Bajillion Dollar Propertie$ (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Farsi Lessons - full transcript

Baxter: We're meeting
a new client

this morning named Ricky.

He was paralyzed in a roller
coaster accident.

Andrew: So sad.
-Ricky: It's Ric-ky-y-y.

♪ R-I-C, K-Y ♪

Comin' at ya at 5 miles
per hour, motherfuckers.

Baxter: Oh. Oh, yeah.
-Andrew: Dude.

Ricky: Whoo-oo! Ooooooo!
-Baxter: Oh, whoa.

You okay?

Ricky: What's happening?
-Baxter: Nice.

Ricky: Yeah, I don't shake.
-Baxter: Nice. How are you?



Ricky: Just slap, man.
-Baxter: Us, neither, man.

Man, we're slap-men, too.
All right!

Andrew: And, by the way, uh,

just sorry about the --
the accident.

Ricky: Sorry?
-Andrew: You know,

I've never had an accident
like this or been paralyzed,

but I know if --

if it ever happened to me,
I'd probably kill myself.

Baxter: Yeah, we --
we have an agreement:

if it happens to him,
I'll kill him.

Ricky: You should be saying
congrats

on that accident, man.
I'm makin' mad bank here.

You know, I got a settlement.

What do you
think's buying this house?



I mean, I don't want to say
it's the best thing

that's happened -- no, this is
the best thing that's happened.

Baxter: Really?
-Ricky: Lots of cash.

I get lots of pity fucks.
[Laughter]

Baxter: Yeah.
-Ricky: But, yeah,

when I got into that accident,

it was crazy, you know. Have
y'all heard of West Coasters?

Baxter: Oh, yeah,
the theme park?

Ricky: Roller coaster park,
yeah, yeah.

♪ Roller coasters ♪
-All: ♪ All abound ♪

♪ Roller coasters
all abound ♪

Ricky: Yeah, I used to
work there.

Baxter: Oh, nice.
-Ricky: And I did this thing,

it was like sort of a tradition.

I would get close to the coaster

and I put out my hand for five.
You guys know I love fives.

Baxter: Yeah, dude.
-Andrew: Love fives.

Ricky: I got clipped.
-Baxter: Holy --

Ricky: Got clipped by one
of the roller coasters.

It took my spine
right out of my body.

Andrew: Took the bone right
but of the drumstick.

Ricky: Hrooooop!
-Andrew: Can you feel?

Ricky: Nope.
-Andrew: Feel anywhere?

Baxter: That's the thing. No.
-Ricky: No.

Baxter: You can't. Don't ask.
-Andrew: But even in the...?

I'm curious.
[Melancholy tune plays]

Ricky: When I got
into the accident, you know,

the doctors told me,
you know, that I wouldn't

be feelin' anything
below my waist --

Andrew: I'm sorry.
-Ricky: And, um,

I said, you know,

"Doctor, can I still
use my doink?"

Andrew: Yeah.
-Ricky: Said, "Just -- [gulp]

[tearfully] Just tell me
I can use my doink."

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

And I can use my doink.
-Andrew: Nice!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Glenn: In the beginning,
did all the brokers respect me?

No.

Chelsea: I don't like need

like a janitor or a wetnurse
or whatever you are, okay?

And I want you to get the fuck
out of my office.

Glenn: But now that I'm partner,

all the brokers
still don't respect me.

As your boss, I ask you --
-Victoria: Well, not my boss.

I mean, just a partner.
-Glenn: I'm a partner.

As your boss, I'm asking you
to get back to work.

Victoria: Okay,
and I am telling you

that I'm gonna get back to work
because I want to.

Glenn: I need Dean to tell me
what my actual job is.

Dean: Well, if there's one left,
that means they're not extinct.

Just get it done.

Glenn: Hi, Dean?
-Dean: Glenn, please, come in.

Glenn: Oh, Wonderful.
Okay.

