As If (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Ayirtma Yenilemesi - full transcript
There is nothing that Ilkkan cannot do to avoid losing his lover.
Brother, I'm saying that there're no
waiters. He does everything by himself.
From A to Z. Fish, tapas...
Do you know the real deal? He catches
the fish and delivers it to you fresh.
-By himself?
-Yes, he does.
He cooks it fresh.
The place is for six people.
Not for more. Not crowded or noisy.
It is a place to relax.
There a no phones.
No phones.
It is shabby and cozy.
It's the real deal.
I waited in front of its door
for two days. Ask me why.
To make a reservation.
For two days.
He witnessed it.
Yes, brother. Yes.
The place is such a place...
How shall I put it?
Real deal you know.
It is genuine.
Very nice, man.
Very nice.
-When are we going there tomorrow?
-At 8, brother.
Don't be late. If we don't make it,
the guy'll have someone else.
Yeah, let's be punctual.
Okay.
How are you doing?
Fine. I was going to the construction
fair, you said it's important, so?
İlkkan, I don't like to beat around
the bush about things like that.
For that reason, I'll say it
directly, are you ready?
Tell me.
Selen is married.
-I know.
-How do you know?
I know, man. She is married
on paper.
She hasn't seen her husband for 2
years. There'll be a divorce case too.
Lying is not our thing.
I had prepared a very long
speech for you. Damn it.
These things should be mentioned.
Say things like, "My girlfriend is
married, even on paper."
I didn't say anything, how about that?
It's none of anyone's business.
It's my private affair.
Okay, you can do your
speech if you want.
He's upset now.
I didn't do a speech.
Anyway.
Say the other thing.
The other thing?
Yes.
What's the other thing?
Do you know why
Selen left her husband?
Yes, man. He cheated on her.
They were already at odds,
When he was with someone else--
Yes, that someone
is a woman
called Elif.
Elif says something she's not supposed
to say in a group called Wild Cats.
What's Wild Cats?
A band?
No, a WhatsApp group.
Berk is also a member there.
They hang out there.
Anyway...
The girl lets slip, she says,
"I used a spell to make my lover
get a divorce."
Then the conversation goes on.
And when they mention the names İlkkan
and Selen
Berk sends a PM: "Ms. Elif,
I'm so interested in spells." To
make her say things.
And Elif says,
"I got my lover break up with that
Selen whore through tooth spell."
So what, maybe another person
with the same name.
Is Selen's husband called Arda?
-Yes.
-That's it then.
It's true then.
Because we checked
Elif's Facebook profile too.
It's true then.
What's true? Why you being ridiculous?
So Elif did that spell, so what?
What can happen?
What spell? Are you crazy?
Are we in the Middle Ages?
Man, the girl left her husband
via a spell.
We went and talked to
İshak Hodja.
Who's İshak Hodja, man?
A respected person.
Someone very important.
We talked to İshak Hodja.
We said İshak Hodja, this happened. This
happened to a close friend of ours.
"Someone did a tooth spell."
İshak Hodja said: "The tooth spell
is so strong."
"But it won't last long."
We said, "Can you do anything
if we bring our friend?"
He said, "I'm going to Balıkesir
but I can refer a friend of mine."
He gave us the phone number
of another sorcerer.
İlkkan look, I ask you
to do this.
Let's extend the period of this
tooth spell. Those things are serious.
Man, don't be ridiculous.
I can't believe you.
What a nonsense. I don't believe
those, let it go.
İlkkan.
If I mean anything to you,
think about it.
And tomorrow night, we'll go
to a very nice tavern.
It's shabby and cozy.
-We'll go there by 8.
-Okay, shabby will do.
-Let me think about it.
-Very shabby.
Here I am.
What's up?
You're a little late.
It's ridiculous. I parked the car.
Then I thought about where I parked it.
I couldn't remember. I went back.
I looked for it for half
an hour, then I found it. Sorry.
Don't worry.
You got confused I guess.
I don't know, I was on
autopilot.
I went to Arda's office again.
His work just finished, he just left.
Please forgive me.
-Are you angry?
-No. Did you say again?
What again?
Didn't you say you went
to his office again?
You know, I went the other day
I had told you.
We met with a lawyer. And today
I went to sign an additional protocol.
I see, you signed it.
And it's over now. Right?
It's over. It's over.
It's done.
Something happened to Arda,
he was kind of cute.
He had a girlfriend once, a trashy
woman, I told you. Remember?
They broke up and his
face was glowing.
He was making jokes and everything.
I was going to sign the paper
and he took it from me instantenously.
He said let's not get a divorce
and all.
I said, "Arda, what a
great idea."
And he laughed.
He was silly.
When I was about to leave
he showed the paper,
said that he won't
hand it to the lawyer. Silly.
I said, "Sir, are you flirting
with me? What's up?"
He said, "He wouldn't with someone
with a boyfriend." Look at that.
And I realized he was wearing the
sweater I had got him for his birthday.
I said Arda, you're
intimidating.
Man, let's go to that
sorcerer.
-What?
-It's wearing off.
What the hell?
The spell it's wearing off.
-My relationship is going away, Yılmaz.
-What's going on, what spell?
Man, get up, please.
Girl.
Man, where were you?
Man, are you crazy you had
us come here early in the morning?
Welcome, why did you
guys come?
Thanks to brother Yılmaz's
principles.
-What principle?
-What principle?
He doesn't leave a second key.
And he doesn't leave it when he goes.
Man, I do it as I don't trust myself.
We talked about this.
Sure, man. Sure.
We were curious about
the spell.
You never know.
Esra was very curious.
Because it's ridiculous.
-Why?
-What do you mean?
It's ridiculous. What is a spell?
-Anyway, let's walk.
-Man, it's 8 in the morning.
The sorcerer shift won't start.
Let's go get some tea and coffee.
And you can tell us about your trouble.
You're saying there is no
such thing as a spell?
I'm saying that I don't have a reason
to say that it exists.
Well, does it mean that
it doesn't exist?
