Batman (1966–1968): Season 1, Episode 20 - Better Luck Next Time - full transcript

So far, we have seen:

A cat burglar strike.

Commissioner Gordon got a gift.

X marked the cat.

Catwoman bare her claws.

Batman and Robin on guard.

Robin get it in the neck.

Saved by Batman.

Open sesame.

Is this trip necessary?

Sharp tactics.



Two mice in a cat trap.

Robin cat-apulted.

The lady or the tiger?

Cat-astrophe.

And now, after a moment's
cat's pause, we'll continue.

You can't stay there
forever, Batman.

Your hands will
lose their strength.

Not while I have a breath left.

It's been a long time
between bites for Tinker Bell.

You should take better
care of him, Catwoman.

After all, pets are
a responsibility.

Batman, it's been fun.

But all good things must come to an end and
the goodest ending I can think of is yours.

It's not ended yet.



It will soon.

It's a pity I can't
stay and watch.

But you know how I
hate the sight of blood.

TTFN.

And what's that
supposed to mean?

Ta-ta for now.

I'm off to pluck
Robin's feathers.

Calling on his fantastic storehouse
of audio engineering knowledge...

Batman nimbly reverses the
polarity on his communicator...

then increases the audio
modulation to about 20,000 decibels...

knowing full well it
will split the tiger's skull.

Don't bother, Robin. You wouldn't know how
to get out of here even if you did get loose.

Just you wait, Catwoman.

Batman will be here in a
minute and you'll be sorry.

He'll have to come a long way.

We know what you're up to.

Is that so? Tell me more.

You wanna steal Mark Andrews
collection. Well, it just won't work.

- The place is surrounded by police.
- Thanks for that information.

But that doesn't
change my plans one bit.

You're racing up
the wrong alley.

Felix, Leo, take Robin
down and clip his wings.

What now, Cowled
Crusader? Is it a cul-de-sac?

- Did you weigh him?
- Hundred and thirty-two pounds, 10 ounces.

- Is that sand ready?
- All ready, Catwoman.

Good. I'll baste him.

Perfect. To the pit with him.

The sand.

Hundred and thirty-two
pounds, 10 ounces exactly.

Catwoman, you are
not a nice person.

You must be curious, Boy Wonder,
why the strange feeding method.

I'm always interested in the
workings of the criminal mind.

My pets are orderly beasts
and must be fed on time.

So when enough sand runs out...

dinner is served.

Precious moments lost.

There's only one
possible way out.

Well...

I have personal
engagements elsewhere.

My untrustworthy aides
will take care of the details.

Felix, Leo, I'll
meet you two later.

Right, Catwoman.

Farewell, my lovely.

Give my best to Batman when you see him
at that great scratching post in the sky.

Have the sands of time
run out for the Boy Wonder?

We'll tie them up, Robin...

then we'll call headquarters and
have O'Hara's men come pick them up.

Batman, he's trying to escape.

Maybe we can still catch him.

Better still, let's
investigate this lair.

Perhaps we'll find Catwoman.

Yeah. Okay, Charlie. Okay.

Yes?

Oh, Boy Wonder.

I've just returned from a late
session at the mayor's office.

He wants action, fast.

- Is there anything I can tell him?
- Yes, commissioner.

We've captured one
of the Catwoman's mob.

Chief O'Hara can pick him up at
the Gato and Chat Warehouse...

at 2809 West 20th Street.

Wonderful. But tell me, is
there any word on Catwoman?

She and her right-hand man,
Leo, made a clean getaway.

- But we found the cats in her office.
- That should take some of the pressure off.

Does Batman have any inkling
of Catwoman's whereabouts?

No, sir. Any word from the
stakeout at the Andrews house?

I'm in constant contact with them, Boy
Wonder, but there's no sign of Catwoman.

Nothing at the Andrews house.

Well, then the next move is up to us.
Tell the Commissioner we'll be in touch.

Commissioner, we'll be in touch.

Over and out. And good luck.

To all of us.

I don't understand why Catwoman
would leave these behind...

especially after going to such
great lengths to steal them.

Perhaps she had
another use for them.

We'll find out when
we examine them.

Besides, she really
didn't leave them behind.

She probably expected to return.

They've got to be the answer.

But we've tried everything.

The metal analyzer,
the spectroscope.

Both negative, no
hidden compartments.

I just don't understand it.

Look at the back of this
cat. What do you see?

Well, just some
funny markings. Why?

Look at the other one.

Well, some different markings.

These cats are
supposed to be identical.

Wait a moment.

Something just occurred to me.

There's an obscure legend...

that these cats once belonged to
the notorious pirate Captain Manx.

Isn't he the pirate who willed his treasure to
the underprivileged children of Gotham City...

as a repayment for all the havoc he wreaked
on the city's ships when it was first founded?