Dean: How may I help you today?

Glenn: Well, Dean, um, I was
wondering if we could talk

about what my promotion means.
-Dean: Hmm.

Glenn: As one
of the fellow brokers,

now I know I list properties,
I try to close on them

as quickly as possible,
for the highest asking price.

Dean: That's right.

Glenn: But, specifically,
as partner, as your partner,

I was wondering
what that entails.

[Whimsical tune plays]
Dean: Well, that would entail,

uh, uh,

listing properties, as you said,

and then, um, uh,

closing the sale

at the highest possible price.

That clear it up for you?
-Glenn: Right, right.

But I'm having trouble.

How do I manifest my power?

Dean: Glenn, that's a very
serious question.

Glenn: Yes.
-Dean: This is a question

powerful men all must
ask themselves at some point.

"How do I manifest my power?"
-Glenn: Yes.

Dean: Have you figured it out?
[Eerie music plays]

Glenn: I have assumptions.
-Dean: Mmm.

Share with me your assumptions.

Glenn: I want to crush
smaller people.

Dean: This is a good start.
-Glenn: Good?

Dean: Yes.
-Glenn: So can I demote someone,

can I fire someone?

Can I move their offices?
-Dean: Not as such.

Glenn: Can I dress someone?
-Dean: You mean put them

in clothing?
-Glenn: Yes.

Dean: Tell them what to wear?
-Glenn: Yes.

Dean: Physically
put the clothing on them?

Glenn: I don't know.
If they can't do that themselves

or if they refuse,
then, yeah, maybe.

Dean: I think that we get
into a human resources issue

where that's not a good idea.

Glenn: Can I then fire
the human resources person,

if they side against me?

Dean: Ooh, even I can't do that.
-Glenn: What?

Dean: This is -- that's tricky.
-Glenn: Really?

Dean: To fire
human resources people,

it's a human resources
nightmare.

Glenn: Right.
But how do I exert the new power

that I have
over my subordinates?

Dean: You're already doing it!
-Glenn: How?

Dean: You don't even realize
how you're doing it.

Glenn: No, I -- tell me.

Dean: Well, that's part
of the magic of being a partner.

Glenn: I want to understand
the magic.

Dean: In the days
of King Arthur --

Glenn: Yes.
-Dean: When

a man would become a knight.
-Glenn: Yes.

Dean: Well,
he had to slay a dragon.

Glenn: Yeah.
-Dean: He had to exemplify

great valor
in the field of battle.

Glenn: Yes.
-Dean: Things like that.

You see what I'm saying?
-Glenn: No.

Dean: What's the modern-day
equivalent of a dragon?

Glenn: You mean the most
difficult thing to slay?

Dean: Let's say that.
-Glenn: Tall women?

Dean: Let's not talk
about murdering women.

Glenn: No,
I meant sexual conquest.

Dean: Are you under
the impression that

the ancient knights were
having sex with these dragons?

Glenn: After they slayed them?
Yes.

Dean: That's not part
of the Arthurian legend,

as I understand it.
-Glenn: Well, there are

many different takes on it.
-Dean: Glenn,

I couldn't be happier
that you're a partner

and you are adjusting very well

to all of your myriad
responsibilities.

Glenn: Okay, well,
give me more responsibilities

as partner.
-Dean: Mmm.

I'm glad you said that.
-Glenn: Wonderful.

Dean: Here's something
you can do for me.

Glenn: Great.
-Dean: And only a partner

can do this.
-Glenn: Really?

Dean: There are pigeons
that are roosting

just below the balcony here,
making an awful racket.

So if you could shoo them away.

Glenn: And that's something that
you won't let other brokers do?

Dean: Oh, heavens no.
-Glenn: Only a partner

can do it?
-Dean: Only Glenn.

Glenn: Dean, they shall rue
the day the cooed behind you.

Dean: There he goes.

Get me an outside line.

Yes, I'm sorry.

