Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 4, Episode 9 - Mini-Me's & Muffin Baskets - full transcript

Okay, kids, I need your attention.
Come on, gather round.

We have a really big
surprise for you.

Oh, I love surprises. Tell
me, tell me, tell me.

Wait, don't tell me.

Okay, fine, tell me.
No, no, don't.

Dez, you already
know the surprise.

Oh, right.

Wait, remind me. No, no,
no, don't remind me.

Okay, remind me.
No, no, no, don't.

Okay, we're throwing the first
ever A&A music factory showcase.

We invited some record
execs to hear you play.



Ooh, ooh, ooh, can I a rap?
I'm great at rapping.

- Sure, Herman.
- Yes!

Oh, no, all the execs are
going to be wearing suits.

I'm scared of suits... the
blazers, the ties, the vests.

And don't even get me started
on the pocket squares.

What are they even for?

No one's expecting
professionals.

This is just a chance
for you to get some

industry feedback so you
can grow as an artist.

Sounds terrifying.

I'm gonna head to the suit
store across the mall

and practice singing
to some mannequins.

Hey, Herman, we should come up with
a really sick name for our band.

Yeah, something baseball-y,
like the sluggers,



or the name my coach gave our team...
the embarrassments.

I am so excited
for the showcase.

A lot of music execs
will be there.

Even Jimmy starr is coming.

Oh, good. I haven't
seen that guy

since he changed his email,
rejected my friend request

and disabled the tracking
device I put on his car.

Dez, maybe stay away from Jimmy.

Yeah, I'll be staying
away from him too.

That guy officially hates me.

Well, he doesn't hate Ridley.

He loved her at the
karaoke sing-off.

If she nails her performance,
maybe he'll sign her.

Yeah, and then we can get
back on his good side.

Who knows what that
might mean for Austin?

Who knows what that
might mean for me?

Maybe I'll finally get to
take real photos with Jimmy,

instead of the fake ones
I make on my computer.

That was a good day.

You're an awesome dancer.

Are you sure you can't perform
with me at the showcase?

I wish I could, but
Jimmy won't let me.

Anyway, you don't need me.

And you definitely don't need
that first aid kit on your back.

But it makes me feel safe.

I know how you feel.

When I was three, I started
carrying a binkie.

When did you finally give it up?

What do you mean?

Okay, I need to take pictures
for the showcase program.

Ridley, you're up.

Huh-uh. Ponytails
are a photo no-no.

Sorry, who are you?

This is Sadie. She's supposed
to be taking a piano lesson,

but apparently she's more
into what you're doing.

With pop stars, image
is everything.

Hey, you're good at this stuff.

Well, I'll tell you what she's not good
at... staying focused on the piano.

I'm bored with piano.

Guess who wants to
play the trumpet now.

Hmm.

Bored easily, super opinionated.

How do you feel about naps?

Love 'em.

Sounds like there's someone else
here who'd be better as your mentor.

Hint, hint.

I hear you loud and clear.

Come on, Sadie. Do you
like tap dancing?

They meant me.

So what brings you to the
music factory, Sadie?

Well, I don't have any musical talent
and I don't like to work hard.

But I want to make a lot of money off
of other people's talent and hard work.

It's like I'm looking into a mirror...
a very tiny mirror.

Welcome to management 101.

B-t-dubs, did I mention
I love your shoes?

B-t-double-dubs, I
love yours too.

Okay, as a manager, it's your job
to get people to do what you say.

- Dez, sit down.
- Whatever you say.

- Wow, you're good.
- I know.

Now, dealing with industry
types is difficult.

You have to talk fast, be
rude to the assistants,

name drop as much as possible, and when
you're done, send a muffin basket.

Nice. Everybody loves muffins.

And baskets.

Now, why don't you
try a practice call?

Let's role-play. Dez,
you be the assistant.

Ring-ring-ring!

Ring-ring-ring!

Dez.

What? I always pick up on
the third ring-ring-ring.

I don't want to sound desperate.

Fine.

Ring-ring-ring.

Hello, Mr.

I-didn't-have-time-to-come-up
with-a-name's office.

Are you having a
pleasant afternoon?

Let's skip the chitchat. Put
your boss on the phone.

Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am.

Psst, Trish. Who's
playing the boss?

- You are.
- Wow.

I got promoted so fast.

Hello, Mr.

I-didn't-have-time-to-come-up
with-a-name speaking.

Can I help you?

Hi, this is Sadie.

My good friend Katy Perry
gave me your number,

and I wanted to invite
you to our showcase.

I will send a muffin basket and
a postcard with more info.

And scene!

Whoo! Nice work, Sadie.

Okay, guys, I've
got a great idea.

We're gonna learn
one of Ally's songs

and surprise her with it at the showcase.
But don't tell her.

A secret? I'm great at secrets.

But I'm terrible
at keeping them.

So what part are you good at?

Oh, Ally's on her way in.

Don't say anything.
Everyone just act cool.

