Back in the Game (2013–2014): Season 1, Episode 12 - Sports Therapy - full transcript

All right! Batter! Batter!
Batter! Batter! Batter!

Ooh.

Almost there.

Whoa!

Okay.

We've been through this, buddy.

Ah.

Okay, this one. Yep. This one.

Ooh!

Okay, you know what?

How about, uh, on this one



we just really focus
on the ball, okay?

I'm trying, but that lady
and her bichon frisé

are wearing matching sweaters.

It's beyond adorbs.

Dang it. It is.

We've got a major situation
out there in right field.

Hmm?

Is someone hurt?

I wish.

That's right. They
started making jewelry.

Wow, that's good, dong.

Thank you.

Guys, can we wait
until after practice

for the arts and crafts?



What did he say?

Excuse me, I speak dong.

He said it will
unravel if he stops.

What is happening today?

Yeah, hello?

Let me explain something to you.

If I really wanted solar panels,

don't you think I'd
be calling you?

No, no. So, by you calling me,

you're trying to tell
me that I'm too stupid

to use a phone!

Sorry.

No, not you.

You, I'm gonna track you down,

I'm gonna break your
head with a pipe!

Mm. God bless.

Guys, her name is
Kate middleton.

You've got to be kidding me.

Aww.Aww. Aww. Aww.

So plush.

Great practice.

Let's call it.

Aww.Aww. Aww. Aww.

♪ I'm back

♪ I'm back

hovercraft.

I guess we just have
to make it hover.

Um, your house?

So, um, what do you say?
Like, 7:30?

Perfect. I'll see you then.

All right.

So, what was that all about?

Nothing, mom. It's
not a big deal.

Oh, come on, smiley. Spill it.

Look, we got paired up
to do a school project,

and she's coming over
tonight to work on it.

Oh, my God.

This is so exciting. It's
like your first date.

Mom, keep it together.
It's not a date.

Uh, it's a one-on-one
at our house at night

with the love of your life. Oh!

I remember when she kissed you
on the cheek for the first time.

Do you remember?

And I caught you doing
that cute little...

Karate dance. Mom, stop!

What is with you lately?

What are you talking about?
You're on a mission

to embarrass me.

I dare you to name one example.
Really?

I've warned you. There's
a system failure.

Hey, bud. I got to go to work.
Give me a kiss goodbye.

Mom. Come on.

We can't see anything at all.

Even it out. Mom!

I'm not gonna leave until you give me...
thank you.

Oh, and if that new
underwear starts to itch,

I put an old pair
on your bed, okay?

Mom!

Just promise me

when she comes over tonight
you won't act like this.

Hold that thought.

Okay, say it again.

It's the perfect intro for
your wedding video, okay?

No. No. Yes. You turn back.
Say it again. Hey. No.

Stop it! Leave.

'Sup?

Hey.

Hey.

I'd go with the t-shirt.

Your first date,

your shirt should say,

"welcome to the gun show."

It's not a date. She
is so annoying.

What do you want? It's your mom.

I know you're a little rattled

because this Vanessa means
a lot to you, right?

Cannon, she's, like, amazing.

And she smells like
soapy flowers.

Yeah. You know, when I
first dated your grandma,

she was something else.

She had the best
legs in the Bronx...

best legs east of
the Mississippi.

And, um, on our very first date,

we went to a, uh... a drive-in

and we watched "three
coins in the fountain."

And then we went back to my
apartment, and we made it.

Made what?

A cake.

Listen, don't sweat it tonight

because I'll make sure that
mom leaves you two alone.

You got my word on that.
Thank you.

Gun show.

Welcome to the gun show.

Why would we even need to know

how to build a
hovercraft anyway?

Maybe if you work for
NASA or something?

No way.

I mean, even they'd be like,

"one Mars rover,
coming right up.

But that balloon hovercraft thing?
We're stumped."

Stop spying on them, you creep.
Shh!

He's making little science
jokes, and she likes it.

If you're on top of this kid any
more, you'd be a circus act.

What is with you?

I caught him doing something.

Danny!

Privacy!

That's my deodorant.

Wait, you have odor now?

I use it, too.

