Batman (1966–1968): Season 1, Episode 23 - The Ring of Wax - full transcript
The Riddler's latest scheme involves stealing a wax figure to melt down for its wax that is powerfully corrosive when exposed to direct flame.
Another exciting
event in Gotham City.
An unveiling at Madame
Soleil's Wax Museum.
A tribute to the city's most
illustrious crime fighter.
Thank you, Monsieur Mayor.
Monsieur the
governor, the mayor...
and most honored
dignitaries of Gotham City.
I know you are anxious to see
what I, the famous Madame Soleil...
have imported for you all
the way from Paris, France.
Mes amis, I unveil this
wax figure of Batman.
What is this ghastly travesty?
Why, that's not Batman.
That's the Riddler.
Surprise, surprise. Ha-ha-ha!
What is black and
white and red all over?
Illustrious friends, if that
little riddle is too hard for you...
why, here's another.
What has branches
and leaves and no bark?
What did you say, Madame Soleil?
The figure of Batman stolen?
It's the work of the Riddler.
Don't touch a thing.
We'll take care of it.
Well, you heard, chief.
The Riddler's at it again.
Only two weeks out of jail
and he's up to his old tricks.
I knew it was too good to last.
There's only one thing to do.
We may never know the identity
of the man behind the mask...
but he is the only one who
can cope with the Riddler.
And in Wayne Manor, stately
residence of millionaire Bruce Wayne...
and his youthful
ward Dick Grayson.
He's just come in,
sir. I'll get him for you.
I thought Lima was
the capital of Ecuador.
Now, as you can see, I was
right. It's the capital of Peru.
Oh, I just love this game of
capitals. It's so educational.
Not only that. If we don't know
all about our friends to the south...
how can we carry on
our good-neighbor policy?
- Ahem.
- Yes, Alfred.
It's the Batphone, sir.
Oh, Aunt Harriet,
I forgot to tell you.
Dick and I are having dinner
with an old college chum of mine.
He's promised to show Dick how
to tie flies. He's an expert fisherman.
Let's hurry, Dick, or
we're gonna be late.
Oh, those two.
Hither, thither and yon.
- Yes, commissioner.
- The Riddler, he struck again.
We're on our way.
To the Bat-poles.
What is black and
white and red all over?
He must be kidding.
That's too easy.
We figured that one out ourselves,
Boy Wonder. It's a newspaper.
You know only too well how the Riddler likes
to taunt us with these disguised clues...
clues that always reveal
whatever plot he's hatching.
This pause here is where
the tricky paint gun went off.
- Illustrious friends...
- Shh.
- Here comes the second riddle.
- Ha-ha-ha!
If that little riddle is too hard
for you, why, here's another.
What has branches and
leaves and no bark? Hmm?
That's it all there is.
There's always some
definite connection...
between the answers to his
riddles and his nefarious plans.
What has leaves and
branches but no bark?
Hey, a book has leaves.
- But a book has no branches.
- Yes, but a library does.
Then the answer to the first riddle
could've been "book" instead of "newspaper."
You've done it again, chum.
The answer is library,
but what library?
If I know the Riddler, it'll be the
biggest library, the Gotham City Library.
But what would he
want at the public library?
We'll never find out
standing here. Let's go, Robin.
Meanwhile, in a secret hideaway beneath
this innocent-looking candle factory.
Oh, if only this were
the real Batman. Oh!
'Tis a consummation
devoutly to be wished.
That his too, too solid flesh...
would melt, thaw and
resolve itself into a dew.
Oh, Riddler, honey,
that's beautiful.
I wrote it myself.
Little do they suspect the real reason
why I stole the wax figure of Batman.
I knew. I knew those dull customs
inspectors would never think of looking...
for this revolutionary new
ring of wax universal solvent...
in the mannequin of
their precious champion.
Big deal. Wax is wax. What's
so special about this stuff?
Oh, you don't know, my pretty little
Moth, what a universal solvent is.
