Back in the Game (2013–2014): Season 1, Episode 11 - Color Barrier - full transcript

Oh, boy.

You know, Donny,
you and the Angles

are starting to
look not terrible.

His name is Danny.

Who? Your grandson.
His name is Danny.

Well, what did I say?
You know what you said.

What, you never
heard of nicknames?

Donny is a name, not a nickname.

What's the difference
what I call him?

He knows who I'm talking to.

Y-you know, mom, I really don't mind.
But that's not the point.



It is a sign of respect

to call someone by
their actual name.

Look. People call me the Cannon.
I rest my case.

I call people what I call
them for a few reasons.

What, like you can't
remember their names?

That's one.

It's also a sign of familiarity,
uh, a bond, if you will.

It's old school.

The old school of insensitivity?

The Bronx.

Mm-hmm. So, what are
we practicing today?

Some old-school ideas.

Here you go. Here's
the way we throw.

See... right, left.



This is called the
elephant walk, guys.

This is way we hit... left.

It's all rhythm.

All right, hold it.
Hold it. Hold it.

Black kid, come up.

You've seen a lot of elephants

in your native country, right?

You lead the way. Go ahead.

Left, right. Come on, rhythm.

You got to bend over. Make believe
the grass is cheese. Get down.

All right, hey, boys. This
is an old-school exercise.

It teaches us how to release
the head of this bat

so we get full extension,
a straight line out.

Throw it over that tree.

Release the head
of the bat, okay?

Towelhead, let's show
them how to do it. Ready?

All right, just let it
go just like a tomahawk.

Boom. Just let it rip.
Let it go.

Whoa! That's great.

Take that, Israel, huh?

No?

Block the ball. Block it.

Don't flag it.

Don't flag it.

Good, good!

Wax on, wax off.

You got it. The kid gets it.

You see? It's in his blood.

Now we can begin
to play baseball.

Black kid, listen up.

Feel the ball, throw
it to the bag.

Towelhead, come over to second,

fire the ball to coffee
and cream, all right?

You got that, girly?

Dong, when I hit the ball,

you're gonna run to first...
straight.

Remember, you're not
driving, you're running.

Run.

Cannon, language.

What? They talk English.

Name-calling? I got to
deal with this now, too?

Well, half of youth baseball

is dealing with
complaints from parents.

You knew that, Dick. Don't
tell me things I know, Stan.

That's not helpful.

I haven't seen a buildup of
parent hysteria like this

since Van Halen
toured with AC/DC.

I blame myself.

Uh, I blame you, too.

I should have said
something to the Cannon.

But, quite frankly,
he terrifies me.

Shut up, Stan.

All right, fat kid, ball.

All right, let's see it work.

Oh! Oh!

All right!

Way to go! Way to go, Angles!

First double play.

Yes!

All right! Way to
throw, big guy!

You'll be the captain.

- See what I did?
- What you did?

What do you think I've been doing
with these kids the whole time?

Losing. Hey, you walked
into that one, all right?

Yeah.

Listen, I am so proud of you guys.
I'm so proud.

Dick, did you see that?

Uh, no. I must have turned
away at just the right moment.

Terry, look, can I talk
to you for a second?

It's about league business.
About my hotness?

I'm actually serious.
About my serious hotness?

Are you done? Done
with my hotness?

Terry! I'm actually stressed
out about something.

Can we talk, please?
It's about your dad.

All right.

Cannon! Cannon! Cannon!
Cannon! Cannon!

Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Cannon!
Cannon! Cannon!

Okay.

Terry, why don't you have a seat...
There?

So, look.

There have been numerous reports

that your assistant coach...

and father.

I can handle this, Stan.

Sorry. I was giving context.

I know that!

Look, just assume from now on

that I know... everything.

I'll go ahead and shut it down.
Okay.

So, some parents have...

Some parents have been filming

your dad's insensitive
behavior with their phones.

And, um, well, you know what?

Just push "play" on there

and you'll see what
I'm talking about.

You, put the helmet on.
Go pinch run.

Why are you sending
hunter in to pinch run?

He's black.

I mean...

Come on. Get your glove ready.

Soft. Soft hands.

Like you're picking strawberries.
Well, that's...

If you damage them, you go
back to oaxaca, all right?

Oh. Ready?

Catch it!

Catch it like Liza was
throwing it off the stage.

Won't you do that, Broadway?

