALL RIGHT.
-JENNY: EXACTLY, AND THEY'RE
IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE.
-YEAH, THEY CHEATED AND
I WANT A REMATCH, JENNY.
I'M NOT HAVING THIS,
THIS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME.
-OH, SIMON, YOU'RE
SUCH A BAD SPORT.
YOU ALMOST HAD IT OUT
WITH ONE OF THE LIFEGUARDS.
-WELL, THEY MADE US
LOOK A LITTLE SLUGGISH
WITH ALL THOSE JELLY
DONUTS AND STUFF.
I'M CODY, I GOT
A FLAT STOMACH...
-SURPRISE!
-OH, MY GOD, YAY!
-OKAY, WAIT, WE HAVE
A SPECIAL MESSAGE
FROM CARRIE AND THE
SPECIAL OLYMPICS ATHLETES.
-THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR HAVING US ON TV.
WE LOVE YOU!
[CHEERS]
-MTV, MTV!
-THANK YOU SO MUCH, GUYS!
-MTV, MTV, MTV!
[CHEERING]
[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]
♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪
♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪
♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HELP SOMEBODY ♪
♪ THE EDGE
OF SURRENDER IN SIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T YOU WORRY
♪ IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ WHATEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
[PIANO PLAYING]
♪ BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ WHATEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE.
[DRAMATIC DRUMS]
-BOY: OIL, SUNBLOCK!
-HEY!
-HEY, WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
-WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
SUN TANNER, YEAH.
OKAY.
THANKS.
-HEY!
COME BACK HERE, HEY!
THIEF! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!
HEY! LIFEGUARD!
-COME ON, COME ON!
-GRAB HIM, PLEASE!
-HEY, MAN!
-HE'S GETTING AWAY!
DO SOMETHING!
[MAN CHEERS]
HE TOOK ALL OF MY MONEY!
PLEASE, HELP ME!
EVERYTHING IS IN THERE!
MY WHOLE LIFE.
-NEWMIE, NEWMIE!
[WHISTLES]
HOLD UP!
HEY, MAN.
-WHAT'S THE DEAL?
-COUPLE SNATCH AND RUN GUYS!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
OVER THERE!
-I GOT IT!
-FLOOR IT, NEWMIE!
-HANG ON!
-GOT TO GO FASTER, MAN!
-HANG ON!
-ALL RIGHT!
-WE GOT THE ANGLE!
-NEWMIE: WE'RE GAINING!
-CODY: GET THEM,
NEWMIE, GET THEM!
-DUDE, WE'RE STUCK, MAN!
-GO TO THE HARBOR!
-I THINK WE GOT THEM!
-MAN: COME
THROUGH THE RAILING!
YEAH, WHOO!
-CODY: GO AROUND, GO AROUND!
GO TO THE HARBOR,
WE GOT TO BLOCK!
SEE THEM ANYWHERE?
-NO.
-WHERE DID THEY GO?
BEHIND US, BEHIND US!
-GO, GO!
-DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!
[CHEERS]
-GOOD WORK, NEWMIE!
BIG BAD PURSE SNATCHERS, HUH?
BOOK 'EM, DANNO. WHOO!
-HEY GUYS, GOOD SETS, HUH?
-THIS IS JASON AND MAX, THEY'RE
100 YARD DASH SPECIALISTS,
AND THE MONEY MAN THERE
IS ALEX.
HE'S OUR HIGH JUMPER.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU
SAY THERE, ALEX?
-ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
GET ME SOME MONEY.
-ATTA BOY.
-GOSH, YOU'RE LOVELY.
-HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
-GOOD, WE'RE TRYING
TO GET SPONSORS
SO THESE ATHLETES CAN COMPETE
IN THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS.
-REALLY, HOW YOU DOING SO FAR?
-NOT GOOD, WE NEED MORE MONEY.
-NEED MORE MONEY, HUH?
WELL...
HEY, JENNY MCCARTHY HERE
AT THE MTV BEACH HOUSE!
NOW, WAIT A SECOND.
HEY, DARLING, WHAT
ARE YOU WATCHING?
-MTV.
-MTV.
YOU NEED EXPOSURE, YOU NEED
TO SPREAD THE WORLD FAST,
SPONSORS, YOU KNOW,
I GOT AN IDEA.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
-OKAY.
-YEAH, JENNY MCCARTHY, PLEASE.
