Batman (1966–1968): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Penguin's a Jinx - full transcript
Bruce Wayne escapes the Penguin's deathtrap and returns to the Batcave. What he doesn't know is that one of the Penguin's clues, an umbrella, has a listening device. As a result, the Penguin listens in as the Dynamic Duo debate what the clues mean and what caper the Penguin may attempt to pull. As a result, the Penguin kidnaps movie star Dawn Robbins.
In the last bat episode,
we saw a grand opening...
with a big come on.
Then pandemonium.
The tell-tale umbrella, the
mark of that old devil, Penguin.
The bat call was made.
Batman leapt into the fray...
against the Penguin...
and his fine-feathered finks.
What was their plot? A bank job?
No, another red herring.
And then...
a monster umbrella...
with a clue attached.
Baffling to The Dynamic Duo...
they decided to
bug the tricky bird.
The bug was planted and
the Penguin was bugged.
Batman was trapped...
and ready for the barbecue.
It was getting very warm.
But wait, the worst
is yet to come.
Something is fishy, Alfred.
No signal from the super-powered
radio transmitter built into that spider?
Not even a carrier wave.
It might be due to
sunspots, Master Robin.
I believe they can inhibit even
the most powerful radio waves.
Mm?
It does seem wrong, however.
I do hope Mr. Bruce hasn't
fallen into some, eh, hotspot.
- Drat, that heat is waking him up.
- It won't do him no good, Penguin.
- We hooked that net down real tight.
- Yeah, it's like steel.
It's like a real
golden eagle net.
- Who is that guy, anyway?
- That's what I'd like to know.
I've seen him someplace before.
Has he flipped?
That guy needs his cigarette
lighter like a moose needs a hat rack.
You fool, that's the
kind I use myself.
It's filled with a lifetime supply of
butane gas, compressed inside.
If he managed to toss
that into the furnace...
- Don't worry, boss. We'll get him.
- Wait a minute.
- Let him go.
- What?
He'll go running to
the cops, Penguin.
How can he, you bird brains?
He's a crook himself, remember?
- He was trying to bug my shop.
- Say, yeah, that's right.
The main thing is he won't come
nosing around here anymore.
Besides, I need the both of
you here, my fine-feathered finks.
The time is almost nigh.
At the signal, the time
will be precisely 5:20.
Forty minutes to go.
At precisely 6:00, the built-in timer
will send the bat-brella into action.
Exactly two minutes to 6.
I'll give Bruce two minutes more
then I'll call the commissioner.
Very wise, Master Robin.
Doubtless, the police will
inaugurate a most effective search.
Hot-diggity, here he comes now.
- What happened, Batman?
- Penguin almost out-foxed me.
Good heavens, sir. You look as if
you've been in some sort of a nasty snare.
Oh, it was nothing, Alfred. You might
go up and tend to my clothes though.
They're in rather rocky shape.
Very good, sir.
Our scheme for bugging
the Penguin's lair won't work.
We'll have to solve the mystery
of the bat-brella ourselves.
Right, let's muster
all of our brain power.
Stroke of 6. Let's see
how my gimmick is working.
Gosh, Batman, this
is sure a tough one.
Jumping jiminy, it's
The Boy Wonder.
It's my most dazzling stroke.
A secret radio transmitter built
into the handle of the bat-brella.
I wonder if these
colors mean anything.
The colors are
certainly striking.
Could it be the Penguin's way of taunting us
with a clue to where he's going to strike.
Hey, you've got something.
This green could stand
for money or emeralds.
Or is it all the colors
taken together?
You mean, like a
collection of gems?
The jeweled meteorite
on display at the museum.
Ah, wow!
Studded with emeralds and diamonds and
rubies, the Penguin's favorite birdseed.
- Could he get at it, though?
- Just a sec.
We'll check the
plans of the museum.
What did I predict? Batman
has picked our crime.
Next, he'll tell
us how to do it.
- You're a real genius.
- Shh!
Gotham City Museum.
Third floor plan.
- Impossible.
- Burglar proof.
Not even the Penguin could get
through those security devices.
Scratch the jeweled
meteorite, back to the bat-brella.
Curses, that sounded
like a sweet caper.
Fear not, dear finks. I
know Batman's fertile mind.
He'll come up with another.