Please! Right.

Look, I know this
looks really bad,

but he doesn't mean it.

I mean, he loves these kids.

It's just his old-school ways.

Just his old-school ways?

Isn't that what all racists say?

Look, I can't have him
coaching with you anymore.

I can't do it. Look, I've
already talked to him.

I promise you... i promise
you it will stop.

No, this could explode
into a huge lawsuit,

okay, and it could
devastate the league.

I'm not gonna let that happen.
It is over.

No, it is not over.

League charter dictates that if
there is a perceived offense,

the parent or coach can
apologize first to the team.

If all kids vote to
forgive the offender,

then he/she can
apologize to the board

at the next league meeting.

At which point, it
would be put to vote

to decide on reinstatement.

You just recited the
charter word for word.

I knew this day would come.

Mm.

Dad, I saw something today.

That was old-school great
double play, thanks to me.

Yeah, well, the league
wants to kick you out

because of your old-school ways.

What are you talking about?

Dad, you can't refer to
the members of our team

by the color of their
skin or their ethnicity.

I don't do that. Chinaman kid?

He's a kid from China.

It's a nickname. Dad,
that's old-man racist talk.

No. No, it is not.

It's them being oversensitive.

Politically correct crap, okay?

This is all about the way I was raised.
That's what it's about.

I am so sick of the "I was
raised that way" excuse.

And then what? You went
to sleep for 50 years?

Dad, the world has moved
on and so should you.

For goodness sakes, we
have a black president.

Black president, see? That's
exactly what I call him.

The league has suspended you.

You can no longer
go on the field

until you apologize.

Well, fine.

I'm suspended

'cause I'm not apologizing

for calling my kids nicknames.

As a matter of fact,

I think everybody on that
field owes me an apology.

I'm not walking on that field
until people apologize to me.

Oh, God.

I don't need this, you old goat,

and I don't need you.

Oh, hey!

Enjoy your "matlock" reruns.

Ugh!

Okay, Angles, today,
we are gonna have

a new-school kind
of practice, okay?

There will be no name-calling
and nothing negative.

It's just gonna be you and me.

We're gonna get out there,
we're gonna be positive,

and we're gonna get better!

Now, Angles, take the field!
Hit it!

You're a winner. You're a winner.
You're a winner.

You're a winner. You're the big winner.
Oh, thanks.

All right, all right. Good.

Okay, Angles, let's get two!

Oh, uh, dong? Uh, sweetie?

Could you please stand up?

And, uh... and no texting!

Hey, look over there.

Ow! Ow!

Oh, guys! Guys, guys, guys!

Hey, if you don't break them up,

they're going to have
a cain/abel incident.

Ow!

Coach Terry, I'm going home.

Why? I don't know.

It's not safe out there.

Angles! We need to stay focused!

Okay, can we focus?

This is new school! W-we
need to stay positive!

Oh, oh, guys! Guys! Guys! Guys!

You need the Cannon back.
I do not!

Sweetie.

Okay, who hasn't gotten a
game ball for practice yet?

No one deserves a game ball.

That was anarchy out there.

Oh, but you guys gave it 100%.
It was a great effort.

That never would have happened
if the Cannon was here.

This is going in the
wrong direction, mom.

You're not yelling at us enough!

Or calling us enough names.
What?

It seems we respond to that.

You're being too nice.

We miss the Cannon.

The Cannon rolls old school.

Well, that old school got
him kicked out of here.

So, from now on, we're
gonna do it my way,

and my way's gonna be fun.

Blah, blah, blah.

We need a coach,
not a cheerleader.

So, are you gonna be stubborn,

or are you gonna get the
Cannon back out here?

Hey, I am not the
one being stubborn.

Well, I guess we know who
the better coach was.

He means the Cannon.

Shut up, Stan.

So, practice didn't
go very well, huh?

How did you know that?

Uh, the chinaman kid...
he just texted me.

And he was, you
know, very upset.

You text with dong?

Yeah, you know, he helped
me set up my phone.

And, uh, we both like
Jackie chan movies.

Awesome. So, listen.

You say you need me

and I will strongly
consider apologizing.

Why don't you just apologize
because you know you are wrong?

Wrong? Listen. I'm
helping these kids.

I'm trying to get
them through life.

You think their bosses are gonna
call them by their first names?

Yes! No.

Yes. No.