-HEY, JENNY, IT'S MITCH
BUCHANNON, BAYWATCH.
YEAH, HOW YOU DOING?
I JUST SAW YOU ON TV.
LISTEN, THERE WERE
A COUPLE OF KIDS
FROM THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS
ATHLETES ON THE BEACH TODAY,
AND THEY'RE TRYING
TO RAISE SOME MONEY
AND BRING AWARENESS
TO THEIR PROGRAM.
AND I WAS JUST KIND
OF WONDERING MAYBE
WE COULD DO SOMETHING
TOGETHER TO HELP THEM.
-JOEY, THAT WAS YOU BEST TIME
YET IN THE 200 YARD DASH.
AMY, LET'S SEE, I'M GOING
TO HAVE YOU DO THE LONG JUMP.
YOU'RE DOING REALLY WELL THERE.
-HEY GUYS, LISTEN UP,
WE GOT A DEAL!
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
-WE'RE GOING TO BE ON MTV!
[CHEERS]
-ALL OF US?
-MITCH: ALL OF US.
-YOU'RE KIDDING.
-NO, I'M NOT KIDDING,
I JUST TALKED TO JENNY MCCARTHY,
AND SHE SAID WHAT ABOUT
A COMPETITION BETWEEN
THE MTV BEACH HOUSE AND THE
BAYWATCH LIFEGUARDS, RIGHT?
WE GET SOME SPONSORS
AND ALL THE MONEY
GOES THE SPECIAL
OLYMPICS ATHLETES.
WE CALL IT BEACH BLAST!
[CHEERS AND CLAPS]
-MTV, MTV, MTV!
-YEAH, LET'S HEAR IT
FOR CAT ON THE LOOSE!
-WHAT'S UP, JENNY?
-WE'RE GOING TO KICK BUTT!
-YES, WE ARE.
I ONLY HAVE A FEW WORDS
FOR THE LIFEGUARDS,
WE'RE GOING TO SHUT
THEM DOWN, BABY!
-RIGHT ON, BROTHER!
DALLAS, BABE, COME ON OUT!
-GIRL, YOU KNOW I'M
READY FOR A FIGHT, YOW!
-YOW, JOHN SENCIO,
COME HERE BABY!
-I GOT A MESSAGE FOR CODY,
MR. FLAT STOMACH.
YOU'RE JUST FRONTING, MAN.
THE VJS, L KID, WE'RE
REPRESENTING, BABY!
-YEAH, WE ARE!
ALL RIGHT,
LAST ONE, SIMON REX!
-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I GET TO WRESTLE
WITH CAT ON THE LOOSE, RIGHT?
-OH, YEAH.
-OH, ALL I GOT TO SAY IS,
CJ., YOU'RE GOING DOWN, BABY!
-OKAY, THEM THE
HUNKS FROM BAYWATCH.
LET'S MEET 'EM, YOU GUYS!
[SIREN BLARES]
-THEY'RE VIOLATING A BUNCH
OF MOTOR VEHICLE REGULATIONS
BEING ON THE TOP OF
THAT THING AND THE BACK!
OH, THAT GIRLY LITTLE
RIDE THEY HAVE.
-HERE THEY COME, THE THEM TEAM,
THE LIFEGUARDS OF BAYWATCH!
-HEY, HEY, HEY,
GET BACK COWBOY!
-BREAK IT UP, IT'S ALL
ABOUT FUN, FUN ONLY!
MITCH BUCHANNON,
THE CAPTAIN OF THE TEAM!
-THAT'S RIGHT, AS YOU CAN SEE,
I'M WEARING A BLACK ARMBAND
IN MEMORY
OF THE MTV LOSS.
-NO! NO WAY!
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
-HEY, I'M DONNA AND I'M
HUNGRY FOR A VJ SANDWICH.
-CODY MADISON AND YOUNG
JENNIFER, YOU ARE ALL MINE.
-WHATEVER!
-I'M JORDAN TATE, AND MTV,
YOU GUYS ARE GOING DOWN!
-OH, JOHN, JOHN, JOHN!
-I'M NEWMIE AND
I'M GOING TO HATE
TO SEE PARTS OF VJ
ALL OVER THE BEACH.
-OH, NO, HUNK AND
HUNKETS, ONE AND ALL,
YOU GUYS, LET'S
HEAR IT FOR THEM!
[CHEERS]
-JENNY, LET ME TALK TO THIS
YOUNG LADY OVER HERE, JORDAN.
