Axe Cop (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 9 - When Night Creatures Attack - full transcript
Axe Cop and Flute Cop track down the Sun Thieves before the world is torn apart by Night Creatures.
All right, we're gonna do
one story tonight,
but it's gonna be
your favorite story.
Are you ready for your favorite
bedtime story, Uni-Baby?
"The Night Creatures."
"Parents in the future
sometimes have to send
their babies back in time.
So they send them into space
in baby spaceships.
Sometimes a baby will
accidentally push
the ship's 'get out' button.
And the babies will
float into space
where the night creatures
will get them."
"The night creatures
use their claws
to transform the babies
into baby
night creatures."
"And send them to planet earth
where they wait until nighttime
to come out
and steal earth babies.
But the sun helps
keep earth babies safe...
For now."
Okay, Uni-Baby.
One day,
at the scene of the fire
the cop found the perfect axe.
That was the day
he became Axe Cop!
So he had tryouts
and hired a partner.
I will chop your heads off!
Axe Cop
01x09 - When Night Creatures Attack
Flute Cop!
Let's get to work.
Morning, honey.
You want breakfast?
No no no. Axe Cop and I will grab
something on the way to work.
Hey, don't forget. Today's
Uni-Baby's first day of baby school.
Oh honey, I wish I could go with you.
I feel like I'm missing everything.
You are, honey.
Now get to work.
You know how Axe Cop gets
when he has to wait.
I'm going nuts out here!
Okay, okay!
Stop honking.
We live in a residential
neighborhood.
I gotta go.
You guys don't get it.
It's crazy.
I mean, they grow up so fast.
Baby school already?
In a blink of an eye,
I'll be taking her to baby college.
And then what?
Baby grown-up life and
she won't need me anymore.
She'll be just living
her baby grown-up life.
You need another minute, sir?
He's done talking.
I'll have a piece
of birthday cake.
- Oh, is it your birthday, officer?
- No.
- Oh. And for you, sir?
- The ushe.
Chocolate chip pancakes with
whipped cream, por favor.
Sorry, sir.
We're no longer serving breakfast.
You'll have to order
from the dinner menu.
Wait, what's going on?
Order off the dinner menu?
What what, are there,
hidden cameras somewhere?
- It's-it's breakfast time.
- Oh really?
Then why is the sun
setting, genius?
The sun's not setting.
It's being stolen.
Let's go!
That's madness.
Who would steal the sun?
The sun thieves.
We need to find them,
kill them,
and steal the sun back.
Correct me if I'm wrong,
Axe Cop,
but last time I checked
the sun's too hot to touch.
That's why we need
sun-picking-up gloves.
That's perfect.
There's a superhero glove store
for cops and warriors downtown.
We can be there in 10,
15 minutes at the most.
Not if we drive through
this police barricade!
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
- Oh no! They're closed.
- Let me handle this guy.
Excuse me, friend? Hi.
Yeah, we need to pick up
some sun-picking-up gloves
before you lock up.
Sorry, we're closed.
We're a daytime store.
But it's eight in the morning.
Not at night.
Tell that to the sun, genius.
Now I gotta go get
to my night class.
I'm not looking to work at a
glove store the rest of my life.
- Axe Cop, what are we gonna do?
- I have the perfect plan.
Morning, ma'am.
Yeah, just doing a routine
glass check here.
Hyah.
It's glass, all right.
We're done here.
I also got myself some monster
gloves for Halloween.
They're perfect for
my Wolveye costume.
Now let's go kill
some sun thieves!
Move out of the way!
We're in a hurry!
Axe Cop always has
the right of way!
Pull over, Axe Cop.
It's the normal cops.
I hate normal cops.
You said it, bro.
Do you know how fast
you were going, Axe Cop?
Of course I do.
The fastest.
I know you're just
doing your job, officer,
but we are in a serious hurry.
Someone is stealing the sun.
Well, that sounds like a job
for a normal cop.
As it seems to me, son,
you need to be reminded what
separates you from normal cops.
- The night creatures are coming.
- Night creatures?
That's just a story you read
to your baby to scare it.
Wrong.
The night creatures are real.
Night creatures.
That's a nice...
Oh no! They're real.
Shh shh shh shh.
Okay, okay. They're gone.
- I think we're safe.
- Wrong.
The night creatures are going
to throw us off that cliff.
Wait, what?
Let's see how this plays out.
Oh hey, Axe Cop.
Everything okay?
We've gotten reports
of night creatures in the neighborhood.
We need to take your babies until
this blows over for safe keeping.
Okay.
Whatever you say, Axe Cop.
Axe Cop!
Keep holding on, buddy.
Come on.
- No.
- Wait, what?
- Hello?
- Anita, where's Uni-Baby?
What do you mean?
I just gave her to you guys.
That wasn't us!
That was the night creatures
dressed up to look like us!
The night creatures
have Uni-Baby?
Anita, don't worry.
We're on our way.
Axe Cop,
let's go save Uni-Baby.
There's no time.
We have to save the sun.
But Uni-Baby needs us.
Wrong. Uni-Baby needs you.
The world needs me.
Flute Cop,
is it really you this time
or are you a night creature?
