Baywatch (1989–2001): Season 7, Episode 7 - Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - full transcript

C.J.'s mother, Shelly Sands, a former Las Vegas showgirl, arrives in town seeking C.J.'s help to get away from her mobster ex-boyfriend, Tony Malanto, and his goons who are determined to retrieve an incriminating computer disk of their gambling and income tax evasion schemes that Shelly stole as part of an insurance policy. When Malanto and his men hold C.J. and Shelly hostage on a remote beach, they force C.J. to look for the disk, until Mitch and Cody can figure out what's really going on in time to rescue them.

[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪

♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪

♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HAVE SOMEBODY ♪

♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF
SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪

♪ DON'T YOU WORRY

♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY

♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ I'LL BE READY



♪ NEVER YOU FEAR

♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS

♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE

♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY

♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪

♪ NO

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ NEVER YOU FEAR

♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS



♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE.

[RHYTHMIC MUSIC]

-CHECK, CLUE NUMBER ONE.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO FIND
ME YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO

THINK LIKE A NEANDERTHAL.

-LIKE A WHAT?

-A NEANDERTHAL,
YOU DUMMY! A CAVEMAN!

-ZACK, TELL ME YOU'RE
NOT IN THE CAVE.

-COME ON IN HERE, IT'S AWESOME!

-TELL ZACK TO GET OUT OF
THERE, THE WAVES ARE HUGE!

-ZACK, THE WAVES
ARE REALLY BIG.

YOU BETTER GET OUT, NOW!

[CAR HORN HONKING]

-CODY: HEY, BABY!

-HI, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

-CODY: PERFECT NOW
THAT YOU'RE HERE.

-ALL SYSTEMS ARE GO.

-NO KIDDING, EVERYTHING?

-YEP, EVERY LAST DETAIL.

-AW, CJ, YOU ARE THE BEST!

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD
TO THIS ALL DAY LONG.

-I HAVE YOUR FAVORITE
WINE, YOUR FAVORITE MUSIC,

YOUR FAVORITE FOOD.

WHAT ELSE COULD A MAN ASK FOR?

[LAUGHS]

I'M GOING TO MAKE ALL
YOUR WISHES COME TRUE.

-LET'S START RIGHT
NOW WITH MY FIRST WISH.

-WHAT'S THAT?

-HELP ME CLOSE THE TOWER
SO WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE.

-YEAH.

[LAUGHS]

[GASPS]

[TENSE MUSIC]

-HELP! HELP ME!

HELP!

-GO GET HELP! REMEMBER THE
LIFEGUARD TOWER WE PASSED?

ZACK?

-HELP!

-SO, ARE YOU HUNGRY?

-LET'S JUST SAY MY
APPETITE IS VORACIOUS.

[LAUGHS]

-CJ: CATCH!

-JUST TELL ME, TELL ME
WHAT THE SURPRISE IS!

-NO, I'M NOT
TELLING YOU ANYTHING.

-COME ON, CJ!

-IT'D BE BETTER
IF YOU DON'T KNOW.

OH, IT'S HOT OUT.
-IT'S NOT FAIR!

-YO, LIFEGUARD!

[PANTING]

MY BROTHER AND I
WERE PLAYING

HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK
ON OUR WALKIE-TALKIES,

AND HE'S STUCK IN
THE CAVE DOWN THERE.

-CAN YOU TAKE US TO HIM?
-YEAH.

-LET'S GO!

[TENSE MUSIC]

-HELP!

-MY BROTHER ZACK, HE'S
TRAPPED IN THE CAVE!

[GRUNTS]

-ZACK: HELP ME, I'M IN HERE!

[GASPS] HELP ME! HELP!

I'M HERE!

HELP, HELP!
HELP ME! I'M IN HERE!

PLEASE HELP! HELP ME!

OVER HERE! HELP!

-ALL RIGHT, I GOT
YOU! I GOT YOU.

ALL RIGHT NOW WE'RE GOING
TO TAKE A LITTLE SWIM, OKAY?

CAN YOU TAKE A DEEP
BREATH AND HOLD IT FOR ME?

ALL RIGHT.

ONE, TWO, BIG BREATH, THREE!

[GASPS]

-DON'T WORRY GUYS,
HE'S GOING TO FIND HIM.

[GASPING]

GRAB THE CAN!
-OKAY.

[GRUNTING]

-THERE!

OKAY, I'VE GOT HIM.

-ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE GOING
TO BE ALL RIGHT, BUDDY.

-THANKS FOR SAVING ME.

-COULD'VE GOTTEN
YOURSELF KILLED, BOZO.

-DOESN'T MATTER,
I'M DEAD ANYWAY.

LOST DAD'S WALKIE-TALKIE.

-OKAY GUYS, BACK
TO HEADQUARTERS.

I'M GOING
TO CALL YOUR PARENTS.

-GET WALKING.