I still think the clue
must be in the colors.
They're so pretty. It's
like a beautiful dawn.
- Beautiful dawn?
- Huh?
Dawn Robbins, the
beautiful movie star.
- She's on location here in Gotham City.
- Holy popcorn.
Could he be planning
to kidnap her?
Dawn Robbins in a picture called The
Mockingbird produced by Ward Eagle...
and she's staying in the
penthouse at the Pelican Arms.
- Birds in every bush.
- A Penguin ploy if I've ever heard one.
It'd cost Eagle countless
thousands a day if she were gone.
Quick, Batman, let's figure out
how the Penguin plans to pull it.
Hawkeye, get out your notebook.
Pelican Arms Hotel,
upper stories, general view.
- Look, it's a perfect setup.
- How, Batman?
The Penguin operates from
this roof across the street.
He shoots the line to
Dawn's penthouse terrace...
then slides down the line
on one of his tricky umbrellas.
Gosh, yes. He's got all that equipment
readymade in his criminal storeroom.
It's a fiendish,
well-laid scheme.
- Only we're onto it.
- Right.
What'll we do? Tip off
Commissioner Gordon?
Not on your life.
The Penguin and I
have a score to settle.
We'll put the salt
on his tail ourselves.
To the Pelican Arms,
my fine-feathered finks.
Where we'll hatch the
Batman a certain surprise.
Charming, Ms.
Robbins. Delightful.
Just the thing for
Funboy Magazine.
Now, if you could just
curl up a trifle more.
- Hmm?
- Oh.
What a drag it is being a
famous movie star and so rich.
Why doesn't anything
exciting ever happen to me?
Well, one never knows what lurks
around life's corner, Ms. Robbins.
Here we are, right under Dawn
Robbins' penthouse terrace.
Gosh, Batman, it's high. Pretty
tough throw of the bat-a-rang, huh?
Good point. Better
use the batzooka.
Aha.
It's just like
Batman's blueprint.
There's Robbins' nest across
the way. Let's get to work.
Ready with the batzooka.
- What was that?
- It sounded like a batzooka.
The Dynamic Duo, they
just fired the famous bat-hook.
Bull's-eye. The hook caught
the railing of the terrace.
Yeah, the game is going exactly
as I planned. Let's get to work.
Thanks, Wilbur. Now get those prints
to Mr. Eagle. He'll be expecting them.
- I'm going out for air. It's stuffy in here.
- Wait, I'll get you a wrap.
If you catch a cold, it'll cost
Mr. Eagle countless thousands.
Oh.
What a boring humdrum life
this is. I'm not even a person.
I'm merely a commodity,
like soap. It's like...
Eek!
Oh, help. There's
guys from outer space.
Don't be alarmed, Ms.
Robbins, we're not lawbreakers.
We're here to
protect you, ma'am.
Great Scott, The Caped
Crusader and The Boy Wonder.
Who?
Oh, being a stranger to Gotham
City, of course, you wouldn't know.
Batman and Robin,
ace crime fighters.
Oh, gee whiz, Batman, you're kind
of cute. Could you use some publicity?
- Oh, I'm sorry, Ms. Robbins, I...
- Forget it.
Batman never lends himself
to commercial enterprises.
- We're here to foil a daring crime.
- A plot to kidnap Dawn Robbins.
- What?
- Me?
- Her?
- No time to explain.
Now just do as I say. Listen.
Aha.
- All set, you birds?
- All set, Penguin.
All right, let's show that my penguin
line is the match for that bat rope.
Catapult, shoot.
Perfect. Let's go.
Who says penguins can't fly?
Perfect, yes.
Plug in the Penguin magnet
and wait till I give you the signal.
Waugh, waugh.
- Surrender, you foul bird.
- It's back to the pen for you, Penguin.
Well, well, so this is the end of
my fiendish, well-laid plan, is it?
Oh, holy lodestone,
what's happening?
- We're in the grip of...
- My Penguin magnet.
It's irresistibly drawing the
metal objects in your utility belts.
Oh, he's right, Batman. It's
stronger than we are. Unh!
Well, look at you,
The Dynamic Duo...
their faces completely covered
with penguin egg. Ha, ha.
Start the winch.
- What do we do now, Batman?
- If we could just get our utility belts off.
