Ash vs Evil Dead (2015–2018): Season 2, Episode 5 - Confinement - full transcript

"Misartra."

- (Amber hissing)
- (Tyler screaming)

- Ash?
- Linda Bates.

_ This part _- Wow!
Y IS popping off, mam

- (distorted) I'm warning you.
- (chainsaw buzzing)

(screams)
Ashy Slashy's going to kill us all!

Been a lot of weird shit
happening around town lately.

We got to move.

If we do not get to my spawn
before they raise Baal,

I will not have the strength
to fight him.

Ash!
The Delta, it's possessed!



We're going to die here.
This car's going to kill us.

Pablo, our destinies
are intertwined.

I had a vision. This is how
we get rid of the book for good.

- (roars)
" (gasps)

The Necronomicon...
it's gone.

Pablo: Come on, Ash.
Let's go home.

(roars)

Woman:
Lincoln 61, 10-23, over.

Woman over radio:
10-4. Copy that, Margie.

Standby, over.

(rattling)

(door creaks open)

- (door closes)
- (sighs)

(whirring)



Jesus.

' (Squishing)
' (groans)

(clicks tongue) Oh.

Baal:
(whispering) Margie.

Margie.

Come to me.

(water dripping)

(gasps)

Polly, it's Margie,
over at the lounge.

I've got a situation here.

I need you and the sheriff
to get over here as--

- (radio beeps)
- Woman over radio: Come back Margie.

- Say again.
- Step back right now, or I'll shoot.

Woman on radio:
Margie, come back.

(distorted)
You don't need that.

Shh.

(sighs)

(moaning)

Baal:
I'm not done with you yet.

(music playing)

- (dog barking)
- (cat meowing)

Ash:
♪ Once again I saved the world I

I Now it's time to get the girl ♪

♪ Time to go to the shop,
get the car back ♪

♪ Get on the road
to Jack-son-ville ♪

♪ Something, something,
rhymes with Jacks... ♪

Well, hello.
(clears throat)

"Linda, from the moment
I saw you,

I realized, that you were
one of the only Lindas for me."

Yeah, that'll work.

Strap on the old chainsaw,
give it a few revs, seal the deal.

(chuckles)

- ♪ Highway to Jackson... ♪
- (siren wails)

Ash Williams,

you're under arrest
for the murder of Amber Corey.

Okay, for starters, you can take
your booger finger off that trigger...

(groans)

Well, this is some grade-A stupidity.

This whole town
should be thanking me.

- (scoffs)
- Yeah, that's what I told them, too!

- Chet.
- Huh?

- They got you too?
- Yeah, but you know what?

It was worth it.
Know why?

'Cause we fought evil together,
even if it was just for a minute.

- Chet Kaminski.
- Yeah.

Need your signature here.

You're being officially charged with drunk
driving and solicitation of a prostitute.

- Again.
- Mm-hmm.

- (door buzzes)
- Oh, hey.

(chuckles)
Um, Ash, Joanie. Joanie, Ash.

Hey, Joanie, how are you?

(deep voice)
You know, itchy.

I know that feeling.

- Chet, how are you?
- Itchy, too.

Great work, Margie.

You got the perp in custody,

and, uh, I think we're looking at
the murder weapon right here.

Take that down
to the evidence locker.

I want to make sure
we put this guy away for a long time.

- You got it, sir.
- (door opens)

_ Daddy'? Daddy.
- Baby'?.

Daddy! (crying)

- Are you all right?
- No.

I found her on the shower floor.

- What?
- Doped up,

and rambling about killer cars.

And now Amber's mom is calling me,
saying that her daughter's missing.

Ash:
Hey, that's my phone call!

- What...
- I get a phone call!

- Is that Ash?
- Uh-huh.

Thomas,
what is going on around here?

- Don't worry about him. Marge?
- I'll deal with him.

Oh, come on, let's get you
down here on the couch.

(door squeaking)

(electricity buzzing)

Ah.

(buttons beep)

Hey, I want a lawyer.