Here's the thing.

In order for it
to be stuffed and mounted

and properly displayed,
it has to have

just a ferocious look
on its face.

♪♪

Man: Eh, okay,
I have one Number 3

with extra pickle.
-Victoria: Thank you.

You look like you speak Farsi.
-Man: Yeah, I do.

Victoria: Of course you do;
look at you.

Middle Eastern clients are
a huge part of L.A. real estate,

so, I've been using a language
app to teach myself Farsi.

I would love to try out
some of the stuff

I've learned on you.
Do you mind?

[Whimsical tune plays]
Man: No, not at all.

Victoria: Once I'm fluent,
I'll be unstoppable.

and a lock to win Best Broker
at the Diamond Dealmakers.

Amir: Victoria
thinks she downloaded

Rosetta Stone's
Farsi language lessons,

but what she actually downloaded
is Amir Yaghoob's

Screw You, Victoria,
Farsi language lessons.

[ Laughs ]

Mm.

Man: You know I'm just
a delivery guy, right?

Victoria: Right.

[ Victoria chuckles ]

Okay.

[Laughs]
[Whimsical tune concludes]

♪♪

Baxter: Despite his accident,

we actually have a lot
in common with Ricky.

Andrew: Turns out
that bros in wheelchairs

can be just as cool
as regular bros.

You're effin' rad. I love this.
-Ricky: You guys are effin' rad.

Baxter: Yeah,
you're pretty sick, dude.

This house is for you.
6 bedrooms, 8,000 square feet.

Andrew: 8,000 squaresies.
-Ricky: Now, I just want

to make sure,
whatever you show me, guys,

[Whimsical tune plays]
opens the legs.

Andrew: For pussy?
-Ricky: Pussy.

You know what's
in between these things?

Andrew: Either a dick or --
-Ricky: Puss -- yeah, well.

Baxter: Either a dick
or a pussy.

Ricky: Either a dick or a puss.

I like pussy.
-Baxter: Pussy, all right.

Andrew:
"I'll pass on the dick."

Ricky: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Andrew: That's you.

Ricky: I got a buffet table
in front of me, it's like

"Yeah, dick, dick, dick.

Oh, pussy? Okay, sure."
[laughs]

Baxter: Yeah.

Well, this is the house for you.
-Andrew: Yeah.

♪♪

Ricky: Let's check out
this pussy palace, huh?

Baxter: Yeah, pussy!
-Ricky: And I am the king.

Baxter: Make way
for the pussy king.

Ricky: Make way
for King Pussy-y-y.

[Laughter]
Baxter: Whoo!

[ Ricky continues laughing ]

♪♪

Victoria: They say immersion
is the way to go

when learning a new language.

Finally, I have a real,
live Farsi-speaking client,

and I'm going to blow his mind.

So over here,
we have the back garden.

Which is quite cozy,
but private --

which is what you're
looking for, right?

Man: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah.

Victoria: I would say
it's a very nice bog.

Man: Bog?
-Victoria: Yeah.

Man: Garden.

Victoria: Right.
-Man: Farsi, oh.

Victoria: I speak
a little, yeah.

Man: Hmm. We can just
speak English; it's fine.

Victoria: No! Why?
Let's speak our language.

Man: Do you really
know how to speak Farsi?

Victoria: Do you know how
to speak Farsi?

[Ominous chord strikes]
Give me a minute!

[ Laughs ]

Man: What do you think
you're saying?

Victoria: "The school district
here is very desirable."

Man: That's not
what you're saying.

Victoria: Shit!
-Man: Mm-hmm.

Where are you learning
your Farsi?

Victoria: It's Rosetta Stone.
Here, listen.

[ Amir speaking Farsi ]

Victoria: Right?
-Man: Kinda dirty.

Victoria: This isn't
Rosetta Stone?

Man: Lotta cussing.
-Victoria: What?

Victoria: Amir.
-Man: Amir?