[BIG BAND MUSIC]

♪ TIME IS LIKE A STORY
THAT WE'VE NOT READ BEFORE ♪

[CHEERING]

♪ NOW IS THE TIME
TO TAKE A CHANCE ♪

♪ GIVE IT YOUR ALL ONCE MORE

♪ OVER THE RULES I DOUBLE TOP

♪ HIT AT CENTER STAGE...

-WHERE IS SHE?

WHERE IS SHE?

-SORRY, MR. BLANTON.

SHE'S USUALLY ON TIME.

-YEAH, WELL THIS
IS THE LAST TIME

I'M GOING TO GIVE
THAT WOMAN ANYTHING.

-DEALER: PLACE YOUR BET.

-THERE SHE IS.

-HEY, SHELLEY!

WHERE YOU BEEN? COME ON!

YOU'RE MY GOOD LUCK CHARM!

YOU KNOW I CAN'T
WIN WITHOUT YOU.

-HI, TONY!

-MY GOOD LUCK CHARM!

-DO YOU LIKE MY DRESS?
-YEAH, BEAUTIFUL.

-YEAH?

-JUST BEAUTIFUL.
OKAY, HERE WE ARE.

LET'S DO IT!
-HERE WE GO.

-I NEED YOU TO WIN BIG FOR ME,

LIKE THE MONTE CARLO
LAST SUMMER.

-ALL RIGHT.
-ALL RIGHT, COVER THE LINE.

-BUT TONY,
THOSE ARE THOUSANDS!

-THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
I GOT MY GOOD LUCK CHARM!

-[LAUGHS] OKAY.

PUT A QUARTER EACH
ON THE HARD ROLLS.

HERE WE GO, YOU OKAY?

-I'M OKAY.

[LAUGHTER]

ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

-HERE WE GO.

YES!

-SHE ROLLS A 3. CRAPS.
[MURMURING]

I'M SORRY TONY, I--

-SHUT UP, SHUT
UP AND ROLL AGAIN.

PUT THE WHOLE QUARTER OF
A MILLION CREDIT LINE--

HEY! LISTEN TO ME.

I'M GOING TO BET THE WHOLE

QUARTER OF A MILLION
DOLLAR CREDIT LINE,

COVER ALL NUMBERS. YOU GOT IT?

-YES SIR, RIGHT
ON THE FRONT LINE.

-ALL RIGHT, DO IT.

-OKAY.
-ALL RIGHT.

-QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS?

-COME ON, IT'S ALL
RIGHT, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, DON'T THINK,
DO IT. COME ON.

-OKAY!

-COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON.

-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

WE GOT IT WORKING.

-AH, COME ON!

-HERE WE GO, HUH? GREAT!

-YES, YES!

-CRAPS AGAIN, LADY LOSES.

-DAMN IT!
[THUDDING]

-TONY, I--

-TAKE YOUR BAD LUCK
AND GET AS FAR AWAY

FROM ME AS POSSIBLE.

YOU HEAR ME? YOU HEAR ME?

NOW!

-TONY--
-NOW!

-BE CAREFUL, HONEY.

TONY'S LAST TWO GIRLS
WHOSE "GOOD LUCK" WORE OFF,

WERE NEVER SEEN AGAIN.

-WHAT? WHAT?

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

-NOW! I WANT YOU TO
LEAVE NOW! YOU HEAR ME?

GET OUT OF HERE!

TAKE HER UP TO THE
SUITE, I'LL BE UP THERE.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

-WHAT A NIGHT.

I MEAN SERIOUSLY,
HE DIDN'T HAVE TO BET

ALL OF THE MONEY, YOU KNOW?

I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK.

AND HE DIDN'T HAVE TO
SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT,

I HAVE NEVER EVER HEARD
HIM TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, WHAT
IS THE BIG DEAL HERE?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

-MS. SANDS, HAS
ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU

THAT YOU TALK TOO MUCH?

[SIGHS]

LOOK, MS. SANDS,
MR. BLANTON WILL BE UP SOON.

SO DO YOURSELF
A FAVOR, STAY PUT,

AND DON'T GET INTO
ANY MORE TROUBLE.

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

[SIGHS]

-QUARTER MILLION
DOLLAR CREDIT LINE,

HE COULD HAVE GOT
A BETTER SUITE.

YES, YES, YES, YES!

LET'S SEE HERE.

[GASPS] YES!

BINGO!

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

[GASPS]

[SHUFFLING MUSIC]

[GASPS] I'LL BET
THAT WASN'T REPORTED!

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

-QUARTER OF A MILLION
DOLLARS, UP IN A PUFF OF SMOKE.

AND THAT WOMAN HAS ALWAYS BEEN
MY LUCKY STREAK!

IT JUST MAKES YOU CRAZY.

IT JUST MAKES ME
CRAZY, I TELL YOU.

[LAUGHS]

-SHELLEY!

[TENSE MUSIC]

VINNIE!

VINNIE SHE GOT THE
DISK, SHE GOT MY FILES.

YOU GOT TO FIND HER, YOU
GOT TO GET THAT DISK BACK.

-I'LL GET THE BOYS ON IT
RIGHT AWAY, MR. BLANTON.