It can eat through anything.
This remarkable wax can be found only in
the hives of the Cognac district of France.
No wonder the United States
government has banned its importation.
It might fall into
the wrong hands.
Why, with this illegally
imported substance...
there is no vault
I cannot enter.
Aah!
Hear me, world!
Nothing can stop
me now! Ha-ha-ha!
- Ain't he ever gonna move?
- Yeah, we gotta get in the vault.
Remember, it is better
to light one little candle...
than to curse the darkness.
Quickly, Moth, Batman's
had time to solve my clue.
- Go downstairs and keep a sharp lookout.
- Okay.
Won't be long now.
That rare old book, The
Lost Treasures of the Incas...
will soon be in my hands.
Ain't somebody bound to hear
us when we break into the vault?
Don't talk stupid.
Why do you think I
went to so much trouble...
to smuggle in this
universal wax solvent?
Genius.
So far so good.
Ahh. Go on. Ha-ha-ha.
Now, remember, no
writing in the margins.
Heavens to Betsy.
It can't be, but it is.
The dynamic duo.
Can I be of any
help to you at all?
Have you seen any
Unusual-looking people around here?
Unusual? In what way unusual?
Their garb. For instance, a man wearing a bright
green suit with big black question marks on it.
Let me think a moment.
No, I can't say
that I have, offhand.
But then I see so many
people in the course of the day.
We have reason to believe that a
serious crime will be committed here.
- We sure have.
- Oh, dear.
Where is the vault in which you
store your most precious books?
It's upstairs. Follow me.
Boss, this is Moth.
They're on their way up.
I'll be ready for them.
Hey, here it is, boss.
Oh?
Oh, heh.
At last I found it.
This will lead me right to
the lost treasure of the Incas.
Every greedy bone
in my body cries out...
huzzah, huzzah!
My stars. Look at that
hole and the lock's gone.
Careful, Robin, this looks like a
robbery. Wait there, Ms. Prentice.
As you can see, Batman...
by the deadly weapons we
hold, you'd be fools to move.
- What are you doing here?
- Checking out a book.
- "Checking out a book"?
- Exactly, Boy Wonder.
Lost Treasure of the Incas.
What would he want
with a book like that?
Who can explain the devious
mind of an arch criminal?
- You'll never get away with this, Riddler.
- Would you like to make a little wager?
I never gamble.
Holy mucilage.
I can't move my feet.
I'm stuck to the floor.
Yes, it's my own concoction.
I call it "Dr. Riddler's Instant
Forever Stick Invisible Wax Emulsion."
Boss, you hit the alarm.
An unfortunate error on my
part, but lucky for you, Batman.
Let's get out of here, boss.
Since you'll be sticking around for a little
while, I'll leave you a riddle to work on.
The more you take
away, the larger it grows.
What is it? Ha-ha-ha!
They've gone.
We must get out of
this. I'll try the laser gun.
What devilish sticky stuff.
If only the Riddler's inventive
mind could be channeled for good...
what a better
world this would be.
It's working, Robin. The
wax is beginning to melt.
Are you all right in there?
Yes. It's safe to come
in now, Ms. Prentice.
- Oh, saints above, how did that hole get there?
- That's it.
- What is it?
- The answer to that riddle. Don't you see?
The more you take away
from a hole, the larger it grows.
- You're right. What can that mean? Unless...
- Yes?
There's a strange,
waxy substance here.
Could this be his clue?
But how is this done?
I heard no explosion.
We must take this back to the
Batcave at once and analyze it.
Unless I miss my guess, I'm
holding the answer in my hand.
We've no time to waste.
Let's get this sample of wax to
the hyper-spectrographic analyzer.
This should tell us what
makes up this waxy substance.
Aha!
It's just as I thought. Nitrogen is
one of the component elements.
That orange color,
doesn't that mean uranium?
- Right on the nose. You're catching on fast.
- No kidding? Gee.
- But what about that blue line?
