Barry (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - What?! - full transcript

I'll have him shittin' in my hand.

What?

- Mm-hmm.
- Wha... ?

- What is this?
- That is the key to my cabin.

I wanna keep it in the family.

I don't want the cabin where
your girlfriend was murdered.

That's sick.

I can't work for you anymore.
You gotta find someone else.

Well, do you know any other assassins?

What if I trained your guys?

My guys suck balls, you know it!



If I suck balls, you are
king of suck balls mountain!

Oh, shut the fuck up.

I decided I'm gonna write
a scene about Sam.

He beat you up,

so we decided that you
needed to get out of there.

Hey, Sally.

Hey, Sam.

Sorry, what?

I said, did you grow up out here, Bobby?

My name is...

Oh, sorry. Barry.

I grew up in Cleveland.

You guys must have a lot in common.

So, Sally, we saw you
on that space show.



Oh... Yeah.

Um, I've been booking a
lot of work actually.

I've been getting lots of parts.
That was one of my smaller ones.

But, um, I've got these new agents,

- and they're really great.
- She's doing great.

That's great. I'm really proud of you.

Hey, I got this.

- My treat.
- Oh. Thank you.

So, uh, Mark Campbell,

he's been coaching my boy's soccer team.

- Wow, small world.
- Yeah.

- Heck, how old's your son?
- Five.

- Wow. Crazy.
- Yeah.

The other day he mentioned that

you were speaking to Kate about a play?

- Yeah, I'm playing you in it.
- Yeah, no, that's not...

Sort of, it's...

Yeah, I didn't think Kate
would tell Mark about that.

- It's not really a play.
- No, it is a play.

I mean, it's a scene in
a play that she wrote,

and it's great.

Is that why you came out here?

No.

Like I said, I was headed
to San Diego on business.

- Oh, San Diego, okay.
- Yeah.

But since I'm here,

is it like something I can see?

- No.
- No, not gonna happen.

Well, because it's not
really like a "show" show.

It's not really like a play.
It's more like a scene,

- and it's kind of more like an exercise.
- It's not an exercise.

- Well, it is. At this point, it's an exercise...
- It's a show we're do...

- We're in this class together...
- But it's gonna be a show that

... we perform in front of people.

- and, um, we're doing this exercise.
- It's a show...

Not really about you. It's
more about me and my life,

and so, it's not really
the kind of thing that...

- I think you'd be bored.
- It's gonna be great.

All right.

Well, anyway, I, uh, take off on Sunday.

I'm staying at the Valley Inn
and Suites, Studio City.

All these cities, right? Why
can't it just be Los Angeles?

- It's good to see you, Sally.
- Yeah.

Hey, nice to meet you, bud.

Nice!

Way to go, Khazam!

Great form, yeah.

Activate your core, though, okay?

Great stuff.

So...

life at stash house has
been super tense, man.

As you know, my favorite flavor...

... of all ice creams is Rocky Road.

And yesterday,

I go to soft-serve machine...

... and Cristobal has had my
favorite replaced with cookie dough.

Which is the favorite
flavor of guess who.

You know how people

start to look like their dogs?

Well, Esther is sporting
very Cristobal-esque hair.

- What the fuck is this?
- And I... Barry?

Aah!

You think this is some fucking game?

Think it's some fucking game, huh?

You lose your focus, you give
the other guy a chance to fire,

you're dead!

Kill!

It's the only word I want
in your fucking head.

Kill.

- We fucking speak English!
- We know what he fucking say!

Go! You fucking...

Your story is that your
father was abducted

and replaced by aliens?

That's what happened.

I'm having a little trouble with that.

You're having a little
trouble with that?

Well, you think... I've had
that trouble my entire life,

- dealing with that, all right?
- Really?

No, I'm gonna act the
vomit. I'm gonna act it.

Um, probably won't see it because
I'll put my head in a toilet.

So you'll just hear like a...

- ... you know, sounds.
- I can make it, I can make it.

- I've done it before.
- I think it's more powerful

if you see it as well.

I think it's more powerful

- if you vomit, actually.
- Yes.

You just put your hands on
me for the last time, Sam.

I'm done with that.

And that's how it's
gonna be from now on.

You hear me?

You wanna choke me?

Well, choke on this: We're done.

You got it?

I... Oh, that's your line.

- It's, "Oh, baby, please... "
- I know, I know, I know, um...

