Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 4, Episode 2 - Mattress Stores & Music Factories - full transcript

Lily, I am so excited you decided
to take music lessons with me.

Well, what are you
interested in learning?

Guitar? Violin? Accordion?

Nothing really.

But your mom just signed you
up for music lessons with me.

I know! I get to be with Ally Dawson
for a whole hour every Wednesday!

Can I have an autograph?

Listen, Lily. I am flattered you
wanted to meet me so badly.

But there are kids on the
waiting list for lessons

that are actually
interested in music.

I like listening to music...



I do, too.

But playing music
is even better.

When you're playing music you feel
like you're flying on a unicorn...

Through a rainbow...

And landing on a cloud
made of cotton candy!

Are you sure you write
your own lyrics?

The point is playing music
can be very rewarding.

So...

You're not going to sign my CD?

Of course I'll sign it.

Now, if you don't mind,
there are a whole bunch

of kids out there waiting
for a group lesson.

I understand.

Selfie!



All right! Who's ready
for a music lesson?

Good job. I'll see
you next week.

I have been helping this
customer for over three hours.

I think he's finally
gonna buy something.

So, uh, what do you think?

This banjo is twanging my name.

I'm gonna buy it.

From this discount
banjo seller online.

- Wait, what?
- And purchased.

Thanks for all your
help, brother.

Man!

Customers keep coming in here
to try out the instruments,

and then buying them
for less online.

I know. Can you believe
how cheap people are?

Says the man who takes rolls of
toilet paper from the mall restroom.

Well, at least the store's staying busy
with kids signing up for music lessons.

I mean, look at that line
of them outside right now!

Ally merch! Get your
Ally merch here!

I got Ally shirts,
Ally hats, Ally nuts.

Guess who's selling Ally stuff.

Seriously?

Aw, those pins are so cute.

Ow.

Not so fast. Pins
are eight bucks.

I'm not giving you eight
bucks for a pin of me.

Fine.

Five bucks.

Okay.

Why are you guys dressed
like astronaut beekeepers?

These are fencing uniforms.

Fencing wasn't very fun.

So, then we tried kebabing.

Mm-mm.

I have to find a hobby I'm as
passionate about as music.

What about me?

I know. Besides you.

Okay.

Making music was also an excuse to avoid
working at Moon's Mattress Kingdom.

And now I don't have that.

Are your parents still pressuring
you to come work at the store?

Look at this note they put
in my lunch box today.

"Hugs and kisses. Enjoy your
bologna sandwich, sweetie bear.

P.S. Come work at the
mattress store."

They won't stop pressuring me.

This morning, they made me pancakes
shaped like little mattresses,

with little butter pillows
and tiny bacon people...

It was actually
really delicious.

But I can't work
with my mom and dad!

Yeah, your parents
are the worst.

No, I love them.

Yeah, your parents are the best!

It's just, once I start working there, I'm
gonna be sucked into the family business,

and they'll never let me go.
Ever.

It's not like some Trish job where I
can just get fired after an hour.

No offense, Trish.

Why would I be offended
by a compliment?

Austin, I think
you're overthinking.

Is working there really
that big of a deal?

Ally, clearly, Austin's
come to terms with the fact

that his music career
is officially over.

Symbolically, going to
work for his parents

means that he's giving
up any hope that he'll

ever be able to make
music ever again.

Right, buddy?

Aw.

Shrimp kebab?

I'm worried about Austin.

I'm worried I'm not
gonna make any money.

"Music lessons are for people
who want music lessons only."

This sign is gonna kill
my merch business.

I mean, Dez and Austin have been
trying different hobbies all week.

But nothing seems to stick.

That's where you're wrong.

Apparently, when you're gluing birdhouses,
it's not a good idea to high five.

And definitely don't
sit on the birdhouse.

What am I gonna do now?

Well, I certainly wouldn't
recommend going to the bathroom.

No, I mean about
finding a hobby.