Then call one.

Who's gonna stop you?

Wow.

Are all lady cops as soft
and cuddly as you?

Come on, handsome.
Phone's that way.

(chuckles) Don't worry, Chet.
I'll send you a fruitcake.

Chet:
Oh, great. What?

- You've got five, sugar.
- Oh, I got eight.

But I know
how to make it feel like five.

(Margie scoffs)

Hey, lady cop, phone's dead.

(Margie whistling)

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Baal on phone:
They call you the "Jefe"?

- Who is this?
- Let's see what you're made of.

(dial tone beeping)

Lacey:
Dad, you're not listening to me.

(indistinct whispering)

Excuse me.
We're looking for Ash Williams?

- We heard he got arrested.
- That's right.

Ah. Howdy, cowboy.

Keeping dry?

Uh, what is she talking about?

I, uh...

Just tell us where Ash is, dipshit.

I'm right here.

There is some bad juju in this place,
and we've got...

Hey, good-looking.

You here to break me out,
or break me in?

Don't move. Margie!

- What do you mean, "There's bad juju?"
- Hey! That means you, too.

- Nobody move!
- Whoa.

I'll explain later. Right now,
we got to lock, load, and regroup.

- (all groan)
- (siren wails)

- Emery: Oh, come on now.
- Oh, Christ.

- (gasping)
- What do you got, huh?!

- 0h, my God!
' What do you got?!

What the fuck is that?!

Lady cop?

- (Lacey gasps)
- (Linda groans)

Margie?

You son of a bitch!

It's not Ash.

Then who was it?

- (whispers) He's here.
- Who's where?

Give me your keys.

- Now.
- Okay.

Okay. I got it.

Slower, please.

- I'll lock it down.
- (door opens)

- You got any prisoners back there?
- Yes.

Go get them.
I want everyone in plain sight.

Okay, uh, obviously
I know exactly what's going on,

but for the sake of these people,
uh, maybe you should explain.

There's a demon in here,

and I'm going to kill him
before he kills all of us.

His name is Baal.

And right now
he's hidden among us.

Exactly,
think that covers the basics.

You see, Baal jumps
from person to person.

Wearing their skin.

Okay, I-l think we got it.

And right now,
he could be in any one of you.

So nobody leaves
until he's dead.

This can't be happening.
This can't be real.

Well, I'm sorry, sweetheart,
but it's true.

- Demons are real.
- Damn straight.

- I seen them.
- Sit down.

- (man groaning)
- Th-this is insane.

Mom. Look, Mom, look.
They're telling the truth, okay?

There was an evil car
that ran down my friends,

and a talking book.

Just one man brave enough
to defeat them all.

- Thank you.
- I meant Pablo.

Pablo: Hmm?

I don't know what you did
to my daughter, Ash Williams,

but I don't need a firearm
to kick your ass.

Okay, clearly the demon is inside
of this walking penis.

Just give me the gun, I'll take care
of him, we'll go for pancakes.

Sorry, Ash,
could just as easily be you.

Hey, come on, sister.
What's the deal?

- Same team.
- Can't take that risk.

You see,
this is what Baal wants.

For us all to start fighting
among ourselves.

He locks us in a cage,
turns us into animals,

and watches us
devour one another.

And then when we're done,
he comes on in

and picks off whoever's left.

Okay, so how do we deal
with this Bill guy,

'cause I can't stop thinking
about pancakes.

- Kelly and Ruby: It's Baal.
- Oh, Jesus.

We need the Kandarian dagger.

- Where is it?
- Oh, someone confiscated it.

Tell me where it is.

Okay-

It's in the evidence locker.

It's just down those stairs.

Now take it easy. Ah!

- Daddy!Dad!
- Jesus!

- (groaning)
- 0h. my God!

It's hot. All yours.

Man: Okay.

We're all dead, aren't we?

Hey, we'll get through this,
all right?

(electricity buzzing)

(growling)

' (Clattering)
" (gasps)

(woman whimpering)

- (gasps)
- Please!