Hey, listen, I'm not trying to be

- a jerk or anything, um...
- Uh-huh?

When we went and had dinner with Sam,

you asked how his... his son was,

and you thanked him for paying the bill.

Yeah, so what? I... I don't
know, I was just being polite.

No, I get it. I-I'm just asking...

Okay, in this you say,

"I don't ever want to see you again,"

- right?
- Mm-hmm.

But then he asked us out to dinner,

and you seemed pretty down for it.

And I was just... I was surprised.

Oh, I don't wanna upset you.

Listen, I'm just...

Do you understand what I'm
saying? I'm just trying to...

I'm just trying to understand
where this is coming from.

Whoa, hey. Sally?

- I can make like a prosthetic head.
- Yes!

That's... In my mind's eye,
that is literally what I saw.

Oh, we'll run a tube through it,
I'll have the vomit come out there.

- Oh, my God, Nat!
- Real vomit.

Hey. Hey, what's wrong?

I never stood up to him.

I mean, he fucking...

he beat the shit out of me, I mean.

He nearly fucking choked me
to death, but I didn't...

I mean, I never... I... I mean...

I mean, I think I curled into
bed with him afterwards.

And I think, I think that I held him.

I mean, I might have even said,
"I love you," for fuck's sake.

I mean, I didn't tell him to
fucking choke on fucking anything.

And then, I mean, eventually,
yeah, I left, but I...

but, I mean, he was asleep.

Hey, but you, left.

Sally, you left, that's
what's important.

Oh, God, I mean, in the
beginning, it was kind of okay,

like for a year, maybe.

But I was fucking 19. I mean,
what the fuck did I know?

I mean, but then it was just,
you know, it was like years

of just like beatings
and apologies and...

and this like vicious kind of cycle

that just kept repeating
itself, but I just...

I mean, I stayed.

Hey...

You know, I wrote it like this because

if I don't do it this way, then
how do I explain to people

that I just like...

like ran away?

You don't have to.

What, you mean like lie?

It's not lying. You said it yourself,

you said you're a strong person.

Yeah, but...

I mean, this? This didn't happen.

Well, yeah, but...

you know, Star Wars didn't
happen and that's a rad movie.

You know, just because
you're in this class...

... it doesn't mean that
you can't have secrets.

You know, you should...

You should be able to be the
person that you say you are.

Like I'm Barry Block.

I'm an actor.

You're Sally Reed,

and you stood up to Sam.

- I didn't.
- Yes, you did. It's okay.

Sally...

You don't think all this
spy game stuff is overkill?

No. You fucked up.

- Now we're out of options.
- Oh. Mm-hmm.

At least this way, I
control the situation.

- Yeah.
- Just get him here, get him talking,

- and I'll do the rest.
- You remember he's a pro, right?

I trained him.

You think he's gonna, you
know, let himself walk

into some kind of situation

where he's gonna blurt everything out?

- Answer it.
- Okay.

Hey, Barry.

Hey, look, I tried that
Braveheart speech,

but, um, apparently that's like
a super popular movie, um...

Do you know of any lesser-known movies

that maybe I could do a speech from?

Uh, no, jeez, Barry. No, not
off the top of my head, no.

Yeah, they just have to
have a good speech in them.

Eric recommended Samuel L. Jackson's
speech from Deep Blue Sea,

but he gets eaten by a
shark midway through it,

so I don't really wanna do that one.

- And then there's Independence Day...
- What?

- Get him here.
- That's what that says?

Get... him... here.

I don't wanna steal
their thunder on that.

Yeah. No, no. No, I hear
what you're saying.

I don't know, man. I'm just...
just a little lost here.

You know what, pal? Why
don't, why don't you come

over here and we'll, you know,
we'll talk about it together?

- Yeah?
- Really? Oh, that'd be great.

That'd be great. Where are you?

Uh, the address? Uh, yeah,
let me find the address.

It's, uh... I'm at the
Hollywood Palm View Motel.

It's near Universal, and the address,

the address is...

The address is 10729 Vineland Avenue.

Vineland. All right, cool.

All right, I'll see you then.
And, hey, Fuches.

- Yeah?
- Uh, thank you.

Thank you. I-I...

I really appreciate this.

Sure, buddy, no problem.

Leo?

Dad, hey.

And to what do I owe this pleasure?