Not on the docks. Not
in the coal factories.

Coal factory? That's not
even how coal is made.

I see. So, now you
know how coal is made.

Look. This all boils down
to you being selfish.

What?! And, quite frankly,
it's not helping the team.

You just will not admit

that that new-school
stuff doesn't work

and that the only
thing that does work

is the old-school stuff.

That's what gets it done.

Dad, the kids are
responding to you,

not what you are calling them.

Well, I am who I am and I'm
not changing, all right?

And if you continue
teaching this new stuff,

it's gonna get worse and
worse and maybe even worse.

And then, my dear, you
will be calling me.

"Oh, dad? Dad?"

Worse and worse.

Maybe we haven't gone
new school enough.

And they will get worse.

Ha!

What do you think, darling?
Too much?

Mother, heels would be too much.

You're practically understated.

Wow, Lulu.

You look like Elton
John in drag.

Let's go warm up.

So, why exactly

have you asked me to
help coach, darling?

Because you know absolutely
nothing about baseball.

Great. Fabulous. What?

Yep. I need this team
to get worse quickly.

Once the Cannon sees what
you have done with them,

he will not be able to
get here fast enough.

So, basically you're using me.

Well, I figured
you'd be up for it.

Not my first day at the rodeo.

All right, Angles!
Bring it on in!

All right.

Lulu here is your new
assistant coach.

Listen very closely to
everything she has to say.

Okay, well, I want you to
hold hands and form a circle

because we are going to
play a little game called

"skip around the cricket pitch."

Dong...

Do your magic.

Cannon.

Cannon! Listen to me.

I'm gonna speak for all the
parents in this league.

You shouldn't be out there.

Your kids deserve
better lessons.

You're bullying,
insensitive, and mean.

You gonna stop me? Yeah.

Nope! I'm gonna
call a park ranger.

And huh and huh and knee.

Lulu, what are you doing here?

W-what's that black Richard
Simmons doing out on my mound?

What is he doing?

Cardio then core.

Cannon, y-you got
to help us, okay?

Lulu's making us look even
weirder than we already are.

Right. I... Cannon, you're
not allowed to be here.

Dick's gonna call the cops.

Oh, the cops are the
least of my worries.

Did you take a look at this?
Look at this.

Well, you said you wanted
new school, so here you go.

Look, I had to bring Lulu on

because you didn't
give me a choice.

I'm a single mom. I
can't do this alone.

Hello!

Oh, Antoine, darling!

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Who are you?

Antoine. Pilates...

listen.

I know what you're doing.

This show of freaks
here, this whole thing,

you're just doing this
to get my blood to boil

so I have to apologize.
And why can't you?

I've had to talk to each of these kids'
parents just to keep them on the team.

They love you.

I-I didn't do anything wrong.

I need you, okay?

Cannon...

Help us, please.

Hey, Angles!

Come on around.
Come on, everybody.

Look, uh...

The league, uh, they... they
threw me out, you know?

I mean, I-i can't be here

because I wasn't calling
you guys by your names.

So, I, uh... I'm sorry.

You know, I didn't mean
to insult anybody.

You know, I want to coach
you guys, and, uh...

I like it and I
want to come back.

Okay, so, uh, show of hands...

and everyone has to vote...

if you want the
Cannon to come back.

Parvu?

You forgot to raise your hand.

No, I didn't. I don't
want him back.

Coach Cannon, your
words hurt me.

Without every kid's
vote, Cannon,

you got to get off this field.

Yeah.

The league of dorks.

League of idiots, morons,

communist bloodsucking pigs!

Dad, what are you doing?

I am making veal piccata.

Here.

Wow, that is the thinnest veal

I've ever seen.

I-it's like meat paper.

Cannon, I know this
world is changing

in ways that you don't like,

but maybe changing with it
wouldn't be the worst thing.

I tried.

I apologized.

And it's not my fault that
your shortstop is stubborn

and wears a weird towel hat.

Okay.

So, I guess it's over then.

So, why don't you just quit?

And we already covered racial
insensitivity earlier in the week.

This would just be another
great lesson for Danny.

What would you like me to do?

Figure it out.

It's not that hard.

Figure it out, Cannon.

Please.

I'm taking a walk.

Wow, you are really good
at pushing his buttons.

Hey, you were not
so bad yourself.

High five. Yes. That
was really good.

Yeah, that was...
don't touch that.

