Bajillion Dollar Propertie$ (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Episode #1.8 - full transcript
♪♪
Andrew: The day we have all been
waiting for
has finally arrived.
Dean: In eight weeks time,
I'm going to take on...
a partner here at Platinum.
Victoria: [ Sighs ]
It's me.
Amir Yaghoob
will be your next partner.
Chelsea: Glenn has, again,
called one
of his morning meetings.
I swear, this is the first thing
I'm getting rid of
when I'm partner.
Glenn: This algorithm in place
right here
is going to determine
who becomes partner
by the end of the day.
Andrew: How?
Chelsea: What?!
Victoria:
Since when does Glenn
have anything to do
with who makes partner?
How? How are you
figuring this out?
Glenn:
Sales overall, obviously,
is one of the biggest
determining factors
in this chart.
Bit then there's also
other intangibles,
things that make
a broker truly great.
It's not just sales.
It's intangibles.
Baxter: Ooh, thank God.
Andrew: Yeah.
Our sales are not great.
How do you close on a Friday?
Do you finish the week off well?
On a Tuesday around
10:00 a.m.
Are you approaching your clients
in a specific way?
Amir: Glenn can make up
any rules he wants
as long as I win.
Baxter: Could you tell us
some other factors?
Andrew: What are
the other factors?!
Amir: You don't have
to tell anyone anything!
Andrew: No!
Amir, you shut up!
Amir: We have trust in him!
I have trust in you, bro.
Chelsea: No, no, you are such
a piece of shit right now.
Andrew:
You, by mistake, landed --
Chelsea:
Don't yell in my ear!
You sound like a bullhorn.
Andrew: You're putting
your ear in my mouth!
Chelsea: You sound like a mascot
at a shitty football game!
Baxter:
Why don't you back off?
Why don't you back off?!
Andrew: Well, you're
the shitty football game, then!
Chelsea: I'm done playing
cool Chelsea.
It's time to debut
dick-punching Chelsea.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is concrete sales, huh?
Like Kermit the frog
just running around here?
Glenn: Don't -- Don't touch the
board. Don't touch the board.
Chelsea: Oh,
does this bother you?
Does this bother you?
What?
Amir: Oh, Chelsea
thinks she's running shit now?
Nope! Not today!
You want to play with me?!
Chelsea: I do!
Amir:
You want to play with me?
Chelsea:
I'm taller than you!
Amir: Stop it!
Baxter: Stop!
Amir: Hold me back.
Chelsea: Why are you hiding
behind a man of similar size?
Amir: Hold me back.
Help!
Baxter: Hey!
Amir: Is this what you wanted?
Victoria:
This is real good, guys.
Chelsea: Happy birthday,
motherfucker.
Baxter:
Is it your birthday?
Amir: It is my birthday,
and I hope that was put
into consideration.
Baxter:
♪ ...birthday... ♪
Together: ♪ ...to you ♪
Chelsea: Fuck.
All:
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear Amir ♪
Chelsea:
Amir? I'm sorry.
♪♪
Victoria: Once they got it
out of their system,
we all calmed down.
So now Glenn
can explain his stupid board!
God, he's an idiot!
Glenn: Do you want
an explanation of the chart?
Victoria:
I would love one.
Glenn: Or do you want to keep
dipping your dick in applesauce?
Andrew: What?
Chelsea: Where are you from?
Baxter: Would that be good?
Glenn: Cold.
Well, that's not good.
That's cold. Warm.
Now we're getting
a little warmer
because it's not cold anymore.
$3 million.
$3 million.
That's great.
Chelsea: That's dollars?
Glenn: Oh, we're moving up.
We're heating up.
We're heating up,
and we're heating up
more than $3 million.
Oops, I made even more sales
than I did
when I was heating up.
Andrew: Oops?
Glenn: 6:00 p.m.
This actually only tracks sales
at 6:00 p.m. exactly.
What don't you understand
about going from heating up
to "oops, dollar sign"?
Just like to remind everybody
that you got
this day left to sell.
This day is the only day
that you have left
to climb the board.
Amir: I don't need another day
to climb the board.
I'm already on top pissing
on everyone as they climb.
I'm all like "pssss"!
And they're all like, "Oh!
Oh, there's piss in my eyes!"
Chelsea: Yeah,
I'm at the bottom,
but I got all day
to change that.
Baxter: We only have
until 4:00 p.m.
to prove to Dean that we're
worthy of the promotion.
Andrew:
It's not a lot of time.
Victoria:
They should all quit.
The partnership will be mine.
[ Growling ] Mine!
♪♪
Chelsea: I'm heading
to Toluca Lake
to negotiate with a broker
I've never worked with before
because my client
wants to make an offer
on a house he represents!
♪ Chelsea is moving
on up on Glenn's board ♪
Gio.
Gio: How do you do?
Chelsea: Great to meet you.
Chelsea.
Gio: Great to meet you, too.
It's beautiful, huh, huh?
Chelsea: Beautiful.
Gio: Beautiful neighborhood.
You know, Beverly Hills
of the Valley is what they say.
Chelsea: They do say that.
Gio: It's what they say.
So...
Chelsea: I have good news
for you.
Chelsea: I have a wonderful
offer from my client.
Gio: Mm.
Chelsea: She'd like to do,
for this property...
Gio: Okay.
Chelsea:
...6.5, 30-day escrow.
Gio: [ Inhales sharply ] Ooh.
Chelsea: All cash, huh?
Gio: Ooh, ooh. Okay, okay.
I like the cash.
Chelsea: Yeah?
I'm about to seal this deal,
and in walks
some greasy blue Popsicle.
Gio:
Ah, 6.9 you say?
Chelsea: $6.5.
Gio: $6.5 you say.
6.5. Oh, hey.
I don't know you.
Man: Hi.
I don't know you, my friend.
Gio: Hi.
Man: How do you do?
Chelsea: Hi.
Man: How do you do?
Gio: She's another broker.
Chelsea: Why?
Man: How do you do?
Huh?
I don't want to bug you.
You're making a deal.
Gio: We make a deal.
Man: I got a client.
Uh, I'm a broker myself,
and this place is, uh --
Gio: Okay, whatever --
whatever your client say,
she just offered, uh, 7.8?
Chelsea: 6.5.
Gio: 6.5 she say.
I'd love to just deal with --
Man: I don't want to bug your
deal. Go ahead, go ahead.
Chelsea: Thank you.
Man: Okay, Chris Brown.
I'll call you back.
Gio: Chris Brown?
Man: I will call you back, okay,
when I've seen the whole place.