Holy flypaper, what a fix.
Victory for the tricky birds?
The Dynamic Duo's darkest hour.
Dawn, gone.
One dawn gone but
then another comes.
I see. So this was the clue which allows
you to anticipate the Penguin's crime, huh?
- And a fat lot of good it did.
- Oh, enough, Mr. Jay.
Who could possibly have foreseen
the Penguin's gigantic magnet?
- Oh, he's right, commissioner, we failed.
- And how?
If that room service waiter hadn't
come in, we might still be stuck there.
I say pay the ransom.
I say nothing matters but Dawn's
safety and Mr. Eagle's shooting schedule.
I agree with Mr. Jay.
With the first part anyway.
Do you have the money?
Right here in this
suitcase, Batman.
Two hundred thousand dollars in
unmarked bills of small denomination.
Chief O'Hara, give
us a summary...
of the Penguin's ransom
instructions once again.
Well, it's a trade, sir. See,
the dough for Ms. Robbins.
He'll pick up the suitcase and leave
the girl in its place, unharmed, says he...
- but for the effect of a mild anesthetic.
- Mm-hm.
- When and where?
- A neutral spot.
He suggests the front
hall of Wayne Manor.
As the commissioner knows, that's the
beautiful home of Bruce Wayne, the millionaire.
I know. Mr. Wayne and I are
close friends. I've dined there.
The time is to be
10 this morning.
If we agree, we're to
fly a red gas balloon...
from the statue of George
Washington in Gotham Square.
- What do you think, Batman?
- We have no choice. I buy it.
- Yes, yes, gladly.
- Then, chief...
you arrange for the balloon
and I'll call Bruce Wayne.
Begging your pardon, sir, but I've taken
the liberty of doing that myself already.
- What did Mr. Wayne say?
- It was the butler I spoke with.
- Mr. Wayne and his ward are away fishing.
- Good.
Let's deliver the ransom
money ourselves, Batman.
Right, Robin. We'll
do even better.
I seem to remember a picture in the Gotham
City Times, some, uh, society affair.
Inside the front hall of Wayne Manor,
aren't there two suits of ancient armor?
- Yes, of course.
- I get it.
We'll hide inside the armor.
Soon as the girl is safe, we pounce.
Right again, Robin.
The last trick of this
tricky hand is ours.
Will the Penguin and his
finks have the last laugh?
Yes, sir, what can I do...?
Sleep tight, my little ones.
By the time you
awake in 18 hours...
I'll be safe in my
hideaway in Alaska.
Who's there at the door,
Alfred? If it's the cleaning man...
Oh! Alfred.
Oh!
Close the door.
We'll divide the loot and
we'll fly our separate ways.
Wrong, Penguin.
- You'll all fly together.
- Up the river, you birds of a filthy feather.
You betrayed yourself
at the penthouse.
You used the very same words
I had spoken in the bat cave.
We found out about your
secret radio transmitter.
- We acted out a charade to trap you.
- But the gas. I put you to sleep in the armor.
- I saw it.
- A trap.
- Dummies in that armor.
- We were here all the time.
All right, boys, our umbrellas.
- Saints alive.
- No, Chief O'Hara, not saints alive.
Four birds bagged.
Tell Warden Crichton
they keep better on ice.
Oh, come on, Aunt Harriet, just
one more hors d'oeuvre, huh?
After all that shrimp salad?
No, indeed, Dick Grayson.
I'm not going to see
you have nightmares.
It's bad enough that our peaceful home
was involved in a wicked crime last week.
My, oh, my, if you
had seen what I saw.
You see, Dick and I were off fishing.
You really know as much about it as I do.
You've read it in the papers.
Perhaps you'd like to wander over
there and ask Commissioner Gordon.
The origin of the bat costume,
ladies and gentlemen, is simple.
As Batman realized when
he set out in his crusade...
nothing so strikes terror
into the criminal mind...
as the shape and
shadow of a huge bat.
Oh, Ms. Robbins, Mr. Jay, I'm
so delighted you could come.
Our host, Ms. Robbins,
Mr. Bruce Wayne...
..head of the famous,
philanthropic Wayne Foundation.
You don't say.
Gosh, what's the matter
with that gorgeous girl?
Her manner did
seem a trifle odd.
