Ballmastrz 9009 (2018–2020): Season 1, Episode 5 - Breathe Deep to Win! Teamwork Cuts Through the Foul Odor of Obsession! - full transcript
The team receives a present from one of Gaz's old fans that makes the Leptons stink, literally. To overcome this stalker, the Leptons must train themselves to weather even the smelliest obstacles and face their enemy head on.
Gaz! Gaz, wake up!
We're here.
Now, now, just shut up and let
a legend catch a disco nap.
No one should be this excited
about being in Neerg.
This place sucks ass.
-I don't about that.
Last time I was here,
whoa, boy!
Let's just say, uh, me and
these blonde conjoined twins,
we had ourselves
a little, uh, uh-huh.
Okay, fine,
nothing happened,
but, you know,
tomorrow's another day.
And today is a day, too.
We have three days
of practice
to prepare for a game
we might actually win.
Calm down, spaz boy.
Carry my bag.
-[ Grunts ]
Can you believe
this kid?
Yeah! Lockers?
Free weights?
This place is like
a king's palace.
Look, a sauna.
Who wants to join me
while I steam my muscular buns?
Your loss.
Hey, Ace. Looks like
you have a secret admirer.
What did you say?
Don't open that!
[Fart]
[ Groans ]
[ Screaming ]
Ugh, that smell!
It's like a rotten limb
stirring a boiling
bucket of sheep shit!
Someone get a can
of tomato juice
and beat me to death
with it.
Some [gags] body [gags]
locked [gags] the door!
I don't even [gags]
have a nose [gags]
but I can totally [gags]
taste the stench.
[ Grunts ]
What in the fudge
was that?
I told you
not to open it, dumbass.
This is bad.
We are not safe here.
We should keep moving.
Gaz, what's wrong?
Looks like you've seen a ghost.
That package wasn't
for you, kid.
It was for me.
I know you're watching us.
Show yourself.
Yep, she's lost it.
Who ordered freshly steamed --
Ahh!
Dear lord,
what is that smell?!
♪♪
I was just a rookie in Aboo Buvu
when we first met.
I had a breakout season,
and a man, a super fan,
he began to take
an interest in me.
His name was Deeter,
and he came to every game.
He brought me flowers,
showered me with gifts.
He bought champagne
at the team bar after games,
but he started showing up at
my house and calling all hours.
The more I avoided him,
the more Deeter pursued me.
Finally, some of the older
Boom Boom Boys stood up for me.
Deeter may have gone
into that tank,
but whatever came out of it
was more smell than human.
What you experienced back
there was just a taste
of his
stink-bombing terrorism.
Hold the phone, sister.
Are you saying
it getsworsethan that?
He never stops.
That was
a sparrow's fart
compared to the hell
he's put me through.
Security got wise to his tricks,
and he disappeared,
but now he's back.
[ Breathing shakily ]
What are we going to do?
Our game is in two days,
and we need to practice
and learn all my new plays.
Screw the game, kid.
Let's forfeit
and hightail it out of here
and leave this stink-bomber
in the dust.
I wish we could, but this freaky
perv will keep following us.
We need a really smart plan.
I could dress up
like a pinup girl
and lure him under an overpass
with my feminine wiles,
and then drop 100 pianos
on his head.
If that doesn't work,
maybe we give peace a chance.
You guys, get some rest.
Lock your doors, take a bath,
and don't open anything.
I'll think of something.
♪♪
All clear.
Nothing to worry about.
Time to get some shut-eye.
[Fart]
Sacajawea!
♪♪
[ Grunting ]
[Fart]
[ Screams ]
[Fart]
[ Screams ]
[ Remote beeping ]
[Fart]
Awww.
I'll never feel safe again.
Look at our fearless
leader, Gaz Digzy,
a true hero who's willing
to stay up all night
to protect her team
from all enemies.
[ Tires screech ]
What the?
She's leaving town without us?
Come back! Gaz!
She's...gone.
[ Sobbing ]
This is officially the saddest
moment of your entire life.
[Fart]
[ Screams ]
I didn't sleep
a wink last night.
I feel like a chocolate cake
at fat-kid camp.
Try to look
on the bright side.
At least our best
player ditched us.
Come on, team.
Maybe with some luck, we can --
[ Door opens ]
Gaz?