But the pool alone
seems to be worth 7.2.
Gio: Chris Brown?
Chelsea: He doesn't know
Chris Brown.
Gio: Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Man: What did she say she'd do?
She said she'd do 8.8?
Chelsea: 6.5.
Gio: She said 8.8.
Man: Close.
You should close with her,
because Chris is gonna be crazy.
He'd be mad at me.
Gio:
We should close at 8.8.
Man: He's probably
going to hit me, you know?
Chelsea: And then it hits me.
This is Serge and Gio, isn't it?
Gio: You tell Chris Brown --
Man: It's already sold?
Gio:
It's sold for 7.4.
Chelsea: 6.5.
Man: This house for 7.4?
Chelsea: 6.5.
Gio: Which is good.
Chelsea: Always 6.5.
Man: You just put the wool
on this one, huh?
Chelsea: Nope.
Gio: Yeah, you did a fast one.
Chelsea: What?
Man: Hey.
Chelsea: Can you --
do you need me to bend down?
Man: Yeah.
Congratulations.
Chelsea: Thank you.
Man: Congratulations.
Gio: You tell Chris Brown...
Chelsea: Damn it.
Gio: ....he too slow.
Man: Oh, I just got a text
from him.
He would go 8.
Gio: Oh.
Chelsea: Can I see it?
Man: Oh, the service wiped it.
But he would go 8.
Gio: He would go 8,
so maybe if we go 9.2?
Chelsea: What, 9.2?
Gio: Maybe we go 9.2,
scare him away.
Chelsea: You've lost your mind.
Man: I think
you would lose Chris.
I'll tell you right now,
Chris --
Hang on, let me hit him.
Ready?
Call my good friend
Chris Brown.
Gio: Oh,
he's calling Chris Brown.
That's exciting.
Siri: I don't see Chris Brown
in your contacts.
Perhaps you meant one
of these nine?
[ Double beep ]
Gio: 6.5?
Chelsea: 6.5.
Gio: Cash.
Okay.
Chelsea: Yeah.
Gio: I never met that guy.
Chelsea: All right.
Gio:
I never met that guy.
Chelsea:
I don't believe you.
Gio: I never met you!
♪♪
Both: ♪ We're gonna, we're
gonna, we're gonna get it ♪
Baxter:
♪ The partnership ♪
Both:
♪ He's got to choose us ♪
Ow!
Andrew:
♪ We're the obvious choice ♪
♪ when you line us all up
with the others ♪
Baxter: ♪ Yeah ♪
We're on our way to meet
our client Neville Tipton.
Andrew: We're gonna show him
a gorgeous new Malibu house
that just hit the market.
Uh, do you like a room
with a view?
Neville:
Uh, what? Oh. Wow.
Andrew: Oh, yeah.
Neville: Wow.
Baxter:
'Cause you're in one.
Neville: [ Laughs ] That's
why you're buying this.
Both: Yeah.
Neville: I'm seeing lots of
wonderful windows and views out.
I'm just curious
where the button might be
to make the steel casings
come down.
Baxter: Oh,
you mean like shades?
Neville: Yeah, shades,
protection.
You know, like a metal casing.
Andrew: I don't think
this house has --
Baxter: No, this house
definitely doesn't have steel,
Neville: Okay, that's gonna
be a red flag for me.
Just so you guys know,
it's a red flag.
Baxter:
Well, this is very safe.
It's actually a private
gated neighborhood.
Andrew: It's pretty secluded.
Neville: I hear you,
but they're gonna pass,
what, every hour?
So that gives him a nice window
to say, "Whoo-hoosh, he's gone."
He ascends this thing, comes in,
and they're gonna
know I'm alone instantly
'cause I only sleep on one side
and I keep the other side
tucked in
just to remember
the loss of my wife.
Andrew: Hey, Neville,
unless it's a weekend
or something, right,
and you have some chick over
that you're gonna plow
all weekend?
Neville: I just said I keep
one side of the bed
tucked in for the memory
of my wife,
so most likely
I wouldn't just go right to,
"Oh, are you dating?"
Andrew: Okay,
next time I'll know.
Dead wives are a tricky subject.
Neville: Where's my panic room
is what I'm gonna ask,
'cause every house
has a panic room.
Andrew: Right.
Baxter: No, not...
Andrew: Like I always say,
every room can be a panic room.
Neville: This house
doesn't have a panic room?
Are you serious?
Guys, why don't you --
Baxter: Neville,
but we can get one.
Neville: Why don't you
sell me the outdoors?
Just put me in the middle
of the yard
so I can get raped immediately.
Andrew: Neville sure talks
about rape a lot.
Baxter: Yes, he does.
Andrew: A lot.
♪♪
Amir: I'm gonna
say this in a good way.
You guys are probably
my hardest clients
that I've had this year.
Man: Oh, yeah?
Amir: You know what you want.
I like that.
I don't like that.
I need this couple
to make me a platinum-size sale
so that I can seal
the partnership!
Look, it's our sixth house.
I'm willing to go to 15 houses,
20, 100, I don't care.
But I think this is the one.
Man: I do kind of --
look at those doors.
Honey, you'd fit
like two methylene vats
through that at a time.
Woman: Yeah,
but there's so much glass,
if someone wanted to ram in,
they could do it really easily.
Man: You always
mention the glass.
Those are things we can change.
Board up all the windows,
put an extra gate across there.
Have all the Dobermans
back here.
Woman: I know,
but I also kind of
feel like there's no coverage,
there's no trees.
Amir: All right,
I guess you want something
with a little more privacy.
Woman: Yes.
Amir: Less ostentatious.
Man:
I know this doesn't exist,
but if there was "Predator"
technology for a house...
Amir: You want technology
from the movie "Predator"?
Man: No, I'm saying --
Woman: What can you do
without "Predator" technology?
The closest to that,
that's what we want.
Amir: I don't have access
to "Predator" technology.
Man: We need a kitchen vent
in every room.
But that's easy.
Amir: In every room
you need a kitchen vent?
Woman: And I would -- and, like,
a cook station in every room.
Amir: Are you a chef?
I didn't know you were a chef.
Woman: A cook.
Amir: You're a cook?
Woman: Mm-hmm.
Amir: Oh, cool.
I'm like a big foodie.
Where do you guys,
uh -- where do
you guys like to go?
Man: Um...anyway...
Woman: But speaking of, I feel
like there's not
great ventilation
in the house,
so if any smells or flammable
materials came up --
Man: She says
it's about ventilation.
You can shoot a hole
through any roof anywhere.