- Don't kill me!
- Get up!

(gasping, crying)

Okay, I need to get in here.

Do you know the code?

Well, enter it.

(beeping)

(door clicks)

- All right, you can get out of here.
- Thank you.

What happened?
Did you guys see...

(indistinct whispering)

I need to talk to you guys for a second.
(clears throat)

(sighs)

So, urn, I got a problem.

- (gasps)
- Whoa.

- (whispers) Holy shit.
- It's not what you think.

It feels like something inside of me
that's trying to come out.

It hurts, and... whoa.

What if it's Baal?
What if I'm Baal, guys?

No, don't. Come on, buddy.
That's just a rash.

I mean, I've had a million rashes
in all kinds of funky places, you know?

My armpit, my-my gonads,
my-my butt crack, my butt cheek...

Chet:
Hey, Ash, I'm leaving.

- Whoa.
- You're not going anywhere, numbnuts.

You're not the boss of me.

Anyone consider
it might be in this chick?

Hey, Ash, I think you really need to
tell your friend to shut the fuck up.

You know what?
Maybe it's in him.

- He looks skeezy as shit.
- Chet: Hey, Ash.

How well do you really know
the Mexican, anyway?

Hey, he's not
"the Mexican," okay?

He's Pablo.

Pablo the Mexican.

Yeah, kind of like you're Chet,
Chet the dumb, white guy.

- Chet: No!
- Whoa, that's a little racist, Pablo.

- Apology?
- You're all crazy.

There's no goddamn demon.

It's just this asshole.

Ashy Slashy back to kill us all.

- He's not Ashy Slashy.
- Excuse me?

He-he's the good guy.
He fights against these things.

His friend shoots me in the leg,

- and you're on his side?
- No, Dad, he's on our side.

That's horsecrap,
you better smarten up, young lady...

And you better lay off her,
or I'll pop you one.

- Again.
- You put down the gun and try it.

Um, what happened
between the two of you?

- Stay out of this.
- Thomas.

Honey, this isn't you.
You're-you're hurt.

- You're upset.
- I said shut up.

Hey, easy cowboy.
How do we know it isn't you?

For one thing,
I haven't killed anyone lately.

Yeah, that's right.

Your friend, Ash,
had a visit with Amber.

Cut her head off.

(gasps)

Is it true?

Oh, honey, of course not.

(chuckles)

It's complicated.

Linda:
Oh, God, Ash.

- It is you, isn't it?
- No!No!

- I say we fucking kill him now!
- Calm down, cupcake.

- All right, all right.
- (knife clatters)

All right, everyone
just calm the fuck down.

Ruby said that
this would happen.

That we'd turn into animals
and rip each other's throats out.

And you know what,
that's exactly what Baal wants.

- But it's not safe here.
- (chuckles) Come on, Linda.

I'm still the same Ash,

used to take you out
for burgers every Friday night.

Remember?

- Carving our initials in the bleachers...
- (Linda chuckles)

...having our first kiss
in your mom's Volvo.

- (chuckles)
- That wasn't me.

" Chevy?
- N0pe_

- K-car?
- Oh, my God.

- Pinto?
- I'm just...

Chet: Ash, hey, man.

You know what I said

- about sticking with you?
- Yeah.

- Till the wheels fall off?
- Sure.

Well, um, you know,
if what Emery says is true, than...

- see you, buddy.
- Chet, there's no way I'm a demon!

- You got that?!
- Uh, no.

- Let's take a vote.
- Yeah, let's do that!

If you think Ash is the demon,
raise your hand.

9"°al1in9)

Pablo? Are you okay?

- (clattering)
- How are you not scared?

As long as we've got that dagger,
we have a chance.

What are you doing?

You are scared, aren't you?

It's written all over your face.

I don't get scared.

(chuckles)

Of course you do.

You're only human.

(bar clatters)

Well, actually...

Shh.

(whispers)
You're not fooling anyone, Ruby.

You're safe now.

You don't have to be
scared anymore.