- That one's easy. It's sodium.
Of course, this is a
universal wax solvent.
So that's how they
got into that vault.
If the Riddler left this as a
clue, I don't get it. Do you?
Well, there's something
here that escapes me.
Nitrogen, Uranium, Sodium,
what could it possibly mean?
If you take the first three letters
of those elements it spells N-U-S...
- but that doesn't mean anything.
- Reverse the order and what do you have?
- S-U-N.
- Of course, that's got to be it.
But what's it supposed to mean?
I'm surprised at you. You're
supposed to be studying French.
- What's the French word for Sun?
- Soleil.
Correct.
The Riddler has left us a clear indication
of where he intends to strike next.
Back at Madame
Soleil's Wax Museum.
What are we waiting for?
Madame Soleil? Madame Soleil?
It's Batman and Robin.
Are you here?
Such vandalism.
What a disastrous unveiling
this must have been.
Boy, wax museums
are sure spooky.
You think the Riddler
is here somewhere?
For heaven's sake, caped
crusaders, watch out.
Good shot, boss.
Music hath the charm to
sooth the savage beast.
You sure soothed them boss.
You soothed them right
to sleep with that thing.
- They look dead to me.
- Just drugged, my pet.
Why kill them fast...
when watching them die slowly
is so much more entertaining.
Ah.
Beauty, after all is in
the eye of the beholder.
Ah.
Well, what do you know?
A dividend I hadn't considered.
What a haul this
day has yielded.
First, the rare old book on
the lost treasure of the Incas...
then the invincible
Batman and Robin...
and now...
the famous Batmobile
for my very own.
Remember, this thing's
loaded with burglar alarms.
Don't you think I know that?
Ha-ha-ha. A little snip here.
A little snip there.
Now, it's safe to drive.
You're gonna
drive the Batmobile?
"Finders keepers, losers
weepers," I always say.
What do we do now?
You take Batman and Robin out to
the candle factory and I'll meet you there.
We'd better get our
everyday clothes back on.
We look too suspicious this way.
Just as soon as we get these
two prize packages inside.
Hey, look. Look, he's coming to.
Aw, he looks so handsome
beneath that mask.
A diamondback rattlesnake
is a handsome creature too...
but dangerous and deadly.
Remember, Moth,
Batman is our sworn enemy.
We can ill afford
such emotions as pity.
Where am I?
Ah, you could say you're in
the proverbial pickle, Batman.
Take them in.
Robin, do you hear me?
Batman, what happened to us?
It seems you have
been overpowered again.
But how?
The last thing I remember,
we were in the wax museum.
We just passed the
Revolutionary War scene.
You're getting warm.
So that's how it was done.
- How what was done?
- Oh, it's so clear now.
We were victimized
by a repeating blowgun.
Holy iodine. So that's why
the back of my neck smarts.
The wax is hot enough now, boss.
If they want a lifelike figure of their
precious Batman for the wax museum...
we'll give it to them.
We'll even throw in a dividend.
Robin.
You fiend!
Sticks and stones may break my
bones, but names will never hurt me.
Matches, start
the motor, slowly.
Very slowly.
Oh, I want to savor...
each sweet, delicious
moment of this.
Gotcha, boss.
Riddler, tell me why you removed
my wax figure from Madame Soleil's?
How else could I smuggle in that
revolutionary new ring of wax solvent?
But why go to all that trouble?
Wouldn't TNT have been much simpler?
Have you ever been in a
quiet library when TNT went off?
It makes a frightening noise.
Why did you steal that rare old
book on the lost treasure of the Incas?
What possible meaning could a
scholarly book like that have for you?
For two people about to
become human candles...
you have a lot of questions.
I'm always interested in the
way the criminal mind works.
Well, then, I'll tell you.
Within that rare old book, I
found an ancient Incan riddle...
which will lead me right to the
fabled lost treasure of the Incas.
You must be mad.
The lost treasures of
the Incas is only a legend.