Uh, we had a bunch of
extra strawberries,

and I remembered you
liked them, so, um...

We were gonna have to throw
those out anyway, so I...

Well, that makes me feel wonderful,
'cause no matter what you feel,

I know that I rate above the garbage.

Look, my therapist and my wife
both think this is a bad idea,

but, uh, do you maybe want
to get a meal sometime?

A meal?

Leo and me having a meal?

Okay, I'm gonna AirDrop you my info.

Push that, push that,
and then push send.

- It's on its way.
- Great.

Hey, listen, you wanna
come in for some tea?

- You want some whiskey?
- I-I'm fine.

I know it's early, but you're
still your mother's son.

- I'll call you. Okay, Dad?
- Yeah. Okay.

Hey, Leo.

What made you change your mind?

You made an effort.

- Ah.
- Talk soon.

Oh, I look forward to it.

Uh, Dad, you...

you Airdropped me a
picture of you shirtless,

in front of a mirror.

That's because I was being
fitted for a shirt,

and they wanted to see my, um...

You know what I'm gonna
do? I'm gonna give you

my cell phone number
right now. You ready?

You're a coward, Sam.

You're a small, little man,

and it is a big, big world out there.

And...

... of my life.

So I'm not gonna waste
the rest of my life.

So I'm not gonna waste
the rest of my life.

So I'm not gonna waste
the rest of my life.

That's it.

Life, emphasize life.

I'm not gonna waste the rest of my life

watching it all pass me by.

You wanna choke me, Sam? Hmm? Huh?

Fuck.

- Hey!
- Hey, man.

Hey, Sally said she didn't
want you seeing that.

No, you said you didn't
want me to see it.

- It's my story, I have the right.
- Get out of here, man.

You know how she is. She's a chick.

- She's fucking dramatic.
- All right, let's leave.

I have a family.

This could completely fuck up my life.

She's lucky I don't get
my lawyer involved.

That's your problem, not mine. Go.

Go.

You know, you're a fucking prick, man.

All right.

And don't forget, I fucked her first.

I got it when that shit was tight.

You just hit me for the
last time, Sam. You...

You take a look at these
bruises because...

You just hit me for the last time, Sam.

You take a good look at these bruises,

because I am walking out
that door, and I...

No, you take a good look at my face.

You take a look at my face
for one last time, Sam,

'cause I am...

'Cause I...

- Hello?
- Hey, it's Sam.

Look, I know you don't want to see me,

but I have something that I...

Could you swing by my hotel?

Uh...

No, I don't think that's
gonna happen, Sam.

Well, I wouldn't ask except
I'm moving my flight up,

and I'm leaving tonight.

And I got something, and I want
to give it to you before I leave.

Pick up the torch, dude.

I can't! Oh, my God.

- Why can't I pick it up?
- Because you're terrible.

Ooh, fuck.

- This game sucks!
- You suck, dude.

- Oh, my God, what's happening?
- Yeah, come on, bring it!

I don't know, I...

I don't think this is such a good idea.

Look, if it's such a big deal,

just meet me in the coffee
shop, in the lobby.

Hi, uh, the café is closed, so...

Yeah, I saw that.

Just come up to my room.

Sally, my flight's at 10. I gotta pack.

It'll take two seconds.

Okay. Fine.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Um, what'd you need to give
me? 'Cause I gotta go soon.

Yeah, I know. I, uh, I meant to
give it to you earlier, but...

Oh, my God.

Sophomore year.

I came to all six performances.
You were great.

You can keep it.

Okay. Well, thanks.

Listen, I want to apologize
for coming to LA.

It was crazy.

I have a family. I didn't
want this to upend my life.

Yeah, no one is trying to...

I'm not trying to upend your life.

- That's wasn't...
- I know that. I-I...

I wasn't trusting you, which is crazy.

I wasn't thinking, and
I... I freaked out.

Also, things back home have been hard.

I haven't been in the best headspace.

Well, what's going on at home?

My dad is sick.

Oh, no. Jack's sick?

Look, I hope that he gets better
soon, and, you know, I mean,

keep me posted on how he's doing,

and thanks for the...

I will. Thank you, Sally.

- It's great to see you.
- Yeah.

And, you know, I...

I totally understand
why you were concerned

about my show and me using
your name and stuff,

and I just, I promise to
be respectful of that.

