Ballmastrz 9009 (2018–2020): Season 1, Episode 7 - Leather Passions! 2 Hearts, 2 Wheelz, Infinite Roads. Ride Now! - full transcript
The Leptons stop by a bar when Dee Dee ditches them for a sly biker gang leader in spite, and Leto tries to man up and get her back.
Ballmastrz.
♪♪
Ugh. Nothing but barren waste
as far as the eye can see --
a parched reminder of man's
cruel inhumanity to man.
Don't be a poop, Leto.
Road trips are the best.
Let's play a game.
-Ugh.
The first person to spot a rack
from the Rad Wars yells out,
"Newt!"
and gets a point.
Newt!
That's one point for me.
[ Sighs ]
How we doing, kid?
We're making
great time, Gaz.
I'm so excited.
Okay. Okay.
Two hands
on the wheel, spaz.
Crazart's ghost.
Which one of you animals
clogged up the pipes again?
Ace, pull this thing over.
I got to take a major leak.
I guess we could use
a pit stop to fuel up.
Just try to hold it
for a few more vectors.
Make it snappy.
My teeth are floating here!
Who's up for some
watery domestic?
Don't mention liquids.
I'm about to burst.
Gangway, boys,
'cause I mean biz.
This bloated ball
has got to whiz.
We don't serve
her kind here.
-[ Growls ]
-It's okay, Lulu.
you can help me dumpster dive
for garbage fuel instead.
♪♪
Come on, Leto.
Let's cut a rug.
Aw, DD, really?
Don't be such
a wallflower.
Let's dance.
-Can't.
Got two left feet, see?
I'm sure Flip will
dance with you.
Flip has no feet.
Dance with me!
What are you waiting for,
sailor, a mating call?
Ugh.
Ah.
Hands off my boyfriend!
Ace:
Great job, Lulu.
I bet we've reconstituted
enough trash into buzz fuel
to last us
a dozen road trips.
[ Screaming ]
Jeepers.
That's not a good sign.
Scram, Leto.
I was pussing out here first.
And so I says to him,
"A good night with me
is like a table --
four bare legs
and no drawers."
Flip: Yeah! I walked the ancient
path of Secret Solitude,
suppressed the
Hundred Hindrances,
clearing my mind
and my core
so that I might become
a more divine instrument
of holy retribution!
Now, quake with misgiving
at the missile of insight!
Behold umbilicus!
Ah!
Gaz: Ow.
[ Yelling ]
[ Growling ]
[ Whistles ]
Heel, boys.
This one fights like a devil,
but looks like an angel.
Oh. Me?
What's your name,
Gorgeous?
Oh. I'm Duleena Duneeda,
but my friends call me DD.
Can I be
your friend, DD?
Oh, wow!
Oh, wow.
Okay, D, whenever you're done
swapping spit with this greaser,
we got a game
to get to.
You'd be a goddess
on the back of my bike.
I get it, Sis,
but we've got to hit the road.
Why don't you
stick around, Mama?
Roll with the fingers --
assuming your boyfriend
doesn't mind.
Oh, I'm not actually
her boyfriend.
I'm staying.
-DD, what about the team?
-The lady has spoken.
Now, you jokers should beat it
before you get fingered again.
Yeah, you guys
better beat it.
Can't say I'm up for saving
your asses twice in one day.
Leto: Ugh.
[ Buzzer ]
Well, that sucked.
I don't know
what happened, guys.
I was totally
useless.
It's like some vital piece
of me has gone missing.
If you're suggesting
that your performance
tonight lacked cojones,
I'll strongly agree.
I can't stop
thinking about DD.
I guess you don't know
what you got till it's gone.
ALL: This just in, sports fans.
Could it b-b-be?
Former Lepton loser-loser,
Duleena Duneeda
is ravaging the wastelands
with the notorious
Middle Fingers Biker gang?
Seems like things between DD
and the leader of the pack,
Bacchus LeBrute,
are really heating up.
G-g-g-get out
your Geiger counters.
These lovers are
radiating romance.
Ugh.
Do you think she's
really found true love?
I don't know,
but it looks like
she's have a hell of a good time
making up her mind.
Oh, heaven knows
I'm miserable now.
Spare me, wussbag.
We got murdered out there
'cause of your mopey
lollygagging.
The already dismal
chances of this team
ever winning a game
are cut in half without DD.
We need to
get her back,
and there's only one
thing that will do it.
-It's the power of love.
-Ugh.
The kid's
right, Leto.
Time to man up
and reclaim DD's heart.
DD always loved
your poetry, Leto.
You need to compose
her a love poem.
It'll be the bestest
poem ever.
I've never had
a girlfriend before,
but if I had to win
someone's affection,
I would want do do it
through beautiful verse.
She was never actually
my girlfriend.
Gaz: Eh, I don't think poetry
is gonna cut it this time.
Bacchus LeBrute
is serious competition
in the testosterone
department.
You know, if poem boy
were more of a badass,
he might actually stand
a chance again Bacchus.
Existential crisis,
murdered by biker gang.
Existential crisis,
murdered by --
Would it hurt so much
to just fake having
a pair of nuts for once?
