Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 4, Episode 3 - Grand Openings & Great Expectations - full transcript

Sorry we're late.

We were at gigantic's
getting a gigantic

pair of scissors for the
ribbon cutting ceremony.

Why are they covered in mustard?

We also split a
gigantic hot dog.

Now I have a gigantic
stomachache.

Guys.

The grand opening of the A&A music
factory isn't until next week.

Today's just a preview for some
reporters to generate buzz.

Aw, so I don't get
to cut anything?

You can cut this tiny thread off my
shirt, it's been bugging me all day.



Pfft, oh.

Oh, did you get it?

Uh...

Yeah, I think so.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press,
we are very excited to welcome you

to a sneak peak of the
A&A music factory.

As you can see, we've built a
state of the art music academy.

We have every instrument
a kid could dream of

on our one of a kind
music carousel.

A professional recording booth.

A stage for performing,
another stage

complete with virtual
concert simulator goggles.

Thank you, Miami!

Oh!



Man, this thing is awesome.

It lets you perform
anywhere on earth.

Or anywhere not on earth.

Thank you, planet Zytrax!

Boom! Oh, no.

Incoming asteroid.

Moving right along.

Our goal at the A&A music factory
is to spread the joy of music.

And that's something you
can't put a price tag on.

But to be clear, there
is a price tag.

300 bucks, cash only.

Beverly Robbins, senior editor,
Miami Daily Star Gazette.

So, what was your motivation
for the redesign?

Well... It was important
for us to create

a nurturing environment
for our young students.

So they can learn music in a
comfortable, safe setting.

No one is safe!

We're being attacked by aliens!

Stop! You're in virtual reality!

Huh?

Oh. Whoo! That's a relief.

What's that?

I think this belongs to you.

The A&A music factory has
something for everyone.

We can teach you how to dance, how to
write songs, how to make music videos.

Beverly Robbins, senior editor
at Miami Daily Star Gazette.

I hate to sound negative, but this
just sounds like a couple of pop stars

exploiting their fame
for a quick buck.

Wow, for someone who hates to sound
negative, you are good at it.

We get your skepticism, Ms. Robbins,
but we take this very seriously.

Yep, give Austin and Ally a week, and
they can turn anyone into a musician.

Well, I don't know
about just a week.

Yeah!

Even if a kid has never
touched an instrument,

they'll walk out of here a pro.

Um, I mean it would help if
they had some experience.

Ah, Beverly Robbins, senior
editor, Miami Daily Star Gazette.

So you're saying you can take a
child, and turn them into a musician

in one week?

Well...

If that's what you
recorded us saying

then I guess that's
what we said.

Then prove it.

Teach a group of amateurs a song to
perform at your grand opening next week.

Oh, come on.

That just sounds like some publicity
stunt to generate attention

for our new music school.

Wait!

That sounds like a
big publicity stunt

to generate attention for
our new music school!

We're in!

Um...

Excuse us.

Trish, what are you doing?

We want to make
headlines, right?

This is our chance!

Yeah.

Our chance to
embarrass ourselves.

Hey, if anybody can put a band
together in a week, it's you guys.

Okay, if you're
trying to flatter us

into going along with
this, it's working.

Yeah, we are pretty
awesome, aren't we?

Yes! We're making a band!

Great!

My son, Max, can be
your first member.

Max.

Oh.

Wow.

Watching a student embark on his first
musical journey really warms my heart.

I hate music.

And that breaks it.

- Oh.
- Give me it!

Oh.

Kids, right?

Welcome to step one of operation
make a band in a week

from a bunch of newbies to impress
the media on our grand opening.

Maybe step one should be
coming up with a shorter name.

Wait, where's Dez?

I thought we all were supposed to
find a new student to join our band.

Hello, strangers.

I'm just a kid with
no musical talent.

Dez sent me here to join the
A&A music factory band.

So you couldn't find a kid, Dez?

No, I could not.

Well, that's okay.

The three of us found
students and Max makes four.

Let's just hope the other kids have
a little more enthusiasm than Max.

Maybe Max just hasn't found
the right instrument.

What do you want to
play, little dude?

Right now, I want to
play Zombie Shredder.

Oh, I love that game.

I hate to brag, but I
made it to level six.

- I'm on level six...
- Oh.

Hundred and twelve.

Nobody likes a show off.

All right, well I brought Lily.

She started piano
lessons here last week.

I'm super pumped!

I've been practicing nonstop.

Were the lights on or off
when you were practicing?

This is Dylan.

I met her at the skate park.

'Sup?

Well, welcome to the A&A
music factory, Dylan.

Oh my gosh! I can't believe I'm
actually talking to Ally Dawson!

Who I've never heard of because
I don't listen to pop music.

So if you don't like pop music, then
why do you want to join our school?

This Austin guy just
kept bugging me. Pfft.

You came up to me and asked me to
autograph everything in your backpack.

I was just making sure
all my pens worked.

Psh, I don't think
you're gorgeous.