You can't know about a thing that
doesn't exist.
How do you know about what? There're no
turtles here for instance. We know it.
No, that's not what I mean, Yılmaz.
How can you say "it doesn't exist"
about something you don't know.
I'm not saying "it doesn't exist"
I just can't say "it does exist."
-I'm saying "it does."
-Based on what?
İlkkan's girlfriend broke up with her
husband with a spell, based on that.
So we have two probabilities.
One, his girlfriend was an adult who
wanted to break up from her husband.
Two, they put a spell on her and she
left her husband against her will.
To say it's valid, you need to show me
a cause and effect relationship.
Esra, I'm showing
it to you.
Cause: Spell.
Effect: Break up.
-Is that it?
-Yes.
Actually, I say we should follow
the ways of reason.
Well, whatever.
You need to explain the first
probability to me. Tell us about that.
Okay, well. Let's find an
example.
-Berk was in Turkey this morning.
-Okay.
Five hours later he called and said,
"I'm in the UK."
Yes.
There are two probabilities.
Berk either got a flight
or he flew by himself.
Which probability it is?
I'd ask him if he got a flight,
that's all.
If you weren't able to ask him, you'd
have thought he flew by himself?
Flight and magic, are they
the same thing?
No, they're not. I'm just trying to
show you the way you think is the same.
-I'm saying the way you think is wrong.
-You're changing the subject.
That's what you do.
-Magic and flight are not that same.
-Don't focus on that, it's an analogy.
-Do you know what analogy is?
-No.
Yılmaz.
High school won't work for you.
Go back to kindergarten. Start over.
You know what you did now?
We were just talking and you
made it personal.
You couldn't beat me with ideas. So you
try to underestimate and humiliate me.
You should go back to kindergarten.
Yılmaz, dear.
I'm not underestimating you.
Just start from the beginning
and learn to think logically.
History, geography, math,
they're all nice.
But without logic one can't comprehend.
So, you are always logical and right?
Did I say that?
I didn't say anything like that.
Esra, if you were in my shoes, if you
saw what I saw, you'd have agreed.
You'd have said, "This woman broke
up because of a spell."
Look, one day ago. They were like
lovebirds.
The next day, "I love someone else
let's get a divorce."
I swear that's how it happened.
Am I wrong, İlkkan?
Well, man it was
like that.
Okay, I won't say anything
else to you.
-Didn't you go to a fortune teller?
-How's that related?
Can you say, "I've never been to
a fortune teller?" No, you can't.
90% of women go to a
fortune teller.
Yes.
I don't know about the "ladies" that
go there, I didn't go and I wouldn't.
Okay then. Look it's 9 now. The
sorcerers should be open. Let's go.
-Do you have the address?
-I do.
-Esra, I've a request for you.
-Yes?
Look, when we go there. Don't say
things like spells do not exist.
Don't argue with him. Please sit down
and watch. Okay? Quietly.
Understood?
Can you promise me?
When did I do things like that?
It's not in my nature. Okay.
-Promise?
-Okay, promise. I won't say a thing.
I don't want you to be disrespectful
to the sorcerer, guys.
This is over too.
I just made a weight loss spell.
So, what's your complaint?
Well, we've got your name from
İshak Hodja.
İshak Hodja said, "Sorcerer Bako is
number one in this field."
And here we are.
No, I'm not a Hodja.
I don't do things like that.
I approach things scientifically.
The ones that are Hodja approach it with
theology, I with science.
Look now, science is on one side
and religion is on the other.
These are almost like two
sides of the same coin.
Hold it tight and you
shall achieve it.
By science, which one do you
mean for instance?
The ones that we call hidden sciences,
meaning they're hidden.
I see.
Look at the photos.
Professors, business people.
They all come to me.
These all consult to Bako.
-I understand.
-So, what's your complaint?
Now, sir. Here's the case. Our friend
has been with a lady for some time.
This lady is married.
But on paper.
We, of course,
talked to İshak Hodja.
This lady is under some
sort of spell.
She is affected by a spell.
And according to what İshak Hodja said
this spell is wearing off.
Now İlkkan is sad of course
because the woman he loves
left her husband because of a spell.
And knowing that the spell is wearing
off, we're demoralized.
And as a countermeasure
and to comfort ourselves,
we came to you.
I understand.
Well, did İshak Hodja
give the name of the spell?
He said, tooth spell, sir.
Sure.
Now, this spell lasts around
one year.
It needs to be renewed
every year.
How long it has been?
It's been a year and a half
since our relationship started.
Sure.
Well, can I get one of your
shoes?
-Really? One of them?
-Yes.
The left or right. Doesn't matter.
Okay, let me give you the left
one.
Here you go.
Yes. This spell wore off
last week.
Now, I can offer you two
options.
-What was her name?
-Selen.
Renewing the spell of having
Ms. Selen break up with her husband,
the spell of having Ms. Selen
fall in love with you
or both of them
But that may be costly.
And also if Ms. Selen's energy
increases, God forbid,
she may be institutionalized.
It is dangerous.
But, of course, it's
up to you.
What do you think?
Well, we already have an efficient
spell. Its effect is proven.
We know that having her get a divorce
worked.
I think we should go on with
the spell we know. That's my opinion.
Well, I agree.
Yılmaz is right. But there's also this.
I also think about it.
Isn't it more guaranteed to
have her fall in love with you?
Because it would be confusing.
Not knowing what would work.
I'm saying it for that reason. But it's
up to you. I don't want to intervene.
Bless you.
-Thanks.
-Bless you.
Well, look at the photos.
Professors, business people,
scientists. They all come to me.
Look. Do you know the
person here?
Yaman from Turkish TV series
Yamalı Bohça.
İlkkan, man, choose your
spell. Do it.
Well, Bako Hodja. Sorry.
Mr. Bako.
First of all, what is the price
difference between these spells?
And is there any difference regarding
responsibility?
Let me put it this way. Renewal of the
break up spell costs five.
Having Ms. Selen fall in love
with you costs three.
-Thousand?
