Axe Cop (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 10 - 28 Days Before - full transcript
It's Thanksgiving and Axe Cop hasn't been seen since Halloween. How will his team celebrate Thanksgiving without him?
Check it out, bros.
I brought my world-famous string cheese
and ketchup casserole,
and the potato salad should be here
right about...
now!
- Liborg!
- What's up, best friend?
- This is my first Axe Thanksgiving.
- That's awesome.
- You're in for a real treat.
- Axe Cop makes the best Turkey.
Hey, where is Axe Cop?
He's probably still
with the farmer.
Why would Axe Cop
be with the farmer?
You see, each year on the
night before Thanksgiving,
Axe Cop gives back
to the community.
Okay, so first he sneaks
into the farmer's farm...
and does all the
farmer's chores, right?
He collects all the eggs,
he bales all the hay,
he milks the cows, the goats.-
Yeah, pretty much any animal
that could possibly be milked,
Axe Cop is gonna
milk that animal.
And then in the morning,
the farmer comes down and sees
that all of his chores
have been done for him.
Next, he goes hunting
in the magic forest.
All the animals are
super nice to him.
And they let Axe Cop go right
up to them so he can kill them.
Then Axe Cop
mails one dead animal
to every family in the world
to cook on Thanksgiving.
Now that's the
spirit of Thanksgiving.
Axe Cop is probably still with the farmer.
I'll give him a call.
This is the farmer.
Hey, farmer,
is Axe Cop still there?
That son of a gun
never showed up!
I'm going nuts here!
The farmer said
Axe Cop never showed up.
Oh no, where's Axe Cop?
He's missing!
Axe Cop is missing!
One day,
at the scene of the fire
the cop found the perfect axe.
That was the day
he became Axe Cop!
So he had tryouts
and hired a partner.
I will chop your heads off!
Axe Cop
01x10 - 28 Days Before
Oh, hey, Axe Cop.
Aren't you too old
to be trick-or-treating?
Too old to be
trick-or-treating alone.
Anita, can Flute Cop go
trick-or-treating with me tonight?
Of course,
but don't stay out too late.
Hey, look, even if I did
want to go trick-or-treating,
- I don't have a costume.
- Hmm. Give me that baby!
I wish for Flute Cop
to turn into Ghost Cop!
Oh, smoky.
The best part of your costume?
You can fly through bad guys
and leave grenade bombs
inside them!
Well, hopefully this evening
won't come to that.
Let's go!
Wolvi!
What the heck?
Raisins?
Hey, it's okay, buddy.
Halloween's just getting started.
Trick or treat!
Oh, aren't you
just adorable?
- I'm Axe Cop.
- No, you're not.
There's only one Axe Cop,
and he's dressed up
as a wolvi.
Now hand over
the candy, lady.
Well, isn't that
an interesting candy bucket?
You bet your
sweet bippy it is.
It glows in the dark.
It can light up the whole world.
Now hurry it up!
I'm never going to get
to 1,000 candies at this rate.
What the heck?
Pennies?
It's been like this
all night, Axe Cop.
I've hit every house
in the city.
No one has any candy.
Did you try the cul-de-sac
up by the golf course?
- Last year they had red licorice!
- This year... crayons.
- What about the big house on the hill?
- Bookmarks.
- Big, giant bookmarks.
- No! I hate books!
It's like all the candy
on earth is gone!
I'm done
trick-or-treating...
- Forever.
- Don't say that!
Too late. I just did.
Well, this Halloween has
been a certified bust.
I guess you win some
and I guess you lose some,
and this some we lost.
No, I always win some.
So buckle up, Ghost Cop,
we're not going home
until we have 1,000 candies!
But you heard the kid...
None of the houses have candy.
Wrong! He said none of the
houses on earth have candy.
Wexter!
I know a house that has the best candy.
To uni-planet!
Axe Cop, I don't see
uni-man's house anywhere.
Of course you don't.
It's invisible.
- It is? Why?
- So bad guys can't find it.
See? Over there.
- You feel anything?
- No. This guy is such a genius.
An invisible house.
Wait, I think I found something.
- An invisible doorknob.
- Awesome!
Trick or treat!
Axe Cop, Ghost Cop,
fantastic costumes.
Let me get you some candy.
- You know I have the best candy.
- See? I told you.
Impossible. This bowl was just filled
with those big-sized candy bars...
You know, like the ones
you get at the cinema...
- But now it's filled with...