I kept telling you that.
Amir: Okay.
Woman: I don't want
to argue about this.
Amir: I'm gonna pretend
that I don't know
what you're talking about.
Woman: I don't know
what you're talking --
What are you talking about?
Amir: Rhymes with...
death.
Both: Beth?
Amir: You guys ever watch
that show "Breaking Bad"?
Man: No, but
"Better Call Saul," I do watch.
Woman: Yeah, that's better.
Man: Little lighter.
I like that.
I have a question for you.
Are you a cop?
And if you were,
you have to answer
yes or no truthfully.
Amir: I don't think
that's a real thing,
first of all,
but no, I'm not a cop.
Woman: Why don't you just
say no?
Amir: I'm not a cop.
Man: It's not a real thing.
Woman: Are you wearing
a recording device?
Amir: No, I'm --
just -- what are you --
Woman: He's clean.
Man: All right,
I check the dick.
Amir: I got nothing.
Man: How's your sister
Jennifer doing these days?
Woman:
How's your dog -- Sven?
Amir: Sven's doing great. Why?
Woman: Are you sure?
Your dog walker
took him out this morning.
Right?
He did two poops.
Man: Second one was
a little runny.
Amir: He's been having
stomach issues.
I've been using
this organic feed.
Woman: Yeah? Bet his stomach's
real sensitive.
Man: Right.
We all have needs.
Amir: Sven, don't be scared!
Daddy loves you!
♪♪
Andrew: Our client Neville is
very concerned about security.
Baxter: We'll do
whatever we have to do
to reassure him the house
is safe and make the sale.
Neville: Why don't we
role play, okay?
So, for argument's sake,
let's just say
you're the intruder.
Okay?
We'll call him Jake.
So, Jake just came through,
and then his partner, Bob --
We'll just call you Bob.
Andrew: Okay.
Neville: You come through
the fireplace, all right?
And I just encourage you guys,
don't be afraid.
Make it real.
Baxter: Oddly enough,
this is not the first time
we've had to role play
to make a sale.
Andrew: No.
Not even close.
Neville: This is tucked in
'cause my wife is not longer
with me.
I'm just gonna make a little
body pillow like I would,
like, to remember
what her shape felt like.
Andrew: Neville?
Neville: Mm-hmm?
Andrew: Would you like
a safe word
just in case it goes too far?
Neville: Yeah.
So, why don't we say
"pancake," stop.
Andrew: Yeah.
Neville:
"Ham steak," keep going.
Baxter: They're gonna sound
similar, I think.
Andrew: But that'll make it fun.
That'll make it fun.
Neville:
And for argument's sake,
if we forget which one's
which, let's just keep going.
Baxter: I hope we don't have
to use the safe word.
Andrew: What's a ham steak?
Baxter: Hey.
Neville: [ Gasps ]
What are you doing?
Baxter: I'm in here.
Andrew: I just got here, too.
Neville: Who are you?
Andrew: My name's Bob.
Neville: What's your name?
Baxter: I'm Jake.
Neville: I'm Neville.
Are you gonna have your way
with me?
Andrew: Does this answer
your question?
Neville: Oh, please,
this is my home.
My wife's no longer with us.
Andrew: Run.
This is where you run.
Neville: Aah.
Baxter: You should run.
Neville: Aah.
Baxter: You're not running.
Neville: Aah.
Please don't grab my legs!
Andrew: We got you.
Neville: Aah! Oh, no!
Don't pull me back towards you!
Ohh.
Baxter: All right,
I'm taking him.
Neville: And then I get away.
Aah.
Baxter: Okay,
you're getting away.
Neville:
But then Bob grabs me.
Andrew: Hey,
you can't go this way.
Neville: Ohh. Good, good.
Go with this.
Andrew: Seems gentle.
Neville: Oh, no.
Oh, Miranda.
Don't watch this, Miranda.
Andrew: Miranda's dead, right?
Baxter: She's dead, right?
Neville: How dare you?
How dare you?
Baxter: Stop bringing up
his dead wife.
Andrew: I can't help it.
Neville: We can't just
pretend like we're naked?
Good.
Andrew: Are we really
going through with this?
Neville:
Do you want this sale?
Baxter: Get rid of my clothes!
Neville: Start at his pants.
Andrew: This stupid belt!
Neville: Good.
Andrew:
I'm done with this.
Neville: I'm gonna get
out of here!
Oh, no. Aah! Dead end.
Keep going.
Baxter: You could have easily
escaped by now.
Neville:
Okay, time-out.
Don't tell me
if I could've gotten out.
Baxter:
Do you want to get away?
♪♪
Victoria: I'm about to make
the easiest sale.
I'm showing a house
to my clients --
six grocery store workers
who just won the lottery
and want to buy
a house together.
[ Laughs ]
How stupid is that?
The kitchen is actually
my favorite room in the house.
As you can see,
it's so spacious.
Gorgeous center island.
Man: Wow.
Man #2: Do you guys
like this natural light
that we're getting?
I really like it.
Man: Take a vote.
Man #3: Take it or leave it.
Man #2: Voting,
I would say I like it.
Man #3: I like it.
Victoria: Great.
Man #4: Now that I just
heard everyone's opinion,
I just want to say
I hate the light.
Man #2: We're happy to know
your opinion. That helps.
Victoria: [ Sighs ]
There is one catch.
They like to vote on everything.
But I'm not gonna
let that stop me.
All right, four bedrooms.
I think you need at least
four bedrooms.
And you guys,
you have the money now.
Why not buy this big of a house?
Man #5: You've noticed
that we have some money?
Have you seen, uh,
what time it is?
Victoria:
Oh, wow, okay.
Man #4: Twos and shoes, baby.
[ Laughs ]
Victoria: Let me guess --
the coat.
Man #6: Heart transplant.
Victoria: Oh, all right.
Well, that's sweet.
Man: Check these old slacks
out, huh?
Victoria: Oh.
Man #2: I guess you can say that
papa's got a brand-new bag.
Victoria: Yeah.
Man #3: I love that.
Victoria: Papa does.
Man #3: And I --
I used, you know,
a portion of my money
to, uh, uh, get some tattoos.
And can I tell you, they killed.
They still hurt.
Man #2: Sometimes when I'm
putting things in my new bag,
it reminds me of...
a grocery bag,
when I used to...
Victoria: Well, you don't have
to be grocers anymore.
Man #5: I still want to work
at the grocery store.
I want a house that's close
to the grocery store, yeah.
Victoria: You guys
are still planning
on working at the grocery store?
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #3: Yeah.