-Thousand, yes.
This renewal, why is this more
expensive?
Since this is a renewal,
it needs more material.
And it's a very hard spell.
Needs work.
For instance love, attachment...
They are easy matters.
-By material?
-They need a lot of material.
You choose your spell. And I'll tell
you about all the procedures etc.
I think I'll choose having Selen fall
in love with me spell.
Good, it's more guaranteed.
Sure, of course. Can I get
your other shoe?
Sure.
Let me give it to you.
-Age?
-39.
-Her age?
-32.
Well, does she have an account
on the web?
-Why do you need it?
-It's needed. Let's get it if she does.
selenn_sese
Selen with two "N". And after "_"
it is "se" and "se".
Do you have a photo of her?
If not I can get selfie shot
from the web. She has selfies, right?
Sure she does. Like everyone.
-And your photo?
-Selfie? I have a passport photo.
Sure, that's fine.
Well, I need hair.
Either yours or hers.
Well, I... You know.
Can it be from the sides or behind?
Turn your head please.
Sure, sure.
We don't need it long, we just
need a bit.
-If you can put it here.
-Okay.
Well, Ms. Selen is a pretty lady.
Now, I'm a man of truth.
I can't lie.
Mashallah. Mashallah.
She is very beautiful.
-She is civilized.
-Can we go on?
Well, yes. Flour, two kilos.
But the one in the market works,
the 2.5 kg one.
Flour, yes.
Black ink.
I had some but now I don't.
A little bit of pomegranate syrup.
Milk.
Chicken.
But it should be unfeathered.
The one in the market will do.
-Write market chicken there.
-Sure.
Exactly.
Cumin. Cold coffee.
How come?
You know the cold coffee in the
market in boxes?
Four of them.
Sir, this seems like a new spell?
How can it be? It is a very
old one.
We used to cook our coffee and
then make it cold.
Finally sealing tape.
-Why?
-That's how we form the attachment.
Well then, sir...
When would the effect of this spell
begin? How long is the wait?
There isn't one.
You'll go and get the material.
It takes 15 minutes to prepare it.
Efficient right away.
Really?
I thought it'd take a couple of days.
How can that be? Look.
We solved all of their problems.
Right away.
At the same time.
Okay, then we can go and get the
material and you can do the spell.
OK, I don't have an appointment until
1 o'clock. Get the material.
And we'll begin
right away.
Can I wear my shoes?
No way. They shall stay
there for some time.
Well then. We can go.
You wrote it down right?
-I did.
-Okay, let's go you stay here.
Shall I come too?
-If you wish.
-Go, let's go.
We'll do it.
We'll do it.
Well, everyone.
All is ready.
Let's get a spoon.
Shouldn't the owner of the spell
do it? Will we do it too?
The thing is, when the spell is being
made all that swear shall have it.
Everyone in this room shall get
get this elixir. One spoon.
-Me too? It's not my thing at all.
-Your choice.
If you had stayed outside,
but you're in.
Esra hand it, dear. You'll have some
too.
Everyone will have it. We came
this far.
This won't be harmful, right?
Not at all.
Not at all, but the spell has a side
effect. Especially you and
everyone else may feel dizzy, and
get a stomachache. It won't take long.
Don't worry.
At once, at once.
Don't leave any.
Guys, let's finish them.
Please.
Ma'am come now, finish it.
-Esra, please.
-Esra, this is about my future.
Do it, please.
Well, now. Water. When can
we have water, Mr. Bako?
-Don't drink for a couple of minutes.
-It feels dry.
It's the side effect of the
spell.
In a couple of minutes you can drink or
rinse. After all its sourness will go.
No problem there.
İlkkan, that's no ice cream. Have it
at once.
-We came here for your spell.
-Tasty, actually.
Enjoy it.
I mean it can be used.
At receptions and all.
Enjoy it.
The chicken is not cooked,
right?
Yes, not cooked.
Esra, do it at once. Let's
get this over with.
Guys, if it's over. I hope you'll
feel better.
Don't forget what I said.
There may be small side effects.
But don't worry. They'll go away.
That's it. Thank you.
Man, are you sure?
Is it here?
Yes I'm sure. We went through
the path.
We saw the sign.
Man, yes. It says Zorba on the sign.
It's so shabby and cozy.
Very nice.
I don't think it's shabby.
It's closed.
Look at it.
It's abandoned.
Okay, let's go now.
Come now.
Good night, brother.
We had a reservation. The name is
Berk Kozluçayır.
Come now, come now.
-Warm with the heater.
-Very nice.
-Berk, so awesome! Five stars.
-Would I take you to a bad place?
Brother, sit. Sit.
It's really nice.
There is a stain on my chair.
Esra, can you--
It's just a painting.
-For the love of God.
-Don't be scared, it happens to us too.
What do you think of the place?
Shabby, right?
Man, I think this is too much.
Look at that.
So, guys. How shall we do it?
Will everyone order fish one by one?
Or shall we order things for everyone?
And will you all drink rakı?
I should ask that too.
-Sure.
-Sure.
OK, so let me propose
this...
Let's order large fish as portions.
And smaller ones like tapas.
Salad--
My chair is broken, it's leg
won't work now.
Nothing will happen.
Sit carefully, easy.
What do you mean by
that?
Adjust your weight accordingly.
A problem everywhere.
We're ready to order.
What fish do you have?
I've got two fish. Bream and bass.
Very nice. Let's get three breams
and two basses.
-On the middle of the table.
-I meant the amount.
I've got one bass and one bream.
-So?
-How? Why?
There weren't any.
Well then, let us get those two fish.
What tapas do you have?
-Cheese.
-Okay.
Melon.
-Haydari.
-Okay.
Olives.
Okay.
Melon.
You said that.
Then, brother just bring us everything
you have.
And we wish to get a
big one.
Man, I like this sincerity.
Was there no fish? Okay.
That's it.
It's not like he'd go to the market and
do it sloppily. It's the real deal.
That's it.
It's not sincerity. It's rudeness.