Gaz! You came back!
With Stink Finger?
What's Creepo doing here?
Sometimes it takes
an explosion to put out a fire.
Gaz tells me you've
all found yourself
in a bit of a pickle,
a sour pickle, a pungent --
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it.
Speed it up.
Stink Finger has agreed
to help us with Deeter.
No one knows more
about the power of smell
than Stink Finger.
He's a stench master.
And by the time I'm done
with you weenies,
a dozen rotten eggs will smell
like a dozen red roses.
What in the fudge
is he talking about?
He's talking about
taking a stand.
Perverts like Deeter feed
on two things -- fear and power.
If his stink bombs
no longer affect us,
we steal all his power,
and maybe we get rid of that
smelly bastard once and for all.
So, for the next 48 hours,
Stink Finger is in charge.
Let the training begin!
[ Cackles ]
Blabber Ball: What -- what --
what do the Leptons
and Stink Finger
have in common?
They both stink,
but you knew that already,
unless you're
b-b-beyond stupid.
You won't believe your nose
when you get a whiff
of this n-n-news.
Just captured this
exclusive undercover footage
of the Ulsa Guerin
losers in cahoots
with the s-s-stink meister
himself.
W-w-why are they
subjecting themselves
to such olfactory a-agony?
Isn't their game play
offensive enough
without Stink Finger
puking it up?
Could it have something to do
with their upcoming match
against L-L-Lil' P
and his Pawful Pooch Posse?
It don't matter what
those little pups are up to.
I'm top dog, and when
they come to my house,
those little bitches
are going to get boned!
When you play with the big dogs,
you get bit!
Trust me, I know.
-Find out tomorrow,
when the L-Leptons face Pawful
Pooch Posse live, from Neerg!
[ Flies buzzing ]
Mm-hmm. Impressive.
Congratulations, Leptons.
You've become immune
to the foulness.
You've become one
with Malador.
My work here is done.
Pay me the other half.
[ Grunts ]
Let's go kick
some fleabag tail.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Boing! ]
[ All grunt ]
They don't look so tough.
Are you kidding me?
They look incredibly tough,
and we haven't slept
in like 72 hours.
Yeah, but united we stink.
They're packed too tight.
All we need to do is spread out
and flank them.
You guys stink.
[ Sniffs ]
You guys really do stink.
Dear lord,
I'm going to be sick.
[ Gags, vomits ]
[ Inhales deeply ]
He's here.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Be ready for anything
out of the ordinary.
Remember your training.
[ Air horn blows ]
[ All grunt ]
-Ha-ha!
-Whoa-oa-oa!
I know you're here,
Deter.
[ Laughter ]
Gaz, heads up!
Let's see how you like
a little hair of the dog!
Whee! [ Chuckles ]
Yeah!
[ All scream ]
[ Camera shutters clicking ]
[ Gasps ]
Focus on the game,
girls.
Don't let those
flashers bother you.
I'm trying, but they're
driving me insane!
Never fear.
Flip is here.
By tirelessly
seeking answers
to the ancient
Zancoans of Mahayana,
I pondered their
complex riddles,
obtaining a higher level
of enlightenment.
You know the sound of two palms
when they meet,
but I ask you, what is the sound
of no palms, no limbs even?
The sound of your demise.
Behold Umbilicus!
Ahh!
You are about to become sexless,
little man with no arms
and no legs and a giant green
glowing dong.
[ Groaning ]
What is that funky flavor?
Ballmastrz.
Ballmastrz.
They can't stand
our stink.
It's creating a gap
in their defense.
Gaz, make a break for it!
Ballmastrz.
Yeah! Oh!
Whoa!
-Got you!
Oh, Gaz. Gaz.
Ahh.
Oh, Gaz.
[ Laughs ]
Gaz, what are you doing,
you stupid cow?
Focus and fire!
Let's tear this
score hole a new one!
-[ Grunts ]
-There it is. Showtime, baby!
[Fart]
[ Whimpering and barking ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Screaming ]
Deeter: Gaz.
Oh, Gaz. Where are you?
It's your number-one fan.
Ah, there you are.
What?
It can't be.
That smell is unbearable,
my greatest work.
It's rancid, disgusting.
Why aren't you flinching?
The game's over, Deeter.
But I got you a little
something to remember me.
