Barry (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - 710N - full transcript

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Right there! Right up there.

That's where your brother
wanted to put a hot tub.

I mean, it was his dream.

And he gave Berkman 1,700?

Yeah! I mean, it sounded like
a game-changer to me,

but you know Berkman,
he was against it.

What kind of dick...

says no to a hot tub
right there?

I don't know!
What kind of... what...

Fuckin' crazy! Right?

I mean,
it's absolutely nuts, am I...

Am I right? Anyway, y-you...

you got his address.
You call me when it's done.

I'm gonna be checking out
a friend of mine in LA...

Let's go.

One of the bodies
we pulled out of

the Northridge house explosion

was Fernando Sagredo,

the head of the Bolivians.

So, we must have
gotten to the nursery

in the middle of
them getting payback.

Right, so that means

it was NoHo Hank
who planted that bomb.

NoHo is soft.

I mean, look at
the way he dresses.

He is not the
bomb-planting type.

- was the Raven.
- Okay, look.

You think
Rumpelstiltskin over here

could take out a whole monastery
of goons all by himself?

No, I ain't buying it.
I ain't buying it, no.

No, no, no, no.
Our guy is highly trained.

He's probably, like,
ex-military or s...

Well, how do we know
Rumper-stiltskin over here

isn't some kind of badass?
I mean... I mean...

Look at his jacket, right?
It-it's leather, and it's cool.

Have you heard from Berkman?

- Barry?
- Yeah.

Uh, we haven't seen him

since he did that
charity drive for Chris.

He said he was taking
acting classes.

- No, no, no.
- Yes!

Barry Berkman,

the human ice machine,
is taking acting classes?

He seems to like it!


Is he still out here in LA?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he is.

We should all get together.


Yeah, no, I-I'd love
to see him. Yeah.

- I'll call him.
- Mom!

- Can I go shoot
some hoops at Victor's?
- Sure, honey.

He's all grown up now.

And then this algorithm
killed my show,

and I'm just feeling
really lost, you know?

And now, my agent wants me to go
and take a meeting at BanShe.

- You don't wanna work
with those dudes.
- I know!

Yeah, I used to be a baker
at this kickass churro shop

in Eagle Rock.

It was cushy as fuck. Like...

I could've rode
that shit forever,

but I knew I had to
level up to beignets.

Well, all the churro
dudes were like,

"Rein in your ambitions, Mitch,"
but I was like...


And now, and I say this
in all humility,

my place is the shit.

And that's all because
I believed in my own abilities.

I never really thought
about it that way.

I know.

Oh my god, that's heaven.

- Jesus Christ, get a life.
- Sorry that took so long.

Oh my god, I dream about these.

We can't just give up
on "Joplin." I mean,

maybe we try another
streaming service?

Let's see what BanShe
has to say.

They have another project
they'd like to work with you on.

But I don't know if I wanna
work with those dudes.

I think you should
at least hear them out.

- Did you get the dipping sauce?
- Maybe we start our own
streaming service.

You get the fuck away from me!


- Barry?
- Yes.

Hi, it's Sharon, Chris' wife.

Hi. Hi. How are you?
Uh, what's wrong?

Nothing's wrong. How are you?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

- Uh, how are you?
- Good.

- I saw that article about you.
- Oh yeah.

Yeah, that was...
H-how's your son?

- He's good.
- Yeah?

Um, look, I-I'm putting
together a dinner

for some of the vets
from my charity,

and I'd love for you to come.

Yeah. No, that'd be great. When?

Um, I'm thinking tonight.
Is that crazy?

That's not crazy at all. Yeah.
No, just send me your address.

That's great.

A-a-absolutely great for me.

- Great.
- Uh, hey, can I bring something?

- No, no.
- No, no, no.

I know exactly
what I'm gonna bring
and it's gonna be great.

And you're gonna love it
'cause they're delicious.

Okay, well,
I-I'll talk to you soon.

- Alright.
- Okay.

I'll talk to you later,
or I'll see you tonight.

Yeah, send me your address.
Okay. Love you.

I, uh...

I didn't mean to say I love you.

I don't know why
I just said that, okay?

Sorry. I just went through
a bad breakup.

-I'm in a bad place.
-No, no. It-it's all good.
It's all good.

You know what I mean?


I thought you were
gonna hang up.
Y... I'll hang up. Okay. Bye.

This is great.

♪ ♪

Sí, sí...

Ow. Oh...

Are you feeling better?

Holy smokes.

I'm so fucked!
Everything is so fucked!

So now, you know,

my business is, like,
completely burned down

and cops are on my tail,

and they took my Cristobal.