Sincerity and real deal
is not like that.
This, a little bit--
-I thought it was going to fall on us.
-We almost died.
It's OK, the cupboard fell.
Is it OK?
You know what, if we were seated
a bit further back, God saved us.
My heart is pounding.
Berk come let's lift it.
Man, don't be ridiculous.
Let it go. Will you worry about that?
Let it stay there in a
sincere way.
I was so scared.
Let's take a photo.
Things like that happen.
-What?
-Stop, take it from there.
-Let's see the place too.
-I can take it from wherever I want.
Let us show the extent of this
beautiful place to our friends.
Man, don't make a face. For the first
time be happy.
Anyway, look, look.
-What happened?
-What happened?
-My arm, there is a nail here!
-Show me how it is?
It's bleeding. Take him.
You should put it under water
and wash it. Then we'll put a napkin.
Damn it, what is that nail doing
on the wall?
-Entered like that.
-Yes.
He was being careless.
Is there water here? Does it work?
-Which way is the bathroom?
-There, there.
Is there no light here?
Damn it!
Brother, brother.
Brother, the guy is lying on the
floor and not moving.
-That's Ali.
-What's going on?
The guy is lying on the floor, like
he's dead.
-Brother, what's goin on inside?
-Ali is sleeping, be quiet.
Ah, okay. Sorry. Come here
the guy is sleeping. You're yelling.
When we leave here let's go to the
hospital, the nail may be rusty.
Let's go. It's
throbbing.
-Are you okay?
-Hope you'll feel better.
Thank you.
Can I get a fork?
I don't have any.
There are no available forks.
All are in use.
Do they have 3 forks?
Damn your choices...
You said shabby. But the food shouldn't
be shabby.
Did you see shabby food
in your life?
Okay, don't do it for the love of
God. Come!
Cheers, come on.
Come on, come on.
Come, man. Come, man.
Okay.
There are no problems.
Man, how will you drink that?
As much as I can.
I didn't want to say it.
But...
-I feel something.
-What's wrong?
My stomach.
I think I feel sick.
Get some air.
Can you move the fish away
a bit, it smells a lot.
Don't bring it close to me.
I don't feel well either.
My stomach feels sick, I'm sweating.
It feels cold too.
You have it as
well?
What happened
to you?
How should I know?
Eat some melon, it's fresh.
I'll say something.
My arm hurts.
We said, "Hope you feel better."
How about you?
I'm fine.
-Let's eat these.
-Are you sure?
Smells like shit.
It's coming from somewhere.
Don't do it man, what
are you doing?
No really, I feel it too.
Apologies, it's such a nice place.
But we were unlucky.
Fuck it!
-Damn it!
-Your fuckking shabby place! Enough!
Damn it!
Fuck off!
What is this!
Come, come. Come!
Damn it.
İlkkan.
İlkkan.
İlkkan.
Oh, my dear. What
happened to you?
My stomach. It was so bad.
Okay, okay dear.
I'll make a coffee
for you.
You wash your hands and face.
Feel better.
Then we should talk,
İlkkan.
Well. I can't do anything about
in this situation.
What can I do?
Brother, nobody tells you to do
anything.
Just give us our money back.
Just do that.
That's what we tell you.
We want our money back, nothing else.
Why would I give your
money back?
Did I do the spell?
Yes.
Did it work?
Yes.
-So what's up?
-Well, brother...
Mr. Bako. We don't know
if the spell worked or not.
-There's no need for the spell anymore.
-What do you mean?
The girl is going far away.
Let her go.
Love knows no distance. You can still
love each other. Everybody does that.
The distance is huge.
She's going to Jamaica.
For 10 years, it's not Europe.
How can I go to Jamaica?
After all, she said goodbye.
She said, it's over.
It doesn't work.
It's not a distance to have a
relationship. The rest is after life.
Please, be understanding.
What sort of job offer did she
get from Jamaica?
For the love of God.
What's she doing?
Brother Bako, look. This girl is
a hydrogeological engineer.
They drill water wells in Jamaica.
There was an offer she was waiting
on for years.
She said, that's the offer of my life
I can't refuse it.
I said I can come too.
She said what will you
do in Jamaica?
But she said, "İlkkan. You've got no
place in Jamaica, dear."
So, she said well.
Is it a lie?
Okay, that's true. That's not
a lie. But Mr. Bako, look.
The girl went to Jamaica.
We, please...
We paid you, please give at least
half of it or some amount back.
Look, you see our good will.
Please, give us our
money back.
Money is impossible.
Can't give us back a little?
But we can do this...
I can give you two
cold coffees.
You can go by drinking it.
Well, I feel bad.
In Jamaica, there's a tutu parrot.
It has eyes like emeralds and
colorful feathers.
We used to do an exam success
spell with the parrot.
Look at all those business people,
they were so successful at ALES.
But recently importing the tutu parrot
became forbidden.
What I say is this. If I write Ms.
Selen on the web...
I won't lie this is quite
illegal.
If I say, "Ms. Selen 1000 liras per
parrot." What do you think?
Do you think she'd accept?
I'm just asking.
Yes, what are you doing there?
Good, you are going to
the games, right?
Ah, good. You know what
I'll ask you something.
Did you hear of anything called
the tutu parrot there?
Tutu parrot.
Tutu.
Yes, T U T U.
Yes.
I understand.
I see.
Man, they don't know of anything
like that in Brazil.
But he says there's something called
a toucan parrot.
And a macaw parrot.
No, how can he know? It'll
be tutu. Tutu.
-Perhaps they call it toucan in Brazil?
-It must be "Tutu".
Hello Kerimcan.
I can't hear you.
Hello. Hang up.
Hang up. OK.
Kerimcan has a heart of gold.
Really he goes from here to Brazil
and starts a samba school.
Amazing. It needs courage.
Not everyone can do it.
Yes.
I've got tetanus
shot by the way.
-Hope you'll get better.
-Hope you'll get better.
By the way, they just wrote
on WhatsApp.
Ethem's brother-in-law
died.
