Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 1, Episode 5 - Bloggers & Butterflies - full transcript

Oh.

Pah!

Oh. Pants sundae.

Oh.

Mmm.

I can't believe this
is on the Internet.

I thought I was alone.

Austin, you know there's
no eating in the store.

And there's definitely no
eating off your pants.

There's no sign for that.

There shouldn't
have to be a sign.



To not eat off your pants.

Guess who got a job at
pirate Frank's fish fry.

Where every meal is a parrrr-ty.

This is the worst
job I've ever had.

I smell like fish guts.

And guess who my
new coworker is.

Ahoy, mateys!

I just got hired
at pirate Frank's,

Where every meal is a parrrr-ty.

I can't wait to starrrr-t.

I can save up to buy a carrrr.

Guys, we've got
bigger problems...

- This blog.
- Oh, Miami h8ter girl.

She writes about everything
she hates in Miami.



She's so angry and bitter.

I love her.

Well, right now all
she hates is Austin.

I mean look at all these
embarrassing videos she's posted.

Austin with broccoli
in his teeth.

Austin biting his toenails.

Austin checking out a girl.

Oh!

That was so embarrassing.

Trish, did you
just click "like"?

Hey, funny is funny.

♪ when the crowd wants more ♪

♪ bring on the thunder

♪ 'cause you've got my back

♪ you're the perfect chord ♪

♪ and I see our names
together on every billboard ♪

♪ we're headed for the top,
we've got it on lock ♪

♪ we'll make 'em say "hey!" ♪

♪ and we'll keep rockin'

♪ oh, there's no way I
could make it without ya ♪

♪ do it without ya,
be here without ya ♪

♪ it's no fun when
you're doing it solo ♪

♪ with you it's like,
"whoa," yeah, and I know ♪

♪ I own this dream

♪ 'cause I got you with me

♪ there's no way I could
make it without ya ♪

♪ do it without ya,
be here without ya. ♪

I can't believe
blogger who hates me.

Don't worry. Only
has like 47 hits.

112 hits.

1,059.

Okay, maybe worry.

We gotta find out
who h8ter girl is.

I'm performing at the
mall this weekend.

And I can't have all
this bad publicity.

Oh, I've got it!
Embarrassing stuff, o.

So don't do anything
embarrassing.

You have broccoli in
your teeth again.

Keep happening?

I don't even eat broccoli.

Maybe you should do
only good things.

So h8ter girl to put on her site.
Bad.

Great idea.

Hey, Nelson, come here.

How would you like a
shiny new quarter.

- To make a wish in the fountain?
- Thanks.

I'm gonna wish for a mustache.

Yup, Austin moon is a good guy.

Who makes little kids'
wishes come true.

Nelson! Oh!

I got you, Nelson.
Hang in there, buddy.

Are you okay? Are you okay?

It's gonna be okay. I... oh!

You're supposed to let
go of the quarter.

When you throw it
in the fountain.

So no mustache?

- Sorry, Nelson.
- Aw, nartz.

Austin...

You just saved Nelson.

Whoo!

I'd like to see h8ter
girl make that look bad.

"Austin dunks defenseless
boy into fountain"?

Wow, h8ter girl is good.

I mean bad. I mean
good at being bad,

Because she's a bad person
but she's just so good.

At being a bad... I'll
stop talking now.

Here you go. Sorrrr-y I
messed it up the first time.

Dez, what are you doing?

Frying a football. This thing
isn't just for frying fish.

You can fry anything in here.

Look,

A hammer,

My purse.

That's my purse.

Oh, that makes so
much more sense.

- Pirate Trish.
- Yes, pirate Frank?

I have to go walk the plank.

That's pirate for
"use the bathroom."

While I'm gone

I need you to take
out the trash,

Mop the floor and
batter the fish sticks.

Aye aye, Captain.
I live to serve.

Pirate Frank wants you
to take out the trash,

Mop the floor and
batter the fish sticks.

Oh man! What'd he
tell you to do?

Read this fashion magazine.

Ha ha, sucker!

Where's my cellphone?

I got it.

I'd give it a few minutes to
cool off before you answer it.

Ah.

What's with the tent?

I'm living here until
the mall concert.

So h8ter girl can't get any
more bad footage of me.

I've got everything I need...

Food, video games, a bathroom...

But that's a closet.

Oh. Might not wanna go
in there for awhile.

All right, first... eww.

Second, I think
you're overreacting.

It's just a harmless website.

It's not like h8ter girl
is gonna ruin your career.

H8ter girl is ruining
your career.

- See?
- The owner of the mall saw.

The video of you dunking Nelson into
the fountain and cancelled your kig.

Apparently the mall has a no-dunking-kids-
into-the-fountain policy.

So strict.

That does it. We
need to find out.

Who h8ter girl is and stop her.

You're right, we can't let her
hurt your career any more.