[LANGUID MUSIC]

[KNOCKING]

-MM, WHO COULD THAT BE?
IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT.

-I DON'T KNOW. WITH ANY LUCK,
WHOEVER IT IS WILL GO AWAY.

-MM.

[KNOCKING]

THEY'RE NOT GOING AWAY.

[QUICK KNOCKING]

-THAT WAS A DESPERATE KNOCK,
I'D BETTER GO GET IT.

-[SIGHS] NO, CJ!

-OKAY, THIS BETTER BE GOOD.

-HI, SWEETHEART!
-MOM!

-OH, MY CASEY JEAN, I'M
SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!

-CJ: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

-WELL, I--

OH, YOU'RE BUSY!

I'M INTERRUPTING.
I'LL COME BACK.

-NO, NO, NO,
STAY, STAY, STAY,

WE JUST OPENED A BOTTLE
OF MOET CHAMPAGNE.

-SHELLEY: OH!
-CJ: HOW COME YOU

DIDN'T CALL, I COULD
HAVE PICKED YOU UP.

-WELL...

-SOMETHING'S UP, ISN'T IT?

WHAT'D YOU DO,
WHAT'S GOING ON?

-UH...

I DON'T NEED AN EXCUSE TO
COME AND SEE MY BABY GIRL!

[LAUGHS]

-OR YOU'RE SCARED TO
DEATH OF EARTHQUAKES

AND YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER
COME BACK TO CALIFORNIA.

QUOTE, "I LOVE TO DANCE
BUT NOT WITH MY FURNITURE."

-[LAUGHS] SILLY BUMPS
AND GRINDS, I'M OVER IT!

-OH, REALLY?

-HI!

-THIS IS CODY. CODY, THIS
IS SHELLEY SANDS, MY MOM.

-NO KIDDING, IT'S UM,
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

-SHELLEY: HOW DO YOU DO?
-SHELLEY SANDS?

-OH, MY MOM IS THE
BEST DANCER IN VEGAS.

-WELL... [LAUGHS]

I NEEDED A CATCHY STAGE
NAME FOR MY VEGAS SHOW.

AND I JUST HAPPENED TO BE
THERE WITH CASEY JEAN'S DAD

WHEN, WELL, YOU KNOW...

[LAUGHTER]

HEY, SHE TOLD ME YOU
WERE A HANDSOME GUY

BUT SHE DID NOT TELL ME
YOU ARE A HEARTTHROB.

YOU'LL HAVE TO TELL ME
MORE ABOUT YOURSELF, HUH?

-I'D LOVE TO.

-I AM INTERRUPTING.

I CANNOT BARGE IN
ON YOU LIKE THIS.

-CJ: NO!
-SHELLEY: I'M GOING TO GO,

I'LL BE BACK.

-NO! CAROLINE, SHE'S
GONE FOR THE WEEKEND

SO YOU CAN HAVE HER ROOM.

-ARE YOU SURE?

-YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. ALL YOURS.

-WELL, ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

-HERE, LET ME GET THAT.

-NO, NO, NO,

YOU TWO JUST...
-CODY: ARE YOU SURE?

-STAY THERE, STAY THERE,
I'LL HANDLE THIS YOU TWO,

I'LL JUST SAY
GOODNIGHT. NIGHT, NIGHT!

-SO, THAT'S MOM.

-YEP, FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT.

[LAUGHS]

[KNOCKING]

-JIMMY: COME IN!

-OH, JIMMY, IS IT OKAY IF
I BRING MY MOM THROUGH HERE?

SHE WANTS
TO TAKE A LOOK AROUND.

-SURE.
-HI THERE.

-HI.
-THIS IS THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOM.

IT'S WHERE WE ALL CHANGE BEFORE

WE GO OUT TO OUR
TOWER ASSIGNMENTS.

AND THIS IS--
[GASPS]

-JOE: OH!
-OH.

-JOE: UH, SORRY.
-SORRY, JOE.

[LAUGHS]

ANYWAY, THIS IS
THE LADIES' SIDE.

MOM!

THIS IS WHERE A
LOT OF THE GUARDS

WERE TRAPPED DURING
THE EARTHQUAKE.

-OH! OH, OH, YEAH.

HI! I'M CJ'S MOM.

-YEAH!

-HOW DID YOU OVERCOME YOUR
PARANOIA OF EARTHQUAKES ANYWAY?

-HYPNOTISM.
-HYPNOTISM.

-MM-HM.

-I THOUGHT YOU WERE SCARED
TO DEATH TO BE HYPNOTIZED.

-YOU KNOW,
I FIGURED IT WAS TIME

TO GET OVER THAT FEAR TOO.

SO HERE I AM!

I'M SO HAPPY TO
BE WITH YOU, HONEY!

-OH, ME TOO!
-THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUN.

-YEAH.
OKAY WELL, I HAVE TO GO UPSTAIRS

TO GET MY TOWER ASSIGNMENT.

-SHELLEY: OKAY.
-CJ: ARE YOU READY?

-YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL
BE ALONG IN A LITTLE BIT

BECAUSE I WANT TO PUT ON
LOTS OF SUNSCREEN, OKAY?

-OKAY. YOU GUYS COMING?

-I WON'T TAKE LONG, I PROMISE.
-OKAY!

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

[LANGUID MUSIC]

-HEY, MOM!
-HI, HONEY!

OH, WHAT A WAY TO WORK!

-I KNOW, THIS IS MY
OFFICE. ISN'T IT GREAT?

-IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

-HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?

-WOW!

[LAUGHS] CASEY JEAN,

YOU DID NOT TELL
ME ABOUT ALL THESE

HANDSOME HUNKS YOU
HAVE IN YOUR LIFE.

HI.
-HI.

-I'M SHELLEY SANDS,
I'M CASEY JEAN'S MOM.

YOU MIGHT BE?
-THAT'S MY BOSS, MOM.

-MITCH, MITCH BUCHANNON.

YOUR MOM?
-YEAH.

-SHELLEY: YOUR BOSS, OH WOW!
-BOY: WHOA!

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

-NOW IF HE'S YOUR
BOSS, WHY DON'T YOU JUST

COME TO DINNER TONIGHT BECAUSE
I'M GOING TO BE COOKING.

-HELP!

-AND WE CAN GET
TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

-EXCUSE ME. COME ON!

-BOY: HELP!

HELP!

[CROWD MURMURING]

-MITCH: OKAY, OKAY,
I GOT YOU, I GOT YOU.

-WOMAN: WHAT HAPPENED?
I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!

-MITCH: OKAY, TAKE IT EASY.
-CJ: GRAB THE CAN.

-MITCH: WE'LL SWIM YOU IN.
-CJ: IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

-MITCH: ATTA BOY.
-IT'S OKAY.

-WOMAN: LOOKS
LIKE THEY GOT HIM!

-VINNIE! HOW DID YOU FIND ME?

-YOU WERE ALWAYS BRAGGING ABOUT

YOUR DAUGHTER THE LIFEGUARD.

TONY'S AT THE RITZ-CARLTON,

AND HE'D LIKE TO SEE YOU. NOW.

-YEAH, WELL, I DON'T
WANT TO SEE HIM, EVER!

-THAT'S FUNNY, THAT'S
WHAT HE SAID YOU'D SAY.

NOW LET'S GO!

-OW!

HEY!
HEY, LET GO OF ME!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
DRAG ME THE WHOLE WAY!

HEY LISTEN VINNIE,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST

GET A REGULAR JOB, WILL YOU?

-HANG IN THERE!

-OH, GOD, THAT'S MY BOY!

[COUGHING]

ZACK! ZACK!

-YOU HIS MOTHER?
-YEAH.

-OKAY. HE'S ALL RIGHT.

HE JUST SUCKED UP
HALF THE OCEAN.

[LAUGHTER]

-HEY!

-LISTEN, YOU JUST LET GO OF ME,

YOU BIG BOSS!

YOU OVERGROWN JABRONI!
-CJ: HEY!

[GRUNTING]

-HUH!

-WHO WAS THAT?
-NOBODY.

-WANT ME TO GO AFTER HIM?

-NAH, HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

-I SAW YOU STRUGGLING
WITH HIM, MOM.

-NO, NO, IT WAS NOTHING.

IT WAS THE SILLIEST THING.

WE BOTH FOUND A
HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL

IN THE SAND AND THAT'S
ALL THERE WAS TO IT.

NO, SERIOUSLY.

IT WAS $100, HE WANTED
IT, I WANTED IT.

AND THAT'S ALL
THERE WAS TO IT SO,

LET'S NOT MAKE A BIG
DEAL OUT OF THIS.

LET'S JUST GO AND
ENJOY THE DAY, OKAY?

COME ON, HONEY.

-YOUR MOM, HUH?

HOW COME YOU NEVER
TOLD ME ABOUT HER?

-MAKE SENSE NOW?

[QUIRKY MUSIC]
[TAPPING]

-SOMETHING WRONG?

-I FEEL LIKE A SINGLE
PARENT WITH TWO CHILDREN,

EXCEPT FOR ONE'S MY MOTHER
AND THE OTHER'S MY BOYFRIEND.

I DON'T KNOW WHO TO
WORRY ABOUT FIRST.

[KNOCKING]

-AH, MAYBE I CAN HELP.

-OH, REALLY?

-YOUR MOTHER IS
HEADED THIS WAY.

-LISTEN, YOU DO A GREAT JOB!

-THANKS!

-HAVEN'T SEEN ONE OF THOSE
IN A LONG TIME! [LAUGHS]

HI, HONEY!

I'M CJ'S MOM.
HAPPY TO MEET YOU.

HI, HI!

-CJ: HI.
-MITCH: HEY!

-HI. OKAY, I'M
EXPECTING BOTH OF YOU

FOR DINNER TONIGHT.