SO YOU SAYING IF I WAS DROWNING
YOU COULD REALLY SAVE ME?
-ABSOLUTELY, I'M A LIFEGUARD,
I SWIM FOR A LIVING AND YOU?
-OH, I'M GOING
TO THE POOL, BABY!
-YOU GOT HERE GOING ON, MAN!
SO MITCH, WE GOT
SOME SPECIAL GUESTS.
THE SPECIAL OLYMPIC
ATHLETES ARE HERE.
-AS YOU KNOW, ALL THE
PROCEEDS FROM THIS CONTEST
WIN OR LOSE GO TO THE
SPECIAL OLYMPICS TODAY!
WE ARE HONORED TO HAVE
THE SPECIAL OLYMPIC ATHLETES!
COME ON, GIVE IT UP
FOR THE ATHLETES!
COME ON UP HERE!
LET'S GO, BABY!
ALL THE PROCEEDS
FROM THIS CONTEST
GO TO THE SPECIAL
OLYMPICS, COME ON IN!
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, LET'S GIVE
IT UP FOR THE ATHLETES!
-ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS,
MAKE SURE YOU STAY TUNED
BECAUSE WHEN WE COME BACK,
WE'RE GOING TO GET
READY TO RUMBLE!
DON'T GO ANYWHERE, YEAH!
-BAYWATCH, BAYWATCH!
-PICKLED EEL, VERY HEALTHY.
-I ACTUALLY DON'T THINK THAT
PICKLED EEL IS ON MY DIET.
-OH, WHAT DIET IS THAT?
-THE EARTHLING DIET, CJ.
[LAUGHTER]
-TRY IT, YOU'LL LIKE IT!
WELL?
-MMMM!
-WELL, I HAVE A BIG SURPRISE!
-I DON'T THINK
ANYTHING COULD BE
A BIGGER SURPRISE
THAN THAT PICKLED EEL!
-ACTUALLY, IT COULD'VE
BEEN A PROBLEM,
BUT I LIKE TO THINK OF
PROBLEMS AS CHALLENGES.
YOU WANT TO TELL HER, CODY?
-NO, WHY DON'T YOU?
-CODY GOT EVICTED.
-NOT EVICTED, ASKED
POLITELY TO MOVE.
-COME ON, EAT, YOU GUYS!
YOU WANT BREAD?
-MMM...
-YEAH, CODY'S
LANDLORD GOT HER MOTHER
TO MOVE INTO THE APARTMENT.
-OH, THAT'S TOO BAD,
WHEN'D YOU FIND OUT?
-TODAY.
-WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE?
-THAT'S THE SURPRISE. HERE!
-HERE, WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, WITH US?
-YEAH, WE COULD SPLIT
EVERYTHING THREE WAYS.
JUST THINK OF ALL THE
MONEY WE'RE GOING TO SAVE.
WHAT, WE'VE HAD THREE
PEOPLE LIVE HERE BEFORE.
-BUT WE HAD THREE
GIRLS BEFORE, CJ.
CODY, CODY IS NOT A GIRL.
-SO?
-SO IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO LIVE
WITH ONE OTHER PERSON.
-WE GET ALONG FINE.
DON'T WE?
-YEAH, I MEAN
MAYBE THERE MIGHT BE
ONE OF TWO THINGS THAT YOU DO
THAT I DON'T PARTICULARLY LOVE.
-LIKE WHAT?
-NOTHING, NEVER MIND.
-NO, NO, CJ, SHE'S RIGHT.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW EVERYBODY
HAS THOSE LITTLE THINGS
THEY DO THAT DRIVE
OTHER PEOPLE CRAZY.
-ME, WHAT COULD I DO?
-WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU INSIST.
TEA BAGS!
-TEA BAGS?
-YEAH, TEA BAGS.
HERBAL, USED, AND OH,
YEAH, IN THE SINK.
THAT IS GROSS!
-WELL, I COULD SEE HOW
THAT COULD BOTHER YOU.
-YOU DO?
-BUT HONEY,
I HAVE NO PROBLEM
PICKING THEM UP AND
PUTTING THEM IN THE TRASH.
-WHERE THEY BELONG, THANK YOU!
-ARE YOU CALLING ME SLOPPY?
-CJ, I DON'T THINK...
-CAROLINE: YES.
-WELL, AT LEAST
I'M NOT A NEAT FREAK.