This is Herman.

He's on my little
brother's baseball team.

I really want to go
back to my game.

I don't think I I'm
any good at music.

I just watched you
at batting practice.

Trust me, you're not any
good at baseball either.

No good? I struck out
ten times last game.

My coach said that's a record!

Look, Herman, you may not
be good at music now,

but you'll be a rockstar
by the end of the week.

You all will!

The first thing we need to do is
find you instruments to play.

You know, Max, since you've
got such quick fingers,

I thought you'd be
great at the keyboard.

Sick!

Yeah, I guess playing the
keyboard is pretty...

Sick!

I just threw a zombie
head into a wood chipper.

That is also sick.

Can you at least try
playing the keyboard?

Sure.

Well, it's a start.

All right, Herman.

Show us what you got.

Hey, I'm pretty good.

We should have been more clear.

When you play the
drums, the key is to...

Hit the drums.

Hey!

Well, at least you
hit something.

You know what, maybe the
keyboard isn't for me.

- But you're so talented.
- Oh, thank goodness.

How about this?

Oh, here. Let me show
you how to hold that.

Oopsie.

It broke.

Ooh, can I try the giant guitar?

Oh, are you sure?

The upright bass is kind
of a big instrument.

Am I playing bass yet?

So Dylan, what do you think
about playing guitar?

Or the air guitar.

Aw.

Guitar could be fun.

Something cute and glittery like the one
Ally played on her "Finally Me" tour.

Or... whatever.

Here, this is the
exact one she used.

Well, I guess if this is
the only one you have.

All right.

Let's start with
some simple chords.

This is "D."

Cool, you picked that up quick.

This is fun.

You'll be a pop
princess in no time.

Pop princess?

Uh, you know what?

I just remembered, I gotta go meet
my friends at the skate park. So...

Catch you later.

That was weird.

She said she was having fun,
and then she just ran out.

Oh, I'm sorry, what was that?
I couldn't hear you.

I was too busy jamming out
on my air tambourine.

I'd rather be playing my air guitar,
but someone took it away from me.

This band has got to be good.

We can't ruin our music school's
reputation before it even opens.

It's gonna be awesome.

We've been working with
them one on one for days.

Now it's just a matter of
having them play together.

All right, let's
destroy this song.

Well, they're definitely
destroying the song.

This is a disaster.

I have one word for that mess.

Yikes.

I've got 22 words for this mess.

There's no way they'll be able
to play the grand opening

this weekend because they were
really, really, really bad.

Really.

The press is gonna
rip us to shreds.

Maybe we should
postpone the opening.

That'll look just as bad.

We need a plan "b."

Guys, come on.

We're not postponing it,
and there's no plan "b."

We can't give up.

Maybe they're not good today.

And maybe they won't
be good tomorrow.

Or the next day.

But I believe in us.

And if we promised to turn this rag
tag bunch of rookies into a band,

then that's what we're gonna do.

Now who's with me?

Yeah, we need a plan "b."

Okay, guys.

We heard your first performance
as a band, and wow.

You guys sounded...

Wow.

But we thought to
ourselves, how can we

take something that's already so
perfect, and make it even better?

Meet your new band mates.

You're replacing us?

No, no, no, no, no!

These guys are just here to make
your music bigger, louder...

More music-like.

Um, so.

Let's shake things up.

Dylan, we're gonna put
you on the maracas.

And Lily, we're gonna put
you on the triangle.

Exciting, huh?

Really?

You think you can hand us
a couple tiny noisemakers

and we're just gonna
jump for joy?

Oh! A triangle, my
favorite shape!

And Max, you get to
stay on the keyboard.

Whatever.

What do you want me to play?

You have got the most
important job of all.

The finger snapper.

Ha! You're a natural.

He can't do anything.

All set.

Let's hear how you sound.

Whoo!

I think it's pretty obvious
what's going on here.

Yeah, we're nailing it!

No.

They brought in pros to
drown out our sound.

I mean, Max's keyboard
isn't even plugged in.

And neither is my triangle.

I thought we were gonna
be the rockstars.

Yeah!

You are!

We're sorry. We just wanted
to hear how this would sound.

And obviously, it
sounds terrible.

You, you, and you, you
are out of the band.

You don't have what it takes to
play with these unique talents.

Uh...

Yeah, get lost! I'm sorry...

I thought you were way
better than those kids.

I really don't know what's
going on right now.

Bye.

Ally.

What are you doing?

She's doing the right thing.

We made a promise to these kids
that we'd turn them into a band

and that's what we're gonna do.

Can I still be the snapper?

We have our work cut out for us.

Here, Lily.

I thought maybe we could try a
bass you could actually hold.

Hey, I can touch the strings!

O...

- Hey!
- Kay.

I hooked up your keyboard
to the video game

and rigged it so that every
time you hit the right key...

you kill a zombie.

Whoa!

Look at, look at, look at!

Oh, get it, get it, get it!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

- Sick!
- Oh!