I'M GOING TO GO RUN
SOME ERRANDS, ALL RIGHT?

-OH, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHAT ERRANDS?

-I HAVE TO GET SOME
THINGS FOR DINNER

BECAUSE FRANKLY,
HER KITCHEN IS BARE.

-OH, WELL GOOD, I'M
OFF IN A FEW MINUTES.

WE'LL GO SHOPPING TOGETHER.

-HONEY, I WANT TO SURPRISE YOU!
[RINGING]

-BUCHANNON.

-I'M QUITE SURPRISED
ALREADY ACTUALLY,

I DON'T NOW IF
I CAN TAKE ANY MORE

OF YOUR SURPRISES, MOM.

[LAUGHS]

-YEAH, HANG ON,
SHE'S RIGHT HERE.

SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT
THE PHONE'S FOR YOU.

-FOR ME?
WHO WOULD KNOW I WAS HERE?

-THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

-UH, WHO'S CALLING?

TONY BLANTON.

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

-OH.

HELLO? HELLO?

NO, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

I'M SORRY, YOU HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.

-NOW WAIT A SECOND,
WHO'S TONY BLANTON?

-I DON'T KNOW, NOBODY.

-NOW, WAIT A SECOND,
THAT IS THE SECOND TIME

YOU'VE HAD A CONVERSATION
WITH NOBODY TODAY.

YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

MITCH, CAN I HAVE A FEW
MINUTES WITH MY MOM, PLEASE?

WE NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK.

-ABSOLUTELY! FAR BE IT FROM ME

TO INTERRUPT
A MOTHER-DAUGHTER CHAT.

-ALL RIGHT, CAN YOU
HAVE A SEAT PLEASE

BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING
TO SPILL YOUR GUTS.

-OKAY.

[SIGHS]

-GIVE.

-IT'S NOTHING, REALLY.

-I KNOW YOU, MOM.

"NOTHING" ALWAYS
MEANS "SOMETHING".

NOW, COME ON, I KNOW
YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.

BUT I CAN'T HELP YOU
UNLESS YOU TRUST ME.

-WELL...

I GOT INVOLVED WITH MR. WRONG.

-AGAIN?
-AGAIN.

I MEAN, WHAT CAN
I SAY? IT'S A GIFT.

-IT'S A CURSE.
-YEAH.

-I NEED TO MEET THESE MEN

BEFORE YOU GET
SO INVOLVED WITH THEM.

THAT WAY I CAN CHECK THEM OUT.

THEN THEY CAN'T
BREAK YOUR HEART.

-OR MY LEGS! [LAUGHS]

-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

-WELL...

-JUST START FROM THE BEGINNING,
GIVE ME ALL THE DETAILS.

-OKAY.

SHOULD I GIVE YOU THE
READER'S DIGEST VERSION?

-ALL OF IT, OR I'M
GOING TO BREAK YOUR LEGS.

[LANGUID MUSIC]

MOM, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GET
YOURSELF IN THESE SITUATIONS.

-WELL, HOW DID I KNOW
HE WAS GOING TO BE

DUMPING THESE GIRLFRIENDS
GOD KNOWS WHERE

WHEN THEIR GOOD LUCK WORE OFF?

THERE HE IS!
-CJ: WHICH ONE?

-THAT ONE, RIGHT THERE,
HE'S GETTING OUT OF THE POOL.

[LAUGHS]

-HERE YOU GO, MR. BLANTON.
-YEAH, THANKS. THANKS, VINNIE.

-HE'S GOT "MOB"
WRITTEN ALL OVER HIM.

-HA! YEAH, THAT'S
VINNIE WITH HIM.

-VINNIE? FIGURES.

-WAIT, WAIT!

CJ, CJ!

-TWO GRAND MARNIERS
AND MARGARITAS.

-WAITRESS: UH-HUH, ALL RIGHT.

-NOW, LISTEN TO ME, YOU GOON!

I WANT YOU TO STAY
AWAY FROM MY MOM.

-YEAH, AND QUIT FOLLOWING ME

AND SENDING VINNIE
TO THREATEN ME!

AND BOTH OF YOU, DON'T
GO NEAR MY DAUGHTER.

-OH, SO THIS IS
YOUR DAUGHTER, HUH?

ELKIE, I'LL MEET YOU RIGHT
HERE IN A LITTLE WHILE.

IT IS A GREAT
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

-WELL, IT'S DEFINITELY NOT
A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

[LAUGHS]

-FIRE IN THE DAUGHTER JUST
LIKE THE MOTHER, I LOVE IT.

[LAUGHS]

AND YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT

WITHOUT SAYING
GOODBYE, BABY DOLL!

-LEFT? I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE
THAT I EVER STARTED WITH YOU!

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF,

AND I DON'T INTEND TO
END UP LIKE THE OTHERS.

-WHAT OTHERS?

-THE OTHERS, THE OTHER WOMEN

WHO WERE YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARMS?

THEY DISAPPEARED?

[LAUGHS]

-WHERE DOES SHE GET THESE
PREPOSTEROUS STORIES?