-Let's give him a call.
-Really?
Dark clouds.
Who was Ethem?
waiters. He does everything by himself.
From A to Z. Fish, tapas...
Do you know the real deal? He catches
the fish and delivers it to you fresh.
-By himself?
-Yes, he does.
He cooks it fresh.
The place is for six people.
Not for more. Not crowded or noisy.
It is a place to relax.
There a no phones.
No phones.
It is shabby and cozy.
It's the real deal.
I waited in front of its door
for two days. Ask me why.
To make a reservation.
For two days.
He witnessed it.
Yes, brother. Yes.
The place is such a place...
How shall I put it?
Real deal you know.
It is genuine.
Very nice, man.
Very nice.
-When are we going there tomorrow?
-At 8, brother.
Don't be late. If we don't make it,
the guy'll have someone else.
Yeah, let's be punctual.
Okay.
How are you doing?
Fine. I was going to the construction
fair, you said it's important, so?
İlkkan, I don't like to beat around
the bush about things like that.
For that reason, I'll say it
directly, are you ready?
Tell me.
Selen is married.
-I know.
-How do you know?
I know, man. She is married
on paper.
She hasn't seen her husband for 2
years. There'll be a divorce case too.
Lying is not our thing.
I had prepared a very long
speech for you. Damn it.
These things should be mentioned.
Say things like, "My girlfriend is
married, even on paper."
I didn't say anything, how about that?
It's none of anyone's business.
It's my private affair.
Okay, you can do your
speech if you want.
He's upset now.
I didn't do a speech.
Anyway.
Say the other thing.
The other thing?
Yes.
What's the other thing?
Do you know why
Selen left her husband?
Yes, man. He cheated on her.
They were already at odds,
When he was with someone else--
Yes, that someone
is a woman
called Elif.
Elif says something she's not supposed
to say in a group called Wild Cats.
What's Wild Cats?
A band?
No, a WhatsApp group.
Berk is also a member there.
They hang out there.
Anyway...
The girl lets slip, she says,
"I used a spell to make my lover
get a divorce."
Then the conversation goes on.
And when they mention the names İlkkan
and Selen
Berk sends a PM: "Ms. Elif,
I'm so interested in spells." To
make her say things.
And Elif says,
"I got my lover break up with that
Selen whore through tooth spell."
So what, maybe another person
with the same name.
Is Selen's husband called Arda?
-Yes.
-That's it then.
It's true then.
Because we checked
Elif's Facebook profile too.
It's true then.
What's true? Why you being ridiculous?
So Elif did that spell, so what?
What can happen?
What spell? Are you crazy?
Are we in the Middle Ages?
Man, the girl left her husband
via a spell.
We went and talked to
İshak Hodja.
Who's İshak Hodja, man?
A respected person.
Someone very important.
We talked to İshak Hodja.
We said İshak Hodja, this happened. This
happened to a close friend of ours.
"Someone did a tooth spell."
İshak Hodja said: "The tooth spell
is so strong."
"But it won't last long."
We said, "Can you do anything
if we bring our friend?"
He said, "I'm going to Balıkesir
but I can refer a friend of mine."
He gave us the phone number
of another sorcerer.
İlkkan look, I ask you
to do this.
Let's extend the period of this
tooth spell. Those things are serious.
Man, don't be ridiculous.
I can't believe you.
What a nonsense. I don't believe
those, let it go.
İlkkan.
If I mean anything to you,
think about it.
And tomorrow night, we'll go
to a very nice tavern.
It's shabby and cozy.
-We'll go there by 8.
-Okay, shabby will do.
-Let me think about it.
-Very shabby.
Here I am.
What's up?
You're a little late.
It's ridiculous. I parked the car.
Then I thought about where I parked it.
I couldn't remember. I went back.
I looked for it for half
an hour, then I found it. Sorry.
Don't worry.
You got confused I guess.
I don't know, I was on
autopilot.
I went to Arda's office again.
His work just finished, he just left.
Please forgive me.
-Are you angry?
-No. Did you say again?
What again?
Didn't you say you went
to his office again?
You know, I went the other day
I had told you.
We met with a lawyer. And today
I went to sign an additional protocol.
I see, you signed it.
And it's over now. Right?
It's over. It's over.
It's done.
Something happened to Arda,
he was kind of cute.
He had a girlfriend once, a trashy
woman, I told you. Remember?
They broke up and his
face was glowing.
He was making jokes and everything.
I was going to sign the paper
and he took it from me instantenously.
He said let's not get a divorce
and all.
I said, "Arda, what a
great idea."
And he laughed.
He was silly.
When I was about to leave
he showed the paper,
said that he won't
hand it to the lawyer. Silly.
I said, "Sir, are you flirting
with me? What's up?"
He said, "He wouldn't with someone
with a boyfriend." Look at that.
And I realized he was wearing the
sweater I had got him for his birthday.
I said Arda, you're
intimidating.
Man, let's go to that
sorcerer.
-What?
-It's wearing off.
What the hell?
The spell it's wearing off.
-My relationship is going away, Yılmaz.
-What's going on, what spell?
Man, get up, please.
Girl.
Man, where were you?
Man, are you crazy you had
us come here early in the morning?
Welcome, why did you
guys come?
Thanks to brother Yılmaz's
principles.
-What principle?
-What principle?
He doesn't leave a second key.
And he doesn't leave it when he goes.
Man, I do it as I don't trust myself.
We talked about this.
Sure, man. Sure.
We were curious about
the spell.
You never know.
Esra was very curious.
Because it's ridiculous.
-Why?
-What do you mean?
It's ridiculous. What is a spell?
-Anyway, let's walk.
-Man, it's 8 in the morning.
The sorcerer shift won't start.
Let's go get some tea and coffee.
And you can tell us about your trouble.
You're saying there is no
such thing as a spell?
I'm saying that I don't have a reason
to say that it exists.
Well, does it mean that
it doesn't exist?
You can't know about a thing that
doesn't exist.
How do you know about what? There're no
turtles here for instance. We know it.