Parv, got a visitor.

What is he doing here?

Hey. Manners.

Sorry, father.

How you doing, parvu?

Don't you mean towelhead kid?

Or is it camel jockey?

Or curry muncher.

Yeah. Dot head.

And we got cow kisser.
We got mushroom head.

And flat-out genie.

I get it. I don't know.

I just came by to say, uh,
I think you're a great kid

and, uh

I'm really sorry I
hurt your feelings.

Y-you're really my favorite
ball player out there

and I think you really
got some talent.

Then why do you insult me?

No, see, I... i-i don't
mean it like that.

In my old neighborhood,
everybody had a nickname.

Stevie the gimp,
Sammy the black guy,

franny the whore...

uh... Whores know
money, you know?

Anyway, the point is
I-i loved them all.

Here's what you don't get, Mr.
Gannon.

Look at him.

It's hard enough for
him looking different

while still honoring your faith.

It hurts when a coach
who he likes very much

says stuff like that.

You know, it took a lot of guts

for you to stand up there today
and not raise your hand.

And, um...

Anyway, you have
a-an awesome son.

Good night.

Hey... hey, coach? Yeah?

You know, there's
a sikh teaching

that says, "love me when
I least deserve it"

because that is when
I really need it."

And in that spirit,

I'd like you to come
back and coach.

Okay, uh, please
state your name.

What is it with you? You know my name.
All right.

Let the record note
that Terry Gannon Sr.

Is at the lectern.

Take it away, Cannon.

Make your case for
reinstatement.

Right.

Well, you said I had to come
down here and apologize

for some of the names I've been
calling my kids on the Angles.

Correct.

Well, I'm sorry.

I am sorry...

That all you people are bunch
of wacko hypocrite asshats.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

Apologies do nothing.

Change is different.

I guess I've been
emotionally asleep

for quite a long time...

something my daughter's
been trying to tell me.

But because of her and the
Angles, I think, uh...

I think I'm just
starting to wake up.

So, uh, better than apologizing,

um, I'm gonna try to change.

That's fine, Cannon,

but, you know, we're actually
looking for remorse.

We have a moral
obligation to these kids.

A moral obligation? Yeah.

If these kids are
so special to you,

if they're so special, how come you
haven't drafted any one of them?

Not one of them. Nobody
wanted these kids.

My little girl had
to start a new team

just so these kids could play.

I mean, you've got six
teams in this league

and five of them are all white.

Is that true?

Uh, yeah.

Oh, that's not good.

Hit there, dong.

I think...

it's time you guys took a...

just a real good long
look at yourselves.

Okay.

Well, the Angles...

well, they're the
face of America,

and your team...

I don't know. They're
like Norway.

I mean, I may have used
some questionable language,

but it's something
I grew up with.

But as far as, uh, these
big apologies go,

it's not happening.

But I will to my kids.

So, hunter, Vanessa,

dong, Danny boy...

parvu...

michael, angel,

Vince and Vance,

and the fat kid. Dudley.

What, the guy's white?

Okay. Dudley.

I'm really...

Really, uh, very sorry, guys.

Very sorry.

And, uh...

I'm so damn proud of you.

That's pretty much all I got.

So if you want to kick me
out for that, kick me out.

Boy, I don't know. That
was a great speech.

Mm, you're out.

Dick, we have to take a vote.

Okay, fine.

All in favor of Terry Gannon Sr.

Being reinstated to coach the
Angles, raise your hands.

Double dang it!

Terry Gannon Sr.
Coaches the Angles.

Don't hug me in public, okay?

Oh, shut up, you old goat.

Hey, boys.

Cannon! Cannon! Cannon!

All right, you guys. It's your turn.
Take your best shot.

Who's going first?

I'll go first.

Go ahead.

You're so old

that when you tell people
you saw "Titanic,"

they think you mean
from a lifeboat.

Whoa! Oh!

Good.

You have so many blue
lines on your arms,

you could be a road map.

Ohh. Ohh. Ohh. Ohh.

When people say you
look like a million,

they mean years old.

Ohh. Ohh. Ohh. That's cold.

All right.

I've seen dead birds with
clearer eyes than you.

Ooh.

When are you gonna tell
your hair that it's dead?

Good.

Your mama's so fat...

what'd you say about my mama?

Well, I've never
met her in person,

but I'm assuming
she's big and fat.

Nice.