Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 2, Episode 6 - Big Dreams & Big Apples - full transcript

Subs created by: David Coleman.

Honey?

We just got the first guitar
in from our new supplier.

It only cost us 10 bucks.

How do they make a
guitar so cheap?

They don't... you do.

The instructions
are right there.

- They're in Korean.
- Good luck!

Or I should say...

Guess who got a job
at Puffy's Pillows?

Best job ever.



Wow! I've never seen you so
excited about a job before.

I demonstrate how comfy the pillows
are by sleeping on them all day.

It's my dream job... I
literally get paid to dream.

Hey, guys, great news!

Starr Records is going to
produce our next music video.

Woo!

- And I'm directing it.
- Way to go!

I thought Jimmy Starr only worked
with big-name video directors.

How'd you convince
him to hire you?

Dez pitched him this amazing
concept for the video.

It's about first love.

I'm going to set it in an Amusement
Park, because love is like a ride...

It's exciting, scary and dizzying, and
in the end, you just want to throw up.

You've never been
in love, have you?



No, but I have thrown up a lot.

Trish, can you get us
an Amusement Park?

I think we need permits for that.
It could take forever.

Oh.

Maybe we wouldn't need
permits if we knew someone

who could get a job
at an Amusement Park.

Someone who gets new
jobs really easily.

Mmm?

Someone who seems to get
a new job every day.

- I'm talking to you, Trish.
- Oh, come on!

I'm getting paid to sleep. I've
never been better at a job.

- Please, Trish!
- Pretty please!

Fine. I'll get fired from Puffy's
Pillows, and get a job a Phil's Fun Town.

Yes!

I'll just sleep when Dez tells me
about his day, like I normally do.

Thanks, Trish.

Wait, what?

Finished! That wasn't
as hard as I thought.

Whoa! Cool guitar. Let me try.

Oh.

Maybe these weren't
extra screws.

Eh!

♪ When the crowd wants more,
I bring on the thunder.

♪ 'Cause you've got my back,
and I'm not going under.

♪ You're my point,
you're my guard.

♪ You're the perfect chord.

♪ And I see our names
together on every billboard.

♪ We're headed for the
top, we've got it on lock.

♪ We'll make 'em say "hey!"

♪ And we'll keep rockin'.

♪ Oh, there's no way I
could make it without ya.

♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.

♪ It's no fun when
you're doing it solo.

♪ With you it's like, "whoa".
Yeah, and I know.

♪ I own this dream.

♪ 'Cause I got you with me.

♪ There's no way I could
make it without ya.

♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.

Keep your hands and feet inside the
car, no throwing food at the top,

no standing, no rocking, and
finally, are either of you pregnant?

I have to ask.

Enjoy the Wheel of Terror.

Okay!

We'll start shooting as soon as the actress
who plays Austin's girlfriend shows up.

Man, how fun is Phil's Fun Town?

I've spent the morning scraping
gum off the carousel horses.

There's nothing fun about
this job, unicorn boy.

Why would you call me unicorn...

Oh, unicorn boy. I get it.

Great idea making Ally
the wardrobe girl.

Your clothes are all crooked.

Hmm.

Looked great in the
dressing-room mirror.

All right, we're no longer using
the fun house as a dressing room.

- Wardrobe!
- Coming!

Fix Austin's clothes and ask the
makeup girl why his face is so shiny.

We don't have a makeup girl.

Oh. Okay, well, from now on,
you can be the makeup girl.

Why is his face so shiny?!

Whoa.

Who's that?

That's Kira. She's
playing your girlfriend.

She's flawless.

Hi, Austin, I'm Kira.
I'm such a huge fan.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Okay, she's got one flaw.
Her breath...

Reeks!

I'm sure it's not that bad.

Okay, Kira, our first scene's
going to be on the Ferris Wheel.

Ooh, how exciting!

Ah! Yes! It is exciting.

Our wardrobe girl Ally
will be right with you.

Okay, it is that bad. Maybe
we should say something.

You guys can't do that.
It'll hurt her feelings.

She's hurting my nose's feelings.
Go talk to her. You'll see.

Hey, Kira, I'm Ally,
the wardrobe girl.

- Oh, is that for me?
- No!

It's for me. My nose
is always cold.

Ha!

Okay, her breath is not
as fresh as it could be,

but I still don't think
we should say anything.

Austin, she looks great on camera
and it's only a two-day shoot.

Just deal with it.

Trish, we're ready to roll!

Attention, the Wheel of
Terror ride is now closed.

Please vacate the area.

No fair!

I've been waiting
here for an hour.

You can't close the ride!

Aw, now you're too short.

You couldn't have gotten
on the ride anyway.

Fine, but I want the face
of this sad child...

Stuck in your brain.

I'll file it with the others.

Okay, guys, remember,
you're in love.

So I want you nose to nose,
gazing into each other's eyes.

Do we have to be nose to nose?
Can't we be back to back?

No! That is not my vision.

Trish, start her up.

Enjoy the Wheel of Terror.

And...

Action!

Okay, Trish, when it gets to the
top, I want you to slow it down

so I can see their faces
as they come around.