No, that's not what I mean, Yılmaz.
How can you say "it doesn't exist"
about something you don't know.
I'm not saying "it doesn't exist"
I just can't say "it does exist."
-I'm saying "it does."
-Based on what?
İlkkan's girlfriend broke up with her
husband with a spell, based on that.
So we have two probabilities.
One, his girlfriend was an adult who
wanted to break up from her husband.
Two, they put a spell on her and she
left her husband against her will.
To say it's valid, you need to show me
a cause and effect relationship.
Esra, I'm showing
it to you.
Cause: Spell.
Effect: Break up.
-Is that it?
-Yes.
Actually, I say we should follow
the ways of reason.
Well, whatever.
You need to explain the first
probability to me. Tell us about that.
Okay, well. Let's find an
example.
-Berk was in Turkey this morning.
-Okay.
Five hours later he called and said,
"I'm in the UK."
Yes.
There are two probabilities.
Berk either got a flight
or he flew by himself.
Which probability it is?
I'd ask him if he got a flight,
that's all.
If you weren't able to ask him, you'd
have thought he flew by himself?
Flight and magic, are they
the same thing?
No, they're not. I'm just trying to
show you the way you think is the same.
-I'm saying the way you think is wrong.
-You're changing the subject.
That's what you do.
-Magic and flight are not that same.
-Don't focus on that, it's an analogy.
-Do you know what analogy is?
-No.
Yılmaz.
High school won't work for you.
Go back to kindergarten. Start over.
You know what you did now?
We were just talking and you
made it personal.
You couldn't beat me with ideas. So you
try to underestimate and humiliate me.
You should go back to kindergarten.
Yılmaz, dear.
I'm not underestimating you.
Just start from the beginning
and learn to think logically.
History, geography, math,
they're all nice.
But without logic one can't comprehend.
So, you are always logical and right?
Did I say that?
I didn't say anything like that.
Esra, if you were in my shoes, if you
saw what I saw, you'd have agreed.
You'd have said, "This woman broke
up because of a spell."
Look, one day ago. They were like
lovebirds.
The next day, "I love someone else
let's get a divorce."
I swear that's how it happened.
Am I wrong, İlkkan?
Well, man it was
like that.
Okay, I won't say anything
else to you.
-Didn't you go to a fortune teller?
-How's that related?
Can you say, "I've never been to
a fortune teller?" No, you can't.
90% of women go to a
fortune teller.
Yes.
I don't know about the "ladies" that
go there, I didn't go and I wouldn't.
Okay then. Look it's 9 now. The
sorcerers should be open. Let's go.
-Do you have the address?
-I do.
-Esra, I've a request for you.
-Yes?
Look, when we go there. Don't say
things like spells do not exist.
Don't argue with him. Please sit down
and watch. Okay? Quietly.
Understood?
Can you promise me?
When did I do things like that?
It's not in my nature. Okay.
-Promise?
-Okay, promise. I won't say a thing.
I don't want you to be disrespectful
to the sorcerer, guys.
This is over too.
I just made a weight loss spell.
So, what's your complaint?
Well, we've got your name from
İshak Hodja.
İshak Hodja said, "Sorcerer Bako is
number one in this field."
And here we are.
No, I'm not a Hodja.
I don't do things like that.
I approach things scientifically.
The ones that are Hodja approach it with
theology, I with science.
Look now, science is on one side
and religion is on the other.
These are almost like two
sides of the same coin.
Hold it tight and you
shall achieve it.
By science, which one do you
mean for instance?
The ones that we call hidden sciences,
meaning they're hidden.
I see.
Look at the photos.
Professors, business people.
They all come to me.
These all consult to Bako.
-I understand.
-So, what's your complaint?
Now, sir. Here's the case. Our friend
has been with a lady for some time.
This lady is married.
But on paper.
We, of course,
talked to İshak Hodja.
This lady is under some
sort of spell.
She is affected by a spell.
And according to what İshak Hodja said
this spell is wearing off.
Now İlkkan is sad of course
because the woman he loves
left her husband because of a spell.
And knowing that the spell is wearing
off, we're demoralized.
And as a countermeasure
and to comfort ourselves,
we came to you.
I understand.
Well, did İshak Hodja
give the name of the spell?
He said, tooth spell, sir.
Sure.
Now, this spell lasts around
one year.
It needs to be renewed
every year.
How long it has been?
It's been a year and a half
since our relationship started.
Sure.
Well, can I get one of your
shoes?
-Really? One of them?
-Yes.
The left or right. Doesn't matter.
Okay, let me give you the left
one.
Here you go.
Yes. This spell wore off
last week.
Now, I can offer you two
options.
-What was her name?
-Selen.
Renewing the spell of having
Ms. Selen break up with her husband,
the spell of having Ms. Selen
fall in love with you
or both of them
But that may be costly.
And also if Ms. Selen's energy
increases, God forbid,
she may be institutionalized.
It is dangerous.
But, of course, it's
up to you.
What do you think?
Well, we already have an efficient
spell. Its effect is proven.
We know that having her get a divorce
worked.
I think we should go on with
the spell we know. That's my opinion.
Well, I agree.
Yılmaz is right. But there's also this.
I also think about it.
Isn't it more guaranteed to
have her fall in love with you?
Because it would be confusing.
Not knowing what would work.
I'm saying it for that reason. But it's
up to you. I don't want to intervene.
Bless you.
-Thanks.
-Bless you.
Well, look at the photos.
Professors, business people,
scientists. They all come to me.
Look. Do you know the
person here?
Yaman from Turkish TV series
Yamalı Bohça.
İlkkan, man, choose your
spell. Do it.
Well, Bako Hodja. Sorry.
Mr. Bako.
First of all, what is the price
difference between these spells?
And is there any difference regarding
responsibility?
Let me put it this way. Renewal of the
break up spell costs five.
Having Ms. Selen fall in love
with you costs three.
-Thousand?
-Thousand, yes.
This renewal, why is this more
expensive?