I AM HERE BECAUSE
YOU GOT MY DISK.

-OH, YEAH? WELL, I DECIDED TO
TAKE OUT A LITTLE INSURANCE.

THE IRS WOULD BE PARTICULARLY
INTERESTED IN THE WINS,

ALL THE UNREPORTED WINS.

WE FIGURE ABOUT
A COUPLE OF MILLION BUCKS

YOU OWE IN BACK TAXES.

-AND IF MOM AND I
STAY HEALTHY AND ALIVE,

THE IRS DOESN'T
HAVE TO FIND OUT.

-YOU TWO BROADS, YOU WATCH
FAR TOO MUCH TELEVISION!

-WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOU
HAVEN'T BEEN WATCHING ENOUGH

BECAUSE IF YOU DID, YOU'D KNOW

WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT.

NOW DON'T MESS WITH MY MOM!

BELIEVE ME.

I'VE HAD PLENTY
OF YEARS OF EXPERIENCE

AND YOU WON'T WIN.

-YEAH!
-CJ: YEAH!

-TONY DOESN'T
LOOK SO TOUGH NOW!

-I THINK HE GOT THE MESSAGE.

-YEAH, NEITHER DOES
BIG OLD VINNIE!

-CJ: MM!

-THE WOMAN GIVES NEW MEANING
TO THE PHRASE "BAD LUCK".

-SHE SEEMS TO KNOW
ABOUT THE OTHERS.

-YEAH, NOW THE DAUGHTER
KNOWS EVERYTHING.

THEY KNOW FAR TOO MUCH.

YOU GOT TO FIND THE DISK FOR ME,

AND THEN I WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE

OF SHELLEY AND HER DAUGHTER.

MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN
ACCIDENT, ALL RIGHT?

-DON'T WORRY, MR. BLANTON,
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

-GOOD.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]

LOOK AT THIS MESS.

[SWING MUSIC]

-NOW WE'RE SHAKING
OUR SHOULDERS.

OKAY, ARE YOU READY?

NOW, ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

ONE MORE, ONE MORE,
NOW WE TWIRL!

TWIRL, ONE MORE TIME.

[LAUGHS]

NOW YOU THRUSH AND YOU THRUSH.

HA!

THIS IS THE PART WHERE THE
FELLAS THREW ME IN THE AIR,

I LOVE THAT PART.

[LAUGHTER]
[CLAPPING]

COME ON.
-BRAVO!

-BOTH OF YOU, COME ON.
-NO, NO, NO, NO.

-COME ON, LET'S TRY IT.

-MOM, THEY'RE
TIRED, THEY'RE TIRED

FROM LIFEGUARDING ALL DAY, MOM.

-OH, NO, YOU'RE
NOT TIRED ARE YOU?

-NO, THIS IS THE QUIET
PART OF THE EVENING,

YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU LAY
BACK AND HANG AND RELAX?

-NO, NO, NO, COME ON. COME ON!

COME ON, YOU GO OVER THERE.

-CJ!

[GROANS]
-GO! GET READY.

OKAY, COME ON.
[SWING MUSIC]

GET THE BEAT. SHAKE
YOUR SHOULDERS.

COME ON, YEAH.

GET READY!

ONE, TWO, TO THE RIGHT,
TO THE LEFT,

ONE MORE TIME!

OKAY, YOU GOT IT!

NOW TWIRL EVERYBODY, TWIRL!

[LAUGHS]

OKAY, NOW THRUSH, AND A THRUSH.

NOW THIS IS THE PART
WHERE WE GO IN THE AIR!

[LAUGHTER]

I LOVE THIS PART!

-I THINK I'LL STICK
TO TAN AND SURFING.

-NO, YOU'D BE A GOOD LIFTER!

COME ON, I'LL GIVE
YOU A GLASS OF WINE.

-THANKS.
-YOU DID GOOD!

-YOUR MOM IS NUTS,
JUST LIKE YOU, CJ.

-[LAUGHS] I KNOW.

TA-DAA!

-HONEY.

I WANT TO THANK YOU AGAIN
FOR HELPING ME OUT TODAY.

I HATED INVOLVING YOU,

BUT I DIDN'T WANT
TO LIE TO YOU EITHER.

-WELL, I JUST HOPE YOU
LEARNED YOUR LESSON

ABOUT GETTING INVOLVED WITH
THE WRONG TYPE OF PEOPLE.

I STILL THINK YOU
SHOULD CALL THE POLICE.

-WELL, WHAT CAN THEY DO?

BECAUSE TONY,
ALL HE DID WAS THREATEN ME.

I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE HIM.

MONEY AND GAMBLING,
THAT IS THE ONLY THING

THAT'S IMPORTANT TO HIM.

AS LONG AS I HAVE THE DISK,
THEN WE'LL BE FINE.

-SPEAKING OF THE
DISK, WHERE IS IT?

-UH, DISK? WHAT DISK?

HERE YOU GO.

-NOT DISK, DISCO!

