Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 4, Episode 1 - Buzzcuts & Beginnings - full transcript

Whoo!

What's up, Atlanta?

Welcome to my comeback show.

My first gig in three months.

I want to thank Jimmy starr for changing
his mind and letting me perform again.

Let's go.

Austin! Austin! Austin!

Austin. Austin. Austin.

Austin!

I brought you pancakes.

Huh?



It was just a dream.

I know, right?

My whole tour has been like
this one amazing dream.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

Surprise!

You're not Austin and Ally.

Nice to see you too.

I thought you were still on tour
with that British boy band.

I left Boynado in new York and flew
back here to surprise Austin and Ally.

Well, I came all
the way from L.A.

To surprise Austin and Ally.

I've been hiding
here for three days.

Apparently, you also haven't
brushed your teeth in three days.

No. No, I have not.



Look, I was here first, so I get
to surprise Austin and Ally.

Okay, you can surprise them
after I surprise them.

Dez? Trish?

You guys didn't tell us
you were gonna be here.

Guys, please, we're in
the middle of something.

So when Austin and Ally
come in, I'm gonna...

What are you guys doing here?

We couldn't miss the
last night of your tour.

Oh, it's so good to
see you guys again.

It's like a breath of fresh air.

- Nothing fresh about it.
- Mm-mm.

Oh, come on. Whoo!

This was such an amazing
summer, but I missed you so...

Hang on, it's Boynado.

Trish here.

Uh-huh.

Well, tell Nigel to give
Devon his hairbrush back.

You were saying?

And then, the gorilla
rips off his mask,

and it turns out it was the kangaroo
committing all those crimes.

Oh, and the diamonds
were in his pouch.

- Yep.
- Wow.

Huh, sounds like you're
doing great at film school.

Yeah. In fact, now that we're
finished with the summer session,

they gave me money to shoot
a movie here in Miami.

That's awesome!

Hey, how's it going
with you and Carrie?

Oh, couldn't be better.

Her modeling career
is really taking off.

Check it out. She's the new
face of Aqua Smile Toothpaste.

No way! Carrie's the new
is-there-something-in-my-teeth girl?

Yeah.

So how's it going
with what's-her-face?

You mean Ally?

Oh, it's been incredible.

She's the best.

It's like, every day
we spend together...

is like the best day ever,

except that the day before
was just as amazing,

and I know that the next day is
gonna be just as amazing too.

So, I guess you could say that every
day is tied for the best day ever.

I'm sorry, were you
saying something?

Nope.

Anyway, how's Austin been dealing
with the whole not-performing thing?

You know what?

He's great. He's totally happy just
hanging out behind the scenes.

I mean, I'm totally happy for
Ally, but it's really hard for me

just hanging out
behind the scenes.

Austin doesn't even think
about playing music anymore.

All I ever think about
is playing music.

You know, I'm kind of sad that
tonight's the last show of the tour.

I gotta be honest, I'm kind of happy that
tonight's the last show of the tour.

So, I guess what
I'm saying is...

Hang on. Boynado is
driving me crazy.

So, I guess what I'm
trying to say is...

Hang on, Boynado's
driving me crazy.

I can't get their
song out of my head.

Love that song.

Thank you, Miami!

This show is extra special to me,
because this is my hometown.

And because...

My best friends are all here.

This song is called
no place like home.

Thank you.

Remember when you used to
play concerts like this?

Ugh, must be frustrating
to know that Jimmy Starr

will never let you
perform again.

Dez, can you please
stop talking?

Not only is what you're
saying very upsetting,

but your breath is
melting my face.

Hey, guys.

- Ally!
- Great show.

You killed it.

I am so glad you guys
are here with me.

Now that the tour's over, it's gonna be
nice for things to go back to normal.

I'm really looking forward
to going back to school.

- Really?
- Say what?

I'm confused.

I'm excited to go back to school

because the four of us get to
spend our senior year together.

Hey, I came up with a
cool nickname for us:

The fearsome foursome.

If you don't like it, we can
come up with something else.

It's not that.

Well, it is that, but also,
I'm not going back to school.