You tell me.
Muah.
No night creature
can kiss like that.
Anita, baby,
listen to me, and listen good.
The night creatures live in a secret
cave in the center of the earth.
They've put Uni-Baby inside
a very special kind of moon rock
that is slowly transforming her
into one of them.
To save her,
we need to be very sneaky.
Like ninjas.
Now let's go save our daughter.
What are you gonna buy with your cut
of the money once we unload the sun?
I'm gonna buy an ocean.
Fill it with good water.
You know,
none of that salty stuff.
Then I'm gonna train all the
sharks to do tricks for me.
You sure this is where your
uncle told us to meet him?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
- How can you be sure?
- We're in the middle of space.
- I know.
That's exactly where
he told us to meet him.
He told you to meet him
in the middle of space?
He wasn't any more specific?
Wait, wait. There's your uncle.
On his flying dinosaur.
Uh, my uncle doesn't have
a flying dinosaur.
It's Axe Cop.
It's Axe Cop, go!
Go, go!
Uni-Baby, where are you?
Keep looking.
Where are you, honey?
Flute Cop, I found her.
Uni-Baby. Don't worry.
Mommy and daddy are here.
Anita, stand back.
- Watch out!
- Cover your ears.
Run!
We gotta stop them before they
disappear into that black hole.
Axe Cop, spike strip!
Axe Cop, we can explain.
Uh, this just a big
misunderstanding, mate.
I'm sure we can clear this up.
I wrote down exactly
what happened
on this here one dollar bill.
See?
No big deal.
You could not be
more wrong, my friend.
It's a huge deal. Because of
you, all the babies on earth
are probably gonna get turned
into night creatures.
You said no one
would get hurt, Ben.
What are you doing using
my real name for, scoot?
- We talked about this.
- Look, Axe Cop, I got an idea.
What if we apologize to you
and you let us go?
That sounds pretty fair to me.
These guys seem
pretty sorry about all this.
Maybe we should
just let them go.
I got a better idea.
Ah-ha!
Teleported them
to space jail, huh?
No, I killed them.
Now let's start carrying
the sun towards earth.
Go go!
- We're not gonna make it in time.
- Yes we will.
We have to throw the sun
on the count of...
Now!
- Aah!
- Flute Cop!
Axe Cop, we could use
the sun right about now.
Anita, baby, we did it.
No, Axe Cop did it.
Yeah, we did it, buddy.
No, I did it.
Laser high-five!
If your baby is still human,
come collect it
from the baby pile.
Here you go.
That's a cute little
one, isn't it?
And this one's for you, sir.
Catch.
But if your baby was turned
into a night creature,
then you're going to
have to remarry
and start a new family.
one story tonight,
but it's gonna be
your favorite story.
Are you ready for your favorite
bedtime story, Uni-Baby?
"The Night Creatures."
"Parents in the future
sometimes have to send
their babies back in time.
So they send them into space
in baby spaceships.
Sometimes a baby will
accidentally push
the ship's 'get out' button.
And the babies will
float into space
where the night creatures
will get them."
"The night creatures
use their claws
to transform the babies
into baby
night creatures."
"And send them to planet earth
where they wait until nighttime
to come out
and steal earth babies.
But the sun helps
keep earth babies safe...
For now."
Okay, Uni-Baby.
One day,
at the scene of the fire
the cop found the perfect axe.
That was the day
he became Axe Cop!
So he had tryouts
and hired a partner.
I will chop your heads off!
Axe Cop
01x09 - When Night Creatures Attack
Flute Cop!
Let's get to work.
Morning, honey.
You want breakfast?
No no no. Axe Cop and I will grab
something on the way to work.
Hey, don't forget. Today's
Uni-Baby's first day of baby school.
Oh honey, I wish I could go with you.
I feel like I'm missing everything.
You are, honey.
Now get to work.
You know how Axe Cop gets
when he has to wait.
I'm going nuts out here!
Okay, okay!
Stop honking.
We live in a residential
neighborhood.
I gotta go.
You guys don't get it.
It's crazy.
I mean, they grow up so fast.
Baby school already?
In a blink of an eye,
I'll be taking her to baby college.
And then what?
Baby grown-up life and
she won't need me anymore.
She'll be just living
her baby grown-up life.
You need another minute, sir?
He's done talking.
I'll have a piece
of birthday cake.
- Oh, is it your birthday, officer?
- No.
- Oh. And for you, sir?
- The ushe.
Chocolate chip pancakes with
whipped cream, por favor.
Sorry, sir.
We're no longer serving breakfast.
You'll have to order
from the dinner menu.
Wait, what's going on?
Order off the dinner menu?
What what, are there,
hidden cameras somewhere?
- It's-it's breakfast time.
- Oh really?
Then why is the sun
setting, genius?
The sun's not setting.
It's being stolen.
Let's go!
That's madness.
Who would steal the sun?
The sun thieves.
We need to find them,
kill them,
and steal the sun back.
Correct me if I'm wrong,
Axe Cop,
but last time I checked
the sun's too hot to touch.
That's why we need
sun-picking-up gloves.
That's perfect.
There's a superhero glove store
for cops and warriors downtown.