-DISCO!
-[LAUGHS] COME ON.

-OH, NO! [LAUGHS]

[PEACEFUL MUSIC]

-CASEY JEAN, I'VE HAD THE MOST

FABULOUSLY PEACEFUL DAY TODAY.

REALLY!

I FEEL LIKE A BIG
WEIGHT HAS BEEN

LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS.
I HATE TO LEAVE.

-WELL, I'M FINISHED CLOSING UP.

-SHELLEY: OKAY.

-ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO!

-DID YOU SEE THIS GUY?
HUH? LOOK.

THINK HE LIKES OLDER
WOMEN? [LAUGHS]

-GOOD?
-YEAH.

OH, I LOVE THIS PLACE.

I SHOULD HAVE GOT A JOB
LIKE THIS WHEN I WAS A KID!

OH, THIS BAG...

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

-UH-OH, MOM, WE GOT TO GO.

BACKUP, I'M CALLING FOR BACKUP!

-CASEY JEAN, LET'S GO!

[SCREAMING]

WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE?

[SCREAMING]

-MOM!
-[GRUNTING] CJ!

[MOANING]

VINNIE, YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME!

[GROANING]

-MOM, ARE YOU OKAY?
-FINE.

-LADIES, THE HONOR OF YOUR
PRESENCE HAS BEEN REQUESTED.

-OW!

OW!

WHO'S THAT GUY, THE
NEW GOON OF THE MONTH?

OW!

WHERE ARE YOU TAKING US?

WAIT!

-WAIT!

-LET'S JUST BE A LITTLE
MORE GENTLE, OKAY?

YOU USED TO BE SUCH
A NICE GUY, VINNIE.

-LADIES, WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.

HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE, WON'T YOU?

AW, COME ON, GIRLS. PLEASE?

[GASPS]

NOW LADIES, THIS ISN'T
USUALLY MY STYLE.

I DON'T ORDINARILY DO COVES.

BUT I DECIDED TO
MAKE AN EXCEPTION.

CAN I OFFER YOU
SOME CHAMPAGNE?

[SCOFFS]

NO?

IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE.

THE WAY I SEE IT,
YOU GOT TWO CHOICES.

YOU CAN GIVE ME THE
DISK AND WALK AWAY,

OR YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE
TO EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW.

SO WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE?

-I TOLD YOU THAT
IF ANYTHING HAPPENED

TO EITHER ONE OF US,
THE DISK IS GOING TO BE

IN THE HANDS OF THE
IRS, AND I MADE COPIES!

-I'M A GAMBLING MAN, YOU KNOW?

I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE
KNOWING WHEN TO GAMBLE,

AND WHEN NOT TO.

I KNOW A BLUFF
WHEN I SEE ONE.

MY INSTINCTS TELL ME THAT
YOU'RE BLUFFING, BABY DOLL.

-TONY, YOU'RE
ON A LOSING STREAK

AND YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE AGAIN.

-LET ME REPHRASE
MY GENEROUS OFFER.

YESTERDAY, YOU ALMOST SAW

SOMEBODY'S CHILD
DROWN ON THE BEACH.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
SEE YOUR CHILD DROWN, EH?

OH, THE OCEAN IS RIGHT THERE,

AND VINNIE AND GABE
ARE STANDING THERE.

HOW DO YOU THINK
SHE'D LIKE TO WATCH

HER LIFEGUARD DROWN?

[LAUGHTER]

-OH, YOU'RE NOT
SERIOUS, YOU CAN'T BE!

[SCREAMING]
HEY, STOP THAT!

NOW, ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET IT
FOR YOU, I HID IT.

I PUT IT IN CJ'S
LOCKER AT HEADQUARTERS.

NOW, CAN WE GO?

-YOUR LOVELY
DAUGHTER CAN GO NOW,

AND GET THE DISK FOR US.

-HOW DO WE KNOW THAT
YOU WON'T KILL US ANYWAY?

-YOU DON'T KNOW.

BUT HEY, YOU GOT TO TAKE
THAT CHANCE, THAT GAMBLE.

BECAUSE YOU GOT NO OTHER CHOICE.

NOW,

YOU BE BACK IN ONE
HOUR, YOU HEAR ME?

ONE HOUR OR YOUR MOM IS GOING
TO GO FOR A LITTLE SWIM.

HEY!

I WANT YOU TO COME
BACK BY YOURSELF.

NO COPS.

-AND YOU ACCUSE US OF
WATCHING TOO MUCH TELEVISION.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, MOM.

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

-WELL, AS LONG WE'RE GOING
TO WAIT, CAN I HAVE A DRINK?

-OH, SURE, BY ALL MEANS.

IT'S GOOD STUFF, VERY GOOD YEAR.

WHOA! GOOD LUCK. [LAUGHS]

HERE YOU ARE, SWEETHEART.

HEY, SALUD!

-UP YOURS, VINNIE.

-AW, COME ON, WE'RE
GOING TO BE FRIENDS,

AREN'T WE, BABY DOLL? [LAUGHS]

-SO THE VICTIM'S
NAME WAS WALT, 14...