Hey, guys. What are
you working on?

Kids. Am I right?

So, when you're
talking to a client,

it's important to sneak your
criticism between two compliments.

- What do you mean?
- Watch.

Hey, Herman. Heard you
on the drums earlier.

You're sounding better.

You gotta wash that smelly
baseball uniform. Love the hair.

Thanks. You're the best.

Wait, what?

Okay, now you try.

Hey, Ridley. You
have a great voice.

You have no stage presence
and you're going to make

a complete fool of
yourself at the showcase.

Cute shoes.

What?

I'm gonna make a fool of myself?

No. Sadie, why would
you say that?

Trish told me to be honest.

Ridley has potential, but
she's so nervous and awkward.

She needs a lot of help.

Ridley, don't listen to her.
Sadie took it way too far.

No, she's right.

I don't have what it takes.

I'm not performing
at the showcase.

I'm not performing ever.

Ridley, wait.

Trish, how could you
let this happen?

We need Ridley in the showcase.

The showcase is to showcase her.

I'm sorry. I was just
trying to give Sadie

a lesson on giving
constructive criticism.

It sounded more like
destructive criticism.

I'm gonna go get Ridley.

When she freaks out, she likes
to go to the camping store

and hide in the sleeping bags.

Sadie, I think you may have
taken my lesson the wrong way.

Look, Trish, you're a really good mentor,
but I'm better at this than you,

and from now on I'm
gonna do things my way.

Nice headband.

Aww, thank...

wait. Darn.

I've taught her too well.

Is that Ridley?

No.

I went all the way
to the camping store

and brought back some other
kid hiding in a sleeping bag.

Whew.

Hey, guys.

Look, Ridley, I know you're worried
about performing at the showcase,

but what's the worst
thing that can happen?

Well, my performance could be so bad
that the audience throws tomatoes at me.

And smashed tomatoes
make ketchup.

And ketchup goes on French fries,
and French fries are potatoes.

And you know what
else is a potato?

Yams. And I'm terrified of yams.

Come on, Ridley, we've
got a lot work to do.

Trish, you've created a monster.

Sadie's got Ridley freaking out.

She demanded a V.I.P. Parking
spot for her bicycle.

And look what she did to
amp up Max's star appeal.

I am not happy.

Fine.

- I'll go talk to her.
- She's in her office.

Office?

Move, Dez. I need
to talk to Sadie.

Do you have an appointment?

- Appointment?
- Yeah, Sadie hired me as her assistant.

I even get to wear
this cool headset.

Sadie and associates.
Please hold.

Dez, we both know that is
not plugged into anything.

And we both know there's
nothing in that mug.

I'll call you back.

I'm sorry, but unless you have an
appointment, I can't help you.

Sadie's in a very big
meeting right now.

I can see her sleeping in there.

Can you do 5:30?

Do you seriously think I'm
gonna wait around six hours

to talk to an
obnoxious little kid

who locked herself in a sound
booth in my music factory?

You're right.

Oh, we just had a cancellation.
How's 4:30?

Sure.

And you are?

Sounds great. When
Ally hears you

playing her song at the
showcase, she's gonna freak.

Let's try the song again.

Oh, hey, Ally.

Um, Austin, is this the song
they're playing at the showcase?

Yeah, it's experimental.

I think you'll be surprised by
how good it sounds at the show.

What's up with Herman?
Is he okay?

He's doing his
breathing exercises.

Breathing exercises?
He plays drums.

You know what they say... "a friend
in need is a friend indeed."

- What does that have to do...?
- Well, see ya.

Ally, we're playing your
song at the showcase.

Whew, that was a close one.

That's exactly what Taylor
Swift said to me yesterday.

Sadie moved her office
into the dance studio?

Yes, we thought a bigger space would
be better for her growing business.

Your 4:30 is here.

Sweetie, have a seat.

I know what you're doing.

You made my chair lower than yours
to make yourself seem more powerful.

I taught you that.

I don't know what you mean.

Okay, you are taking
this way too far.

You're not a real manager.
You're a kid.

That's not what my card says.

You're right, that's not
what your card says.

That says you're a manger.

Dez!

I am so sorry. I'll
get these reprinted.

Bottom line, you're
out of control.

We almost lost Ridley
because of you.

I gave her the push she needed.

She'd be way better off with me
as her manager instead of you.

You know what? I've had enough.

I'm sorry, but you're no
longer welcome at this school.

Fine. I'm out of here.

Dez!

Get me down!

And cancel her muffin basket.

Thanks for making the snacks
for the showcase, Dez.

Oh, I forgot about the showcase.

This is just my dinner.

Your dinner is 200
teeny weenies?

No, that would be crazy.

I'm also having these
400 cheese cubes.

I can't wait for
Ridley's performance.

I know Jimmy's looking
for a young singer.

If he thought she was great before,
wait till he sees her now.

He might really
want to sign her.

She could be his
next Austin moon.