-OH, WHAT, LIKE ME?
-WHO ELSE COLOR CODES
THE VEGETABLE BINS
AND PUTS THE DAIRY PRODUCTS
IN THE REFRIGERATOR
BY EXPIRATION DATE.
-WELL, I JUST DO THAT
SO YOU DON'T DRINK BAD MILK!
-I DON'T DRINK MILK!
-HEY, HEY, HEY!
WELL, I THINK WE'VE MADE SOME
REAL PROGRESS HERE TONIGHT.
-SHUT UP, CODY!
-OW.
-YEAH, THIS IS A GREAT
PLACE TO PRACTICE.
THE MTV BEACH HOUSE CLIFF
IS JUST ABOUT THIS HIGH.
-YEAH, YOU SEE THE
YELLOW FLOWERS DOWN THERE?
THAT OUGHT TO BE ABOUT
WHERE THE SWIMMING POOL IS.
-SEE THE BIG BOULDER?
WHY DON'T WE TARGET
THAT AS WHERE
THE MTV CAMERA
IS GOING TO BE.
-PARACHUTING OFF CITY HALL,
BUNGEE JUMPING
OFF THAT BRIDGE, CRASHING
A TV SHOW PRIME TIME.
-NOTHING TO DO BUT DO IT.
SO FLASH THOSE PEARLY
WHITES FOR THE CAMERA,
AND READY,
JENNY, HERE WE COME!
GO!
I'M GOING FOR IT.
[SIREN BLARING]
-HEY, THERE'S NO HANG
GLIDING OFF THESE CLIFFS.
-HEY, SORRY, OFFICER,
WE DIDN'T KNOW.
-I SWEAR I SAW THOSE LIFEGUARDS
EATING TONS OF DONUTS.
HEY, DOES IT HURT HAVING TO
SUCK YOUR GUT IN THAT HARD?
-WHAT SIZE GIRDLE,
IS THAT VELCRO?
-WATCH IT, THAT'S MY MAN.
-OH, DIVER DARLING,
I'M A DIVA, GET IT RIGHT.
-DIVA, COME ON!
-YOU KNOW, LET'S
JUST LET THEM BE.
THEY NEED SOME WORK, THEY
NEED TO WORK ON THE PUSH UPS
AND SOME SIT UPS.
WE'LL GO OFF AND
KIND OF MODERATE.
-HEY, DONNA, ARE WE STILL
GOING OUT TONIGHT OR WHAT?
-GOOD LUCK!
-YEAH.
-HEY EVERYONE, JENNY MCCARTHY
HERE AT THE MTV BEACH HOUSE.
THE SUN SHINING
AND WE'RE HAVING FUN
AND IT'S BEEN BEACH
BLAST ALL WEEK LONG.
US VERSUS THEM,
WHO DO WE GOT OVER HERE?
CAT, CAT, COME ON
OVER HERE, HONEY!
OOH, LOOK WHO SHE'S WITH.
HI, HONEY, ARE YOU EXCITED
TO PLAY ON OUR TEAM?
-I CAN'T WAIT, I'M SO EXCITED.
-WHO ARE THESE HUNKS
YOU GOT WITH YOU?
-THESE ARE MY BOOKENDS.
[LAUGHS]
-WOW, NOT BAD FOR BOOKENDS.
OKAY, HONEY,
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
-ALL RIGHT.
-LISTEN, DALLAS, I KNOW
WE WORK TOGETHER AND EVERYTHING,
BUT I THINK WE COULD
GO GRAB A MOVIE,
MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER,
YOU KNOW, HANG OUT.
-HEY, GUYS, I'M GOING TO CATCH
YOU LATER, SEE YOU TOMORROW!
-MAN: ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU
LATER, DALLAS, TAKE CARE.
-MITCH, HI.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER, DO YOU?
-REMEMBER WHAT?
-SORRY, IT'S BEEN
A REALLY LONG TIME,
I-I CAN'T EXPECT YOU
TO REMEMBER.
-NO, IT'S OKAY,
GIVE ME A HINT.
-NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY LAME.
IT'S REALLY STUPID.
-NO, COME ON, IT'S GOT
TO BE IMPORTANT, WHAT?
-NO, TOMORROW WE'RE
GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT.
THAT'S WHAT I GOT
TO SAY, SEE YOU!