My parents want me to start work at
the mattress store this afternoon.

And right now, I have
no excuse to say no.

- Haha, yeah!
- All right!

Aw...

Well, we'll help.

Uh, let's brainstorm.

What about... cooking?

Hmm, cooking...

Private detective-ing?

Irish stepdancing?

Competitive mustache growing?

I don't want to do
any of those things.

This is so frustrating.

Oh, I've got it!

Why don't you get a job at
a different mattress store

and tell your parents you can't work with
them because they're the competition?

Dez, I'd still be working at a mattress
store, and my parents would hate me.

You're right. I'm such a doof.

Aw.

No one's arguing with that.

Welcome to Moon's
Mattress Kingdom.

There's no hassle in our castle.

That's my boy!

This is the happiest
day of my life.

Next time, try to be
a little peppier.

And even though this
waterbed is just a queen,

when you sleep in it,
you'll feel like a king.

Puffy penguin pillow.

And if you buy a waterbed today, we'll
throw in this puffy penguin pillow.

Ugh, this cotton
candy is terrible.

That's mattress stuffing.

Then it's actually pretty good.

This waterbed is
snoring my name.

- I'm gonna buy it...
- Yes!

From this discount
waterbed seller online.

What?

Wait a sec...

Didn't you use to
be Austin Moon?

Well, actually, I
still am Austin Moon.

I'm just not allowed to make music
anymore, so now I'm working here.

That is the saddest
thing I've ever heard.

You know what?

I am gonna buy this waterbed
from you purely out of pity.

- Yes!
- You did it!

Pity!

They're just making a big deal
'cause this is my first sale.

Not true. We do that
for every sale.

Oh, I'm so proud of you!

We've always dreamed
of the day when our

little bedbug would join
our family business.

We used to lie away at night, not
from an uncomfortable mattress,

but from worrying who would
rule over this kingdom

once we stepped down
from our thrones.

Oh, our little prince.

Now clean up this
confetti, okay?

Whoo!

Dez!

Hi, Ally.

Lily, you decided
to take lessons?

No. I just wanted you to autograph
this, so I could hang it on my wall.

But wait. Didn't you
think about what I said?

Yeah, yeah. Unicorn. Rainbow.
Cotton candy.

Can you just sign it, please?

Of course. Here you go.

Thank you.

Mmm, I'm exhausted.

I recorded a song, did three radio
interviews, and gave ten lessons today.

I can't wait to just
go home and sleep.

You can't go home now. You still
have two more songs to write.

I don't know if I
can keep this up.

Last night, I was so tired, I fell asleep
on the bus ride home and missed my stop.

You don't take the bus.

I know. I was so tired, I
forgot how I usually get home.

Hey, guys.

So, how was your
first day at work?

I can't believe I'm gonna be working
there for the rest of my life.

I got a puffy penguin pillow.

I named him Waddlesworth.

Mmm.

This puffy penguin
pillow is comfy.

Oh, Morgan!

I forgot I had another lesson.

Listen, is there any
way we can reschedule?

- I have so much to do, and I am so tired.
- Hey.

Maybe I could give the lesson?

Really, Austin? Are you sure?

Yeah. Yeah, no problem.

Sounds kinda fun, actually.

Come on, dude. Let's rock.

Thanks, Austin.

If I hurry now, I can
still catch my bus.

Wait!

You don't take the...

Eh, she'll get home somehow.

She took Waddlesworth.

Keep working on your scales, Lindsay.
I'll see you next week.

Hey, guys.

Austin.

Thanks so much for helping me
out with all these lessons.

Are you kidding? I'm
having a blast!

I love working with these kids.

I totally get how you feel.

Except for the working part.

And the kids part.

You know what? I think
giving lessons was the

hobby you were looking
for this whole time.

You're right. This is the
thing I've been looking for.

If I can't perform music,
I can teach music.

Too bad you're stuck working at your
parents' mattress store forever.