Yeah, but, like, newer,
younger, shinier.

Uh, hello.

Original Austin moon right here.

And I'm still pretty shiny.

Yeah, you are.

- Dez.
- Yeah.

Come on, guys, we've got a
packed house down there

waiting for an amazing showcase.

Whoo!

Well, I guess now I don't
have to share my weenies.

No one showed up
to our showcase.

Hey, look on the bright side... maybe
they were all eaten by zombies.

Trish, I thought you said we were
gonna have a packed house tonight.

We were supposed to. 100 people
emailed that they were coming. Look.

Sadie.

That little brat
broke into my email

and told all the record execs
our showcase was canceled.

- She did what?
- And look.

She sent out invites for
her own showcase tonight.

It features Ridley and a
secret celebrity guest.

Sadie stole our showcase.

Oh, that's why she wanted
your email, password,

contacts, and
showcase invite list.

Weenie?

Okay, where is that little brat?

Hopefully she didn't do
anything to make Jimmy upset.

I'm very upset. First,
your showcase is canceled.

Then I come to this
one, and it's a mess.

I don't see any performers.
There's no free food.

And that rugby team's taking up
every seat with their pizza party.

Oi, oi, oi!

There's been a mix-up,
but we're gonna fix it.

Oh, Ridley, there you are.

Don't be mad. I'm only here 'cause
Sadie told me the venue changed.

Where is she?

Never mind. I see her.

Come back here, young lady.

Please don't yell at me.

Nothing you say can make me
feel worse than I already do.

What were you thinking, Sadie?

I wanted to prove that I
could be a real manager.

I guess I had no idea what actually
went into planning a showcase.

I have no lights, no musical
instruments, no celebrity guest.

But your invite said...

I just wrote that so
people would come.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to be
a manager anymore.

I want to go back to being a
normal kid, with an assistant.

I did like that part.

Look, Sadie, we're not gonna
let this showcase fall apart.

You may be in over your head, but it's
our job to teach you how to fix it.

Really?

I'm gonna go get the rest of the kids
and have Austin set up the stage.

Ally can be our celebrity guest.

Dez!

I need you to get rid
of the rugby team.

Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!

Give it up for the
multi-talented Herman!

Next up... the A&A music
factory house band.

Austin, you taught
them my new song?

They've been rehearsing
it all week.

I wanted it to be a surprise.

I am so touched.

Thank you.

You knew, didn't you?

Herman told me 10 minutes ago.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, our
secret celebrity guest Ally Dawson!

Whoo!

You guys were awesome.
I'm so proud of you.

Trish, thank you so much
for saving the showcase.

I'm really sorry I
ever went against you.

It's cool. You have
a lot of potential.

If you ever cross me
again, I will destroy you.

Cute jacket.

Bravo, gang.

Jimmy!

I gotta say, that was the best
showcase I've seen in a long time.

And there's one performer I'm
particularly interested in.

I knew it! Where do I sign?

I was talking about Ridley,
but you're good too.

I'll take it.

I knew you could sing, but the music
factory's taken you to the next level.

Austin and I have been working
really hard with her.

Ridley Rogers, how would you like to
be in business with Starr Records?

Wow, I would love to.

Hang on a sec, Jimmy.

As Ridley's manager, it would appear
that we have something you want

and you have something we want.

Maybe we can work out a deal.

Let me guess:

You want me to let
Austin perform again.

Trish, what are you doing?

This isn't about me. It's about
helping one of our students.

I don't want to stand in the
way of her opportunity.

Austin, you can't keep putting your
heart in front of your career.

Maybe that's not
such a bad thing.

I've been doing a lot of thinking,
and maybe I overreacted in the past.

I gotta say, I miss seeing
Austin moon on that stage.

And so do millions of his fans.

And so does his manager, who
gets 10% of his paycheck.

So what do you say, Jimmy?

- You've got a deal.
- Yes!

Ridley, welcome
to Starr Records.

And Austin moon, welcome back.

Thanks, Jimmy.

Hey, Jimbo, we giving
out hugs over here?

No, we are not.

That guy kills me.

Welcome to Austin
and associates.

Do you have an appointment?

We don't need an appointment.

Dez, can you please just
move out of the way?

We need to talk to Austin
about his comeback.

I'm sorry, and you are?

Ally Dawson.

Austin's girlfriend.

That you see every day.

Doesn't ring a bell.

Listen, Austin is very busy
working on his comeback.

I can schedule you in for
a week from Tuesday.

Oops, no, that's staff
evaluations day.

Sorry about this.

I tried to fire him, but he said I
had to give him two weeks' notice.

How about next Wednesday?

No, that's the company picnic.

Next Thursday?

No, that's our team
building workshop.

Next Friday? That's
our wellness retreat.

How about Saturday?

Nope, we don't work on weekends.

How about Monday? Nope,
that's secretary day.

Austin is taking
me out for steaks.

Or how about next tuesda-a-a-ay?