Ah, but that's where
you're mistaken, Batman.
The treasure is
real, very real...
but unfortunately, you
won't be around to see it.
event in Gotham City.
An unveiling at Madame
Soleil's Wax Museum.
A tribute to the city's most
illustrious crime fighter.
Thank you, Monsieur Mayor.
Monsieur the
governor, the mayor...
and most honored
dignitaries of Gotham City.
I know you are anxious to see
what I, the famous Madame Soleil...
have imported for you all
the way from Paris, France.
Mes amis, I unveil this
wax figure of Batman.
What is this ghastly travesty?
Why, that's not Batman.
That's the Riddler.
Surprise, surprise. Ha-ha-ha!
What is black and
white and red all over?
Illustrious friends, if that
little riddle is too hard for you...
why, here's another.
What has branches
and leaves and no bark?
What did you say, Madame Soleil?
The figure of Batman stolen?
It's the work of the Riddler.
Don't touch a thing.
We'll take care of it.
Well, you heard, chief.
The Riddler's at it again.
Only two weeks out of jail
and he's up to his old tricks.
I knew it was too good to last.
There's only one thing to do.
We may never know the identity
of the man behind the mask...
but he is the only one who
can cope with the Riddler.
And in Wayne Manor, stately
residence of millionaire Bruce Wayne...
and his youthful
ward Dick Grayson.
He's just come in,
sir. I'll get him for you.
I thought Lima was
the capital of Ecuador.
Now, as you can see, I was
right. It's the capital of Peru.
Oh, I just love this game of
capitals. It's so educational.
Not only that. If we don't know
all about our friends to the south...
how can we carry on
our good-neighbor policy?
- Ahem.
- Yes, Alfred.
It's the Batphone, sir.
Oh, Aunt Harriet,
I forgot to tell you.
Dick and I are having dinner
with an old college chum of mine.
He's promised to show Dick how
to tie flies. He's an expert fisherman.
Let's hurry, Dick, or
we're gonna be late.
Oh, those two.
Hither, thither and yon.
- Yes, commissioner.
- The Riddler, he struck again.
We're on our way.
To the Bat-poles.
What is black and
white and red all over?
He must be kidding.
That's too easy.
We figured that one out ourselves,
Boy Wonder. It's a newspaper.
You know only too well how the Riddler likes
to taunt us with these disguised clues...
clues that always reveal
whatever plot he's hatching.
This pause here is where
the tricky paint gun went off.
- Illustrious friends...
- Shh.
- Here comes the second riddle.
- Ha-ha-ha!
If that little riddle is too hard
for you, why, here's another.
What has branches and
leaves and no bark? Hmm?
That's it all there is.
There's always some
definite connection...
between the answers to his
riddles and his nefarious plans.
What has leaves and
branches but no bark?
Hey, a book has leaves.
- But a book has no branches.
- Yes, but a library does.
Then the answer to the first riddle
could've been "book" instead of "newspaper."
You've done it again, chum.
The answer is library,
but what library?
If I know the Riddler, it'll be the
biggest library, the Gotham City Library.
But what would he
want at the public library?
We'll never find out
standing here. Let's go, Robin.
Meanwhile, in a secret hideaway beneath
this innocent-looking candle factory.
Oh, if only this were
the real Batman. Oh!
'Tis a consummation
devoutly to be wished.
That his too, too solid flesh...
would melt, thaw and
resolve itself into a dew.
Oh, Riddler, honey,
that's beautiful.
I wrote it myself.
Little do they suspect the real reason
why I stole the wax figure of Batman.
I knew. I knew those dull customs
inspectors would never think of looking...
for this revolutionary new
ring of wax universal solvent...
in the mannequin of
their precious champion.
Big deal. Wax is wax. What's
so special about this stuff?
Oh, you don't know, my pretty little
Moth, what a universal solvent is.
It can eat through anything.
This remarkable wax can be found only in
the hives of the Cognac district of France.