That's it. Fake it!
You're gonna fake it!
Well, well.
Look who's returned.
[ Gasps ]
Leto!
It...
What a surprise.
Whoa. Ow.
[ Banging ]
I'm back, Mama.
[ Laughs ]
I see what you're doing,
Leto -- sweet but pathetic.
Oh, wow.
You are a hoot.
Okay, man.
So, here's the deal.
It took some real sack
to show your face here again,
so I'll give you
another shot at DD.
You will?
We're gonna race through
Gallows Gulch, just you and me.
My wheels
against yours.
And if you win, you can
take the chick back.
-He can?
-What if you win?
When I win, I get the pink
slip to your team bus.
[ Gasping ]
Um...
Okay. Sure.
Seems fair.
Gallows Gulch,
high noon.
Don't be late.
You maroon. Have you ever ridden
a motorcycle before?
[ Growls ]
She has a great point.
We don't even have a bike
for Leto to ride.
Close your eyes and
think of motorcycles.
You are
insanely weird.
Just try it. Close your eyes
and concentrate really hard.
Okay, okay.
I'm doing it.
Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.
Vroom. Vroom.
Think about
motorcycles.
Hey, stop!
What are you doing, kid?
Ballmastrz.
Whoa.
Ballmastrz.
Bike master!
It worked!
We fused into
a new ballmastr formation.
We look even cooler
than I hoped for!
Says you. I really made an ass
out of myself this time.
Hope on, Leto.
You've got
a race to win.
♪♪
Crazy wheels, man.
Uh, yeah.
It's an import.
Vroom. Vroom.
Here we go,
Poem Boy.
You better hang on
to your longfellow.
♪♪
Watch out.
[ Screaming ]
[ Whistles ]
Whoa.
Huh. Guys, looks like we got
some late entries.
-Rotten cheaters.
-I got these ass clowns.
[ Burps ]
Ballmastrz.
[ Birds screeching ]
Ballmastrz.
Ballmastrz.
[Singing] So much
for your dirty tricks.
They're just no match
for my vomit slicks.
Vroom, vroom.
Ballmastrz.
Ballmastrz.
Wow!
[ Cheering ]
[ Growling ]
Oh...
Nobody shows me up.
Let go of my boyfriend!
[ Bacchus yelling ]
I'm so glad you're
back on the team, DD.
I'm feeling good from
my head down to my toes.
Well, you know
what they say --
"If you love
something, let it go.
And if it returns,
it was meant to be."
Uh, let's just
take it slow, DD.
This escapade has
really been straining.
Maybe you'd like
to spend tomorrow
straining your crap
to find your dick!
Ugh.
♪ Ballmastrz
♪ Ballmastrz
♪ Ballmastrz
Chirp.
♪♪
Ugh. Nothing but barren waste
as far as the eye can see --
a parched reminder of man's
cruel inhumanity to man.
Don't be a poop, Leto.
Road trips are the best.
Let's play a game.
-Ugh.
The first person to spot a rack
from the Rad Wars yells out,
"Newt!"
and gets a point.
Newt!
That's one point for me.
[ Sighs ]
How we doing, kid?
We're making
great time, Gaz.
I'm so excited.
Okay. Okay.
Two hands
on the wheel, spaz.
Crazart's ghost.
Which one of you animals
clogged up the pipes again?
Ace, pull this thing over.
I got to take a major leak.
I guess we could use
a pit stop to fuel up.
Just try to hold it
for a few more vectors.
Make it snappy.
My teeth are floating here!
Who's up for some
watery domestic?
Don't mention liquids.
I'm about to burst.
Gangway, boys,
'cause I mean biz.
This bloated ball
has got to whiz.
We don't serve
her kind here.
-[ Growls ]
-It's okay, Lulu.
you can help me dumpster dive
for garbage fuel instead.
♪♪
Come on, Leto.
Let's cut a rug.
Aw, DD, really?
Don't be such
a wallflower.
Let's dance.
-Can't.
Got two left feet, see?
I'm sure Flip will
dance with you.
Flip has no feet.
Dance with me!
What are you waiting for,
sailor, a mating call?
Ugh.
Ah.
Hands off my boyfriend!
Ace:
Great job, Lulu.
I bet we've reconstituted
enough trash into buzz fuel
to last us
a dozen road trips.
[ Screaming ]
Jeepers.
That's not a good sign.
Scram, Leto.
I was pussing out here first.
And so I says to him,
"A good night with me
is like a table --
four bare legs
and no drawers."
Flip: Yeah! I walked the ancient
path of Secret Solitude,
suppressed the
Hundred Hindrances,
clearing my mind
and my core
so that I might become
a more divine instrument
of holy retribution!
Now, quake with misgiving
at the missile of insight!
Behold umbilicus!
Ah!
Gaz: Ow.
[ Yelling ]
[ Growling ]
[ Whistles ]
Heel, boys.
This one fights like a devil,
but looks like an angel.
Oh. Me?
What's your name,
Gorgeous?
Oh. I'm Duleena Duneeda,
but my friends call me DD.
Can I be
your friend, DD?
Oh, wow!