Man #2: Still working.
Man #6: I don't know.
I'm a little torn
on the grocery store.
Man #3: Well, the votes are in.
You're going back
to the grocery store.
Man: Yeah.
Victoria: Well, you know what,
you can do
what you want to do
on your own time.
But what I think
we need to decide right now
is are we gonna buy this house?
Raise your hand
if you want to buy this house.
Man #3: No!
Man: No way.
Man #3: No way am I living here!
Man #2: Are you crazy?
Man #3: There's so many sinks
in here!
Man #2: Come on!
What are you talking about?!
Man: Well,
how are we gonna settle it?
Half of us don't like it,
half of us do.
Victoria: If you guys
can't agree on this,
why don't you just buy
your own homes?
Man #4: What the hell
are you talking about?
Man #6: Because we won
the lottery together.
Victoria: That doesn't mean
you have to buy the same house.
You can split the money.
Man #5: We're friends.
Man #3: Miss, you should
hear yourself right now.
You really should.
Man #5: Six grown best friends
are gonna live separately.
[ Laughter ]
Man #2:
One ticket, six houses.
Somebody is not adding up.
[ Laughter ]
That is rich!
Man #4: I am so sorry
I got sick.
Victoria: Makes sense.
Man #3: You ought to be
a stand-up comedian.
Man #5:
No wonder she's alone.
[ Laughter ]
Victoria:
Are you buying the house?
What did we decide?
They're not going
to buy this house!
Woman: Oh, my God!
I love it!
Amir: Home sweet home?
Woman: It's beautiful!
It's beautiful!
Amir: Take it on.
Woman: Look at this, sweetie.
Amir: Yes,
they threatened my dog,
but at the end of the day,
real estate
is about showing the client
that you have what they want.
Reinforced cement
on the walls, the ceilings --
completely soundproof.
Woman: I could scream so loud
and no one would hear me.
Man: Oh, my God.
Woman: This is the dream.
Thank you.
Man: This is great.
Amir: Come here.
Come here.
Who takes care of you?
Man: Honey, we can store all
the methylene vats over there.
Woman: We can put the ethanol
over there.
Man: Oh, my God,
you're right.
We used to have
to put the ethanol
in a whole different shed.
Woman: I know.
I'd have to walk back and forth.
Amir:
You can have it all.
Man: If cops are invading here,
it'd be easy
to pick them off as they're
coming down the driveway.
Amir: Whoa, whoa, okay.
Man: [ Imitates gunfire ]
Woman: And look,
there's an exit over there,
so if they're coming this way,
we can go that way.
Man: Oh, yeah,
if they came through that door.
[ Imitates weapon firing ]
Perfect lines of sight.
Woman: We could draw them
both in from these sides,
get them in, and then set
this place on fire,
close the doors, walk away.
Amir: Just give me a sign
when you're done
talking about killing cops.
[ Both sigh ]
Yes! I did it!
I'm like the meth
of selling houses!
That's how successful I am!
♪♪
Neville:
[ Chuckles lightly ]
[ Sighs ]
Baxter:
So, uh, Neville
was never really
frightened of intruders.
Neville: Wow, am I right?
Baxter: [ Whistles ]
That was pretty interesting.
Neville: Yeah.
Andrew: That was unexpected.
Neville: God. At some point,
I was like...
I kind of never want to say
the safe word, you know?
Baxter: Yeah.
Andrew: Yeah.
You said that out loud.
Neville: Mm-hmm.
I did.
At one point I said,
"Let's never say the safe word."
Did someone say it?
Andrew: I said it a lot
of times.
Baxter: We said it.
We tried writing it down
to see if you could read it.
Neville: Oh. I was like --
Andrew: I kept saying,
"Do you understand?"
Baxter: "I can't hear.
I can't hear."
Neville:
Mm-hmm. I'm sorry.
Once I get into it,
it's like I'm in,
and then you're handing me
that piece of paper,
I'm like, "I don't have
time to read.
I'm busy
being taken advantage of."
And bravo to both of you.
I mean...
Andrew: You're strong.
Neville: Mm-hmm.
Andrew: Wiry.
Baxter: We made the sale.
Andrew: I feel so empty.
♪♪
Andrew: Ugh.
Amir:
$7.5 million in sales.
All I do is win.
You have just been Yaghoobed.
Andrew: [ Imitates beeping ]
Pbht!
Glenn: Good work.
Baxter: You just
got cellphone fingered.
Amir: You might want to watch
who you're cellphone fingering
because I am going
to be a partner
in about five minutes.
Things around here
are about to change
when Chief Yaghoob is the boss.
Andrew:
Oh, who are you calling?
Oh.
Here, I'll get that.
Hello? No, Amir?
No, he's an asshole.
Chelsea:
You didn't get my text?
Glenn: [ Clears throat ]
Amir: Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, no.
Andrew: Boom!
Amir: What the hell
did she text you?
What did she text you?
What's on that text message?
Chelsea: ♪ I texted him
some numbers ♪
After closing with Gio,
I sold two more properties.
Andrew: What about
the intangibles?
Glenn: Oh, they're not really
playing into account here.
Baxter: But I thought
they were very important.
Glenn: The intangibles, at
a certain point, just drop off.
Baxter: All we have
are intangibles.
Amir: I just gave you
$7.5 million in sales,
and she texted you something
and that's it? She's up top?
Andrew:
[ Imitating Amir mockingly ]
Chelsea: Actually,
that's what you sound like.
Amir:
Is that what I sound like?
[ Mocking Amir together ]
Andrew:
Oh. Oh, my God.
Amir: Grow up.
Honestly.
Chelsea: Yeah.
It's unbecoming.
Victoria: My lottery
millionaires fired me.
Glenn:
It's 3:58 p.m.
We've got about
two minutes left.
Chelsea: [ Humming ]
Glenn: Uh, Dean should be here
at any moment.
I'm just gonna take a little
time to tally it up,
but it looks like we're pretty
close to, uh...
Uh, hold on a second.
Just got a text from Dean.
He is stuck
in helicopter traffic.
He's gonna be two hours late.
You have until 6:30.
♪♪
I suggest you take this time
to continue selling.
Victoria: Everybody move!
Chelsea:
Okay, I have to...
I have to call...
Baxter: We gotta sell Rosewood.
Andrew: Let's go.
Come on! Go!
Chelsea: Get up!
Baxter: Oh, no.
I goat panicked him.
Chelsea: Oh, God.
Andrew: I goat panicked him.
Chelsea: Should I call --
Andrew: No, no, no, no, no.
He's...