No wonder the United States
government has banned its importation.
It might fall into
the wrong hands.
Why, with this illegally
imported substance...
there is no vault
I cannot enter.
Aah!
Hear me, world!
Nothing can stop
me now! Ha-ha-ha!
- Ain't he ever gonna move?
- Yeah, we gotta get in the vault.
Remember, it is better
to light one little candle...
than to curse the darkness.
Quickly, Moth, Batman's
had time to solve my clue.
- Go downstairs and keep a sharp lookout.
- Okay.
Won't be long now.
That rare old book, The
Lost Treasures of the Incas...
will soon be in my hands.
Ain't somebody bound to hear
us when we break into the vault?
Don't talk stupid.
Why do you think I
went to so much trouble...
to smuggle in this
universal wax solvent?
Genius.
So far so good.
Ahh. Go on. Ha-ha-ha.
Now, remember, no
writing in the margins.
Heavens to Betsy.
It can't be, but it is.
The dynamic duo.
Can I be of any
help to you at all?
Have you seen any
Unusual-looking people around here?
Unusual? In what way unusual?
Their garb. For instance, a man wearing a bright
green suit with big black question marks on it.
Let me think a moment.
No, I can't say
that I have, offhand.
But then I see so many
people in the course of the day.
We have reason to believe that a
serious crime will be committed here.
- We sure have.
- Oh, dear.
Where is the vault in which you
store your most precious books?
It's upstairs. Follow me.
Boss, this is Moth.
They're on their way up.
I'll be ready for them.
Hey, here it is, boss.
Oh?
Oh, heh.
At last I found it.
This will lead me right to
the lost treasure of the Incas.
Every greedy bone
in my body cries out...
huzzah, huzzah!
My stars. Look at that
hole and the lock's gone.
Careful, Robin, this looks like a
robbery. Wait there, Ms. Prentice.
As you can see, Batman...
by the deadly weapons we
hold, you'd be fools to move.
- What are you doing here?
- Checking out a book.
- "Checking out a book"?
- Exactly, Boy Wonder.
Lost Treasure of the Incas.
What would he want
with a book like that?
Who can explain the devious
mind of an arch criminal?
- You'll never get away with this, Riddler.
- Would you like to make a little wager?
I never gamble.
Holy mucilage.
I can't move my feet.
I'm stuck to the floor.
Yes, it's my own concoction.
I call it "Dr. Riddler's Instant
Forever Stick Invisible Wax Emulsion."
Boss, you hit the alarm.
An unfortunate error on my
part, but lucky for you, Batman.
Let's get out of here, boss.
Since you'll be sticking around for a little
while, I'll leave you a riddle to work on.
The more you take
away, the larger it grows.
What is it? Ha-ha-ha!
They've gone.
We must get out of
this. I'll try the laser gun.
What devilish sticky stuff.
If only the Riddler's inventive
mind could be channeled for good...
what a better
world this would be.
It's working, Robin. The
wax is beginning to melt.
Are you all right in there?
Yes. It's safe to come
in now, Ms. Prentice.
- Oh, saints above, how did that hole get there?
- That's it.
- What is it?
- The answer to that riddle. Don't you see?
The more you take away
from a hole, the larger it grows.
- You're right. What can that mean? Unless...
- Yes?
There's a strange,
waxy substance here.
Could this be his clue?
But how is this done?
I heard no explosion.
We must take this back to the
Batcave at once and analyze it.
Unless I miss my guess, I'm
holding the answer in my hand.
We've no time to waste.
Let's get this sample of wax to
the hyper-spectrographic analyzer.
This should tell us what
makes up this waxy substance.
Aha!
It's just as I thought. Nitrogen is
one of the component elements.
That orange color,
doesn't that mean uranium?
- Right on the nose. You're catching on fast.
- No kidding? Gee.
- But what about that blue line?
- That one's easy. It's sodium.
Of course, this is a
universal wax solvent.
So that's how they
got into that vault.