This dude lied to you,

didn't tell you he was married,

didn't tell you
he was straight.

Now don't get me wrong.
He sounds like a real catch,

but those are massive
red flags, bro.


I go down to Bolivia
and say, like, you know,

like, no more red flags, right?

Hey, dude, look.

I know we just met,

but you seem, like...

kind of rad.

My shit's about to franchise.

We could run this
business together.


You know, I might need
a few days to, you know...

mull that over.

So... Wednesday?


- Okay, bye.
- Late.

I had that talk
with my daughter.


Can you handle
more amazing news?

- How did you get into my house?
- Bob Jacobsen.

You know who that is?

He did the "Wonder Man" films.

You can't just
break into my house.

He's moving into
the streaming space,

which is now creeping
into the theater space.

The guy was so moved by
what you did as a teacher,

he wants to give you
your own show.

"The Gene Cousineau
Master Class."

- "Master Class"?
- That's right.

You with the students.
You know, working with them

like you did with that vet,
that Shawn.

- Barry...
- Teaching them
everything about acting.

Unlocking all the weird shit
that motivates them.

Saving their lives.

It's going to be streaming
into people's homes,

but he also wants to put it
in movie theaters.

- What's his opening offer?
- 400,000.

But I think
I can talk him way up.


I'll do it, under one condition.

Oh, please.
Leave my classroom.

I don't wanna have to
get a restraining order

- against you.
- You're not listening.

You get to direct
all of these stage shows,

and they shoot out
all over the world!

I'm not interested
in helping you

with your little
Master Class.
Now, go.

-And there's the problem.
It's not my Master Class.
-Keep your voice down.

It's not my Master Class.
It is a collaboration.

We do it together. I didn't...

I said I wouldn't do this
unless you got a bigger piece.

- Oh, fuck you.
- No!

Alright, 80-20.

I don't need your charity.

Take it all.

- Bullshit.
- Try me.

If I were you,
I would think about it.



what do you a-and your people
call... water?


You know you're only
20 miles outside of LA.

There's a Starbucks
right over that hill.

Wow, that's

That's incredible... Shit.

Uh... Oh, I'm sorry.

- It's okay.
- Gotta... Yeah.

Jesus fuckin' Christ, what?!

- Is this Ken Goulet?
- Yeah.

This is Jim Moss.

My daughter was
Detective Janice Moss.

You called me about
some information
regarding her murder.

I'd like to meet
and discuss this.

You know what?

Never mind. I made a mistake.
I'm sorry I bothered you.

♪ ♪

Hey, Sally, exclamation point.

I just wanted to say
I appreciate you

for calling me out

for being a, quote,

"violent asshole," end quote.

I am sorry for all the shit

I put you through over
the past couple of weeks.

Parentheses, yelling at
you at work, comma,

offering to break into
your boss' house,


take sleeping pictures of her,

et cetera, et cetera,

end parentheses, wincing emoji.

There is no excuses for that.

B. Period.

S. Exclamation point.

Exclamation point.
Exclamation point.

- Oh man.
- "This looks nice,
and it's 40% off.

"Anyway, I don't think I'm
going to do acting anymore.

"I found a new community
with my Marine friends.

"I'm trying to move forward
by going into the past

"like Marty McFly. LOL.

"Sir, you're talking too loud.
Shit, I'm sorry.

"Just please be quack ye
shame Jonas Brothers haha fresh.

"Sally, I understand if you do
not want to talk to me again.

"I will five you spaceship

brittle teeth in
the sunshine. Barry."

Jesus Christ.
You dodged a bullet.

Sally Reed!
Morgan Dawn-Cherry.

Okay, so excited
to have you here.

- Massive, massive fan.
- Thanks.

So, what is this new project
you guys have for Sally?

Okay. Okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay.

So, um,

this new project we have,
it's called "The New Medusas,"

and we think it could really use

- the Sally Reed touch.
- The show that

replaced "Joplin"
on the homepage?

Not the best pickup line,
I know, but hear me out.

So, it's a show
about three women

who run a salon in SoHo,

who are just trying to get by,

and they have snakes for hair,

and they turn dudes into stone.

- Okay...
- So, right now,

the show,

it's a little,
I don't know, "mm?"

And I think that you,
Sally Reed,

could bring to it
more of a, "mm!"


I don't know what you mean.

So, right now, the show,
it's more...


And you could bring it
to more of a, "yeah!"

I-I think I know
what you're saying.

I have a client right now
that's bringing "yeah!"

to a Fox show that
before was just,

So, we're looking for

and more.

That actually wasn't
in the email.

Sally doesn't do.