Chelsea: My -- my Uber's here.
Got to go.
Andrew: The day we have all been
waiting for
has finally arrived.
Dean: In eight weeks time,
I'm going to take on...
a partner here at Platinum.
Victoria: [ Sighs ]
It's me.
Amir Yaghoob
will be your next partner.
Chelsea: Glenn has, again,
called one
of his morning meetings.
I swear, this is the first thing
I'm getting rid of
when I'm partner.
Glenn: This algorithm in place
right here
is going to determine
who becomes partner
by the end of the day.
Andrew: How?
Chelsea: What?!
Victoria:
Since when does Glenn
have anything to do
with who makes partner?
How? How are you
figuring this out?
Glenn:
Sales overall, obviously,
is one of the biggest
determining factors
in this chart.
Bit then there's also
other intangibles,
things that make
a broker truly great.
It's not just sales.
It's intangibles.
Baxter: Ooh, thank God.
Andrew: Yeah.
Our sales are not great.
How do you close on a Friday?
Do you finish the week off well?
On a Tuesday around
10:00 a.m.
Are you approaching your clients
in a specific way?
Amir: Glenn can make up
any rules he wants
as long as I win.
Baxter: Could you tell us
some other factors?
Andrew: What are
the other factors?!
Amir: You don't have
to tell anyone anything!
Andrew: No!
Amir, you shut up!
Amir: We have trust in him!
I have trust in you, bro.
Chelsea: No, no, you are such
a piece of shit right now.
Andrew:
You, by mistake, landed --
Chelsea:
Don't yell in my ear!
You sound like a bullhorn.
Andrew: You're putting
your ear in my mouth!
Chelsea: You sound like a mascot
at a shitty football game!
Baxter:
Why don't you back off?
Why don't you back off?!
Andrew: Well, you're
the shitty football game, then!
Chelsea: I'm done playing
cool Chelsea.
It's time to debut
dick-punching Chelsea.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is concrete sales, huh?
Like Kermit the frog
just running around here?
Glenn: Don't -- Don't touch the
board. Don't touch the board.
Chelsea: Oh,
does this bother you?
Does this bother you?
What?
Amir: Oh, Chelsea
thinks she's running shit now?
Nope! Not today!
You want to play with me?!
Chelsea: I do!
Amir:
You want to play with me?
Chelsea:
I'm taller than you!
Amir: Stop it!
Baxter: Stop!
Amir: Hold me back.
Chelsea: Why are you hiding
behind a man of similar size?
Amir: Hold me back.
Help!
Baxter: Hey!
Amir: Is this what you wanted?
Victoria:
This is real good, guys.
Chelsea: Happy birthday,
motherfucker.
Baxter:
Is it your birthday?
Amir: It is my birthday,
and I hope that was put
into consideration.
Baxter:
♪ ...birthday... ♪
Together: ♪ ...to you ♪
Chelsea: Fuck.
All:
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear Amir ♪
Chelsea:
Amir? I'm sorry.
♪♪
Victoria: Once they got it
out of their system,
we all calmed down.
So now Glenn
can explain his stupid board!
God, he's an idiot!
Glenn: Do you want
an explanation of the chart?
Victoria:
I would love one.
Glenn: Or do you want to keep
dipping your dick in applesauce?
Andrew: What?
Chelsea: Where are you from?
Baxter: Would that be good?
Glenn: Cold.
Well, that's not good.
That's cold. Warm.
Now we're getting
a little warmer
because it's not cold anymore.
$3 million.
$3 million.
That's great.
Chelsea: That's dollars?
Glenn: Oh, we're moving up.
We're heating up.
We're heating up,
and we're heating up
more than $3 million.
Oops, I made even more sales
than I did
when I was heating up.
Andrew: Oops?
Glenn: 6:00 p.m.
This actually only tracks sales
at 6:00 p.m. exactly.
What don't you understand
about going from heating up
to "oops, dollar sign"?
Just like to remind everybody
that you got
this day left to sell.
This day is the only day
that you have left
to climb the board.
Amir: I don't need another day
to climb the board.
I'm already on top pissing
on everyone as they climb.
I'm all like "pssss"!
And they're all like, "Oh!
Oh, there's piss in my eyes!"
Chelsea: Yeah,
I'm at the bottom,
but I got all day
to change that.
Baxter: We only have
until 4:00 p.m.
to prove to Dean that we're
worthy of the promotion.
Andrew:
It's not a lot of time.
Victoria:
They should all quit.
The partnership will be mine.
[ Growling ] Mine!
♪♪
Chelsea: I'm heading
to Toluca Lake
to negotiate with a broker
I've never worked with before
because my client
wants to make an offer
on a house he represents!
♪ Chelsea is moving
on up on Glenn's board ♪
Gio.
Gio: How do you do?
Chelsea: Great to meet you.
Chelsea.
Gio: Great to meet you, too.
It's beautiful, huh, huh?
Chelsea: Beautiful.
Gio: Beautiful neighborhood.
You know, Beverly Hills
of the Valley is what they say.
Chelsea: They do say that.
Gio: It's what they say.
So...
Chelsea: I have good news
for you.
Chelsea: I have a wonderful
offer from my client.
Gio: Mm.
Chelsea: She'd like to do,
for this property...
Gio: Okay.
Chelsea:
...6.5, 30-day escrow.
Gio: [ Inhales sharply ] Ooh.
Chelsea: All cash, huh?
Gio: Ooh, ooh. Okay, okay.
I like the cash.
Chelsea: Yeah?
I'm about to seal this deal,
and in walks
some greasy blue Popsicle.
Gio:
Ah, 6.9 you say?
Chelsea: $6.5.
Gio: $6.5 you say.
6.5. Oh, hey.
I don't know you.
Man: Hi.
I don't know you, my friend.
Gio: Hi.
Man: How do you do?
Chelsea: Hi.
Man: How do you do?
Gio: She's another broker.
Chelsea: Why?
Man: How do you do?
Huh?
I don't want to bug you.
You're making a deal.
Gio: We make a deal.
Man: I got a client.
Uh, I'm a broker myself,
and this place is, uh --
Gio: Okay, whatever --
whatever your client say,
she just offered, uh, 7.8?
Chelsea: 6.5.
Gio: 6.5 she say.
I'd love to just deal with --
Man: I don't want to bug your
deal. Go ahead, go ahead.
Chelsea: Thank you.
Man: Okay, Chris Brown.
I'll call you back.
Gio: Chris Brown?
Man: I will call you back, okay,
when I've seen the whole place.
But the pool alone
seems to be worth 7.2.