We can be there in 10,
15 minutes at the most.
Not if we drive through
this police barricade!
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
- Oh no! They're closed.
- Let me handle this guy.
Excuse me, friend? Hi.
Yeah, we need to pick up
some sun-picking-up gloves
before you lock up.
Sorry, we're closed.
We're a daytime store.
But it's eight in the morning.
Not at night.
Tell that to the sun, genius.
Now I gotta go get
to my night class.
I'm not looking to work at a
glove store the rest of my life.
- Axe Cop, what are we gonna do?
- I have the perfect plan.
Morning, ma'am.
Yeah, just doing a routine
glass check here.
Hyah.
It's glass, all right.
We're done here.
I also got myself some monster
gloves for Halloween.
They're perfect for
my Wolveye costume.
Now let's go kill
some sun thieves!
Move out of the way!
We're in a hurry!
Axe Cop always has
the right of way!
Pull over, Axe Cop.
It's the normal cops.
I hate normal cops.
You said it, bro.
Do you know how fast
you were going, Axe Cop?
Of course I do.
The fastest.
I know you're just
doing your job, officer,
but we are in a serious hurry.
Someone is stealing the sun.
Well, that sounds like a job
for a normal cop.
As it seems to me, son,
you need to be reminded what
separates you from normal cops.
- The night creatures are coming.
- Night creatures?
That's just a story you read
to your baby to scare it.
Wrong.
The night creatures are real.
Night creatures.
That's a nice...
Oh no! They're real.
Shh shh shh shh.
Okay, okay. They're gone.
- I think we're safe.
- Wrong.
The night creatures are going
to throw us off that cliff.
Wait, what?
Let's see how this plays out.
Oh hey, Axe Cop.
Everything okay?
We've gotten reports
of night creatures in the neighborhood.
We need to take your babies until
this blows over for safe keeping.
Okay.
Whatever you say, Axe Cop.
Axe Cop!
Keep holding on, buddy.
Come on.
- No.
- Wait, what?
- Hello?
- Anita, where's Uni-Baby?
What do you mean?
I just gave her to you guys.
That wasn't us!
That was the night creatures
dressed up to look like us!
The night creatures
have Uni-Baby?
Anita, don't worry.
We're on our way.
Axe Cop,
let's go save Uni-Baby.
There's no time.
We have to save the sun.
But Uni-Baby needs us.
Wrong. Uni-Baby needs you.
The world needs me.
Flute Cop,
is it really you this time
or are you a night creature?
You tell me.
Muah.
No night creature
can kiss like that.
Anita, baby,
listen to me, and listen good.
The night creatures live in a secret
cave in the center of the earth.
They've put Uni-Baby inside
a very special kind of moon rock
that is slowly transforming her
into one of them.
To save her,
we need to be very sneaky.
Like ninjas.
Now let's go save our daughter.
What are you gonna buy with your cut
of the money once we unload the sun?
I'm gonna buy an ocean.
Fill it with good water.
You know,
none of that salty stuff.
Then I'm gonna train all the
sharks to do tricks for me.
You sure this is where your
uncle told us to meet him?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
- How can you be sure?
- We're in the middle of space.
- I know.
That's exactly where
he told us to meet him.
He told you to meet him
in the middle of space?
He wasn't any more specific?
Wait, wait. There's your uncle.
On his flying dinosaur.
Uh, my uncle doesn't have
a flying dinosaur.
It's Axe Cop.
It's Axe Cop, go!
Go, go!
Uni-Baby, where are you?
Keep looking.
Where are you, honey?
Flute Cop, I found her.
Uni-Baby. Don't worry.
Mommy and daddy are here.
Anita, stand back.
- Watch out!
- Cover your ears.
Run!
We gotta stop them before they
disappear into that black hole.
Axe Cop, spike strip!
Axe Cop, we can explain.
Uh, this just a big
misunderstanding, mate.
I'm sure we can clear this up.
I wrote down exactly
what happened
on this here one dollar bill.
See?
No big deal.
You could not be
more wrong, my friend.
It's a huge deal. Because of
you, all the babies on earth
are probably gonna get turned
into night creatures.
You said no one
would get hurt, Ben.
What are you doing using
my real name for, scoot?
- We talked about this.
- Look, Axe Cop, I got an idea.
What if we apologize to you
and you let us go?
That sounds pretty fair to me.
These guys seem
pretty sorry about all this.
Maybe we should
just let them go.
I got a better idea.
Ah-ha!
Teleported them
to space jail, huh?
No, I killed them.
Now let's start carrying
the sun towards earth.
Go go!
- We're not gonna make it in time.
- Yes we will.
We have to throw the sun
on the count of...
Now!
- Aah!
- Flute Cop!
Axe Cop, we could use
the sun right about now.
Anita, baby, we did it.
No, Axe Cop did it.
Yeah, we did it, buddy.
No, I did it.
Laser high-five!
If your baby is still human,
come collect it
from the baby pile.
Here you go.
That's a cute little
one, isn't it?
And this one's for you, sir.
Catch.
But if your baby was turned
into a night creature,
then you're going to
have to remarry
and start a new family.