-FIRST OF ALL, ALL YOU
HAVE TO DO IS WALK OUT
HERE ON THIS
WONDERFUL LOG, RIGHT?
-OKAY.
-YOU GET TO THE MIDDLE,
YOU GOING TO TAKE
THIS PUNCHY STICK,
AND YOU'RE GOING
TO DEFEND YOURSELF, OKAY?
-OKAY.
-AND WHATEVER YOU DO, YOU
DON'T FALL IN THE WATER.
YOU GOT IT, CAN YOU DO IT?
-OF COURSE I CAN DO IT.
-ALL RIGHT, HEY, IF I WIN, THINK
WE CAN GO FOR A LITTLE SWIM?
-WE'LL SEE.
-GOOD TIME, BUT
WE'LL BEAT YOU HERE
WITH THE ICED TEA BY NINE
AND A HALF SECONDS, SORRY.
-THAT'S NOT ONE OF
THE BEACH BLAST GAMES.
-OH, NO, BUT IT'S ONE OF
MY PERSONAL FAVORITES.
-BAD KITTY!
-I KNOW.
-HEY, IT'S WATER
JOUSTING TIME, WHOO!
OH, OH, OH,
THERE GOES SIMON.
YEAH, SHE WINS IT!
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO!
DONNA FACES
THE NEW CHALLENGER,
BILL BELLAMY OR BUFFALO BILL!
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO CALL HIM!
COME ON, BILLY,
DO IT FOR MTV!
OH, NO, OH NO, YES!
BAYWATCH GOES DOWN!
NEWMIE IS GOING TO
GET HIM RIGHT NOW!
OH, GOD, OH GOD,
BELLAMY GOES IN!
MTV DOWN!
KATANA, THE MTV US TEAM
IS GETTING READY
TO FACE NEWMIE ON THEM
TEAM FOR BAYWATCH!
COME ON, KAT WOMAN, HERE WE GO!
THEY'RE COMING CLOSE!
-COME ON, KITTY!
-JENNY: NEWMIE, NEWMIE HAS
GOT THE RIGHT STUFF, I THINK!
GET HIM IN THE
BUTT, THAT'S RIGHT!
OH, GOD,
HE GOT HER IN THE BUTT!
THERE WE GO, YEAH!
THAT'S RIGHT,
KAT WOMAN DOES IT!
MTV RULES!
WE GOT SENCIO VERSUS CODY!
THERE'S BEEN A LOT
OF FRICTION GOING ON
BETWEEN THOSE TWO!
UH-OH, SENCIO IS DOING
SOME FLAT TALKING!
OH, THEY BOW TO EACH OTHER!
[BOTH SCREAMING]
WE GOT TWO COMEDIANS
ON OUR HANDS!
UH-OH, UH-OH, OH NO!
THEY BOTH GO IN, RIGHT ON!
-HEY, NOT BAD FOR A WIMP, MAN!
-YEAH, MAN!
-HEY, MITCH!
-HEY.
-APRIL 9TH, 1986.
-APRIL 9TH, 1986,
NOW WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
-WELL, YOU'RE
GOING TO HAVE TO GO
TO THE WAY BACK MACHINE
AND THINK ABOUT IT.
-APRIL 9TH.
-HEY, I'M WITH A GROUP
OF WINNERS RIGHT NOW.
THE SPECIAL OLYMPIC
ATHLETES WILL BE
PASSING OUT THE MEDALS
TO THE CHAMPIONS
OF THE BEACH BLAST GAMES,
BUT WE ALL KNOW WHO
THAT'S GOING TO BE, RIGHT?
WHO'S GOING TO WIN?
MTV, YEAH, MTV,
YOU GOT IT, HONEY!
-MTV.
-WHOO!
HELLO EVERYONE, IT'S
TIME, SO GET READY FOR
BIG GLOVE BOXING!
[CROWD CHEERING]
-ALL RIGHT, I GOT ONE, ONE,
TWO, TWO, THREE, THREE!
♪ BABY IT'S A PARTY WHEN IT COMES TO BLOWS
-AND THE WINNER IS MTV, YEAH!