(groaning)

(yelling)

Hey, toots.

Long time no see.

(electricity crackles)

(sighs)
That's better.

You always liked me in black.

Come to Daddy.

(yells)

Now, you don't mind
if I take this, do you?

(gasping)

Now, we had a deal, remember?

(breathlessly)
I remember. I remem...

You murdered them.

You betrayed me.

I III:

Oh, what?

Oh, you think you could
keep your mortality a secret, huh?

You were so beautiful.

Now you're growing old.

Like these maggots.

And you're going to die slowly.

Like these maggots.

Maybe.

But first, I'm going to send you
back to hell where you belong.

And how exactly?

The Necronomicon is gone,
and I'm up here.

I'm here to stay, Ruby,

and you get to watch me burn
your world to the ground.

Never.

How are you going to stop me?

You think your precious Jefe
is going to be the savior of humanity?

You get to watch me break him.

I'd love to tell you more,

but I got to scat, alley cat.

Uaughs)

I feel it spreading, Jefe.

It hurts.

I can feel it spreading
all over my body, guys.

(indistinct whispering)

ls there any pain killers
in this thing?

- Lacey: Dad, no!
- Fuck!

Stay back!
I don't want to hurt you.

Yet.

(grunts)

Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad,
don't-don't hurt him!

Hand that gun over
before you do something really stupid.

- Is it you?
- The truth is I don't know.

- I'll see you in hell.
- No!

Wait, wait, wait, uh, wait, wait, wait.
You're-you're not thinking straight.

He-he might be innocent.

- No.
- Thomas, yes.

No.

Someone's got to restore
law and order to this place.

No, but you can't just kill him!

Baal:
Yes, you can.

Don't you ever shut the fuck up?!

- (gasps) Thomas.
- Oh, my God.

Baby, I'm sorry.

(Ash yells)

(screaming)

(yells)

Lady cop!

- Ash!
' (QTOarls)

(copy machine whirring)

Lacey:
No,Dad,no,no!

- Thomas!
- Dad?!

- (screams)
- Mom!

- Pablo: Jefe!
- Whoa!

(screaming)

- Fuck.
- Oh, my God!

Joanie! No!

Oh, God!

You were so giving!

Mom? Mom?!

- (Ash panting)
- (Lacey screams) Oh, my God.

- Mom? Mom? Where's Mom?
- Linda?!

- Emery: Linda?!
- Lacey: Mom?!

- Linda?!
- Mom, where are you?!

Linda: Help!
Someone get me out of here!

(electricity buzzing)

- Ash! Ash! Oh!
- Linda, thank God you're okay.

Get you out of there
in no time, baby.

- (roars)
- (Linda and Ash screaming)

Thomas!

(high-pitch screaming)

(shotgun cocks)

(groans)

(pants)
Don't worry, Linda.

I'll get you out of there,
no matter how long it takes!

Ash, catch!

Linda, are you all right?

(softly)
I messed up.

I know that, and I'm sorry.

But I'm here now,
and I'll keep you and Lacey safe.

- I swear!
- Don't touch me.

- Honey.
- It's over!

Your mother drove a Volkswagen.

Yeah, and you stole it.

- And crashed it.
- Damn right I did.

But you know what, it's not my fault,
because I was totally wasted.

- (chuckling)
- Pablo: What's happening to me?!

(Pablo retching)

(gasping)
Get it out of me!

Please!
Please, make it stop!

Lacey:
Oh, I think he's dying!

- (Pablo screaming)
- Stay calm, Pablo.

It's okay. It's okay.

- (wailing)
- (squishing)

- Is that Sumerian?
- It ain't French.

- (grunting)
- (squishing continues)

I told you I'm him.

(panting)
I'm Baal!

No, Pablo, you're not Baal.

You're our only hope
of stopping him.

(yelling)

I You're the Poetry Man ♪

♪ You make things all rhyme ♪

I Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Ohh, yeah I

I Yeah, yeah ♪

A' Ooh, yeah a'

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