Man: Who's Amir?

♪♪

Baxter: We've been showing
our client, Ricky, this house,

and it seems
like he has a one-track mind.

Andrew: Yeah, I mean,
I love talking about pussy,

but even I think
this is too much.

Baxter: So you could really
do anything with this room.

Ricky: Yeah.
-Baxter: This couch,

you know, can come with it.

Ricky: Yeah, I could come
with it, too.

Just a play on words.
-Baxter: Yeah.

Ricky: This wall over here,
is it a loadbearing wall?

And by load, I mean

my load.

Baxter: Can you...?
-Ricky: Can it bear my load?

[Laughs]
-Baxter: Can you come

on the wall?

Ricky: Yeah, that's I guess
what I'm saying.

Andrew: If you wanted to, yes.
-Baxter: Yeah, of course.

Andrew: You could come
on the wall.

You can come
on any of these walls.

Ricky: Righteous.
That's good.

And this is zoned for poon?

Baxter: I don't think
that's a thing.

Andrew: You know what?

It's zoned for poon.

Baxter:
Yeah, it's zoned for poon.

Ricky: Yeah! All right.

I know this is kind of
a weird question,

but, um, it's kind of hard
for me to get up onto the couch.

Andrew: Yeah.
-Baxter: Oh, yeah.

Ricky: And I just sort
of want to road test it.

Baxter: You want us to put you
on the couch? Yeah.

Ricky: Could you, man?
-Baxter: Sure.

Andrew: Yeah.
-Baxter: Oh, yeah, no problem.

Ricky: I'll tell ya:
if I like this couch,

I'm takin' this place.
-Baxter: Really?

Andrew: Hey, you're gonna
like the couch.

Baxter: Let's get you on it.
-Ricky: Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. A little top-heavy,
here, boys.

Andrew: Let's get him up.
-Baxter: No problem.

Ricky: Ah.
-Andrew: How's that feel?

Ricky: Well, uh.

You imagine
me doing it this style?

Baxter: Oh, you want to pretend
like you're having sex?

Ricky: I just --
I can imagine me being here,

Bergeron being there.

Baxter: Oh!
-Andrew: Tom Bergeron?

Ricky: We're buddies.
-Andrew: Oh, cool.

This little lady wants
to see how you'd feel.

Ricky: Oh, yeah. Make this
-Andrew: So spread those legs.

Ricky: a little lady.
These are the legs,

[Sultry music plays]
so I guess they'd kind of be

wrapped around me like that.
-Andrew: Yeah.

Ricky: Bro?
-Andrew: Yeah.

Ricky: Can you lift my butt
up and down?

[Ominous chord strikes]
[Sultry music continues]

Andrew: Yes, I can.

Ricky: Bergeron
would do it for me.

Andrew: Well, so will
your buddy Andrew.

Baxter: Do you want me
to be Bergeron?

Andrew: There you go.
-Ricky: Yeah. Ah, dude,

I go five pumps, at least.
-Baxter: Let's hurry up;

Ricky: Minimum.
-Baxter: I gotta go back

to the taping of
"Dancing with the Stars."

Ricky: 2, 3, 4.

Hey, where'd that burrito go?

Andrew: You're gonna eat
while we're...?

Ricky: Can you guys be quiet?!

Do you think,
when I'm havin' sex,

you guys are gonna be talkin'?

I'm likin' this.
I could see this.

Andrew: You know, I don't know
if it'd matter to you,

but it's also a really
great school district.

Ricky: Usually, I eat
a burrito when I'm done.

And then, I usually got
some music playing.

Can you give me
some sort of beat?

[Baxter beatboxes]
-Ricky: Mm-hmm.

[ Andrew joins in ]

Ricky: Now, because of my
condition, it usually takes

about four hours
[Eerie music plays]

for me to get the job done, so.
[Ominous chord strikes]

Andrew: You said
five pumps, earlier.