♪ SO TURN IT UP, BRING IT ON
YA KNOW THAT IT'S GOOD FOR THE SOUL ♪
♪ WANNA TAKE YOU HIGHER
THAN YOU'VE EVER BEEN ♪
♪ AND IN THE MORNING LOOK LIKE
WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN ♪
♪ WE'RE DOING THIS THING
CALLED ROCK AND ROLL ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
OUT UNDER THE SUN ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
GONNA HAVE SOME FUN ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
OUT ON THE WAVES ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
THROW THE RULES AWAY ♪
♪ THAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME
THIS SUMMER DAY ♪
-MITCH, WEAR THIS
FOR GOOD LUCK.
-OKAY!
THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO!
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
OUT UNDER THE SUN ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
GONNA HAVE SOME FUN ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
OUT ON THE WAVES ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH...
-AT THE END OF THE FIRST
PERIOD OF COMPETITION,
THE LIFEGUARDS HAVE 45,
BEACH HOUSE IS 38, BOO-WHOO!
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY ♪
♪IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY ♪
♪ IT'S A BEACH PARTY BABY
♪ THAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME
THIS SUMMER DAY ♪
-THIS IS GREAT.
IT IS ISN'T IT?
-IT'S ONLY BEEN 10 MINUTES,
BUT SO FAR SO GOOD.
-I'M GLAD CAROLINE CAME AROUND.
-YEAH.
-IT'LL BE GREAT, WON'T IT?
-IT'S GOING TO BE
FANTASTIC, BABY.
[DOOR SLAMS]
[DOOR SLAMS]
[BASKET SLAMS]
-I... I FOUND YOUR
NEW GREEN SWEATSHIRT.
YOU LEFT IT IN THE WASHER.
-OH, THANK YOU, CAROLINE.
-SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT,
SO I...
I WASHED IT WITH MY WHITES.
WHAT, WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE ELECTRICITY?
-OH, WE'RE A MONTH
BEHIND, AREN'T WE?
-WHAT, NO, NO, NO,
WE GOT A FINAL NOTICE BILL.
-DID YOU PAY IT?
-DID I PAY IT?
I WROTE THE CHECK, I PUT
THE STAMP ON THE ENVELOPE,
YOU JUST HAD TO MAIL IT.
-I DIDN'T SEE IT!
-CJ, WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU DIDN'T SEE IT?
I LEFT IT RIGHT ON
THE KITCHEN COUNTER.
-NEAR THE OLD
STACK OF NEWSPAPERS?
-NO, I DON'T LEAVE OLD
NEWSPAPERS HANGING AROUND.
-I DID, IT MUST BE
UNDER THE OLD NEWSPAPERS.
-NO, NO, NO, I...
I THREW THEM OUT IN THE TRASH...
ALONG WITH THE OLD TEA BAGS.
[DOOR SLAMS]
-BAD DOG.
-ROOF.
[CROWD CHEERING]
-OKAY, GIRLS, YOU ALL SET?
OKAY, ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!
ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!
[HUFFING]
-HOLD ON, LET ME
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
CJ AND I HAD
A REAL SPECIAL TIME
ON THE DANCE FLOOR LAST NIGHT.
-YOU WERE OUT DANCING WITH CJ?
-YEAH, MAN, WHAT DO
YOU THINK OF THAT?
-THAT'S NOTHING,
JENNY MCCARTHY AND I
WERE OUT AT MALIBU UNTIL
SIX IN THE MORNING.
-WAIT, MY LITTLE J?
-JENNY MCCARTHY!
-STOP TALKING TRASH.
-YEAH!
-STOP TALKING TRASH.
LET'S GO, BABY, COME ON!
-OKAY, TAKE IT
OUT ON THE COURSE!
-ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!
-SUPER SENCIO, MAN,
I'M IN THE TRIATHLON!
OH, JEEZ, HEY LOOK, ROUGH
BEAT, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
-ALL RIGHT, SUGAR BUMPS, LUCKY
FOR YOU I'M A GENTLEMAN.
-YOU JUST TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF, GENTLEMAN.
-I WILL.
-TAKE YOUR MARKS. GET SET. GO!
-OW, GOD!
-GOOD THING YOUR
HEAD WAS THERE!
WHOO!
YEAH!
-THIS IS A WORKOUT FOR ME.
-OH, AH!
-HEY, LOOK OUT!
-YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
-HEY, LET GO OF ME!
-HEY, GET OFF ME,
THAT'S CHEATING!
-LOSER!
-HEY, WAIT UP, I'M
GOING TO WIN THIS RACE!
-HEY, GOOD FEET, SAYS YOU!
KEEP DANCING, TWINKLE TOES,
TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME!
-WHOO!