If the Riddler left this as a
clue, I don't get it. Do you?
Well, there's something
here that escapes me.
Nitrogen, Uranium, Sodium,
what could it possibly mean?
If you take the first three letters
of those elements it spells N-U-S...
- but that doesn't mean anything.
- Reverse the order and what do you have?
- S-U-N.
- Of course, that's got to be it.
But what's it supposed to mean?
I'm surprised at you. You're
supposed to be studying French.
- What's the French word for Sun?
- Soleil.
Correct.
The Riddler has left us a clear indication
of where he intends to strike next.
Back at Madame
Soleil's Wax Museum.
What are we waiting for?
Madame Soleil? Madame Soleil?
It's Batman and Robin.
Are you here?
Such vandalism.
What a disastrous unveiling
this must have been.
Boy, wax museums
are sure spooky.
You think the Riddler
is here somewhere?
For heaven's sake, caped
crusaders, watch out.
Good shot, boss.
Music hath the charm to
sooth the savage beast.
You sure soothed them boss.
You soothed them right
to sleep with that thing.
- They look dead to me.
- Just drugged, my pet.
Why kill them fast...
when watching them die slowly
is so much more entertaining.
Ah.
Beauty, after all is in
the eye of the beholder.
Ah.
Well, what do you know?
A dividend I hadn't considered.
What a haul this
day has yielded.
First, the rare old book on
the lost treasure of the Incas...
then the invincible
Batman and Robin...
and now...
the famous Batmobile
for my very own.
Remember, this thing's
loaded with burglar alarms.
Don't you think I know that?
Ha-ha-ha. A little snip here.
A little snip there.
Now, it's safe to drive.
You're gonna
drive the Batmobile?
"Finders keepers, losers
weepers," I always say.
What do we do now?
You take Batman and Robin out to
the candle factory and I'll meet you there.
We'd better get our
everyday clothes back on.
We look too suspicious this way.
Just as soon as we get these
two prize packages inside.
Hey, look. Look, he's coming to.
Aw, he looks so handsome
beneath that mask.
A diamondback rattlesnake
is a handsome creature too...
but dangerous and deadly.
Remember, Moth,
Batman is our sworn enemy.
We can ill afford
such emotions as pity.
Where am I?
Ah, you could say you're in
the proverbial pickle, Batman.
Take them in.
Robin, do you hear me?
Batman, what happened to us?
It seems you have
been overpowered again.
But how?
The last thing I remember,
we were in the wax museum.
We just passed the
Revolutionary War scene.
You're getting warm.
So that's how it was done.
- How what was done?
- Oh, it's so clear now.
We were victimized
by a repeating blowgun.
Holy iodine. So that's why
the back of my neck smarts.
The wax is hot enough now, boss.
If they want a lifelike figure of their
precious Batman for the wax museum...
we'll give it to them.
We'll even throw in a dividend.
Robin.
You fiend!
Sticks and stones may break my
bones, but names will never hurt me.
Matches, start
the motor, slowly.
Very slowly.
Oh, I want to savor...
each sweet, delicious
moment of this.
Gotcha, boss.
Riddler, tell me why you removed
my wax figure from Madame Soleil's?
How else could I smuggle in that
revolutionary new ring of wax solvent?
But why go to all that trouble?
Wouldn't TNT have been much simpler?
Have you ever been in a
quiet library when TNT went off?
It makes a frightening noise.
Why did you steal that rare old
book on the lost treasure of the Incas?
What possible meaning could a
scholarly book like that have for you?
For two people about to
become human candles...
you have a lot of questions.
I'm always interested in the
way the criminal mind works.
Well, then, I'll tell you.
Within that rare old book, I
found an ancient Incan riddle...
which will lead me right to the
fabled lost treasure of the Incas.
You must be mad.
The lost treasures of
the Incas is only a legend.
Ah, but that's where
you're mistaken, Batman.
The treasure is
real, very real...
but unfortunately, you
won't be around to see it.