And ever, and ever, and
ever, and ever, and ever...

No, I'm not!

I'm gonna go down to Moon's Mattress
Kingdom, and I'm gonna quit.

And there's nothing they
can say that will stop me.

You're getting a promotion!

I was not expecting that.

Austin, as you know, since
you started working here,

your mother and I have been happier
than bunnies on a box spring.

When you joined the family business,
you joined a long line of Moons

who devoted their entire
lives to selling mattresses.

We've never been prouder.

Great.

So fun...

Mattresses...

Entire life...

Whatever you say, son, we can
tell you're excited to be here.

We have a surprise for you.

This crown was given
to me by my father.

And it was given to
him by his father.

And it was given to my father's
father, by his father's father.

I know. They all
still work here.

Austin Moon, we
hereby crown you:

King of Moon's Mattress Kingdom!

What do you mean
you didn't quit?

Ha! I told you he was too much of a
'fraidy-cat to go through with it!

Whoops. I meant to whisper that.

Ha! I told you he was too big of a
'fraidy-cat to go through with it!

I just couldn't quit.

My parents are happier than
"bunnies on a box spring."

Aw. Bunnies on a box spring.

What's happier than that?

Ooh! Well, maybe
duckies on a duvet?

Or puppies on a pillow top?

- Or ferrets on a featherbed?
- Ally!

This is serious.
They made me king.

Well, there's a simple
solution, your majesty.

If you can't quit,
you've gotta get fired.

And lucky for you, no one knows
more about getting fired than me.

You really shouldn't
be proud of that.

And yet, I am.

Okay, Austin.

You may be the king of
Moon's Mattress Kingdom,

but I am the queen
of getting fired.

I've been fired from 73 jobs.

And, the thing I've been
fired for the most is...

Being late?

No.

The number one thing I've
been fired for is...

Bad attitude?

No!

Talking back to the boss?

Putting gum under the counter?
Leaving early? Too gassy?

Making personal phone calls?
Fighting with the customers!

Forgetting to feed the fish?
Eating all the pretzels?

Impersonating a health
food inspector?

Calling the boss "Lisa" when
his name is actually "Ted"?

Please stop guessing.

- Sleeping on the job?
- No!

Actually, yes!
Sleeping on the job.

I knew it! I'm such
a good guesser.

So, you think my parents will fire
me if they catch me sleeping?

Oh yeah.

Austin Monica Moon.

Did I fall asleep?

Oh, no. You guys must be mad...

Mad? No way! This is
a brilliant idea!

It's a great way to demonstrate how
comfortable our mattresses are!

But... Seriously?

While you were sleeping,
we sold three of these.

Sorry, Austin, that
usually works.

Don't panic. We'll
get you fired.

Dez, what are you doing? You're
getting crumbs everywhere!

That's a great idea!

No one's going to want to buy
a mattress with crumbs in it.

If Austin's parents catch him
making a mess in the beds,

they'll definitely
want to fire him.

Yeah. That was totally
my idea the whole time.

I'm not just snacking.

Austin Monica Moon!

Are you eating crackers in bed?

Yep. It would appear that
is exactly what I'm doing.

You are...

A genius!

Huh?

It's the perfect way to demonstrate
these new suck-u-tron mattresses

with built-in vacuum hoses.

- Hi, Ally.
- Aah!

What? Lily!

Are you here for
more autographs?

No. I decided that I really
wanted to take piano lessons.

Because of what I said?

I motivated you to
want to make music?

No, my mom's making me.

Oh.

I'm kidding. It's what you said.

I knew it!

I wanna be just like you.

I wanna perform on stage for thousands
of people and sell tons of albums...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're getting a little
ahead of yourself.

You don't just become a
performer overnight.

You have to learn how to play music, sing,
write songs, perform in front of a crowd.

Can you teach me all
that stuff, too?

No.

Well, I could, but...

Actually...