Ricky: Minimum!
Another bite.

Baxter: Okay.

Ricky: Oh, yeah.

Oh!

Guys, I am genuinely blessed.

Thank you, Sidewinder!

Baxter: Whoo!
-Ricky: Thank you

for making my dreams come true,

of eating a burrito
and humpin' two pillows

that are standing in
for a woman's legs.

Andrew: Are you close?

Ricky: I. am.

not. close!

King Pussy!

Andrew: [dully] King Pussy.
Baxter: King Pussy!

Ricky: Mm.

Mm.

♪♪

Glenn: Unfortunately,
my talk with Dean made me

even more confused about the
partnership than I already was.

But I can't focus on
that right now

because I'm about to show
my first house in Beverly Hills.

♪♪

[ Sinister music plays ]

Serge: Hi!
-Glenn: Hi.

Serge: Hi. How's it going?
-Glenn: Hi.

I'm Glenn.
-Serge: Oh, we know.

Gio: Hi.
-Glenn: Hi, nice to meet you.

Serge: We're not Realtors.
-Glenn: No?

Serge: No.
-Glenn: Oh, great.

Gio: We're here
at your open house because

we're a couple of gay guys.
-Serge: Couple of gays guys,

just looking around.
-Glenn: Are you gay guys

that are a couple?
-Serge: Yeah.

Glenn: So you sleep together?
-Serge: That's right.

Gio: Yeah, that's right.
-Glenn: Oh, okay.

Serge: You can do that now.
-Glenn: So who's on the second

floor, if you know what I mean?
-Gio: I don't.

Glenn: Who's -- who's on top?
-Gio: Of the house?

Glenn: Yeah.
-Serge: Santa.

Tell us about
Dean Rosedragon, huh?

Glenn: Oh, well,
Dean's my mentor.

Serge: We don't know.
-Gio: Yeah, we don't know

anything about him.
-Serge: We don't know him.

Gio: Let us tell you a story
about Dean.

Serge: [whispering]
We can tell you about him.

Glenn: I thought
you didn't know Dean.

Serge: Oh, we know him.
-Gio: No, this is a charade.

We are not a couple of gay guys.
-Glenn: Charade? [shuh-raid]

Serge: We're not a couple
of gay guys looking for a house.

Glenn: Oh, no, you guys are gay.
Look at your jackets

and your tie.

And you probably paid
too much for this.

It's a little...

ostentatious, so.

[Sinister music plays]
Which is nice, you know,

if you're gay.
-Serge: It's all a charade.

Gio: We're playacting,
a charade.

Now we pull the wool
from out of your eyes.

We are actually
in the real estate business.

Glenn: Oh.
-Serge: You know us.

Glenn: I know you;
you're flamboyant gay men.

Serge: Okay,
but we also happen to own

a company called Infinity.

Let us tell you
how we know Dean.

He will not tell you
the truth, boy.

The man you know
as Dean Rosedragon --

Glenn: Yes, my mentor.
-Serge: Was our partner.

[Eerie music plays]
Gio: Our friend.

Serge: We drank blood together.
-Glenn: Oh, my God.

Gio: We were trippin' balls.
We make a blood pact.

Serge: We make a blood pact.
-Gio: That the three of us

would form an empire,
a real estate empire.

And the last one alive would
inherit the whole shebang.

Serge: Do you know
what is blood pact?

Glenn: You -- you drink
each other's blood.

Serge: Yes.
-Gio: Yes.

Glenn: Ohhhhh.
-Gio: He was our partner

and he betrayed us.
-Serge: Betrayed us.

Glenn: Oh,
Dean wouldn't do that.

[ Laughter ]

Serge: Dean
would not do that, huh?

Glenn: No, he would not.
-Serge: Dean Rosedragon

would not betray someone?
Ha ha.

Look here, my friend.
-Glenn: Oh, my God.

Serge: Just hold it.
-Gio: Take this.