- Raw vegetables?
Hmm. Something fishy
is going on.
Let's go to my uni-lab
and consult my C.T.M...
My candy tracking machine.
Hmm, if I adjust
the caramellometers
and scan for sugartivity,
Ah! There she is.
All the candy in the universe
seems to be heading to
Thanksgiving World.
- This is terrible!
- Wrong! It's fantastic!
Every year, I look for the perfect
house with the most candy,
and it looks
like we just found it.
There's just
one problem, Axe Cop,
despite its name, Thanksgiving world
is a very scary, dangerous planet
ruled by the one and only
"Turkey Turkey"
and his evil army
of evil pilgrim soldiers.
Let me pull up my T.T.F...
My Turkey Turkey file.
You see, if you don't clip
a Turkey's wings,
they will never stop growing.
And when Turkey Turkey
was a baby,
he dodged his master's
attempts to clip his wings.
He escaped his torment
and was able to grow
into a giant Turkey
with huge wings.
He was raised by falcons...
who taught him how to claw and
bite with his super sharp beak.
And if that weren't enough,
he can dive-bomb and throw razor-sharp
feathers hidden on his body.
Warning! Warning!
I beg you... do not go
to Thanksgiving planet.
It's a suicide mission.
Mmm.
Are you sure you should be
picking candy up off the ground?
Race you!
Hey, didn't you say
your candy bucket
- glows in the dark?
- Don't you know it.
Huh. That's weird.
This doesn't look like
a regular cave.
Mmm. It tastes like carrots,
celery and onions.
Oh no! Axe Cop,
it's mirepoix!
We're in a giant oven!
- Gobble gobble.
- If it isn't Turkey Turkey.
- Hand over the candy!
- Too late, Axe Cop!
I've already eaten it all.
There's no more candy
left in the universe.
But if there's no candy,
- there's no Halloween!
- Exactly,
and now Thanksgiving is the
best holiday in all of autumn.
Whoa! Wait, that's why
you wanna ruin Halloween?
Because it's better
than Thanksgiving?
Of course! How can Turkey
compete with candy?
It can't!
And from now on,
it don't have to.
Nice try, Turkey Turkey.
But you can't stop me.
I'm Axe Cop.
Oh no, it's tryptophan.
It's making me so tired.
Why don't you two take
a nice month-long nap?
I like my Thanksgiving dinner
well-rested.
Nighty-nighty.
Gobble gobble.
Gobble gobble gobble.
Happy Thanksgiving,
my evil pilgrims!
Gobble gobble gobble.
And what a special
Thanksgiving it is...
Axe Cop and Ghost Cop
are the main course!
Looks like we're finally
done for, good buddy.
But since
it is Thanksgiving,
I'm thankful I'm spending
my last moments with you.
I love you, man.
- Anything you wanna say to me?
- Yes.
While we were sleeping
for 28 days,
I dreamt that
we'd be saved by a man
with the power
of all the seasons.
- Huh.
- His name is Season Man,
and in my dream
I also learned
that he is married
and has quadruplets.
I'm afraid that
really doesn't help us.
Dreams are just dreams.
They're not real.
Not my dreams.
Everything I dream comes true.
Turkey Turkey!
- See?
- Season Man!
Ah!
Thanks for dreaming me up,
Axe Cop.
My pleasure, Season Man.
Oh!
I'm dying, Axe Cop.
Don't worry, Season Man.
Next time I fall asleep,
I'll dream up
the perfect father
to marry your wife and take
care of your quadruplets.
- Thanks, Axe Cop.
- Shh shh.
Save your strength...
for dying.
Well, Axe Cop, it looks like
I'm going to have to kill you
the old-fashioned way...
I'm going to rip you apart
and peck you to death.
There's only one problem...
When you weren't looking,
Ghost Cop flew through your body
and left a grenade bomb
inside of you.
Best Halloween costume ever.
Wait! What?
He's missing!
Axe Cop is missing!
If I were missing,
how could I be here?
Hey, Axe Cop!
Where have you been, bro?
It took a whole month, but I
finally collected 1,000 candies!
Yeah!
I'm gonna eat all of the candy
all at the same time! Yay!
- What about the Turkey?
- Liborg's right.
You can't have Thanksgiving
without no Turkey.
This year
we're not having Turkey.
Uh, what?
We're having Turkey Turkey.
- All right! Turkey Turkey!
- I call the leg!
- I want the wing!
- It's delicious!