- Okay?
- Thanks.

Take care.

So you won't do the play, then?

No, I'm... I'm doing the play, Sam.

What part of "I have a family"
do you not understand?

- Yeah, it's my story, too.
- Not the made-up part!

- What?
- Yeah, I saw you rehearsing.

That scene is bullshit, Sally.

It never happened, and you know it.

Look, I'll change your name, okay?

You're being dramatic!

You're just doing this to get attention!

So how about no, huh?

How about you just grow
up and don't do it?

Yeah, run away, just like before!

Tell everyone how you
kicked my ass or something!

Everyone's the hero of
their own story, right?

Lying bitch!

What the fuck? Where is he?

I don't know. I'm not his mother.

- Maybe he's not coming.
- You said you built his mind!

Aah! Fuck!

Yeah, well... maybe you spooked him!

You ever think of that? Huh?

Nice job, dipshit!

- Barry?
- Hey. Hey, Fuches.

Hey, listen, man. I need to talk to you.

Just listen, okay?

Do not come here, you got it?
And do not call me again.

I cannot talk to you, do you understand?

No, but Fuches, I...

Look, I almost did something
really stupid, man, and I...

I am blocking your number.
Do not contact me anymore.

What?

Hey.

Hey, it's Barry Berkman.

Look, today a guy...
said something to me,

and it, uh, made me mad.

What'd you do? You thump him up, huh?

Did you throw him a little high heat?

A little chin music?

Hey, Barry, we're both alphas.

I understand.

No, no that's not what I
did. Look, when I, uh...

When I get angry, I don't
like who I become.

Can I... Can I be totally
honest with you?

Barry, this is becoming
a little frustrating.

You finally open up to me,
you tell me this great story

about shooting a sheep-fucker,

then all of a sudden,
you don't wanna do it.

So you start talking about
our friend, Albert.

Then you leave that,
and all of a sudden,

it devolves into some kind
of Braveheart bullshit.

For the love of God, Barry,

would you pick one horse and ride it?

Now what happened with Albert?

Listen to me, son. There
are no accidents.

You started writing this
story for a reason.

The very same reason
you came here tonight.

You want to tell this story.

You need to tell this story.

You'll look at me differently.

I promise you, I will not
look at you differently.

What happened?

Oh, my God. Albert, Albert!
You're going into shock, man.

Can't see 'em! Can't see 'em!

Berkman! What are you doing?

Fucking, you fuck!

You fuck!

- That's right, you fuck!
- Barry, no!

Barry, what the fuck are you doing?

What? He fucking shot Albert!

Barry, stop! It's not the guy!

What the fuck is wrong with
you? Are you fucking insane?

They were across the street on
the roof, you fucking psycho!

Then they sent me to a
hospital in Germany.

And, uh...

a family friend pulled some
strings and got me discharged.

After that, I, um...

I didn't feel like I
deserved a good life.

Holy shit.

Fuck!

Fu...

Who else did you tell this story to?

- In class? No one.
- Good.

So here's my advice:

You never tell that story
again as long as you live,

'cause basically, you killed somebody,

and you got away with it.

See, this is why I
didn't wanna tell you.

'Cause you're gonna
look at me differently.

You're gonna look at me
like I'm a murderer,

- like I'm a violent piece of shit.
- Barry.

Listen to me.

I have a son.

I was terrible to this son.

I was cruel, I was selfish,

and there's nothing I
can do to change that.

But I don't wanna be that guy anymore.

And I pray that human beings
can change their nature.

Because if we can't,

then you and I are in deep trouble.

Well, how do we do that?

I think we're doing it already.

You didn't beat that guy up, did you?

You came here.

We're talking about your feelings

instead of acting out your feelings.

And as for my son,

the first time I reached out to him

after years and years and years,

I got a big, "Fuck you, Dad!"

But today, today...

he brought me strawberries.

Do you think I'm a bad
person, Mr. Cousineau?

I think you're deeply human.

You did a terrible thing,

but do I think that defines you?

No.

That's why I don't think you should tell

this story in front of the class.

Also, they will shit themselves.

I mean, they're children.

So we're gonna be okay?

I promise you, we're...

We're gonna work through this, okay?

Do you trust me?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Now, I bill my private classes
through another loan out.

So I'm just gonna go
and get that ledger.

Okay.

Oh, fuck. Fuck.