I don't know.

Wait.

Yeah, I could.

Or could I?

Maybe!

Well, not by myself.

We all could do it!

Sorry. I'm having a really
hard time following you.

I gotta get to the
mattress store.

So... I'll come back
for my lesson later?

Hey, guys!

Hey, Ally. We're mixing up all
the price tags on the beds.

Whoo!

That's what got me fired
from the jewelry store.

Well, after I sold a
$300 ring for two bucks.

Once my parents see this "mistake," I'll
have all my time free to give lessons.

Well, about that... guys!

I think I have a great idea.

What if instead of just
giving kids music lessons,

we taught kids everything there is
to know about making it in music?

Yeah, that's a great idea!

We can teach them how to
write songs, how to dance...

Exactly! We can start
our own music factory.

Well, we can all do it together!

I can teach kids about booking
gigs or putting on concerts.

I can show kids how
to make music videos.

And teach them how
to dress cool.

- Right.
- Sure.

Don't think so.

Dez, what are you doing?
That's a waterbed!

Uh, yeah. This will
totally get you fired.

No, no, no, stop doing that!

This is great! I should have thought
of popping the waterbed sooner!

What? This isn't great! I wanna get
fired, not ruin the whole store!

Guys, the holes are
getting bigger!

- Aah!
- Ugh.

I'll use the suck-u-tron to
vacuum up all the water.

It's working!

What is that hose attached to?

That mattress over there.

You know what's gonna happen if
that fills up with too much water!

Oh. The mattress will pop!

Austin Monica Moon!

Dez Hatfield Wade!

Patricia Maria de la R-r-rosa!

Ally Elizabeth Dawson!

That's not my middle name.

Whatever!

Austin, look what you've done!

I'm really sorry.

We don't want to do this, but
you have left us no choice.

You are...

Fired?

What? No!

You're gonna stay late
and clean up this mess.

Seriously? That's it?

Oh, honey, everybody that's
worked at a mattress store

has accidentally stapled a
waterbed at some point.

Really?

Guilty.

Austin, obviously we gave you
too much responsibility.

Don't feel bad. You'll have
years and years to get better.

Years and years.

No, I won't.

Because...

I have to quit!

Look what you've
done to your mother!

I'm sorry.

I love you guys...

And mattresses.

But my heart's in making music.

I've been giving lessons
at Sonic Boom after work.

And that's what I
want to do full-time.

We're gonna start our
own music academy.

Son, we know how you
feel about music.

We don't want to come between you and your
dream like some kind of a lumpy pillow.

We'll be proud of you no
matter what you decide to do.

You have our firmest support.

And that comes with a
lifetime guarantee.

Bring it in, Moons!

Oh, dad. Thank you so much for letting us
turn Sonic Boom into our music factory.

Oh, you're welcome, sweetie. I mean,
we weren't selling that much anyway.

And I'm really excited
for you guys.

It's gonna be awesome!

We're gonna put recording
booths back there,

a stage over there, dance
studio upstairs...

Oh, and don't forget about my
private nap area and steam room.

Trish...

Fine. No steam room.

Ooh, be sure to save
room for my giant

"giraffes teaching other
giraffes to play music" mural.

Well, we can discuss.

Maybe in the bathroom.

Well, I guess it's time to
kiss the Sonic Boom goodbye.

- What?
- Aah!

- Dez!
- No, Dez!

- No, stop!
- Dez!

- Dez!
- Dez, no!

- Hey!
- Dez!

What are you doing?

- Dez, no!
- No!

- Hey!
- Stop it!

- Dez!
- No, Dez!

Aah!

Aah!

- Dez!
- No, no, no, no!

- Dez, no!
- No?

We are not destroying anything.
We're just redecorating!

Oh.

Then you might not wanna go
up to the practice room.

Or out to your car, Mr. Dawson.

You smashed my car?

Well, I had to test the
sledgehammer on something.

Oh, my car!