She does, "yeah!"
She does "no!"

And she'll do like...

Okay. I understand.
So instead of...

It's more...

I really think
you should do it.

It'll give you
time to audition,

to develop your next
project, it's...

Writer's room?

Isn't that kind of a demotion?

Shouldn't I be trying
to pitch my own show?

Look, it's good money,
and, more importantly,

it preserves your
relationship with BanShe,

which is important.

Alright, I'll do it.

Love it! Yes!

- What's the money?
- Woo! It's good.

It's good. We'll get it up.
We'll get it up.

Are you tied up in...

- some bad business?
- I was.

Trying to put it behind me.

My daughter, Anita...

She likes you.

I think she wants to be
boyfriend and girlfriend.

Told her you seem
like a good man.

I'm working on it, amigo.

♪ ♪

Sometimes, you have to abide
by the signs God gives you.

You said something there.

I'll be right back.

Anita wants to
make dinner for us.

Hope you like spicy.


♪ ♪

Abide by the signs
God gives you.

Mr. Moss.

Kenneth Goulet.

I actually have some
very interesting information

about who
killed your daughter.

Can we meet?


- Yeah, okay.
- So, one, two...

I was walking down the street,

And, uh, I-I came to my house,

and I w-walked up the stairs.

And then I opened up a door.

A-and then I went to the
bathroom, and I was like...

- Zip...
- W-what's going on here?

- So then I left the bathroom.
- Oh.

And there was... and uh...

and then they were
having a meeting.

And the first person to
speak at that meeting

- was Jesse Jackson.
- Je...

- Jesse. Go ahead, do it.
- J... Um...

Be Jesse Jackson.

♪ ♪

What's "Beg-nets by Mitch"?

You haven't seen
these dudes in five years?

Uh, it's more like 12.


Yeah, I'd tread lightly
if I were you.


People change, man. Like,

this one time, I went
to this 10-year reunion

with these guys
I used to deal drugs with.

And they just, like,
weren't the same dudes.

Like, this one guy was,
like, super MAGA,

trying to get me
on anti-CRT shit.

And the other dude
made me watch videos

of dads rapping.
It was corny as fuck.

Yeah, I don't see these guys
being like that.

You don't know.

Trust me. Like...

I would do like, a Zoom sesh

before you go for
the full-on in-person hang.

Just tip your toe.

- Alright.
- No, no. Telling you, dude.

Dip that toe.

♪ You're my buddy,
you're my friend ♪

♪ Oh, my buddy,
where have you been? ♪

♪ You're my buddy... ♪

I think this is the guy.
Is this the guy?

Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, this is the dude!

- Are you sure?
- Uh,

does it look like the picture
Goulet gave us?

I think so.
I mean, yeah, I guess.

- What do we do?
- Shoot him?

Uh, okay.

♪ You're my buddy,
you're my friend ♪

♪ You're my buddy
till the end ♪

♪ You're my buddy,
you're my friend ♪

♪ You're my buddy... ♪
Ah shit.

Damn it!



He's coming towards you!

Goddammit! Fuck!

- Handoff!
- What?


Ah, shit.

It's got a 10-power
adjustable driver's seat.

Not an 8, not a 9.
I'm talking a solid 10.

We're talking
maximum comfort here,
lumbar support.

Look, you need
to treat your back right,

and it all starts right there.

Really, it's about
quality of life.

You know, I probably
shouldn't tell you this,
but, uh, recently,

I've been... the wife and I...
I've been having an affair.

Jesus fuckin' Christ.

Ah, fuck. No fucking way.
Not today. Not today.

No fucking way.
Oh shit! Fuck!

Mr. Kleintop, on the roof!
On the roof! On the roof!

- Jesus Christ!
- Oh my god.

- What the fuck was that?
- Oh, that was cool!

- Is everybody okay?
- Fuck me.

Nobody's hurt, right?

I've never seen
anything like that.

- You all right?
- Go back inside?

- You okay?
- I'm okay. Everybody good?

- Oh my god!
- Did everybody make it out?

♪ You're my buddy till the end ♪

- Hey!
- Hey!

Beignets by Mitch.

- Oh my god!
- Yeah!

- Come on in!
- Yeah.

Oh wow. These smell so good.

I think you're gonna
like these guys.

- You know one of them.
- Fuck...

Here you go.


Is it okay if I have one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely!

Eat as many as you like.

Theo's so excited to see you!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

What did you put in the sauce?

Die, you motherfucker.

♪ Ow! ♪

♪ Hoo! ♪

♪ Yeah! Uh ♪

♪ Aight, y'all listen
to this? Ha! ♪

♪ ♪