Oh, wow.
Okay, D, whenever you're done
swapping spit with this greaser,
we got a game
to get to.
You'd be a goddess
on the back of my bike.
I get it, Sis,
but we've got to hit the road.
Why don't you
stick around, Mama?
Roll with the fingers --
assuming your boyfriend
doesn't mind.
Oh, I'm not actually
her boyfriend.
I'm staying.
-DD, what about the team?
-The lady has spoken.
Now, you jokers should beat it
before you get fingered again.
Yeah, you guys
better beat it.
Can't say I'm up for saving
your asses twice in one day.
Leto: Ugh.
[ Buzzer ]
Well, that sucked.
I don't know
what happened, guys.
I was totally
useless.
It's like some vital piece
of me has gone missing.
If you're suggesting
that your performance
tonight lacked cojones,
I'll strongly agree.
I can't stop
thinking about DD.
I guess you don't know
what you got till it's gone.
ALL: This just in, sports fans.
Could it b-b-be?
Former Lepton loser-loser,
Duleena Duneeda
is ravaging the wastelands
with the notorious
Middle Fingers Biker gang?
Seems like things between DD
and the leader of the pack,
Bacchus LeBrute,
are really heating up.
G-g-g-get out
your Geiger counters.
These lovers are
radiating romance.
Ugh.
Do you think she's
really found true love?
I don't know,
but it looks like
she's have a hell of a good time
making up her mind.
Oh, heaven knows
I'm miserable now.
Spare me, wussbag.
We got murdered out there
'cause of your mopey
lollygagging.
The already dismal
chances of this team
ever winning a game
are cut in half without DD.
We need to
get her back,
and there's only one
thing that will do it.
-It's the power of love.
-Ugh.
The kid's
right, Leto.
Time to man up
and reclaim DD's heart.
DD always loved
your poetry, Leto.
You need to compose
her a love poem.
It'll be the bestest
poem ever.
I've never had
a girlfriend before,
but if I had to win
someone's affection,
I would want do do it
through beautiful verse.
She was never actually
my girlfriend.
Gaz: Eh, I don't think poetry
is gonna cut it this time.
Bacchus LeBrute
is serious competition
in the testosterone
department.
You know, if poem boy
were more of a badass,
he might actually stand
a chance again Bacchus.
Existential crisis,
murdered by biker gang.
Existential crisis,
murdered by --
Would it hurt so much
to just fake having
a pair of nuts for once?
That's it. Fake it!
You're gonna fake it!
Well, well.
Look who's returned.
[ Gasps ]
Leto!
It...
What a surprise.
Whoa. Ow.
[ Banging ]
I'm back, Mama.
[ Laughs ]
I see what you're doing,
Leto -- sweet but pathetic.
Oh, wow.
You are a hoot.
Okay, man.
So, here's the deal.
It took some real sack
to show your face here again,
so I'll give you
another shot at DD.
You will?
We're gonna race through
Gallows Gulch, just you and me.
My wheels
against yours.
And if you win, you can
take the chick back.
-He can?
-What if you win?
When I win, I get the pink
slip to your team bus.
[ Gasping ]
Um...
Okay. Sure.
Seems fair.
Gallows Gulch,
high noon.
Don't be late.
You maroon. Have you ever ridden
a motorcycle before?
[ Growls ]
She has a great point.
We don't even have a bike
for Leto to ride.
Close your eyes and
think of motorcycles.
You are
insanely weird.
Just try it. Close your eyes
and concentrate really hard.
Okay, okay.
I'm doing it.
Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.
Vroom. Vroom.
Think about
motorcycles.
Hey, stop!
What are you doing, kid?
Ballmastrz.
Whoa.
Ballmastrz.
Bike master!
It worked!
We fused into
a new ballmastr formation.
We look even cooler
than I hoped for!
Says you. I really made an ass
out of myself this time.
Hope on, Leto.
You've got
a race to win.
♪♪
Crazy wheels, man.
Uh, yeah.
It's an import.
Vroom. Vroom.
Here we go,
Poem Boy.
You better hang on
to your longfellow.
♪♪
Watch out.
[ Screaming ]
[ Whistles ]
Whoa.
Huh. Guys, looks like we got
some late entries.
-Rotten cheaters.
-I got these ass clowns.
[ Burps ]
Ballmastrz.
[ Birds screeching ]
Ballmastrz.
Ballmastrz.
[Singing] So much
for your dirty tricks.
They're just no match
for my vomit slicks.
Vroom, vroom.
Ballmastrz.
Ballmastrz.
Wow!
[ Cheering ]
[ Growling ]
Oh...
Nobody shows me up.
Let go of my boyfriend!
[ Bacchus yelling ]
I'm so glad you're
back on the team, DD.
I'm feeling good from
my head down to my toes.
Well, you know
what they say --
"If you love
something, let it go.
And if it returns,
it was meant to be."
Uh, let's just
take it slow, DD.
This escapade has
really been straining.
Maybe you'd like
to spend tomorrow
straining your crap
to find your dick!
Ugh.
♪ Ballmastrz
♪ Ballmastrz
♪ Ballmastrz
Chirp.