Gio: Chris Brown?
Chelsea: He doesn't know
Chris Brown.
Gio: Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Man: What did she say she'd do?
She said she'd do 8.8?
Chelsea: 6.5.
Gio: She said 8.8.
Man: Close.
You should close with her,
because Chris is gonna be crazy.
He'd be mad at me.
Gio:
We should close at 8.8.
Man: He's probably
going to hit me, you know?
Chelsea: And then it hits me.
This is Serge and Gio, isn't it?
Gio: You tell Chris Brown --
Man: It's already sold?
Gio:
It's sold for 7.4.
Chelsea: 6.5.
Man: This house for 7.4?
Chelsea: 6.5.
Gio: Which is good.
Chelsea: Always 6.5.
Man: You just put the wool
on this one, huh?
Chelsea: Nope.
Gio: Yeah, you did a fast one.
Chelsea: What?
Man: Hey.
Chelsea: Can you --
do you need me to bend down?
Man: Yeah.
Congratulations.
Chelsea: Thank you.
Man: Congratulations.
Gio: You tell Chris Brown...
Chelsea: Damn it.
Gio: ....he too slow.
Man: Oh, I just got a text
from him.
He would go 8.
Gio: Oh.
Chelsea: Can I see it?
Man: Oh, the service wiped it.
But he would go 8.
Gio: He would go 8,
so maybe if we go 9.2?
Chelsea: What, 9.2?
Gio: Maybe we go 9.2,
scare him away.
Chelsea: You've lost your mind.
Man: I think
you would lose Chris.
I'll tell you right now,
Chris --
Hang on, let me hit him.
Ready?
Call my good friend
Chris Brown.
Gio: Oh,
he's calling Chris Brown.
That's exciting.
Siri: I don't see Chris Brown
in your contacts.
Perhaps you meant one
of these nine?
[ Double beep ]
Gio: 6.5?
Chelsea: 6.5.
Gio: Cash.
Okay.
Chelsea: Yeah.
Gio: I never met that guy.
Chelsea: All right.
Gio:
I never met that guy.
Chelsea:
I don't believe you.
Gio: I never met you!
♪♪
Both: ♪ We're gonna, we're
gonna, we're gonna get it ♪
Baxter:
♪ The partnership ♪
Both:
♪ He's got to choose us ♪
Ow!
Andrew:
♪ We're the obvious choice ♪
♪ when you line us all up
with the others ♪
Baxter: ♪ Yeah ♪
We're on our way to meet
our client Neville Tipton.
Andrew: We're gonna show him
a gorgeous new Malibu house
that just hit the market.
Uh, do you like a room
with a view?
Neville:
Uh, what? Oh. Wow.
Andrew: Oh, yeah.
Neville: Wow.
Baxter:
'Cause you're in one.
Neville: [ Laughs ] That's
why you're buying this.
Both: Yeah.
Neville: I'm seeing lots of
wonderful windows and views out.
I'm just curious
where the button might be
to make the steel casings
come down.
Baxter: Oh,
you mean like shades?
Neville: Yeah, shades,
protection.
You know, like a metal casing.
Andrew: I don't think
this house has --
Baxter: No, this house
definitely doesn't have steel,
Neville: Okay, that's gonna
be a red flag for me.
Just so you guys know,
it's a red flag.
Baxter:
Well, this is very safe.
It's actually a private
gated neighborhood.
Andrew: It's pretty secluded.
Neville: I hear you,
but they're gonna pass,
what, every hour?
So that gives him a nice window
to say, "Whoo-hoosh, he's gone."
He ascends this thing, comes in,
and they're gonna
know I'm alone instantly
'cause I only sleep on one side
and I keep the other side
tucked in
just to remember
the loss of my wife.
Andrew: Hey, Neville,
unless it's a weekend
or something, right,
and you have some chick over
that you're gonna plow
all weekend?
Neville: I just said I keep
one side of the bed
tucked in for the memory
of my wife,
so most likely
I wouldn't just go right to,
"Oh, are you dating?"
Andrew: Okay,
next time I'll know.
Dead wives are a tricky subject.
Neville: Where's my panic room
is what I'm gonna ask,
'cause every house
has a panic room.
Andrew: Right.
Baxter: No, not...
Andrew: Like I always say,
every room can be a panic room.
Neville: This house
doesn't have a panic room?
Are you serious?
Guys, why don't you --
Baxter: Neville,
but we can get one.
Neville: Why don't you
sell me the outdoors?
Just put me in the middle
of the yard
so I can get raped immediately.
Andrew: Neville sure talks
about rape a lot.
Baxter: Yes, he does.
Andrew: A lot.
♪♪
Amir: I'm gonna
say this in a good way.
You guys are probably
my hardest clients
that I've had this year.
Man: Oh, yeah?
Amir: You know what you want.
I like that.
I don't like that.
I need this couple
to make me a platinum-size sale
so that I can seal
the partnership!
Look, it's our sixth house.
I'm willing to go to 15 houses,
20, 100, I don't care.
But I think this is the one.
Man: I do kind of --
look at those doors.
Honey, you'd fit
like two methylene vats
through that at a time.
Woman: Yeah,
but there's so much glass,
if someone wanted to ram in,
they could do it really easily.
Man: You always
mention the glass.
Those are things we can change.
Board up all the windows,
put an extra gate across there.
Have all the Dobermans
back here.
Woman: I know,
but I also kind of
feel like there's no coverage,
there's no trees.
Amir: All right,
I guess you want something
with a little more privacy.
Woman: Yes.
Amir: Less ostentatious.
Man:
I know this doesn't exist,
but if there was "Predator"
technology for a house...
Amir: You want technology
from the movie "Predator"?
Man: No, I'm saying --
Woman: What can you do
without "Predator" technology?
The closest to that,
that's what we want.
Amir: I don't have access
to "Predator" technology.
Man: We need a kitchen vent
in every room.
But that's easy.
Amir: In every room
you need a kitchen vent?
Woman: And I would -- and, like,
a cook station in every room.
Amir: Are you a chef?
I didn't know you were a chef.
Woman: A cook.
Amir: You're a cook?
Woman: Mm-hmm.
Amir: Oh, cool.
I'm like a big foodie.
Where do you guys,
uh -- where do
you guys like to go?
Man: Um...anyway...
Woman: But speaking of, I feel
like there's not
great ventilation
in the house,
so if any smells or flammable
materials came up --
Man: She says
it's about ventilation.
You can shoot a hole
through any roof anywhere.
I kept telling you that.
Amir: Okay.