The lingering effects of
that criminal's gas perhaps?
No, Mr. Wayne, it's more tragic
than that. Much more tragic.
She only glimpsed him for a moment
and she's hopelessly in love with him...
..her unknown savior, Batman.
we saw a grand opening...
with a big come on.
Then pandemonium.
The tell-tale umbrella, the
mark of that old devil, Penguin.
The bat call was made.
Batman leapt into the fray...
against the Penguin...
and his fine-feathered finks.
What was their plot? A bank job?
No, another red herring.
And then...
a monster umbrella...
with a clue attached.
Baffling to The Dynamic Duo...
they decided to
bug the tricky bird.
The bug was planted and
the Penguin was bugged.
Batman was trapped...
and ready for the barbecue.
It was getting very warm.
But wait, the worst
is yet to come.
Something is fishy, Alfred.
No signal from the super-powered
radio transmitter built into that spider?
Not even a carrier wave.
It might be due to
sunspots, Master Robin.
I believe they can inhibit even
the most powerful radio waves.
Mm?
It does seem wrong, however.
I do hope Mr. Bruce hasn't
fallen into some, eh, hotspot.
- Drat, that heat is waking him up.
- It won't do him no good, Penguin.
- We hooked that net down real tight.
- Yeah, it's like steel.
It's like a real
golden eagle net.
- Who is that guy, anyway?
- That's what I'd like to know.
I've seen him someplace before.
Has he flipped?
That guy needs his cigarette
lighter like a moose needs a hat rack.
You fool, that's the
kind I use myself.
It's filled with a lifetime supply of
butane gas, compressed inside.
If he managed to toss
that into the furnace...
- Don't worry, boss. We'll get him.
- Wait a minute.
- Let him go.
- What?
He'll go running to
the cops, Penguin.
How can he, you bird brains?
He's a crook himself, remember?
- He was trying to bug my shop.
- Say, yeah, that's right.
The main thing is he won't come
nosing around here anymore.
Besides, I need the both of
you here, my fine-feathered finks.
The time is almost nigh.
At the signal, the time
will be precisely 5:20.
Forty minutes to go.
At precisely 6:00, the built-in timer
will send the bat-brella into action.
Exactly two minutes to 6.
I'll give Bruce two minutes more
then I'll call the commissioner.
Very wise, Master Robin.
Doubtless, the police will
inaugurate a most effective search.
Hot-diggity, here he comes now.
- What happened, Batman?
- Penguin almost out-foxed me.
Good heavens, sir. You look as if
you've been in some sort of a nasty snare.
Oh, it was nothing, Alfred. You might
go up and tend to my clothes though.
They're in rather rocky shape.
Very good, sir.
Our scheme for bugging
the Penguin's lair won't work.
We'll have to solve the mystery
of the bat-brella ourselves.
Right, let's muster
all of our brain power.
Stroke of 6. Let's see
how my gimmick is working.
Gosh, Batman, this
is sure a tough one.
Jumping jiminy, it's
The Boy Wonder.
It's my most dazzling stroke.
A secret radio transmitter built
into the handle of the bat-brella.
I wonder if these
colors mean anything.
The colors are
certainly striking.
Could it be the Penguin's way of taunting us
with a clue to where he's going to strike.
Hey, you've got something.
This green could stand
for money or emeralds.
Or is it all the colors
taken together?
You mean, like a
collection of gems?
The jeweled meteorite
on display at the museum.
Ah, wow!
Studded with emeralds and diamonds and
rubies, the Penguin's favorite birdseed.
- Could he get at it, though?
- Just a sec.
We'll check the
plans of the museum.
What did I predict? Batman
has picked our crime.
Next, he'll tell
us how to do it.
- You're a real genius.
- Shh!
Gotham City Museum.
Third floor plan.
- Impossible.
- Burglar proof.
Not even the Penguin could get
through those security devices.
Scratch the jeweled
meteorite, back to the bat-brella.
Curses, that sounded
like a sweet caper.
Fear not, dear finks. I
know Batman's fertile mind.
He'll come up with another.
I still think the clue
must be in the colors.
They're so pretty. It's
like a beautiful dawn.
- Beautiful dawn?
- Huh?
Dawn Robbins, the
beautiful movie star.
- She's on location here in Gotham City.