I thought it was a
community pit stick. Ew.

I mean, so the kid
stinks a little bit.

I mean, what's the big deal?

The big deal is, he is
taking his first steps

toward becoming...
This, and I'm sorry,

but capturing his
last few moments

is making me feel better, okay?

So, just move over, chick pits.
I'm on the clock.

Mm! Mm.

Ah.

Ha!

Yeah, hello.

Oh, this is so cute.

Okay, you guys... you guys just...
just give me one.

One... One.

Stop. A special forces
thing or something?

Hold on. My thing is dying here.

It's dying.

I'm gonna plug it in

so that I can yell at
you some more, okay?

Hang on!

Now listen, you ingrate.

You completely destroyed
an intimate moment

between my grandson
and his girlfriend.

And I got to tell you, that
makes me extremely irate!

Cannon! Go ahead and say
"clean energy" again.

Clean energy. Clean energy.

You know, say that again.

I dare you.

One more time, I want
to hear "clean energy."

Come on! Come on! Say it!

I warned him.

Dad!

Baked potato!

Listen to this.

Now, then.

He doesn't know
what you're doing.

I don't care.

It makes me feel terrific.

The solar guy's now calling
me on the landline.

I'm gonna kill him.

Listen to me,

you communist, tree-hugging,
twinkle-toed vegan.

You sun-worshipping,
kale-chomping piece of...

What?

All right, hold on, please.

It's your mom.

Hello?

My mom says I have
to leave right now.

She told me to wait outside.

Yeah.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Are you insane?

Name one thing I did wrong.

Your phone's ready.

Oh, boy.

Hey, um, so, look, about
last night, um...

My mom wants me to
switch study partners.

No, you really don't
have to do that.

She thinks it's... Better.

Ouch.

What's he doing up there?

I don't know. He lost it.

Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Well...

I've had students
ditch class before,

but your son sat in a
tree for three hours.

That is a red flag.

Yeah.

He does that.

I mean, not all the time.

You know, not in a weird way.
Just a...

Normal amount of... Tree time.

This isn't the first time Danny's
name's come across my desk.

It's not like he belted someone.
What are we looking at here?

A kid in a tree.

So I'll tell him to stay
the hell out of trees.

We're done. Done.

If you'll excuse me now, I-i
got my car parked in the red.

I think it's a little more
complicated than that.

Look, we have a
couple options here.

Have you considered sitting
down with a family therapist?

Yeah.

It's not really our thing.
What else you got?

Well, the other option
is we can put him

in an e.D.B.D. Class.

E.D.B.D.?

E.D.B.D.

E.D.B.D.?

Emotionally disturbed,

behaviorally disturbed.

E.D.B.D.

But that's the cape class.

Mm. What's a...
what's a cape class?

There's a kid in the class...
Nick patoulis...

he wears a cape.

We'll take the shrink. Mm-hmm.

Where's the kid?

I mean, he's the one
with the issues.

He's riding his bike.

He was too mad to ride
in the car with you.

Here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna smile,

we're gonna shine
this lady on, right?

We're gonna act
like the waltons,

hence the, uh,
fashion statement.

And the kid, he was, uh,

up in the tree,
uh, saving a cat.

Bang. We're out of here in
time for lunch. No. No.

Danny's principal is going to
be following up with this,

so you're gonna go in there,

you're gonna confess
to being a monster,

you're gonna show some
remorse, promise to change,

and... and say you love Danny
more than life itself.

Otherwise, we're getting a
one-way ticket to cape town.

Why don't you take a breath?

What?

Oh, God.

Oh.

So, I'm in therapy? Who isn't?

Let me guess.

You're working on your
impulse-control problem?

I bet I look smoking hot

in my super-sad
therapy lipstick.

"Dang it!"

I have an eating disorder.

Good luck with that.

From what you're telling me,

it sounds like the
incident at school

was a reaction to your
grandfather's outburst at home.

Yeah.

I mean, I didn't
know what to do.

And now Vanessa hates me.

The truth is, my dad has
had a long, tough life

of heartache and dead ends.