Since this is a renewal,
it needs more material.
And it's a very hard spell.
Needs work.
For instance love, attachment...
They are easy matters.
-By material?
-They need a lot of material.
You choose your spell. And I'll tell
you about all the procedures etc.
I think I'll choose having Selen fall
in love with me spell.
Good, it's more guaranteed.
Sure, of course. Can I get
your other shoe?
Sure.
Let me give it to you.
-Age?
-39.
-Her age?
-32.
Well, does she have an account
on the web?
-Why do you need it?
-It's needed. Let's get it if she does.
selenn_sese
Selen with two "N". And after "_"
it is "se" and "se".
Do you have a photo of her?
If not I can get selfie shot
from the web. She has selfies, right?
Sure she does. Like everyone.
-And your photo?
-Selfie? I have a passport photo.
Sure, that's fine.
Well, I need hair.
Either yours or hers.
Well, I... You know.
Can it be from the sides or behind?
Turn your head please.
Sure, sure.
We don't need it long, we just
need a bit.
-If you can put it here.
-Okay.
Well, Ms. Selen is a pretty lady.
Now, I'm a man of truth.
I can't lie.
Mashallah. Mashallah.
She is very beautiful.
-She is civilized.
-Can we go on?
Well, yes. Flour, two kilos.
But the one in the market works,
the 2.5 kg one.
Flour, yes.
Black ink.
I had some but now I don't.
A little bit of pomegranate syrup.
Milk.
Chicken.
But it should be unfeathered.
The one in the market will do.
-Write market chicken there.
-Sure.
Exactly.
Cumin. Cold coffee.
How come?
You know the cold coffee in the
market in boxes?
Four of them.
Sir, this seems like a new spell?
How can it be? It is a very
old one.
We used to cook our coffee and
then make it cold.
Finally sealing tape.
-Why?
-That's how we form the attachment.
Well then, sir...
When would the effect of this spell
begin? How long is the wait?
There isn't one.
You'll go and get the material.
It takes 15 minutes to prepare it.
Efficient right away.
Really?
I thought it'd take a couple of days.
How can that be? Look.
We solved all of their problems.
Right away.
At the same time.
Okay, then we can go and get the
material and you can do the spell.
OK, I don't have an appointment until
1 o'clock. Get the material.
And we'll begin
right away.
Can I wear my shoes?
No way. They shall stay
there for some time.
Well then. We can go.
You wrote it down right?
-I did.
-Okay, let's go you stay here.
Shall I come too?
-If you wish.
-Go, let's go.
We'll do it.
We'll do it.
Well, everyone.
All is ready.
Let's get a spoon.
Shouldn't the owner of the spell
do it? Will we do it too?
The thing is, when the spell is being
made all that swear shall have it.
Everyone in this room shall get
get this elixir. One spoon.
-Me too? It's not my thing at all.
-Your choice.
If you had stayed outside,
but you're in.
Esra hand it, dear. You'll have some
too.
Everyone will have it. We came
this far.
This won't be harmful, right?
Not at all.
Not at all, but the spell has a side
effect. Especially you and
everyone else may feel dizzy, and
get a stomachache. It won't take long.
Don't worry.
At once, at once.
Don't leave any.
Guys, let's finish them.
Please.
Ma'am come now, finish it.
-Esra, please.
-Esra, this is about my future.
Do it, please.
Well, now. Water. When can
we have water, Mr. Bako?
-Don't drink for a couple of minutes.
-It feels dry.
It's the side effect of the
spell.
In a couple of minutes you can drink or
rinse. After all its sourness will go.
No problem there.
İlkkan, that's no ice cream. Have it
at once.
-We came here for your spell.
-Tasty, actually.
Enjoy it.
I mean it can be used.
At receptions and all.
Enjoy it.
The chicken is not cooked,
right?
Yes, not cooked.
Esra, do it at once. Let's
get this over with.
Guys, if it's over. I hope you'll
feel better.
Don't forget what I said.
There may be small side effects.
But don't worry. They'll go away.
That's it. Thank you.
Man, are you sure?
Is it here?
Yes I'm sure. We went through
the path.
We saw the sign.
Man, yes. It says Zorba on the sign.
It's so shabby and cozy.
Very nice.
I don't think it's shabby.
It's closed.
Look at it.
It's abandoned.
Okay, let's go now.
Come now.
Good night, brother.
We had a reservation. The name is
Berk Kozluçayır.
Come now, come now.
-Warm with the heater.
-Very nice.
-Berk, so awesome! Five stars.
-Would I take you to a bad place?
Brother, sit. Sit.
It's really nice.
There is a stain on my chair.
Esra, can you--
It's just a painting.
-For the love of God.
-Don't be scared, it happens to us too.
What do you think of the place?
Shabby, right?
Man, I think this is too much.
Look at that.
So, guys. How shall we do it?
Will everyone order fish one by one?
Or shall we order things for everyone?
And will you all drink rakı?
I should ask that too.
-Sure.
-Sure.
OK, so let me propose
this...
Let's order large fish as portions.
And smaller ones like tapas.
Salad--
My chair is broken, it's leg
won't work now.
Nothing will happen.
Sit carefully, easy.
What do you mean by
that?
Adjust your weight accordingly.
A problem everywhere.
We're ready to order.
What fish do you have?
I've got two fish. Bream and bass.
Very nice. Let's get three breams
and two basses.
-On the middle of the table.
-I meant the amount.
I've got one bass and one bream.
-So?
-How? Why?
There weren't any.
Well then, let us get those two fish.
What tapas do you have?
-Cheese.
-Okay.
Melon.
-Haydari.
-Okay.
Olives.
Okay.
Melon.
You said that.
Then, brother just bring us everything
you have.
And we wish to get a
big one.
Man, I like this sincerity.
Was there no fish? Okay.
That's it.
It's not like he'd go to the market and
do it sloppily. It's the real deal.
That's it.
It's not sincerity. It's rudeness.
Sincerity and real deal
is not like that.
This, a little bit--
-I thought it was going to fall on us.