Come on, guys, let's...

- What's with your shoes?
- I fried 'em.

Delicious.

There's no eating
shoes in the store.

- There's no sign that says...
- There shouldn't have to be.

A sign to not eat your shoes.

Fine.

Me? You shush.

Don't shush me. You shush.

- Can you just go?
- Dez, go. Just go.

So why do we think h8ter
girl's going to show up?

'cause Dez emailed her and said he
had embarrassing pictures of me.

She said to leave them
in that recycling bin.

When h8ter girl
comes to get them,

We'll find out who she is.
It's perfect.

She'll have no idea
we're hiding here.

Hurry up, you doof!

The chicken is in the Bucket.

- Is that code for you made the drop?
- No, I brought chicken.

I thought we might
be here for a while.

- Mmm.
- Good call.

Stakeouts can take all night.

The key is to stay
alert and awake.

The recycling bin is gone!

Do you think h8ter girl took it?

No, it sprouted
legs and ran away.

Now what? We blew our shot.

- At catching h8ter girl.
- Sorry, Austin,

But look on the bright side...

At least she didn't get any
embarrassing photos of you.

All she got was an
empty envelope.

"old school photo
of Austin moon"?

Why did you give
her real pictures?

Because I promised.

She may be an evil blogger who's
out to destroy my best friend,

But I am a man of my word.

This h8ter girl's
driving me nuts.

You know what's driving me nuts?

Trying to read a magazine
with a hook hand.

Your uniform could
be a lot worse.

At least you're not the one
who has to greet customers.

Dressed as a catfish.

Wait a sec.

That catfish doesn't work here.

We don't serve catfish.

We don't even serve real fish.

That fish has been watching
us for five minutes.

That must be h8ter girl.

I'll get her.

Tell pirate Frank
I've gone fishing.

Hey, you catfish!

Gotcha!

- Oh oh, you've got her!
- Come on, get 'em!

You've got her, just keep going.
Keep going.

Use those pirate muscles!
Trish: You can do it.

Let's see who h8ter girl is.

Tilly Thompson?

You know her?

We went to
kindergarten together.

You're h8ter girl?

H8ter girl?

You mean that beautiful,
amazingly talented girl.

Who has that awesome website
about how much I hate Austin?

Never heard of her.

- Wait wait, hold on.
- Whoa whoa.

You realize you just
admitted you're h8ter girl.

I hate it when I admit things.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it!

So how did you get all
those videos of me?

I was always around you.
You just didn't realize,

Because I'm a
master of disguise.

Here's me as a cowboy,

A biker, and here's my favorite.

That lady pushing the stroller
doesn't look anything like you.

I'm the baby.

Wah! Wah! Burp me!

Look, tilly, you seem like.

A really nice, not-crazy girl.

- Why do you hate me?
- I don't hate you.

In fact, I think you're
an amazing singer.

Really? Thanks.

- I hate her!
- What?

- What did I do?
- Oh, don't act like you don't know.

I'm not acting. I
really don't know.

You mean you don't spend
every minute of every day.

Thinking about my song you
ruined in kindergarten?

No.

A person who dwells on
something every minute.

Of every day for 10 years
would have to be insane...

Ly talented.

And pretty.

How did Ally ruin your song?

We were both in Mrs.
Carmichael's class.

As usual, Ally was being
her little bossy self.

There's no eating
in the classroom.

I was in that class too.

Guess who got a job
as the hall monitor!

The spring pageant was coming up.
This year's theme was insects.

I wrote "the ladybug
song." it was brilliant.

♪ I'm a little ladybug.

♪ I have black polka dots.

♪ I love to eat pizza
and ride my bicycle. ♪

Everybody lov it.

It was kind of cute,

But the lyrics wfre a
little all over the place.

I mean, ladybugs
don't ride bikes.

Oh, like you know
everything about ladybugs.

I... I don't know everything,

Just that they don't ride bikes.

Whatever. The point is.

You had to go and write
"the butterfly song."

♪ I'm a little butterfly

♪ spread my colorful wings

♪ even though I'm
small and frail ♪

♪ I can do most anything.

Everybody hat it.

And then the class picked which song
was going to be in the insect play.

Which one did they pick?
Which one did they pick?

- They picked Ally's.
- Oh, no way.

I would be so mad if I were you.

- You were saying?
- Not fair!

My song was better!

Ally, you will pay for this!

Have fun singing with no lyrics.

There's no eating
in the classroom.

That was a special day for me.

It was the first time I realized
I wanted to be a songwriter.

It was a special day for me too.

It was the first time I
got fired from a job.

Apparently a hall monitor can't
charge kids to use the bathroom. Huh.

Well, it wasn't a
special day for me.

It was the day Ally
destroyed my dreams.

Look, tilly,

It was kindergarten.
We were kids.

"kinder" is German for kids.