He's had some anger issues,

but he has come a
long, long way,

and I am sure that
he is embarrassed

that he let his anger
get the best of him

with that solar-panel guy,

but I'm sure he'd like
to say a few words.

Mr. gannon?

Uh, she's right.

I am... So very angry right
now I can barely speak.

Terrific.

What are you angry about?

It's a long list.

Please tell the nice doctor.

Fine.

She... Is numero uno.

Dad!

I would not have been
at the house that night

if I didn't feel that
I had to protect him

from his nut-bag mother.

Protect him from what?

She's smothering him to death.

Frankly, it's just tearing
our family apart.

But if I were you,

I would concentrate
on the nut bag.

There is a huge difference

in wanting to be involved
in your son's life

and microwaving a cellphone.

Danny, have you been
feeling smothered?

Yes. Yes, I have.

She's all over me.

Look at her.

She's holding my hand
with both of her hands.

Oh. Honey, I am sorry.

I didn't even realize
that was bothering you.

Unlike my father here,

I am willing to acknowledge

when my actions affect others.

Honey, I am so sorry.

You're right. I am
smothering you.

And you know what? From
this point forward,

I am going to back off and
give you as much space

as you could possibly need.

Thank you.

And that, dear father,

is how you do therapy.

Well, it's... Okay.

I win.

Father.

Where are you?

I just had the follow-up meeting
with Danny's principal.

Had to massage the truth a
little about our session,

but I think we are
cape-free for now.

Listen, this new phone
that you got me,

I have no con... where...
where are my contacts?

I can't find them. Unbelievable!

I am here trying to fix Danny's
life after you ruined it,

and all you care about is
your stupid cellphone?

Well, look, the guy told me
to plug it into a computer,

but I'm not doing that.

Dad! What?

Wrong phone!

Who do you have to call anyway?

My guy at the dog track.

What are you, a cop?
Goodbye, dad.

Hey, Vanessa.

Hey, coach Terry.

Listen...

I feel really badly about
how things went with Danny.

None of it was his fault.

He was very embarrassed by it,

and he feels terrible,

and I just don't think you
realize how much he likes you.

Probably shouldn't be
doing this, but...

Just between us girls,

this is from the night you
kissed him on the cheek.

You're the man! The man!

So adorable. Who the man?

I'm the man!

Who the man? I'm the man!

That just happened!

Mom!

Privacy!

Mom!

Oh!

Danny, I am so sorry.

Just please, please,
please come down

before principal
Rodriguez sees you.

What a weirdo.

Hey, Nick.

I got to say, I'm surprised

to be sitting here
with you again.

I thought after
our last session,

you guys were all set.
Seriously?

No. That's me joking.

Would you consider going
out with a patient?

Oh, my God. Just asking.

Only if they're crazy, older,

and obsessed with baseball.

Gin?

Perfect. Well, let's
go right now.

Seriously? No. Not even close.

All right, Danny, why
don't we start with you?

What happened?

Now s ruined my life, okay?

Vanessa thinks I'm a freak.

Hey, I told you, doc.

It is now your chance to
be in the cuckoo chair.

I was trying to fix
things with Vanessa.

Tell me how showing her that
video of me is fixing things.

The way I see it, doc,

my daughter here has
a lot of problems.

And if you allowed me
to speak for her...

no, actually, you can't, okay?
So zip it.

Zip it? Who are you talking...
yeah, you heard me.

All right. All right. All right.

When emotions run high, I
find it's often helpful

to begin by saying,
"I feel" or "I hear."

Perfect.

Great. Yeah. Uh...
I'll go first.

I hear, Dr. Jane,

that you're kind of annoying.

And I hear you think
you're better than me,

and I hear that you
should shut your face

about things you
know nothing about.

Good use of "I hear."
Seriously, Jane,

you're starting to piss me off.

Keep digging right there, Jane,

because that's where the
crazy gold is, right there.

Terry, is it possible

that when you showed
Vanessa that video,

you knew it was a bad idea?
What?

No. That...

that would make me
a horrible mother.

Not a horrible mother.

Maybe a mother who's
afraid of something.

Careful, Jane.

Finish her off, doc.

Is it possible that
you tried to sabotage

your son's relationship
with Vanessa

because you're afraid
of losing him?