Aah. Shit.

It's... I...

Okay, okay.

All right.

Fuches!

Barry?

Hey, what are you doing up there?

Uh, I...

I can't find something.

Hey, I gotta tell you something.

- Now?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I'll come up. I'll come up.
- No, wait, wait, wait!

No...

- Fuches.
- Aah!

- Hey, you're not gonna believe this.
- What?

The best thing happened. It's amazing!

Barry, no. Barry, no,
no. Shit, shit, no.

No!

Fuck!

- Okay. I know you don't want me calling.
- Barry...

- That's why I came here. But listen, listen.
- Barry, just...

I told Mr. Cousineau about Korengal.

He accepted me. He said
that I... What did he say?

He said I can change my nature.
Do you know what that means?

- I-I know.
- That means that I can own all this stuff

- that we've been talking about.
- Barry...

All these things that I
don't like about myself,

that I can own them and
they don't define me.

Like, you know, what
happened in the war,

what we do together, even the
things I don't like about myself

- that I regret like killing Moss.
- No.

I don't have to live with
that regret anymore.

I can move past it.

I'm not a violent piece of
shit is what I'm saying.

What?

Hey, Barry.

Hey, Fuches, why don't
you give us a moment?

Barry...

Get out.

I'm sorr... I'm sorry.

Fuches...

Sit down, Berkman.

Sit down!

I got you.

I got you, Berkman.

You are so fucked.

I know that was you on the lipstick cam.

Yeah.

And Moss was on to you,

so you killed her.

Please, Let me talk to him!

Shut up!

Tape's off, so it's just you and me.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna do this.

You thought of everything,
you thought of everything,

so there's nothing left to do.

That's how it goes. It's all worked out,

It's all worked out, so, yeah...

You went over it and over
it, and so now's the time.

Hey, Loach, don't do anything stupid.

- Loach!
- Shut up!

Do you have any idea what it's like

to fucking love somebody
and have some motherfucker

come along and take them
away from you? Do you?

I'm sorry about Janice.

Not-Not Moss?

That's Ronnie Proxin.

He's fucking my wife.

You get rid of him, all
of this goes away.

What?!

Your name's Ronnie Proxin, right?

- Uh-huh.
- Don't freak out.

I've been sent here to kill you.

I'm not gonna do that.

Calling an audible right now.

Oh, okay, so, I want you
to drive to Chicago,

and I need you to stay
there... for about a year.

- Mm.
- Do you have a suitcase?

Today, a guy...

said something to me and
it, uh, made me mad.

What'd you do? You thump him up?

Huh? Did you throw him
a little high heat?

A little chin music?

Hey, Barry.

We're both alphas.

I understand.

This episode has a scene in
the show, which I think's

probably the linchpin
of the whole season.

Barry tells Cousineau his truth,

and Cousineau gives that speech.

I pray that human beings
can change their nature

because if we can't, then you
and I are in deep trouble.

He's saying it to Barry,

but every character's
kinda going through that.

Barry and Cousineau, obviously.

Sally with her ex,

and trying to front as, like,
she's a strong person,

but trying... having a hard time
admitting that she was weak.

And how do I explain to
people that I just, like...

like, ran away?

She's very ashamed about that, right?

- Incredibly ashamed by it, yeah.
- The person she is today

wouldn't behave that way.

- I like that scene for Barry a lot.
- Yeah.

'Cause he's just like,
"Well, wait a second."

- You don't have to.
- I mean, this?

What... this didn't happen.

You know, Star Wars didn't happen,

and that's a rad movie.

- Come to the dark side of...
- Yeah.

of denial and... You know?

It ends up undermining her
ability to confront Sam.

That scene is bullshit.

It never happened, and you know it.

He's yelling at her for
putting her "truth" onstage.

He has a legitimate point
that she's fictionalizing it.

Don't do it!

We had this thing in season one
about Loach having an ex-wife,

and we thought, "Oh, wouldn't
it be interesting if... "

That's Ronnie Proxin.
If you get rid of him...

all of this goes away.

What?!

When we started season two writing,

that was one of the tentpole things.

The first half of the
season, you felt like

Loach was gaining on Barry,

and then you do that twist,

that then when you went
back and watch the scenes,

you realize, this is why
he's doing all this stuff

- is to get all this information on Barry.
- I got you.

So he can have Barry
perform a hit for him.