Huh? Huh.
Ow!
[ Whimpering ]
Smell you later, Deeter!
Mm-hmm.
[ Cackles ]
♪♪
Hmm.
♪♪
♪♪
We're here.
Now, now, just shut up and let
a legend catch a disco nap.
No one should be this excited
about being in Neerg.
This place sucks ass.
-I don't about that.
Last time I was here,
whoa, boy!
Let's just say, uh, me and
these blonde conjoined twins,
we had ourselves
a little, uh, uh-huh.
Okay, fine,
nothing happened,
but, you know,
tomorrow's another day.
And today is a day, too.
We have three days
of practice
to prepare for a game
we might actually win.
Calm down, spaz boy.
Carry my bag.
-[ Grunts ]
Can you believe
this kid?
Yeah! Lockers?
Free weights?
This place is like
a king's palace.
Look, a sauna.
Who wants to join me
while I steam my muscular buns?
Your loss.
Hey, Ace. Looks like
you have a secret admirer.
What did you say?
Don't open that!
[Fart]
[ Groans ]
[ Screaming ]
Ugh, that smell!
It's like a rotten limb
stirring a boiling
bucket of sheep shit!
Someone get a can
of tomato juice
and beat me to death
with it.
Some [gags] body [gags]
locked [gags] the door!
I don't even [gags]
have a nose [gags]
but I can totally [gags]
taste the stench.
[ Grunts ]
What in the fudge
was that?
I told you
not to open it, dumbass.
This is bad.
We are not safe here.
We should keep moving.
Gaz, what's wrong?
Looks like you've seen a ghost.
That package wasn't
for you, kid.
It was for me.
I know you're watching us.
Show yourself.
Yep, she's lost it.
Who ordered freshly steamed --
Ahh!
Dear lord,
what is that smell?!
♪♪
I was just a rookie in Aboo Buvu
when we first met.
I had a breakout season,
and a man, a super fan,
he began to take
an interest in me.
His name was Deeter,
and he came to every game.
He brought me flowers,
showered me with gifts.
He bought champagne
at the team bar after games,
but he started showing up at
my house and calling all hours.
The more I avoided him,
the more Deeter pursued me.
Finally, some of the older
Boom Boom Boys stood up for me.
Deeter may have gone
into that tank,
but whatever came out of it
was more smell than human.
What you experienced back
there was just a taste
of his
stink-bombing terrorism.
Hold the phone, sister.
Are you saying
it getsworsethan that?
He never stops.
That was
a sparrow's fart
compared to the hell
he's put me through.
Security got wise to his tricks,
and he disappeared,
but now he's back.
[ Breathing shakily ]
What are we going to do?
Our game is in two days,
and we need to practice
and learn all my new plays.
Screw the game, kid.
Let's forfeit
and hightail it out of here
and leave this stink-bomber
in the dust.
I wish we could, but this freaky
perv will keep following us.
We need a really smart plan.
I could dress up
like a pinup girl
and lure him under an overpass
with my feminine wiles,
and then drop 100 pianos
on his head.
If that doesn't work,
maybe we give peace a chance.
You guys, get some rest.
Lock your doors, take a bath,
and don't open anything.
I'll think of something.
♪♪
All clear.
Nothing to worry about.
Time to get some shut-eye.
[Fart]
Sacajawea!
♪♪
[ Grunting ]
[Fart]
[ Screams ]
[Fart]
[ Screams ]
[ Remote beeping ]
[Fart]
Awww.
I'll never feel safe again.
Look at our fearless
leader, Gaz Digzy,
a true hero who's willing
to stay up all night
to protect her team
from all enemies.
[ Tires screech ]
What the?
She's leaving town without us?
Come back! Gaz!
She's...gone.
[ Sobbing ]
This is officially the saddest
moment of your entire life.
[Fart]
[ Screams ]
I didn't sleep
a wink last night.
I feel like a chocolate cake
at fat-kid camp.
Try to look
on the bright side.
At least our best
player ditched us.
Come on, team.
Maybe with some luck, we can --
[ Door opens ]
Gaz?
Gaz! You came back!
With Stink Finger?
What's Creepo doing here?
Sometimes it takes
an explosion to put out a fire.
Gaz tells me you've
all found yourself
in a bit of a pickle,
a sour pickle, a pungent --
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it.