You can do that, can't you?

I don't know, because
pulling a lever is so hard.

Huh!

It's harder than it looks.

- Why did we stop?
- I don't know.

But I hope it's not for long
because I'm scared of heights.

Ah... we probably
shouldn't sit too close.

If the car gets
imbalanced, we'll fall,

and it'll be a horrible breath...
I mean death.

Okay, now I'm really scared.

You'll be fine. Just
take deep breaths.

Okay, take small breaths,
really small breaths.

What's the hold up down there?

Trish is on the phone with maintenance.
I'm sure they'll be here any minute.

More like any hour.

The maintenance man is still fixing
the roller coaster I broke earlier.

It's gonna be an hour.

No!

No!

Yes!

Yes!

And then when I turned seven, my dad got
me a new cat to replace Mr. Whiskers.

Sorry I'm babbling. Talking
helps to calm me down.

Are you crying?

That last story
really got to me.

I can't imagine why Mr. Whiskers
would run away from you.

I don't know either.
He had it so good.

Every night, I would hold his little
face to mine and sing to him.

- Do you want to hear the song?
- No! No no.

♪ Happy little kitty...

♪ Ha ha ha.

♪ Quiet little kitty...

♪ Hush hush hush!.

Thank you, Mr. Maintenance Man.

Oh oh! I'm out! Woo!

Sweet, sweet freedom.

Thank you so much for getting us down.
What can I do to repay you?

Uh...

Don't say another word
and we'll call it even.

I can't go on any
more rides with Kira.

Dez, you've got to
get a new girl!

You can't, Dez. You don't understand
how fragile a girl's ego is.

If you make her feel
insecure, she'll die inside.

I think something
already died inside.

I'm gonna get Kira ready
for the next scene,

because I know you're going to do the
right thing and not replace her.

Forget about her feelings.
I can't replace her

because we're about to shoot the two
of you in the big hamster-ball ride.

Hamster ball?

Are you crazy?

You want me in an
air-tight bubble with...

Her?!

Yes.

The hamster ball represents
your own little world of love.

It's like you share
the same heart...

Breathe the same air.

I don't want to
breathe the same air.

I know you don't, but I love the passion.
Use that in the scene.

Help! Help!

Guys, the zipper broke! Ally's stuck
in the hamster ball with Kira.

Hang on, Ally!

Oh no!

Ah!

Oh! Help!

Hey, maintenance guy!
Help again!

Help! Help!

Help help! Help help!

I was wrong. You
gotta replace her.

That's what I've been saying.
Dez, you've got to do this.

All right, let me think. If we cast a
new girl before we shoot tomorrow.

I can cut her on the stuff
we've already shot and...

Kira, we need to talk.

You don't need to
use the bullhorn.

Well, I don't want to
talk to her up close.

Here comes the head
of your record label.

Jimmy's here?

- Sweetie!
- Daddy!

Jimmy is Kira's dad?

Aw, man, you know
what that means?

She'll have a ride home
after we fire her?

No, it means we can't fire her.

No!

No!

Yes!

Yes!

Jimmy!

We didn't know Kira
was your daughter.

I wanted her to get
the part on her own.

Well, let me tell you, she
takes our breath away.

I've always known
she was talented.

Ever since she sang to that
cat before he ran away.

Aw, daddy!

How can you stand that?

That we're keeping your
little angel away from you?

We talk a lot on the phone.

I wish we had that option.

Listen, Dez, I'm taking a big chance
putting you in charge of this video.

I expect great things.

Show me around the set, Sweetie.

Okay.

Well, over here is the bottle toss.
If you look...

I was talking to my daughter.

What are we gonna do? The big
kissing scene is coming up.

All we have to do is freshen
Kira's breath without her knowing.

I agree, but you
gotta be subtle.

Please! I know how to be subtle.

Mints! Get your free mints here.

Aw, man, none left for us.

Lucky for you there's one left.

I call it!

Here, Kira, I got
you a corn dog.

A little mustard, a
little special sauce...

Hey, look, someone
just won a goldfish.

Enjoy.

Uh, no thanks.

Corn dogs are gross.

I'm just gonna eat this garlic
and anchovy pizza instead.

Ha! Hot.

- Here's the mouthwash.
- Hope this works.

- I hope you pour faster. Go go go!
- I'm going. Don't tell me what to do.

Okay, now you're both having
fun at the squirt-gun booth.

And...

Action!

Kira, turn to Austin and give
him a big open-mouthed smile.

Wider.

Wider! Wider!

Ah! Hey!

You're silly.

Oh! No, no, no!

We can't get Kira to freshen her breath.
Nothing's working.

That girl can't take
a hint or a mint.

What are we going to do?
We can't fire her.

Plan B... we're going to get her to
quit by making me seem disgusting.

I'm going to drool all over her.

I'm attaching this drool tube to Austin's
cheek using this fake piece of skin.

You won't even
know he has it on.

A little bit here, a little to the
left, a lot to the right. Here and...

Check it out!

Ewe!

Awesome!

All right, time for the kissing scene.
Ally, go get Kira.

Trish, you shut down
the tubs o' fun ride.