Woman: I don't want
to argue about this.
Amir: I'm gonna pretend
that I don't know
what you're talking about.
Woman: I don't know
what you're talking --
What are you talking about?
Amir: Rhymes with...
death.
Both: Beth?
Amir: You guys ever watch
that show "Breaking Bad"?
Man: No, but
"Better Call Saul," I do watch.
Woman: Yeah, that's better.
Man: Little lighter.
I like that.
I have a question for you.
Are you a cop?
And if you were,
you have to answer
yes or no truthfully.
Amir: I don't think
that's a real thing,
first of all,
but no, I'm not a cop.
Woman: Why don't you just
say no?
Amir: I'm not a cop.
Man: It's not a real thing.
Woman: Are you wearing
a recording device?
Amir: No, I'm --
just -- what are you --
Woman: He's clean.
Man: All right,
I check the dick.
Amir: I got nothing.
Man: How's your sister
Jennifer doing these days?
Woman:
How's your dog -- Sven?
Amir: Sven's doing great. Why?
Woman: Are you sure?
Your dog walker
took him out this morning.
Right?
He did two poops.
Man: Second one was
a little runny.
Amir: He's been having
stomach issues.
I've been using
this organic feed.
Woman: Yeah? Bet his stomach's
real sensitive.
Man: Right.
We all have needs.
Amir: Sven, don't be scared!
Daddy loves you!
♪♪
Andrew: Our client Neville is
very concerned about security.
Baxter: We'll do
whatever we have to do
to reassure him the house
is safe and make the sale.
Neville: Why don't we
role play, okay?
So, for argument's sake,
let's just say
you're the intruder.
Okay?
We'll call him Jake.
So, Jake just came through,
and then his partner, Bob --
We'll just call you Bob.
Andrew: Okay.
Neville: You come through
the fireplace, all right?
And I just encourage you guys,
don't be afraid.
Make it real.
Baxter: Oddly enough,
this is not the first time
we've had to role play
to make a sale.
Andrew: No.
Not even close.
Neville: This is tucked in
'cause my wife is not longer
with me.
I'm just gonna make a little
body pillow like I would,
like, to remember
what her shape felt like.
Andrew: Neville?
Neville: Mm-hmm?
Andrew: Would you like
a safe word
just in case it goes too far?
Neville: Yeah.
So, why don't we say
"pancake," stop.
Andrew: Yeah.
Neville:
"Ham steak," keep going.
Baxter: They're gonna sound
similar, I think.
Andrew: But that'll make it fun.
That'll make it fun.
Neville:
And for argument's sake,
if we forget which one's
which, let's just keep going.
Baxter: I hope we don't have
to use the safe word.
Andrew: What's a ham steak?
Baxter: Hey.
Neville: [ Gasps ]
What are you doing?
Baxter: I'm in here.
Andrew: I just got here, too.
Neville: Who are you?
Andrew: My name's Bob.
Neville: What's your name?
Baxter: I'm Jake.
Neville: I'm Neville.
Are you gonna have your way
with me?
Andrew: Does this answer
your question?
Neville: Oh, please,
this is my home.
My wife's no longer with us.
Andrew: Run.
This is where you run.
Neville: Aah.
Baxter: You should run.
Neville: Aah.
Baxter: You're not running.
Neville: Aah.
Please don't grab my legs!
Andrew: We got you.
Neville: Aah! Oh, no!
Don't pull me back towards you!
Ohh.
Baxter: All right,
I'm taking him.
Neville: And then I get away.
Aah.
Baxter: Okay,
you're getting away.
Neville:
But then Bob grabs me.
Andrew: Hey,
you can't go this way.
Neville: Ohh. Good, good.
Go with this.
Andrew: Seems gentle.
Neville: Oh, no.
Oh, Miranda.
Don't watch this, Miranda.
Andrew: Miranda's dead, right?
Baxter: She's dead, right?
Neville: How dare you?
How dare you?
Baxter: Stop bringing up
his dead wife.
Andrew: I can't help it.
Neville: We can't just
pretend like we're naked?
Good.
Andrew: Are we really
going through with this?
Neville:
Do you want this sale?
Baxter: Get rid of my clothes!
Neville: Start at his pants.
Andrew: This stupid belt!
Neville: Good.
Andrew:
I'm done with this.
Neville: I'm gonna get
out of here!
Oh, no. Aah! Dead end.
Keep going.
Baxter: You could have easily
escaped by now.
Neville:
Okay, time-out.
Don't tell me
if I could've gotten out.
Baxter:
Do you want to get away?
♪♪
Victoria: I'm about to make
the easiest sale.
I'm showing a house
to my clients --
six grocery store workers
who just won the lottery
and want to buy
a house together.
[ Laughs ]
How stupid is that?
The kitchen is actually
my favorite room in the house.
As you can see,
it's so spacious.
Gorgeous center island.
Man: Wow.
Man #2: Do you guys
like this natural light
that we're getting?
I really like it.
Man: Take a vote.
Man #3: Take it or leave it.
Man #2: Voting,
I would say I like it.
Man #3: I like it.
Victoria: Great.
Man #4: Now that I just
heard everyone's opinion,
I just want to say
I hate the light.
Man #2: We're happy to know
your opinion. That helps.
Victoria: [ Sighs ]
There is one catch.
They like to vote on everything.
But I'm not gonna
let that stop me.
All right, four bedrooms.
I think you need at least
four bedrooms.
And you guys,
you have the money now.
Why not buy this big of a house?
Man #5: You've noticed
that we have some money?
Have you seen, uh,
what time it is?
Victoria:
Oh, wow, okay.
Man #4: Twos and shoes, baby.
[ Laughs ]
Victoria: Let me guess --
the coat.
Man #6: Heart transplant.
Victoria: Oh, all right.
Well, that's sweet.
Man: Check these old slacks
out, huh?
Victoria: Oh.
Man #2: I guess you can say that
papa's got a brand-new bag.
Victoria: Yeah.
Man #3: I love that.
Victoria: Papa does.
Man #3: And I --
I used, you know,
a portion of my money
to, uh, uh, get some tattoos.
And can I tell you, they killed.
They still hurt.
Man #2: Sometimes when I'm
putting things in my new bag,
it reminds me of...
a grocery bag,
when I used to...
Victoria: Well, you don't have
to be grocers anymore.
Man #5: I still want to work
at the grocery store.
I want a house that's close
to the grocery store, yeah.
Victoria: You guys
are still planning
on working at the grocery store?
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #3: Yeah.
Man #2: Still working.
Man #6: I don't know.