- What?
- Really?

Finally kicked you out?

I'm getting my diploma online, so I
can go back on the road with Boynado.

- Oh.
- Congrats.

Cool.

What?

Well, at least we're all
still gonna be together,

the fearsome threesome.

Dude, you know I'm going back to L.A.
for film school.

What?

But you said you were
making a film in Miami.

Yeah, a short film.

It's called, Ally
performs in Miami.

I just finished it.

My plan was always just to be here
for a few days, then head back.

Oh.

Don't be sad, bud.

Because then you'll make me sad.

I'm bummed Dez and Trish
aren't gonna be with us,

but at least I get to spend my
senior year with my girlfriend.

The fearsome twosome.

I mean, unless you're gonna tell me
that you're jetting off to Switzerland.

You're jetting off
to Switzerland?

Ronnie Ramone called
me before the show.

The tour did so well that he
booked me a European tour.

It... starts next week.

What about school?
You love school.

This is Ronnie now.

Sorry, Austin.

Ronnie, hey.

Well...

I guess now it's just
the fearsome onesome.

Hey, instead of being sad about
everyone going their separate ways,

let's talk about the next
time we can get together.

I'm free pretty much every
day, except, like...

No. I'm free always.

How about the first
weekend of October?

Yep, works for me.

I'm in Barcelona.

How about the sixth?

No, wait, I can't.

How about the seventh?

No, wait, I can't.

The eighth? No, wait, I can't.

The ninth?

- No, wait, I can't.
- Okay, forget October.

How about the first
weekend of November?

Yep, works for me.

I'm in Milan.

Well, when do you
get back, Ally?

Uh... Christmas.

Oh, I can do Christmas.

Oh, I can't.

Oh, wait, I can.

Great, so Christmas it is.

Yay!

That's kind of far away.

You're right.

Well, it'll be here
before you know it.

Anyway, I got you guys
a little something.

Matching backpacks.

They were supposed to be for school,
but why let them go to waste?

They all say "fearsome foursome"

and have our names on them.

Oh, how come mine says "Trish"?

Because that one's not yours.

Oh.

Oh, cool. Mine says "Ally."

Mom, can I talk to you a sec?

Hang on.

This mattress is supposed to
have a jump factor of 80,

and I'm only getting 63.

That's... horrible?

Yeah.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I guess I just have
a lot on my mind.

Oh, honey.

Come have a seat on this
relaxapedic memory foam

comfort sleeper, and
tell mommy all about it.

It's just...

I'm really...

Ooh, this is really comfortable.

- I know, right?
- Yeah.

Anyway... I was really looking forward
to senior year with my best friends,

and now I'm gonna be going
to school all by myself.

Sounds like someone's
mattress has lost its spring.

I can't even make music anymore.

When I was your age, I
felt exactly like you do.

I was lost and directionless.

My hair was losing its luster.

Ugh, it was dried out,

and brittle, and frizzy,
and I had split ends,

and I was suffering from dry
scalp, and I was like...

Can you please get to the point?

The point is, is I needed
a change in my life,

so I decided to go
to military school.

You think I should go
to military school?

Oh, it was the best
decision I ever made.

I made great friends there,
and every weekend we had

mixers with the kids from
the mattress academy.

That's where I met your father.

I don't know.

Oh, military school can give
you the confidence, structure,

and discipline your
life's missing.

But did it fix your hair?

You tell me.

I should get back to work now.

This week flew by.

It feels like we all just got here,
and now we're saying goodbye again.

I'm really gonna miss you guys.

One of you much more
than the other.

Sorry, Ally.

Me and Trish just have
this special thing.

Come on, Dez.

You're going back to film school,
and Carrie's there waiting for you.

She's not waiting for me.

Carrie broke up with me.

- What?
- Seriously?

A month ago.

I was too embarrassed
to tell anybody.

I don't want to go back to L.A.
I lied, it wasn't fun.

I was sad and lonely
there without you guys.

Aw, Dez, I'm so sorry.

I really thought you and Carrie
were so perfect for each other.