And "garten" is
German for meatloaf.

Kindergarten...
meatloaf made of kids.

Your brain is made of meatloaf.

- I don't understand.
- Well, it's one part kid,

- One part hamburger, put 'em togher...
- No. Why are you.

Taking it out on me if
you're mad at Ally?

Because I figured by
ruining your career,

I'll ruin her career.

It's the perfect way
to get my revenge.

Wait, wouldn't it be easier to
get revenge on Ally directly?

That's a great idea.

- Dez!
- I'm just saying cut out the middle man.

Besides, it's not like I
told her how to get revenge,

Like using your stage fright
against you or something.

Dez!

That's exactly what
I'm going to do.

We're gonna have a little
show here at the mall.

And reverse what happened
in kindergarten,

You're gonna sing
your butterfly song.

And look stupid because
of your stage fright.

And I'm gonna sing
"the ladybug song"

And everybody's
going to love me.

Uh, what if I don't sing
the butterfly song?

Then I'm going to keep posting
bad stuff about Austin.

And make sure he never
plays another gig again.

Ladies and gentlemen, singing
"the butterfly song,"

Ally Dawson!

♪ I'm a little butterfly...

I can't do this.

They're staring at me.

They're stuffed animals.
They don't blink.

Well, that one laughed at me.

It's Larry the laughing lizard.

That's what he does.

I just don't get it.

You didn't have stage
fright in kindergarten.

- What happened since then?
- I don't wanna talk about it.

I mean, now you can't even sing
in front of a bunch of sweet,

Little fuzzy animals with their cute
little eyes. And can I keep this one?

Look, Austin, I promise
if I ever want to talk.

About my stage fright,
you'll be the one I go to.

It's really sweet that you care.

Now give me back
Dougie the dolphin.

You know you don't have to go onstage
and embarrass yourself like this.

Yes, I do.

If I don't, tilly's gonna
destroy your career.

I'd rather face my biggest
fear than have that happen.

Thanks, Ally. That means a lot.

You're gonna sing as beautiful
as the sunset out there.

Don't touch my dolphin.

I can't believe
tilly's forcing Ally.

To sing onstage and we're
not there to see it.

Well, you're a good friend
for wanting to support her.

No. She could have a meltdown.

And yak on someone
in the front row.

I don't wanna miss that.

But yeah, also the
support thing.

We could ask for the night off.

That's not how I do things.
We need to get fired.

In that case, there is something
that I have been dying to do.

I can't believe it!

You deep-fried the
entire restaurant!

You're fired!

Thanks, everybody,
for coming out.

You're about to
hear two songs...

One great one and
one terrible one.

I'm not gonna say
which is which.

Here to sing the terrible song...
Ally Dawson.

You can do this. I have
total faith in you.

Those of you in the front row.

Might wanna take a
few steps back.

Oh!

Oh, Mike's not working.

Testing testing, check one, two.

It's working fine.

- Thank you, Dez.
- You're welcome.

Uh, um, um, uh,

Um um um um.

- Um...
- Hi, I'm Austin moon.

And I'm here to sing
a song for you.

- What are you doing?
- I don't care if tilly destroys my career.

I'd rather that happen
than let you suffer.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

Thank you, Austin. That is the nicest
thing that anyone has ever done.

Aww.

Gotta go, bye.

This isn't part of the deal.

If Ally doesn't sing
her stupid song,

Then I'm gonna keep posting fake stuff
about you on my h8ter girl website.

Whoa, you heard her, folks.

That's h8ter girl and she faked the
stuff about me on her website.

Boo!

I hate it when I admit things.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it!

Yeah yeah, you hate things.

Join the club. Let's
go, wackadoodle.

Now I'm gonna sing the best song
ever written by a five-year-old.

"the ladybug song"?

"the butterfly song."

no!

This song was written
by my partner Ally.

It's special to her because
it made her realize.

She wanted to be a songwriter.

And that makes her
special to me too.

♪ I'm a little butterfly

♪ spread my colorful wings

♪ even though I'm
small and frail ♪

♪ I can do most anything

♪ caterpillar in my cocoon.

♪ I'm gonna be a
butterfly soon ♪

♪ I'm a little butterfly.

♪ I can soar through the sky ♪

♪ so glad I ended up like this ♪

♪ thanks to metamorphosis.

♪ I'm a butterfly.

♪ I'm a butterfly

♪ yeah, I'm a butterfly.

Austin, that was really sweet,

What you did yesterday. I
want you to have this.

Dougie! Oh.

- You like stuffed animals?
- Pfft. No.

I'll pick him up later.

What are you guys watching?

H8ter girl's meltdown. This
is all over the Internet.

Tilly was so embarrassed,

She shut down her
h8ter girl website.

I guess we won't have to be
worrying about her anymore.

Ooh... cute little baby...

Miss me?