That was gross.

Oh!

Right, okay, time out, kid.

How many fingers
am I holding up?

Twelve?

Yeah, you need glasses.

And an anatomy lesson.

Here, try these.

Whoa!

Who knew the world was
so clear and in focus?

Ally, you have lettuce
in between your teeth.

Great, Dylan.

You're a natural.

I have a little
surprise for you.

It's the jacket Ally wore
in her "Redial" video!

I thought you might want to wear it
when you perform at the grand opening.

Oh my gosh, I love it!

I can totally sell that online.

Thanks.

Whoo!

Prepare to be bashed,
zombie scum!

I will wipe out your legion of undead
with a beautiful C minor scale.

Later, zombies.

I can see everything!

I bet I'm even better
at baseball now.

Dez, toss me that apple.

Yes!

I missed it by way less
than I usually do!

Stick to the drums, kid.

Wow, I'm impressed.

Everybody's been
sounding really good.

I know! We might actually
pull this off tonight.

Wait, where's Dylan?

I don't know exactly
what happened

but Dylan said she's quitting
because she doesn't want

her skater friends to tease
her for being in a pop band.

Then she got on her skateboard
and skated away real fast.

So you do know exactly
what happened.

Oh, yeah, I guess I do.

Dylan.

If you're here to
convince me to come back

to the band, it's
not gonna work.

Come on.

It's obvious you like
being in the band.

What's the deal?

Well, it's just...

My friends are all skaters.

They would totally make fun of me if
they saw me wearing a girly jacket

and playing in a pop band
with a bunch of little kids.

I know how you feel.

Sometimes, people walk up to me and say,
"Austin, you're really, really cool."

Other times, they just say,
"Austin, you're cool."

So...

So is that supposed to
make me feel better?

Okay, bad example.

I have a better one.

When I was a kid, I took
a ballroom dance class.

Some of my friends teased me and I
wanted to quit, but I'm glad I didn't.

That class helped make
me an awesome dancer.

I get what you're saying,
but I'm not coming back.

Well, just think about it.

Don't need to.

Not coming back.

Okay, well... let me know
when you make a decision!

Good talk!

I don't think Dylan's
coming back.

What makes you say that?

Because she said, "I'm
not coming back."

Like, nine times.

But I'm still hoping she's
gonna change her mind.

I don't know how much longer
we can have Herman stall.

Yeah, people are getting sick of
watching him show off his eyesight.

Doors must remain unlocked
during business hours.

Restrooms for patrons only.

Hi.

Beverly Robbins, senior editor,
Miami Daily Star Gazette.

We're all excited to see if you
actually made a band in one week.

Are we?

Are we all excited?

It's gonna be great, guys.

But would you mind not
mentioning my name up there?

Okay, thanks.

Made in Taiwan.

Herman, it's okay.

Uh, hi.

Welcome to the grand opening
of the A&A music factory.

Dez, wanna do the honors?

Oh, man. I forgot my
giant pair of scissors.

Oh, good thing I brought
my toenail scissors.

Um...

Ta-da!

Last week we began working with
a group of brand new students.

And tonight, they're
gonna perform a song.

And when Austin
says "brand new,"

he means brand new.

Like they'd never even
touched instruments before.

Like ever.

Like never, ever.

So if they were even able to make
a sound with their instruments,

that alone would be a victory.

I mean, especially considering that
we don't have a lead guitarist.

Wait!

You came back.

Yeah.

I want to be in the band.

Your story about taking ballroom
dancing really helped me.

It made you realize that you shouldn't
care what your friends think?

No.

It gave my friends something
way lamer to make fun of.

So thanks.

You took ballroom dancing? Ha!

Dez, we took it together.

Oh, yeah.

Let's do this, guys.

Beverly Robbins, senior editor.

Yeah, yeah, we know, Bev'.

I think I speak for everyone
when I say how impressed I am

that these kids were able
to rise to the challenge.

I don't know, I thought
they missed a few notes.

Dez!

Mom, can I keep taking lessons?

Music is just as fun as bashing
in the skull of a zombie corpse.

That makes me so happy.

And a little disturbed.

We destroyed that song!

In the good way.

Now I'm great at two things:

Baseball and rock and roll!

Hey, let's do another song.

Yeah.

I would just like to point out we
only taught them the one song.

Just the one.

Hey. What are you
guys looking at?

It's the article by Beverly Robbins,
senior editor, Miami Daily Star Gazette.

Oh. What'd she say?

Fantastic. Amazing.
Bright future ahead.

Wow, she really loves
the music factory.

No, that was about her son, Max.

But she did mention
us at the very end.

The A&A music factory
was more than adequate

in recognizing Max's
natural talent.

Yeah! I told you guys you
were more than adequate.

Well, speaking of
natural talent,

Austin, I hear you're quite
the ballroom dancer.

Oh, you tell me.

May I have this dance?

Uh, mind if I cut in?

- Sure.
- Yes, I... oh.