Oh, don't you think I know that?

Sorry.

Since we're being honest...

My summer touring with Boynado

wasn't as great as I
made it sound either.

Actually, you never
made it sound great.

You pretty much just complained
about it the whole time.

Well, those boys are
driving me nuts!

"Rupert ate my cereal."

"Nigel stole my trousers."

"Stop mocking me, Trish."

I miss just managing my friends.

Honestly...

I'm not that excited about
going back on tour.

I'm gonna miss Austin, and I really was
looking forward to our senior year.

Wait, why are we all going to
do things we don't want to do

when we can stay here and enjoy
our senior year together?

That's a great idea.

So we're all staying in Miami?

On three.

One, two, three.

- Senior year!
- Let's go manatees!

We're staying in Miami!

We probably should have planned what
we were gonna say before we did that.

We have to tell Austin.
He's gonna be so excited.

Oh, hey, Mrs. Moon.

Hey, guys.

Austin wanted me to
give you these letters.

He said not to read them
until after I leave.

Austin's going to
military school?

He didn't have the heart
to say goodbye in person?

He already left?

"Dear Dez"?

I can't believe Austin left for military
school without even saying goodbye.

We have to get down there and stop
him before he's officially enrolled.

Let's go.

Dez, please do something
about your breath.

It's like you have a dead
skunk in your mouth,

and that skunk has another
dead skunk inside of his.

I haven't brushed my teeth
since Carrie dumped me.

Now that she's doing
ads for Aqua Smile,

it's too painful to even
look at toothpaste.

Okay, according to the schedule,
registration is in a half hour.

After Austin signs his paperwork,
there's nothing we can do.

We gotta get in there
before it's too late.

Oh no.

This says Austin's at the school barber
right now getting his head shaved.

His hair is all he has left!

Really, Dez?

Austin's about to enroll
in military school,

and you're worried about
something as silly as his hair?

Those golden locks?

The way it flows in
the summer breeze.

How it perfectly
cascades behind his...

We've gotta get in there
before it's too late!

Dez, we'll distract the
guard so you can sneak in.

Okay, thank you.

Can I help you?

Yes.

Hello.

Yes.

You can help us.

- Right, Trish?
- Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, we're looking for our...

- Grandma.
- Bird.

Our bird's grandma.

Or our grandma's bird.

Which would make
much more sense.

Oh, look. It's a
bird over there.

And that's when she
flew out of the window.

The bird, not our grandma.

Grandma's don't fly.

- Doof.
- Excuse me?

Uh, Doof is our grandma's name.

Yep, old Nana Doof.

It sounds like a
real name, right?

That five-minute song and dance
routine was sweet and all,

but what does it have to do
with your grandma's bird?

Uh...

- What was that?
- I didn't hear anything.

- Ow!
- I didn't hear that either.

Mm-mm.

Guys, I got us in.
Come on, let's go.

You, come here.

What is going on here?

Uh... I'm their grandma's bird.

Ca... caw?

We weren't really looking
for old Nana Doof's bird.

It's true.

I'm not a bird.

We were just trying to sneak in
to see our friend Austin moon.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Go on in.

- Really?
- Seriously?

Sure, students have
visitors all the time.

You just have to sign in, and I
will give you an I.D. Badge.

Sweet.

And a breath mint.

Not the hair!

No-oo!

Austin, I can't fix it!

- Huh?
- What?

Austin?

What did they do to your face?

Guys?

- Austin!
- It's you!

What are you doing here?

You can't go to military school.

We came here to stop you.

What? Why?

We all decided to stay in Miami, so we
can enjoy our senior year together.

Are you serious?

- Yes!
- All right!

The fearsome foursome is back!

- Yeah, not so much.
- It's getting really old.

We're not doing that.

Man, I love that song.

I'm really glad everyone
decided to stay.

This year's gonna
be the best, man.

You said it. I
couldn't be happier.

Nothing could bring me down.

Hey, is there something
in my teeth?

Carrie!

What's going on?

- We're brushing your teeth.
- Whether you like it or not.

Is that Aqua Smile?

No-oo!