Speed it up.
Stink Finger has agreed
to help us with Deeter.
No one knows more
about the power of smell
than Stink Finger.
He's a stench master.
And by the time I'm done
with you weenies,
a dozen rotten eggs will smell
like a dozen red roses.
What in the fudge
is he talking about?
He's talking about
taking a stand.
Perverts like Deeter feed
on two things -- fear and power.
If his stink bombs
no longer affect us,
we steal all his power,
and maybe we get rid of that
smelly bastard once and for all.
So, for the next 48 hours,
Stink Finger is in charge.
Let the training begin!
[ Cackles ]
Blabber Ball: What -- what --
what do the Leptons
and Stink Finger
have in common?
They both stink,
but you knew that already,
unless you're
b-b-beyond stupid.
You won't believe your nose
when you get a whiff
of this n-n-news.
Just captured this
exclusive undercover footage
of the Ulsa Guerin
losers in cahoots
with the s-s-stink meister
himself.
W-w-why are they
subjecting themselves
to such olfactory a-agony?
Isn't their game play
offensive enough
without Stink Finger
puking it up?
Could it have something to do
with their upcoming match
against L-L-Lil' P
and his Pawful Pooch Posse?
It don't matter what
those little pups are up to.
I'm top dog, and when
they come to my house,
those little bitches
are going to get boned!
When you play with the big dogs,
you get bit!
Trust me, I know.
-Find out tomorrow,
when the L-Leptons face Pawful
Pooch Posse live, from Neerg!
[ Flies buzzing ]
Mm-hmm. Impressive.
Congratulations, Leptons.
You've become immune
to the foulness.
You've become one
with Malador.
My work here is done.
Pay me the other half.
[ Grunts ]
Let's go kick
some fleabag tail.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Boing! ]
[ All grunt ]
They don't look so tough.
Are you kidding me?
They look incredibly tough,
and we haven't slept
in like 72 hours.
Yeah, but united we stink.
They're packed too tight.
All we need to do is spread out
and flank them.
You guys stink.
[ Sniffs ]
You guys really do stink.
Dear lord,
I'm going to be sick.
[ Gags, vomits ]
[ Inhales deeply ]
He's here.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Be ready for anything
out of the ordinary.
Remember your training.
[ Air horn blows ]
[ All grunt ]
-Ha-ha!
-Whoa-oa-oa!
I know you're here,
Deter.
[ Laughter ]
Gaz, heads up!
Let's see how you like
a little hair of the dog!
Whee! [ Chuckles ]
Yeah!
[ All scream ]
[ Camera shutters clicking ]
[ Gasps ]
Focus on the game,
girls.
Don't let those
flashers bother you.
I'm trying, but they're
driving me insane!
Never fear.
Flip is here.
By tirelessly
seeking answers
to the ancient
Zancoans of Mahayana,
I pondered their
complex riddles,
obtaining a higher level
of enlightenment.
You know the sound of two palms
when they meet,
but I ask you, what is the sound
of no palms, no limbs even?
The sound of your demise.
Behold Umbilicus!
Ahh!
You are about to become sexless,
little man with no arms
and no legs and a giant green
glowing dong.
[ Groaning ]
What is that funky flavor?
Ballmastrz.
Ballmastrz.
They can't stand
our stink.
It's creating a gap
in their defense.
Gaz, make a break for it!
Ballmastrz.
Yeah! Oh!
Whoa!
-Got you!
Oh, Gaz. Gaz.
Ahh.
Oh, Gaz.
[ Laughs ]
Gaz, what are you doing,
you stupid cow?
Focus and fire!
Let's tear this
score hole a new one!
-[ Grunts ]
-There it is. Showtime, baby!
[Fart]
[ Whimpering and barking ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Screaming ]
Deeter: Gaz.
Oh, Gaz. Where are you?
It's your number-one fan.
Ah, there you are.
What?
It can't be.
That smell is unbearable,
my greatest work.
It's rancid, disgusting.
Why aren't you flinching?
The game's over, Deeter.
But I got you a little
something to remember me.
Huh? Huh.
Ow!
[ Whimpering ]
Smell you later, Deeter!
Mm-hmm.
[ Cackles ]
♪♪
Hmm.
♪♪
♪♪