I'm a little torn
on the grocery store.
Man #3: Well, the votes are in.
You're going back
to the grocery store.
Man: Yeah.
Victoria: Well, you know what,
you can do
what you want to do
on your own time.
But what I think
we need to decide right now
is are we gonna buy this house?
Raise your hand
if you want to buy this house.
Man #3: No!
Man: No way.
Man #3: No way am I living here!
Man #2: Are you crazy?
Man #3: There's so many sinks
in here!
Man #2: Come on!
What are you talking about?!
Man: Well,
how are we gonna settle it?
Half of us don't like it,
half of us do.
Victoria: If you guys
can't agree on this,
why don't you just buy
your own homes?
Man #4: What the hell
are you talking about?
Man #6: Because we won
the lottery together.
Victoria: That doesn't mean
you have to buy the same house.
You can split the money.
Man #5: We're friends.
Man #3: Miss, you should
hear yourself right now.
You really should.
Man #5: Six grown best friends
are gonna live separately.
[ Laughter ]
Man #2:
One ticket, six houses.
Somebody is not adding up.
[ Laughter ]
That is rich!
Man #4: I am so sorry
I got sick.
Victoria: Makes sense.
Man #3: You ought to be
a stand-up comedian.
Man #5:
No wonder she's alone.
[ Laughter ]
Victoria:
Are you buying the house?
What did we decide?
They're not going
to buy this house!
Woman: Oh, my God!
I love it!
Amir: Home sweet home?
Woman: It's beautiful!
It's beautiful!
Amir: Take it on.
Woman: Look at this, sweetie.
Amir: Yes,
they threatened my dog,
but at the end of the day,
real estate
is about showing the client
that you have what they want.
Reinforced cement
on the walls, the ceilings --
completely soundproof.
Woman: I could scream so loud
and no one would hear me.
Man: Oh, my God.
Woman: This is the dream.
Thank you.
Man: This is great.
Amir: Come here.
Come here.
Who takes care of you?
Man: Honey, we can store all
the methylene vats over there.
Woman: We can put the ethanol
over there.
Man: Oh, my God,
you're right.
We used to have
to put the ethanol
in a whole different shed.
Woman: I know.
I'd have to walk back and forth.
Amir:
You can have it all.
Man: If cops are invading here,
it'd be easy
to pick them off as they're
coming down the driveway.
Amir: Whoa, whoa, okay.
Man: [ Imitates gunfire ]
Woman: And look,
there's an exit over there,
so if they're coming this way,
we can go that way.
Man: Oh, yeah,
if they came through that door.
[ Imitates weapon firing ]
Perfect lines of sight.
Woman: We could draw them
both in from these sides,
get them in, and then set
this place on fire,
close the doors, walk away.
Amir: Just give me a sign
when you're done
talking about killing cops.
[ Both sigh ]
Yes! I did it!
I'm like the meth
of selling houses!
That's how successful I am!
♪♪
Neville:
[ Chuckles lightly ]
[ Sighs ]
Baxter:
So, uh, Neville
was never really
frightened of intruders.
Neville: Wow, am I right?
Baxter: [ Whistles ]
That was pretty interesting.
Neville: Yeah.
Andrew: That was unexpected.
Neville: God. At some point,
I was like...
I kind of never want to say
the safe word, you know?
Baxter: Yeah.
Andrew: Yeah.
You said that out loud.
Neville: Mm-hmm.
I did.
At one point I said,
"Let's never say the safe word."
Did someone say it?
Andrew: I said it a lot
of times.
Baxter: We said it.
We tried writing it down
to see if you could read it.
Neville: Oh. I was like --
Andrew: I kept saying,
"Do you understand?"
Baxter: "I can't hear.
I can't hear."
Neville:
Mm-hmm. I'm sorry.
Once I get into it,
it's like I'm in,
and then you're handing me
that piece of paper,
I'm like, "I don't have
time to read.
I'm busy
being taken advantage of."
And bravo to both of you.
I mean...
Andrew: You're strong.
Neville: Mm-hmm.
Andrew: Wiry.
Baxter: We made the sale.
Andrew: I feel so empty.
♪♪
Andrew: Ugh.
Amir:
$7.5 million in sales.
All I do is win.
You have just been Yaghoobed.
Andrew: [ Imitates beeping ]
Pbht!
Glenn: Good work.
Baxter: You just
got cellphone fingered.
Amir: You might want to watch
who you're cellphone fingering
because I am going
to be a partner
in about five minutes.
Things around here
are about to change
when Chief Yaghoob is the boss.
Andrew:
Oh, who are you calling?
Oh.
Here, I'll get that.
Hello? No, Amir?
No, he's an asshole.
Chelsea:
You didn't get my text?
Glenn: [ Clears throat ]
Amir: Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, no.
Andrew: Boom!
Amir: What the hell
did she text you?
What did she text you?
What's on that text message?
Chelsea: ♪ I texted him
some numbers ♪
After closing with Gio,
I sold two more properties.
Andrew: What about
the intangibles?
Glenn: Oh, they're not really
playing into account here.
Baxter: But I thought
they were very important.
Glenn: The intangibles, at
a certain point, just drop off.
Baxter: All we have
are intangibles.
Amir: I just gave you
$7.5 million in sales,
and she texted you something
and that's it? She's up top?
Andrew:
[ Imitating Amir mockingly ]
Chelsea: Actually,
that's what you sound like.
Amir:
Is that what I sound like?
[ Mocking Amir together ]
Andrew:
Oh. Oh, my God.
Amir: Grow up.
Honestly.
Chelsea: Yeah.
It's unbecoming.
Victoria: My lottery
millionaires fired me.
Glenn:
It's 3:58 p.m.
We've got about
two minutes left.
Chelsea: [ Humming ]
Glenn: Uh, Dean should be here
at any moment.
I'm just gonna take a little
time to tally it up,
but it looks like we're pretty
close to, uh...
Uh, hold on a second.
Just got a text from Dean.
He is stuck
in helicopter traffic.
He's gonna be two hours late.
You have until 6:30.
♪♪
I suggest you take this time
to continue selling.
Victoria: Everybody move!
Chelsea:
Okay, I have to...
I have to call...
Baxter: We gotta sell Rosewood.
Andrew: Let's go.
Come on! Go!
Chelsea: Get up!
Baxter: Oh, no.
I goat panicked him.
Chelsea: Oh, God.
Andrew: I goat panicked him.
Chelsea: Should I call --
Andrew: No, no, no, no, no.
He's...
Chelsea: My -- my Uber's here.
Got to go.