- Holy popcorn.
Could he be planning
to kidnap her?
Dawn Robbins in a picture called The
Mockingbird produced by Ward Eagle...
and she's staying in the
penthouse at the Pelican Arms.
- Birds in every bush.
- A Penguin ploy if I've ever heard one.
It'd cost Eagle countless
thousands a day if she were gone.
Quick, Batman, let's figure out
how the Penguin plans to pull it.
Hawkeye, get out your notebook.
Pelican Arms Hotel,
upper stories, general view.
- Look, it's a perfect setup.
- How, Batman?
The Penguin operates from
this roof across the street.
He shoots the line to
Dawn's penthouse terrace...
then slides down the line
on one of his tricky umbrellas.
Gosh, yes. He's got all that equipment
readymade in his criminal storeroom.
It's a fiendish,
well-laid scheme.
- Only we're onto it.
- Right.
What'll we do? Tip off
Commissioner Gordon?
Not on your life.
The Penguin and I
have a score to settle.
We'll put the salt
on his tail ourselves.
To the Pelican Arms,
my fine-feathered finks.
Where we'll hatch the
Batman a certain surprise.
Charming, Ms.
Robbins. Delightful.
Just the thing for
Funboy Magazine.
Now, if you could just
curl up a trifle more.
- Hmm?
- Oh.
What a drag it is being a
famous movie star and so rich.
Why doesn't anything
exciting ever happen to me?
Well, one never knows what lurks
around life's corner, Ms. Robbins.
Here we are, right under Dawn
Robbins' penthouse terrace.
Gosh, Batman, it's high. Pretty
tough throw of the bat-a-rang, huh?
Good point. Better
use the batzooka.
Aha.
It's just like
Batman's blueprint.
There's Robbins' nest across
the way. Let's get to work.
Ready with the batzooka.
- What was that?
- It sounded like a batzooka.
The Dynamic Duo, they
just fired the famous bat-hook.
Bull's-eye. The hook caught
the railing of the terrace.
Yeah, the game is going exactly
as I planned. Let's get to work.
Thanks, Wilbur. Now get those prints
to Mr. Eagle. He'll be expecting them.
- I'm going out for air. It's stuffy in here.
- Wait, I'll get you a wrap.
If you catch a cold, it'll cost
Mr. Eagle countless thousands.
Oh.
What a boring humdrum life
this is. I'm not even a person.
I'm merely a commodity,
like soap. It's like...
Eek!
Oh, help. There's
guys from outer space.
Don't be alarmed, Ms.
Robbins, we're not lawbreakers.
We're here to
protect you, ma'am.
Great Scott, The Caped
Crusader and The Boy Wonder.
Who?
Oh, being a stranger to Gotham
City, of course, you wouldn't know.
Batman and Robin,
ace crime fighters.
Oh, gee whiz, Batman, you're kind
of cute. Could you use some publicity?
- Oh, I'm sorry, Ms. Robbins, I...
- Forget it.
Batman never lends himself
to commercial enterprises.
- We're here to foil a daring crime.
- A plot to kidnap Dawn Robbins.
- What?
- Me?
- Her?
- No time to explain.
Now just do as I say. Listen.
Aha.
- All set, you birds?
- All set, Penguin.
All right, let's show that my penguin
line is the match for that bat rope.
Catapult, shoot.
Perfect. Let's go.
Who says penguins can't fly?
Perfect, yes.
Plug in the Penguin magnet
and wait till I give you the signal.
Waugh, waugh.
- Surrender, you foul bird.
- It's back to the pen for you, Penguin.
Well, well, so this is the end of
my fiendish, well-laid plan, is it?
Oh, holy lodestone,
what's happening?
- We're in the grip of...
- My Penguin magnet.
It's irresistibly drawing the
metal objects in your utility belts.
Oh, he's right, Batman. It's
stronger than we are. Unh!
Well, look at you,
The Dynamic Duo...
their faces completely covered
with penguin egg. Ha, ha.
Start the winch.
- What do we do now, Batman?
- If we could just get our utility belts off.
Holy flypaper, what a fix.
Victory for the tricky birds?
The Dynamic Duo's darkest hour.
Dawn, gone.
One dawn gone but
then another comes.
I see. So this was the clue which allows
you to anticipate the Penguin's crime, huh?