The tubs o' fun
ride is now closed.

Please vacate the area.

Again?!

You're destroying my
childhood memories!

Memories are overrated.
Stop living in the past.

Go on.

All right, guys, I'm fighting the clock
so this'll be the last shot of the day.

And...

Action!

You're two kids in love.
You're in a bucket.

Now kiss!

Ah!

What's wrong?

Uh, nothing.

All right, let's try this again.

Austin, lean in for the kiss.

Ewe! I'm sorry, I can't do this.

I, uh, forgot that I don't
want to be an actress.

Yay!

- It worked!
- Ewe!

You heard her. She doesn't
even want to be an actress.

We didn't need the
drool tube after all.

Girls!

Oh, hi. Excuse me. Hello.

What are all these
girls doing here?

We're recasting Austin's
girlfriend for the video.

It may take a while. Austin and Dez
are being really picky this time.

Breathe, please.

Next.

I don't even want to know.

Austin, I heard what happened.

You did?

How could you not tell me you
have a drooling problem?

- What?
- Kira told me you drool.

It's okay, son.

I too was a drooler.

Uh, well...

Then you must know...
it's been hard.

We know it bothered
Kira, but don't worry.

We're recasting now so
we can finish the video.

Forget it. Thank you
for coming, ladies.

Austin, there's someone here
who wants to apologize.

Austin...

I'm sorry for quitting.

I shouldn't have been so insensitive
about your drooling problem.

Um, that... that's okay.

So good news... I've decided
to finish the video.

Great.

Now we can do the kissing scene.

You better not enjoy it.

Oh, trust me, I won't.

My daughter's reaction made me realize
that your drooling story needs to be told.

It does?

I've arranged for you to speak to the
Kids' Club of Miami this afternoon.

Tell them how drooling didn't keep
you from achieving your dreams.

- Well, it didn't.
- Great!

Let's go, Kira.

Perfect! Now I have
to kiss Kira...

And let the whole world know I have
a disgusting drooling problem.

It's okay, buddy.

We'll get through this
drooling problem together.

I don't have a drooling problem!

But you clearly have
some anger problems.

It's probably a side effect
of the drooling problem.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Austin Moon!

Thank you.

Austin's about to give his speech
to the Kids' Club of Miami.

- Is his drooling rig ready?
- Yep, the tank's all full.

It took me hours to fill
it up with my drool.

Why didn't you just
fill it up with water?

Hi, kids, I'm Austin Moon,
and I drool... a lot!

But I didn't let that stop
me from pursuing my dreams.

Woo!

Now that is inspiring.

Woo!

Give him a little more drool.
The kids can barely see it.

Oh, trust me, he's going
to get a lot more drool.

No, seriously, this knob
just came off in my hand.

Fix it!

If you work hard and don't give up, success
will flow out of you like a river.

Ewe!

Ah!

It's those kind of reactions
that you have to rise above.

Austin, what's going on?

Jimmy!

Look, Jimmy, the truth is I don't
actually have a drooling problem.

No, really?

The tube dangling from your
face kind of gave it away.

Sorry, Jimmy. We lied about the
drooling so Kira would quit the video.

Austin didn't want to
kiss her because...

- She has bad breath.
- Bad breath?

We're talking really bad. On
a scale of one to 10, 87.

- At least.
- 89, really.

How could you not know?

Well, when I was eight, I had a
procedure to fix my drooling...

Took away my sense of smell.

So you don't smell
anything right now?

Nope.

Dez, we can still smell.

Gross!

I'm sorry, Jimmy, we
should have been honest.

But we didn't want to
hurt Kira's feelings.

And you're not going
to hurt them now.

I'll deal with her breath later, but
we've got a video to finish tonight.

So you'd better
figure something out.

Wait! I know how we can
do the kissing scene.

♪ Walked up to you, it was
a grey December Monday.

♪ Asked for directions
on the street.

♪ Do you remember, it was
cold and it was raining.

♪ But it felt like
summertime to me.

♪ Because when you
opened up your mouth.

♪ It was like
sunshine coming out.

♪ You changed the world
outside my window.

♪ Right there you
blew my heart away.

♪ And I remember when I met you.

♪ Thinking that you are
not an ordinary girl.

♪ This wasn't gonna
be no ordinary day.

♪ Yeah.

♪ Ordinary day.

♪ No...

♪ No ordinary day ay ay ay ay.

♪ No ordinary day.

♪ Oh yeah.

♪ No ordinary day.

Woo!

Wow, the video looks great, Dez.

- Thanks. I heard Jimmy likes it.
- He loves it.

I really appreciate you guys wearing
those masks so I don't catch your colds.

No problem.

- Very sick.
- So contagious.

I know why your cat ran away.

I hope you guys had fun,
because I just got fired.

What happened?

Somebody complained about me.

I wonder who.

Hey, look a photo booth! Let's take some
picture's so we don't forget this day.

Oh, great idea.

Not of the photo booth,
us in the photo booth.

Okay, come on.

- Scooch over!
- Yeah, move over!

- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Smile!

♪ Oh yeah.

♪ No ordinary day.