Mm. The unique thing about the legend is
that they never recovered one gold doubloon.

Holy felony. Do you think
Catwoman stumbled onto this?

We'll know as soon as I
find the information here...

in the second volume of
The History of Gotham City.

What happened?

Where's Felix?

- It's a long story.
- Well, I don't have time for long stories.

Where are the cats?

- You did save the cats, didn't you?
- Batman got them.

Batman got them?

Well, that does it.

That's another fine
mess you got us into, Leo.

All right.

Let's set up the
Batman reception.

Now that Batman's got the cats,
he's bound to figure out their secret.

Put alternate
Plan B into effect.

Great Scott. I found it.

And it's just as I remembered
it. Look here, Robin.

This is the shape of
Gotham City in those days.

Since then, a lot more land has been added,
but does this pattern look familiar to you?

Holy geography. Of course.

That's the same markings we found
when you put the two cats together.

Holy geography indeed, Robin.

Without each other, these
two cats are useless...

but when put together,
they form a map...

that will lead us right to the hidden
treasure chest of Pirate Captain Manx himself.

- Gosh, Batman.
- Now the question is, where is Catwoman?

Hmm. Well, if Catwoman still
had these cats in her possession...

we'd have no
trouble finding her.

That radioactive spray
we used still shows up.

Yes, you're absolutely correct.

Don't hold that cat
so close to your face.

Some of the radioactive
spray may rub off on you.

Right. I should've
thought of that myself.

- Batman?
- Yes, Robin?

If someone were to hold these
cats close enough and long enough...

do you suppose the radioactivity
might show up on the person?

Yes, quite possibly.

Well, Catwoman was
holding the cats, and...

And we switch on the Batometer.

Batman, the Batometer
is going crazy.

Of course. The cats are
disturbing the calibrations.

Better put them in the
lead-shielded compartment.

There. There, Batman.

There's the blip. She's
out at McGilroy Point.

There's only one road
leading into that area.

If the Catwoman knows we're
coming, she'll be ready for us.

Better use the Bat
Armor. Let's go.

- Did you get the road mined?
- Yes, ma'am.

Good. I've got the
spot in the cave marked.

Get the tools.

At last, the plunder
of a dozen galleons.

Diamonds, rubies, emeralds.

Never again to face deprivation.

From now on,
pussy willows galore.

- I'm rich.
- We are rich, Catwoman.

Ah. And they thought we were
after the Mark Andrews collection.

They thought they were dealing
with an ordinary cat burglar.

Here, fill this up. That
chest is too clumsy.

And now there are just
two of us left to share it.

Yeah.

Just two of us.

Just as I thought. She's
mined the road with explosives.

No wonder you had me put on that Bat Armor.
Gosh, you really think of everything, Batman.

What's that?

Although the Bat Armor protected
our car, those landmines blew our tires.

Robin, turn on the
automatic tire-repair device.

- She's within 100 feet of here.
- Yeah, but where?

Look at those footprints.

Only one man has feet that big.

There must be an opening
somewhere near here.

Boy, I wonder what
my end's gonna be.

This.

There's never enough for two.

Stay right where
you are, Catwoman.

Don't. Don't do it, Catwoman.

You'll never make that jump
with what you're carrying.

Just watch me, Batman.

Batman, help me.

Hang on, Catwoman.

When I throw the Batrope,
reach out and catch it.

I'm afraid.

Let go of the bag, Catwoman, then you'll be
able to catch the rope with your free hand.

I can't let go of it.

Drop it, Catwoman.

Otherwise, you'll fall
into that bottomless pit.

Nothing is worth that.

I can't let go.

I can't.

Catwoman.

Can you hear me?

Catwoman!

It's no use, Robin.

She probably went
straight to the bottom.

Why didn't she
let go of the bag?

- Didn't she know what would happen?
- Greed is an overpowering emotion, Robin.

It sometimes dims all the senses,
even that of self-preservation.

I suppose in the end, that's
what trips up all criminals.

Do you think she
might still be alive?

A cat is supposed
to have nine lives.

It's hard to say.

Bishop to Queen 6, third level.

This will take a minute, Bruce. I
didn't figure on that move at all.

Begging your
pardon, Master Dick...

but a knight-takes-bishop's
play might seem in order here.

Thank you, Alfred.

Well, in that case,
queen takes knight...

- and checkmate.
- I said shoo, you devil.

Oh, honestly.

- My goodness.
- What's wrong, Aunt Harriet?

It's this infernal cat.

The little heathen stole the lobster
I was preparing for your dinner.

This cat is a thief.

Well, we're doing our
best to rehabilitate it.

Well, it steals everything
it can lay its paws on.

You have to understand, Aunt Harriet,
the cat comes from a broken home.

Oh.

- Master Dick.
- Heh.