No.

No!

No. Terry.

That's exactly what
I've been doing.

I have been smothering you

because you are just
growing up so fast.

And I am.

I am. I am afraid of losing you.

It's okay, mom.

No, it's not.

You're my mom, okay? I'm
not going anywhere.

What's crazy...

Is that I want you to go
out and live your life.

That's why we left Michigan.
That's why we moved in with him.

I would do absolutely
anything for you, buddy.

I love you, and I'm sorry.

It's all right, mom.
I love you, too.

Honey, if it'll make
you feel any better,

given the family track record,
his life will turn to crap

and he'll move back in
with us anyway. See?

Hey, dad?

Shut up.

Hey.

Hey.

I just wanted to say, I
think it's really cool

you're in therapy and
working your stuff out.

Oh, well, thank you, Terry.
I-I'll see you later.

And if you ever want to
talk about it, I'd love to.

Yeah, not now.

I-it's not a good time
really at a... aah!

It's not about what
I'm eating, okay?

It's about what's eating me.

Do you realize we spent
$400 to point out

that you and I are both crazy?

Oh, please, I know that.

I could've bought,
what, at least two

of those solar panels
for that price.

Mr. the Cannon, I
made you a bracelet!

Owen!

He said he made you a bracelet!

Thanks, dong.

Aw. Look at him over there.

I just want to go
give him a hug.

Hey, back off a
little, will you?

A little heartbreak
is good for that kid.

He's got to learn to
deal with it somehow...

Until he's 21, then
he can handle it

when there are, you know,
other ways to deal with it,

you know?

Just so you know, I liked it.

Your karate dance.

It was kind of awesome.

Shut up. I know you
think I'm a freak.

A little bit, but
that's why I like you.

So, um, how's your
science project?

Not so good.

I can't get the stupid craft

to... Hover, you know?

You should've stuck with me.

I mean, besides being
an awesome dancer,

I'm also really smart.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'll talk to
my mom about it.

She likes you.

Kid does pretty good
on his own, huh?

You know, the cool
thing about therapy

is that I learned
I'm not perfect,

but I have found ways
to improve myself

for the sake of my family.

What? You haven't done anything
for the sake of your family.

No apology. Nothing.

So, is there something that
you would like to say?

Like my man dong over here, I'm
a man of action, not words.

Isn't that right, dong?

No words.

Three... Two... One.

Hover!

Yes! That just happened!

We did it! Oh, my God!

Cheers. Cheers.

Hey.

What have you been doing
outside this whole time?

Don't ask me things.

Cannon! Cannon!
It totally works.

Do you want to see it?
Mm, no. Not really.

Why don't you guys come
outside with me for a minute?

I got something to show you.
Come on.

Where are you taking them?
I'm nervous.

Shh.

Okay, now.

Since you guys both
finished your work,

I thought maybe you'd
like to see a movie.

Did you find our old
film projector?

And, uh, I spoke to your mom.

She said no problem.

Do you?

Sure.

Let her in.

What?

Open the door for her, you mook.
Come on.

What? Oh!

Thanks.

Uh, you're welcome.

Oh, dad, this is so amazing.

Yeah, it's pretty great.

I am pretty great. Mm.

"Three coins in the fountain"?

Isn't that the movie you took
mom to on your first date?

Yeah. Yeah. First date.

We watched it and went back
to my place, and we made it.

Okay, you don't always have
to include that last detail.

True.

Love.

God, this so adorable.

I'm sorry. I

I have to at least take one...

wow. Just let it be.

Oh, come on. You got
to let me have this.

Just leave them alone. Okay.

I just want one.

♪ Who's a good mom?
You're a good mom ♪

♪ I'm the very best mom
there is, what you say? ♪

♪ Who's a good mom?
You're a good mom ♪

♪ I'm the very best
mom there is ♪

♪ Hit it!

♪ T-e-r-r-y

♪ so good at momming
that makes you cry ♪

♪ T-e-r-r-y

♪ so good at momming
that it makes... ♪

- Danny!
- Boom!

See you on the Internet, mom.

Privacy!

"Privacy. Privacy."

I said go away!