-HEY, COME BACK HERE!
-HEY, YOU'RE NO GENTLEMAN!
THAT'S OKAY,
BECAUSE I'M NO LADY!
-OH, HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR!
-OH!
-COME HERE, OH,
YOU'RE IN DANGER!
-WHOO!
YEAH, WHOO, VICTORY!
-MITCH, YOU'RE THE MAN.
-THANKS.
-ARE YOU READY?
-HEY, I WAS BORN READY.
-KIND OF EXTREME,
DROPPING IN UNINVITED.
-EXTREME IS MY MIDDLE NAME.
-GO, GO!
GO, GUY!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
GO!
-HERE I COME!
LET'S DO IT!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
-OKAY, EVERYONE,
PLEASE GATHER AROUND!
PLEASE GATHER AROUND, WE'RE
ABOUT TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER
OF THE BEACH BLAST MTV GAMES!
AND THE WINNER IS, BAYWATCH!
YOU'RE RIGHT!
[CHEERING]
BAYWATCH, COME ON UP!
THE SPECIAL OLYMPIC
ATHLETES WILL BE PRESENTING
YOU WITH MEDALS!
OKAY, PLEASE PRESENT THE MEDALS
TO THE BAYWATCH WINNERS!
WINNERS SALUTING...
-WHOO, BAYWATCH,
BAYWATCH, BAYWATCH,
BAYWATCH, BAYWATCH!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
-MAN: YOU'RE TOO CLOSE!
GO!
OH, OH, PULL IT BACK, AH!
-I CAN'T, I'M GONNA TO FALL!
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
-NEWMIE, CODY, JORDAN, COME ON!
-YOU GUYS, THIS IS
NOT A BEACH BLAST GAME.
THIS IS THE REAL THING!
-AH!
[MAN SCREAMS]
-WOMAN:
HELP! OVER HERE! HELP!
-THERE'S A REAL LIFE
RESCUE GOING ON RIGHT NOW.
THE BAYWATCH LIFEGUARDS
ARE SWIMMING OUT
INTO THE OCEAN TO
SAVE THE TWO VICTIMS.
-I'LL UNHOOK HIM.
-GET HIS HEAD UP!
[GASPS]
-LET'S GET HIM IN,
GET HIS LEGS UP!
-THE BAYWATCH LIFEGUARDS
HAVE REACHED THE VICTIMS
AND THEY ARE BRINGING
THEM TO SHORE RIGHT NOW.
-DONNA, MAKE SURE
WE'RE CLEAR!
-OKAY!
-THEY'LL PROBABLY
HAVE TO DO CPR!
WE SHOULD GO OVER THERE
AND FIND OUT, COME ON!
-CAREFUL, CAREFUL!
-LET'S PUT THEM DOWN.
-NO PULSE. BEGIN CPR.
-ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, BREATHE!
ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, BREATHE!
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE!
-YOU GUYS, ARE THEY ALIVE?
-BREATHE, ONE!
[COUGHING]
[CHEERING AND CLAPPING]
-YEAH, THAT'S FINE.
OKAY, OKAY. YEAH, THANKS.
[SLOW JAZZ MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
-MAN 1: YES'M, GILLIGAN,
YOU WERE RIGHT!
THIS IS A LOT BIGGER
INSIDE THAN IT IS OUTSIDE.
MAN 2: TOLD YOU!
MAN 3: GET TO BED, LITTLE BUDDY,
LOT OF WORK TO DO TOMORROW.
[BALL BOUNCING]
-CAN YOU TURN IT DOWN, PLEASE?
-IT WAS A GREAT DAY
AT THE BEACH HOUSE!
[BALL BOUNCING]
-CAN YOU TURN
THAT DOWN, PLEASE?
-WHY DON'T YOU TURN IT DOWN?
-THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHOW!
-CJ, I WAS IN HERE FIRST!
-YEAH, WELL YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE ON A DATE RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A SPECIAL.
-WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES THAT MAKE?
IT DIDN'T WORK OUT,
I'M HERE, SO WHAT?
WHY DO YOU HAVE
TO BE LOUDER THAN ME?
-SPEAK UP!
-YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT,
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
-CAROLINE!
-WHAT!
-HEY!
[WHISTLES]
-WHAT?
-I CAN'T HEAR!
-YEAH.
[TV AND RADIO TURN OFF]
WHERE?
WE'RE ON IT!