Serge: Hold the gun.
-Glenn: I don't want --

Serge: Just hold it.
-Glenn: Okay.

Serge: Feel it.
How does it feel?

Glenn: It's heavy.
-Serge: How do it make you feel?

Glenn: Scared.
-Serge: But emotionally,

how does that feel?
-Glenn: Strong.

Serge: Strong, powerful.

[ Laconic tune plays ]

Now your prints are
on there, yeah?

You understand that?
-Glenn: Yeah, I just held it.

Serge: That's our gift for you
and it already has

your fingerprints;
that's crazy.

Gio: That's crazy. That's crazy,
that that gun has --

Serge: What if something
happened to Dean?

What if something happened?
It would so easy: boom.

It would just be so easy!

Gio: The great thing
about killing Dean is

you don't even have to do it

because the fingerprints
are already on the gun.

Glenn: Well,
I'm not going to do it,

so why don't you guys
keep the gun,

'cause my prints are on it.

Serge: Okay, your prints
are on it, so whether you do it

or don't do it,
it look like you do it.

Gio: You kill Dean
or we kill you.

Glenn: Oh, I'm not going to
kill Dean.

[Suspenseful music climbs]
Gio: Then we kill you.

Glenn: Wow, you -- no,
I would like to not be killed.

Serge: You know what's amazing
about the Komodo dragon?

It's not poisonous.
-Glenn: What?

Serge: It's the infection.
-Gio: The teeth are dirty.

Serge: The teeth are --

He no floss.

He don't floss his teeth.
[Eerie music plays]

Glenn: Okay.
-Serge: So he bite you, you die.

But it's not poison.
You see what I'm saying?

Glenn: I really do not.
-Gio: Three takeaways.

Three takeaways.
-Serge: Three takeaways.

Gio: Dean? Evil, no good.
-Serge: Yeah.

Gio: You kill him.
-Serge: You kill him.

Gio: Komodo dragon,
not poisonous.

Serge: Not poisonous,
just will kill you, hmm?

[Ominous chord strikes]
What are you gonna do?

Glenn: Gonna sell this house
to you, nice gay couple.

Serge: You kill Dean Rosedragon,
or we kill you, hmm?

[ Glass breaks ]

[Sinister music plays]
Hmm?

[ Crunch, spits ]

Gio: I tell him not to do that.

Now we gotta go get stitches.
-Serge: I gotta get stitches.

[ Ominous chord strikes ]

Gio: Stay out of Beverly Hills.

Glenn: Who were those guys?!

Why are they asking me
to kill for them?!

And are they gay, or not?!

♪♪

Andrew: We were at that couch

until Ricky finished
his burrito.

Baxter: We have to close
this sale, now.

Andrew: Look at that sunlight
coming through.

Ricky: Beautiful.

It's like a painting.
-Andrew: Yeah.

Ricky: It's like a beautiful
painting I just wanna jizz on.

Andrew: That's sort of true.
-Ricky: Yeah.

Baxter: Pretty grand
entryway here.

Ricky: Yeah! Kind of looks
like a uterus, huh?

Baxter: What?
-Ricky: Right?

You got the two ovaries here,
-Andrew: No.

Ricky: Sort of a --
-Andrew: It's a staircase.

Baxter: Yeah.
Any other questions about it?

Ricky: Well, guys, you know,
-Andrew: Stairway.

Ricky: as long
as this place can hold

shitloads of dank

and p-p-p-p-p-p-puss --
-Baxter: Stop it.

Andrew: Stop it, man.
Hey, listen --

Ricky: If I could find
a nug of weed

that looked like a vagina,
-Andrew: Stop!

Ricky: that'd be my dream.
-Andrew: It's all of our dreams,

but stop it
for one second, please!

Can I talk to you
for one second?

[Eerie music plays]
Ricky: What?

Baxter:
Quit with the pussy stuff.

Andrew: Just for a little bit.