-We almost died.
It's OK, the cupboard fell.
Is it OK?
You know what, if we were seated
a bit further back, God saved us.
My heart is pounding.
Berk come let's lift it.
Man, don't be ridiculous.
Let it go. Will you worry about that?
Let it stay there in a
sincere way.
I was so scared.
Let's take a photo.
Things like that happen.
-What?
-Stop, take it from there.
-Let's see the place too.
-I can take it from wherever I want.
Let us show the extent of this
beautiful place to our friends.
Man, don't make a face. For the first
time be happy.
Anyway, look, look.
-What happened?
-What happened?
-My arm, there is a nail here!
-Show me how it is?
It's bleeding. Take him.
You should put it under water
and wash it. Then we'll put a napkin.
Damn it, what is that nail doing
on the wall?
-Entered like that.
-Yes.
He was being careless.
Is there water here? Does it work?
-Which way is the bathroom?
-There, there.
Is there no light here?
Damn it!
Brother, brother.
Brother, the guy is lying on the
floor and not moving.
-That's Ali.
-What's going on?
The guy is lying on the floor, like
he's dead.
-Brother, what's goin on inside?
-Ali is sleeping, be quiet.
Ah, okay. Sorry. Come here
the guy is sleeping. You're yelling.
When we leave here let's go to the
hospital, the nail may be rusty.
Let's go. It's
throbbing.
-Are you okay?
-Hope you'll feel better.
Thank you.
Can I get a fork?
I don't have any.
There are no available forks.
All are in use.
Do they have 3 forks?
Damn your choices...
You said shabby. But the food shouldn't
be shabby.
Did you see shabby food
in your life?
Okay, don't do it for the love of
God. Come!
Cheers, come on.
Come on, come on.
Come, man. Come, man.
Okay.
There are no problems.
Man, how will you drink that?
As much as I can.
I didn't want to say it.
But...
-I feel something.
-What's wrong?
My stomach.
I think I feel sick.
Get some air.
Can you move the fish away
a bit, it smells a lot.
Don't bring it close to me.
I don't feel well either.
My stomach feels sick, I'm sweating.
It feels cold too.
You have it as
well?
What happened
to you?
How should I know?
Eat some melon, it's fresh.
I'll say something.
My arm hurts.
We said, "Hope you feel better."
How about you?
I'm fine.
-Let's eat these.
-Are you sure?
Smells like shit.
It's coming from somewhere.
Don't do it man, what
are you doing?
No really, I feel it too.
Apologies, it's such a nice place.
But we were unlucky.
Fuck it!
-Damn it!
-Your fuckking shabby place! Enough!
Damn it!
Fuck off!
What is this!
Come, come. Come!
Damn it.
İlkkan.
İlkkan.
İlkkan.
Oh, my dear. What
happened to you?
My stomach. It was so bad.
Okay, okay dear.
I'll make a coffee
for you.
You wash your hands and face.
Feel better.
Then we should talk,
İlkkan.
Well. I can't do anything about
in this situation.
What can I do?
Brother, nobody tells you to do
anything.
Just give us our money back.
Just do that.
That's what we tell you.
We want our money back, nothing else.
Why would I give your
money back?
Did I do the spell?
Yes.
Did it work?
Yes.
-So what's up?
-Well, brother...
Mr. Bako. We don't know
if the spell worked or not.
-There's no need for the spell anymore.
-What do you mean?
The girl is going far away.
Let her go.
Love knows no distance. You can still
love each other. Everybody does that.
The distance is huge.
She's going to Jamaica.
For 10 years, it's not Europe.
How can I go to Jamaica?
After all, she said goodbye.
She said, it's over.
It doesn't work.
It's not a distance to have a
relationship. The rest is after life.
Please, be understanding.
What sort of job offer did she
get from Jamaica?
For the love of God.
What's she doing?
Brother Bako, look. This girl is
a hydrogeological engineer.
They drill water wells in Jamaica.
There was an offer she was waiting
on for years.
She said, that's the offer of my life
I can't refuse it.
I said I can come too.
She said what will you
do in Jamaica?
But she said, "İlkkan. You've got no
place in Jamaica, dear."
So, she said well.
Is it a lie?
Okay, that's true. That's not
a lie. But Mr. Bako, look.
The girl went to Jamaica.
We, please...
We paid you, please give at least
half of it or some amount back.
Look, you see our good will.
Please, give us our
money back.
Money is impossible.
Can't give us back a little?
But we can do this...
I can give you two
cold coffees.
You can go by drinking it.
Well, I feel bad.
In Jamaica, there's a tutu parrot.
It has eyes like emeralds and
colorful feathers.
We used to do an exam success
spell with the parrot.
Look at all those business people,
they were so successful at ALES.
But recently importing the tutu parrot
became forbidden.
What I say is this. If I write Ms.
Selen on the web...
I won't lie this is quite
illegal.
If I say, "Ms. Selen 1000 liras per
parrot." What do you think?
Do you think she'd accept?
I'm just asking.
Yes, what are you doing there?
Good, you are going to
the games, right?
Ah, good. You know what
I'll ask you something.
Did you hear of anything called
the tutu parrot there?
Tutu parrot.
Tutu.
Yes, T U T U.
Yes.
I understand.
I see.
Man, they don't know of anything
like that in Brazil.
But he says there's something called
a toucan parrot.
And a macaw parrot.
No, how can he know? It'll
be tutu. Tutu.
-Perhaps they call it toucan in Brazil?
-It must be "Tutu".
Hello Kerimcan.
I can't hear you.
Hello. Hang up.
Hang up. OK.
Kerimcan has a heart of gold.
Really he goes from here to Brazil
and starts a samba school.
Amazing. It needs courage.
Not everyone can do it.
Yes.
I've got tetanus
shot by the way.
-Hope you'll get better.
-Hope you'll get better.
By the way, they just wrote
on WhatsApp.
Ethem's brother-in-law
died.
-Let's give him a call.
-Really?
Dark clouds.
Who was Ethem?