What about you, Axe Cop? You a
white meat guy or dark meat guy?
Neither.
I'm a head meat guy.
I brought my world-famous string cheese
and ketchup casserole,
and the potato salad should be here
right about...
now!
- Liborg!
- What's up, best friend?
- This is my first Axe Thanksgiving.
- That's awesome.
- You're in for a real treat.
- Axe Cop makes the best Turkey.
Hey, where is Axe Cop?
He's probably still
with the farmer.
Why would Axe Cop
be with the farmer?
You see, each year on the
night before Thanksgiving,
Axe Cop gives back
to the community.
Okay, so first he sneaks
into the farmer's farm...
and does all the
farmer's chores, right?
He collects all the eggs,
he bales all the hay,
he milks the cows, the goats.-
Yeah, pretty much any animal
that could possibly be milked,
Axe Cop is gonna
milk that animal.
And then in the morning,
the farmer comes down and sees
that all of his chores
have been done for him.
Next, he goes hunting
in the magic forest.
All the animals are
super nice to him.
And they let Axe Cop go right
up to them so he can kill them.
Then Axe Cop
mails one dead animal
to every family in the world
to cook on Thanksgiving.
Now that's the
spirit of Thanksgiving.
Axe Cop is probably still with the farmer.
I'll give him a call.
This is the farmer.
Hey, farmer,
is Axe Cop still there?
That son of a gun
never showed up!
I'm going nuts here!
The farmer said
Axe Cop never showed up.
Oh no, where's Axe Cop?
He's missing!
Axe Cop is missing!
One day,
at the scene of the fire
the cop found the perfect axe.
That was the day
he became Axe Cop!
So he had tryouts
and hired a partner.
I will chop your heads off!
Axe Cop
01x10 - 28 Days Before
Oh, hey, Axe Cop.
Aren't you too old
to be trick-or-treating?
Too old to be
trick-or-treating alone.
Anita, can Flute Cop go
trick-or-treating with me tonight?
Of course,
but don't stay out too late.
Hey, look, even if I did
want to go trick-or-treating,
- I don't have a costume.
- Hmm. Give me that baby!
I wish for Flute Cop
to turn into Ghost Cop!
Oh, smoky.
The best part of your costume?
You can fly through bad guys
and leave grenade bombs
inside them!
Well, hopefully this evening
won't come to that.
Let's go!
Wolvi!
What the heck?
Raisins?
Hey, it's okay, buddy.
Halloween's just getting started.
Trick or treat!
Oh, aren't you
just adorable?
- I'm Axe Cop.
- No, you're not.
There's only one Axe Cop,
and he's dressed up
as a wolvi.
Now hand over
the candy, lady.
Well, isn't that
an interesting candy bucket?
You bet your
sweet bippy it is.
It glows in the dark.
It can light up the whole world.
Now hurry it up!
I'm never going to get
to 1,000 candies at this rate.
What the heck?
Pennies?
It's been like this
all night, Axe Cop.
I've hit every house
in the city.
No one has any candy.
Did you try the cul-de-sac
up by the golf course?
- Last year they had red licorice!
- This year... crayons.
- What about the big house on the hill?
- Bookmarks.
- Big, giant bookmarks.
- No! I hate books!
It's like all the candy
on earth is gone!
I'm done
trick-or-treating...
- Forever.
- Don't say that!
Too late. I just did.
Well, this Halloween has
been a certified bust.
I guess you win some
and I guess you lose some,
and this some we lost.
No, I always win some.
So buckle up, Ghost Cop,
we're not going home
until we have 1,000 candies!
But you heard the kid...
None of the houses have candy.
Wrong! He said none of the
houses on earth have candy.
Wexter!
I know a house that has the best candy.
To uni-planet!
Axe Cop, I don't see
uni-man's house anywhere.
Of course you don't.
It's invisible.
- It is? Why?
- So bad guys can't find it.
See? Over there.
- You feel anything?
- No. This guy is such a genius.
An invisible house.
Wait, I think I found something.
- An invisible doorknob.
- Awesome!
Trick or treat!
Axe Cop, Ghost Cop,
fantastic costumes.
Let me get you some candy.
- You know I have the best candy.
- See? I told you.
Impossible. This bowl was just filled
with those big-sized candy bars...
You know, like the ones
you get at the cinema...
- But now it's filled with...
- Raw vegetables?
Hmm. Something fishy
is going on.
Let's go to my uni-lab
and consult my C.T.M...