Ricky: Bros, come on.

When we met out there,
we bro-bonded.

Andrew: And that's why
I'm saying this to you,

'cause I think you deserve more.
I think you deserve a house

[Poignant tune plays]
where you can have a life

and not just pussy,
not just gettin' high.

You know what's in here?
-Ricky: Hmm?

Andrew: A heart.

You know what fills up
a heart?

'Cause it's not pussy
and it's not weed

and it's not burritos.

Ricky: Blood?

Baxter: Yeah,
but you know what fills up

a metaphorical heart, like?
-Ricky: Love.

Andrew: [whispering] Thank you.
-Ricky: But, I mean,

look at you guys,
you got cool suit coats.

I'm never gonna find a --

a Queen Pussy.

Andrew: Do me a favor.

Imagine,
coming through those doors,

is the love of your life.
-Ricky: Samantha.

Baxter: Samantha?
-Andrew: Samantha.

Baxter: Perfect.

Ricky: I don't know a girl
named Samantha,

but I always imagined my bride
to have the name Samantha.

Baxter: Yeah, this is her.

Andrew: Honey, it's me,

Sam-antha. I'm home.
I brought all our tacos

and burritos.
-[Ricky gasps]

Andrew: Extra cheese
and extra guac.

Ricky: [whispering]
She knows what I like!

Andrew: I brought a couple
of Js for us to smoke.

Ricky: She's a dream woman.
-Andrew: I love you.

Can I give you a massage
in the bedroom,

maybe take off your pants

and massage
your dead legs, too?

Ricky: You know
that I call them dead legs.

Andrew: [whispering]
Everybody calls them dead legs.

Ricky: Cool.
-Andrew: I love you.

Ricky: I love you,
too, Samantha.

Andrew: Remember that,
because you can have all that.

Ricky: You guys are right.
There's been a hole in my life.

[Poignant tune continues]
[crying] I just want love.

Andrew: You can have love,

and it starts by loving yourself

and giving yourself
a home like this,

where you can respect yourself
on a daily basis.

Baxter: This home is part
of the deal.

Ricky: I-I--

[hoarsely] I'm --

I'm a virgin.

Andrew: Hey.

Chin up.

Dick hard.

You'll get there.

Ricky: Yeah.

Yeah, you know what?

King Pussy's dead!
-Baxter: Yeah.

Ricky: King Heart lives on!

Baxter: Yeah!
-Andrew: Viva King Heart!

Baxter: King Heart!
-Ricky: I'm gonna take it!

Baxter: Yeah!
-Ricky: Gonna take this house!

Andrew: Yeah-eah-eah!
-Ricky: Whoo-oo-oo-oo-oo!

[Poignant tune continues]
Hoo! Hoo! [laughs]

Ah! Ah! Ooh! Ooh!

[ Poignant tune continues ]

Andrew: I guess Ricky was faking
everything the whole time?

Baxter: He didn't fake
everything.

He came on that couch.
-Andrew: Oh, yeah.

♪♪

Victoria: Oh, Amir?
-Amir: Yeah.

[ Whimsical tune plays ]

Victoria: Thank you so much
for teaching me Farsi.

[Ominous chord strikes]
-Amir: Okay.

Victoria: So helpful.
-[Amir laughs]

Victoria: [chuckle] Very funny.
-Amir: Hey. Well.

Victoria: It was good.

Amir: When you mess
with Yaghoob, you don't win.

Victoria: Okay, well,
some would argue that I did.

You know, if they checked out
your website.

[ Upbeat tune plays ]

Amir: No. No, no.

No. No. No.

No. This is not good.

Glenn: Uh, Amir, you're getting
a lot of calls right now.

It's in another language,
so I don't get it,

but it's something
about a strange cock,

some bitch tits, stolen farts.
-Victoria: Right.

[ Ominous chord strikes ]

Victoria: Sorry.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Engine hums, clatter ]

♪♪