HEY, CJ, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

-DISK, DISK, DISK, DISK.

-WHAT'S WRONG?

-NOTHING! NOTHING. UM...

-CJ, I KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG.

-NO, NO, I JUST HAVE
TO GET OUT OF HERE.

BYE.

HERE! NOW, COME ON, MOM,
LET'S GO.

-NOT SO FAST!

VINNIE, I WANT YOU
TO CHECK AROUND,

MAKE SURE SHE DIDN'T
BRING BACK ANYONE.

-DID YOU BRING SOMEBODY?

-WHAT?

-EVERYTHING'S
COOL, MR. BLANTON.

THERE'S NOBODY OUT THERE.

-THIS IS THE CORRECT DISK.

-GOOD, THEN WE CAN GO.

-NOT SO FAST.

SORRY, BUT THAT I CANNOT ALLOW.

-I KNEW YOU WERE GOING
TO DO THIS, YOU BIG JERK!

-YOU SAID IF I BROUGHT YOU
THE DISK THAT WE COULD GO!

-I LIED.

COME ON, LET'S GET
GOING. OVER HERE.

[TENSE MUSIC]

-CJ: GEEZ!

-SHELLEY: OW!

OW!

[SHOUTING]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GRUNTING]

[SHOUTING]

-GET OVER THERE,
GET OVER THERE!

-CJ: GET HIM, MOM!

-YOU SHOULD LIFT
SOME MORE WEIGHT!

[GRUNTING]

-GIVE UP?

-MITCH: GET UP!

-KICK HIM, HONEY, KICK HIM!

KICK HIM, KICK HIM!

YEAH!

-CODY: THAT'S FOR MY
GIRLFRIEND'S MOTHER!

-CJ: GET HIM, MOM!

[SHOUTING]

-COME ON, COME ON!

LET'S GO.

[SHOUTING]

-YOUR CRIMES ARE
OVER, YOUNG MAN.

-CODY: LET'S GO, MOVE IT.

-COME ON, COME ON, YOU'RE OKAY.

COME ON OVER HERE. COME ON.

YEAH, YEAH, COME ON, COME ON.

[BICKERING]

-I NEVER THOUGHT I'D
BE THANKING SOMEONE

FOR NOT BELIEVING ME.

[LAUGHS]

-YOU OKAY?
-YEAH.

[PEACEFUL MUSIC]

-HEY, MOM, WHAT YOU THINKING?

-OH.

HOW BEAUTIFUL THE BEACH
IS THIS TIME OF DAY.

HOW PEACEFUL.

AND HOW TONY'S GOING TO
LOOK WEARING THOSE STRIPES.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS IS A MAN WHO
WOULD NEVER EVEN

WEAR A STRIPED TIE.

-WELL, SITTING BEHIND BARS IS
EXACTLY WHERE TONY SHOULD BE.

-YEAH.

I TOLD HIM NOT TO
MESS WITH MY MOM,

HE SHOULD HAVE LISTENED.

[LAUGHS]

-CASEY JEAN, I AM SO
HAPPY FOR YOU, HONEY.

YOU HAVE SUCH A GOOD LIFE.

GOT A JOB YOU LOVE AND
OH, SO MANY FRIENDS

WHO REALLY LOVE YOU.

-YEAH, IT'S ALMOST PERFECT.

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

-YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU
WERE A LITTLE GIRL

YOU WOULD NEVER, EVER
LET ANYBODY SEE YOU CRY.

NOT EVEN ME.

I GUESS SOME THINGS
NEVER CHANGE, HUH, HONEY?

-I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO, MOM.

-CASEY JEAN,

I NEARLY GOT BOTH OF US KILLED.

I'VE JUST GOT TO GET
MY LIFE TOGETHER NOW.

AND THEN I'M GOING
TO GO OUT THERE

AND SEE WHAT'S LEFT FOR ME.

JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN
YOU LEFT VEGAS AND ME.

I GOT TO GO NOW.

AND...

I'LL FIND MYSELF

A LITTLE NICHE, YOU KNOW?

-I JUST WISH YOU COULD
FIND YOUR NICHE HERE,

WITH ME.

-WELL,

WHEN I GET THIS ACT TOGETHER

AND I CAN TAKE IT ON THE ROAD,

I'M GOING TO BE BACK.

-REALLY?

PROMISE?

-OH.

CASEY JEAN.

ALL THE WHILE YOU
WERE GROWING UP

IT WAS JUST YOU

AND ME, REMEMBER?

AND BEING WITH YOU
THESE PAST FEW DAYS

HAS BROUGHT IT ALL
BACK, SWEETHEART.

YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND.

AND YOU KNOW ME BETTER
THAN ANYBODY, HONEY.

I JUST NEED A LITTLE
TIME NOW AND I'LL...

I'LL BE BACK.

-I LOVE YOU, MOM.

-OH, BABY!

I LOVE YOU.

[LAUGHS]

[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]