- And a fat lot of good it did.
- Oh, enough, Mr. Jay.
Who could possibly have foreseen
the Penguin's gigantic magnet?
- Oh, he's right, commissioner, we failed.
- And how?
If that room service waiter hadn't
come in, we might still be stuck there.
I say pay the ransom.
I say nothing matters but Dawn's
safety and Mr. Eagle's shooting schedule.
I agree with Mr. Jay.
With the first part anyway.
Do you have the money?
Right here in this
suitcase, Batman.
Two hundred thousand dollars in
unmarked bills of small denomination.
Chief O'Hara, give
us a summary...
of the Penguin's ransom
instructions once again.
Well, it's a trade, sir. See,
the dough for Ms. Robbins.
He'll pick up the suitcase and leave
the girl in its place, unharmed, says he...
- but for the effect of a mild anesthetic.
- Mm-hm.
- When and where?
- A neutral spot.
He suggests the front
hall of Wayne Manor.
As the commissioner knows, that's the
beautiful home of Bruce Wayne, the millionaire.
I know. Mr. Wayne and I are
close friends. I've dined there.
The time is to be
10 this morning.
If we agree, we're to
fly a red gas balloon...
from the statue of George
Washington in Gotham Square.
- What do you think, Batman?
- We have no choice. I buy it.
- Yes, yes, gladly.
- Then, chief...
you arrange for the balloon
and I'll call Bruce Wayne.
Begging your pardon, sir, but I've taken
the liberty of doing that myself already.
- What did Mr. Wayne say?
- It was the butler I spoke with.
- Mr. Wayne and his ward are away fishing.
- Good.
Let's deliver the ransom
money ourselves, Batman.
Right, Robin. We'll
do even better.
I seem to remember a picture in the Gotham
City Times, some, uh, society affair.
Inside the front hall of Wayne Manor,
aren't there two suits of ancient armor?
- Yes, of course.
- I get it.
We'll hide inside the armor.
Soon as the girl is safe, we pounce.
Right again, Robin.
The last trick of this
tricky hand is ours.
Will the Penguin and his
finks have the last laugh?
Yes, sir, what can I do...?
Sleep tight, my little ones.
By the time you
awake in 18 hours...
I'll be safe in my
hideaway in Alaska.
Who's there at the door,
Alfred? If it's the cleaning man...
Oh! Alfred.
Oh!
Close the door.
We'll divide the loot and
we'll fly our separate ways.
Wrong, Penguin.
- You'll all fly together.
- Up the river, you birds of a filthy feather.
You betrayed yourself
at the penthouse.
You used the very same words
I had spoken in the bat cave.
We found out about your
secret radio transmitter.
- We acted out a charade to trap you.
- But the gas. I put you to sleep in the armor.
- I saw it.
- A trap.
- Dummies in that armor.
- We were here all the time.
All right, boys, our umbrellas.
- Saints alive.
- No, Chief O'Hara, not saints alive.
Four birds bagged.
Tell Warden Crichton
they keep better on ice.
Oh, come on, Aunt Harriet, just
one more hors d'oeuvre, huh?
After all that shrimp salad?
No, indeed, Dick Grayson.
I'm not going to see
you have nightmares.
It's bad enough that our peaceful home
was involved in a wicked crime last week.
My, oh, my, if you
had seen what I saw.
You see, Dick and I were off fishing.
You really know as much about it as I do.
You've read it in the papers.
Perhaps you'd like to wander over
there and ask Commissioner Gordon.
The origin of the bat costume,
ladies and gentlemen, is simple.
As Batman realized when
he set out in his crusade...
nothing so strikes terror
into the criminal mind...
as the shape and
shadow of a huge bat.
Oh, Ms. Robbins, Mr. Jay, I'm
so delighted you could come.
Our host, Ms. Robbins,
Mr. Bruce Wayne...
..head of the famous,
philanthropic Wayne Foundation.
You don't say.
Gosh, what's the matter
with that gorgeous girl?
Her manner did
seem a trifle odd.
The lingering effects of
that criminal's gas perhaps?
No, Mr. Wayne, it's more tragic
than that. Much more tragic.
She only glimpsed him for a moment
and she's hopelessly in love with him...
..her unknown savior, Batman.