My candy tracking machine.
Hmm, if I adjust
the caramellometers
and scan for sugartivity,
Ah! There she is.
All the candy in the universe
seems to be heading to
Thanksgiving World.
- This is terrible!
- Wrong! It's fantastic!
Every year, I look for the perfect
house with the most candy,
and it looks
like we just found it.
There's just
one problem, Axe Cop,
despite its name, Thanksgiving world
is a very scary, dangerous planet
ruled by the one and only
"Turkey Turkey"
and his evil army
of evil pilgrim soldiers.
Let me pull up my T.T.F...
My Turkey Turkey file.
You see, if you don't clip
a Turkey's wings,
they will never stop growing.
And when Turkey Turkey
was a baby,
he dodged his master's
attempts to clip his wings.
He escaped his torment
and was able to grow
into a giant Turkey
with huge wings.
He was raised by falcons...
who taught him how to claw and
bite with his super sharp beak.
And if that weren't enough,
he can dive-bomb and throw razor-sharp
feathers hidden on his body.
Warning! Warning!
I beg you... do not go
to Thanksgiving planet.
It's a suicide mission.
Mmm.
Are you sure you should be
picking candy up off the ground?
Race you!
Hey, didn't you say
your candy bucket
- glows in the dark?
- Don't you know it.
Huh. That's weird.
This doesn't look like
a regular cave.
Mmm. It tastes like carrots,
celery and onions.
Oh no! Axe Cop,
it's mirepoix!
We're in a giant oven!
- Gobble gobble.
- If it isn't Turkey Turkey.
- Hand over the candy!
- Too late, Axe Cop!
I've already eaten it all.
There's no more candy
left in the universe.
But if there's no candy,
- there's no Halloween!
- Exactly,
and now Thanksgiving is the
best holiday in all of autumn.
Whoa! Wait, that's why
you wanna ruin Halloween?
Because it's better
than Thanksgiving?
Of course! How can Turkey
compete with candy?
It can't!
And from now on,
it don't have to.
Nice try, Turkey Turkey.
But you can't stop me.
I'm Axe Cop.
Oh no, it's tryptophan.
It's making me so tired.
Why don't you two take
a nice month-long nap?
I like my Thanksgiving dinner
well-rested.
Nighty-nighty.
Gobble gobble.
Gobble gobble gobble.
Happy Thanksgiving,
my evil pilgrims!
Gobble gobble gobble.
And what a special
Thanksgiving it is...
Axe Cop and Ghost Cop
are the main course!
Looks like we're finally
done for, good buddy.
But since
it is Thanksgiving,
I'm thankful I'm spending
my last moments with you.
I love you, man.
- Anything you wanna say to me?
- Yes.
While we were sleeping
for 28 days,
I dreamt that
we'd be saved by a man
with the power
of all the seasons.
- Huh.
- His name is Season Man,
and in my dream
I also learned
that he is married
and has quadruplets.
I'm afraid that
really doesn't help us.
Dreams are just dreams.
They're not real.
Not my dreams.
Everything I dream comes true.
Turkey Turkey!
- See?
- Season Man!
Ah!
Thanks for dreaming me up,
Axe Cop.
My pleasure, Season Man.
Oh!
I'm dying, Axe Cop.
Don't worry, Season Man.
Next time I fall asleep,
I'll dream up
the perfect father
to marry your wife and take
care of your quadruplets.
- Thanks, Axe Cop.
- Shh shh.
Save your strength...
for dying.
Well, Axe Cop, it looks like
I'm going to have to kill you
the old-fashioned way...
I'm going to rip you apart
and peck you to death.
There's only one problem...
When you weren't looking,
Ghost Cop flew through your body
and left a grenade bomb
inside of you.
Best Halloween costume ever.
Wait! What?
He's missing!
Axe Cop is missing!
If I were missing,
how could I be here?
Hey, Axe Cop!
Where have you been, bro?
It took a whole month, but I
finally collected 1,000 candies!
Yeah!
I'm gonna eat all of the candy
all at the same time! Yay!
- What about the Turkey?
- Liborg's right.
You can't have Thanksgiving
without no Turkey.
This year
we're not having Turkey.
Uh, what?
We're having Turkey Turkey.
- All right! Turkey Turkey!
- I call the leg!
- I want the wing!
- It's delicious!
What about you, Axe Cop? You a
white meat guy or dark meat guy?
Neither.
I'm a head meat guy.