POOL FIRE IN THE MARINA.
DISPATCH IS CALLING THE
WHOLE ROSTER, LET'S GO!
-CODY: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
YOU GUYS, BUT I'M BEAT.
-WHO PUT AN EMPTY
BAG OF POTATO CHIPS
BACK IN THE CUPBOARD?
-"WE'RE SCOLDING
THE LOUSY TILFI"?
CAN YOU DECIPHER THIS
MESSAGE PLEASE, CAROLINE.
IT'S IN YOUR HANDWRITING.
-"THEY'RE HOLDING
THE BLOUSE UNTIL FIVE."
-"THEY'RE HOLDING THE
BLOUSE UNTIL FIVE"?
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT
BLOUSE FOR THREE WEEKS,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
NOW THEY PROBABLY
SOLD IT TO SOMEBODY ELSE!
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
-I DID TELL YOU, IT'S WRITTEN
THERE IN PLAIN ENGLISH.
OH, GOD!
NO DRINKING FROM
THE CARTON, YOU SLOB!
-MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT A SLOB.
-FINE, WHY ARE
YOU DEFENDING HIM?
I THINK YOU'VE KNOWN
ME A LITTLE BIT LONGER.
-HEY, HEY, LET'S JUST
HOLD IT FOR A MINUTE.
GUYS, WE JUST SAVED
FOUR LIVES TOGETHER.
I THINK WE SHOULD BE
ABLE TO LIVE TOGETHER.
-YEAH, REALLY.
-YEAH.
-NO, NO DRIBBLING IN THE HOUSE!
-AND KEEP THE TOILET SEAT DOWN!
[LAUGHING]
-OH, GROUP HUG.
-CANDY GRAM!
-WHOO. HEY, MITCH,
WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S THIS?
-MAIL GRAM.
-MAIL GRAM, HMM.
-I CHECKED THE OLD
INCIDENT REPORT.
ON APRIL 9TH, 1986,
A LITTLE 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL
WAS PULLED FROM
A RIP CURRENT BY TOWER 12.
-14-YEAR-OLD GIRL
WITH A BRACES
AND A BODY LIKE
AN IRONING BOARD.
-WELL, SOME THINGS DO CHANGE.
[LAUGHS]
DO YOU KNOW, I FOUND
THAT DRAWING IN MY TOWER,
I KEPT IT ON MY BULLETIN
BOARD IN MY OFFICE
ALL THESE YEARS AND I NEVER KNEW
WHO IT WAS FROM.
HOW COME YOU NEVER SIGNED IT
AND LET ME KNOW IT WAS YOU?
-ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I HAD A HUMONGOUS CRUSH ON YOU.
I WAS EMBARRASSED!
-HOW ABOUT NOW?
-WHAT, AM I EMBARRASSED OR
DO I STILL HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU?
[LAUGHS]
GIVE ME A PEN,
I'LL SIGN IT FOR YOU.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT YOUR BACK?
-WELL, THAT CONCLUDES
OUR BEACH BLAST WEEK
FOR THE MTV BEACH HOUSE.
WE LOST, BUT THAT'S OKAY,
ISN'T IT, JOHN?
-WELL, THEY USED AN ILLEGAL
AMOUNT OF SUN TAN LOTION,
THOSE DARN LIFEGUARDS,
BUT IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE,
SO IT'S ALL RIGHT.
-JENNY: EXACTLY, AND THEY'RE
IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE.
-YEAH, THEY CHEATED AND
I WANT A REMATCH, JENNY.
I'M NOT HAVING THIS,
THIS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME.
-OH, SIMON, YOU'RE
SUCH A BAD SPORT.
YOU ALMOST HAD IT OUT
WITH ONE OF THE LIFEGUARDS.
-WELL, THEY MADE US
LOOK A LITTLE SLUGGISH
WITH ALL THOSE JELLY
DONUTS AND STUFF.
I'M CODY, I GOT
A FLAT STOMACH...
-SURPRISE!
-OH, MY GOD, YAY!
-OKAY, WAIT, WE HAVE
A SPECIAL MESSAGE
FROM CARRIE AND THE
SPECIAL OLYMPICS ATHLETES.
-THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR HAVING US ON TV.
WE LOVE YOU!
[CHEERS]
-MTV, MTV!
-THANK YOU SO MUCH, GUYS!
-MTV, MTV, MTV!
[CHEERING]
[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]